TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: February 2024

Again posts lead to other posts which leads to even more posts. After my work on my newest tribute post for mexican telenovela booty queen Aylin Mujica and the bonus post were seriously sabotaged by YouTube deleting all the episodes of Marina ( so I hope you watched them while they still were up ) - which was the main reason why I made those posts in the first place - I had to completely overhaul these posts ( thankfully I included enough material from mexican adult magazine EL MIL CHISTES in the bonus post so that it could stand on its own ) plus my Weissblech Comics tribute post ( which is where the whole thing started ) so there were not that many new posts ( plus I just had to replace a dozen films that have been deleted which got rid of quite a few good ones but on a positive side MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD and THE FIFTH ELEMENT are back and we can welcome THE SUBSTITUTE with Tom Berenger ) but while I was working on the bonus section of my post about the forgotten pre Captain Marvel Miss Marvel Carol Danvers ( which was a spin - off from my DAZZLER post ) the part about the one true real female Captain Marvel - Monica Rambeau - got longer and longer and the more work I put in the more I realized how much I love AVENGERS 227 and that it would be a real shame to bury it all in the bonus section of another post.

I have one more link to add before wrapping the whole Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel instead of Miss Marvel thing up since our good pal Brian Cronin has a new entry in his Comic Book Dictionary series over at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES called Monica Rambeau And The Benefits Of Chronical Privilege where he tries to explain the fact that Carol Danvers got a lot of backlash when she was presented as the newest female and bestest Captain Marvel ever while Monica Rambeau never got the same reaction.

He mentions that there are a lot of cases where BIPOC characters have usurped the mantle of longstanding caucasian white male characters who got a lot of backlash from longtime comicbook readers and that - again - this was not the case with Monica Rambeau. BUT then Brian completely misses the point and goes on a rant about what he calls " chronical privilege " that is complete bs. Now before we get any further I have to explain one thing. Two things if you are a guy like me who is not in the loop with acronyms the media uses to marginalize people.

Because then you are going " What the heck is BIPOC ? Sounds like a disease. " but it's not. It is a new term to separate even more people from caucasian white guys by calling them Black or Indigenous or People Of Color instead of specifying about which part of non white people you are talking. First of all I find it very telling that even with the need to coin a new term to unite all people who are oppressed by whitey black people are still mentioned first instead of just being included in the part of people of color. All people in this acronym are oppressed but black people are even more oppressed by them than the other people of color.

Second why can't the cancel pigs just say " everybody who is not white but including white people as soon as they belong to an indigenous tribe " if that is clearly what they want to say here. Second what the frikk is " chronal privilege " ? That sounds just like a very fancy way of not saying " nostalgia " because that old argument has been debunked ad infinitum.

Well, Brian's theory here is that people react differently to things that happened BEFORE they started reading comics than things that happen WHILE they are reading comics. So because Monica Rambeau became Captain Marvel BEFORE a lot of people started reading comicbooks and was Captain Marvel and a member of the Avengers already WHILE they were reading comicbooks they don't feel she usurped the mantle of Captain Marvel and thus they are okay with her. And that's why she gets a hall pass. Which is a nice theory but of course it is completely bogus.

According to that theory Monica could never be one of my favourite Avengers. Because while Mar - Vell was the first Captain Marvel BEFORE I started reading comics he still was the only Captain Marvel ( at least in the Marvel universe we also had the original Billy Batson Captain Marvel at Fawcett Comics ) WHILE I began my comicbook journey. As longtime followers of the blog know I am a huge Gene Colan fan no matter if he was drawing THE TOMB OF DRACULA written by Marv Wolfman and inked by Tom Palmer or DAREDEVIL or DOCTOR STRANGE and he was the first artist on CAPTAIN MARVEL. Which I read in the german translations.

Later on there were other great creators on the title like Gil Kane who changed his old costume to the iconic 70s version and they also paid homage to the Billy Batson Captain Marvel by having him switch places with Rick Jones. Captain Marvel was also in a few very iconic stories like when Thanos made him old and decrepit but he managed to shatter the cosmic cube Thanos was using and so defeated Thanos and got young again or when Thanos killed Adam Warlock to get his soul gem so he could use it and a few other infinity gems ( the term infinity stones was invented much later ) to conquer the universe and the Avengers and all of the heroes of Earth had to team up to stop him but in the end it was Spider - Man and Adam Warlock who returned from death who saved the day or in the graphic novel The Death Of Captain Marvel by Jim Starlin .

There are just decades of great lore with Captain Mar - Vell. Which I loved. So according to Brian Cronin I should have shipped MY Captain Marvel instead of liking this new Captain Marvel who not only was female but also black. And you can read my post on her first appearance here .

