Sunday, November 10, 2019

It´s just an american dream within a dream

I can´t sleep again so it´s only fitting that I´m putting my insomnia to good use to do a post in honor of the undisputed master of dreams, nightmares and stories, Neil Gaiman who celebrates his 59th birthday.


To the occassionnal reader it may seem that I am selecting the topics of these posts on whether the comicbook has been adapted into a movie or tv show but it just happens more often to people who come up with good stories. Mainly because Hollywood has ran out of ideas and is desperate for original content. For me Neil Gaiman will always be a comicbook writer first and a novelist second anyway. But it´s high time I did a full blown Neil Gaiman comicbook post since it has been roughly eight years since my last one. I can´t believe that was way back in 2011 . Man, if it wasn´t for cult siren Teri Hatcher ( she did the voice of the other mother in Coraline ) I only would get to write about him once a year in the post addendum.

Now a few of Neil Gaiman´s comics have been adapted to tv shows like AMERICAN GODS, LUCIFER or GOOD OMENS ( a personal favorite of mine ) but as you might have guessed from the title I am a bit old school when it comes to my reading material so Today´s post is all about DC´s SANDMAN.


It´s not only one of the series that changed the landscape comics forever and made millions of people reassess their opinion of the medium it´s also where I first read his brilliant thoughts and became a lifelong fan. I hate to sound like a broken record but one of my big hangups on the blog is killing two or more birds with one stone but while I was compiling the material for this post I found more and more original art from issue 54. Which was drawn by one of my favorite comic creators Mike Allred and introduced me to one of DC Comics´ wackiest creations : teenage president Prez Rickard from writer Joe Simon and Jerry Grandenetti´s short lived PREZ series.


And not only has Mike Allred been a constant supplier of some of my favorite comics over the last decades ( just check out his brilliant BUG series to see that he has lost none of his touch ) but he turned 50 this February and I hope this makes up for not doing a post on his birthday.


Originally I wanted to do a post with all of the brilliant artists who have worked on SANDMAN but thanks to my own self imposed rule of sticking to 23 pictures on a post ( this only relates to the main part of the post and an original art page and the colored version count as one picture ) and because I want to feature Neil Gaiman´s beautiful writing I am including the full story by Mike Allred. There is a framing sequence by another artist but I will safe that for another post. Which is the good news part. Because there is so much original art that I could not fit into this post there will be an entire additional post about the SANDMAN - hopefully in the not too distant future. But for now I leave you with the life story about Prez Rickard so masterfully retold by Neil Gaiman which is also a story not so much about America but the dream of the Americas.  


Now because there might be new readers on this blog and I know that we are all lazy I am putting up the links to my old Mike Allred posts for all those who don´t want to use the link at the bottom of my top ten Popular Posts and then go through all the posts via the Mike Allred tag.

My first post was in 2006 about the X - STATIX presents DEAD GIRL mini series and the fact that it looks much better in printed form than in the previews you could see online. In 2007 I did three posts about the main X - Statix series which I guess were pretty popular with the readers since the third one of the series ended up in said top ten of popular posts. And last but not least there is my obligatory big Madman comic extravaganza post .


We are still going through the celebrity birthdays for November the 10th and next is sexbomb extraordinaire Athena Massey who turns 51. While you might have seen her on Seinfeld or Black Scorpion she is best know for baring everything as the über bodacious yet sex starved cop Cindy Hannen in one of the most spectacular skin flick classics of all times, namely Greg Hyppolite´s sexsational squirt marathon Undercover Heat .


Even if the story is nothing new - a female cop has to go undercover as a callgirl to find a serial killer - Undercover Heat is one of the best erotic movies I have seen because it has the perfect blend of crime, suspense, erotic and humor that few directors of this genre achieve. It also has a nice pacing of five minutes of story development followed by five minutes of erotic scenes and so on. But the biggest reason why this movie is so entertaining is the stunning Athena Massey and her spectacular body.


The character Athena plays is a somewhat repressed woman who never had much time besides her police work to explore her sexuality but as she goes undercover she makes up for that in spades. The plan going in is that her superior will send her clients so she can keep her cover and give him regular status reports. But as they sometimes come too late - to their appointments that is not as in relayed ejaculation - the sex deprived bombshell is already busy sexperimenting with the other potent studs.


There is even a threesome with a client and his big breasted wife so this movie has it all. So this is my recommendation for the day and if you haven´t seen it yet you definitely have to check out Undercover Heat.


MOVIE RUMMAGE TABLE WITH VANESSA ANGEL AND LORRI BAGLEY

With blonde beach body Vanessa Angel who celebrates her 53rd birthday there are a few comic connections although I´m not sure if the tv series Weird Science counts since it only had the same title as the EC comic.


Another science fiction related role for the leggy 34C bobshell was Anisa / Freya in Stargate SG 1 and her breakout performance was the russian sex bomb in Spies Like Us. She is the only reason why people still remember it.


The movie came out shortly before Michail Gorbatschow´s Perestroika initiative came into effect and while I don´t claim that Vanessa Angel is the sole reason that people from all over the world started to look upon russians in a new light she surely gave the term Glasnost a new meaning.



