Shooting my phantasie movie with Yaya Han

So while I´m at it I´ve decided to make a second Yaya Han spin - off post and this one is all about the erotic movie I would like to shoot with her.

I know it´s mostly a pipe dream - even if she has had some acting roles and appeared in an issue of PLAYBOY ( although that was sadly when they didn´t include naked pictures because Yaya would have crushed it ) - but with her oversized oppai penetration sensation Yaya Han was clearly made for this. Also, I´ve had a few rough days .... better make that weeks, no months. Ever since my Mom made the announcement that I had to get rid of not only my entire comic collection but basically everything I own - a few days before Christmas - life hasn´t exactly been a bed of roses for me.

As longtime followers of the blog know when my stress levels go up the cult siren content in the posts rises so I hope you can bear with me and we will have more comicbook content soon. For this post it´s all about Yaya Han and it´s not even about IF I should write about these things since this was already on the blog. It just didn´t have it´s own post.

YAYA HAN CAN SPREAD HER LEGS BETTER THAN J - LO IN HUSTLERS !

One reason why Miko kept popping up in the posts about Yaya Han is that I needed a body double for Yaya´s more explicit sex scenes I had in mind.

In the first one - which I call FAST HORSECOCKS AT DEEPTHROAT HIGH - Yaya Han would play the role of Moana Makeyousquirthard, the new class teacher who tries to bust up a gang made up of the worst sex offenders.

Who not only single out all girls on campus who developed big breasts at an early age like fourteen or fifteen, hunt them down and systematically assault them with their horsecocks to turn them into their sex slaves.

They also love to dicktame their female teachers - especially the younger ones with huge hooters, legs for miles that go all the way to their chin and perfect bubblebutts - which has put Moana on their radar. She constantly has to fend of their vicious attacks especially during sex ed when all the boys in her class jump her and try to force her to give them a deepthroat blowjob demonstration or get her to spread her legs wide open for them.

So far she could avoid getting gang raped by all of the male members of her class but she always ends up with her clothes completely torn off which makes the way back to her car a race against all the rapists in town.

She tried to use the school bus once but she never made that mistake again. Because all the boys immediatelly grabbed her and dragged her to the back of the bus where they pushed her down on the last bench where they took turns groping her butt, fondling her tits and sexually molesting her in completely inappropriate ways for a teacher and her male students before stripping her down to her underwear and forcing her to give them all lapdances and massage their rock hard boners with her naked breasts.

Thankfully she managed to escape at a red traffic light and in her almost naked state it was no problem to get somebody to pick her up. Moana almost caused a traffic accident as all the drivers hit the brakes at the sight at an almost naked hasian sexbomb but she got a guy to drive her home. And make sure there were no guys waiting for her in her house. Or in her living room. Or in the shower. Or in the bed. Or between her legs.

It´s only a matter of time before they succeed in taming her so to get some proof of their juvenile delinquency Moana goes to one of their frat parties disguised as a cheerleader. Which Moana can pull off without a problem because not only are all asians super hot they look younger than they really are. There is only one glutch when the bouncer doesn´t want to let her in but that´s quickly solved as Moana - grudgingly - gives him a taste of her asian lubrication skills with an extreme deepthroat blowjob.

After a thorough search of their special " party room " Moana finds enough sex tapes but is caught red handed by a dozen of the worst serial rapist who naturally took notice of such an ultimate hasian sexmachine as soon as she walked in. At first they think she is just one of the many teenaged Busenwunder they had their way with so they surround her and take turns slam - fucking her brains out so Moana thinks she can bang her way out of this. But after one of them realizes that she is their new teacher they tie her up and use her as their new blow up sex doll for the next six months.

The second one - which we will call BABYSITTER BLOWJOB BLUES for the moment -  has Yaya Han as nymphomanic co ed Boom Boom Blowjob who works her way through college as striptease sensation Wendy Wetdream.

Because of a sprained ankle she tries to make ends meet as a babysitter.

Unbeknownst to her her first client is a fifteen year old pervert who loves to bang bigbreasted babysitters and use them as his personal sex toys.

Which would not be a big deal if he didn´t have a giant cock that gives even the biggest breeding stallions penis envy. His parents suspect that he abuses the girls since he is too old to really need a babysitter. But they prefer to cover up the proof of these brutal sexual assaults than deal with their own son. So as soon as his parents are gone the sick boy gets Boom Boom drunk enough to drill her body relentlessly with his monsterschlong.

Because she needs the money Boom Boom has to endure a grueling hasian ejaculation marathon that lasts all night long. And when the parents finally come home horny Daddy insists on sampling the merchandise for himself.

Well, I can´t include all of my ideas for explicit sex scenes for Yaya Han since that would take up too much space and this post is supposed to be about Kiana Tom anyway. But I have gotten some complaints that my cult siren posts - especially if they are reposts - tend to be slightly repetitive.

