Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Best butt in showbiz Wednesday with Janet

Just when I had finally given up all hope to do a post in honor of my all time favorite sexbomb Janet " Booty " Jackson ( a nickname she got from her dancers - she got less nice ones from her brothers as we will come to in a moment ) I come across enough material to warrant doing a new post.

At the beginning of each month I go through the posting of the month from previous years to see which comic related birthdays I have already covered, from which ones I still have some material left and where I had to cut the posting short or have other reasons to continue where I left off.

Of course I also check the previous cult siren posts to see which ones I already did and which ones I only thought I did but actually didn´t ( which happens more often then you think ), which ones I should have added to the blog already, which ones I will only mention because I do not have enough material to do a full blown post and where I want to make a re - post because a. ) it´s one of my favorites, b. ) I wasn´t satisfied with the last version I did and want to tweak it a bit or c. ) I have found some new material or there is new stuff I want to comment on which I fell has to be added to the old post. So I checked the Janet Jackson´s birthday posts I had done so far and after going through my files I decided that I would not do another re - post since there was really nothing new or important to add. If you have followed my blog you have seen that I mentioned her briefly in the last post and just put a link for Janet´s post from last year.

And with that I had everything covered. Or so I thought. Of course things didn´t turn out as planned. Because - as always - when I was putting all the material I had come across in the respective folders ( so I can find it again when I need it, a process that can take up a few days ) I found a lot of new animated GIFs of Janet Jackson´s Pleasure Principle music video. 

Now one of the reasons why I try to avoid doing re - posts ( which some readers might not believe because there is quite a number of them every year ) is that I always want to put something new on the blog. I don´t like it when they change things in comic books just to change things without having a good story or - what´s worse - if it doesn´t make any sense. It happens a lot in comics right now especially what used to be Marvel and while I started reading american comics during one of the periods with the most change at least they stayed true to the characters and we got a good story out of it. Some of the stories from that time - as well as some of the new heroes that were introduced - are still some of my favorites.

And speaking of favorites, this brings us right back to bootylicious Janet Jackson. In my opinion she got the best body in showbiz, especially her incredibly round derriere is a wonder to behold and could easily go head to head ( or butt to butt ) with the likes of Beyonce or Jennifer Lopez.

Sadly, Janet doesn´t seem to think so which has to do with the fact that she has had problems with her body image since an early age. Her body developed very early and she was teased for her round butt by her brother Michael gave her the nickname " dunk " because he thought she looked like a donkey and that was one of the nicer names her brothers called her.

They also called her cow, pig, horse or slaughter - hog. Now as one can imagine that didn´t really help Janet to like her booty so you don´t see her backside in most of her videos. There is a quick glance at her tight jeans from behind in the Black Cat video but one of the few where you can enjoy seeing her lower back in action is The Pleasure Principle.

And coming back to the question of putting something new on the blog most of my posts around Janet Jackson have centered around her boobs.

It has also been three years since I did my last BIG CULO DAY post and so I have decided to slap two butts with one stroke. So this post is kind of a late homage to all those - as QUEEN so eloquently said it - fat bottomed girls that make the rocking world go round but especially Janet Jackson.

Maybe other bloggers out there will also use the opportunity to let Janet know that there´s nothing wrong with her body. Hell, most men would do anything to get lucky with her and especially get their hands on her butt.

But no matter how we might see her Janet had difficulties with realizing her a status as an international sex icon and role model for women and I was surprised when I found out she had body issue problems since she was ten when her booming body caught the attention of others :

I was actually doing GOOD TIMES, and on our first day of shooting they bound my chest because they thought my breasts were too big. I got the part when I was 10, we started shooting when I was 11 - I was developing early. It made me feel that the way that I am, it’s not good enough.

As Janet recounted in an interview with TODAYBefore production began, I was told two things : I was fat and needed to slim down, and because I was beginning to develop, I needed to bind my breasts. In both cases the message was devastating - my body was wrong. The message was also clear - to be successful, I had to change the way I looked.

I didn’t even know what it meant to “ bind my breasts. ” At first I was frightened. Were they talking about some kind of operation ? For a girl so young, this was confusing. Naturally, I kept the confusion to myself.

“ It means we need to tie down your breasts so you appear flat - chested, ” the wardrobe woman explained. Each day of shooting I went through the ordeal of having wide strips of gauze tied across my chest to hide the natural shape of my breasts. It was uncomfortable and humiliating. I did literally bang my head against the wall because I didn´t feel attractive .