But Vanessa is best known the main distraction in Kingpin with Woody Harrelson which was not a movie about the famous Spider - Man villain.


With her comedic skills and her killer 34C - 25 - 35 measurements I always wondered why Vanessa didn´t have a bigger movie career in Hollywood.


Longtime readers know that one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .



So I want to give credit where credit is due and at the same time address one of the big misconceptions about Kingpin : the hot sexbomb who is giving aptly named actor Randy Quaid a lapdance is not Vanessa Angel but rather natural born stripper Lorri Bagley. Now there are various reasons why the cofusion is understandable. For one Lorri Bagley has a similar build to Vanessa Angel and with her stunning 34 - 25 - 36 measurements ( 86 - 64 - 91 for my german readers ) she can give Vanessa a run for her money.


The other reason is that Lorri Bagley´s scenes may not be in the version of the movie you are familiar with. As usual I have to backtrack a bit but the last few times I have seen the movie it was on tv and I missed quite a few of the hot scenes with Lorri Bagley and Vanessa Angel. Now I might have chalked that up to my normal paranoia about movies and censorship but then I found some clips from the movie online and there were the raunchy scenes with Lorri Bagley and Vanessa Angel in a bikini that I didn´t recall.


For my readers abroad I should probably explain that german tv stations tend to make their own version of movies depending on sensibilities and when they show it. A movie you might see in the afternoon will be heavily cut while if you catch the rerun after midnight there might be lesser cuts.


On top of that german tv stations have to control everything and there even was an incident where the director of a movie only allowed one trailer to be shown that he had made himself and the german tv station that showed the movie insisted on not showing that trailer because they had not made it and so there could be some stuff that was inappropriate for their viewers and instead they just showed a montage of a few photos of the movie. Censored movies in Germany are a topic that I have often written about on this blog and what you must understand is that there are certain levels to what is called an uncut version in Germany. First there is the truly uncut version which is the film in its original length which is like catching a unicorn in Germany. It just doesn´t happen that often.


Then there is the uncut version which means that it is the version that was released in german movie theaters after it has been cut to pass the german FSK censorship board and has not been cut any further. And then there is the uncut version which is how it was shown on tv but neither the longer version that was in the cinemas nor the truly uncut version.

In regards to Lorri Bagley´s scenes they are neither in the german version on DVD or on tv and you can only see them in the Making Of part if it is included at all. So with Kingpin you have to be careful which version you get. That´s right, there are two versions of the movie ( actually more than two but we will come to this later ), the original theatrical cut of the US with a running time of 1:48:46 minutes including credits and also an extended UK cut with a running time of 1:56:56 minutes including credits.



There are 9 censored scenes and 5 alternative scenes with a complete running time of the new material of 241 seconds and all of Lorri Bagley´s scenes are not included in the original theatrical cut. There is one longer scene where you can see her better because beside her pornstar body you can also see her face and you can clearly see that she´s not Vanessa Angel but this scene was also cut. You can find all the alterations that were done to the movie on the german censorship report for the movie and the american one but according to my research there are at least three versions : the US version which is 117 minutes long, the UK version which is 107 minutes long and there is a third UK version which I found on amazon which is 121 minutes long. Not counting the german tv version.



Usually I would opt for the spanish version but as I had to so painfully learn with Halle Berry´s Monster´s Ball just because a version is longer does not mean it is the less censored version. I hope I can still make a longer post of this to explain it at length but the short version is that I finally decided to get this movie and only looked up the running time of the spanish version and the german version to make sure I got the right one. So I had to go to a lot of trouble to find the movie but when I got home I did a little research - because the most important part of Halle Berry´s sex scene was not in it - only to learn that the spanish version was censored.


Then I got the german version and because I had read that there were two versions with different frame sizes I got both. As it turns out the technical specs for the movies were wrong and I ended up with two identical versions. Now the reason why I am talking about the frame size is that they cut part of the frame so that it fits the new long tv screens better and wouldn´t you know the part they decided to cut is the one where you can see that Halle Berry really milked Thornton´s rock hard Billy Bob dry in front of the entire crew. Which is one of the reasons why so many people did not believe they really did it on camera. If you have not seen the movie in the theater you can only see this on the internet and I can´t count how often this scene was cut. First it was cut - a few times actually - so they could show it in the cinema, then it was cut so they could sell it on DVD and BlueRay ( which in my opinion is a rip off since you don´t get what you want to see ) and then the picture format was cut to eliminate the best parts of it. I guess in this case size really did matter.


And to think that one of the best sex scenes in film history almost didn´t happen. The director Marc Forster originally didn´t cast Halle Berry in the female lead role because he thought she was too beautiful and while he knew the natural born blow up sex doll could easily deliver some Last Boy Scout type strip action and had already bared her boobs in Password : Swordfish he didn´t think she would be willing to do explicit sex scenes.


Thankfully Halle´s manager secretly slipped her the script and Halle got in contact with the director and had several talks and long, private meetings with him. We do not know exactly to which kind of depraved hardcore midnight sex olympics Halle Berry subjected Marc Forster during these meetings to convince him that she had the necessary skills to believably portray a prostitute but she must have dicktamed him six ways to Sunday to wear him down and let all of her nymphomanic urges out because after the third weekend long ejaculation sex marathon Halle Berry got the role.