And since I have mentioned the explicit sex scenes with Yaya Han in almost every post in which she appears without any further explanation I thought it´s about time that I elaborated on the subject a bit further.

So I´m going to wrap this up with my favorite scene - UNDERCOVER MASSAGE PARLOR NURU MARATHON - in which we have Yaya as reluctant undercover cop Gaile Muschi Ohnegummi. Because of her giant 40D boobs all her male colleagues constantly try to assault her sexually ( during her initiation the entire precinct took turns using the helpless handcuffed hasian like a cheap blow up sex doll so she learned very quickly how to get out of handcuffs without the key ) and even her superior officer enlisted her for special observation duty. Which was just an excuse to strip Gaile naked and pound her to his heart´s content on the backseat.

After the third time Gaile reported this but in retaliation her boss put her on the vice squad as bait for serial rapist. Her new beat was the area with the most brutal sex offenders and the highest violation ratio per square inch and because her backup was notoriously late on purpose - to give the perverts a few hours to have their way with her - she had to learn to run very fast. All this was to wear her down which is also where we come in.

Gaile has asked for another transfer from the vice squad since a sting operation where she infiltrated a porn syndicate under the alias of Dolly Part Em went bust. Not only did the porn producers get away scott free but to add insult to injury her confiscated porn audition during which she was triple penetrated by three black guys with huge monstercocks for five hours had to be returned and was released as THREE THE ASIAN WAY, PART ONE and TWO which turned her into an overnight porn star sensation. And to top it all off her superior graciously provided a free copy for everybody to boost morale so now all her horny colleagues, plus all the sex offenders jerk off to Gaile getting analyzed by three super hung breeding stallions.

As we meet Gaile she poses as Miso Horny at a massage parlor that offers their clients an extra service and is rumored to have ties to the Yakuza.

Aside from being asian Gaile was assigned to this because of her natural inbred ability to spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker and her outstanding performance as a nuru specialist and deepthroat champion.

Her mission is to keep tabs on the clientele - which for the most part are cops who use the pretense of getting updates to get a wet full body sex massage from Gaile - and wait for some big gangster boss. Who doesn´t exist. Her boss just made him up so they could all get serviced by Gaile.

Well, as it turns out one day a guy walks in who is just some tourist who happens to look exactly like the description her superior gave Gaile so she goes all Kama Sutra on acid on his dick. First she deepthroats his boner until it has reached an impressive size and then she massages his erection with her titanic twin torpedoes for a few hours until it is as hard as unto a thing of iron. At this point she literally jumps on his dick doing the splits again and again making him squirt for hours until he can´t get it up again.

With her giant - sized porn implants and her boner - inducing body Yaya would be ideal to play this hasian undercover lubrication sensation and I´m sure she would excel at polishing hard rods with her oversized oppai.

It goes without saying that I would insist on rehearsing all the sex scenes with Yaya Han but I would especially volunteer for this one since I think Yaya is a natural at giving wet nuru massages. Of course she would object to do such explicit sex scenes - even if she was born for this - which is where Miko Lee comes in who has no qualms about getting her freak on.

I DREAM OF JEANNIE MAI ( AND WAKE UP WITH A HUGE ERECTION ) !

Which is not ideal since Yaya Han has a 40D bust and Miko Lee is nowhere near in that league. Thankfully it looks like hasian talk show host Jeannie Mai is auditioning for the part and while she also is a bit smaller than Yaya in the chest area she does have an impressive skill set. I am convinced.

This hot sexbomb is of vietnamese descend and even though she is " only " a 37C and not a 40D like Yaya I think she could be a body double for her.

At least it would be fun to put her body to the test for the sex scenes.

Now I have gotten some comments that I should ease down with over - sexualizing Jeannie Mai but that´s not easy when you keep in mind my obsession about asian women and the fact that Jeannie has never made a secret about what a sex freak she is and how much she enjoys having sex.

 

 

I mean, literally the very first thing I found with her was the video with her boob exercises in which she admitted to doing them not only to make her breasts look better because she enjoys men drooling all over them but with the specific intent of getting guys harder than unto a thing of iron !

The topic of sex has come up quite frequently on THE REAL TALK ( I´m just glad that I have not found a source for it because I would watch it 24 / 7 just to get some glimpses of Jeannie ) so we know that Jeannie just loves to dress up be it for Halloween or in the privacy of her bedroom.

 

Mai oh Mai, she could keep me awake for more than one thousand and one nights but she would not be telling any stories since Jeannie would be too busy giving my magic lamp ( which not only grants more than three wishes but also grows to enormous size if you rub it the right way ) a spit shine with her asian lubrication before applying the wax with her huge massage balls. For the finish she insists on french polishing it as she is a pro in the use of asian lapping materials. Plus Jeannie is too classy to talk with a full mouth and it would be difficult to tell a story while getting her brains f - worded out and screaming with pleasure at the top of her lungs.

