With four posts still to finish I should not start a new one but you know the drill, while putting all the bells and whistles on my KARATE KID VERSUS EVERYBODY post a part of the bonus section has become too long so I need to cut that and add it to a new post. And as it so happens, while writing that post I finished preparing all the material for my Larry Hama / Marc Silvestri WOLVERINE post so I thought no time like the present.
Epecially since I have another tribute post for a comicbook creator who passed this year pending with Tim Sale which would make it three of these posts in a row and I don´t want my readers to get too depressed.
So to switch things up a bit - and I hope that I can do a post of a lighter mood between the tribute posts for Neal Adams and George Perez soon - I decided to do my first spotlight post on the excellent WOLVERINE run by Larry Hama, who just celebrated his 73rd birthday on the 7th of June.
That´s right, the artist on that impeccable run was none other than Marc Silvestri and while I did two posts on his run on UNCANNY X - MEN and one on CYBERFORCE so far I have only mentioned his run on WOLVERINE with Larry Hama in some posts . Now for the art pages I selected for this post I went in chronological order firstably because that way it is less confusing and secondly because that way I can include pages which feature Storm.
Daimn, Marc Silvestri really draws a stunning Storm. I think that is one of the reasons why the skintight full body leather costume with the puffed sleeves and the broad 90s shoulder pads is one of my favorite costumes.
Man, I have no idea what happened here because in the comics Storm is one of the most badass X - Men members while in the movies she never got to do much of anything. And they had all natural 34E - 24 - 36 afro - american aphrodite Halle Berry a.k.a. the sexiest woman on the freaking planet for crying out loud. They could have done so much more with her.
Longtime blog followers know that when I make these BLACK AND WHITE posts I always add the corresponding color art to the original art pages and that I usually use pages with the best quality. In this instance however I opted for pages of a lesser quality because they had the color of the original printed comicbooks because that is how I first read these issues.
The child android / killer robot Elsie Dee was one of the more interesting characters that Larry Hama came up with ( although I found it quite difficult to read her dialogue at times ) during his run on the book and it´s a testament to his writing abilities that he could do a 180 switch from heartfelt drama to laugh out loud comedy with her at the drop of a hat.
We are starting Today´s entertainment section pondering the question of re - reading comics. Which is fitting because I have re - read Larry Hama´s WOLVERINE run a few times, the last one just recently when I bought it in trade paperback. Now I always thought that everybody does that - since for me that is the whole point of a comicbook collection : collecting all the issues and then when you have finally gotten them all you read them again from start to finish - but I might be in the minority with that one. Also I thought the idea of re - reading a comic would be quite natural but it seems to me that comicbooks are no longer bought to be enjoyed to the max and either seen as quick entertainment or a valuable investment to be sold at a higher price later. In the first case it will be read only once in the second case not at all because that would diminish the resale value.
Now the very question in this entire debate I have is what about the art ?
It´s true, a comicbook is first and foremost produced to be read but the art is an integral part of the experience and if you completely take it out of the discussion you have already failed. Because if you don´t think the art could be a reason to re - read a comicbook you prove that a. ) you don´t understand anything about comicbooks or b. ) you have never read a comicbook with great art. Because if you had you would know that you just want to go over it all again and again taking in every minutae detail.
So why re - read a comicbook ? Counter question : why re - watch a movie or a tv show ? Also, why eat your favorite food instead of trying something new ? I mean, you have already eaten that particular dish. It´s not like you are going to get something new out of this experience. It´s not going to taste different then the last time. And here´s the crux : with comicbooks it CAN be an entirely different experience. For once there are things you might have forgotten because that´s just how the brain works. But even putting that aside it might be different because YOU are not the same.
Your tastes might have changed or what you like in art, you might have learned more about comics as some artists are more of an acquired taste.
You might get references you didn´t understand before or notice things you missed during the last reading because you didn´t pay attention or because you didn´t have the knowledge of the character´s history you have now or your extended life experience changed your point of view.
Whatever the reason, people change so when they experience a work of art - because that is what comics are - at two different points in their life chances are these will be two very different experiences. So for me the question is not why should somebody re - read a comic but rather why would somebody not re - read a comic ( unless it is really bad, in that case you are excused ) ? It seems humans as a species are compelled to re - live happy - and sometimes even painful - experiences some going even so far that they are living in the past. Why should it be different with comics ?
