Thursday, June 13, 2019

Of supermen, swamp monsters and bikinis

Gathering certain parts of the post addendum that I like to include in my posts can be difficult sometimes because they do not always fall into one category. But in others cases as in this one it can be quite simple since most of it has a connection to DC Comics. It has been a while since I wrote about the Man of Steel so I wanted to seize the opportunity to revisit the Man of Tomorrow with Ivan Reis from Brazil who turned 43 on June the 11th and who is the artist on Brian Michael Bendis SUPERMAN.


I first took notice of his art when he was working on Lady Death for Chaos Comics and longtime readers of the blog may remember how excited I was when he took over Green Lantern. Back in the day I wrote that DC should make sure they keep this guy and I do not know if the big DC execs really read my blog of if it´s just a coincidence but he has stayed with the company until now working on such big event stories like Blackest Night.

Of course he also did a lot of stuff during the New 52 period ( how glad on a scale from one to ten are you that it´s finally over ? I always said we were going to get through this train wreck ) which made it difficult for me to get the same kick out of the comic books he draws actually like before.


Nevertheless I wrote a special Ivan Reis birthday post but I don´t have enough material to warrant a new post and I haven´t yet read anything of the new Superman book by Brian Michael Bendis for which he is doing the art. I have seen some great reviews of it as well as some catastrophic ones so I am going to wait a little longer with checking those out. From what I have seen the art looks great as usual but as long as the jury´s out on whether it is really worth it I have enough reading material on my plate.


That said there are a few familiar faces that seem to pop up in the series but I still have my reservations. Crayton below seems to like it but as always Brian Michael Bendis is not that good dealing with a continuity he did not create. So it will probably be him creating his own new continuity - which a lot of new writers do when they come onto the Superman titles - instead of something like Grant Morrison´s epic ALL STAR SUPERMAN where he used all the best parts of the Superman lore to remind readers why this strange visitor has captured our imaginations for over 80 years.



We are staying in the realm of DC Comics with buxom brunette Adrienne Barbeau who celebrated her 74th birthday and who has been in such cult movies like ex - husband John Carpenter´s Escape From New York and The Fog and the first Swamp Thing movie which I prefer to the second one.


I know that there are people who like the second one better because of the overall campy atmosphere and the better special effects but give me Adrienne Barbeau over Heather Locklear any day. Granted, they had Penthouse Pet of the Month Monique Gabrielle in the second one who catapulted herself into the top ranks of cult sirens with her performance in Emanuelle 5 but they didn´t give her much to do. Would it have hurt so much to have a scene where the two annoying boys we have to stand the whole movie peek at her naked ? Or at least let her wander around in her underwear or a bikini. What a blatant misuse of grade - a babe material.


Speaking of which, while Adrienne Barbeau appears in Creepshow her performance is sadly not as sexy as in Cannonball Run where she played one of the Lamborghini Babes and her main function was to show her deep cleavage as often as possible. Now that director knows his job.


Which doesn´t work on this hot lady cop played by Valerie Perrine whom some may remember as Lex Luthor´s aide / sexbomb / sex slave ( ? ) Miss Teschmacher from the first two SUPERMAN movies ( a lot of people forget that she reprised her role in the second movie ). Valerie Perrine not only appeared nude in PLAYBOY, the 39B blow up sex doll was also the first actress to purposely display herself nude on american television. Which is why compared to her all other versions of Miss Teschmacher are a joke.


Speaking about Cannonball Run, one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .



Now if you have seen Cannonball Run you will remember the hot waitress with the extra - large double whoppers in the opening scene whose name is not in the opening credits, in the end credits or on any internet page ( and believe me fella, I´ve looked ). Well, just recently I found a clip with some scenes of Farrah Fawcett from the movie and her scene is also in there. So far I just called her The Busenwunder Waitress but now I can tell you that her real name is Vickie Reigle. Now in Germany Vickie is not really a good name for a woman - just ask german singer Nikki who had to suffer a lot of dirty jokes because of her name ( what rhymes with " Nikki ? " ).


Adrienne Barbeau was destined for boob fame from the moment she began her career as a go go dancer for the mob and in the Off Broadway nudie musical Stag Movie thanks to her 36D - 25 - 36 measurements.


She had the biggest boobs on sitcom tv during the 70s when she played the daughter of Bea Arthur´s tit - ular firebrand on Maude where the small screen could barely contain her huge melons in such episodes like The New Housekeeper , Walter´s Ethics , Walter´s Crisis , The Slumlord , Carol´s Promotion , The Election , Maude´s Facelift but especially The Case of the Broken Punch Bowl and Maude´s Big Decision and I´ve never seen so much bouncing action on prime time tv as in Maude´s Musical .


