Thursday, May 19, 2022

Double Dee Donnerstag with Monifa Jansen

Once again it is time to sit down and write one of those posts that splits my readership in half faster than the subject of this post Monifa Jansen can split her legs but I won´t let that deter me since I know that at least half of my audience welcomes this kind of content. And I also know that most new readers find their way here through these cult siren entries.

It has been over a year since I wrote my last cult siren post - if you don´t count my posts about 40D cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya Han . Yes, there is still plenty of cult siren content in all of my posts but a pure and simple stand alone cult siren post has become the exception, not the rule on this blog. So I thought with all of the depressing stuff lately what better way to cheer my readers up than with a cult siren entry for a new contestant who can take it up with the best ? Because as it so happens to be a few days ago while looking for pictures of afro american all natural 36F - 25 - 39 aphrodite Lexi Hart to finish my PLANET OF THE APES spotlight post I came upon some pictures of Monifa Jansen and this girl blew my mind !


So I just had to put her on the blog as soon as possible. There are plenty of ultimate sexbombs from Instagram and other sites where I have all the necessary material ready for the go. But anybody who is more than a sporadic visitor knows about my addiction to chocolate and therefore should not be surprised that a dark skinned breed mare like Monifa Jansen with her mega juicy coconuts immediatelly jumped to the top of the list.


Now this should have been an easy post to make. Just put a few pictures on the blog, do the old copy / paste trick, add my own commentaries for that special flavour my readers have grown fond of, add a few videos with Monifa Jansen ( as well as the usual mix of comicbooks, movies, tv shows, cartoons and music clips ) and this post should be done in no time. Right ?

Wrong.

First up : the pictures. Once I discovered Monifa Jansen I fell into a rabbit hole of pictures and being a perfectionist I naturally only wanted to give my readers the best pictures so I spent the last three days going through what must have been over 1,000 pictures. And when I finally had them all sorted out I found even more pictures. Not that I am complaining since that meant having more and better pictures for the post. Or posts since I can´t cram all the pictures into one post. But that also meant going over all the pictures again. And I am still not finished as I keep finding more.

Another wrinkle to put on all of this was that I had to discard some of the best pictures because they were censored. Which sounds weird because for some reason I don´t fully understand myself I am still trying to keep the posts safe for work. Or as safe as I can while posting borderline extremely erotic content without going fully into the realm of porn. So you might think I would applaud it if somebody censored their pictures.


Which I don´t.

Now I don´t know if Monifa Jansen did this herself or if she had somebody do it for her ( although if you think about it this is a moot point ) but all her pictures with wet and / or seethrough nipplage and nude nipples were censored. What happens is that they are blurred to the point where you don´t see the actual nipple but you see enough to know there is nipplage.


Now I´m not saying that Monifa Jansen does not have the right to decide which parts of her anatomy are shown on the internet. But I also had to make a decision regarding what I show my readers and so far I have drawn the line at seethrough and or wet t - shirt nippleage because I can argue that while the breast looks naked technically speaking it is fully clothed.


Which doesn´t mean that I have not shown the occassional full frontal nudity shot ( as long as the crotch area is fully covered of course ) since I don´t think an inoffensive naked breast ever hurt anyone. So when I find pictures with nippleage - fully covered or fully naked - I can decide if I use them or not. If they are censored I can´t make that decision plus if I would use these censored pictures I am sure there would be plenty of blog followers who would tell me to either post the uncensored pictures or not post them at all since that is a halfway measure. And they would be right.


As readers from the first hour know I always complain when movies or tv shows put nude scenes into the script when they cannot show them.


What´s the point if that is only to tease the audience ? I have made the same point when comic writers do this so I have to abide by my own rules.


Speaking of rules, as also longtime followers of the blog are aware of I have the 23 pictures per post rule which means that I try to keep it down to 23 pictures in every post I make. Original artwork plus the corresponding colored version count as one picture here and also the rule applies only to the main part. Now with the post addendum that´s an entirely different ball game. But usually I try to keep it within the 23 pictures per post limit.


And I have to stretch the limits a bit on this one because when I finally finished to whittle it down to the 23 most bonerinducing pictures of sex goddess Monifa Jansen I realized that there were no bikini pictures of her.