Apropos re - reading comics, I was just about to give up on finding a video with Wolverine that is comic related when I found this. Now am I the only one who loves that a niche series like What If ? gets mainstream attention but at the same time hates that it´s just because of a cartoon ( which I still haven´t watched ) because we all know that doesn´t translate into more comic sales. The only thing we comicbook fans have gotten out of it are some brand new omnibus books of which I bought the first volume.
I should have gotten the first two volumes because they are kind of a package deal but the first one was priced significantly lower and now I can´t spend any money on comicbooks. One of the reasons why I bought the first volume is that before I had to sell my collection I had quite a few that I had bought over the years plus some TRUE BELIEVERS reprints. And that way I could at least recuperate some of them. Anyway, longtime blog followers know that I am a sucker for a good alternate universe - especially an alternate universe in which everybody dies - so What If ? is ultimate fan wish fulfillment. It didn´t always have the best artists ( it was often used as a testing ground for new artists so you can find the first work of some big name artists here ) and sometimes they did not deliver on what they promised readers in the premise but there were some good ones in here.
Speaking of alternate universes that´s how I always regarded the 90s X - Men cartoon because they took a lot of liberties adapting the original source material. Which is the main reason why I hated it at first and it took me a while until I could enjoy it for what it was : a look at the X - Men from another dimension. Because just watching an adaption of all the stories I knew from the comicbooks would not have been as entertaining as following an adventure where I never knew what was going to happen next. Heck, they killed off a team member in the first story just to show you that they mean business. In hindsight I wish I had watched more episodes - especially since they did the only halfway decent adaption of The Phoenix Saga ( of which The Dark Phoenix Saga is only the last part and that is the main reason why Hollywood always get it wrong : they want to reap the payoff without laying the groundwork ) - and while it is much beloved nowadays a lot of people don´t realize how groundbreaking the show was and how many things we take for granted we have the 90s X - Men cartoon show to thank for. Plus it has one of the best theme songs.
A MOVIE RUMMAGE TABLE WITH LYNDA CARTER AND LONI ANDERSON !
We come to something somewhat comicbook related since one of the two actresses in this tv show portrayed DC Comics best known super heroine on tv while the other appeared in the most successful tv series of the 70s starring a Marvel Comics character and played the wife of an actor who had a mega hit in the 80s bringing Robert E. Howard´s best known swords & sorcery hero to the silver screen. Who also was adapted into a comic series by Marvel Comics and this would be his best comicbook series ever.
Now this is one of those rare occassions where you find something you have already given up any hope of being able to showcase it on the blog.
In this case it´s Partners In Crime which features two ultimate sexbombs : divine all natural 38D - 23 - 37 cult siren Lynda Carter and buxom former 38E - 25 - 36 knockout Loni Anderson. That´s right, I´m saying former 38E because sadly she has reduced her breathtaking busticide to a mere 38C.
For me nobody in Hollywood has eclipsed Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman so far which I have elaborated at length in various posts. I wrote the first one way way back in 2011 which I split into two posts. A very short one on Lynda Carter and a longer one on the Wonder Woman tv series of which I did an updated version of with a lot of high quality animated GIFs in 2016.
In 2019 I did a Wonder Woman post with a lot of stuff about Lynda Carter but also some original comicbook pages and in 2020 I even managed to write two Wonder Woman posts, one about Don Heck´s tenure on the book ( which also includes Nubia or how she is more often called Black Wonder Woman ) and one about the Wonder Woman comic Rich Buckler did for Power Records. I still don´t know if this was from a pre - existing comicbook or if Rich Buckler did this exclusively for Power Records. If anybody out there knows please let me know in the comments below.
Now since I have already written so many times about Lynda Carter but only about Loni Anderson two times - none of them cult siren entries - I thought it would be a good idea to take a few moments to go throught the highlights of her vitae. But as usual when ultimate blow up sex dolls like blonde Busenwunder Loni Anderson are involved things got out of hand and I had to cut that part. I decided to still keep the short version here - that way I get to post two episodes of Partners In Crime - and you can find the uncut version with all the juicy details in my new WONDER WOMAN WEDNESDAY post that also includes a plethora of pages from Mike Deodato´s in / famous Black Leather Hooker Outfit Wonder Woman run.
BORN FOR PORN : EARLY BLOOMER LONI ANDERSON ( 37D AT AGE 14 ! )
The blonde bombshell was especially popular with all the boys at her school after she developed an incredible 37D bust at the tender age of 14 but her 37D - 20 - 32 measurements drove all guys in her home town crazy.
