new reads

Finally I have the chance to finish my post from Yesterday. My brother has not only taken to staying glued for hours to the computer screen he also has the annoying habit to shut down the computer before someone else uses it. So that while he can have it going for hours as long as he´s on it everytime someone else uses it that person has to restart it. But hey - it´s not like I have not enough time to post a single entry in the few minutes I manage to get on the thing. But enough of the unpleasant other offspring of my family since this blog is about comics. Well, comics and ME.

Now I did not write this post in one sitting. Again. Because I have been busy with all the preparations for Erlangen and everything else. So I am beginning to write this on the night of Thursday to Friday from midnight to....exactly 02.09 in the morning. From which I had to take a break and now am putting the finishing touches on as of Friday 16.31 hours. So let´s get right to the reviews :Squadron Supreme 3 - Very good issue. The resolution of the fight between the two fractions of the team was not like expected and we learned more about the new members on the team. And the little voice in the back of my head wondering how the uncut version of this issue might have been keeps getting lower. But it´s still there.

All Star Batman & Robin 4 - This issue went by too quick as six pages were wasted for the whole fold out spread. Don´t get me wrong, I like it if artists try new things. But this is not a new thing, it has been done before ( in the WildC.A.T.S. series by Mr. Jim Lee himself )and I don´t think it was necessary. I don´t understand what has been shown here that could not be shown in a normal double page spread. So reading the issue I was thinking the whole time what could have happened in those lost four pages. Apart from that a very good read although I´m still a bit surprised about how slow the story unfolds.

When I first read about the project it was said that this would be about Robin experiencing Batman at the height of his career with all the available women of the DC universe thrown in. At the pace the story goes we won´t see Robin in costume before issue 11. An so far we have only seen Vicky Vale and Black Canary with Wonder Woman appearing in the next issues soon. Well, with luck Catwoman or Zatanna will make an appearance before the series is over.

Yes, I know.....bitch, bitch, bitch......anyway, I´m still reading the book and I hope issue 5 will be better ( or more to my personal liking - maybe there are thousands of fans who loved the six page spread ) .

52 week 1 - 3 - So this is the big event between Infinite Crisis and One Year Later. It seems that history is not unfolding as Booster Gold expected it. Which in my opinion might be because he altered the outcome of Batman´s battle against the OMAC satellite helping him find it. Therefore a shift happens in the time - pace - continuum and what began as small divergencies become greater differences between what should have been and what is. But I could be wrong. So far I really like the idea of bringing characters like Black Adam and the Question to the forefront of the series. I mean with all the fan interest in The Question ( which primarily has to be credited to the Justice League Unlimited cartoon series ) DC would be stupid not to capitalize on that. And it is an interesting character. The art is not bad and better than on other " event books " that have come out.

Wolverine 42 - I´m so glad I kept this book on my pull list. Now, as you may remember ( if you have read the previous posts ) I had doubts about the future of this series. Especially since the strange art in the last issue. But since the restart the stories have all been top notch as has the art. So I decided to give it a chance since it has done all right by me so far. And I wasn´t disappointed. I don´t know who this Guggenheim guy is ( or if he´s related to the famous museum ) or what he has done so far but this guy can write Wolverine like nobody´s business. He nailed the character in one issue. Just perfect characterisation.

From Wolverine anticipating the reactions of the public regarding the mutants in the whole civil war mess, to his dialogue with Luke Cage and especially Wolvie giving Luke the wake up call....that´s just Wolverine gold. The comparison between Sentinels and burning crosses was pure genius and also the hint that logan is old enough to know the results of racism during the third reich firsthand. It´s just so typical that he has to go off on his own to bring Nitro to justice. This issue has the best dialogue in a long time. Especially the last page says it all. One of the top books of the month. I can´t wait to see what happens next.

Wolverine 42

She Hulk 8 - I liked this issue much better than the last. Not only was the art by Paul Smith gorgeous like always but the story was well crafted. It just is sad that a talented writer like Dan Slott keeps getting cancelled with books like THING which was quickly becoming a favorite of mine. But more on this when I will write about issue 7 of the Thing. Like Wolverine 42 you don´t have to read this issue to understand CIVIL WAR but it fills out a small part of the bigger picture. Namely what happens now with the remaining members of the New Warriors.

It was really tragic ( and very realistic ) that the family members of the victims had learned nothing from their own loss and just were causing more death and misery. It´s a vicious circle of destruction and blaming others when all you want is revenge and basically an eye for an eye. But sometimes people are so focused on getting their revenge that they don´t realize that they have become the very thing they hate. A good issue.