So while all the guys tried to tap her ass Janet probably thought they were trying to punk her or play a cruel joke on her which must have led to a lot of frustration and blue balls. Coming back - no pun intended - to the few music videos where we got to see Janet´s bum it is just epic in the All Night ( Don´t Stop ) video. The video was ahead of its time for at least a decade and it just that Janet is just oozing sex appeal because she is at her sexiest despite being almost fully clothed except for her exposed mid section. I remember that I had to stay up after midnight to tape the uncensored version with the vcr because they had done a censored version after the superbowl incident which was shown through the day.

Now I must have seen the video a few hundred times but I´m still not sure what it says on Janet Jackson´s shirt. At first I thought the first word was " campus " so I started to see all kind of perverted messages from " campus sextoy " to " campus slut " and " campus sucki ". Let me tell you, I was so totally disappointed when I finally went through the video frame by frame and found out it is most likely " computers suck ". Although when I look at it now ... I´m still not sure. Can anybody out there verify the inscription ?

Speaking of her hit All Night ( Don´t Stop ) and keeping in mind that this post is celebrating Janet´s ASSets I have to mention her live performance on The Tonight Show back when Jay Leno was the host because she had one of her best wardrobe malfunctions EVER which exposed her butt.

During that performance Janet had some problems with keeping her pants on as it seems that she miscalculated the weight of the cable box thingie.

Janet was already wearing her jeans way low but the added weight of it plus the chains she put on were pulling her pants down showing lots of butt cleavage ! Also her constant grinding and hip shaking didn´t help much either. But Janet was a real trooper and kept going even if the audience got to see more naked butt than she initially intended to show.

Throughout the entire performance she kept pulling up her jeans to cover up her juicy cheeks and at the end she almost managed to get it under control but at the beginning you can see that she really has no reason to be ashamed in that department. She didn´t completely loose her pants - sigh - but it slid waay down to give a good view of her almost uncovered bubble butt and you even could see her bum cleft for short periods.

You can find more animated GIFs from this performance in this post .

The entire world also got a good look at her still pretty firm and round buttocks during the season finale of American Idol where she performed a medley of Again, Nothing and Nasty. Not to mention her XXL milkshakes.

But the non plus ultra of exposed cheeks is Jermaine Dupri´s Gotta Getcha where she plays a busty stripper dressed up as a school girl / teacher which was too steamy for german music tv. Although Janet´s skimpy sex outfits may be a thing of the past now that she has married once again.

In any case we still have this video and that´s what I call casting at it´s best because Janet Jackson was just born for that role. Not only is she predestined to play a stripper since she has the best bod in showbiz she has some incredible stripper moves that make real striptease pros envious.

Okay, I don´t know if the script said explicitly " busty stripper " but with her huge melons it´s the only kind of stripper Janet can believably portray.

A few months ago I found a Making Of from that video and I have to say I´m not sure how I feel about the fact that originally Janet was supposed to play a nymphomanic dominatrix but they skipped that because it would hit too close to home according to Janet herself. Say what ? So Janet is a nymphomanic dominatrix in the privacy of her own bedroom ? Daiiiiimn !

If the teachers on our school would have looked like that I never would have skipped classes. I would even have gone to detention if Janet was the supervisor. I really wouldn´t mind getting a long oral exam from her !

I always knew that Janet was a sex freak ( Janet admitted to joining the Mile High Club and is a well known size queen ) and although the rumors that Bobby Brown banged her in the 80s might not be true it is much more believable that she used Justin Timberlake as her sextoy and dumped him after a month of steamy sex marathons . According to Justin it took Janet an hour to get in my pants after we first hooked up and she was so wild in bed that I didn´t know how to handle it. I was falling in love with Miss Jackson but during our get - togethers she only wanted to have sex.  

As much as I may respect Justin Timberlake as an artist I find it hard to feel pity for him because he had what every male on the planet would kill for and we all know how he screwed that up. But since we are on the subject of that particular music video it gave me an idea to cast Janet in a different role in my JLA movie casting. Longtime readers may remember that she was in a few of my CASTING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA MOVIE posts, first as Green Lantern Soranik Natu in a solo post , then as Dawn in my second alternates post and finally in my latest alternates post as the nymphomanic french teacher Dominique Deepthroat from the JUSTICE LEAGUE EUROPE issue where the team had to take french lessons. That way I had Darlene Silva as Dawn and Halle Berry as Katma Tui ( although she would get a very special Green Lantern uniform to show off her breast assets ) and I just have to keep Halle in my movie cast.

On top of that I can also have Beyonce ( as Vixen ) and Mariah Carey.