So why do people like me like Monica Rambeau instead of complaining that she is stealing Mar - Vell's thunder ? I can't speak for everybody but my first introduction was NOT her first appearance but rather issue 227 of AVENGERS and I have to put things into perspective for my readers.

Back then I was still living in Germany and we didn't get many american comicbooks especially in the small town where I lived. Now as I have recounted many times I had the luck to go to school in the next big city Ludwigsburg for which I had to use public transportation and at the big bus stop at the city hall there was a newsstand where you could buy all kinds of stuff from beverages to tobacco, pulp magazines, magazines like PLAYBOY, regular magazines, books, pocket books and even comicbooks.

Normally just the usual comicbooks that you would get at newsstands, paper shops or Mom and Pop shops but one day they also had american comicbooks. As some of my readers from the US may know there were many american soldiers stationed in Germany at that time because of the cold war and naturally a lot of these G.I.s read comicbooks and so sometimes the comics found their way to regular german newsstands.

Not that many compared to the output of german comicbooks but we were young and desperate and hungry for anything new so that we snatched up the few US comics very quickly. Well, one of those comics was AVENGERS 227 and it was one of those issues in - between all the regular big storyline that nobody seems to be able to write nowadays.

Today everybody is writing for the trade and focusing on the big story arc - when they are not busy contemplating if gay Iceman would be the top or bottom half of the gay Iceman / Hercules couple - so they have no time to let the characters breathe. Anyway, the issue is written by Roger Stern, penciled by Sal Buscema ( my favourite HULK artist especially with Ernie Chan ) and inked by Brett Breeding who also does the cover.

And while we have a complete recap ( no pun intended ) of Hank Pym's career as an Avenger up to the point where he landed in jail ( which is where he is in this issue ) plus Hawkeye struggling with the influx of new and mostly female new members, Tony Stark feeling bad about how he used the Wasp Janet Van Dine as his blow up sex doll while her husband was in jail before telling her that he was Iron Man , She Hulk ( who has a fun and interesting character in this instead of a conceited alcoholic who blames men for all the trouble she does not have as a successful attorney and member of the Avengers ) contemplate job offers and the Wasp having dinner with Mister Fantastic and the Invisible Girl ( John Byrne would later change her name to the Invisible Woman ) the book opens with Captain Marvel giving a demonstration of her powers and Janet Van Dyne inviting Monica to become a member of the Avengers.

Which she doesn't take for granted like Today's toxic feminist super heroines would do plus unlike modern women she doesn't discard men just because they are male so one of the first things she does is watch the records of the Avengers on the first Captain Marvel. Which is not a name she herself chose by the way but what other people start calling her. And when she found out that somebody else had used the name of Captain Marvel before her and died just recently she also didn't make any snide remarks about good riddance of toxic masculinity. So I guess that I like Monica Rambeau because she was an interesting empathic character that was well written and it felt like she was a good addition to the Avengers because she was not only there to further some agenda.

So while Brian Cronin lays the blame for the failure of Carol Danvers Captain Marvel not connecting with readers like Monica Rambeau did solely on this ill - advised version of nostalgia I think that it is just a case of bad writing. Speaking of which I find it interesting how much Roger Stern managed to cram into one issue when in Today's comic industry it would take up an entire six issue arc. Hank Pym's backstory alone would take up at least two issues. Anyway, I think I have made my point clear ( if there is anybody left reading my ramblings at this point ) and you can find more on Roger Stern's AVENGERS and Monica Rambeau in my Top Ten John Buscema AVENGERS covers series which I hope to continue someday.

But that may be very far off since I not only lost all of my old picture archive I also have no idea which ones were the remaining 3 AVENGERS covers I was saving for the next posts. And yes, if you have checked out that series of posts you might have noticed that the first one is about the top ten John Buscema covers, then the top five and then the top four as I kept working my way through the list ( and covering less and less covers as the series kept progressing ) until only three remained.

As longtime followers of TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN know I am a huge fan of John Buscema's second run on AVENGERS with inker Tom Palmer and so far I have covered the INFERNO tie - ins especially the 300th anniversary issue which took me three attempts until I finally nailed it .

The other BIG storyline I have waxed philosophic about is ASSAULT ON OLYMPUS - of which I had the hardcover - in which Zeus declares war on the Avengers because of the injuries Hercules ( who at that point was neither bi - sexual nor gay, thank the gods ) and earth's mightiest heroes have to go toe to toe against the greek gods. I wrote about this free - for - all slobberknocker mostly in two spotlights about writer Roger Stern but also in one of my - then - usual bonus section bits turned spin - off posts . Another big storyline from Roger Stern's AVENGERS run I was hoping to revisit was of course the elephant in the room UNDER SIEGE which is only one of the best if not THE best Avengers story of all times.