Now my brother didn´t like the art by the new artist Paul Smith so I will ask him if he intends to keep the series. If not I would put it on my pull list. Before I forget to mention it I really liked the quick cameo by Captain America who has a history with Jen´s possible husband. Nice use of the character´s continuity ( see, that´s how you use it ) and a very good characterisation which helped to remind the readers that Cap has experience with wars. He´s probably the most prepared for what will soon sweep over the Marvel Universe.

Aquaman Sword of Arlantis 40 - 42 - This series did not appear on my pull list and I only bought this issues because I saw them in the comic shop and the art looked soo good. The story was interesting so far and it still has not been revealed what exactly is going on. Who is this guy ? Is he Aquaman or not ? And if not then why are there so many similarities between them ? How are they related ? Man, I just love a good mistery. I think my nose is beginning to twitch. Or does it just itch ?

Butch Guice is one of the few artists who has successfully managed the jump from my " artists who get me to cancel books " list ( back when he started on Action Comics ) to my " artists who get me to subscribe books " list. First with his excellent work on Resurrection Man ( one of DCs best series and due for his own resurrection ) and Birds of Prey and finally with his mindblowing art on RUSE, one of CrossGen´s best series.

If you haven´t checked out this series and you are a fan of Butch Guice ( or just love good detective comics ) you definitely owe it to yourself. The story was finished and you should be able to get all the issues. There are even a few trades available but you should get the single issues since almost all pges are double page spreads. And it goes without saying that the art is spectacular. Even the guest artists are such high calibre artists like Jeff Johnson or Paul Ryan.

Preview pages for Aquaman 42 ( and JSA 85 )

Secret Six 1 - The art in this one was a small shock for me after the first mini and the special. But I knew that going into the book. I´m reading this mainly for the story and wasn´t disappointed. The issue keeps playing the motif of the Secret Six as DCs Mission Impossible squad. And the depiction of the villain on the last pages were scary. Finally some writer who realizes the potential of the character. He´s really mad as a hatter. I wonder if they have found an ally now that time has run out on the secret six.

Shadowpact 1 - I don´t want to dis Bill Willingham but I had hoped that we would get the same art team for the ongoing as in the mini ( that must be the new thing to get different art teams for the sequels - it´s not like the art team has anything to do with the successs of a book ). Now I know Justiniano is busy ( I think with a new Creeper series ) but I would have prefered him on the book. Now this issue has not too much to judge the ongoing so I will not say much about that. I found it kind of strange to jump back and forth between the now and one year earlier but there may be a point to it. And the art was really good by Bill Willingham altough I always expect the main characters to get buck nekkid and get their funk on since I read Ironwood. It really has been too long since Bill did some interior work for comics. I recall the issues he did for Batman. I liked them. End of story.


And that´s all for today. May the force be with you.

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war and the dead

So while I was surfing on the net today I just found out that my comicshop terminated my subscription to Thunderbolts.


Because the title has been changed from New Thunderbolts to Thunderbolts and nobody realized that it´s still the same comic. I thought about getting them in Erlangen but I´m not so sure if I will find them there since I´m already missing the last three issues. Therefore I decided to get them over the internet but since the online comic shop I normally go to only had the last two issues I am trying out a new online comic shop.

Now it´s been a few days since I was at the comic shop and got my new issues so I have already red some of them. And before some other topic pops into my head I want to write some comments about them even if it´s going to be shorter than normally.

The first thing I read was Civil War 1 and I have to say : it doesn´t make any sense ! Where is Chewbacca ? No, really, it´s just like the South Park episode I keep waiting for somebody to say : " If Iron Man is suddenly for the super hero registration law and Chewbacca lives on Endor you have to find my client NOT GUILTY ! " That´s exactly how I feel. With all the covers I saw of Civil War I was really confused. You see, in all the ROAD TO CIVIL WAR issues of amazing Spider-Man I read Iron Man was totally against this new law. He even went to Washington and took Spidey with him to prevent the law. And of course Iron Man and Captain America were on different sides. Which must mean that Captain America is for the law. Which is something I really don´t believe. Cap was always a character that stood up for personal rights and the right of the individual. So it was very hard for me to picture him going after his colleagues when they decide to not obey the government.