Speaking of casting calls for comic books there is another comic movie adaption for which Janet would be perfect, Kevin J. Taylor´s The Girl.

And this is where I had to cut things off because the post was getting too long. But don´t fear, if you want to read more about some comic movie sexbomb casting just use this link and read on in the second part. And prepare some tissues because you will most definitely cream your pants.

Anyway, coming back to the reason for doing this post I wanted to pay homage to Janet but also post something new and like I said I already had passed on doing a re - post of last year´s post when I came upon a lot of GIFs from an old Janet video. The younger generations may not be aware of it but Janet Jackson has one of the best dance videos of all times.

But not only does Janet show off her athleticism, her incredible dancing and acrobatic skills like when she spins around before doing the splits.

On top of her dance routine we also get to see her incredible booty in tight pants. Even back then she could not hide the awesome buttocks.

Originally I just wanted to post the GIFs where you can see Janet´s basst side but since I I really found a lot of these GIFs I decided to post the best. I also checked the internet to make sure I´m not just copying somebody else´s work and I couldn´t find any similar post. Since I found these GIFs on all kind of websites I may be excused for not including any links. I have tried to put them in the proper order but there may be a few snafus. Anyway, here is Janet in one of her best performances - EVER.

Now even with all these GIFs it´s not the same as watching Janet go through the complete dance routine so if you haven´t yet - or have not done so in a long time - go check out the original video. It´s so worth it !

Speaking of being worth it, usually my cult siren posts don´t have a lot of links concerning the woman in question but doing the research for the post ( I always try to verify the things I write with true data and separate fact from fiction as good as I can ) here are a few articles I think might be interesting for my readers even if I could not fit them in the main text :

As I already mentioned Janet Jackson has this strange dual status as being an international sex symbol and a role model for women, apparently a dichotomy reflected by Samantha Vincenty on POPCRUSH who explains How Janet Jackson´s CONTROL Changed My Life which in turn I like to follow by John Cannady´s declaration on THE URBAN DAILY that 8 Janet Jackson Videos That Changed Me From Boy To Man. You can also find a post by Johnathan Hailey on that same website with Janet Jackson´s 10 raciest lyrics , Mike Wass on IDOLATOR brings us Go Deep : A Brief History Of Janet Jackson´s Raunchiest Sex Anthems, Michael Arceneaux on VH1 confirms Janet´s sex freak status with her 15 greatest sex jams and for the coup de grace Cypress Moss on THE RAW SUGA has a post on Janet Jackson´s 10 Top Sexiest Songs that includes a lot of animated GIFs. There is a long interview about fame and the topic of sex in her songs from THE GUARDIAN and an even longer one at ROLLING STONE on The Joy of Sex.

As it´s only been a few days since the previous post and I´m doing the next one uncharacteristically soon - Tomorrow - there are a few past celebrity birthdays I want to mention. Like always these are just a few choice ones I find important or noteworthy and are not meant to be in any way complete as I´m skipping some that I already covered in previous posts and on which I have no new material. That said I want to start with the birthdays for May the 21st and artist Joe Benitez who turned 46.

He was one of the more successful artists out of TOP COW during the early iMAGE days who didn´t try to ape Michael Turner like so many others.

I enjoyed his Weapon Zero series and some years back I bought a lot of the Fathom related books at the Internationa Comic Salon in Erlangen because I was thinking about becoming more invested in that universe but then Michael Turner died and that stopped my impetus. Which in turn made me loose track of ASPEN and Joe Benitez but the last two years his contributions to Free Comic Book Day were among the more interesting things I have read. Especially his Wraithborn series where oddly enough the - let´s say more soap opera like - everyday aspects of the heroine´s ordinary life are more interesting for me. But that´s what I always say about Free Comic Book Day : the purpose is not to get as many free comics as you can and concentrate on the books you are reading anyway.

The idea behind it is to get out of your comfort zone and try new things.

Which can be quite painful most times then not but that´s the reason I started the BIG CHRISTMAS CONTEST, to get rid of the issues I don´t want to keep in my collection and which I only got to see if a certain series was any good. While at the same time spreading some more Christmas cheer and hopefully get them into the hands of people who enjoy them more. Only because I don´t like a comic doesn´t mean that others won´t like it. Okay, I haven´t done the BIG CHRISTMAS CONTEST last year but that was just bad timing. Right now I have a lot of free comics to give away and because of the course I am doing I don´t have the time to think about what I should do with them, if I should do another contest in summer etc.

The way things are going this will probably sort itself out because when I have time to think about that Christmas will not be that far away. Coming back to Joe Benitez, so far I like everything I have seen of his new series and there will definitely be some Benitez trades in my next comic order.

