So while I´m at it I´ve decided to make a second Yaya Han spin - off post and this one is all about the erotic movie I would like to shoot with her.
I know it´s mostly a pipe dream - even if she has had some acting roles and appeared in an issue of PLAYBOY ( although that was sadly when they didn´t include naked pictures because Yaya would have crushed it ) - but with her oversized oppai penetration sensation Yaya Han was clearly made for this. Also, I´ve had a few rough days .... better make that weeks, no months. Ever since my Mom made the announcement that I had to get rid of not only my entire comic collection but basically everything I own - a few days before Christmas - life hasn´t exactly been a bed of roses for me.
As longtime followers of the blog know when my stress levels go up the cult siren content in the posts rises so I hope you can bear with me and we will have more comicbook content soon. For this post it´s all about Yaya Han and it´s not even about IF I should write about these things since this was already on the blog. It just didn´t have it´s own post.
YAYA HAN CAN SPREAD HER LEGS BETTER THAN J - LO IN HUSTLERS !
One reason why Miko kept popping up in the posts about Yaya Han is that I needed a body double for Yaya´s more explicit sex scenes I had in mind.
In the first one - which I call FAST HORSECOCKS AT DEEPTHROAT HIGH - Yaya Han would play the role of Moana Makeyousquirthard, the new class teacher who tries to bust up a gang made up of the worst sex offenders.
Who not only single out all girls on campus who developed big breasts at an early age like fourteen or fifteen, hunt them down and systematically assault them with their horsecocks to turn them into their sex slaves.
They also love to dicktame their female teachers - especially the younger ones with huge hooters, legs for miles that go all the way to their chin and perfect bubblebutts - which has put Moana on their radar. She constantly has to fend of their vicious attacks especially during sex ed when all the boys in her class jump her and try to force her to give them a deepthroat blowjob demonstration or get her to spread her legs wide open for them.
So far she could avoid getting gang raped by all of the male members of her class but she always ends up with her clothes completely torn off which makes the way back to her car a race against all the rapists in town.
She tried to use the school bus once but she never made that mistake again. Because all the boys immediatelly grabbed her and dragged her to the back of the bus where they pushed her down on the last bench where they took turns groping her butt, fondling her tits and sexually molesting her in completely inappropriate ways for a teacher and her male students before stripping her down to her underwear and forcing her to give them all lapdances and massage their rock hard boners with her naked breasts.
Thankfully she managed to escape at a red traffic light and in her almost naked state it was no problem to get somebody to pick her up. Moana almost caused a traffic accident as all the drivers hit the brakes at the sight at an almost naked hasian sexbomb but she got a guy to drive her home. And make sure there were no guys waiting for her in her house. Or in her living room. Or in the shower. Or in the bed. Or between her legs.
It´s only a matter of time before they succeed in taming her so to get some proof of their juvenile delinquency Moana goes to one of their frat parties disguised as a cheerleader. Which Moana can pull off without a problem because not only are all asians super hot they look younger than they really are. There is only one glutch when the bouncer doesn´t want to let her in but that´s quickly solved as Moana - grudgingly - gives him a taste of her asian lubrication skills with an extreme deepthroat blowjob.
After a thorough search of their special " party room " Moana finds enough sex tapes but is caught red handed by a dozen of the worst serial rapist who naturally took notice of such an ultimate hasian sexmachine as soon as she walked in. At first they think she is just one of the many teenaged Busenwunder they had their way with so they surround her and take turns slam - fucking her brains out so Moana thinks she can bang her way out of this. But after one of them realizes that she is their new teacher they tie her up and use her as their new blow up sex doll for the next six months.
The second one - which we will call BABYSITTER BLOWJOB BLUES for the moment - has Yaya Han as nymphomanic co ed Boom Boom Blowjob who works her way through college as striptease sensation Wendy Wetdream.
Because of a sprained ankle she tries to make ends meet as a babysitter.
Unbeknownst to her her first client is a fifteen year old pervert who loves to bang bigbreasted babysitters and use them as his personal sex toys.
Which would not be a big deal if he didn´t have a giant cock that gives even the biggest breeding stallions penis envy. His parents suspect that he abuses the girls since he is too old to really need a babysitter. But they prefer to cover up the proof of these brutal sexual assaults than deal with their own son. So as soon as his parents are gone the sick boy gets Boom Boom drunk enough to drill her body relentlessly with his monsterschlong.
Because she needs the money Boom Boom has to endure a grueling hasian ejaculation marathon that lasts all night long. And when the parents finally come home horny Daddy insists on sampling the merchandise for himself.
Well, I can´t include all of my ideas for explicit sex scenes for Yaya Han since that would take up too much space and this post is supposed to be about Kiana Tom anyway. But I have gotten some complaints that my cult siren posts - especially if they are reposts - tend to be slightly repetitive.
And since I have mentioned the explicit sex scenes with Yaya Han in almost every post in which she appears without any further explanation I thought it´s about time that I elaborated on the subject a bit further.
