However that almost never happens so I am glad that I can finally pay homage to one of the big anthology comics of my misspent youth.
I´m of course talking about KOBRA, a german comic magazine that reprinted various british series which were more often than not drawn by european artists. In this case it´s THE STEEL CLAW written by Ken Bulmer and Tom Tully and drawn by spanish artist Jesús Blasco who is relatively unknown in the United States. In Europe that´s slightly different since his comic series CUTO, ANITA DIMINUTA or BUFFALO BILL are well known. He even worked on 20000 AD´s INVASION with Pat Mills. He is best known in Spain, not only because that´s his tierra but also because he co - created CAPITAN TRUENO which is one of the three most famous classic spanish comic series together with EL GUERRERO DEL ANTIFAZ and EL JABATO.
Anyway, coming back to THE STEEL CLAW - or how it was called in german THE IRON HAND ( Die Eiserne Hand ) - it had an unusual protagonist as Louis Crandall started out as a villain. I don´t know if that was a trend in British comics at that time but a lot of the lead characters like THE SPIDER fought on the wrong side of the law. Louis Crandall was the assistant to scientist Professor Barringer and when we first meet him he thinks the professor is stupid not to use his inventions for his own personal gain.
Of course the usual lab accident happens ( you have to ask why there are never enough security measures to prevent them but on the other side without them we would have no story and I think it is realistic that it was hard for scientists back then to get enough funding to work properly ) and the steel claw gets attached to Louis Crandall, making him invisible and granting him extra strength whenever he gets an electric shock.
Which must have made it real popular with all the concerned parent associations. I mean, which boy wouldn´t want to be invisible to get away with all kind of things - from getting a little extra snack from the cookie jar to taking a peek at the busty older cousin under the shower which gives you a strange feeling in your pants ? And all it takes is a bit of electricity. Yeah, I bet this comic was really popular with the parents.
Anyway, unlike the protagonists in superhero comics Louis Crandall used his newfound powers to steal and became a psychotic criminal. It was later retconned that the accident which made it possible for him to become invisible made him temporally insane and after he regained his sanity he decided to use his abilities to fight crime. He joined the British secret service and espionage agency The Shadow Squad and his steel claw was souped up with a variety of weapons and useful tools in each finger.
One of the reasons why I wanted to do this post now - instead of having to wait until Jesus Blasco´s next anniversary comes around in November - is that I read something on facebook where two guys were dissing the old KOBRA comics and especially the art. Now mind you, I have no illusions that this is Shakespeareian quality material as this was cheap work - for - hire, get - it - done - as - fast - as - possible and disposable four colored entertainment. On the other hand the same can be said about Stan Lee and Jack Kirby´s FANTASTIC FOUR and there are millions of comicbook afficionados who would put it on the same cultural level as the finest art.
I really had thought we are beyond the point where we - especially fans of comicbooks - stop rating the value of art depending of its original purpose. Well it seems I was mistaken. So to balance the scores a bit - and because I still have enough material for a Jesus Blasco post if we all make it to November - I have decided to do my first post on THE STEEL CLAW.
This will be a different BLACK AND WHITE post because there is no colored art because this was printed in black and white. Which is another reason for making this post. In Today´s comicbook industry color is seen as the non plus ultra - even if the wrong coloring can destroy or at least obscure the original art as we have seen in our last post - which I think is not true.
As for my own comicbook collection, I don´t think I have many original KOBRA issues left after the big purge but I have managed to get a hardcover of THE STEEL CLAW and THE SPIDER ( which I still have to read ) via amazon and the two books are among my most prized possessions.
I have not written a lot about The Steel Claw because I only know what I read in Kobra ( which was decades ago ) but thankful there are a lot of comic historians on the net who can help out when you are in a pickle.
Now the movie The Steel Claw from 1961 does not have anything to do with the comicbook of the same name but it was the first thing that came up on YouTube and I reckon most of my followers never heard of this film.
Man, it really seems that I can´t do a post without mentioning a celebrity birthday and Today it´s austrian actress and fashion model Sandra Hess who turned 52 on March the 27th. In Sandra´s case it is especially nerve wrecking that I completely forgot her anniversary because I found a clip with her just a few days before and naturally I looked her up and made a mental note to mention her in the bonus section because her birthday was just a few days away. And then I somehow completely blanked on it.
