Wednesday, April 20, 2022

Martial Arts Mittwoch with the Karate Kid !

Posts lead to other posts is something I have always said and in this case it was my post on The Legion of Super - Heroes Reflecto saga . Because while looking for the right Legion pictures for that post I looked in my " Karate Kid vs " folder and lo and behold I had enough pictures for a post.


So naturally I went to look up my last " Karate Kid vs Everybody " post so I don´t post anything that I have already posted but it looks like I never got around to write one. So here´s my chance to get that off my bucket list and also include some of the martial arts videos I put into the other posts.


Since we have an almost completely martial arts related entertainment section ( which is a rare occurrence since we usually have at least a handful of videos that don´t tie in to the main part´s topic even if it is only the keep things more diverse ) I thought we should celebrate that in style and what could be better than Carl Douglas´ classic battle hymn Kung Fu Fighting ? There are some songs you never get tired of no matter how many times you have heard them plus this song has such a positive vibe.


Frequent blog visitors may recall that I included the full movie No Retreat No Surrender in my recent Frank Miller tribute post ( they also may have noticed that the video has been deleted again after I re - uploaded it but don´t worry, you can easily find the original version, the german version, the spanish version and also the movie with the latino audio of all things on YouTube although I have no idea who would even want the last one ) and that I mentioned that the german title for that movie was Karate Tiger - The Last Fight. I also explained that after the huge success of the movie in Germany they slapped the Karate Tiger label on any martial arts or Jean - Claude Van Damme movie they could get their hands on. The reason why I am resuming all of this is that the following video talks about all the movies that landed under the Karate Tiger umbrella in Germany.


We continue with someone else who was heavily featured in the Karate Tiger franchise : none other than martial arts hardbody Cynthia Rothrock.


From her cineastic oeuvre I picked Fast Getaway which may seem an odd choice since it is more an action comedy than a martial arts movie but the main reason why I picked it is that it is one of the few movies where she got to show off her new and improved 34C ( ! ) - 25 - 34 measurements.


Of which Cynthia´s desperte male fan base first got a good eyeful of in Tiger Claws as Cynthia Rothrock goes undercover as a busty hooker to catch a pervert at the beginning of the movie - and only the beginning.


New blog visitors can read more about the movie and martial arts legend Cynthia Rothrock in my second post about Joe Staton´s GREEN LANTERN .


I was always a bit disappointed that we didn´t get to see more of Cynthia Rothrock´s stunning physique with less clothing in her moviesbut it was totally not her fault. As I only learned much later Cynthia Rothrock always wanted to do riskier scenes and was willing to show more skin ( After all what is the use of training your hardbody to physical perfection if you can´t show it ? Especially if you are an actress where your body is one of your main factors determining what roles you get and what you are paid. ) but that her agent always vetoed it who for some inexplicable reason thought it would hurt her market value as a female martial arts star if she did nude scenes. Thankfully Cynthia did manage to get her way in many Femme Fatales issues much to the delight of all her drooling male fans.


And she was finally allowed to strut her stuff on screen in movies like Fatal Passion, Undefeatable and especially Sworn to Justice which does not only star Cynthia in the title role of a woman out on revenge but also was produced by her. So you know that it is going to kick ass. It also shows ass since the top heavy blonde is aware what movie goers want and so shows a lot of her body. She even serves up a brief look at her twin trophies in a lovemaking scene. It’s her only skin on screen to date, so enjoy it guys !


I am also including the spanish version of the movie which is called Family Of Thieves. Usually I don´t like it when the frame is " stetched " because it cuts off a part of the picture - like in the Andy Sidaris movies where in most cases the lower part of the actresses huge breasts were cut - but it also very rare to find these kind of movies in high quality on YouTube.


Last but not least we get some Behind The Scenes stories about Fast Getaway from Cynthia Rothrock. I have posted the link to her channel before and if you enjoy this kind of content definitely check it out.


Coming back to the topic of the post we have the Kockout Kid from the 31st century going mano a mano with the Living Weapon of K´un - Lun, one of the best martial artists in the Marvel universe. I know that Iron Fist´s power got seriously amped up in recent comicbooks but for me Shang - Chi was always at least on Daniel Rand Kai´s level if not above it.