So I´m going to wrap this up with my favorite scene - UNDERCOVER MASSAGE PARLOR NURU MARATHON - in which we have Yaya as reluctant undercover cop Gaile Muschi Ohnegummi. Because of her giant 40D boobs all her male colleagues constantly try to assault her sexually ( during her initiation the entire precinct took turns using the helpless handcuffed hasian like a cheap blow up sex doll so she learned very quickly how to get out of handcuffs without the key ) and even her superior officer enlisted her for special observation duty. Which was just an excuse to strip Gaile naked and pound her to his heart´s content on the backseat.
After the third time Gaile reported this but in retaliation her boss put her on the vice squad as bait for serial rapist. Her new beat was the area with the most brutal sex offenders and the highest violation ratio per square inch and because her backup was notoriously late on purpose - to give the perverts a few hours to have their way with her - she had to learn to run very fast. All this was to wear her down which is also where we come in.
Gaile has asked for another transfer from the vice squad since a sting operation where she infiltrated a porn syndicate under the alias of Dolly Part Em went bust. Not only did the porn producers get away scott free but to add insult to injury her confiscated porn audition during which she was triple penetrated by three black guys with huge monstercocks for five hours had to be returned and was released as THREE THE ASIAN WAY, PART ONE and TWO which turned her into an overnight porn star sensation. And to top it all off her superior graciously provided a free copy for everybody to boost morale so now all her horny colleagues, plus all the sex offenders jerk off to Gaile getting analyzed by three super hung breeding stallions.
As we meet Gaile she poses as Miso Horny at a massage parlor that offers their clients an extra service and is rumored to have ties to the Yakuza.
Aside from being asian Gaile was assigned to this because of her natural inbred ability to spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker and her outstanding performance as a nuru specialist and deepthroat champion.
Her mission is to keep tabs on the clientele - which for the most part are cops who use the pretense of getting updates to get a wet full body sex massage from Gaile - and wait for some big gangster boss. Who doesn´t exist. Her boss just made him up so they could all get serviced by Gaile.
Well, as it turns out one day a guy walks in who is just some tourist who happens to look exactly like the description her superior gave Gaile so she goes all Kama Sutra on acid on his dick. First she deepthroats his boner until it has reached an impressive size and then she massages his erection with her titanic twin torpedoes for a few hours until it is as hard as unto a thing of iron. At this point she literally jumps on his dick doing the splits again and again making him squirt for hours until he can´t get it up again.
With her giant - sized porn implants and her boner - inducing body Yaya would be ideal to play this hasian undercover lubrication sensation and I´m sure she would excel at polishing hard rods with her oversized oppai.
It goes without saying that I would insist on rehearsing all the sex scenes with Yaya Han but I would especially volunteer for this one since I think Yaya is a natural at giving wet nuru massages. Of course she would object to do such explicit sex scenes - even if she was born for this - which is where Miko Lee comes in who has no qualms about getting her freak on.
I DREAM OF JEANNIE MAI ( AND WAKE UP WITH A HUGE ERECTION ) !
Which is not ideal since Yaya Han has a 40D bust and Miko Lee is nowhere near in that league. Thankfully it looks like hasian talk show host Jeannie Mai is auditioning for the part and while she also is a bit smaller than Yaya in the chest area she does have an impressive skill set. I am convinced.
This hot sexbomb is of vietnamese descend and even though she is " only " a 37C and not a 40D like Yaya I think she could be a body double for her.
At least it would be fun to put her body to the test for the sex scenes.
The topic of sex has come up quite frequently on THE REAL TALK ( I´m just glad that I have not found a source for it because I would watch it 24 / 7 just to get some glimpses of Jeannie ) so we know that Jeannie just loves to dress up be it for Halloween or in the privacy of her bedroom.
On top of that she has the perfect bubblebutt - like most asian girls - so it´s no wonder her ex hubby always tried to persuade her to wear a thong ( remember the thong incident ? ), she admitted to frequently using all kind of toys to spice up her sex life and she has gone on record that her favorite location to let her inner nymphomanic really loose is a hotel room because : " There are certain things I just can´t do at home. I eat at that table. " So you tell me, am I really exaggerating here or am I falling short ?
Yeah, I know you´re probably tired of hearing me say that but asian girls are my kryptonite. And by assessory all exotic looking sexbombs. Damn, that´s one of the reasons cosplay queen Yaya Han still hasn´t gotten her own post . I want to give her props but I´m afraid it will turn into porn.
And this finishes up our second Yaya Han spin - off post. For those who have not done so they can check out the first Yaya Han spin - off post which is all about cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya and her giant sized 40D oppai and our next post will finally be all about flexual dynamo Kiana Tom.
Since we don´t have any comicbook content in this post ( and I´m also skipping any birthdays since I´m already way too late wrapping up these posts as it is ) here is a video about the famous Power Records . As somebody who didn´t grow up in Amerika they were not part of my childhood so nobody can accuse me of putting the video up for nostalgic reasons. I DID however have other audio dramas growing up in Germany but they were more about german fairy tales ( to which we will come back at the end of this post ), famous children´s stories like Der Kleine Muck or other stories for children from Wickie und die starken Männer to Hui Buh.
