Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Completely inappropriate Yaya Han spin off

Since I have finished my Jim Aparo birthday post I have gotten a few mails calling foul on my re - written part of the post that included hasian Yaya Han and some other cult sirens. So while I don´t want to re - write the post a fourth time I also don´t want to ignore the pleas for the original Yaya Han content and I hope that with this post I can please both sides.

Without further ado we come to the birthdays I missed but covered in previous years - as regular readers of the post already know - and the first one is french cult siren ( quite literally since she has a captivating singing voice ) Alizée for whom I made a post with her best GIFs, videos and info.

Since I actually started writing this post Yesterday I want to include a celebrity birthday from August the 23rd namely australian musician / actor Rick Springfield who turned 68. He was on the first Human Target tv series and on High Tide which I watched religiously because it was a full on babe parade as it had plenty sexbombs guest starring of the caliber of Deborah Shelton, Denise Richards, Lucy Lawless, Tanya Roberts, Tracy Scoggins, Krista Allen, Donna D´Errico, Paula Trickey, Julie Benz, Rochelle Swanson ( who upgrades every movie she stars in with her steamy performances like On The Border or Secret Games 3 and her erotic thriller Mutual Needs is a must see ! ), Shae Marks ( best known for her role in the Andy Sidaris movies Day Of The Warrior and Return To Savage Beach ) or Lisa Boyle .

Now the reason why I included him in this post is that on August 6th Lisa Boyle turned 53 and I had her in my last post but had to cut her because otherwise it would have been too long. So I´m including her Today and I have to call foul on her imdb entry that states she is best known for her roles in Bad Boys, Face / Off, Lost Highway or The Nutty Professor. I did not even know she was in those movies. No, if you know Lisa Boyle it´s either from her pictures in PLAYBOY and the over 25 Playboy magazine Special Editions where she was often paired with Patricia Ford, erotic classics like Midnight Tease, Dreammaster - The Erotic Invader and I Like To Play Games Too or from her recurring role on Married With Children.

She played Fawn, one of Kelly´s bosom buddies - with a huge emphasis on the bosom part - and constantly outshone Christina Applegate like in this scene from the episode Spring Break - Part 1 from season 10 where she really pushed her 35Cs so tightly together in her tiny red bikini top when she´s leaning forward that I totally forgot that Christina was in the shot.

From all of Lisa Boyle´s famous midnight specials I selected Friend of the Family which is the erotic version of Down and Out in Beverly Hills where Shauna O´Brien plays the part of Nick Nolte. She´s the sister of an old friend of the family and during her visit she acts as a sexual catalyst to get the family out of their relationship problems. Lisa plays the rebellious, nymphomanic daughter who gets off on driving her mother crazy by having wild sex - preferably in her Mom´s car. Which is the perfect role for Lisa.

James Caan celebrated his 41st birthday Yesterday and Today it´s Hawaii Five - O co star Alex O´Loughlin´s turn to pass the big four so I want to post a video with both of them. Last year I posted this interview with ET Canada so those that missed it might want to go back to last year´s post.

And is it just me or is ET CANADA´s Erin Cebula hotter than hell in this interview ? I know that reporters are supposed to give the audience an in depth look but this is more than just a brief glimpse into the cleavage of her very revealing dress. Holy hormone stimulation overdrive, Batman !

There is also a longer video with the full version of the interview without the tv clips. The quality is not as good as with the first video but you get to see more of Erin. There´s also an interview transcript with lots of animated GIFs as it seems I´m not the only one smitten with Erin Cebula.

We continue with celebrities I already mentioned in earlier posts or had to cut from my last post as Steve Guttenberg celebrates his 59th birthday. He is best known to Today´s audience for playing corrupt town mayor Woody Goodman on Veronica Mars with bikini cult siren Charisma Carpenter who turned 47 on the 23rd of July. Charisma had her big break as Cordelia Chase on Buffy and the spin off Angel although Today´s kids probably only know her from her recurring role on Veronica Mars which means they missed a lot of scorching bikini scenes from the shows with Charisma´s huge 34Ds.

One of these days I´ll have to get the first season of Veronica Mars to find out how it all started since I came in at the tailend of that season - as usual. Besides Veronica Mars Charisma Carpenter was also in episode 11 of season 5 of Burn Notice where she showed she still delivers the goods .