They were all nude pictures without showing any kind of nippleage. Which doesn´t seem like a big problem. Until you factor in that you will mention in your post that Monifa Jansen is a bikini model but you won´t have any pictures of her wearing an actual bikini. So I added a few pictures from her best bikini shoot - her red sling bikini - and seeing that her red sling bikini does not really cover up much of anything it doesn´t surprise me that it was almost impossible to find good quality pictures from the shoot.


By the way, if anybody knows where I can find more pictures with Monifa Jansen in her red sling bikini please let me know in the comments below. I know I complained earlier about this but I wouldn´t mind going over more photos if it means I can add more pictures from this terrific shoot. So like I said, we are going over the 23 pictures per post rule with this and I guess all the following ones ( because there will be at least ten posts ) because I had a hard time ( figuratively AND literally ) bringing it down to only 23.


Now you might think that were the only problems and that once I got all the pictures sorted out this would be a piece of chocolate booty cake.


Nothing could be farther from the truth because I can´t do ye olde copy / paste schtick since the various internet sources don´t agree with another and often contradict everything starting with her birthday. I have found seven pages in favour of her birthday being on the 11th of February 1993 while five pages claim it was on March the 3rd 1993 with one website listing both birthdays and the unofficial Monifa Jansen facebook page not even mentioning her birthday. So let´s see, who is this Monifa Jansen ?


Well more or less Monifa Jansen is an icelandic or dutch or south american ( depending on which website you ask ) Instagram star, bikini / swimsuit model, actress, singer, influencer and social media star with the Instagram handle @monifajansen who has gained legions of followers thanks to her 38E ( which is the same as DD hence the title ) - 25 - 40 measurements.

Born Monica Joanne Marie Jansen in Willemstead, Curacao an island off the cost of South America which apparently is part of the Antilles so politically it belongs to the Netherlands which was all very confusing to me since I never got high grades in geography. Monifa Jansen has been a law student, she likes dancing as a pastime and has received training in ballet, jazz and hip hop. She is an avid traveler and likes to explore new places.


This dark haired sexbomb of dutch, suranan, german, indonesian, african and portugese descent has more curves than the Nürnburgring which makes it understandable that some websites list her eye color as brown and others as green. I mean, with her ultimate porn star body and the skimpy clothing she wears who pays attention to the color of her eyes ?


Although not everybody seems to be impressed with Monifa Jansen´s bikini beachbody which is way beyond the usual hourglass type as one website even dared to list her body type as average. Daiiiimn, I wonder where the guy who wrote that lives where all women have the average body type of such an ultimate nubian nympho blow up sex doll like Monifa Jansen. Why couldn´t we have moved there instead of coming to Spain ?


What everybody seems to agree on is that Monifa Jansen was crowned Miss Curaçao Universe 2011 and represented her country in the Miss World 2011 and Miss Universe 2012 pageants. She competed as the one of seven finalists in her country's national pageant, Miss Curaçao Universe, held on April of 2011. She won the title, gaining the right to represent Curaçao.


But, she could not participate in the Miss Universe 2011 pageant, since she did not meet the age requirements for the pageant. So instead of her, the second runner up Evalina van Putten represented her nation at the Miss Universe pageant.  Later, she got the chance to participate in the Miss World pageant, which was held in London on 8th November, 2011.


Monifa was selected as the contestant for Miss Universe 2012. She put in lot of efforts to become Miss Universe and engaged in bodybuilding and regular fitness exercises. Monifa also competed in Miss Universe 2012, but she failed to qualify for the semi - final round. Monifa Jansen was also on the cover of the very first issue of Sultre Magazine in August of 2016.


Anyway, that´s all for this post about Monifa Jansen and as you can see we are way beyond the obligatory 23 pictures. I don´t know if I can bring it down again to 23 in our next post about Monifa, we´ll see how it goes.


What I do know is that it will be - for the most part - hot bikini pictures.


This brings us to the video part of our first spotlight on Monifa Jansen and of course all of her breast ones have an age restriction. Like the one of her red sling bikini , any video of her yellow sling bikini although the word " bikini " is not really describing it since Monifa is basically wearing shoelaces that don´t cover up anything, speaking of which naturally the video of her getting her red g - string bikini butt all wet has one as do the videos of Monifa Jansen getting wet in her gold bikini, wearing her green bikini, her orange bikini, her pink bikini, her gold mini bikini, her brown mini bikini, her white micro bikini, her sexy cowgirl outfit , her even sexier red cowgirl lingerie outfit ( I bet she was very popular with all the three legged breeding stallions around Halloween ), her golden winged white lingerie angel outfit, wearing various g - string bikinis and walking in slow motion and finally I don´t know what to call this outfit : she is wearing a bikini plus a cross between a pantyhose and garters.