While not all readers appreciate my - let´s say raunchier posts - they do provide a seldom opportunity to include the videos of a more adult kind.
And since I know that nobody can resist a good top ten list here are 10 R - Rated Brutal Animes from the 80s and 90s, the golden era of animation.
One series that has to be on that list is Mad Bull 34 and against all odds I not only found a video about it but one that includes all four episodes. As always this is not going to last long on YouTube so watch it while you can.
By the way, the idea of Yaya Han as reluctant undercover cop Gaile Muschi Ohnegummi being assigned to " special observation duty " dressed like a cheap hooker by her horny boss so he can pull a Harry Weinstein on her porn star body is inspired by the scene that starts around 58 minutes in.
Speaking of ultimate sexbombs as undercover cops, longtime followers of the blog might remember the movie Tiger Claws in which martial arts icon Cynthia Rothrock goes undercover as a hooker to catch a pervert it´s also the first time she presented her improved 34C - 25 - 34 measurements to a drooling audience. New blog visitors can read more about the movie and Cynthia Rothrock in my second post about Joe Staton´s GREEN LANTERN .
Since I have already posted the movie various times ( and it has also been deleted various times ) here is a Behind The Scenes about the Tiger Claws trilogy ( they actually made a third part ) from Cynthia´s YouTube channel.
I have already posted Marvel Comics cringy attempt at doing a comicbook with a female cop in the lead from the 70´s Lady Cop but they weren´t the first who had the idea. Here is Sally O´Neal Police Woman from the Golden Age of comics and she even goes undercover at a women´s prison.
Behind The Scenes Departement - part 2 : the scene where Yaya Han has to go undercover at a sex spa was - in part - inspired by this scene from Final Destination 5. In a perfect world Yaya would work as a sex massage specialist, using her natural asian lubrication skills to milk hard erections completely dry and in my phantasie movie she could even team up with Jeannie Mai since we know she´s open to all kinds of kinky sex practices.
Maybe we could even bring in the aptly named chesty Chasty Ballesteros who plays the mega hot spa receptionist. By the way does anybody know the name of the extremely big breasted hasian Busenwunder who walks by as the horny pervert comes in ? I couldn´t find it anywhere in the credits.
Speaking about the explicit sex movie I would like to shoot with Yaya Han now that I am wrapping up this topic I was hit by an idea for a sequel to BABYSITTER BLOWJOB BLUES. But I can´t put it in this post and I don´t know if I can include it in one of my upcoming Yaya Han posts. Plus there are some things in the script that probably will only work in german so if I want to put it on the blog it would have to be a special all german post.
For the music video of this post I didn´t have to think twice because what could fit the theme of ultimate sexbombs and asian massage parlors than afro - american aphrodite Christina Milian showing off her natural nubian stripper skills in Dip It Low ? With her boner - inducing, perfectly sculpted body that makes even porn stars envious she would make even the gayest clients squirt like crazy until they can´t get it up anymore.
Staying on the topic of exotic blow up sex dolls born to work the pole, not that Yaya Han needs any tips for spreading her legs - which alone can give you an instant erection - like a fillipino hooker. Thanks to her natural born asian stripper abilities she can do the splits better than Jennifer Lopez in Hustlers as she has demonstrated time and again in her Chun Li pictures ( of which I will post more in a future post ) but since there is no video of that we have the extremely flexible Adison Briana pinch hitting for her.
Speaking of special skills, it´s almost impossible to find videos that pass the new YouTube censorship guidelines and are still worth posting. So when I found this one with Riley Reid I just had to include it. Now all we need is a double dildo deepthroat competition with her and Yaya Han.
I would even - completely selfless - volunteer to provide a throbbing erection for the final deciding blowjob marathon after all the double dildos have mysteriously been disappeared by yours truly if necessary.
I wasn´t sure about posting this one but it´s worth it for the very gifted girl in the middle with those huge knockers. I had to do a bit of research but it´s none other than 32G ( all natural !!! ) - 24 - 35 porn star Autumn Falls whom I mentioned before in my first Will Eisner tribute post from 2020 where I cast her as the Pichelsteiner´s cavewoman sexbomb Petra.
But she also would be perfect for the main role in an explicit movie adaption of Kevin J. Taylor´s famous porn comicbook series The Girl.
Today´s feature film is Misterios de Ultratumba a.k.a. The Black Pit Of Dr. M which is a mexican movie from 1959 of some reknown. At least I seem to recall it being mentioned once or twice in the Los Comic Geekos podcast.
The story seems to be taken right out of novel by horror master Edgar Allen Poe : two doctors make a pact in which they swear that the first to die will return - if possible - to tell the other how to get a glimpse of the afterlife while still alive. What could possibly go wrong with that, right ?
You probably think I forgot all about fairy tales but I was just keeping the best for last. In this case it´s Fairy Tale Theater´s Jack And The Beanstalk.
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If a liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn´t own what do you call a man who gives away everything he DOES own ?
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