Monday, April 25, 2022

Mexican Massita Monday with Mil Chistes !

Longtime followers may remember that at the start of 2021 I mentioned the mexican adult humor magazine El Mil Chistes especially the fact that the cover artists were if not huge fans of Power Girl at least shared my obsession for women built like DC´s Maid of the Massive Mammaries.


In that post I promised to do a post with the best covers or if not that than with the best covers featuring blonde girls who look like Power Girl once I had sorted out all of the material. Anyway, while going through the covers I found a lot of pictures of busty playmates and other bra busting Busenwunder so I thought why not combine the best of two worlds ?


Why not see if we can match up some of these incredibly hot blow up sex dolls with the depiction of a wet sex dream on a cover of El Mil Chistes ?


I guess the main fault of this whole thing lies on american fashion model, former cheerleader and playmate of french and native american descent Elisabeth Marie Chevalier who looked like she had just stepped out of a El Mil Chistes cover with her mouthwatering 36DD - 24 - 38 measurements.


Besides just the look I also tried to match the exact pose but as always I was heavily dependent on what I found on the internet and you have to judge for yourself how successfull I was with that. After all this is not supposed to be a scientific analysis but just a fun mental exercise but above all just another cheap excuse to put more hot babes on the blog.


In any case, after I had compiled the necessary material I put it in a special folder but like always one thing or another always came up and the post got postponed more and more until I almost couldn´t find the folder again.


But now I can finally put it on the blog because otherwise we would have two DC postings in a row and frequent visitors know I try to avoid that.


Finding an appropriate comicbook - related video for these more babe - centric posts can be difficult sometimes but I found a few recently that deal with general topics and Today we are taking a look at how thought balloons disappeared from comics practically overnight. Which for me is a clear indication for how stupid the comicbook industry can be sometimes.


Because it always tends to go to extremes, either everybody uses thought balloons or nobody does, there´s no middle ground. What I call " stupid " here is this " follow the leader " mentality where somebody has an idea and everybody jumps on the bandwagon without thinking for a moment if this idea is applyable to oneself. Have thought balloons been overused and misused in Silver Age and Bronze Age comics ? Yes. But thought balloons are just one tool in the big arsenal of comic creators and only because you do not know how to use them properly does not mean they are a bad tool.


The choice to use them or not should be based on your work not a spur - of - the - moment - let´s - stick - it - to - the - man flash in the pan trend.


It can be very effective when you don´t use them like Erik Larsen in his SAVAGE DRAGON ( one of the most underrated and underappreciated comics out there which I never tire of pimping on the blog ) where he does not to use thought balloons for any of the characters so you don´t know what they are thinking. And the only way to try to decipher that is through their overall body language, facial expressions or their actions.


And on the other end of the spectrum we have people like Brian Michael Bendis whose six - issue run of THE MIGHTY AVENGERS I like to call Brian Michael Bendis discovers thought balloons. Because he went from not using any to plastering the issues with them since he discovered the effect it has when a character is thinking something - in the thought balloons - but is saying something unrelated or the complete opposite.


Congratulations, Mr. Bendis, you have just discovered ONE of the many uses of thought balloons the rest of the industry has known for decades.


This little manko aside Frank Cho draws some stunning females. I would say he should have learned his lesson after LIBERTY MEADOWS or the SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL fiasko for which I still have not forgiven him.


By the way, if you want to see Joe Quesada squirm ask him when Marvel Comics is going to publish the uncensored version he promised us decades ago. Anyway, with all the hassles trying to comply with the censorship of the big two you might think Frank Cho would just do his own thing but then he goes and does something like SKYBOUND which was a big waste of talent, money, resources, paper but worst of all time to create something nobody needed : a centaur rear - ending a unicorn instead of vice versa.


From Frank Cho´s sick and twisted land of mystical creatures we come to a totally different magical realm by another guy named Frank that is Frank L. Baum´s Wonderful World Of Oz which I didn´t even know had a cartoon.


On the other side I was well aware of Starsky & Hutch even though I don´t remember watching many episodes. But I naturally knew of it through the parodies in MAD Magazine and other german movie/tv spoof publications.


I do know that tv 38D - 23 - 37 cult siren and THE best Wonder Woman EVER Lynda Carter appeared in an episode. I already posted a short clip of it - since that was all I found back then but of course it has been deleted.