Which can happen when you have to deal with all this life stuff because of the corona lockdown. Anyway, Sandra was born in Zurich, Switzerland and besides german and swiss - german she speaks english, a little italian and is extremely satisfying at french. She also speaks french. She began modeling and working on television commercials when she was just 15 years old.
After completing high school, she entered the University of Zurich to study law but quickly decided it wasn't the right direction for her. She came alone to the US to pursue an acting career. Once settled in Los Angeles, she began taking acting classes. Her first break was in the hit comedy Encino Man ( 1992 ), playing a cavewoman to Brendan Fraser's caveman character. She later landed the lead role of Sonya Blade in the Mortal Kombat 2 : Annihilation sequel ( 1997 ) where she provides the two breast reasons to watch the movie with her 38B - 24 - 35 measurements.
She enjoyed the action aspects of that project and, since then, has found herself happily cast in other action roles and guest spots in SeaQuest 2032 ( 1993 ). Sandra has been a regular on Pensacola : Wings of Gold ( 1997 ), where she plays Alexandra " Ice " Jensen, one of the few women in the squadron and a member of the Nuggets with the " Sharpshooters." In her infrequent free time, she enjoys yoga, working out, and hiking with Gracie, a stray dog she saved from the streets of Los Angeles.
She also appeared on High Tide - which I also mentioned in my X - MEN WEEK post with Greg Capullo , Highlander, Gargoyle - not the cartoon but one of the many trashy movies with that title, NCIS, the Nick Fury : Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. tv movie with David Hasselhoff, Baywatch Nights also with David Hasselhoff and 34C - 24 - 34 Playmate Of The Month in September 1995 Donna D´Errico who played blonde beachbody Donna Marco about whom I wrote a very long part in my X - MEN WEEK post with Greg Capullo.
In the post I also wrote about The Human Target ( The comic and the tv shows, and I didn´t even mention that in the latest tv adaption Lee Majors played the original Christopher Chance - who was on one of my all time favorite tv shows The Fall Guy with 90s Power Girl Markie Post and Heather Thomas ) and some people have commented that I always drag up these old comicbook characters nobody but me cares about anymore.
Longtime readers know that while Markie Post was practically in everything that was on tv in the 70s and 80s she became one of my ultimate sex phantasies on the show The Fall Guy which every male that was alive in the 80s remembers - and we will get to the reason why.
THERE`S SOMETHING ABOUT HEATHER THOMAS - AND HER BLUE BIKINI
But The Fall Guy didn´t just have 80s Power Girl Markie Post they also put blonde bombshell Heather Thomas in the show right from the beginning.
She played stunt body double ( and what a body it was ) Jody and her job was to keep the male viewers hooked by providing eye candy. She was in all episodes except for an episode in the first season. Yes, fan service is not as new as some people might want you to think and Heather Thomas mainly got the part because of her absolutely amazing bikini figure. OMG !
Like most growing teenagers I watched that show religiously but the biggest part of its appeal for me were sexbombs like Heather Thomas and Markie Post who didn´t appear as often in a bikini as I would have liked.
Well, Heather Thomas did since that was her main purpose on the show but Markie Post´s appearances in bikinis on The Fall Guy were very few.
I AM SUFFERING FROM ( MARKIE ) POST TRAUMATIC SEX SYNDROME !
Markie Post played bail bonds contractor Terri Michaels ( who replaced previous bail bonds contractor Samantha Jack played by Jo Ann Pflug ) beginning with Season 2 and at the beginning she played a minor role.
But Markie Post knew that she was destined to super stardom, so when the opportunity arose that one of the producers of the show who was a bit smitten with Markie appeared on the set she managed to set up a few meetings - just to discuss her role of course. Even though he claimed to be happily married the business meetings turned into private meetings which were then relocated to a secret no - tell motel where Markie used her relentless body and her natural ability to spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker to give the lucky guy who was hung like a horse a Kama Sutra crash course with more than the twenty two positions in a one night stand including some sexual practices that are illegal in fourteen states.
After Markie had successfully dicktamed the guy six ways to Sunday during these weekend long squirt marathons he was only too eager to convince the rest of the guys in charge what a complete waste it would be to have somebody like Markie on the cast without letting her " show off what her Mama gave her " like they say Today and the rest is 80s tv history. So Markie got more involved in the stories where she stole the scene from Heather Thomas as soon as she donned a bikini ( mainly in season three ).