And according to one of her ex - lovers this is her second nature : Halle Berry is a kinky sex freak. She used me as her boy toy. She deepthroated me for hours to give me a giant erection and then rode relentlessly on my rock hard member in a dentist´s chair with her huge breasts pounding against me until she had multiple orgasms. Sounds like my kind of woman.


In the bedroom I take control because looks are not enough to make a fella stay faithful : you must bang his brains out. You have to be a friend, be independent , be a lady and shy but you need to be a total sex freak in the bed and milk his dick - make him squirt until he´s completely dry.


Longtime readers know that Halle Berry is one of my all time wet sex fantasies so not only does she appear in my Justice League of America movie casting she had even four solo posts . But of course it was only a question of time before I added some new ones so last year I wrote four more : the first one about Halle Berry in her best movies , the second one on Halle Berry´s comic book movies , part three about my dream comic book movie casting with Halle Berry and the unexpected bonus round .


Anyway, coming back to Vanessa Angel and Lorri Bagley in Kingpin besides the lapdance scene there is also a scene with Vanessa Angel in a bikini that only appears in a montage in the longer uncut version and I don´t recall this scene from the fight between Vanessa and Woody Harrelson.


It might have been cut on german tv, maybe they cut the entire fight or my memory is really bad and I was too busy drooling over Vanessa Angel.



Speaking about beating a raging woody, Woody Harrelson is one lucky guy because not only did he get his grubby paw all over stripper pro Demi Moore ( who is the number one in my Top Movie Stripteases thanks to her spectacular performance in Striptease ) in Indecent Proposal and MILF Rosie Perez in White Man Can´t Jump I´m pretty sure he also got to bone at least one of his female co - stars in this movie Vanessa Angel or Lorri Bagley. If he didn´t do them both. In any case I am sure there were some late night meetings in Woody Harrelson´s trailer rehearsing sex scenes !!!


Putting a bow on the birthday part of Today there are more awesome anniversaries from November the 5th to the 10th in my second post on Dale Keown´s run on the Hulk and just the 10th in my second Darick Robertson post from 2016 . Which longtime followers of the blog know I like to mention a lot because it also features somebody I can only dream about : the incomparable hasian 40D cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya Han.


So far I had written six posts on Yaya - two of them are pretty safe but the other four are absolutely not safe for work - and I keep mentioning her on various JLA casting posts and any other posts involving asian sexbombs like Kiana Tom, Ava Cadell, Akira Lane, Miko Lee, Gail Kim or Minka and I swear the completely NSFW BIG YAYA HAN POST is still in the pipeline. In the meantime I have made two new posts about Yaya which showcase a part of her incredible anatomy that I have ignored too often - her legs.


Not only does Yaya Han look like she could star in a Russ Meyer movie Super Sonico sounds like a name from a Russ Meyer movie, especially SuperVixens where every woman had the word super in her name.


Although it would probably be something a bit more erotic like Super Spermico. Speaking of sperm, as my personal nurse and blow up sex doll Yaya would have to give me at least three daily spongebaths although instead of a sponge Yaya can use her big 40D oppai to massage my boner until I am ready for her patented extreme asian ejaculation escalation.


You can read more about why Yaya should be my private nurse and how she inspired my new comic VERSAUTE BETTGESCHICHTEN in this post .


Speaking of dreams, I have tried to continue this theme in the pop culture section but of course it are my esteemed readers who have to decide if I succeeded or not. We start with the star of Neil Gaiman´s SANDMAN and since there has been no movie or tv series about I there are probably a lot of people out there who need more information about Morpheus origin.



One of my favorite animated movies is Coraline so for everybody who has not seen it yet here is a review that will hopefully wet your appetite.



I wanted to include a video about Neil Gaiman himself and this is one I wanted to post for a long time. One of the reasons is that I could listen to Neil without end. I mean it, he has one of the most captivating voices especially when he is reading his own work although he could probably read the phone book and keep his audience completely entertained.



Today´s post was not about dreams in general so I just have to include the first American Dream that comes to my mind : the late Dusty Rhodes. 



Originally I was looking for a video of Little Nemo In Slumberland since it is the most famous comics about dreams and they made an animated film in 2008. But since I only found short clips I am including another cartoon that also has to do with dreams. Sorry if I am keeping it a little vague but that makes it easier for me if I have to replace the video if it gets deleted.



Since I am saving Yaya Han´s videos for my upcoming Darick Robertson post I finally get to feature one of my dream girls from the 90s : brabusting pop star ( I wish ! ) Cathy Dennis with her smash hit Just Another Dream.



The girls who spurr our dreams - or better the lengths to which we go to make them notice us - is also what Today´s special episode of Are You Afraid Of The Dark ? called The Tale Of The Dream Machine is all about.



For those who prefer more intense horror entertainment here is the rare black and white Hammer Studio movie Nightmare and I am not giving you any spoilers on this one because I don´t want to ruin any plot surprises.



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best


I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.

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