When the Shang - Chi movie was announced I had the hope that my favorite master of kung fu would finally get some well deserved respect but my worst prediction came true because the Shang - Chi in the movie has nothing in common with the original comic version. Coming back to our pairing of the Legion´s Karate Kid versus Iron Fist, the hero for hire I have to say that my money is on Val Armorr. Not only because he has 1,000 years more of martial arts evolution to draw on but because he mastered every martial arts technique of every alien world in the United Planets.


That´s hard to beat. Plus while Iron Fist can use his chi to turn his fists like unto a thing of iron Karate Kid can break iron with his super karate.


For those who came in late and missed out on all the kung furying / high flying karate chopping martial arts action that has been going on here I wrote two posts about SHANG - CHI, MASTER OF KUNG FU in general and did five spotlight posts : two for the late Gene Day , one each for Paul Gulacy and Mike Zeck , a special post on Gil Kane who provided a lot of the early covers and one for all the other artists who worked on this book.


From a face off of two martial artists we come to the greatest gathering of skilled fighters on the planet with Street Fighter 2 : The Animated Movie.


Seeing as this is the uncut version my advice is to watch it while it lasts because these kind of videos are usually deleted by YouTube very quickly.


Of course the breast scene from the movie is when Chun Li takes a shower ( this is also how you can tell if it is the uncut version ) which I would love to see re - enacted by living 40D - 25 - 35 cosplay sex phantasy Yaya Han .


Not only has she already done one of the breast Chun Li cosplays of all times, with her giant porn implants she was literally built for naked shower scenes and it is a cruel joke of fate that she still has not ended up in the adult movie industry. One can only hope. Anyway, Yaya´s overdeveloped oppai were made to be all wet and soaped up and we definitely have to get a closed shower so Yaya can press her moneymakers against the glass.


In the original scene Chun Li is attacked by Vega after she gets partially dressed ( should I be more offended by the fact that Vega is dressed in the stereotypical matador outfit or that the spanish guy is a rapist ? ) but in my version of the scene the asian penetration sensation would not get a chance to leave the shower before Vega jumps her. Because Vega would hit her with a completely different attack technique against which even a skilled Street Fighter like Chun Li has no defense. It goes without saying that I would selflessly volunteer for the role of Vega and that I am willing to repeat the scene as often as it takes for me to come like a cannon.


Yes, I know, it´s just a cheap excuse for some xxx Chun Li action but I´m willing to take it especially when it means that I get to live out all of my craziest sex dreams with one of my top three wet sex phantasies of all times. Damn, some of these japanese animators really know how to bring Chun Li´s famous thunder thighs to life but I think the animated blow up sex dolls can´t hold a candle to Yaya Han where big butts are concerned.


And for more Chun Li stuff be sure to check out my latest two Yaya Han Chun Li readers request spotlights where you can also find the usual links.

Speaking of re - enacting my favorite anime scenes, if you are game Yaya there are a few more on the list although they would technically fall into the adult hentai category. There is Mad Bull 33 ( of which I posted a video with all four episodes in my SHOOTING MY PHANTASIE MOVIE WITH YAYA HAN POST ) where you would play the new über busty cop who is lusted after by every male in the precint and I would play your horny superior who presses you into service to go undercover as a prostitute so I can dicktame you on the backseat of the stakeout vehicle. In the original version we are interrupted before I can fulfill my sex wishes but of course I would change that so that I can slamfuck your brains out at my leisure.


Apropos undercover cops with huge XXX guns, one of my favorite hentai movies about that subject is Rei - Lan : Orchid Emblem and you wouldn´t even have to wear a blond wig like with Mad Bull 34 ( although who really minds seeing you as a brabusting blonde ? ) since the female protagonist Rei - Lan has black hair like you. The story is pretty straightforward - a female undercover cop and her fiancee get caught by a horny drug lord and the female undercover cop has to become the drug lords obedient sex slave to keep her fiancee alive - but there are plenty of explicit slamfuck scenes for us to re - enact. Especially the montage where drug lord Tojo pounds Rei - Lan into submission on every available surface of his private yacht would be a lot of fun to film because I can really cut loose and if you complain that I´m drilling you too hard I can always say that it´s in the script. Plus if I manage to not wear my schlong out dicktaming such an ultimate asian boner milking machine like you I may even succeed with turning you into my new nymphomanic private blow up sex doll in real life.