So far I have just about enough original artwork for another post on John Buscema's second AVENGERS run but it will not be UNDER SIEGE exclusive and we will probably also go over Walter Simonson's short stint on the title which he would later revisit during his fabulous run on FANTASTIC FOUR. Of which I luckily got the Artist Edition at amazon Spain with a nice discount since those prices are completely out of hand nowadays.

But since I already wrote about that topic at length in previous posts I won't get into that now. Back to Walter Simonson's run on FANTASTIC FOUR I stated in previous posts that he wrote the first part of that story during his stint on AVENGERS which may give some readers the false impression that it was all part of some grand design. That is not what happened. When Walter Simonson was brought in after Roger Stern left the book his mission was to break up the Avengers so they could have the re - assemblage after the INFERNO crossover just in time for issue 300.

So that's what he did and there were no plans to continue that story.

That is until Walter Simonson was asked to take over FANTASTIC FOUR - writing and drawing this time - and decided to use some of the dangling plot points from his time on the AVENGERS. Anyway, coming to the point of this long ramble the Avenger Walter Simonson used to break up the Avengers was Doctor Druid, a recent addition to the team's roster in the aftermath of UNDER SIEGE and because of that he was always clashing with Captain Marvel Monica Rambeau - who at that time had become the Avenger's second female team leader after Janet Van Dyne a. k. a. The Wasp - until he managed to mind control her to give up the leadership.

While Doctor Druid has - somewhat - redeemed himself after that it is the biggest blemish on his career as a superhero and Avenger and the sole reason that most comic readers, afficionados and critics consider him as the worst Avenger ever even surpassing the Swordsman and that's saying something. For those who cannot wait until I can cover this period in the Avenger's history you can get all the juicy details of Doctor Druids rise and fall from grace in this instalment of Brian Cronin's Beg Steal Or Borrow at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES and you also might check out my top five and four John Buscema AVENGERS covers posts where I do a deep dive into the history - and also very racist origin story - of Doctor Druid.

captain videos

stuff

links

videos

hank

ant

contact

mom

avatar 2

tek war the movie

failed

end

dc comics

puppets

number one

crazy

movie clip version

What surprised me is that this video does not have an age restriction since YouTube is usually very strict about showing naked boobs and this does not only have italian 40D - 24 - 36 sex symbol Sabrina " Bouncing Action " Salerno's famous nipple slip on spanish tv on New Year's Eve 1988 ( you can read more about that in my post on Bill Mantlo's CROSSROADS saga ) but also ultimate 80s 35C - 25 - 35 wet sex dream Phoebe Cates famous topless scene from Fast Times At Ridgemont High ( although her nude scenes in Paradise were more explicit ) plus living 38B - 24 - 33 blow up sex doll Joyce Hyser's boob flash from Just One Of The Guys.

THE POINT OF FLASHING : A JOYCE THAT MADE MOVIE HISTORY !

And to think she almost didn´t do it. Joyce had a no nudity clause in her contract and was against showing her wonder twins especially after a female friend told her : " Honey, WITH THOSE BREASTS if you GO TOPLESS in that scene, NO ONE you meet will EVER look you INTO YOUR EYES again ." Thankfully Joyce Hyser shot the scene showing her breasts and without showing them and in the end decided the scene did not work if she didn´t go topless. This is what I call " poetry in motion ".

So the thanks of an entire generation of hormone driven boys is yours for logic winning over superstition. Or naked breasts winning over whatever.

picard

lenora

sequels

90s

yaltus

blooper

same outfit no blooper daimn that short short skirt though

legs for miles

daimn that skirt

nice skirt

schoolgirl outfit

knights and warriors hd tug o warrior with venom

oh captain my captain

big willy style

ONCE YOU HAD BLACK YOU NEVER GO BACK or FRESH TITS OF BEL AIR

Of course he is best known from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air where he got to star alongside afro american 40C - 22 - 35 aphrodite Tatyana Ali.

She played Ashley Banks and was a big part of that show´s success and continued appeal around the world ( there are only a few people who can´t recite the title song in their sleep ) as she grew from a cute little girl into an incredible teenage sexmachine in front of the entire planet.

Much to the chagrin of the show´s producers she really bOObed all out in movie appearances like The Clown at Midnight or Fall Into Darkness.

Now Will Smith has gone on record that the relationship between him and the insanely do - able Tatyana Ali has always been like between a big brother and his little sister but I don´t believe he never put Tatyana's blooming and booming tireless teenage body to the test not even once.

Either that or the relationship between a big brother and his little sister and what happens between them at night behind bedroom doors ( or in the shower during the day ) is a lot different where Will Smith grew up.

