Tuesday, August 14, 2018

I´m still not finished with Halle Berry Day !

As promised in the second part of this post here is the continuation of this year´s re -post in honor of MILF cult siren Halle Berry´s 52nd birthday.


Since I did write / am writing this in advance this ( and the other parts ) will go back to the draft folder as soon as they are finished but do not fear - they will be on the blog at the time of Halle Berry´s actual birthday.

SUBZERO´S HALLE BERRY MOVIE CASTING : KEVIN J. TAYLOR´S THE GIRL

Going topless didn´t ruin her career even if it wasn´t her best movie. There is also another comic adaption for which Halle would be perfect.


I am talking about Kevin J. Taylor´s The Girl series where I originally had Halle as the main character but I gave that role to Janet " the best body in showbiz " Jackson this year based on her quasi audition for that role in Jermaine Dupri´s mega raunchy music video Gotta Getcha where Janet plays a extremely busty stripper dressed up as a school girl / teacher .


It´s what I call casting at it´s best because Janet Jackson was just born for that role. Not only is she predestined to play a stripper because of her incredibly fit and flexible pornstar hardbody which could have earned her a fortune as a big super star in the adult entertainment industry she has some incredible stripper moves that make real striptease pros envious.


Okay, I don´t know if the script said explicitly " busty stripper " but with her huge melons it´s the only kind of stripper Janet can believably portray.


And because it´s an adult title Janet can even use her stripper moves and live out her sexual urges. Like during her Velvet Rope tour where she tied down male audience members and used them as her personal sex toys.


I just hope we can get some well hung male actors who can give Janet a real challenge where the explicit sex marathon scenes are concerned.


I always knew that Janet was a sex freak ( Janet admitted to joining the Mile High Club and is a well known size queen ) and although the rumors that Bobby Brown banged her in the 80s might not be true it is much more believable that she used Justin Timberlake as her sextoy and dumped him after a month of steamy sex marathons . According to Justin it took Janet an hour to get in my pants after we first hooked up and she was so wild in bed that I didn´t know how to handle it. I was falling in love with Miss Jackson but during our get - togethers she only wanted to have sex.


Some months ago I found a Making Of from that video and I have to say I´m not sure how I feel about the fact that originally Janet was supposed to play a nymphomanic dominatrix but they skipped that because it would hit too close to home according to Janet herself. Say what ? So Janet is a nymphomanic dominatrix in the privacy of her own bedroom ? Daiiiiimn !


I don´t think of myself as sexy but I am a very sexual being, I always have sex on my mind. I feel very comfortable with it and I think it´s great if a guy has a good sized package. I know the effect my body has on guys so I sometimes use it to get especially well hung guys into my bedroom where I tie them to the bed and bang their brains out in a marathon sex orgy. I go completely crazy and make them squirt again and again until they are completely drained. I regret doing it but I´ll turn around and do it again. 


Also since it´s not very realistic to have just one girl in a strip club I could cast Halle Berry again ( as well as include Beyonce and Mariah Carey who´d make great hookers ) who has already shown she has the stripper skills.


Although now that I think of it she may be better suited to play Marty who is not a stripper. Doesn´t she own a record store or something ?


Which would mean that we would not get any striptease scenes with Halle Berry but there would be enough nude / sex scenes to make up for that.


I don´t know how far Halle would go to bring the extremely explicit sex scenes with the orally fixated nymphomaniac Marty to the big screen but she has shown she can push the boundaries and get down to business.


Since I mentioned Mariah Carey, she would naturally play orally fixated deepthroat specialist Jill since Kevin Taylor himself has casted her in that role and who am I to argue with such a master of erotic comic books ?


Naturally every strip club needs an asian sexbomb and I would cast cosplay queen Yaya Han whose spectacular body was made for these kind of roles.


Which is not some kind of racial stereotype about asian women being genetically engineered to be perfect blow up sex dolls for men through centuries of prostitution, just stating that she gave herself porn implants.


I don´t know how good her abilities as a stripper are but we all know that she has the necessary bust to fill out the role with her giant 40D oppai.


