Sunday, November 20, 2011

Distracted from D - Gruppe ( by knockouts )

It´s been a while since my last post but this time I have a really good excuse. As we are nearing the final lap of the year 2011 I didn´t want to leave too much unfinished business so I decided that the next post would be about Black Tower Comics D - GRUPPE comic - no matter what it takes.

There are a lot of things on my plate right now ( the second part of the Darick Robertson Appreciation post, the rest of the issues from GRATIS COMIC TAG 2011 which I have to review so I can give them away for the big Christmas contest, the announcement for the big Christmas contest, tons of news and strange and weird bits ) but all of them have to wait. I could have written a few posts in the meantime but I was adamant that it had to be D - GRUPPE, which of course meant re - reading the three issues and that turned out more difficult than I thought. Especially last weekend I really sat down with the sole purpose of starting with those issues of D - GRUPPE but each time something else came up. And the two days before the weekend I was busy with female wrestling because that´s one thing you can only get from the internet in Germany.

Female wrestling is almost never shown on German tv as the tv stations have the strange fear it encourages young, impressionable women who will start to kick the s - word out of each other. I always found it strange what a bad image wrestling has in Germany ( you have to protect your kids from this stuff ) while football ( or soccer  like it is known outside of Germany ) is the number 1 sport with the best image of all sports even if it produces hundreds of hooligans who roam the streets leading to millions in property damage because they trash things, beat people up and burn everything down.

But no. Wrestling is bad and dangerous because people are stupid and imitate everything they see on the telly. And football is a safe sport and healthy´s total rubbish anyway. So : hot female wrestling babes.

Like I said, they almost never show it on tv and when they do so much time has elapsed since the last time that all the titles have changed hands, all the feuds have been resolved and I have no idea who most of the women in the squared circle are. The only thing I really remember is that when I last watched this stuff the Nitro Girls were still on the WCW.

Now this was waaay back ( god, I´m dating myself here ) when Eric Bischoff was the boss of the WCW the competition to Vince McMahon´s WWE. They were competing on all levels and to get more viewers Eric Bischoff came up with the idea of the Nitro Girls a dancing group of hot girls ( like on most spanish tv shows I know there are dancers ) some of them even became wrestlers afterwards. It should be no surprise that my favorite was asian dancer Chae An who was notorious for her nippleslips. At least on german tv, I don´t know if it was scrambled in Amerika.

But the hottest Nitro Girl was the leader of the group : Kimberly started out as Diamond Doll, the hot DD chick in the corner of Diamond Dallas Page who distracted his opponent or the judge - whatever was more important. She later married Diamond Dallas Page and it is not known if she was the inspiration for the diamond cutter signature finishing move.

For a time the Nitro Girls were quite popular and there even was a Pay Per View NIRO GIRLS SWIMSUIT CALENDAR SPECIAL which is hard to find.

It featured the regular roster but like a lot of videos to come the most part was making of or interviews and you just got bits and pieces.

Although with Kimberly even these short clips were totally worth it.

Anyway, back to my current adventures in watching female wrestling, if it weren´t for knockouts ( pun very much intended ) like Melina, Alicia Fox

or sexbomb Gail Kim there would be no familiar faces among them.

Or other body parts that look familiar. So when I finally - through some strange luck of the interweb gods - find a page with footage of some matches I just have to make it a priority. You don´t get a lot of real wrestling news here in Germany ( the tv shows are just commercials to sell tour tickets, wrestling magazines and promote the awful German WWE website ) so I´m really not up to date on all that stuff. The last thing I heard was that TnA IMPACT wrestling had gone bancrupt but it seems to be still up and running. Looks like the WWE may have bought it or at least invested in it. And Gail Kim seems to be in the WWE as a Diva AND at TnA IMPACT wrestling at the same time. Who knows this?

Anyway, I´m not complaining since that means I get double the Gail Kim and at TnA at least she can show what she really can do in the ring.

As long as she gives her opponents a taste of " defeet " I don´t care. I know I am not supposed to like her but her tight body just distracts me, like when she ambushed Velvet and her boobs almost fell out of her top.

I don´t know what it is but asian girls are my kryptonite. Now I don´t want to resort to sexual stereotypes but they just have the extra oomph that works better than viagra and makes you hear " Me so horny me love you long time ! " in your head. Gail Kim is a very gifted athlete - and I mean that without any pun - but when I see how worked up she gets in the ring, the fire in her eyes when she plays the heel or the kind of punishment her body can take and especially how flexible she is ....... 

Now the name " Gail " sounds like " geil " the german word for horny. So you can imagine that she´s only known in Germany as die geile Kim ( horny Kim ). Like Kylie Minogue has been christened die Geile Minogue.

Back to Gail Kim, I remember a fight where she stopped her guy ( I think it was that guy from Beer Money ) from beating up his opponent with a bottle by knocking him out. While she was distracted Miss Jaqueline ( who really has to show her huge rack more often ) clobbered her from behind. And while she was getting some hits from her all I could do was stare at Gail´s round bubblebutt while....well, you can guess what I did.

Another reason that it took me so long to start the D - GRUPPE post is that for some strange reason blogger keeps crashing whenever I press the " publish " button so everything I write keeps getting erased. The last few days this was just happening over and over but now I´m going to chance it. The problem is that I totally forgot about it so the next paragraph that took me 30 minutes to write has disappeared and I have already forgotten what I wrote in that paragraph. So, sorry if some of the sentences don´t make too much sense, I´ll try to correct them eventually.

Oh, and for another strange reason my computer keeps on writing " isn´´t " Instead of " isn´t ". What´s up with that ? Anyway, that´s all behind us and the next post will indeed be all about D - Gruppe.

Before we come to the video section of this post the younger readers might want to check out Brian Damage´s post Dirty Dancing : The Sagas of the Nitro Girls on RING THE DAMN BELL that retells their history, and you can find animated GIFs of Gail Kim , Taryn Terell , Velvet Sky , Brooke Tessmacher , Angelina Love and the other TnA knockouts at SHARDWICK .

Our first video is with another one of my favorite Nitro Girls :  Whisper a.k.a. Rebecca Curci which was the one with the biggest boobs.

Next up is the debut of the Nitro Girls from 1997. God, do I feel old now.

And last but not least a clip of the Nitro Girls backstage with Chae An.

And because I don´t know when I will have another opportunity to write about female wrestlers I absolutely MUST include a Debra Michaels video.

Debra always catered to the sexual fantasy of doing it with the horny CEO with the porn star body of your nymphomanic boss with the giant 36DD puppies you could never have. She always used her spectacular boobs to distract the opponent or the referee - whatever was more successful - and her ridiculously skimpy outfits come in every color of the DD rainbow .

Anyway, here´s a nice tribute to Debra and her BFFs : her big puppies.

I can´t end the post without another Gail Kim video so here´s one of her best : the famous last knockout standing match against Taryn Terell.

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