Because of her giant boobs she was at first merciless teased by her female classmates but that ridicule turned into envy once Loni began to draw the unwanted attention of first all the boys in her class then all male teachers.
BORN FOR PORN 2 : STRIPPING LONI ANDERSON´S PRIVATE LESSONS !
She worked her way through school by secretly winning beauty pageants by day and stripping under the name of Lay Loni at night and when she was 18 she had to become a teacher to support herself and her new baby.
She tried working as a babysitter but quickly had to give up that career since all of her clients were either pervy guys who looked much younger then they actually were and lied about their age to get Loni to give them an extensive nude full body sponge bath before sleeping in the same bed with them. Which they used to slip her a roofie and relentlessly pound her all night until they couldn´t get it up anymore. Or boys who really were underage but had developed a huge cock and used every dirty trick in the book to get Loni drunk enough to grant them all kinds of sexual favors.
HOT FOR TEACHER : WELCOME TO DEEPTHROAT HIGH SCHOOL LONI !
Not that she had it any easier as a teacher since most of her pupils were prepubescent megahorny boys who tried to take advantage of the fact that Loni was home schooling them and needed the money doing their best to make her change the subject of her classes from english to sex ed.
Even when she managed to persuade them to stick to english their ideas of classic literature was along the lines of Fanny Hill, Lady Chatterly´s Lover, History Of O, Diary Of A Nymphomaniac, Memoirs Of An Ex - Nun With Pent Up Sexual Needs or Joy Of Sex and for film study they went with Russ Meyer movies and tried to re - enact the sex scenes with Loni.
BORN FOR PORN 3 : YOUR BODY WAS NOT BUILT FOR RADIO LONI !
Best known for being married to Burt Reynolds and playing the highly - paid, sexy, intelligent, and incredibly efficient receptionist Jennifer Marlowe on WKRP in Cincinnati which turned her into a sex symbol overnight Loni was hired for the part after a decade of unemployment because the producers saw a photo of her in a stunning red swimsuit.
The show suffered through the Nielsen ratings during its four year run but had a strong and loyal following among teenagers and young adults thanks to it´s main attraction. Later on Loni played Jane Mansfield, the role she was practically born for alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger and appeared in the episode Of Guilt, Models And Murders on The Incredible Hulk tv show.
BORN FOR PORN 4 : TEAMING UP WITH WONDER WOMAN LYNDA CARTER
So it made perfect sense to pair her with ultimate tv sex icon Lynda Carter in Partners In Crime ( whew, you never thought we would get back to this ). The premisse of the show is that both were married to the same man and meet at his funeral. They inherit a mansion and a detective agency and after solving the mistery of his murder they decide to continue the detective agency to pay the mortage on the mansion they inherited.
BORN FOR PORN 5 : A STACKED CAST - BUSENWUNDER LONI ANDERSON
Now before going any further I have to give kudos to any guy - fictional or not - who manages to get married not only to lustful Loni Anderson but also to love machine Lynda Carter. I wouldn´t precisely call it an upgrade to go from Lynda Carter to Loni Anderson because Lynda Carter is one of my all time tv crushes but on the other hand if you have to pick somebody as a substitute for Lynda Carter you better hope to get someone of the calibre of Busenwunder Loni Anderson who has such an incredible body that she was tapped to bring three Hollywood Hall of Boob Fame All Stars to busty live : Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield and Mamie Van Doren.
BORN FOR PORN 6 : A STACKED CAST - NO WONDER BRA FOR LYNDA
Man, no matter why they finally got divorced ( he probably couldn´t keep up with those ultimate men milking machines ) the wedding nights with these incredible sex goddessess must have been beyond epic. Although the term " wedding night " might not be appropriate since he probably didn´t let them leave the bedroom for two weeks during which he fulfilled every wet sex dream he ever had until they completely wore his dick out.
Not to mention the other perks of marriage like coming home after a hard day of work only to find one of these horny dicktamers waiting for him or being able to work out any frustrations in the bedroom. And I don´t mean with his fists but through sweaty sex marathons. Man, can you imagine what a crazy bedroom fury young Lynda Carter must have been between the sheet ? Not only did she have a body that could easily multiply the sales numbers of any adult magazine - as she more than proved in her segment of the 1991 made for tv movie Posing : Inspired By Three Real Stories also known as I Posed for Playboy - with her background as a dancer she was extremely flexible and could not only do the splits at the drop of a hat but also bend her nubile body in all kind of imaginable ways.