 

 

Just look at the size of her hooters ! How did her ex hubby let go of this asian penetration sensation ? Anyway, from what I have seen Jeannie´s soft lips would fit perfect around me and even if she probably could not swallow the whole shaft I´m game for some asian lubrication ejaculation.

 

On top of that she has the perfect bubblebutt - like most asian girls - so it´s no wonder her ex hubby always tried to persuade her to wear a thong ( remember the thong incident ? ), she admitted to frequently using all kind of toys to spice up her sex life and she has gone on record that her favorite location to let her inner nymphomanic really loose is a hotel room because : " There are certain things I just can´t do at home. I eat at that table. " So you tell me, am I really exaggerating here or am I falling short ?

Yeah, I know you´re probably tired of hearing me say that but asian girls are my kryptonite. And by assessory all exotic looking sexbombs. Damn, that´s one of the reasons cosplay queen Yaya Han still hasn´t gotten her own post . I want to give her props but I´m afraid it will turn into porn.

And this finishes up our second Yaya Han spin - off post. For those who have not done so they can check out the first Yaya Han spin - off post which is all about cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya and her giant sized 40D oppai and our next post will finally be all about flexual dynamo Kiana Tom.

Since we don´t have any comicbook content in this post ( and I´m also skipping any birthdays since I´m already way too late wrapping up these posts as it is ) here is a video about the famous Power Records . As somebody who didn´t grow up in Amerika they were not part of my childhood so nobody can accuse me of putting the video up for nostalgic reasons. I DID however have other audio dramas growing up in Germany but they were more about german fairy tales ( to which we will come back at the end of this post ), famous children´s stories like Der Kleine Muck or other stories for children from Wickie und die starken Männer to Hui Buh.

While not all readers appreciate my - let´s say raunchier posts - they do provide a seldom opportunity to include the videos of a more adult kind.

And since I know that nobody can resist a good top ten list here are 10 R - Rated Brutal Animes from the 80s and 90s, the golden era of animation.

One series that has to be on that list is Mad Bull 34 and against all odds I not only found a video about it but one that includes all four episodes. As always this is not going to last long on YouTube so watch it while you can.

By the way, the idea of Yaya Han as reluctant undercover cop Gaile Muschi Ohnegummi being assigned to " special observation duty " dressed like a cheap hooker by her horny boss so he can pull a Harry Weinstein on her porn star body is inspired by the scene that starts around 58 minutes in.

Speaking of ultimate sexbombs as undercover cops, longtime followers of the blog might remember the movie Tiger Claws in which martial arts icon Cynthia Rothrock goes undercover as a hooker to catch a pervert it´s also the first time she presented her improved 34C - 25 - 34 measurements to a drooling audience. New blog visitors can read more about the movie and Cynthia Rothrock in my second post about Joe Staton´s GREEN LANTERN .

Since I have already posted the movie various times ( and it has also been deleted various times ) here is a Behind The Scenes about the Tiger Claws trilogy ( they actually made a third part ) from Cynthia´s YouTube channel.

I have already posted Marvel Comics cringy attempt at doing a comicbook with a female cop in the lead from the 70´s Lady Cop but they weren´t the first who had the idea. Here is Sally O´Neal Police Woman from the Golden Age of comics and she even goes undercover at a women´s prison.

Behind The Scenes Departement - part 2 : the scene where Yaya Han has to go undercover at a sex spa was - in part - inspired by this scene from Final Destination 5. In a perfect world Yaya would work as a sex massage specialist, using her natural asian lubrication skills to milk hard erections completely dry and in my phantasie movie she could even team up with Jeannie Mai since we know she´s open to all kinds of kinky sex practices.

Maybe we could even bring in the aptly named chesty Chasty Ballesteros who plays the mega hot spa receptionist. By the way does anybody know the name of the extremely big breasted hasian Busenwunder who walks by as the horny pervert comes in ? I couldn´t find it anywhere in the credits.

Speaking about the explicit sex movie I would like to shoot with Yaya Han now that I am wrapping up this topic I was hit by an idea for a sequel to BABYSITTER BLOWJOB BLUES. But I can´t put it in this post and I don´t know if I can include it in one of my upcoming Yaya Han posts. Plus there are some things in the script that probably will only work in german so if I want to put it on the blog it would have to be a special all german post.

For the music video of this post I didn´t have to think twice because what could fit the theme of ultimate sexbombs and asian massage parlors than afro - american aphrodite Christina Milian showing off her natural nubian stripper skills in Dip It Low ? With her boner - inducing, perfectly sculpted body that makes even porn stars envious she would make even the gayest clients squirt like crazy until they can´t get it up anymore.

Staying on the topic of exotic blow up sex dolls born to work the pole, not that Yaya Han needs any tips for spreading her legs - which alone can give you an instant erection - like a fillipino hooker. Thanks to her natural born asian stripper abilities she can do the splits better than Jennifer Lopez in Hustlers as she has demonstrated time and again in her Chun Li pictures ( of which I will post more in a future post ) but since there is no video of that we have the extremely flexible Adison Briana pinch hitting for her.