But those things are all in the past because Today I have a real treat for all of my faithful TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN followers : the full pilot movie.


For me nobody in Hollywood has eclipsed Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman so far which I have elaborated at length in various posts. I wrote the first one way way back in 2011 which I split into two posts. A very short one on Lynda Carter and a longer one on the Wonder Woman tv series of which I did an updated version of with a lot of high quality animated GIFs in 2016.


In 2019 I did a Wonder Woman post with a lot of stuff about Lynda Carter but also some original comicbook pages and in 2020 I even managed to write two Wonder Woman posts, one about Don Heck´s tenure on the book ( which also includes Nubia or how she is more often called Black Wonder Woman ) and one about the Wonder Woman comic Rich Buckler did for Power Records. I still don´t know if this was from a pre - existing comicbook or if Rich Buckler did this exclusively for Power Records. If anybody out there knows please let me know in the comments below.


We have a star studded episode of Inside Of You as Lex Luthor interviews Jack Bauer and Robin Hood who first met on the set of The Lost Boys.


Speaking of stacked casts, Today I want to pimp another underrated and underappreciated cineastic gem. And one of the reasons why I chose it is that besides getting Oscar winning actors like Robert Redford , Sidney Poitier or Ben Kingsley you can see they had a blast making this. And it´s not like with Hudson Hawk where the director and the actors had maybe too much fun shooting the scenes and the final product is just one big train wreck. No, this film is totally rewatchable no matter how many times you have already seen it because it´s just fun to watch. I don´t want to spoil too much for those who have not seen it but I can give you one hint : the movie is not about sports shoes as you might think from the title.


I have already posted Frenzy in two other posts so I hope three time´s finally the charm. And before you ask why I even bother with this it´s not every day that you find one of Alfred Hitchcock´s movies on YouTube.


Now I could end this post right here since we have already covered all the usual bases and it´s definitely long enough but ever since the pandemic started I have been going the extra mile since I know that there are a lot of people with plenty of free time and who are craving for entertainment.


So I started to put out some extra content as a sign of my appreciation for my readers who have soldiered on until now. Plus since I don´t post as often as I used to I can prevent that the bookmarks pile up too much.


We continue with the western theme and one of the definitive western comic series is without any doubt Blueberry by Jean Giraud better known as Moebius about whose work I have written multiple times, including a MOVIE RUMMAGE spotlight post for the animated movie TIME MASTERS .


Once again I am setting the stage for our next video with Fettes Brot ( Fat Bread ) and their spaghetti western inspired Jein. Now Jein is a nifty german words because it is an amalgam of Ja ( Yes ) and Nein ( No ) and you can just use it while in other languages you have to say Yes and No.


I hope that was enough to put my german audience into the right frame of mind for our next callback. I already included Duel In The Sunin a previous post but it has been deleted. Cult siren Jennifer Jones plays half breed Pearl Chavez who wants to be a good girl but her spectacular porn body turns her into the object of sexual obsession of two rivaling brothers.

The two brothers who try to use and abuse poor Pearl are played by Joseph Cotten and Gregory Peck who plays the bad guy in the story.


Next we have a comicbook related video for my german speaking audience which I had bookmarked ages ago just in case I ever get to write about french comic creator Lewis Trondheim who is pretty popular in Germany.


The title of the following video is a bit misleading since I mentioned both, the movie Remo Williams - The Adventures Begins ( in german it´s Remo Williams - Unarmed And Dangerous ) from 1985 starring Fred Ward as well as the pilot for the tv series that never got made from 1988 with Jeffrey Meek. So I don´t know how " forgotten " the tv pilot is or if I would rate it as a sequel. It is true that more people know of the movie than of the tv movie and I´ll take any chance to mention Remo Williams on the blog.


Now I was looking for an adequate episode of Classics Of World Literature as a segueway but since they obviously don´t have a review of Warren Murphy´s Destroyer pulp novels or anything with highlanders or immortals in it I went for the second option, something that fits the theme of this entertainment section filled with cops and gangsters, cowboys and other adventurous manly men and the closest I got was Mr. Ernest Hemingway.  