To tell the truth if I would have been in Will Smith´s position I would have relentlessly tamed Tatyana Ali in all the positions especially if we felt like brother and sister but we were not related. Heck, I probably would have tapped that even if she had been my real sister. It must be one of the most incredible displays of willpower ( no pun intended but that would be a great title for an autobiography ) that he didn´t pound her blossoming teenage porn body into submission six ways to Sunday.

Daimn, nubian wet sex dream Tatyana Ali definitely has one of the best all natural ( ! ) racks in Hollywood and she still looks absolutely terrific.

The only other explanation for not using Tatyana Ali as his personal blow up sex doll during every break until she became his willing sex slave is that whenever Tatyana got Will hard enough to cut a diamond he vented his pent up sexual energy on one of the other blow up sex dolls on set.

Like buxom dicktamer Yunoka Doyle who played Ashley Banks´ early blooming bosom buddy Keesha - with a big emphasis on the bosom part - and probably spent the rest of the day after everybody else had left screaming at the top of her huge lungs as Will banged her brains out.

bubbele

besucher

korvac almost an hour

toxic

phoenix

crusaders

mutants

juliana moreira

Now this is where I left things off in the first version but seeing as we have more space here I absolutely have to include italian all natural 40E ( !!! ) - 24 - 35 Busenwunder Juliana Moreira who certainly would make a most stunning Jessica Rabbit. At first I was a bit hesitant to put her in this post but seeing how all of the clips with her on Cultura Moderna I posted previouly have been deleted - and it has been more than a year since her last appearance - it is about time for an encore performance.

Juliana Moreira could teach the girls of Russ Meyer´s grindhouse classic Faster Pussycat ! Kill ! Kill ! a few things about sexy go go dance moves.

Especially her patented boob thrust technique which is guaranteed to give even gay men a huge erection. As longtime followers of the blog know I am a huge fan of those boob bouncing thrusting dance moves.

While a lot of the videos don´t have the best quality thankfully the video with Juliana´s breast moment has excellent quality. There is no sound but besides that it´s a - okay. In the video Juliana goes into full Sabrina Salerno mode on her male tv audience as - much like the italian 38DD - 24 - 26 cult siren with the inbuilt bouncing action who put the pop in pop music in her famous video Boys Boys Boys - Juliana´s top surrenders with trying to contain her super - sized boobies and shows a lot of nipplage !

Now I am not sure if this rates as a wardrobe malfunction since those are supposed to be unintentionally and Juliana Moreira must have tried out the bikini top beforehand and so must have known what would happen.

I always try to bring my readers the best material but while I did find a lot of videos with her most of the downloads had expired. Thankfully a few still work ( in green bikini / dark blue outfit / red and white outfit ).

Faced with the dilemma of either spending a lot of time on making GIfs that had Julianas best moves but were of poor quality and spending the same amount of time on making some GIFs that were of much better quality but showed only her second best moves I chose the latter option.

And before you think it´s all about the boobs there is another side to Juliana Moreira. It´s no wonder she managed to bang an entire group of boy scouts into a coma with her rumpshaking techniques when the horny teenagers sexually assaulted her behind the scenes of a charity event.

By the way, if you like to see more or Juliana Moreira girating her hips in the white outfit from the GIF here's the full episode of Cultura Moderna.

Here we have another episode of Cultura Moderna where Juliana Moreira is grinding her hips like there is no Tomorrow followed by her patented boob shake in a hot outfit - and when I say " hot outfit " I mean of course " skimpy bikini that leaves nothing to the imagination " at the beginning.

Making the GIFs I had to select the best moments from all of Juliana´s appearances on Cultura Moderna - at least from the compilations I could download because they are of better quality than the videos on YouTube - and yup, right, that is only Juliana's second best boob shaking move.

This is Julianna Moreira´s best boob move and naturally I could not find a video in good quality of it. Thankfully I found GIFs on the internet.

Sadly the video below is the best video I could find of Juliana Moreira´s boob dance but it has the complete show and daimn, that´s what I call talent. I also like the way she laughs which is similar to Shrinking Violet´s laugh on the underrated Legion of Super - Heroes cartoon and I can just imagine her laughing like this when she has just broken down her latest underage breeding stallion´s defences with her double - breasted deepthroat massage and goes on to dick - tame the guy without mercy.

Once she has managed to lure another teenage stud who has an over - proportionate monstercock that would give even the most well endowed pornstars penis envy into her bedroom Juliana spit - polishes his erection until he is hard enough to cut a diamond at which point she spreads her legs wider than a seasoned fillipino prostitute who has spotted a rich guy and after impaling herself with his throbbing meatpole literally jumping on his dick - still with her legs spread wide open - she starts to pound his schlong all night long turning him into her personal penetration puppet and making him shoot his load again and again until he is completely dry.