By the way, if you haven´t done it by now do yourself a favour and check out Bobbie Joe And The Outlaw which contains the only nude scene of then 25 years old Lynda Carter in her prime. In any case having two of the hottest commodities of that time on the same television show alone should have been worth the price of admission so why did the show tank ?
BORN FOR PORN 7 : LOST IN SYNDICATION - BOOBS vs GOOD WRITING !
Well, besides the two actresses being stoked to work on the project and willing to put their breast foot forward the series was plagued by a literal litany of problems ( all of which you can read at detail in Eric Grigs article The Case Of The Partners In Crime Curse over at POP TRASH MUSEUM ) starting with airing the episodes out of order to capitalize on Vanessa Williams guest - starring in episode two to replacing the original show creator with hacks who turned a character driven show into cheap jiggle tv only interested in sex appeal and amping the T & A factor to the max.
Not that there´s anything wrong with that. If I had been the producer of this there would have been an obligatory 5 minutes minimum bikini scene with both actresses wearing the tiniest bikinis I could get past tv censors in every episode which would have been balls to the walls cleavage fests with the girls going undercover as lingerie models or high class escort girls ( you can´t have women of class like Lynda Carter and Loni Anderson go undercover as simple street hookers since their cover would be instantly blown because they attract a superior clientele without trying too hard ).
But the fact is despite Lynda Carter and Loni Anderson doing their best to entertain while wearing some pretty hot outfits on the show - with Loni Anderson wearing the more revealing ones and even a white bikini in one episode - and having some impressive guest stars the show never got high ratings and only lasted for 13 episodes. Which you now can find on the YouTube channel below which is the whole reason why I put it on the blog.
Now I have never seen the show and I haven´t had the time to watch any of the episodes since I dicovered the channel so I have to hope I picked a good one. Being more a Lynda Carter fan than a Loni Anderson fan I want to pick another episode that showcases her but to give Loni equal time I chose one that shines a spotlight on her breast features and the preview thumbnail should give you a good idea what´s it all about. I hope you will enjoy the episode and as always you never know how long videos will stay on YouTube so you better be quick and watch them before they are gone.
ART IMITATING LIFE : LONI ANDERSON´S INFLUENCE ON COMICBOOKS
Beyond that Loni Anderson had a big impact on pop culture although in a more subtle and lesser known kind of way since a lot of comicbook artists - with John Byrne and Paul Pelletier being the most obvious ones ( the second of which should be no surprise to any comicbook afficionado worth his salt since he started off imitating John Byrne´s style ) - based the look of their female protagonists on Loni Anderson´s facial features.
Especially in Paul Pelletier´s early work you can see the signature traits that mark Loni Anderson as an expert of oral sex : perfect blowjob lipps made to be wrapped around a rock hard erection and those pronounced cheekbones women only get from decades of excessive deepthroating.
BUILT FOR SEX : LONI´S EARLY LIFE or HOW TO GET A HEAD IN SCHOOL
On which Loni Anderson got a "head start " from an young age since her breasts exploded to the aforementioned 37D bust after her 14th birthday which enticed her male classmates to start her oral education. At first they were content with taking turns motorboating her every day during recess in a secluded part of the school yard until groping her boobs was not enough and Loni had to massage their boners with her tits. Naturally it wasn´t long before it turned into the daily recess deepthroat marathon.
At this point three delinquents from her school who were 18 noticed Loni and as soon as they got an eyeful of her overdeveloped 37D double airbags almost popping out of her bikini they decided it was time to take a more active interest in improving her oral skills. So they took advantage of a field trip and tied Loni to the last bench of the deserted bus where they savagely dick - tamed the underage Busenwunder and a buxom teacher who had tried to help her for eight hours until the first students returned.
Once they had broken her resistance they insisted on giving Loni a ride home every day after school. Which included a detour to their club house and especially the soundproof " taming room " they used to " break in " stubborn female teachers with giant breasts, legs for miles almost up to their chin and an ass that won´t quit and underage female students who had developed huge hooters, the younger and more busty the better.
So super stacked Loni was right down their alley and every day they forced her to swallow for hours - a skill set that would come in handy during her college years as the " head " cheerleader but especially in her acting career. With her body Loni was grade a casting couch material.
BUILT FOR SEX 2 : PRIME CASTING COUCH CANDIDATE LONI ANDERSON !
Loni didn´t want to get her roles that way but very few studio execs had much faith in her abilities as an actress so she had to swallow her pride and use what Mother Nature had given her in abundance to get work.