With your bonerinducing ginourmous 40D porn gazongas you would also be perfect for the role of mega stacked math teacher Kiriko from Depravity : Destruction Of A Female Teacher ( original title Daraku Onna Kyoshi Hakai ) who is sexually assaulted by a gang of perverted students who use their horsecocks to dicktame bigbreasted female teachers as their sex slaves.

While the cast would be smaller - just me and you - I would of course do my best to put your body to the test and even if you would not let me bind you like in the hentai series we could also do some of the other - more restrained - scenes, like when Kiriko is still in high school and her booming pornstar body gets a few of her male classmates so excited that they can´t control themselves anymore and invite the unsupecting teenage titty wonder to the roof of the school building where they first take turns and then tagteam to forcibly introduce her to the joys of sex.


Or when Kiriko spends the last days of her summer vacation at the beach and decides to celebrate her freedom by wearing a horny stud´s giant horsecock out in a wild and uninhibited asian ejaculation squirt marathon.


Speaking of teachers with giant porn boobs who get gangraped by horny hordes of students, on the top of that list stands Suzuko Yamazaki from Rinkan Club a hentai series based on the much more explicit game Rinkan Kurabu a.k.a. The Gang Rape Club. The story of the hentai ( I have not played the game so I don´t know what the story is in that one and the hentai is already very explicit so I can´t even begin to imagine the kind of sick and perverted sex practices that the poor girls are subjected to ) is that there is a small, isolated town that has the tradition of appeasing the gods by offering up female members of the community as a sacrifice. And by sacrifice I mean dressing these maidens up in ceremonial garb before they are gangraped by the town´s male elite, the so called Rinkan Club.


Suzuko Yamazaki is the new school teacher, a grade - a MILF who returns to her home town of Rinin but secretly she is investigating the savage gangraping of her mother who was offered as a maiden. Little does she know that the Rinkan Club is still active in the local high school as she learns to her chagrin when she is chosen as a maiden, tied to a stick and gangraped by all the male students in an abandoned building on the school grounds. Suzuko tries to resist the brutal sex attack but after mercilessly and relentlessly drilling her body for days they finally manage to break her will. In the following days the teacher is forced to wear vibrating sex toys during class which the students use to bring her to the edge of an orgasm so she doesn´t put up too much resitance when she is sexually assualted after class. Suzuko has vowed to bring the Rinkan Club down but has she bitten off more than she can deepthroat as she is used like a living blow up sex doll almost 24 / 7 by her horny students who seem determined to drown her in a sea of cum ? Or will she finally get her revenge on them ?


With a body made for adult movies and your huge 40D porn implants you would be perfect for the role of MILF Busenwunder Suzuko Yamazaki plus you already have the right hair color. Like with Depravity : Destruction Of A Female Teacher I would keep the cast smaller - just me and you - but I promise to make up in enthusiasm and quality what we lack in quantity.


Speaking of hair color for my number one hentai scene to re - enact you would have to tint your hair green - or at least wear a green wig - and it is probably no big surprise to my longtime followers that it´s from the classic Urotsukidoji II : The Legend Of The Demon Womb. In the scene Megumi Amano ( or like I call her Ohnegummi A Mano - don´t worry, this joke will be hilarious to my german readers ) the nymphomanic demon / human hybrid every human, beast man, demon, demon beast and superhuman being on the human world, the demon world or the man beast world tries to bang is captured and dicktamed by her old lover the sex demon Kohoki.