I didn´t expect to find a video with him about his new series on YouTube but longtime reader might guess why I had to pick the one in french.

Speaking of chestful women raven haired MILF Lisa Edelstein celebrated her 51st birthday who is best known for playing Dr. Gregory House´s foil and main sexual obsession Dr. Lisa Cuddy on the medical show House.

I used to watch the series with my Mom but after a while she lost interest and stopped following it so I´m not up to date. Maybe when I have watched all the series I have currently in my to watch pile I can get the series on DVD but if I do I will probably start with season 4 in which Lisa has her ultra sexy pole dance that leaves very little to the imagination.

And we´re staying in the realm of cult tv series as Lawrence Tureaud better known as Mr T turned 65. Now ( pun intended ) most people know that there was a three issue A - Team series by Marvel in the 80s. But there also was a ten issue series called Mr. T and the T - Force from NOW Comics in the 90s which had among it´s high caliber creators writers like Chuck Dixon and Mike Baron and artists Neal Adams and Norm Breyfogle.

We are staying with the printed media as painter, cartoonist, illustrator and children´s books author Hans Traxler celebrated his 88th birthday. I´m not sure if the son of austrian parents who was born in Czechoslovacia is known outside of Germany where he co - founded the satirical magazine Titanic and provided cartoons for the cult satire magazine Pardon and a plethora of publications like Zeit - Magazin, Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung or the Süddeutsche Zeitung. He also wrote over thirty books.  

We return once more to cult tv series of the 80s : since I mentioned Mr. T and The A - Team, one of his fellow cast members was Dirk Benedict, who not only played Templeton " Face Man " Peck but also Lieutenant Starbuck in the original Battlestar Galactica. And as coincidences would have it his co - star Richard Hatch would have celebrated his 72nd birthday on the 21st of May if he hadn´t passed away on the 7th of February this year. He is of best known for playing Captain Apollo, the straight man to Starbuck´s swashbuckling adventurer on the original Battlestar Galactica and to tv viewers of Today´s generation as Tom Zarek in the new version. He also had a stint as Inspector Dan Robbins on The Streets of San Francisco.

We come to the celebrity birthdays of May, the 22nd with two blonde sexbombs starting with the german´s favorite Fräuleinwunder next door, the charismatic Linda Hesse who turned 30. She became quite successful in a short period of time thanks to her signature tight pants / t - shirt and suspenders look ( okay, and her banging physique ), her smile that can melt steel and her overall cheerful personality. She has stayed a down to earth which you can´t say about most people who made it in Germany.

 Usually I´m not a big Schlager fan but I´m making an exception for Linda.

Our second blonde sexbomb is page 3 legend and nude glamour model Katie Price a.k.a. Jordan who celebrated her 39th birthday although she has had phases where she was a brunette. She had also enhanced her breasts to a whopping 32FF but she later reduced them to a 32D size.

Like Janet Jackson she felt insecure about her body which was the reason why she did it. Katie started her career as a model at the young age of 13 for a clothing line and unbeknownst to her the project´s photographer was a convicted paedophile who insisted to shoot her in underwear.

Aside from being inside and on the covers of countless men´s magazines like FHM, Maxim, Nuts, Front, Zoo Weekly, Sky, Esquire, Loaded, Ice, Elle and Vogue she appeared in six volumes of Playboy's Book of Lingerie from 1997 to 1999 and in 2002 she was shooting a cover to run in PLAYBOY when Hugh Hefner invited her to spend three weeks at the Playboy mansion.

Her competing for the right to represent the UK at the Eurovision Song Contest 2004 was not as successful as her autobiography, Being Jordan, which got surprisingly positive reviews and became a massive bestseller and the 4th bestselling autobiography of all time in the UK. Jordan : A Whole New World, her second autobiography, was released January 2006 and has so far sold nearly 400,000 copies. Her first autobiography has sold 500,000 copies so far, while the second sold 300,000 within just the first 6 weeks of its release. In Summer 2006 the novel Angel, a work of fiction, by Katie Price was published and hit the bestselling lists across the country.

We are staying with megabusty bombshells as Tracy Brookshaw a.k.a. Traci Brooks, the real t and a of TnA ( we´re talking 40DDs here ! ) turned 42.