Coming back to Heather Thomas, thanks to her absolutely stunning 37 ( ! ) - 23 - 32 measurements and the exposure in The Fall Guy she became a famous pin up model with posters on every hormone driven boy's bedroom wall who even managed to replace Raquel Welch on the number one spot !
80s Power Girl Markie Post is probably the best known cult siren on the blog because not only have I done many re - posts of her original post .
I also keep mentioning her in other posts and her original post is in the Top Ten Posts widget that appears on every post. Since I have done so many different versions it is not so tragic that I did not do a re - post last year even though I did the last version of her cult siren entry in 2016 .
Well, besides the fact that the Human Target appeared a few times on the Arrow show I am also currently reading the third volume of TALES OF THE BATMAN : GERRY CONWAY and in the storyline where Batman turns into a vampire ( which happened actually a few times throughout his history ) Alfred hires Christopher Chance to impersonate Bruce Wayne because Vicky Vale has photographic proof that Bruce Wayne is Batman ( of course he doesn´t tell him that instead he hires him under the pretense that somebody tries to kill Bruce Wayne - which later on really happens ).
The whole thing ends with a three way melee between Deadshot, Batman and fake Bruce Wayne that convinces Vicky Vale that Bruce Wayne and Batman are two different persons. Man, I never understood why these female reporters always try to expose the heroes identities. I mean, even if they don´t have any personal problems because they are romantically involved with the heroes alter ego what do they gain from exposing his secret ? In the best case somebody who was really trying to make a difference has to quit the superhero business so they can make a quick buck while under the worst circumstances the reporter is responsible for the death of a hero, the decimation of a city or the destruction of the entire universe. I guess whoever writes these stories has had some experience with reporters who do everything to get a story. Well, besides these old comicbook tropes the art is done wonderfully by Don Newton.
Back when I got the TALES OF THE BATMAN : DON NEWTON hardback I was really miffed because they didn´t put a lot of his stories in it and I didn´t think they were going to make a second volume. Well now it seems that they already had everything worked out and were saving the biggest part of Don Newton´s oeuvre on the Bat - titles for the Gerry Conway books.
Staying with DC Comics, Sandra Hess also guest - starred on Lois & Clark - The New Adventures of Superman with terrific tittilating Teri Hatcher.
Teri played the BEST Lois Lane on tv so far and was the first actress who made it believable that Superman would choose her over the ultimate sex bombs in the Justice League of America like Big Barda or Wonder Woman.
While there were a lot of hot women on the show Teri clearly was the main attraction showing off her bouncing boobies in a lot of sexy outfits.
Teri also was on Desperate Housewives where she showed she still looked rack - tastic and who can forget the famous " I´m not a stripper ! " scene ?
Check out my last post on cult siren Teri Hatcher to read more about her comic book connections like her appearance in Tales From The Crypt or Tango & Cash where she showed her incredible body and dancing skills.
Now the last thing I have to mention in connection with Sandra Hess ( before I have to take a brake because I can barely keep my eyes open ) besides the fact that she really knows how to spread her legs better than a fillipino prostitute is that she also appeared on Sliders alongside 36C - 24 - 33 born for porn actress Kari Wuhrer who puts the fucktion in science.
She was put on the cast as the boner guarantee for the male audience and they got more than their money´s worth in the Wild West episode where her big melons are almost spilling out of her snug saloon girl corsage.
Now the attentive blog reader may have noticed that it wasn´t that long ago that Kari Wuhrer graced this section so you may ask yourself why I deemed this encore presentation necessary. The reason for that is that while I made three new GIFs of Kari I also forgot to mention something.
When I cast Kari Wuhrer as Gypsy in my Casting the Justice League movie series she hadn´t appeared on The Flash. So when I chose Kari for that role Gypsy´s super powers did not include vibing between dimensions but when people read it now they might get the impression that I chose her because of the tv show where she was sliding between the dimensions.
Kari also was in Hot Blooded, a really bad movie that doesn`t even have full frontal nudity. Nevertheless it´s one of my favorite movies with Kari because she looks really hot in this one. You get to see a lot of cleavage and boobs and in the first sex scene on the bed you can see her sexy ass.