Now while this is my favorite scene capturing it on screen is quite difficult as there are a few hurdles to overcome, starting with getting wet sex dream Yaya Han drunk enough to shoot this because being a well versed anime fan she will bolt out of the door as soon as she hears the word " Urotsukidoji ". Secondly I don´t have the budget for a full blown Kohoki costume but I may be able to do the " getting triple penetrated while being suspended in the air " with some green screen technology. But the biggest and most obvious problem is that I am not a sex demon with a big super schlong that has three big ass insemination tentacles. Well, I will do my best and we will have to see if a bit of viagra helps to pick up the pace to the point where it at least feels to Yaya like she is being frenetically penetrated by three demon tentacles at the same time - without getting a heart attack. Although on the other side this is how I want to go : all exhausted after banging a hasian sex machine like Yaya Han´s brains out.

Okay, intellectually I know that the chances of Yaya Han shooting a live action version of Urotsukidoji II : The Legend Of The Demon Womb or any of the other hentai are slim - at best - and it might be all just a pipe dream but I think that things are not so bleak for Yaya Han doing a nude scene in an Andy Sidaris like movie . You say that´s crazy ? Maybe not so much.


First off, she already did an interview in PLAYBOY and now that they have come to their senses and include nude pictures again maybe blow up sex doll Yaya wants to do a pictorial while her porn star body is at its peak condition. Her asian persuasion always works and we already know from her Chun Li cosplay poses that she is a real pro at spreading her legs.


Second, Yaya Han is definitely going in the direction of movies even if she might start out in smaller roles. She has done longer and more elaborated skits at cosplay events as well as guest starred on tv shows and was one of the main attractions of Heroes of Cosplay so maybe she is ready to take the next step. And third and most important, cosplay queen Yaya Han ´s spectacular body was literally made for asian hardcore fornication. Which is not a racial stereotype about asian women being genetically engineered to be perfect sex slaves through centuries of prostitution, just stating the well known fact that she had some extreme asian tit augmentation done.

Holy twin torpedoes, Yaya Han is one of the celebrities where looking for fake nude pictures on the internet is just an enormous waste of time since whatever you may find can never be as good as the real thing.


People always say I exaggerate with Yaya Han´s breastsize but according to internet sources she´s a 40D - which to tell the truth does not tell me that much. So she is a 40D but then her cupsize is 36D ? How does this work ? I know that women wear shoes two sizes too small but I would think with breast you would pick a bra that fits, right ? That´s confusing.


Anyway, the consensus seems to be 40D with Yaya Han on most internet pages. Now in centimeters that is 102 which means that keeping in mind she´s only 5 foot 1 ( 155 centimeters, about my height ) most porn stars don´t measure up. I remember there was a girl in PLAYBOY when I was in middle school who was the same height as Yaya Han and she only had a 95 centimeter bust but because of her height she looked like she could easily star in a Russ Meyer movie. And Yaya got 7 centimeters more of boobs !


The last time I wrote about her I mentioned her 42nd birthday but I forgot to add that Yaya might want to reconsider doing a nude photoshoot. Too many celebrities never take the chance to do nude pictures when they are in good condition and their banging bodies are in their prime . Then, twenty ( or thirty ) years later their biological clock starts ticking, they want to prove that they still look good and do some pictures. Well, how are we supposed to come to a qualified decision ? We don´t know how she looked in the buff when she was young and sexy. So please Yaya, do some nude shots while you still look good. Otherwise there is no proof.


Coming back to Street Fighter we are kicking it old school ( pun intended ) with the very first comicbook series - that was produced in Amerika - by Malibu Comics. I remember reading these issues since my brother - who was really much more into video games than me - had it on his pull list.


Next up we have a Cutting Edge report about all cuts in Street Fighter.


I always wondered how 34C - 23 - 33 sex machine Kylie landed the role of Cammy. As it turns out they were filming in Australia so there was a lot of pressure to cast an australian woman as one of the movie´s female leads.


As it so happened the director was reading a magazine on the flight to Sydney which featured Kylie Minogue and so she was quickly hired at the last minute. Much to the delight of main lead Jean - Claude Van Damme who was taking more cocaine then Christoph Daum during the day while he spent all his nights dicktaming living blow up sex doll Kylie Minogue.