But her pride was not the only thing Loni Anderson had to swallow as every horny guy in Hollywood with a bit of influence lined up to put her pornstar body through the paces once word got out. Loni´s days were completely booked with auditions and they often lasted into the night when they were relocated to the honeymoon suite of a luxurious five star hotel where three influential movie people would take turns pounding her.
Loni was constantly in a horizontal position because even if they planned to give her the role from the start they just couldn´t let the once - in - a - lifetime chance pass to tame an ultimate breed mare like Loni Anderson.
She was destined to be a sextoy because even if there was a decent bloke who hadn´t planned to take advantage of Loni all his good intentions flew out the window as soon as she entered the audition room and he got a look at her spectacular body. Then his most basic instincts would kick in.
And when you think they were eager to get their sweaty pawns on Loni Anderson as a brunette that was nothing compared to the hell that broke loose when Loni changed her hair color to blond and sent those horny serial rapist into a frenzy. At one point things got so far out of control that Loni had to take self defense lessons to fend off their sexual assaults.
Since I mentioned Loni Anderson taking up self defense lessons I want to include a few martial arts videos which also fits in well with Wolverine´s character in the comicbooks. Or better how he used to be written in the classic stories by Chris Claremont since it has been ages since I dived into current X - Men continuity and the only recent X- Men comics I bought are the Giant - Sized X- Men Nr 1 tribute book and Walter Simonson´s issues for X - Men Legends - and none of them tie into the new x - coda either.
Anyway, you may ask yourself how many martial arts videos I still have and the answer is a lot. Our first one is The Last Dragon which took a while to become the cult classic it is Today. I know that the movie is not so well remembered while in Spain it was a huge successs right out of the gate.
Or maybe it only seemed that way since my kid brother is a huge fan of it.
Speaking of martial art cult movies, something I could not fit into my KARATE KID VS EVERYBODY post ( I´m talking about the Karate Kid from The Legion of Super - Heroes here not the one from the movies ) is No Retreat No Surrender - or Karate Tiger how it is called in Germany - so I want to include it here. Just so that no part of my audience feels left out here are the original version and the german and spanish dubbed version.
It would be too much anyway to get back into the Karate Kid post and try to squeeze them in and this way I can find them quicker if I need them.
And if they get deleted one day it´s easier to cut this part of the post.
We come to another thing I had to cut from that post with my favorite music video from aussie actress / singer / sexsymbol Kylie Minogue ( or Die Geile Minogue how she was christened in Germany with geil being the german word for horny so her german name is Horny Minogue ) Gimme Just A Little More Time. The main reasons for not including it in the post were that I already had a music video for the post and that I already had posted it previously. But like I said, it is my favorite Kylie Minogue video - for obvious reasons - and since it has been a few years since I posted it and I have more space in this post I think she is overdue for a re - post.
One of the first music video tapes I got was The Best Of Kylie Minogue because she had some of the best videos around that time including Step Back In Time, Shocked, Better The Devil You Know, What Do I Have To Do and my favorite the aforementioned Give Me Just A Little More Time.
This must have been around 1997 so none of the übersexy music videos like Spinning Around or Can´t Get You Out Of My Head were on this.
Which brings us full circle to asian squirt sensation Duyoo´s incredible under boob wardrobe malfunction. Or better said under boob, over boob and side boob wardrobe malfunction since Duyoo´s bra
is at least two sizes too small and can´t contain her oppai in any way, shape or form.
Daimn, Duyoo was really born for porn and I bet she does not have to ask twice : " Duyoo want a double - breasted deepthroat dick massage ? " I mean, which red blooded straight guy would even hesitate one moment ?
After the obligatory K - Pop section it´s back to martial arts with Jackie Chan´s Mr. Nice Guy, one of his movies that don´t get a lot of play. If that is deserved or not is up to you to decide and I´m sure you will come to a more grounded verdict after watching Today´s episode of Forgotten TV.
What is beyond any doubt is that the episode with El Toro Fuerte - who was called El Toro Rojo in Germany for some reason - is the best episode ever of Jackie Chan Adventures. Man, I had almost forgotten this show existed. One thing I liked about the cartoon is that it brought back the cheesy 80s trope where the main character addresses the audience, but instead of obnoxious preachy sermons like " Now remember to eat your vegetables, kids, because crime doesn´t pay. " he answered questions kids had sent in. That part was extremely difficult to watch in Germany because the german networks are no fans of the credits and try to cut them whenever they can so they can move on to the next cartoon show.