I did however find some videos with Monifa Jansen that don´t have the obligtory age restriction and which I thus can post safely on the blog.

There are also a lot of music videos with Monifa Jansen on YouTube some of them even without any age restrictions. It was a bit difficult for me to just pick one but after initially looking for a video where she gets to sing - yep,  there is no end to her talents she is also gifted with her throat ( and I bet in more than one way ) - in the end I settled for this one because you get to see the most of Monifa´s bonerinducing porn star hardbody.


THE WONDERBRA YEARS or WHEN BIKINI CONTESTS RULED THE WORLD

Since I can´t post the best videos with Monifa Jansen and the ones that I can post are very short ( which is the reason why I included five of them ) I wanted to add another bikini video that is a bit longer and it should be no surprise to regular blog visitors that I went old school with the 1995 Beach Bash Finals of the Hot Bod Bikini Contest filmed at the Shooters club in North Miami Beach, Florida which was shot for the local cable tv.


I have said it a few times that the mid / late 80s to the early 90s were the golden age of bikini contests and that the sexy girls that entered those competitions were on another level compared to Today´s bikini babes.

Now some people may think that this is just nostalgia but while I admit that might be a factor my claim is supported by the fact that none other than PLAYBOY´s 34B - 22 - 34 Playmate Of The Month Of July in 1996 Angel Boris is one of the contestants ( at 13:55 ) who does neither look out of place among the other bikini blow up sex dolls nor eclipse their sexyness.


LONELY DAYS ARE GONE I´M GOIN HOME MY BABY WROTE ME A LETTER

Speaking about PLAYBOY, what do PLAYBOY magazine and comicbooks have in common ? Well, yes, both feature women with very exaggerated body measurements but what I meant is both used to have letter columns.


Now I know all the arguments for dispensing of letters to comics but for me none of them are valid. Yes, in Today´s technologically advanced society it is quicker to send an e - mail then to write a letter and it is easier to interact with the creators of a comicbook through unsocial media or message boards. But raise your hand if you have recently read tweets or posts on forums that were well thought out and without any spelling errors or insults that had a point to them. Nobody ? Thought so.


Also it is not true that messages in cyber space are there for all times.


Message boards shut down, tweet accounts are canceled and even if not there are all kinds of viruses or hackers that can erase everything forever.


One of my posts is my extremely long CAPTAIN AMERICA post ( of which I posted the original german version and the translated english version - which I later split up into various parts for the convenience of my readers ) which was one of my entries for an ongoing column for the german comic book news website COMICGATE and besides being an easy way to provide content for the blog one of the reasons why I did it was that I knew it would not be on that site forever. Even if they don´t delete this kind of essays sooner or later they end up in the archives where nobody reads it.


Besides being perfect time capsules letter pages were the only place where you could catch up if you missed an issue or two before the instant accessibility of Today. Another thing was that people would write about aspects of the story you might have missed or had different viewpoints on characters or events that helped broaden your mind. So yes, letter pages are rarely used nowadays and comics are less entertaining because of it.


WAY OF THE FAUST : DIE NEUEN LEIDEN DES JUNGEN JOHN JASPERS

The thing with these cult siren posts is that it can be difficult to find videos for the categories in the bonus section - unless it´s an actress in which case the movie and tv videos are usually easier to find or I have done the obligatory comicbook movie casting bit and I can run with that.


On the plus side since it is in most cases impossible to find videos that fit the topic this gives you the freedom to post any videos you want from those you can´t put into any other post to some you want to put on the blog as soon as possible to videos that you had to cut from other post to those you found too late to include in a post. The following video falls into the latter category because while I haven´t finished my WOLVERINE BY MARC SILVESTRI post - yet - it is too late to include it there. Lastly I just would have to change too much around and I like to keep it real.


Anyway, Brian Tenold picked a good one with this because it´s one of those forgotten comicbook adaptions nobody remembers ( even I had forgotten this movie existed ) or talks about anymore. And as longtime followers of TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN know I love to feature them, the more obscure they are the better. Now what I do remember is that my younger brother was heavily into Tim Vigil´s Faust and that it was a very affordable comicbook because with luck you would get an issue a year.