As Adrienne Barbeau recalls : " What I didn´t know was that when I said my lines I was usually walking down a flight of stairs and no one was even listening to me. They were just watching my giant breasts precede me. "


The ultra bosomy brunette was also cast in numerous made - for - tv films and guest appearances on cleavage - enhanced shows show as The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Valentine Magic on Love Island as well as a very memorable braless dash on Battle of the Network Stars . In her biography Adrienne claims : " I actually thought CBS asked me to be on Battle of the Network Stars because they thought I was athletic. My husband clued me in : who cared if I won the race, as long as my tits bounced when I ran. "


The popularity of Barbeau´s 1978 cheesecake poster confirmed her status as a sex symbol. While reviewers have sometimes criticized her acting ability, Barbeau´s popularity stemmed partly from what critic Joe Bob Briggs referred to as the " two enormous talents on that woman " and her typecasting as a " tough broad ". Barbeau refused offers to appear topless in PLAYBOY, although she has appeared nude in High Society, films and Off Broadway plays. Despite her initial success, she said at the time that she thought of Hollywood as a " flesh market " and that she´d rather appear in films that " explore the human condition " and which " deal with issues ".


I was thinking about which Adrienne Barbeau video would be appropriate for this post when I came upon one of the earlier mentioned made - for - tv skin flicks, in this case The Great Houdini from 1976 who counts the all too short topless scenes of Adrienne Barbeau as one of its saving graces.


The other is that it counts amongst its cast such illustrious actors like Paul Michael Glaser ( best known as Dave Starsky on Starsky & Hutch ), Bill Bixby ( best known as Dr. David Banner on The Incredible Hulk ) and Peter Cushing known from a variety of roles from Sherlock Holmes to Doctor Van Helsing and Baron Victor Frankenstein in a plethora of Hammer movies to Grand Moff Tarkin in the original Star Wars movie. As coincidences would have it Peter Cushing´s anniversary was just on the 26th of last month.



Because the movie is rather old the picture quality in the clip with Adrienne Barbeau´s best scenes above is not that high but for those of my faithful readers that are not deterred by that here is the full movie.



Returning to DC Comics on June the 12th we had the anniversary of the late great Len Wein who also has one post on the blog dedicated to him.

When I wrote the post in 2016 Len Wein was still alive but I am glad I got to give props to one of the greats in his time. He has done everything, from writing classic moments in comic history like the first appearance of Wolverine or the new X - Men team for that matter ( people forget that he got the book started and then handed it over to Chris Claremont ), or the iconic Swamp Thing series with Bernie Wrightson. He also edited THE NEW TEEN TITANS by Marv Wolfman , George Perez and Romeo Tanghal.


I always wanted to do a proper Swamp Thing post but it´s still difficult for me to compute that Bernie Wrightson is no longer with us. As is Len Wein now. It seems like all the great comic book creators of my youth are slowly fading away or not being used in comics anymore because of the SJWs and I don´t know what´s worse. Which I´m mentioning just to give you an idea what made me think about trying to make comic books myself again.


Since we are on the subject of SWAMP THING I wanted to post the trailer for the new tv show. I don´t know why DC nixxed the series after the first season but the episodes I have seen so far look really good. It seems they are going back to the original vision of Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson on this one but I wouldn´t be too surprised if they included some things from Alan Moore´s acclaimed run of Swampy just to throw the audience off.



We are making a small detour to the other side of the street with Kat " Double D " Dennings who turned 33 on June the 13th. She is best known for providing the two breast reasons to watch 2 Broke Girls and the Thor movies where she appeared alongside Stellan Skarsgard who plays Erik Selvig and oddly enough celebrated his 68th birthday on the same day.


When I did my first posts on Kat she had done her first Thor movie and 2 Broke Girls had just finished its season one. Now that show took off even if she didn´t show off her magnificent 38DDs as often as she could have.


I´m never quite sure on which season I am, I think I started with season five but it has been so long I´ll have to start from the first episode again.



Speaking of tv cult sirens with huge DD boobs, originally I didn´t want to mention Ashley and Mary - Kate Olsen, who also turned 33 but I have to thank them for bringing mega stacked Jodie Sweetin to my attention.


Three years ago I had no idea who she was since I had not seen that many episodes of Full House but thanks to all the brouhaha about how she puts the fuller part in Fuller House with her 36DDs and parent groups dissing the reboot because of references to sex and drugs - and because of Jodie Sweetin´s ├╝berdeveloped chest which is totally inappropriate for family viewing - I am aware of this. One of these days I have to start watching the episodes if there is really so much inappropriate boobage in them.



And we are staying at the 80s with Tim Allen who celebrated his 66th birthday and who is best known as the voice of Buzz Lightyear in the Toy Story movies and Home Improvement where he introduced us to some pretty hot women like Pamela Anderson and Debbe Dunning. I still have seasons 6 and 7 of Home Improvement on my to watch pile and I admit I only got them because of Debbe Dunning´s incredible muscle control .