And there just has to be a way how we can get Yaya Han to wear the same outfit as Akira Lane below. Can you imagine Yaya Han´s king sized XXL breasts with the areolas of the nipples being totally visible in that mesh shirt and her naked butt only covered by a tiny string of dental floss ?


So far I have written six posts on Yaya - two of them are pretty safe but the other four are absolutely not safe for work - and I keep mentioning her on various JLA casting posts and any other posts involving asian sexbombs like Kiana Tom, Ava Cadell, Akira Lane, Miko Lee, Gail Kim or Minka and I swear the completely NSFW BIG YAYA HAN POST is still in the pipeline. In the meantime I have made two new posts about Yaya which showcases a part of her anatomy that I have ignored too often - her legs.

  
One reason why Miko Lee kept popping up in the posts about Yaya Han is that I needed a body double for Yaya´s more explicit scenes I had in mind.


Which is not ideal since Yaya Han has a 40D bust and Miko Lee is nowhere near in that league. Thankfully it looks like hasian talk show host Jeannie Mai is auditioning for the part and while she also is a bit smaller than Yaya in the chest area she does have an impressive skill set. I am convinced.


This hot sexbomb is of vietnamese descend and even though she is " only " a 37C and not a 40D like Yaya Han I think she could be a body double for explicit scenes. At least it would be fun to put her body to the test.


I have finally found some episodes of Snoop Dogg presents The Joker´s Wild and they are not re - inventing the wheel but hot daimn, Jeannie Mai looks spectacular and her cleavage alone is worth the price of admission.


As promised here is the next new videos with her. Daimn, every time I see her talk I imagine those perfectly formed sweet lips wrapped around my boner going all the way with some asian lubrication since we all know that when it comes to deepthroating nobody can hold a candle to asian girls.



Now I have seen the Black Panther movie and as any comic book fan worth his money knows great parts of it were taken directly from Christopher Priest´s run. I am not going to do a full review of the movie here because there are the usual SJW flaws and I feel that there are enough people out there who have pointed out all the things that are wrong or illogical in that movie. So I am just going to mention MY biggest disappointment which was that the one thing that Halle Berry - or any other hot afro american / nubian sex goddesses like Janet Jackson - was not in it.


Which may sound like a personal preference thing of a pervy old guy - and to some extent it is - but the thing nobody talks about in regards to Black Panther is : if Wakanda really developed without any outside interference by the white colonialists ( which is something that gets hammered into our brain constantly throughout the entire movie ) and is such a female dominated society ( which is not mentioned so blatantly but in fact it is as all even the defenders of Wakanda are female, there are no males who fight on T´Challa´s side except for Everett K. Ross and he´s an outsider ) then where are all the topless tribeswomen ? I mean, the only reason why women in african countries started to cover up their naked breasts is that the white christian missionaries told them it was sin to show what god gave them. And in Wakanda there - at least allegedly - have never been white missionaries. Also women would not cover their breasts in a female dominated society. So there is no reason why there should be no topless tribeswomen in Wakanda. The only reason there aren´t any are the SJWs.


So on one side there are too many women in that movie who constantly try to steal the limelight from T´Challa or at least belittle him by ridiculing him and on the other side there are not enough. At least not enough of those that really count. I mean, there were a few ritual ceremonies in the movie so you can´t tell me you could not have stuck a few topless tribes women - preferably of the caliber of Halle Berry - somewhere in there.


And it´s not like this would be unprecedented for Halle Berry who did a remarkable sexy dance ( not a striptease as she didn´t take her clothes off ) in The Last Boy Scout , teased us in Catwoman and finally delivered in Password : Swordfish and Monster´s Ball . She also appears in my Justice League of America movie casting and got even four solo posts .


So I think Black Panther would have greatly benefit by having Halle Berry in the cast and I would even have volunteered to direct the parts with her which would be a dream come true for me. Of course I would insist on personally rehearsing the explicit sex scenes for hours after the rest of the crew has left the set - for the whole weekend. A very long weekend.


And according to one of her ex - lovers this is her second nature : Halle Berry is a kinky sex freak. She used me as her boy toy. She deepthroated me for hours to give me a giant erection and then rode relentlessly on my rock hard member in a dentist´s chair with her huge breasts pounding against me until she had multiple orgasms. Sounds like my kind of woman.


In the bedroom I take control because looks are not enough to make a fella stay faithful : you must bang his brains out. You have to be a friend, be independent , be a lady and shy but you need to be a total sex freak in the bed and milk his dick - make him squirt until he´s completely dry.


Which is what she did with Billy Bob Thornton in Monster´s Ball. Speaking of which, so far I haven´t had the opportunity to add that milestone of mammary movie history to my collection and as I just recently found out that may have been for the best. Because there are two versions so you have to be careful which DVD or BlueRay you buy if you want to see the full uncut sex scene with Halle Berry riding Billy´s bobbing thornton like a wild rodeo horse. As far as I know both versions are out in the US but I have no idea how things are in Europe. All the german copies go 108 minutes while the spanish version goes 111 minutes so this might be a movie I will have to get in Spain but who knows when I have the chance.


Now I did find some GIFs online and part of what seems to be missing in the cut version is proof of that Halle really did bang Billy Bob Thornton´s brains out for real as you can see his rockhard meatpole and his monster balls. Which might be the reason why there was so much speculation if they really did it. If all movie goers had seen the full scene there had be no doubt about it. Now there is no explicit penetration shown - they did not go that far - but you see enough to realize they are doing it for real.


Which always gives boners that extra edge. There are a few movies where you can see such explicit scenes and I remember that the first one I saw was in a cheap erotic horror movie. I didn´t expect more than the usual nude scenes but suddenly you saw the hot sexbomb of turn riding the lucky stiff´s stiff member and instead of the usual blanket covering her nude butt there was nothing there as his schlong was sliding inside her.


At first I thought this was one of those porn movies they used to show on german tv where they cut the good scenes ( which totally defeated the purpose of showing those kind of movies ) and they had forgotten to cut that part. But no, it was just your basic cheap Hollywood horror skin flick where - as according to urban legend is wont to happen from time to time and there are a few movies with Shannon Whirry that include such scenes which may have something to do with her becoming such a big midnight movie star in the 90s - the actors got bored or drunk or horny or all of the above and decided to do it for real. And as it could not be any other way the director choose that take for the movie. I sadly don´t remember the title of the movie but I know that the story involved the figures of a wax museum coming to life again. I know, that doesn´t really narrow it down.



Everybody loves a good Top 10 so I chose this since the post is a bit more geared to adults. Now mind you, the animated movies in here were chosen mainly for more mature content which doesn´t equal porn or hentai so you won´t find La Blue Girl, Rinkan Club or Urotsukidoji here.



Since we got that asian persuasion going on with Yaya Han and Jeannie Mai it´s time for more hot k - pop videos and our sexbomb du jour is T - Ara´s Hyomin with some extremely arousing performances of her smash hit Nice Body although her body is more than nice. Initially I just wanted to include one video but it was too hard ( no pun intended ) to choose.







When I saw the first video of Piper Blush on I was not sure if it was serious or some kind of prank. The only thing I suspected was that with her giant melons she must be a porn star but she´s so much more. Not only can you find the canadian adult model, writer, performance artist and porn star with the incredible 37F ( which is the same as 37DDD ! ) measurements on a website that´s all about oral sex but she´s a confessed blowjob addict !



There are a few videos of her and it was really hard ( ! ) selecting only two but I had to include the one about female body language because it´s the only one where she is repeatedly leaning forward giving us a nice view of her boobs. And if you like the second one do yourself a favor and check out all her french lesson videos. Now I had french lessons for more than four years back in school and I don´t know if I would have learned more or less if my french teacher would have had such giant hooters like Piper. I do know that I would have had a hard time concentrating on Piper´s lessons.



We close things up on this year´s Halle Berry tribute posts with another erotic movie that involves bikinis, Eve´s Beach Fantasy which I mainly bookmarked because it´s from Troma Films and you might want to skip to the good part which is in the third act when Eve finally gets her freak on.



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best


It´s not the men in your life that matters but the life in your men.

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