And of course Wolverine was on the same side as Captain America in all the pictures. So since when is Wolverine for the expansion of the Mutant Regristation Act to all super heroes ? The ONLY possible scenario where I could see Wolverine being for all heroes being government controlled is if he hopes they will rebel and overthrow the government. Kind of like : " Well, we mutants had to registrate and you said it was no big deal and only for our own good. So how do you like it now that you have to put your money where your mouth is ? "

Of course it´s not like that because now....suddenly...Iron Man is all for this new law. Which means that Captain America ends up being against it alongside Wolverine. Just what I thought. But that means that since Spider-Man is now in cahoots with Tony Stark he´s now against it. Which is kind of strange because even in the first issue of Civil War he´s very outspokenly against it. I wonder how Marvel will fix that. After reading the first issue it is still not clear why Iron Man did a 180 degree switch. Now apart from that CIVIL WAR 1 WAS A REALLY GOOD READ ! I have to put it in bold letters to emphasize it for all readers. Steve McNiven´s art really comes alive and though I sometimes don´t like it that much here he really knocks it out of the park. And the story is really well written with realistic dialogue. Especially the scene where Cap has to decide on which side he is on. That´s one of the coolest scenes of Cap that I have seen for a long time outside of his own series. This Cap kicks ass. So I will be definitely get isssue 2. I was a little sceptical with all the hype surrounding the series but now I´m hooked. Before I forget : for all fans of the comic podcast ComicGeekSpeak check out the monitor on the bottom picture of page one for the CGS logo. And on page 17 the reporter on tv is Brian Deemer.

The next thing I read is X - STATIX presents Deadgirl issues 1 to 5. Now I didn´t put this comic on my pull list because of the online preview. I´m a big Mike Allred fan and I really liked X - STATIX on an artwise level because the story was just a cheap imitation of such original series like Strikeforce Morituri or Wildguard : Casting call. But the art on the online preview looked really appalling and since it did not clearly state what Mike Allred´s and Nick Dragota´s contributions were I had the impression that Mike Allred was not drawing it. Because it really didn´t look like his art.



Luckily when I was at the comic shop on Friday ( this was my emergency comic shop in Esslingen ) I could take a look at the actual comic and I realized that it really was drawn by Mike Allred. Although it looked a little like stills from a cartoon show but that may have been intentionally. And it was just my luck they still had all the single issues. Because I prefer to get the single issues over the trade. You get more ads but you can open the book better what´s especially important with double page spreads. That´s one of the reasons why I think that there will always be real comic shops to go to where you can take the comics in your own hand. Because sometimes it´s not the same looking at an online preview on the net and to look at the actual thing.

Now the story was kind of strange and weird and in general just like the whole X - STATIX series. It was neat to see Deadgirl and Mr. Sensitive again even if Dr. Strange was kind of strange in this series ( which comes with the name - right ? ) and this whole obsession with hemorrhoids was kind of.....yuck ! The version of hell in the book was interesting especially Ant Man going totally bonkers. Also the writer came up with a funny explanation why certain characters manage to come back from death time and again while others stay dead. A good read.

X - STATIX present : Deadgirl Issue 1

So this is my second post this weekend and with a little luck I can post more tomorrow. Remember kids, once you pull the pin Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.

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So many comics so little time

The last few days I had little time to write about the comics I read because of the comic fair in Stuttgart, the preparations for Erlangen, my job and all the other things like bad translations. This week I had no intention to go to the comic shop because my brother went on Thursday to get his new comics. But since Monday is a holiday and issue 25 of Superman / Batman has finally come out I decided to go anyway. Like I mentioned in one of my first postings I stopped reading Superman / Batman when the storyarc with art by Carlos Pacheco started. At first I only wanted to wait till the end of that story so that I could enjoy it in one sitting. But then I never found the time to read it in a quiet moment and the issues just kept piling up. Summer went by, Christmas went by and finally even New Year´s Eve went by without a chance to read the issues. So I decided to wait till issue 25 which is the finale of the story with art by Ed McGuiness.

Therefore I went to my comic shop on Friday but because the comic was resolicitated and I ended my subscription to the series with issue 25 I never got it. Which meant that if I wanted to finally read all the issues I had to either wait or go to my emergency comic shop which is the Sammlerecke in Esslingen, a shop where I know the owner very good and even worked there for a while when I was studying art in Nürtingen and he had nobody who was able to take over the US subscription section. I call it my emergency comic shop because it´s the first place I go to in a comic emergency like a missed issue or a special Paperback I absolutely need. They are always good stocked with trades and new comics - if I can´t find it there often it can just not be found anywhere. But of course it´s very dangerous to go there because they have everything and I´m always tempted to spend like 200 bucks and end up leaving four to five trades I wanted to buy. Of course I kept missing buses and trains on the way there so it took longer than necessary. I found the issue I was looking for but also a ton of other stuff so I ended up buying more stuff than I wanted. Don´t get me wrong - I didn´t buy ANY comics I didn´t want to buy. It´s just that I had planned to spread them over a longer period of time. But since I have so many new comics to read now - especially with the new ones of my brother - it´s high time to write about the ones I read so far. I have decided to write a little more about what happens in the issues since I´m very far behind my reading. Also, you are probably already reading the newest issues of the series I´m writing about so anything I write is old stuff for you. And you are by any chance only here by mistake since I don´t get any comments which means nobody is reading this anyway. I still don´t know how to contact other websites and get them to link my blog. So by the time I have that figured out everything I´m writing about right now will be many months old.