We come to the feature film for my spanish speaking seguidores and it´s one I had to put on the blog right away because these videos tend to get deleted from YouTube very quickly : Highlander or The Immortals how the movie is called in Spain. They really should have stuck to the film´s motto There Can Be Only One because everything that came after the first one was bad. As for Christopher Lambert, his quintessential movies are The Hunted ( one of my favorite white guy caught in ninjas vs samurai BS movies of all times ), Fortress, Mortal Kombat ( he is still the best Lord Raiden ) and Subway by Luc Besson from 1985. Since I don´t like to repeat myself too much go over to this post to read more about Christopher Lambert and Luc Besson´s films like Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. And to watch the first epsode of The Highlander tv series as well as an overview of the cartoon show check out last year´s Christmas post .


You also can´t fault Christopher´s taste in women because after being married to Diane Lane - who showed her stripper skills in The Big Town - for six years he gave it to the wardrobe malfunction prone queen of explicit nude scenes, french ( in every sense of the word ) blow up sex doll Sophie " Tits Out " Marceau at every chance he got 7 years long.


Not to mention that he dicktamed the aforementioned Busenwunder Francesca Dellera which lay the groundwork for Alain Delon who took advantage of the fact that her defenses were down and merciless used and abused the helpless born for porn model like a cheap fillipino hooker until she became his obedient sex slave making all his wet dreams cum true. Man, Christopher Lambert banged some of the hottest nymphos in showbiz and I easily have to put Sophie Marceau on the top of that list.


Longtime readers might recognize her from my very first post of CASTING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE where I cast Sophie as Catherine Cobert.


The french sexbomb is best known in the US for appearing in the Bond flick THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, and outside for taking her clothes of in such classics like MES NUITS SONT PLUS BELLES QUE VOS JOURS ( my nights are more beautiful than your days ) or DESCENT AUX ENFERS ( Descent into hell ) - where she appeared in nude scenes with Claude Brasseur who played her father in the romantic hit comedies LA BOUM and LA BOUM 2 which caused all kind of outrage at this perceived incest.


Her first nude scene was in HAPPY EASTER with Jean Paul Belmondo which I had in Germany but I never got round to watch it and now it´s too late.


She was 18 at the time she made the movie and payed the movie studio Gaumont money to get out of her contract to be able to do nude scenes.


What a trooper. In the movie she´s Jean Paul´s lover but when his wife returns a bit early from her vacation she says she´s his daughter from his ex. Sophie also starred in the horror movie NE TE RETOURNE PAS ( don´t turn around ) opposite Monica Bellucci which is like a dream sandwich.


I always do the super hero casting bit and with her giant - sized melons the mega stacked italian sex goddess would be a natural choice for the amazonian puppy princess of Themyscaria. She definitely would have no problem filling out the Wonder corsage with her 37C Wonder Twins.


I put her in the finale of the Hollywood Edition of Casting The JLA Movie series as Wonder Woman but now I´m tending more towards Big Barda.


In the original FOURTH WORLD comics by Jack Kirby - and this definitely changed in the NEW 52 - Big Barda was built like a brick shithouse with the personality of a lady trucker, the muscles of a female bodybuilder, the hot measurements of a playmate of the year and the cupsize of a porn star.


She got that from her mother Big Breeda, the fiercest female warrior on Apokolips who - nomen est omen - was therefore selected by Darkseid himself to breed the next race of warriors. I don´t know if it was because she spurned his advances or if he just thought she would produce the best offspring but it is implied that they used her like a blow up sex doll !


All for the next generation of Akopolips´ finest of course. Now with Big Barda the melons didn´t fall far from the tree and when she began to develop, especially in certain parts of her anatomy that had to do with procreation Darkseid decided to let her follow in her mother´s footsteps and - like mother like daughter - personally introduce Big Barda to the breeding pens to continue the family tradition. So as soon as she got wind of Darkseid´s perverted plans for her Big Barda decided to ditch Apokolips and hitched the next ride to Earth. According to Big Barda she managed to do that before Darkseid had a chance to break her in but maybe she was so eager to join Mister Miracle because she had tasted the Darkseed.

For more on DC´s creepy sex stories with Big Barda - like the time when Superman starred in a porn movie with her and then claimed he could not remember a thing - check out BIG BARDA : DEATH, LIES AND VIDEOTAPES .