Now Jean - Claude Van Damme´s drug addiction and his marathon sex orgies with dickdrainer Kylie which left Die Geile Minogue hoarse after spending the night screaming at the top of her lungs and also unable to spread her legs for days were just two of an ever increasing number of problems that you can find in this article by Chris Plante on POLYGON .

What it doesn´t mention is the number one reason why it turned out so bad : instead of doing a Street Fighter movie - or at least a martial arts movie - director Stephen de Souza was trying to make an homage to The Magnificient Seven, Enter The Dragon, Star Wars and James Bond movies.


On the other hand the film has its redeeming qualities like the inclusion of Raul Julia as Bison or 38B - 24 - 35 hasian Ming Na - Wen as Chun - Li. To tell the truth I wasn´t to keen on the latter choice because I always thought that the aforementioned Cynthia Rothrock would´ve made a better Chun Li since she had the big butt to pull it off. Anyway, I can understand now why the production company went with a chinese actress for the role.


Apropos, someone I only discovered recently is 100 - 60 - 90 ( sorry I only found the european measurements ) model, cosplayer, bodybuilder and doctor Yuan Herong who went viral after her accurate Chun Li cosplay.


Keeping the martial arts theme going we have another episode from Ayer Nomas taking a look a the shortlived Chuck Norris´ Karate Kommandos cartoon series which had a - also short - comic adaption by Marvel Comics.


From one master of kung fu we come to another since Bruce Lee´s Enter The Dragon was one of the movies that producer Stephen De Souza was drawing inspiration from when he was shooting his Street Fighter movie.


Before Bruce Lee had his debut in american cinemas with Enter The Dragon he was already familiar to american audiences as martial arts expert, inventor and butler Kato on the popular Green Hornet tv show.


Now usually I post the pilot episode of shows I mention in this section but Today I am making an exception because in episode 10 " The Preying Mantis " Bruce Lee gets to show off his technique in a kung fu death duel against Mako who appeared in the Chuck Norris vehicle Sidekicks ( which I included in another post ) and Sworn To Justice with Cynthia Rothrock.


Mako also appeared on Ohara an 80s cop show with Pat Morita in the lead role which brings us right back to The Karate Kid although to a different one who is not a member in the Legion of Super - Heroes : Ralph Macchio.

That´s Ralph Macchio the actor not Ralph Macchion the writer and editor for Marvel Comics. Sheeeesh, when have things become so complicated ?


One thing my longtime followers must be already tired of hearing is that one of the reasons why I am still writing this blog after more than 15 years is that no matter how many cartoon shows I post I always find some new ones I have never heard of. For example I never knew there was a Karate Kid cartoon. So for all those Cobra Kai fans out there who don´t know how to bide the time until season five finally kicks off you might want to check this out, just in case they bring a character from this into the show.


We already had the preying mantis in The Green Hornet and now thanks to Forgotten TV we have the mantis who is a superhero with M.A.N.T.I.S.


 Man, when I was a teen Mantis was the s - word and it featured a black superhero who was also a paraplegic. Take that SJWs, I got your diversity right here. But in all seriousness this was a very hot show and Carl Lumbly was killing it in the lead role of Dr. Miles Hawkins who decides to use the exo suit he created to walk again to fight crime. And Carl has lost none of his acting skills as he recently proved as M´yrrn J´onzz, the father of J´onn J´onzz the Martian Manhunter on Supergirl or as Isaiah Bradley, the first black Captain America on The Falcon And The Winter Soldier. Before that you might have seen him as Marcus Dixon on Alias - not the Marvel show but the spy series with 38B - 27 - 35 Hollywood hardbody Jennifer Garner who played Elektra in the Daredevil movie with Ben Affleck nobody can forget and the Elektra movie with Terence Stamp nobody remembers.


From the greek tragedy of Elektra we come to another episode of Classics Of World Literature, taking a look at the lives and times of Daniel Defoe.


Now I thought that there was no connection between Robinson Crusoe and anything else in this post but when you think about it everything in the Karate Kid / Cobra Kai universe goes also back to a boating accident : in this case Mr. Miyagi´s father getting drunk and ending up at the coast of China from where he brought back the secrets of Karate to Okinawa.


New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best


Best way to avoid punch, no be there.

No comments: