Because it has been a while since I last mentioned the series VALERIAN UND VERONIQUE I want to put up the links for the previous posts where I waxed philosophic about it for my new blog readers and I think the best place to start is this post where I wrote a bit about the comic book and how difficult it can be to bring such a classic to the big screen that was groundbreaking in it times - before I had actually seen the movie.
Which I already had when I wrote this post so I could give my impressions of it. And I have to say I really liked the movie. Maybe that disqualifies me as a real comic book fan but somehow I can differentiate here. If you see the movie just as a comic book adaption of Valerian and Laureline then it does fail in great parts, namely in everything that has to do with the two protagonists. The actors don´t look anything like the characters in the comic book, they are way too young ( an unfortunate trend nowadays is the belief that only young main protagonists are interesting to a wide audience as if experience disqualifies you from being interesting ), they don´t behave like them and they don´t make sense in any way. They even changed Laureline´s background story, if they knew it in the first place.
Apart from that the stories were taken right out of the comic and are told in the way they unfold in the comic book ( which is something american audiences are not familiar with ). So seen solely as a comic book adaption it fails because while it tells the story how it is supposed to tell it the movie fails with the main characters which is the most important thing.
On the other hand if you know next to nothing about the comic book - and I guess 99 percent of the audience did - it´s a very entertaining, fast paced movie with a good story, a few unexpected twists, outstanding special effects that create a fascinating universe ( people like to talk about world building and here it is achieved wonderfully ) that actually looks like the universe of Valerian and Veronique even down to the aliens with actors who clearly had a blast. So I have no idea why the film failed.
Of course I could be a bit biased because not knowing that Rihanna was in the movie I didn´t know about her sexy dance performance beforehand and let me say she is outstanding ( and you can find the first part of her GIFs from this in the post I linked to above plus links to more GIFs and a video of the scene ). Her part alone is reason enough to see the movie.
And last but not least you can find more high quality GIFs from that scene ( like the ones above ) in this post which has another video of Rihanna´s sexy performance as well as one about the original comic and a recount of all my troubles ordering my first volume of the german collected edition.
As I have already posted all the videos of VALERIAN UND VERONIQUE I could find here is one about another french pioneer of science fiction comics, Phillipe Druillet who co - founded the cult comic anthology METAL HURLANT together with Moebius. The comic was published under the name HEAVY METAL in America and SCHWERMETALL here in Germany.
We are staying with comic books but we are making a jump to March the 29th when Marc Silvestri turned 61. As I mentioned his run is my favorite period of UNCANNY X - MEN and one of the few series where I would buy an ARTIST´S EDITION even if they cost an arm and a leg. Since I already included the links for my x - men related posts in the first part I only want to add two more links for Marc Silvestri posts : an overview about all the various titles he has worked on and a special Cyberforce spotlight post .
We are returning to french cinema stars with Christopher Lambert who turned 62 on March the 29th and he knows how to pick his jobs because he has been on a few classic cult movies like Highlander ( there can be only one - and there is only one since the sequels don´t exist for me ), The Hunted ( one of my favorite white guy caught in ninjas vs samurai BS movies of all times ), Fortress or Mortal Kombat ( he is still the best Lord Raiden ) and Subway by aforementioned director Luc Besson from 1985.
You also can´t fault Christopher´s taste in women because after being married to Diane Lane - who showed her stripper skills in The Big Town - for six years he gave it to the wardrobe malfunction prone queen of explicit nude scenes, french ( in every sense of the word ) blow up sex doll Sophie " Tits Out " Marceau ( whom readers might recognize from my very first post of CASTING THE JLA MOVIE where I cast her as JUSTICE LEAGUE EUROPE´s Catherine Cobert ) at every chance he got 7 years long.
The french sexbomb is best known in the US for appearing in the Bond flick THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH, and outside for taking her clothes off in such classics like MES NUITS SONT PLUS BELLES QUE VOS JOURS ( my nights are more beautiful than your days ) or DESCENT AUX ENFERS ( Descent into hell ) - where she appeared in nude scenes with Claude Brasseur who played her father in the romantic hit comedies LA BOUM and LA BOUM 2 which caused all kind of outrage at this perceived incest.
Her first nude scene was in HAPPY EASTER with Jean Paul Belmondo which I have to confess to have lying somewhere and still haven´t watched. She was 18 at the time she made the movie and payed the movie studio Gaumont money to get out of her contract to be able to do nude scenes.
What a trooper. In the movie she´s Jean Paul´s lover but when his wife returns a bit early from her vacation she says she´s his daughter from his ex. Sophie also starred in the horror movie NE TE RETOURNE PAS ( don´t turn around ) opposite Monica Bellucci which is like a dream sandwich.
I put Monica in the finale of the Hollywood Edition of Casting The JLA Movie as Wonder Woman but now I´m tending more towards Big Barda.
Coming back to Sophie Marceau, not only does she drop her clothes very often she also shows great cleavage like in THE MUSKETEERS REVENGE ( or The daughter of D´Artagnan like it´s called in Germany ) that has one of my favorite scenes with her. D´Artagnan´s daughter ( Sophie Marceau ) is captured by the villain of the movie to be sold off to a brothel, but only " to the sleaziest one where they waste the whores very quick " as she says. The guy who has to sell her bitches starts complaining that at the price he has to get for her he´ll never get rid of her. At which point the bad woman tells him that in this case he should be glad, ripping open Sophie´s shirt and revealing her gorgeous breasts which shuts him up.
I still have not bought THE MUSKETEER`S REVENGE because for some reason it´s only available on DVD in Germany and priced very high. One might think it could be because of the nude scene but most of Sophie´s movies include some and the majority of them are not very expensive.
Writing this section is always a nice reminder of things that I planned to do and still have not been able to do and I really should get some of her movies. There is always so much to do that some things are put on the backburner for too long. One of these days I should get LA BOUM and the sequel to re - watch, once for the nostalgia but also because it has been really a long time since I first saw them and I don´t remember much of it.
I was probably too young to appreciate Sophie´s emerging teenage sexual appeal or more concerned about comics and I had completely forgotten her astonishing impression of Cyd Charise from An American In Paris.
Which is one of my favorite musicals of all times - and not only because of the spot on depiction of female art students in their first semester who visit Paris ( that´s another candidate for my must - buy movie list ).
Since France is the seat of haute couture I thought it would be fitting to include another quintet of red carpet sexbombs with a focus on the best dresses. I didn´t find out a lot about these women aside from Emelina Adams ( 27 ) who was born on February 2nd 1992 who is a model actress ( 33D - 24 - 35 ) that is an exotic mix of irish, english, scottish and italian won Miss Nevada USA 2016 and has been in MAXIN and Sports Illustrated, Gleise Rabelo is probably a porn star and Sarah Allen is an australian fitness model, bikini competitor and personal trainer who was born back in 1985.
On March the 27th we had Pauley Perette´s birthday who plays Abby Sciuto on NCIS, while on March the 29th we not only have Christopher Lambert who was Marcel Janvier on NCIS : Los Angeles but also Marina Sirtis who turned 64 and who played new Mossad boss Orli Elbaz on NCIS.
She also did the voices for Mrs Wheeler, Sandra Stanyon and Queen Bee on Young Justice and Demona, Margot and Ms. Destine on Disney´s Gargoyles but she is of course best known for Star Trek : The Next Generation and the best parts of some episodes were counselor Deanna Troy breathing.
There are even some online rumors - but there´s probably no truth to it - that her role was supposed to be the ship´s telepathic sexdoll. In the first draft Deanna Troy wasn´t the ship´s counselor but rather the " ship´s consolation officer " a orgasmic priestess from the planet Betasex skilled in all known sex techniques to be used by the male crew for stress relief.
Because of their telepathic abilities the women from Betasex were ideal prostitutes since they knew every perverted sex fantasy their visitors would not even admit to themselves and they also had a very high pain threshold and were very resilient so their clients could really go for it and hammer their bodies without restraint. Which happened very often when they were working at some mining outpost frequented by sex - starved aliens with dozens of huge reproductive organs or long slimy tentacles.
Anyway, that´s just a silly rumor and there´s probably nothing to it. I mean the whole concept would never have passed american tv censors.
What is strange is the fact that for someone who is just supposed to give people advice she wore a pretty sexed up outfit that would totally defeat the purpose of counseling. All her male customers would be thinking about ripping her uniform off and banging her brains out and knowing it would be really uncomfortable. I guess the reason why they only made her kind of telephatic was that if she knew what the male crew members were thinking she couldn´t walk ten feet in the Enterprise and would never visit the bar. Speaking about the bar, if her role was to give people sage advice why did Guinan do basically the same ? So while still unverified the idea of Deanna Troi not only as the ship´s cleavage but also the ship´s adult entertainment system does have its merit. On the other side we know that the holo deck was used for the same thing. It´s so confusing.
What I could verify is that in the original draft Deanna Troy was supposed to have three breast, Tasha Yar had an unhealthy sexual crush on Wesley Crusher and Captain Picard couldn´t help but noticing the ship´s Doctor Beverly Crusher´s natural walk resembles that of a striptease queen. Oy.
Anyway, click here for more GIFs of Doctor Crusher´s and Deanna Troi´s space yoga, The 21 Times Dr. Beverly Crusher Was Your Fashion Idol and last but not least THE VALKYRIE DIRECTIVE takes a more than extensive look at Kira and Dax´s wardrobe through the Deep Space Nine series.
Also check out my Star Trek cult sirens spin - off post where I wrote about her and all the other hot Star Trek sexbombs like Jeri Ryan who played the inflatable DD Borg playmate with the big melons and a skin tight bodysuit sexborg Sex With Nine on the otherwise forgettable Star Trek : Voyager.
I´m sure there were thousand of Star Trek fans who wanted to be ass - imilated by her. Or better tit - imilated by this bodacious Borg sex drone.
Jeri´s breasts were so huge that they made her skintight suit darker and darker so you couldn´t see them as good but to no avail. Seven of Nine is THE cyborg sex machine every sci fi fanboy wants to have multiple borg - gasms with ( she´s a literal sex machine who is not only built like a porn star with Jeri Ryan´s hardbody, as a cyborg she has a lot of stamina and endurance and she also can take a lot of punishment so you don´t have to be gentle and you will get a lot of mileage out of this cyber sex amazon ).
Jeri tried her best to make us forget the shortcomings of the writing but couldn´t compensate for a plethora of always darker bodysuits that tried to hide her porn star physique and the always annoying Kate Mulgrew.
On Enterprise they put the alien sexbomb in right from the start with regularly recurring pop culture cutie Jolene Blalock who is of course best known for her role as the alien everybody in Starfleet dreamed about having a close encounter of the sexual kind with vulcan babe T´Pol, the sex massage addict with the inbuilt automatic Pon Farr nympho mode.
Under an agreement with the Vulcan High Command and Earths Starfleet T´Pol was placed aboard the NX - 01 Enterprise as Science and Executive Officer, serving under Captain Jonathan Archer. However the hot alien would eventually be brainwashed into " serving under " Commander Charles ' Dubya ' Tucker the Third, while under the effects of Trellium D.
A Trellium - drugged out, semi emotional vulcan love slave with great curves and a killer rack - what's not to like about that ? Her exotic sex appeal transformed Commander Tucker into Commander Fucker who had mul - t´pol orgasms thanks to the ancient forbidden vulcan sexmassages.
I know that T´Pol claimed it was something else but we all know what vulcan " body relaxation massage " really stands for. T´Pol was just needy for Tucker´s earth meatpole because while Phlox gave her the idea to practice the vulcan massage it was T´Pol who went all " Kama Sutra on acid " on Tucker. And she was so turned on by their all night long midnight olympics sex marathon sessions that she had to use the old " it´s just for scientific reasons " schtick to relentlessly bang Tucker into submission.
Since I did an unplanned re - post of her cult siren entry last year and there is nothing I can add at the moment we skipped her this year.
Our last candidate needs no introduction ( at least in Europe, I don´t know how well known he´s in Amerika ) Mario Girotti better known as Terence Hill turned 80 who started his career in the german Winnetou movies and became one half of the comedy duo of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill that dominated german movie theaters in the 80s. He is famous for his incredibly blue eyes and penetrating look of pure steel.
I have to say that I am going to miss that clip. Ever since I found it this was the first thing I listened to when I was going through my bookmarks for the posts and the opening song is now stuck in my head. So be careful when you watch it. Rounding up the birthdays - at least for this post - on April the 5th we have bikini megasexbomb Vanessa Demouy who turned 46 and who might have ended up in the bikini / Baywatch spin - off post if she wasn´t french. She was another candidate in my Casting the Justice League of America movie post that featured Sophie Marceau and I cast Vanessa as french super heroine Silver Fox. Despite being on two shows that ran on german tv for a long time her part in that post was very short because I didn´t have much material on her and not much has changed.
The first tv show in which she appeared was called Dance Academy in Germany but the original title might have been another as the germans love to come up with new ones. And looking for it is hopeless as there are dozens of show with that title. I´d like to watch the series again not only for Vanessa but also for the hot Severine Ferrer who plays her little sister.
Who was not that little since her booming body was busting out and her perky boobs were stretching out all her t - shirts to the utter delight of all viewers but especially her male co stars who started to constantly drool all over her nubile teenage dream body. I remember vividly that she did get more and more scenes of jumping up and down later in the series as her boobs had grown to that perfect size where they are already big enough to jiggle at the slightest move but not that big that they started to sag.
From french sexbombs it´s back to comics with our last two videos. And originally I only wanted to include the animated one but since I have not had the chance to write a lot about Hugo Pratt´s comic classic Corto Maltese very often I decide to first put up this one for the uninitiated.
Now while some may argue that the comic does not fit the overall french theme of this post because Hugo Pratt was italian he immigrated to France in 1970 so the biggest part of Corto Maltese was released in the french language first. Which brings us to Today´s animated video which is the spanish version of a series of movies made in France. I think I have already posted some in english but I´m not going to go through all my old posts now. So far I have only one of these movies on DVD because while I was in Spain this month I did not have many chances to go shopping and on the few shopping sprees I DID go to I was too busy looking for other movies.
New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
You don´t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading.
No comments:
Post a Comment