The next video was another surprising one for me because while I can´t say " I grew up with 80s Hong Kong action movies " since I was pretty much grown up by the time I was old enough to watch them they definitely are a big part of my misspent youth. To give Today´s kids who grew up with the instant accessibility of Netflix, Disney + and other streaming platforms an idea : back then if you wanted to watch a movie that was no longer in movie theaters you either hoped it was on tv - which would normally take a few years - or you had to wait until it was released as a videotape. You could rent them at videostores and you would drive miles to get there.
We had a few in our vicinity and every weekend we would make the trek to find the newest blockbusters or at least some entertaining movie we hadn´t seen before. There was one particular videostore where you would get 3 movies for 9 Deutschmarks for the whole weekend and we´d rent 6 up to 15 movies each weekend. With that amount of movies on a weekly basis you were bound to run out of new releases and had to look for other movies that might look interesting. With martial art movies there were only so many American Ninja or Chuck Norris movies so after you watched the obligatory Bruce Lee movies sooner or later you fell into the whole Hong Kong action movie rabbit hole with such stars like Cynthia Rothrock, Michelle Yeoh or Jackie Chan. And I guess it was this way for most people from my generation. Now I know the majority of the american audience never heard of Jackie Chan before Rumble In The Bronx and that they do prefer to remake a movie before reading subtitles ( since for some strange reason they are unable or at least unwilling to dub movies like the rest of the world does ) but I thought being a well established action star with Today´s viewers more people would be willing to check out Hong Kong movies. Because some of Jackie Chan´s best movies were made there.
Apropos Cynthia Rothrock and Michelle Yeoh, here is one of the best and most iconic fight scenes of 80s Hong Kong action cinema, the final battle from Yes, Madam ! a. k. a. Ultra Force 2 a. k. a. In The Line Of Duty 2.
We have another very interesting behind the scenes video with Cynthia Rothrock - especially since this was her first Hong Kong production - and like I said in previous posts, if you like that kind of content check out her channel as well as my second post about Joe Staton´s GREEN LANTERN where I wrote more about her and Tiger Claws, the first movie where she got to show off her new and improved 34C ( ! ) - 25 - 34 measurements.
Cynthia Rothrock and her new busticicles go undercover as a hooker to catch a pervert at the beginning of the movie - and only the beginning.
I was always a bit disappointed that we didn´t get to see more of Cynthia Rothrock´s stunning physique with less clothing in her movies but it was totally not her fault. As I only learned much later Cynthia Rothrock always wanted to do riskier scenes and was willing to show more skin ( After all what is the use of training your hardbody to physical perfection if you can´t show it ? Especially if you are an actress where your body is one of your main factors determining what roles you get and what you are paid. ) but that her agent always vetoed it who for some inexplicable reason thought it would hurt her market value as a female martial arts star if she did nude scenes. Thankfully Cynthia did manage to get her way in many Femme Fatales issues much to the delight of all her drooling male fans.
And she was finally allowed to strut her stuff on screen in movies like Fatal Passion, Undefeatable and especially Sworn To Justice which does not only star Cynthia in the title role of a woman out on revenge but also was produced by her. So you know that it is going to kick ass. It also shows ass since the top heavy blonde is aware what movie goers want and so shows a lot of her body. She even serves up a brief look at her twin trophies in a lovemaking scene. It’s her only skin on screen to date, so enjoy it guys !
Now just so you don´t think I have forgotten the second part of this dynamic duo here is a appearance of Michelle Yeoh on Late Night with Conan O´Brien from 1996. She has been getting a lot of attention because of Crazy Rich Asians and Everything Everywhere All at Once but for me it´s kind of crazy that the majority of the american audience knows her first and foremost as a serious actress and is only now discovering her secret past as one of the biggest female action stars in the 80s and 90s.
From the dynamic duo of Cynthia Rothrock and Michelle Yeoh we come to The Deadly Duo as Brandon Tenold takes us back to the historical martial arts madness the Shaw Brothers were famous for throughout the 1970s.
Well, as entertaining as Brandon´s Cult Movie Reviews are they are no substitute for watching a movie and I guess at this point you are more than tired of just hearing about films and are ready for the real thing.