Speaking of special skills, it´s almost impossible to find videos that pass the new YouTube censorship guidelines and are still worth posting. So when I found this one with Riley Reid I just had to include it. Now all we need is a double dildo deepthroat competition with her and Yaya Han.

I would even - completely selfless - volunteer to provide a throbbing erection for the final deciding blowjob marathon after all the double dildos have mysteriously been disappeared by yours truly if necessary.

I wasn´t sure about posting this one but it´s worth it for the very gifted girl in the middle with those huge knockers. I had to do a bit of research but it´s none other than 32G ( all natural !!! ) - 24 - 35 porn star Autumn Falls whom I mentioned before in my first Will Eisner tribute post from 2020 where I cast her as the Pichelsteiner´s cavewoman sexbomb Petra.

But she also would be perfect for the main role in an explicit movie adaption of Kevin J. Taylor´s famous porn comicbook series The Girl.

Today´s feature film is Misterios de Ultratumba a.k.a. The Black Pit Of Dr. M which is a mexican movie from 1959 of some reknown. At least I seem to recall it being mentioned once or twice in the Los Comic Geekos podcast.

The story seems to be taken right out of novel by horror master Edgar Allen Poe :  two doctors make a pact in which they swear that the first to die will return - if possible - to tell the other how to get a glimpse of the afterlife while still alive. What could possibly go wrong with that, right ?

You probably think I forgot all about fairy tales but I was just keeping the best for last. In this case it´s Fairy Tale Theater´s  Jack And The Beanstalk.

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

If a liberal is a man who will give away everything he doesn´t own what do you call a man who gives away everything he DOES own ?

Will Eisner week starts with THE SPIRIT !

This is my fifth tribute post for comic legend Will Eisner´s THE SPIRIT.  As longtime readers may remember my first homage to Will Eisner was also my very post in what I believed to be a very sporadic black and white series.

Ultimately it became the default post setting and what better way is there to kick off an endeavor like that than with an artist´s artist ?

Since I have already done four of these posts making another one should be a piece of cake since there is still enough material left from the last post. But as always things are never that easy. I have already mentioned it in the last post but since Will Eisner´s THE SPIRIT comic was published in newspapers, magazines and comic books finding the corresponding color pages for the original art can really be a Sisyphean task because unlike the later american comic books you don´t have a consecutive numbering. And in some cases there are no color versions for the black and white artwork.

Which is why when I found a gallery with a plethora of original THE SPIRIT covers on COMIC VINE I just had to go through them all ( sadly not all of the covers are of good enough quality to post ) which not only delayed the writing of this post but also made me reshuffle the art in this post.

As I went along preparing this post I also found so much good original art that the pieces I wanted to post became more and more. So that I have decided to make four Will Eisner posts this year. I know that sounds like a lot but I am trying to stick to my Only 23 pieces of art in the main post part rule. Which will make one of the posts a lot shorter than the others.

My reasoning for doing multiple posts is that as longtime readers know I am always struggling to keep things short. It almost never works out that way. And even if I manage to keep the main part short and sweet the bonus section with its cult sirens always is my undoing. Because I try to give my faithful readers that little something something extra in my posts.

Anyways, doing more than one Will Eisner post also helps me with that particular problem since I can split up the celebrity birthdays I missed since my last post among various posts thus making the individual posts shorter. My idea going in here is writing this post and see how many posts I need to wrap up with Will Eisner´s THE SPIRIT ( and there might be even a solo post about his work outside of that series ) and wait if any topic in the bonus section can be spun off into another halfway decent spotlight.

I already had to split this year´s Tylene Buck appreciation post in two because I could not put all of the new stuff I wanted to include into it.

As I said, I don´t know how many Will Eisner posts I will make this year so let´s get started. This post will be your normal run of the mill BLACK AND WHITE post as it includes the best original art I could find. I also like to keep material from the same story in one post which is why I am including two complete stories, Darling and the Octopus from SPIRIT WEEKLY 3 18 from 1951 and The Fortune first published in THE SPIRIT SECTION on May the 11th of 1947. For the first story I could not find any color art, for the second one I found the first page in color at the COMIC VINE gallery.

Now I always like to give my readers the best original art which means that I usually don´t include pictures of a certain size because you can´t really see much of the artwork. But in Will Eisner´s case there are some pages that show his incredible craftsmanship - not only of storytelling but in graphic art in general - that I have decided to keep a lot of pages that I would have normally thrown out. There are none in this post but they may appear on the blog in the future. I have also included some pages that I posted before where I did not have the colored version the first time.

And with that we wrap up our first spotlight on Will Eisner´s THE SPIRIT and our next installment will be about one of my favorite subjects - which I sadly had to ignore for the most part of this post - the femme fatales of THE SPIRIT. Nobody does bad girls as good as Will Eisner which is why his work has inspired so many other comic women like Frank Miller´s Elektra.