And before you ask what the Wolverine connection is Tim Vigil obviously took inspiration from Logan´s claws for the weapons of his main character.


Last but not least Faust means Fist in german but is also the name of the protagonist of Wolfgang von Goethe´s famous literary work Faust about a guy who makes a deal with the devil which in turn has inspired thousands of movies, tv shows, video games, pop songs, other books or comicbooks.


Now usually I don´t post videos of the movie reactors I watch because I feels that´s too personal and something I want to keep separate from my public - or semi public - life. However I just had to make an exception for this : besides being a funny social experiment for Mary Cherry about how different women with bigger breasts are treated it gives us a glimpse of a possible alternate dimension where things are abreast, I mean different.


We come to another video I couldn´t fit into previous posts and as blog regulars know I already posted a video about all the martial arts movies that were incorporated into the Karate Tiger franchise how No Retreat No Surrender was called in Germany. And I didn´t want to include two videos that were kind of similar. Nevertheless if I know my german readers they will be very interested in this short summary of Jean - Claude Van Damme´s life, times, tribulations and movies that manages to be more in - depth than most much lengthier documentaries. So without further ado I give you Mister Jean - Claude Van Damme, the man, the myth, the legend.


One reason why Jean - Claude Van Damme´s movies are so iconic is of course the music. I think Bloodsport has the best soundtrack but since I already posted Stan Bush´s Fight To Survive here´s Hold On To The Vision.


Speaking of not retreating and not surrendering, we are staying with 80s classic although we switch genres from martial arts to science fiction with V starring Michael Ironside ( known from a plethora of movies from Total Recall to Starship Troopers ), Lane Smith ( Perry White in Lois & Clark : The New Adventures Of Superman with the best Lois Lane ever 34B - 23 - 34 cult siren Teri Hatcher ), Robert Englund before he became famous as Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare On Elm Street and Brian Singer best known - apart from this - for the Beastmaster movies. I wrote more about Marc Singer and the Beastmaster movies in my spotlight post on The Power Of Shazam artist Peter Krause so if you want to know more check that out.


Last but not least we have real b - movie royalty on V with 36C - 24 - 36 Andy Sidaris actress Sybil Danning who sadly only appears in one episode.


OF COPS, TORPEDOES, HOOKERS AND OTHER ULTIMATE SEXBOMBS

We have another callback to Jean - Claude Van Damme with The Hero And The Terror from 1988 starring none other than martial arts legend Chuck Norris who hired Jean - Claude as a stunt double on Missing In Action.


The movie also features real life 34C - 23 - 33 Power Girl Karen Lorre formerly Karen Witter who was PLAYBOY´s Playmate Of The Month for March in 1982 ( you can read more about her in the big finale to my Hugh Hefner tribute series from 2020 ) and whom regular blog readers might remember since she appeared in a few episodes of Mike Hammer, most notably in the episode Kill Devil with her famous picture album scene.


Karen also had bit parts on Trapper John M. D. ( 1986 ), Cheers ( 1988 ), The Vineyard ( 1989 ), The X - Files ( 1995 ), Sabrina the Teenage Witch ( 1998 ), NYPD Blue ( 2000 ) and Malcolm in the Middle ( 2001 ). She also appeared in the movie Another Chance ( 1989 ). From 1990 to 1994 Karen had a contract role as the 4th Tina Lord on ABC´s soap opera One Life to Live, for which she was nominated for a 1991 Soap Opera Digest Award for Outstanding Female Newcomer in Daytime. Karen Witter later appeared as Nemesis in Hercules : The Legendary Journeys, in the seventh episode .


Karen married TV producer Chuck Lorre in 2001 ( hence the name change to Lorre in the IMDB entry ), they had two children and are now divorced.


Since I don´t know how to make a segueway from blonde Busenwunder Karen Lorre to a tv show where the main protagonist´s name is Hooker without sounding chauvinistic we have a video about one of the best spanish comic book series by Sanchez Abuli and Jordi Bernet instead.


I have written about the series Jordi Bernet worked on like JONAH HEX or TORPEDO in various posts and in 2018 I wrote two posts : part one which contains the riskier artwork and part two which has all the stuff I would label under boys adventure. From all of his work the only album I still have is CLUSTER and that only because I had a copy in Spain. For those who keep tabs I still haven´t made it to a spanish comic shop and the only comics by Jordi Bernet I ordered through amazon are three italian pocket book that contian the six albums of his adult series CHICCA BANG BANG.