Now the comics I read from my brother´s pull list :

Nightwing 120

In the third one year later issue the conflict between Nightwing and Jason Todd who has been posing as Nightwing gets more intense. The art is still not very stunning and this whole fashion world surrounding seems really strange to me. Especially the Nightwing fashion line. That´s just so typical for my brother that he misses the issues with good art but gets all the issues with not so good art.

She Hulk 7

This whole story about Starfox is kind of strange. Not only does it portray an honorable member of the Avengers as a criminal and sex offender but it has no real ending. It seems that the writer had no idea how to end this and just opted for an open ending. It kind of reminds me of the ( mathematical ) isssue 100 where Dan Slott wrote himself into a corner and could not find one reason for She Hulk not to be erased from the time stream therefore making the whole story redundant. The ending that she saved the judges seemed really farfetched to me and the result - the judges ruled in her favor because she saved them - didn´t have much to do with impartial judgement. Is this really how justice should work ?

Artwise it´s not that bad - not worse than Juan Bobillo´s stuff - but I´m just glad Paul Smith is the new regular artist. What also irritated me was Jen´s reaction when she had the suspicion ( and not much more than that ) that Starfox might have taken advantage of her. Just beating him to a pulp without any proof seemed a little extreme for me especially from somebody who should assume people innocent until proven guilty. But maybe that´s part of Jen becoming slowly unhinged and part of a longer storyline. As for the whole argument about Starfox using his powers to get lucky I wonder if it is so different from a famous movie star using his fame or a pop star like Robbie Williams or an athlete with his superior physique. Some people have more money, or are better liars, or look better or use whatever power they have to their advantage. It may not be fair but nobody said life would be fair. Would you put somebody to trial for that ? And I´m not talking about an episode of Ally McBeal here.

SHE HULK 7

Spidergirl 98

Only two issues left till the final issue 100. And this time issue 100 for real without any difficult mathematical tricks. All the players have finally assembled and I´m curious to find out on which side Black Tarantula ends up. One thing´s for sure : the real Hobgoblin is back with a vengeance and this time he´s done with playing around. After the final page I just wonder if Spidergirl has any allies left and how high the bodycount will be at the end of the final issue. I´m just glad the series goes out with a bang and that Mayday Parker gets her big finale. I always hat it when comic series end without the chance to wrap it all up. At least with Spidergirl the creative team has the chance to go out with a bang.

Now I have heard the rumors that there may be a continuation of the series but I have never been one to put much faith on the internet buzzing.

Spidergirl 98

Superman 652

In the third one year later issue Superman starts getting back his superpowers ( he lost them during Infinite Crisis ) and for my taste I have to say - much too fast. I would have prefered it if he got his powers back at a slower pace. It could have been really interesting to have him jump over buildings instead of flying for a few issues and have his superpowers return one after the other. He could also build up his invulnerability over time which would be far more interesting. Like he could be in real trouble and then - BANG ! - his heat vision would be back and he would just fry his opponents weapons. That would be so cool.

At least he´s back in costume although only time will tell how the general public reacts to his return. It´s not like this is the first time he has come back and I guess there will be some who wonder if it´s really him or just another impostor. What was a little hard to swallow for me was the fact that Lois stayed with him when he lost his powers. Since Lois was always more interested in Superman than in Clark it´s kind of hard to imagine her really enjoying a whole year without Supes. But maybe she had this suspicions that sooner or later his powers would return. They always have until now. All in all an interesting read even if the art is a little off putting.

Ultimate Spiderman 94

Another great issue. This is the finale of the Deadpool story and I don´t know what to say..that hasn´t been said before. Mark Bagley still delivering great art without missing a beat and an intruiging read by Bendis. And it is just me but when I look at the cover for the next issue ultimate Morbius looks just like normal Morbius ?