And because one scene where she´s at a gas station and pulls down her leather top to make the desk clerk horny. She´s really pulling it in all directions so you get to see her full boobs. I have no evidence but I swear I can see some nipple. I bet Kari had to do this scene a hundred times as the crew was sabotaging all takes just to see her boobs again and again.
In any case, I had this scene on a video tape on a loop and I must have heard the words " This material just doesn´t breathe ! " a hundred times.
Like I said there is no full frontal nudity in this cineastic masterpiece but you get a bit of sideboob in a scene that was heavily cut on german tv.
They cut parts from when she´s using a whip to get into the mood and pours hot wax on his body. They also cut some parts from where she´s on top of him which I didn´t know until I found the movie on the internet.
Damn you, german tv for keeping Kari Wuhrer´s sideboob away from me !
Shooting this scene took a whole week because Kari´s on screen partner Kristoffer Ryan Winters - understandably - got a huge erection every time the blow up sex doll rubbed her naked breasts all over him ( especially when her nipples were hard ) and climaxed before the end of the scene.
The lucky stiff ( in every sense of the word ) was so smitten with Kari that he agreed to not getting paid during the filming of the scene and even slipped director David Blyth some cash so he wouldn´t stop shooting. In the end Kari found out what was happening and almost fucked Kristoffer into a coma during a weekend long non - stop marathon sex orgy where she made him squirt his load so many times that he couldn´t get it up.
The next day they resumed shooting the scene and luckily they nailed it ( no pun intended ) with the third take because by the fourth Kari´s perky porn puppies had gotten Kristoffer hard enough to cut a diamond again.
One last thing about Hot Blooded - which is called Black Leather, Hot Blood II in Germany - it is sometimes billed as Red - Blooded American Girl II even though it has no connection to the first Red - Blooded American Girl. The only reason why I am mentioning this is that the main female lead in the first one was Heather Thomas. You see, it´s all connected in this section. And if you thought that watching Hot Blooded was a waste of time don´t bother with Red - Blooded American Girl. At least we get a somewhat naked Kari Wuhrer in Hot Blooded and while the plot doesn´t make a lot of sense at least it´s simple and the movie is entertaining.
As always here are a few videos about some of the things I mentioned in the post. We start with the only good thing in movies or tv that has worn the name Gargoyles. To paraphrase a certain martial arts master from a now long forgotten 80s action movie I featured just recently : " Those other Gargoyles movies are just shadows. Disney´s Gargoyles is the sun. "
Coming back to comicbooks for a moment, another serial that appeared in Kobra was The Rise And Fall Of The Trigan Empire - or how it was later shortened to The Trigan Empire - by Mike Butterworth and Don Lawrence.
The comic was a big pull for readers but how much of a success it really had become was something Don Lawrence found out when he attended his first comic convention in London in 1976 where he learned that it was syndicated all over Europe. Naturally he went to his publisher and when they refused to give him the adequate royalties or any other kind of compensation he quit and started to work for the dutch comic magazine Eppo where his new sci fi comic Storm became another huge success.
David Hasselhoff and Baywatch have come up a lot in my latest posts so here is a video to remind readers outside of Germany that besides being on Knight Rider and Baywatch he also had a huge music career over here.
There also was the already mentioned Nick Fury : Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. tv movie although I am not sure if that had a positive impact on his career or it was ever shown on german tv since the germans were again the bad guys. And while the movie has its own charme - plus the original white Nick Fury ( yes, before the Marvel cinematic universe Nick Fury was a white dude ) - the tv show we finally got is so much better. And I´m not only saying that because of sexbombs Ming - Na Wen and Chloe Bennet .
Recently I have binge watched the first four seasons of Marvel´s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. because I had always hoped to do it with my late brother.
We started watching it together when it first started but somewhere along the first season he lost interest. I always bought him a complete season as a Christmas gift in the hopes that would pique his interest because I think he would have really liked it. Anyway, unlike shows like Lucky Man where so much happens in an episode that you have to take a break at least every two episodes to digest it all Marvel´s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is perfect for binge watching. The only problem is that the seasons after season four are still not available on DVD here in Germany.
Yup, there actually is a cheesy movie with the word " claw " in the title.
Reading this section you might get the impression that I don´t like living in Germany but while there are a few negative things there are also tons of benefits and I don´t know if I could live anywhere else in the world.
New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
Talk to the hand.
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