As usual I wanted to give it the little something something extra that my adoring public is expecting from me so in keeping with the theme of this bonus section I thought : " What could be better than a martial arts Shaw Brothers cult movie from the 70s ? " How about a 70s movie that mixes up martial arts and vampires and never had a theatrical release in the United States ? You doubt that such a movie exists ? Well get out your cup noodles and sharpen your wooden stakes because The Legend Of The 7 Golden Vampires a. k. a. The 7 Brothers Meet Dracula not only does that it also stars Peter Cushing as the legendary vampire hunter Professor Van Helsing.
For my german speaking readers who also understand english this turns into a martial arts double feature with 1996´s Tiger Heart and I honestly can´t say which is the better movie. This is one of those films I never expected to find on YouTube because I couldn´t remember the title and I was really stoked when this popped up in my suggestions so please forgive the low quality. Like I said, I couldn´t recall much of the film - which does have a pretty generic movie title - and the only reason why I remember this movie is teenage 38C - 24 - 33 Busenwunder Jennifer Lyons who must have been 19 at that time and already had an impressive rack at that age.
Her participation in the film is the only redeeming value of the movie and the reason why watching it was always a guilty pleasure for me. She looks best in the scene in the shop wearing jeans and a t - shirt - which she is stretching out quite a lot with her uncontrollable teenage tits - because there is a completely wasted bikini scene in the movie where Jennifer is having a pool party with her girlfriends and unfortunately she is wearing a bikini that doesn´t do her any favors. Besides having an awful design this swimwear from hell does not fit her body type and basically makes her overdeveloped funbags look small. I swear you won´t believe this is the same girl and she looks more like her own younger and flatchested sister.
On the other hand I know next to nothing about Power Stone, only that it involves fighting, it´s dubbed in german and the first twelve episodes.
We are coming back to more familiar territory with latin mega star Thalia whose music videos I have included in countless post and who is not only one of my favorite singers or favorite performers but one of my favorite persons on the planet. For those new to the blog you should definitely check out her - more than deserved - cult siren entry that I wrote in 2017.
Staying in the latin hemisphere we have the history of spanish comics and I think the different censorship that every country experienced had a huge impact on shaping the kind of comicbooks each country would get.
In Spain - much like in Germany - the biggest wave of censorship occured during World War II and was instigated by faschist dictators - Franco and Adolf Hitler - but while it happened in Spain against the will of the general populace in Germany most citizens actually welcomed the purge of this so - called entartete literature. And even to this day when you are having discussions about comicbooks and censorship there is always somebody who argues that ultimately there HAS to be somebody who controls what citizens - even citizens who are of legal age to drink, drive, vote and get themselves killed in service of their country - are being allowed to read.
That´s why Spain is so open about profanity, nudity and sex in comics ( for them surpressing that is a violation of civil rights ) and why Germany is not and has always had big issues with censorship ( for them it is a question of control and most people in Germany still have the mindset that the citizens are subject to the state´s will and not the other way around as it should be ). As for Amerika, as most comicbook afficionados worth their salt know their biggest federal institution of censorship was self - imposed and served two purposes : to ensure the continuation of their companies in spite of a mass hysteria blaming juvenile delinquency on comicbooks even if it meant actually neutering them and to drive the biggest innovator of comics who outsold the rest of the comic industry out of business. They successfully drove EC Comics out of comic publishing but paid a heavy price as the american comicbooks stagnated creatively for many decades and they still have to catch up to the rest of the world.
We are continuing our journey through german girl bands of the 90s with Tic Tac Toe ( or like we used to call them back then Fick Fack Blow ) a group who had limited success trying to sell themselves off as kind of anti - girl band but that went down in flames as little by little the truth came out.
First that the group´s formation did not happen at a rap contest where one of the girls was the only female contestant and the other two on the spur of a moment jumped onto the stage to back her up but through a casting process. Over time more and more lies were revealed - like that they all had lied about their age - and after the boyfriend of one of the band members committed suicide because of his drug problems it was revealed that she had worked as a prostitute to finance his drug habit.
The whole " schtick " of the group was jumping on the feminist " female empowernment by blaming all the ills in the world on men " bandwaggon - which was already an old cliche back then - as you can clearly see in their music videos like Mister Wichtig ( Mister Important ). I didn´t really follow them or better said I didn´t follow two of them as there is always that hot one in the group who looks like a freaking blow up sex doll and in this case it´s afro german aphrodite Ricarda Priscilla Nonyem Wältken a. k. a. Ricky a. k. a. Was reimt sich auf Ricky ? who was just oozing sex appeal with her sculpted nubian body who everybody wanted to grab by the dreadlocks !