The comics I spent money on :

Infinite Crisis 7

This is the big one. The monumental blockbuster drag-down steelcage monumental high-octane finale ! So far I have been really enjoying the series and the last issue kicks it all into high gear for one last time. Sometimes this big crossovers can be really disappointing but issue 7 really delivers. And like in the first Crisis Saga there is one loose end at the final page. Which some people didn´t like that much but I really love the ending.
Teen Titans 35 and 36

I´m still not thrilled with Tony Daniels art but since it seems he will be the regular artist for the next years there´s not much point in complaining. The story is really interesting with Beast Boy now being a member of the Doom Patrol but it´s kind of strange for me that DC cancelled John Byrne´s Doom Patrol series ( which I highly enjoyed ) when they are now putting them more into the spotlight. Considering what is revealed about the Doom Patrol I have to say I liked it better when John Byrne was writing it. What was unexpected for me was the revelation about Kid Devil ( I think that´s his name ). Really surprising this one hit me out of the blue.

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man 8

Okay, that´s it. From now on I´m only going to buy the issues with art from Mike Wieringo. No, really. The Ringo is back and just like that I love the comic again. That´s a sure sign that the main reason why I disliked the last two issues was the fact that they were drawn by somebody else. So I would like to say that this is the start to another storyline full of Peter-David-greatness but it just seems that I´m not objective on the matter. So let me just say that I really liked the issue especially the peek into what might have been if things had happened a little different for our favorite wallcrawler.

take a peek at issue 9

Wolverine 41

This standalone double sized issue was kind of strange for me. Normally I really like Paul Smith´s art but there was not much of it left in the pages of this issue. Almost everything is black with patches of color and stuff. Not really the fine linework one has come to expect this comic looks more like an art school alumni´s project. The story is really interesting and it manages to put Wolverine in an unexpected role but it looks really weak.

I was kind of thinking about taking it of my pull list with Humberto Ramos being the new artist. The few pages I have seen so far were kind of strange and very pointy but from what I have read so far from issue 42 it´s the start of a captivating new adventure. So I´m glad I still get this comic especially since Humberto Ramos has been announced as one of the artists in Erlangen. And it would be just too embarrasing to have to say : " No, I haven´t read any of your Wolverine issues because I just canceled my subscription to it when I heard you would be the new artist. Now could you please sign this other comic ? "

Fantastic Four 537

Part two of the Road to Civil War issues. This is the last one with a cover by Mike McKone and I must say the Civil War covers I´ve seen so far of Fantastic Four are nothing to write home about. If you get a different artist for a book shouldn´t he be at least as good as the one doing the interiors ? Just reminds me of the last Supergirl issues that had beautiful art of Ed Benes in it and really not so good covers. That´s contra productive. Because the covers are there to sell the issues not scare customers away, right ? I´m not sure if I should post the Civil War covers of the Fantastic Four since it´s bad enough you have to see them on the actual books. No need for unnecessary and cruel punishment.

Now the story has an interesting explanation how Doom escaped from hell but the end was not all that unexpected. This issue has gone back to print which I´m happy about since I got the second printing with the much better cover. Be sure to get the one I posted here - it´s way cooler than the first printing.

JSA 85

Have I mentioned before that I really like how Rags Morales draws Power Girl ? No reader of Hawkman can forget the Mardi Gras issue where he drew her with really big cans. Yup, Mr. Morales sure knows his Power Girl.

The origin of the Gentleman Ghost is being slowly revealed although it´s still not clear to me why he´s after the JSA. But maybe I just missed it. What can I say ? I got distracted by Power Girl. Damn, she looks goood !

Usagi Yojimbo 93

Stan Sakai shows again that he´s the undefeated master of the single issue stories. Although not much happens in this issue about Usagi and Tomoe partaking in a tea ceremony it is one of the best written issues ever. I would like to recommend this issue to all new readers of Usagi Yojimbo BUT I have to say if you haven´t read enough issues to understand the relationship between Usagi and Tomoe you will not understand much of what is going on in this issue. Still this issue is pure poetry and a little bit heartbreaking.

Savage Dragon 125 ( 64 pages ! )

He´s done it again. I don´t know why a guy like Erik Larsen who´s now the big muckamuck at Image and who has often problems bringing out his issues in time even bothers to do double sized issues. And I don´t care. Because he will do whatever he pleases in his comic and I wouldn´t have it any other way. So whenever Erik wants he just goes and does a double sized or tripple sized or quadruple sized issue and we readers just love it. It doesn´t matter if it´s 64 pages, 80 pages or 100 pages. So far it´s always been worth the money.