Coming back to Steve Guttenberg, while he has starred in a plethora of comedies in the 80s and 90s for people from my generation he is Officer Mahoney in the Police Academy movies ( link for Joel Stice´s 10 things you might not know about Police Academy on it´s 30th anniversary ).

After the second part the films became worse with every sequel but were still worth watching for some hot sexbombs like real life Power Girl Leslie Easterbrook who had the most famous scene in Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol in which she emerges from a pool in a wet t - shirt .

She also has a spin - off post that is re - posted most years that used to be in one post together with Janet Jones Gretzky who starred alongside her in Police Academy 5 and Becky Mullen but I had to put it in three separate post because I upgraded it with a lot of animated GIFs. I also wanted to do a new version of Leslie´s post as well as Becky Mullen´s post from last year because there is some new material I already prepared in advance to add.

The post also included 80s cult siren Monique Sluyter and the Tutti Frutti girls but that part got too long and I had to give it a post of its own which I re - posted last year in a new and better version . She was a candidate from my Justice League of America casting series - I cast her as Fire a.k.a. Beatriz da Costa in the Andy Sidaris Special - and before getting her solo post she was also regularly mentioned in the annual re - posts of italian mega soccer MILF Simona Ventura . I wanted to do a new version of her post since there was some new stuff that I wanted to add to it so I´ll have to see if I can get around to do it before her next birthday comes around.

Russ Meyer actress Raven De La Croix turns 70 so I´m adding the part with Uschi Digard I cut from an earlier post. On Halle Berry´s birthday, August 14th the illegitimate child of Russ Meyer and Andy Sidaris, Jim Wynorski celebrated his 67th birthday and among his cineastic oeuvre are such classics like Dinosaur Island, Not Of This Earth with Traci Lords and The Lost Empire with Raven De La Croix. I wrote a bit more about the last one ( and posted two videos ) in my first Justice League Casting Alternates .

On August the 15th world famous Uschi Digard turned 67 and the question is, how does one discuss Uschi ? The extremely busty, tan, always smiling, and endearing on - screen personality appeared in so many films of the 60s and 70s that the litany of her screen credits is only rivaled by the number of aliases she worked under like Ann Biggs, Ushie Plushie or Linda Lolli.

I don´t want to say that Busenwunder Uschi was predestined to work in skin flicks ( you can ask any german guy which word rhymes with Uschi ) but she began to develop extremely big breasts at a very young age. In an interview Uschi recalls : " When I started to develop at 11 I had to strap myself in, because it wasn't seemly to have breasts, and we all wore uniforms. By age 15 I was already a 40DD. " After such a beginning Uschi could only end up in movies but she began, oddly enough, in mainstream, with a cameo in I Love You Alice B. Toklas ! with Peter Sellers. She would do other bits in Hollywood flicks like The Killer Elite, Fuzz and Kentucky Fried Movie in the fake Catholic High School Girls in Trouble trailer.

After supporting parts in Cresse's The Scavengers and a handful of other productions and taking the men’s magazine scene by storm, Uschi Digard made her Meyer debut as the best thing about Cherry, Harry & Raquel !

A silent role in footage added to pad out the picture, she is one of the more memorable aspect of that lesser Meyer movie together with the lascivious Linda Ashton who plays the main character, nurse Cherry.

That´s what I need some sexual healing from a naughty night nurse like Stacy Valentine where no matter how much she knows about medicine you feel already better if you see her. And just wait until she starts with the deepthroat erection inspection to get the daily sperm sample. If I won the lottery big style I would definitely hold auditions for my nurse and I would buy them uniforms that are at least two sizes too small so their tits are hanging out all the time. Of course my dream nurse would not only have the body of a Playmate of the Year and incredible stripper skills.

She also should be well versed in the Kamasutra, tantra sex, nuru massages and all the sex techniques. The best candidate would be a big breasted nymphomanic sexbomb with legs up to her chin who is addicted to oral sex and was fired from her last job at a sperm bank because she was always massaging the client´s hard schlongs with her giant boobs and then deepthroating them without mercy which caused them to squirt all their juices in her throat instead of the special container. Maybe it´s time for some asian salivation and Yaya Han wants to audition with her oriental oral skills. Like the saying goes : life sucks but asian girls deepthroat you dry.