Subsequently she got naked for the german edition of the PLAYBOY which was not surprising since she was the only band member guys would pay for to see naked. What was surprising was that she was NOT the one who had worked - however briefly - as a prostitute because she was born for porn.
Anyway, Today´s video is Verpiss Dich ( Piss Off yeah that was the kind of male bashing songs they did ) and I´m not quite sure why I picked this.
Oh yeah, now I remember the reason for choosing this video : rack - tastic chocolate men milking machine Ricky all wet in the rain doing sexually suggestive moves. Plus the second least annoying band member Marlene Victoria ( Fick - toria is not really a good name for a girl in Germany ) is also displaying some serious boobage here. I think this is Jazzy´s breast performance in any of their music videos but I might be wrong there.
After the band disbanded she tried a solo career and dabbled in acting before trying to restart Tic Tac Toe as a two girl act with Ricky. Ricky for her part studied Cosmetology and absolved her higher learning certificate before also trying her hand at acting and a career in music. She also tried to become a teacher but she had to drop her studies when she learned that - much like blonde 38C - 25 - 36 boob queen Loni Anderson - her math students were more interested in submitting the unsuspecting wet sex dream to an extensive unannounced oral exam before penetrating Ricky´s tight isoceles triangle with their huge square roots while her evangelican professors emphasized the missionary position in her missionary studies.
But what happened to Lee, the most annoying one ? Nobody knows and nobody cares because she didn´t get a wikipedia entry. They tried to find her for the reunion gig but nobody has seen or heard of her since 2010 .
Closing out my german nostlgia trip we have a real treat on our hands : a complete episode of Dalli Dalli hosted by one of the greatest showmaters - or how they called them in Show mit Yps Showmeister - in german tv, the great late Hans Rosenthal. The concept of the show was pretty simple - like the name implies this was a show for quick thinkers - but his charm and athletismn ( How many people from my generation still remember his signature " Sie sind der Meinung das war Spitze ! " jump ? ) made every installment of the show an event. Of course they also had the Who´s Who of german showbiz as guests and I think I picked a good one because in this episode the guests are Freddy Quinn, Horst Buchholz and german 36C - 22 - 36 Busenwunder Elke Sommer whose deep cleavage in Karl May´s Winnetou movie Unter Geiern left a lasting impression on little Subzero.
We are back to the asian persuasion part of the bonus section with three videos of 37 H ( !!! ) - 23 - 34 bikini Busenwunder Minami Wachi ( at least I hope they are all of her - although the idea of having more than one asian penetration sensation with that build does have its appeal ) and this is a pretty good example of the randomness of the age restrictions on YouTube because I have found at least one video with the same content - not a similar content but the SAME content - that has an age restriction.
Coming back to martial arts, the most recognized person in that field is of course the man, the myth, the legend, the immortal but late Bruce Lee.
Thankfully the nice fellas over at Ayer Nomas have dedicated an entire episode to the life and times of Bruce Lee and what makes him such an unforgettable icon of not only martial arts but of pop culture in general.
Speaking of Bruce Lee, Quentin Tarantino has gotten a lot of flack for his betrayal of Bruce Lee in Once Upon A Time In Hollywood with some people going so far as claiming that Quentin hates Bruce Lee. Now I am neither an expert on Bruce Lee, Quentin Tarantino or films but I want to throw two things into the discussion. First off you have to keep in mind that Once Upon A Time In Hollywood is not an account of real events and everything that happens in the movie is told from the perspective of this stunt guy.
He is the narrator of the movie and we get to see things filtered through his lens so of course in his story he is the hero and whups Bruce Lee´s ass.
Secondly if Quentin Tarantino really hated Bruce Lee he would not have made an entire movie - and especially not an entire movie that is so long that he had to split it into Kill Bill Vol 1 and Kill Bill Vol 2 - that is one big metatextual homage to Bruce Lee´s work, life and death now, would he ?
Man, it feels like I have been working on this post forever when in fact I started it only 2 months and 9 day ago but every time I finished another part it just kept getting longer and longer. Even after cutting it twice the post is still ridiculously long but I am just too tired to go in once again to see if there is anything I can put into a spin - off post. I just want to get over with this and then tackle the next post. But I can´t finish without the obligatory cartoon video for my spanish audience and in keeping with the theme of most of the entertainment section Today´s pick is the first episode of Samurai Pizza Cats which combines the best of three worlds.
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The happiest people don´t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything they have.
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