Now in this issue there are some stories that have been published before but this is the first time they can be found in an actual issue of the old finhead´s own comic. And that´s a good service for all readers who don´t like to have to buy other comics to get Savage Dragon stories. Now there are two brandnew stories in this issue the second one being a story which uses the same panel over and over again. The only thing that changes is the position of the fly and the time the clock shows. And of course the speech baloons and the view out of the window. It´s not easy to make this kind of story but Erik pulls it off without boring the reader. You really get pulled in and after a few pages you don´t think about the fact that it´s the same panel over and over again. There were some pages in the series so far where this technique has been used but this is the first full story. And I have to say I prefer it when artist like Mr. Larsen keep trying new things even if they risk to fall on their noses. At least you know that the Savage Daragon will always be interesting and experimental. In my opinion the best superhero book nobody is reading.

So that is all for today and I hope to be able to write a few postings over the weekend. Klaatu barata nikto.

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ANATOMY OF A BAD TRANSLATION

Thank god, I´m still wearing a pullover to work. It was freezing today not to mention the constant rain. Yes, you just have to love Germany in the spring. For the last three days it has been getting colder and colder and there has even been some snow in parts of Germany.

Last Saturday I was at the Stuttgart comic fair and it was better attended then I thought. Since I came prepared this time I managed to get a good swag of comics. I found SENTRY 4, SHE HULK 100, SOLO 7 Mike Allred, WHAT IF THOR ( by Robert Kirkman and Michael Avon Oeming ), SPIDER-MAN & FRIENDS ( Marvel Team Up 1 - 10 ), Marvel Exclusiv 49 ( Daredevil 38 - 45 ), Marvel Exclusiv 57 ( Daredevil 56 - 60 ), SOLAR 7,14,15, 21 - 25, 29, Archer & Armstrong 14, 16, 20, 21, 23, Shadowman 17, 18, 20, 21, Eternal Warrior 7, 11, 14 - 16, Magnus Robot Fighter 30 ( X - O Manowar ), X - O manowar 2, 10, Shaman´s Tears 11, 12, New Teen Titans 37 & Batman and the Outsiders 5 ( crossover ), What if 15 ( Greg Capullo ),19 ( Ron Wilson ), Justice League Task Force 7, DEMON 28, 29, Moon Knight Fist of Khonshu 1 - 6, HULK annual 13, Batman & Robin adventures 3, Batman adventures 10, 17. Except the first four comics I got the single issues for one EURO each and the trades with at least five EUROS discount each. Here in Germany most comic shops don´t have 50 cent bins so the only way to get cheap comics are at comic fairs or comic conventions and such.

Of course when you take a list with all the series you usually find at such events you start finding comics that are not on the list. Like the ROM issues. There were some MOON KNIGHT issues of the regular series I came across but since there were huge gaps between issues I decided that it´s a better investment to get the newly released ESSENTIAL MOON KNIGHT. But I bought the first six issue of the MOON KNIGHT - Fist of Khonshu series ( which apperently was all that ever came out from this series ). The name of the art team Chris Warner and E. R. Cruz doesn´t ring a bell but from the first impression it looks like the art of that independent comic CAPTAIN BOLT & BLUE THUNDER or whatever the name was. Sadly the art team changes after issue three which may be the cause the series got cancelled or a result thereof. Reading the comic I realized how important the captions are for a comic and how much atmosphere you can build with it. Especially if you read it right before the MARVEL TEAM UP issues. You get the impression that with the first one you are reading something more like a book while the last one is more like a longer cartoon strip. Somehow it´s kind of strange that there are comic companies who claim that the story is very important to them yet they have no captions. Really confusing that in times when most people state to read comics more for the story then for the art the same reader find captions and thought ballons too " comic booky ". They make the argument that people in comics speak differently than people in real life. That is right. Because the persons in comics are only there to get some information to the reader. In a theater play the actors only purpose is to play their parts and to speak their lines. And some roles are only written to get certain information to the audience.

In real life there are no such people. In real life there are a lot of people who talk for hours without getting you any useful information and in real life that´s okay. But in a comic you have a limited amount of space and time. So you have to edit what people say and more importantly you have to edit the people appearing in your comic. You can´t have six billion people in your comic. On twenty six pages. Unless you are Geoff Darrow.

No you have to leave only the people in the book that play a part in the story. Or that get some information to the reader. Because if they don´t have anything useful to do they just belong in the background or they don´t belong in your comic at all. I know that´s harsh but that´s the comic biz. You either have something to give to the reader or it´s " Hello, comic limbo. " for you. Just ask THE QUESTION.