I mean she already did a sexy doctor / nurse cosplay with her Super Sonico costume. Daim, that girl knows how to fill out that uniform and she´s just begging for some asian lubrication. I bet her fiancee was only too eager to play Doctor as the well hung patient who suffers from a severe case of hyperspermia and nymphomanic dicktamer Suckura Deepthroat has to milk his schlong dry of all excess semen. Hashtag " luckiestguyontheplanet ".

Not only does Yaya Han look like she could star in a Russ Meyer movie Super Sonico sounds like a name from a Russ Meyer movie, especially Supervixens where every woman had the word super in her name.

Although it would probably be something a bit more erotic like Super Spermico. Speaking of sperm, as my personal nurse and blow up sex doll Yaya would have to give me at least three daily spongebaths although instead of a sponge Yaya can use her big 40D oppai to massage my boner until I am ready for her patented extreme asian ejaculation escalation.

Of course Yaya Han would also have to wear some special outfits like the one Akira Lane is sporting below. I can just imagine Yaya Han´s king sized XXL breasts with the areolas of the nipples being totally visible in that mesh shirt and her nude butt only covered by a tiny string of dental floss while she is giving me a lapdance before a two hour erection injection.

Now while I intellectually know that Yaya Han will never be in a movie like the ones Russ Meyer produced things are not so bleak for a nude scene in an Andy Sidaris like movie. You say that´s crazy ? Maybe not so much.

First off, she already did an interview in PLAYBOY and now that they have come to their senses and include nude pictures again maybe Yaya wants to do a pictorial while her body is at its peak condition. Her asian persuasion always works and we already know from her Chun Li poses that she is a real pro at spreading her legs. Second, Yaya Han is definitely going in the direction of movies even if she might start out in smaller roles. She has done longer and more elaborated skits at cosplay events as well as guest starred on tv shows and was one of the main attractions of Heroes of Cosplay so maybe she is ready to take the next step. And third and most important, cosplay queen Yaya Han ´s spectacular body was literally made for asian hardcore fornication. Which is not a racial stereotype about asian women being genetically engineered to be perfect sex slaves through centuries of prostitution, just stating the well known fact that she had some extreme asian augmentation done and got herself giant implants.

By the way, speaking of hasian sexbombs and plastic surgery, KPOPMAP has a list of the 7 Hottest Female Idols ( meaning k - pop singers ) Who Don´t Need A Boob Job with some nice animated GIFs of said k - pop singers.

People always say I exaggerate with Yaya Han´s breastsize but according to internet sources she´s a 40D - which to tell the truth does not tell me that much. So she is a 40D but then her cupsize is 36D ? How does this work ? I know that women wear shoes two sizes too small but I would think with breast you would pick a bra that fits, right ? That´s confusing.

Anyway, the consensus seems to be 40D with Yaya Han on most internet pages. Now in centimeters that is 102 which means that keeping in mind she´s only 5 foot 1 ( 155 centimeters, about my height ) most porn stars don´t measure up. I remember there was a girl in PLAYBOY when I was in middle school who was the same height as Yaya Han and she only had a 95 centimeter bust but because of her height she looked like she could easily star in a Russ Meyer movie. And Yaya got 7 centimeters more of boobs !

So far I have only made four solo posts on her although I keep mentioning her on various JLA casting posts and any other involving asian sexbombs like Ava Cadell, Kiana Tom, Akira Lane, Miko Lee, Gail Kim or Minka and I swear the completely SFW BIG YAYA HAN POST is still in the pipeline.

Coming back to Uschi, from 1969, she didn't stop working and encountered just about every major producer and director of the sexploitation scene.

She even worked in hardcore productions but she only appeared in soft scenes. Everyone who worked with Uschi loved her, a rarity in the sexploitation industry, and it's no surprise that she kept many of her co - workers as close friends for many years. Uschi worked with Russ behind - the - scenes more frequently than she did on - camera, acting as associate producer on Meyer's last two films, Up ! and Beneath The Valley of The Ultra - Vixens, before he worked her last nerve and she stormed out of his life for a spell( as he forced many of his friends to do around this time ).