Which are naturally missing the convention sketches I had in my copies.


But since they are in italian I can´t read them ( okay, you don´t really buy this series to read them ) and my uncle has already leafed through them which means that the first one disappeared and the second one is bent.


Back in Germany I had some softcovers, some hardcovers, some floppies as well as the full collection of Jordi Bernet´s TORPEDO 1936 ( which is his best known comic series ) which were five pocket - sized hardcovers.


In Spain all his stories were collected into one complete hardcover edition while the german edition had a lot of additional info and behind the scenes stuff. I almost bought the spanish edition but according to the reader reviews on amazon the printing and the binding is not so good although some claim that they fixed that problem in the latest edition.


Okay NOW I can make a much better segueway since " torpedo " was 1920s slang for a hired gun and " hooker " is slang for a prostitute. Which for me is strange since I still can´t believe that nobody had a problem with the main character of a cop show having the name Hooker. I mean, if they at least would have given the name Hooker to Heather Locklear with the background that it was her nickname it would have made more sense.


In Germany they only talk about Star Trek when they talk about William Shatner as if that was the only big thing he ever did. Which may have something to do with the fact that the second big hit series that William Shatner was on - T. J. Hooker - came very late to Germany and was only on private cable channels. Nevertheless the series is constantly in reruns on some channel in Germany right now so I don´t know why they still ignore it. The third big franchise William Shatner is connected with falls once again in the science fiction genre and it´s the one he created himself : TekWar. From Today´s point of view it looks like an oddity but I was reading comicbooks at that time and this was a really enormous thing.


THERE`S SOMETHING ABOUT HEATHER THOMAS - AND HER BLUE BIKINI

I always was more of a Heather Thomas fan than a Heather Locklear fan because while Heather Locklear looked more like the girl next door she was a bit too wholesome for me. Compared to her Heather Thomas looked like the slutty sex nymphomanic next door which was right down my alley.


Thanks to her absolutely stunning 37C ( ! ) - 23 - 32 measurements and the exposure in The Fall Guy  - where Heather´s main purpose was to keep the male demographic hooked by providing them eye candy and which I religiouly watched because of her and the best set of legs on tv around that time the stunning Markie Post - she became a famous pin up model.


There were posters of Heather Thomas wearing only a very tiny towel in every hormone driven boy's bedroom and she even managed to replace sexy 37D - 24 - 36 pin up queen Raquel Welch on the number one spot !


Which is probably the reason why Heather Thomas did appear in episode 5 of season 4 called " Hardcore Connection " and before you get your hopes up Heather Thomas did not play a porn star as you might think from the title but she does play a hooker. Okay, technically speaking she plays an ex hooker but everybody knows that there is no such thing as an ex hooker.

I AM SUFFERING FROM ( MARKIE ) POST TRAUMATIC SEX SYNDROME !

Now you might think this would be the first time the double D Heather hooter whammy was on our tv screens but they had already appeared together in two episodes of The Fall Guy, episode 22 of the first season called " Scavenger Hunt " and episode23 of the second season called " Just A Small Circle Of Friend " the second one even featuring Power Girl Markie Post as Teri Michaels. Can you say " triple blonde sexbomb overload " ?


I still haven´t truly processed Markie Post´s passing - and I promise to do a proper post when I have the time - so I will make the obligatory Markie Post part as short as possible. In previous post I skipped it but I feel like I should at least include the links to my previous Markie Post tributes for all of my newer followers who sadly have not had the chance to read them.


80s Power Girl Markie Post is probably the best known cult siren on the blog because not only have I done many re - posts of her original post .


I also keep mentioning her in other posts and her original post is in the Top Ten Posts widget that appears on every post. Since I have done so many different versions it is not so tragic that I did not do a re - post last year even though I did the last version of her cult siren entry in 2016 .


BEYOND THE CHARMED LIFE : PUTTING A CITY SPIN ON ALYSSA MILANO

I never saw any episodes of T. J. Hooker because it was shown in Germany around the time when private networks started and they were desperate for material to fill the time slots so they broadcast any old show they got their hands on. And I DID see Heather Locklear in Melrose Place, which I watched because of repentant 36C - 23 - 36 born for porn actress Alyssa Milano with whom she reunited on the set of Michael J. Fox´s Spin City.


Sexbomb Alyssa Milano ( who got two entries on this blog, the main post and the bonus round with her best episodes on CHARMED ) is of course best known as the most charming, sexiest and all around greatest of all the Halliwell witches, Phoebe Halliwell on the cult tv show Charmed.


I did a re - post of Alyssa Milano´s cult siren entry on her birthday in 2016 - and finally did a superpimed version with a plethora of GIFs in 2019 - and it is weird that she is trying to make herself the feminist figurehead of the whole Me Too movement with such actions like a proposal of a sex strike.


SWAMP THINGS, PENTHOUSE PETS AND OTHER WASTED OPPORTUNITIES

Bringing things back to Heather Locklear, as far as comic book movies are concerned she was in the second Swamp Thing movie which I´d have to re - watch to make an adequate statement about the quality of that movie.


What I DO remember is that 34D - 24 - 34 Penthouse Pet Of The Month December in 1982 and Emmanuelle 5 star Monique Gabrielle plays security chief Miss Poinsetta and her role was completely wasted. What a shame !

If you have a famous Penthouse pet and skin flick veteran like Monique in your film a nude scene should be obligatory. I mean, it doesn´t have to be a sex scene - although that would have been nice and Monique more than proved she was born for these kind of scenes in Emmanuelle 5 - but could we at least have one of these annoying kids peeping on her when she is taking a bath ? That way there would at least be a good reason for them to be in the movie : as an excuse to show Monique´s boner - inducing body.


Now I know it´s hard ( and getting harder - and bigger - by the second ! ) to tear your eyes away from Monique Gabrielle´s mouthwatering melons but we must get on with it. Or not. You know what ? Stay as long as you want and I´ll pick you up when you ready. I mean with all the ultimate blow up sex dolls we have had in this post so far - from Karen Witter to Markie Post and not counting Monifa Jansen - if you haven´t shot your load by now you´re overdue for it. All done ? Good. Coming back to the whole cops and robbers theme of this entertainment section we come to the aptly named C. O. P. S. cartoon of which I was only aware because DC Comics did a comicbook adaption with art by Bart Sears who was solely responible for turning Power Girl into the big breasted magic boob window wearing super heroine we all know and love during DC Comics best period.


By the way if this seems familiar that´s because I included it in two posts before it finally landed here. Let´s hope three times is really the charm.


What doesn´t look familiar at all is Cleopatra 2525 and I´m pretty sure I never heard of it. Which makes this episode of Forgotten TV interesting.


IM WALD DA SIND DIE RÄUBER oder DER HÄFTLING VOM SPIELBERG

Coming to the german speaking part of my audience we have a rare find with Famous Bandit Stories From Around The World a czech tv series that found its way to german tv screens in 1986. Like a lot of other movies and tv shows from countries that bordered Germany like Poland, Netherlands, Denmark or Belgium they made up a big part of german entertainment as a lot of people immigrated to Germany and brought their culture with them.


This particular series told the life stories of true bandits from the 18th and 19th century and because it is based on the accounts of that era some of the elements might be embellished. In the episode The Prisoner Of Play Mountain we get the life story of Vaclav Babinsky who through a chain of misfortunate circumstances embarks on a life of crime and becomes a Robin Hood like bandit. One of the reasons why I decided to include it is that it does a good job of showing the discrepancies of the exaggerted accounts in the pulp novels that are published and what really happened.


MADE IN GERMANY COMICHEFTCHEN : ORIGINAL ODER FÄLSCHUNG ?

Speaking of the discrepancies between different versions our next short but sweet video from Crayton ponders the question of buying the original american version of a comicbook vs buying the translated german version.


As longtime followers of the blog know I have written about this at length in various posts but I will do a short resume of my point of view. When I started reading american comics in the original version it was for three reasons. The first and most important one was the availibility since the comicbooks I was interested in reading were not published in Germany or were so far behind the publishing history it would take years to catch up.


Secondly the german comic market is primary a collectors market while the american comic market is for the most part a readers market. Which means that there were no cheap and easily available black and white phone books like Marvel Comics Essential line or DC Comics Showcase Presents sold in Germany so if you wanted that you had to get the original version.