Originally I casted Maria Grazia Cucinotta, the italian mega MILF with the giant 39D ( !!! ) melons as Big Barda but keeping in mind her history I may cast her as Big Breeda. Not only to get Maria to do nude scenes that way but also because then I could cast Monica Bellucci as Big Barda and give the Wonder Woman role to british 90s porn superstar Sarah Louise Young  .


We could even have Sarah Louise Young wearing the mega slutty 1990s Mike Deodato sado maso leather outfit. Plus this way we would get to cast an additional sexbomb as anal fixated amazon Artemis and the two of them had to compete for the right of the Wonder Woman title in a Last Amazon Standing Double Dildo Penetration Party Weekend. That would be right up Sarah´s alley who has a huge fanbase in my old home country.


Yep, she was a big star over there in Germany when I was old enough to rent porn videos. That shows you what an old geezer ( and old pervert ) I am. Also, she was the first one who made porn videos for a price that horny teenagers like me could afford. I mean, new tapes. Because back in those days you could buy used porn videos at the video store but those were watched hundreds of times and only seconds away from combustion.


Not only was Sarah Louise Young the first porn actress to agree a fee of $1,000,000 for a single film, in 1992 she also opened her first sex shop in Hannover, named Sarah Young Erotic Markt, and there would eventually be eleven such shops located in various German cities. I think there might have been one in Stuttgart but with all the movies she starred in and the ones she produced Sarah Young was very present in german video stores and sex shops around the time I was old enough to watch her movies. By the time she lived in Spain she also had one of the first adult magazines that were sold together with a videotape. Which in Spain were sold at newsstands next to comics or newspapers. Yes, some countries do not hide their porn under the table like it´s something to be ashamed of.


Coming back to Sophie Marceau, not only does she drop her clothes very often she also shows great cleavage like in THE MUSKETEERS REVENGE ( or The daughter of D´Artagnan like it´s called in Germany ) that has one of my favorite scenes with her. D´Artagnan´s daughter ( Sophie Marceau ) is captured by the villain of the movie to be sold off to a brothel, but only " to the sleaziest one where they waste the whores very quick " as she says. The guy who has to sell her bitches starts complaining that at the price he has to get for her he´ll never get rid of her. At which point the bad woman tells him that in this case he should be glad, ripping open Sophie´s shirt and revealing her gorgeous breasts which shuts him up.


I still have not bought THE MUSKETEER`S REVENGE because for some reason it´s only available on DVD in Germany and priced very high. One might think it could be because of the nude scene but most of Sophie´s movies include some and the majority of them are not very expensive.


We continue our theme of " forgotten " tv shows with the Where On Earth Is Carmen Sandiego ? cartoon show which aired from 1994 to 1999.


Although to tell the truth for me it´s not so much forgotten since I never watched an episode and the only reason that I was aware of it were the ads for the four issue mini series from DC Comics that were based on the computer game in the pages of the comics on my pull list and the fact that I had a similar name. So instead of " like Santiago de Chile " people were saying " like Carmen Sandiego ". So, yup, I put these videos up for myself.


Once again I could end the post right here and right now but for a post about mexican comicbooks - even if I only posted the covers - the latin community is not very present. And while you probably think that I would be the last person on Earth to help promote "representation " I´m always up for including more videos from the spanish speaking part of the world.


Epecially when those videos are from the famous mexican late night show Noches Con Platanito which not only has the best games like " Directly Into Your Mouth " which puts a new spin on the old " spit or swallow " question - and therefore would never fly on US tvs - but also manages to put ultimate latin sexbombs like Julieth Herrera into the skimpiest outfits.


And I´ll be damned if blow up sex doll Marcela Munoz is not a shoo - in for Power Girl. The only thing that´s missing is a coconut bra and we´re set.


You are probably asking yourself how I am going to make the connection between ultimate sexbombs in skimpy outfits and Danny Trejo but what a lot of people don´t know was that one of Danny Trejo´s earliest gigs was playing Erik Estrada´s henchman Tong in Andy Sidaris´ 1990 Guns movie.


Closing things out for Today is Jack Black´s brilliant The Who Medley. This man understands rock´n roll like no other. And if you are on of those people who only know The Who from the intros for C.S.I. do yourself a favor and check out their rock opera Tommy. Peace man, Subzero out.


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Wonder Rat !

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