But that are just some random comments and not what I really wanted to write about. No, my main topic are the translations of american comics in Germany and this one guy in particular. But instead of just writing about it I thought it would be best to show it with an example. Because as I stated in the header of this blog I´m writing about the translated versions of comics and that is why you are reading my blog. It may be old news to german comic readers but I think american readers might find it interesting what is done to their beloved comics here in Germany. We lost the war but we can still get our revenge on these verdammte amerikanische komik books, Schweinehund ! Case in point : HELDENSPECIAL - Glaubenskrieg from PANINI. It collects the storyline STAND OFF that ran through THOR 58, IRON MAN 64 and AVENGERS 63. Although I already have all the issues in the original my brother thought it would be nice to have a copy for himself to read. And it was at a really cheap price so it would be a bargain, right ? WRONG ! He forgot who translates most Avengers stories to german and altough he keeps reminding himself that he only bought it for the art he can´t help but feel ripped off. What is especially puzzling for me is that in a land like Germany where 90 percent of comic readers think that the stories are more important than the art nobody thinks that the quality of the translation is very important for the enjoyment of a comic.

Now, to understand why the translation is so bad you have to know that the translator has an uncanny ability to get rid of all key dialogue and important sentences. So we will analyze the original version and the translation via a technique I call the RETRANSLATOR. The retranslator functions with the same principle of mathematics that say that both sides of an equation must be the same. If 3 + 4 equals 7 than you should be able to get 4 if you substract 3 from 7. Now that sounds complicated but with a good translation you should be able to find out what was said in the original. It´s easier to show than to explain so we should get started.

On the first page we get what I call " compressed translation " which means that 50 % of the original text gets cut. Don´t know why you can´t use a smaller font but so the original text

" Sadly, there are places where man cannot aspire to the higher ideals of the gods, for he´s too consumed with simple survival. These are places of poverty and desperation, where the precious few who hold power use it to brutalize the weak. Such a place is Slokovia. "

reads in german like this :

" Es gibt Länder, wo die Ideale der Götter wenig gelten. Man ist dort zu beschäftigt damit, zu überleben. Es gibt Länder, wo die Menschen arm sind und verzweifelt. Wo wenige Mächtige das Volk unterdrücken. Länder wie Slokovia. "

Now let´s turn on the retranslator and see what remained from the original text.

" There are countries where the ideals of the gods have little meaning. Man is too busy with survival. There are countries where people are poor and desperate. Where few powerful opress the populace. Countries like Slokovia. "

Not only was the original text shortened but the word " places " was replaced with the word " countries " for no apparent reason. But that happens throughout the whole book so instead I want to concentrate on the key phrases of the comic. You know, that few lines that are forever engraved in your memory and pop up each time you think of the story.On page 8 Thor´s words

" Those mortals died with my name on their lips. "

are changed to

" Beim Gebet hat man sie getötet. "

which put through the retranslator reads :

" They were killed while praying. "

Now the original sentence gives the reason why Thor gets involved. The mortals died praying to him and he as a god couldn´t prevent their death. Their faith to him could not save them - but at least he can avenge them. The translated sentence gives no explanation to why Thor gets involved. They were killed while praying but that happens to a lot of people on earth ? Why are they so special ? Nowhere there is a mention that they were praying to him. Now, one might argue that the reader can get to this conclusion alone. That is possible but then he doesn´t need to read the comic. And secondly that decision is up to the writer and not the translator. What adds insult to injury is that the next sentence

" Such disregard for life is never to be tolerated. "

is reduced to

" Das darf nicht sein. "

which through the retranslator reads as

" This must not be. "

Which has little ( if not nothing ) to do with Thor´s original words.

Now on the next page Thors original text is :

" ´Tis clear an evil regime exists there which abuses and tortures its people. The burning flame of human rights and freedom has been extinguished amid such terror. The honor of Thor demands action ! Slokovian suffering demans justice ! Let their leaders be warned ! "

If we put the german translation

" Die Herrscher dort missachten die Rechte des Volkes. Freiheit und sterbliches Leben werden mit Füssen getreten. Also muss Thor handeln. Die Führer von Slokovia mögen sich vorsehen. "

through the retranslator we get the following result.