Today we have a few links for Will Eisner´s The Spirit stories although I´m not sure if I haven´t included them before. Anyway, since I completely depend on material other people upload to the internet I want to give credit where credit is due and besides COMIC ART FANS and HERITAGE AUCTIONS who provide most of the original art for these posts a shoutout goes to Old Groove on DIVERSIONS OF THE GROOVY KIND where I found The Fortune and Assignment : Paris which appeared in a previous post.

In case I have not already done so I also want to bring your attention to The Capistrano Jewels , The Killer , The Christmas Spirit of 1948 ( there are actually a lot of Christmas Spirit stories but I haven´t found enough for a full post yet ), The Spirit as a sort of political cartoon and The Origin Of The Spirit . And you can tell him that SUBZERO sent you. Last but not least, for those who - like me - are thinking about buying Will Eisner´s THE SPIRIT - Artist´s Edition they can take a look at it on the ARTIST`S EDITION INDEX . I know what some of you are thinking : why am I still thinking about it when I am such a big Will Eisner fan ? But the thing is it costs almost 150 EUROS. I know, I already bought two Artist´s Edition´s of Walter Simonson´s THOR ( and you can read more about it in this post ) and combined they cost more than 200 EUROS. But it´s still a difference if you pay 110 EUROS for such a book or 150. But who knows when I am still around at my birthday ( despite Corona virus ) maybe I will spring for it.

Time to pick up with the celebrity birthdays on February the 24th when Billy Zane celebrated his 54th birthday who was on season 7 of Charmed with the sultry Alyssa Milano , in the episode Well Cooked Hams from the Tales from the Crypt tv series and Tales from the Crypt : Demon Knight.

Sexbomb Alyssa Milano ( who got two entries on this blog, the main post and the bonus round with her best episodes on CHARMED ) is of course best known as the most charming, sexiest and all around greatest of all the Halliwell witches, Phoebe Halliwell on the cult tv show Charmed.

According to some interviews she gave later she wasn´t so keen on some of the sexy outfits but Alyssa was the main reason why guys watched the show, it was all to see her shaking her hips as a sultry belly dancer with her tits hanging out or an almost naked mermaid. Also Alyssa was busy taming male co - stars Julian McMahon and Brian Krause as her personal sex slaves.

I did a re - post of Alyssa Milano´s cult siren entry on her birthday in 2016 - and finally did a superpimed version with a plethora of GIFs just last year - and it is weird that she is trying to make herself the feminist figurehead of the Me Too movement with such actions like a proposal of a sex strike.

I wonder whom she is trying to make forget her nude roles, us or herself.

From the moment she showed her perfectly shaped tits to the world on Outer Limits - thanks to the lower restrictions of the Sci Fi Channel - it was clear this blow up sex doll was born for porn which she proved with her completely uninhibited sex scenes in Embrace Of The Vampire .

The upside of doing the entire litany of celebrity birthdays for all the posts before adding the videos is that I already know which ones are coming up and since we have one that is all about Tales From The Crypt I get the chance to once again pimp The Phantom with Billy Zane and Catherina Zeta Jones. Which is one of the most underrated comic movies.



Next we have Playmate of the Month April in 1986, Teri Weigel who turned 58. Because of Teri´s perplexing physique and her protruding torpedo shaped sweater puppies she became quite popular and was in a few specials from PLAYBOY. She also was one of the few playmates who also appeared in PENTHOUSE although not as a Pet of the Month. She was just everywhere during the 80s. She later had her breasts enlarged and did porn but she looked best in her appearances on Married with Children.

What I completely brainfart on is Teri also appeared in Baywatch ( she is topless in the pilot episode although that part can sometimes be censored ), Predator 2 and Savage Beach by Andy Sidaris. Fun fact : Teri Weigel and Carolyn Liu both were in PLAYBOY´s Sexy Lingerie 3 and both appeared in Andy Sidaris movies but not together. Carolyn Liu is also very well known in Germany amongst people of my generation since she took her clothes off on Tutti Frutti with Power Girl Monique Sluyter as did Sandra Wild, a blonde sexbomb with giant breasts who also was in an Andy Sidaris movie.

But the blow up sex doll from the Netherlands was not only in PLAYBOY multiple times she also was a big factor in my obsession on blondes with giant breast like Power Girl with her impersonation of Marilyn Monroe .

Regular readers of this blog already know that I cast her as Fire a.k.a. Beatriz da Costa in the Andy Sidaris Special of my popular Casting the Justice League of America movie series and I also kept mentioning her in all kind of post like the annual re - posts about italian mega soccer MILF Simona Ventura until I decided to give Monique and the Tutti Frutti girls their own post which I re - posted in 2016 in a new and better version.