Debbe Dunning was destined to become a sex symbol as the double D is not only in her name. I cast her as Knockout in my JLA Redux post and she is also a top contender for the Top Ten Jessica Rabbit Lookalike Babes.


Debbe first had a guest appearance with a name that´s impossible to pronounce and a stunning blue dress before she became a permanent cast member, taking up the mantle of Pamela thanks to her bikini hardbody.


Pam is always portrayed as a dumb blonde but she and Debbe Dunning had the same starting conditions. Which were a certain degree of fame due to exposure on shows like Baywatch and Home Improvement and a body that could cause the number of sold copies of men´s magazines to skyrocket .


Still somehow Pamela has managed to make a successful career out of it while Debbe´s artistic highlight is Jessica Rabbit in Misery Brothers.



The most famous of a veritable plethora of incredibly hot women that went through the revolving casting doors of BAYWATCH is without any doubt Pamela Anderson and it is beyond belief that so far I have only mentioned her in the first ever Casting the Justice League of America movie post where I naturally cast her as Power Girl ( a role she was born to play ). Because Pam An was not only the very first candidate in my hugely popular SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL series over at my old boob - centric blog.


No, she also is on my TOP TEN MOVIE STRIPTEASE list thanks to her boner inducing wet & wild opening scene from the movie adaption of Dark Horse Comics BARB WIRE. Most of this was cut off in the german version which is one of the reason why the movie flopped so much in movie theaters while the video cassette of the original US version became such a huge success.


Anyway, I still intend to do posts for all of the striptease babes on my list but every year I have to postpone Pamela Anderson´s cult siren entry.


And for more on such baywatchable babes like Erika Eleniak ( who is of course most famous for her incredibly steamy striptease in UNDER SIEGE ), Krista Allen ( best remembered for getting her freak on as french blow up sex doll EMANUELLE in 8 made for tv movies ) or natural born go go dancer Carmen Elektra check out my latest BAYWATCH SPIN - OFF POSTS.


It has been a while since I posted a bikini contest video but you can´t mention Baywatch without some bikini sexbombs from the 90s. Both Baywatch and bikini contests were the biggest 90s ratings successes.


This may be a re - post but for this occassion I picked the California Girl Bikini Contest 14 not only because it´s one of the few that´s in good quality but also because it features the Bikini Open All Stars. In this contest you can see such familiar blow up sex dolls like Mercedes above , busty blonde Pamela Brown or Brooke Thompson and in her case things could get confusing because she sometimes started under the name of Brooke and other times under the name Brandi , Bridget or Michelle. But while you could get her names mixed up there was no mistaking that hardbody. These are the kind of women movements I can´t get enough of.



As usual this was just my random and completely personal selection and you can find more celebrity birthdays from the 13th of June in this post .

Since I have mentioned her in the post I wanted to include a video with german Schlagerstar Nicki. This is one of her live appearances from the period when her booming teenage bust began to stretch out her tops and her perfectly sculpted bubblebutt made her jeans fit all that tighter. What had begun as kind of a lame joke became more serious as every guy tried to get her drunk enough to break the bavarian cowgirl in like a breeding mare in heat and find out once and for all what rhymes best with Nicki.



Because I mentioned The New Teens Titans in this post Today´s cartoon video is about the adaption of their most famous storyline in the first cartoon show. I know that they also did a more recent one as an animated movie but that one was so bad that I don´t think we need to address it.


Right now it looks like the next episodes of Young Justice is laying the seeds for this and I´m sure that when the live action Titans series ever finishes introducing the main characters they may also do another version of it. So I´m sure we will go back to the fountain on this blog even if it is only in my long postponed DEATH IN COMICS : THE DEATH OF TERRA post.



As we already have one full movie in this post and I wanted to include something for the horror flick fans here is a review of Highway To Hell.

Although to tell the truth, the main reason why I watched Brandon´s Cult Movie Review also has to do with music and big boobs. Because singing hard rock sexbomb Lita Ford provides the erotic highlight of the movie with her busty cameo appearance as a horny hitchhiker. She is almost sexually assaulting the main character ( I can just picture her dragging him to the backseat to milk his boner dry ) and when he asks her what the quickest way to hell is she answers : " Sex, drugs and rock´ n roll. " Man, if I was the guy in the movie I would have lost it there and then and this time I would be the one to drag her to the backseat. I don´t know about drugs since they can have a negative effect on your sexual performance but I wouldn´t mind having some sex with this rock n´ roll babe and come between her big bongos. She became famous for a different kind of oral performance but I´m sure Lita knows how to put the SUCK in succubus !


Apart from that it may not be the greatest horror movie you will watch but it is a very entertaining one and an overlooked gem that has a lot of neat ideas and black humor. And if I have not made it clear enough, bra busting Lita Ford´s cameo appearance as a megahorny, nymphomanic, sex - starved oral hitchhiker from hell alone is worth the price of admission.



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The road to hell might be paved with good intentions - but it´s still the road to hell.

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