Also they didn´t publish omnibus and have only recently started to catch up. But even putting that aside the original comic is usually 50 percent cheaper ( although this is slowly changing since the prices have skyrocket in the US ) and if you only want a single issue you can get that in the US while in Germany most often than not you have to buy the whole trade.

So for me to buy the german edition it would have been an extremely well done edition or offer something that the original version does not have.


Last but not least there are the translations which is one of my favorite topics. Since I have written about it at length I won´t get into detail but one thing I never understood about german readers is that the same people who claim that the most important part of a comic is the story are the ones who could not care less about the quality of the translation.


MADE IN GERMANY : RÜCKBANKTANGO oder WIR SIND KEINE ENGEL

Originally I wanted to include a different german music video but since I´ve forgotten the name of the band and of the song I couldn´t find it. All I remember is that it was one of these casted bands from the 90s or 2000s - I think - it was an all girl group of between three and five ultimate teen blow up sex dolls and the lyrics of the song had a lot of car - related sexual innuendo like " if you get my motor running you can take me for a test drive, if you want to check out my airbags I can lick the chrome of your tailpipe, I´m ready for a good hard injection " - all in german of course.


Anyway, while looking for the video I fell into the casted bands rabbit hole which brought me to No Angels one of the more successful girl bands.


I somewhat followed them since they were an all girl band - this was still in the period when I was making my special relaxation vhs video tapes of hot women I caught on tv - but not all of the girls in the band were hot like with the Spice Girls. You know, like there are one or two girls who look a 10 or even an 11, one girl who looks like an 8 or 7 and two who look like chopped liver compared to the rest of the group. And you know who is there for the music video and who is there because of their singing ability.


Which doesn´t mean that phenomenal singers can´t be ultimate sexbombs : Janet Jackson , Mariah Carey , Beyonce , Thalia , Madonna, Normani etc.

Hello ?


But if you have girls who are obviously not there because of their good looks you know what´s going on. Anyway, my favorite No Angel member was Vanessa Petruo with Sandy Mölling as a close second who both went on to have solo careers of which Sandy Mölling was a bit more successful.


Now I recall that I WANTED to post her video Unnatural Blonde ages ago but I don´t know if I ever got around to do it. In any case if I didn´t I am hereby rectifying this oversight and if I did it´s due for a re - post anyway.


I remember that because of her skimpy second outfit they only showed the music video on german music tv channel VIVA after midnight and I had to stay up late to tape it. The outfit - coupled with Sandy´s dancing skills - also earned her the nickname of " the german Britney Spears " for a brief period of time. Well, until somebody more fitting to that title came along.


As longtime followers of the blog know I don´t like to spend much time on negative emotions so I thought instead of detailing all of the things that went wrong since I came here ( which would take too much time anyway ) why not feature some of the breast things Spain has to offer ? Massitas !


And we start with literal 38B ( !!! ) - 25 - 33 cult siren Marta Sanchez who rose to boob fame when she became the front woman for pop group Olé Olé which besides making her famous turned her into one of the biggest sex symbols not only in Spain but the entire latin world during the 1980s.


I have posted videos of Marta Sanchez before but since some of them have been deleted since and I never really wrote much about the blonde iberic Busenwunder I decided to include more of her in the next posts.

We start off our Marta Sanchez retrospective with one of her best outfits and I´m counting the first two videos as one here because it´s from the same show. Only the second video has more than just one song and by the time I finish this post one of them might be already deleted if not both of them so it might be a moot point. I think the second live appearance has the deepest plunging cleavage of all her outfits and I picked the third live performance because in this one Martha Sanchez really shows why people call her the spanish Marilyn Monroe. I´m not going to say much about the fourth video but daimn, I never wanted to be a microphone so bad in my life. Britzki ! ( private joke ) To close things out I don´t know what it is with the last video but her legs look so inviting that you just want to spread them and give it to her until you can´t get it up anymore. This ultimate man - milking machine really knows how to wear a dick out !


Okay, it´s official now : I have run out of spanish cartoon videos to post.

There are one or two left but I am already scraping the bottom of the barrel with Dino Riders and unless I find more soon that´s it with spanish cartoon videos. Which might be for the best because that way I might be able to save a lot of time not having to think about which one would fit the topic of the post. And so might finish my posts that much faster. Also we still have two cartoon videos per post - one in english and one in german - which isn´t too bad. We don´t always need three now, do we ?


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He never was Alec Holland.