Meyer’s 1976 comedy thriller UP ! was was co - written by Roger Ebert and contains Nazis, lesbianism, rape, buggery, a backwoods sheriff, piranha, kinky sex - and that’s just the first 10 minutes ! The movie offers a lot of very graphic sex scenes which are highly erotic, well photographed and stunningly edited. The female cast members all engage with the outdoor, sunny California countryside, but under a spell of kinetic blankness like sex machines gone wild especially Janet Wood who not only has a name made for porn movies if I ever heard one but also one of the best scenes with her on - screen partner Robert McLane who was a homosexual in real life.

I have read that homosexual actors are sometimes used in straight porn because it´s almost impossible for them to climax during sex with a woman but Janet Wood doesn´t look like a woman who takes no for an answer. So either she is riding him like a woman possessed because she can finally vent all her pent up sexual energy on him or she has worked herself in a frenzy trying to slam - bang him on the straight path again.

Allegedly she was so obsessed with turning him straight again that she used every break on set to get into his trailer - under the pretense that she needed to rehearse some scene - where she immediately started deepthroating him until he was fully erect at which point she continued taming him. After a while the other actors noticed and this turned into a case of If this trailer´s rocking, don´t come knocking. She also botched a few scenes on purpose so she could continue pumping him in front of the camera and he had no choice but to let her use him like a dildo. In any case her nymphomaniac urges obviously got the better of Janet because she has never acknowledged her work in this film over the decades.

Coming back to Uschi, before that she had maybe her all - time best role as SuperSoul, Stuart Lancaster's Austrian mail - order bride who bangs him all over Lancaster's farm ( with loud exaggerated panting and in ludicrous positions ! ), then sets her eyes on Charles Pitts. You get to hear Uschi speak german ( one of the multitude of languages she speaks fluently along with italian and spanish ) and her knack for comedy is undeniable; she also plays a nude telephone operator who speaks dutch ! Another no - show in Jimmy McDonough's Meyer tome, Uschi apparently disappeared.

Though Uschi was a public figure on the Internet back in the late 1990s, selling autographed photos from her own website, the page promptly disappeared a few years later and none of her co - stars, directors or close friends have been able to find her! Wherever Uschi is, I hope she is living well and is very happy and content, because she doubtlessly deserves it.

I´m a horrible person. The Stuttgart ComicCon 2017 was not even two months ago and already I´m breaking all my resolutions to write less offensive stuff about Yaya Han and dial down the asian oversexualisation.

I really tried but in my defense I have to say that since my Mom returned she is binge watching Game of Vikings and the constant assault of people getting maimed, killed, decapitated and raped might have lead to a slight overreaction. At this point all I can do is apologize to Yaya Han and say that it´s all asian admiration. Since I posted quite a number of pictures from her Super Sonico cosplay it´s only fitting to include a video of it.

Man with that pink hair Yaya looks like a character from a hentai video and if she ever changes her mind I´m always open for some asian penetration.

I swear I saw a hasian stripper, it was Yaya Han instead, that´s an asian persuasion and she gave me that monster head. She was swallowing my megarod, tryna to take it full, look like that energy bottle of Red Bull.

Yaya, I´m all over you, black silk hair, sex overdue. Will your Daddy let me come if you said I´m all right ? Would he let you beat it if I prayed five times ? Why you bein a pagan, I hope you know your daughter´s amazin.

Since I have the slight feeling I might have posted the Super Sonico video before I´m including a second one. And just so you can see that it´s no overexaggeration on my part it´s one where Yaya is wearing no cosplay corsages or push up bras and she still is stretching her shirt to the limit. You can almost hear that button screaming in pain and while watching this I expected her giant boobs to pop out any time she takes a deep breath !

Usually I include a Hyuna video after a Yaya Han video but since I posted the animated GIF of Kyungri from Nine Muses as one of the hottest k - pop singers who don´t need a boob job it´s only fair to show her in action. I don´t know why it is called adult ceremony but with the mega raunchy performance of these mind blowing sexbombs it was surely no show for minors and there was a lot of heavy asian masturbation in the audience.

Our last video is kind of a hint for Yaya Han´s next cosplays or movie roles since I still hope to see her in a similar compilation video in the future.

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