" The leaders there disregard its peoples rights. They trample on freedom and mortal life. Thus must Thor act. The leaders of Slokovia should beware. "

Now this does not only read entirely different then the original version you also loose most of the atmosphere and drama. No evil regime that abuses and tortures its people, no burning flame that got extinguished amid such horror and not even the slokovian suffering demands justice anymore. Not to mention that the honor of Thor no longer demands action. It´s like reading two different books.


Next strange point is in the conversation between Iron Man and Dr. Doom. The sentence

" He´ll turn this planet to ash. "

was replaced by

" Das ist verhängnisvoll. "

Meaning

" That is disastrous. "

Well, I don´t know what you think about this but for me there is a difference between doing something disastrous and turning a whole planet to ash. A small difference but still a difference.

Okay, now we come to part two of the story and it only gets worse from here. On the first page the conversation between Thor and Iron Man

" Thor! You can´t do this ! " - " Shall I ignore the cries of those who are opressed in my name ? "

is changed to

" Thor ! Hör auf damit ! " - " " Sterbliche in grosse Not erflehen meinen Beistand. " .

Put through our retranslator we come up with :

" Thor ! Stop it ! " - " Mortals in great misery implore my aid. "

Well, I as a reader feel cheated. It´s not the same to tell somebody he can´t do something and to tell him to stop something. It´s not the same when some people are opressed in Thor´s name and when mortals implore his aid. The first one involves him much more then the second one.

But that´s all peanuts to the next translations. Was the translator taking a few liberties so far ( and that´s the understatement of the year ) so this is the part where he finally says goodbye to the original script and just writes his own story. The pivotal sentences of Thor

" So this is your " line in the sand ? " Well, this is mine. Cross at your peril ! "

becomes

" So weit gehst du also? Thor sagt...Nicht weiter ! "

which translates back to

" That´s how far you go ? Thor says...No further ! "

Okay, what happened here ? Clearly somebody is on an egotrip. The whole analogy with soldiers drawing their lines in the sand just go rright out of the window. That´s just not right.

And it just gets better. Doom´s words

" Thor has fired the opening shot. "

are changed to

" Thor has provoked the world. "

Thor´s text

" Only a fool has no doubts, brave Balder...or a loyal friend. "

get distorted to

" Only a fool has no doubts. Or no friends "

losing the original meaning completely ( which sadly shows that the translator did not understand the original meaning ), Thor´s warning

" Now...know my wrath ! "

becomes

" Therefore....tremble ! "

and

" You sting me with words sharp as steel. "

miracously reads as

" It would be better if you leave, human. ".

We´re almost finished but there are a few grave mistranslations left in the last part. Here we witness how

" You dare to power your armor with the gift of gods ? The might you stole is yours no longer ! "

is translated to

" You dare to play god with your armor ? That I can never allow. "

Doom´s comment

" I do love a good wine. And a good war. "

becomes

" Perfect. Red wine....red blood. ".

?????? I´m just totally confused. I haven´t even the foggiest where this one came from. Thor´s words

" Captain. You either stand with me...or not at all ! "

now reads

" For me it´s totally clear, Cap. Friend...or foe ! "." Don´t be an armchair general. "

Now it´s

" Think about it. ".

And for everyone who has ever served in the military it´s absolutely clear that there is a difference between

" Move out ! "

and

" At ease ! ". Or between

" For I am their GOD ! "

and

" For my people ! "

I mean it´s apparent that the translater would rather be writing comics himself than translate the work of another writer. So maybe that´s what he should do. One motto I go by is : If you do a job at least do it right. Or with the words of a great philosopher : Do or do not. There is no try.

So now you know why there are so many german comic readers who prefer the original versions to the mutilated, distorted and just wrong versions that appear in Germany. Like I said this is just this one guy who thinks of himself more of a Shakespeare than a hired hand to translate comics to their german version. But it´s not easy to avoid it if he does all the Avengers ( and spin offs like Thor ) and most of the Fantastic Four comics here. I know it has gotten kind of long but I just wanted to illustrate my point for all those people on comic forums telling me that I´m exaggerating and that normal readers won´t know the difference. Sorry, in my experience that just doesn´t make it right. If you don´t care about your readers and just want to get the quick cash - that´s when you tell yourself : They won´t know the difference. Either do your job right or let somebody more qualified do it. And if a publisher doesn´t want to invest the money for good work that is up to him. But don´t come to me and bitch that your sales are dropping and readers buy the original. Because readers are not stupid and some of us know the original version. You can´t expect readers to buy the german version if it is not only more expensive but it additionally lacks quality.

So that was my kind of rant about the german translations. Which for the most part are pretty good. But when they are bad - man, they really suck !

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