Andy Sidaris was probably THE BEST director of action movies for adults and his cast is a WHOS´S WHO of playmates : 40DD Playmate Of The Month November 1984 Roberta Vasquez , hot 34D Page 3 girl turned sex therapist Ava Cadell , 41D Penthouse Pet Of The Year 1993 Julie Strain , Samantha Phillips, 34D Playmate Of The Month May 1994 Shae Marks , 36D Penthouse Pet Of The Month February 1993 Julie K. Smith , 34C Playmate Of The Month September 1993 Carrie Westcott or Dona Speir to name just a few.

Earlier I wrote that I completely depend on what other people upload to the internet for this post and one of the few exceptions to that are the animated GIFs. As longtime readers of the blog know making them takes a lot of time - at least a one and sometimes several days - so when for some unknown reason the internet was suddenly fast enough that I could do in a few minutes what usually takes days I jumped at the chance. So I did a whole lot of new animated GIFs from the Andy Sidaris movies which you will see throughout the next posts. I will not go through all of my old posts to change the GIFs - since there are just too many where I mentioned Andy Sidaris - but if I have to fix one of the old posts I will probably do it.

And I just wrote a spin - off post with all the usual links to Janet Jones Gretzky and real live Power Girl Leslie Easterbrook who had the most famous scene in Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol in which she emerges from a pool in a wet t - shirt. And while the obligatory Andy Sidaris actresses / playmates / sexbombs like Roberta Vasquez , Ava Cadell , brunette Cynthia Brimhall, Dona Speir , Julie Strain , Shae Marks , Julie K. Smith and Samantha Phillips are mentioned the main part is about blonde brabuster Monique Sluyter and the obligatory plethora of Tutti Frutti girls .

Now usually I just include a short part with them in the posts but this time I did a somewhat longer version so I could include all the new download links I found while writing this post. I just recently included a whole slew of new ones but those are just for compilation and mixes while these new ones are not only for entire episodes - which are always ultra rare - but for german episodes which are even rarer . Some of them even include my favorite Tutti Frutti girl ( whom you can see just below ).

There are some things that constantly pop up in this section like the already mentioned Andy Sidaris movies and the actresses / playmates that were involved in these or Tutti Frutti. Other tv shows are Married With Children, Silk Stalkings and also Baywatch. Now I can´t include all the links for these shows in every post because then they would be even longer than they are now. So I am going to put some of the links in the posts while ignoring others. In this post - for example - I have included a long part about Baywatch while other parts are shorter. To make up for this there will be more about the Andy Sidaris movies in another post where I mention Samantha Phillips birthday. There is also another post where I am mentioning Teri Weigel but because I included her here there will be no further links or animated GIF. There are the obligatory Andy Sidaris links but since I don´t like to repeat myself I will use different GIFs so that at least it doesn´t look the same. But let´s continue with the part about the best tv show ever about hot babes with big boobs in tight bathing suits.

Baywatch was really big in the 90s and it is like THE ultimate babe tv show. No kidding. No other show had more actresses who were featured in Playboy or playmates. If there was a hot babe during the time the show was produced you can bet that she´s in - at least - one of the episodes.

David Hasselhoff is my hero for putting hot babes like nubian sex goddess Traci Banghim on prime time television even though he never took them up on various casting couch sex offers ( at least that´s what he says ).

Well, if that´s true he was probably the only one who didn´t get any as buxom blonde Pamela Anderson paints a different picture of the set of Baywatch in an article from 2003 . Pam admitted having steamy sex liaisons with all of her hunky lifeguard co - stars and often enjoyed some SEXtra - curricular activities with her cast mates in their trailers." I dicktamed all male cast members at least once. Heck, with the ultimate porn star body I had back then I could have any man I wanted and I used my fellow co - star David Chokachi like a breeding stallion. I vented all my nymphomanic deepthroat urges on him and literally turned him into a sex freak. Just ask Carmen Elektra, whom he used as his personal blow up sex doll during her short tenure on BAYWATCH. But everybody was having sex behind the trailers, in the trailers, around the trailers. " Colleague Geena Lee Nolin adds the cast's motto was " If the trailer's rocking, don't come knocking. "

Speaking of baywatchable ultimate sexbombs, the most prominent on this blog is without any doubt natural born stripper starlet Erika " Double E " Eleniak who boobed out extremely after she left BAYWATCH much to the chagrin of the show´s producers. Erika is of course most famous for her incredibly steamy striptease in UNDER SIEGE so it´s no surprise that I re - posted her original cult siren entry in 2015 , in 2016 and also in 2018 .

People always wondered if there was a rivalry between Erika Eleniak and Pamela Anderson and if that was the reason Erika Eleniak left the show.

There are two different versions of the story but I think this article from Jake Davis on FETCH SPORT - which also takes an in depth look at Erika Eleniak´s life and career - comes closest to the truth. According to Pamela Anderson when she auditioned for the role of Jordan Tate in UNDER SIEGE Steven Seagal wanted to put her body to the test on the casting couch.

" When he saw me rehearsing the part where Jordan comes out of the cake he insisted on me giving him a personal strip show. He changed my costume to two strings of fabric thinner than shoe laces and after he got a huge erection in his pants he made me strip naked and wanted to act out a sex scene with me that was not in the script. And when I didn´t want to do it he told me that the next girl would get the role instead. " 

" I refused but Steven Seagal convinced Erika Eleniak to let him use her as his personal blow up sex doll during the entire shooting of the movie. He fucked her brains out six ways to Sunday. That´s how she got the role."

Erika Eleniak for her part denies these wild sex orgies ever happened.

" I learned a lot on that shoot watching Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey work. It was a hard shoot and I spent many long hours in Steven´s trailer. Yes, he was merciless drilling me but not during sweaty fuck marathons that lasted all night long where he relentlessly pounded every orifice of my body. We were just rehearsing scenes not sex scenes that were more explicit than porn movies. All these rumors that Steven tried to break me in with his giant member are just a product of Pamela Anderson´s sick fantasy. But it still was an incredible learning experience for me. "

What lends further credibility to Pamela Anderson´s claim is that Steven Seagal is well known for trying to get sexual favors from female co - stars.

90s erotic sexsation Shannon Whirry - for instance - had her acting debut in Out For Justice and it´s no stretch to assume that the naturally stacked softcore sexbomb who later became famous for doing it for real with her male co - stars on camera like in her movie Ringer had to spread her legs like a professional prostitute and pump Steven´s schlong to get the role.

Back to Erika Eleniak, she appeared in a few movies like BEVERLY HILL BILLIES, CHASERS ( where she had some pretty hot scenes ) , THE OPPONENT , STRIKE FORCE a.k.a. THE LIBRARIANS and BORDELLO OF BLOOD ( which got censored beyond recognition in Germany ) but she never achieved the level of success Pamela Anderson did. Not even Traci Bingham achieved that and she´s built like a porn star for crying out loud.

Coming back to afro - american aphrodite Traci Bingham, she almost was used like a nubian blow up sex doll by a horny producer of BAYWATCH :

" One of the producers came into my trailer because he wanted to see me in person. He asked me to put my red suit on, and wanted to look at me in the swimsuit. I don't know if it was a sex thing or a sexual - harassment type of deal, which I felt it was because he was looking at my 36D breasts intensely. He wanted to know what the deal was with my insanely huge breasts. When I told him that I was not padding my suit he didn´t believe me and said he had to make sure for himself. First he just kind of, like, touched under my breasts but then he slid his hands under my swimsuit and began to fondle my breasts. When he pulled them out and started to bury his face between them I could feel he was getting a huge erection. "

" When I grabbed him and shoved him out of my trailer he said he only wanted to make sure that I didn´t pad my suit but I´m sure that if I hadn´t stopped the pervert he would have assaulted me sexually. "

And for more on such baywatchable babes like Erika Eleniak ( who is of course most famous for her incredibly steamy striptease in UNDER SIEGE ), Krista Allen ( best remembered for getting her freak on as french blow up sex doll EMANUELLE in 8 made for tv movies ) or natural born go go dancer Carmen Elektra check out my latest BAYWATCH SPIN - OFF POSTS.

And we are staying in the 90s as one of Mtv´s best vjs EVER Ray Cokes celebrated his 62nd birthday. Here is a video from the time when Mtv still played music videos most of the time and Most Wanted was must see tv.



Speaking about must see tv, Edward James Olmos who turned 73 is best known to Today´s television audiences from shows like Marvel´s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. or Battlestar Galactica but for me he will always be the silent and charismatic Lieutenant Castillo from Miami Vice. No offense, but one of the things that always bugged me on the rebooted Battlestar Galactica series was the idea that the humans created the cylons. Although it would explain why two of the models were such hot sexbombs like Tricia Helfer and Grace Park. On the other side the cylons would never had to go to war against the humans because if you have an unlimited amount of copies of Tricia Helfer and Grace Park there is no male human who can resist you. I guess those toasters were still lacking in basic knowledge about humans.

Because there was an episode of Third Rock From The Sun where they tried to gain control of the world´s governments by sending in a squad of women who all looked like hot swimsuit models and when you have seen this episode and know that the toasters on Galactica have hot models like Tricia Helfer and Grace Park it makes the whole war against humanity and death to humans and violence thing seem unnecessary and over the top.

Speaking about Grace Park, right now they are showing the episodes of Hawaii Five - O without her and Daniel Dae Kim in Germany. And I have really tried to give the new team a chance but it´s just not the same.

Usually I don´t go for skinny chicks but I would love to get Grace Park on the casting couch for a long weekend auditioning for Nymphomanic Ex - Nun With A Lot Of Sexual Catching Up To Do. She got the whole asian persuasion thing going for her and I don´t want to use racial stereotypes but asian girls really do have the best bubblebutts in the world. I doubt there is any male alive who can resist Grace Park wiggling her whotsit.

When I was still in school we used to call girls with a body like Grace a carpenter´s wet dream : flat like a board but really a lot of fun to nail.

GIVING THE DEVIL HIS DUE or BETTER THE DEVIL YOU DON´T KNOW

Now the reason why I included this part is that it gives me a chance to write about one of my new favorite tv shows Lucifer where Tricia Helfer appeared in season 2. Now I don´t want to say too much about that because I don´t want to spoil anything and I want to write more about the show itself anyway.Which as some people may not know is based on a comicbook that spun out of the Sandman series written by Neil Gaiman.

As somewhat of a Neil Gaiman devotee I have written a few posts about him but if you never heard of Sandman you may check out my latest two posts on the series. Anyway, I always try to watch any adaption of Neil Gaiman´s work to movies and tv but after American Gods turned into a gay sausage party I was a bit reluctant to watch Lucifer. What didn´t help the matter was that - as Hollywood always does because Hollywood knows better than all the creative people who invented the damn thing in the first place and all the people who worked on it since - they made some changes to the story. This is not a spoiler because they say it in the first episode but our main protagonist is Lucifer Morningstar, a.k.a. the devil.

And because he sees himself as the good guy - which is the reason why he uses the name of Morningstar instead of one of the other names there are for the devil - he always dresses in white. But of course the tv people had to change it to black and totally screw up how Lucifer presents himself.

I don´t know why the movie and tv people always have to put characters in black that don´t dress in black in the comicbooks. It´s just ridiculous.

Shouldn´t they be going for diversity ( pun intended ) instead of making everybody look the same ? Anyway, so there was that and I wasn´t going to give the Lucifer tv show the light of day but then he had a cameo in the CW´s Crisis On Infinite Earths crossover event ( kudos for keeping that guest appearance under wraps ) where he looked like an interesting character. So I bought the first two seasons as a Christmas gift last year and because I don´t like to give presents unseen I watched the episodes.

Now I was ready to hate the series but I loved it and the main reason for that is Tom Ellis who plays Lucifer and who really kills it. He can perfectly do funny, sexy, angry, serious and everything inbetween and the one brilliant thing is that they made the whole show about Lucifer and his Daddy issues because that is something we can all relate to. The rest of the cast is equally brilliant - including Tricia Helfer - but Tom Ellis is just too much. Plus he is a really great singer. So far I have watched the first three seasons and I have heard that a lot of people think the third season is the worst but I  was just too happy to see Tom Welling again ( who also appeared in SMALLVILLE and the aforementioned CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS crossover ) to care. I guess one big thing why I enjoy Lucifer so much is that I never actually read the comicbook so I don´t know what else they have changed. In any case this series has my seal of approval.

Since I know that every video from Lucifer that I post will be deleted here is a clip with Tricia Helfer from Chuck, another tv show I haven´t tried yet.



February the 24th is just chock full of comicbook related birthdays as Greg LaRoque celebrated his 66th anniversary and I did a post about his run or better marathon for its length on LEGION OF SUPER - HEROES last year .

Plus while I have done a plethora of FLASH FRIDAY posts in the past ( for a long time it used to be a regular feature on the blog which is one of the reasons why I am not including links for all those posts either ) I have only done one FLASH FRIDAY post for Greg Larocque in 2017 . Although it is about issue 54 Nobody Dies which is arguably the best issue of this run.

OPEN THE DOOR GET ON THE FLOOR EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR

Another birthday shoutout goes to the great late Ricardo Rinaldi who has left a footprint in the german comic scene not only through his work for the Kauka Verlag on series like Fix und Foxi and Die Pichelsteiner ( the last one was especially popular because of curvy cave woman Petra ) but also as one of the founders of the International Comic Salon Erlangen in 1984.

Who could have been a candidate for playing Petra in a Pichelsteiner movie is italian 38C - 24 - 38 screen goddess Sophia Loren and since I haven´t managed to do a cult siren entry for her yet Today´s music video is her arousing performance of the song Carina from It Started In Naples .



And if I would do a movie about The Pichelsteiners now the role of sexy cavewoman Petra with her perfect, pertruding puppies would go to adult model / porn star Autumn Falls. Her birthday falls on the 4th of August and with her 32G ( all natural !!! ) - 24 - 35 measurements she would be perfect for the role. Plus she would have no problem doing an explicit sex scene.



We are staying in the Stone Age with The First Thanksgiving from BC, another successful comic strip that was turned into a cartoon show.



We have had cavemen and hot cavewomen, we have had dinosaurs and we have had science fiction but now prepare for a movie where cavemen, cavewomen and dinosaurs meet the science fiction genre in Brandon´s Cult Movie Review of Starcrash 2 a sequel which is not really a sequel.



Closing things out is a video on Will Eisner´s THE SPIRIT - Artist´s Edition.



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Old Jungle Saying : You never find The Phantom, he finds you.