Since it has been a long time since I watched wrestling I don´t know if " the private secretary I always wished I had " is still active - or if there still IS a TnA wrestling federation for that matter. The last thing I heard was that Traci was used and abused by Eric Bischoff ( how I envy that lucky S.O.B. ! ) and not only figuratively speaking. Apparently she paid him " sexual favors " on three occasions in the hopes to get promoted to boss of the knockout division but after he used her as his personal blow up sex doll in every imaginable position ( and boy did he ever ! ) he gave the position to Karen Jarrett. Since Traci always used her pornstar body to get what she wants I couldn´t really feel sorry for her but I always enjoyed seeing her in the ring and she even got naked for PLAYBOY magazine.

Apropos appearing nude in PLAYBOY, celebrating her 47th anniversary was supermodel Naomi Campbell ( does she own a cape, by the way ? ).

Naomi also was in a few music videos during the 80s and 90s like George Michael´s Freedom that also featured Linda Evangelista, Tatjana Patitz, Christy Thurlington and Cindy Crawford. As usual Mtv only showed the full video after midnight and even though I have seen it a hundred times I´m not sure if you can see nipple in the parts with Naomi Campbell or not.

We also have to thank Michael Jackson for letting Naomi strut her stuff In The Closet. Yes, besides being a music icon and making the best music videos ever he brought the hottest sexbombs into out homes like Ola Ray, Lisa Dean, Tatiana Thumbtzen, Lisa Mary Presley, Iman not to forget his sisters LaToya and Janet. When the video was shot there was a lot of speculation about if there really was something going on between Naomi and Michael ( you can read some of it in this post ) but as always when a music video treads the line between softcore and porno and has such sex goddesses in it only the involved persons know what really went down.

Speaking of softcore, Fiona Gélin turned 55 who made quite a few erotic movies in the 80s and 90s but most important Scirocco a.k.a. Sahara Heat.

Who sadly never did softcore movies - although she certainly had the right measurements for it - is spanish singer Monica Naranjo, our first birthday for May the 23rd on which she celebrated her 43rd anniversary. So far I have only posted one video of Monica Naranjo because I am still hoping against hope I can find her live performance of Desatame from the gala show A Galicia Gente Va where she pushed her breasts all the way up to her chin and they almost spilled out of a tight red wonderbra. I have it on some of my old videocassettes but so far I could not find it on YouTube.

So instead I´m posting this video which is the same song but not the same outfit, nor does she wear the same wonderbra, nor is her bra as tight and her boobs are also not jumping up and down all over the place and in danger of spilling out of her top every second. On top of all that the picture quality is not too good but sadly this is as good as it gets.

The last two birthdays from that day are comic related ( some of my readers are probably going " YES ! Comics ! Finally ! " right now ) starting with Mike Deodato who turned 54. He has worked on a plethora of titles over the years and if his art wasn´t all over my laptop I would have done a proper post on him. As it is I´m leaving you with his rendition of T´Challa and Ororo, one of the roles I had always envisioned for Ms. Janet Jackson.

Although I can live with the fact that she never played Storm in any of the X - Men movies since they never used her good costumes from the comics.

Speaking of X - Men comics, the last birthday I want to mention is the 66th anniversary of John Bolton whose work most of Today´s comic readers probably only know from the back up stories he did for Classic X - Men ( if at all ) that are sometimes used to fill a trade collection. But his best work was with Chris Claremont on the Marada, The She - Wolf series that was first published in Epic Illustrated. The genesis of the series was a Red Sonja story that was repurposed due to licensing concerns and they managed to make it a creator owned work. If you have never heard of this seminal comic work you should go to THE WARRIOR`S COMIC BOOK DEN where you can find the Marada chapters from Epic Illustrated 10 , 11 and 12 and be sure to also visit The Old Warrior´s new blog SAVAGE TALES which has the full color chapters from Epic Illustrated 22 and issue 23

While I decided not to re - post Sybil Danning´s cult siren entry from last year I still want to acknowledge her 65th birthday and what better way to do that than with another episode from The Fall Guy ? It´s a special treat for my german readers since the fourth season still is not out on DVD in Germany and while Sybil is in this one we don´t get any shower scenes with her or Jodi ( which are one of the staples of women behind bars ) and Markie Posts´s parts are very short and she does not wear a bikini.

What I´m writing here will not make a lot of sense since there is still the third part of this post with Yaya to finish where I will explain something according to the following live performance by Hyuna. The bit I will explain in that part is about one of Hyuna´s female dancers here who is very hot and who also appears in a video in said post. But I didn´t become aware of her in that video but rather in this one. To keep things simple and give you some hope of getting something out of this just keep an eye out for the dancer in the blue t - shirt on the far right side of the stage. I actually found two versions of this video and this one has english subtitles of the lyrics. I am going to post / am now posting / have already posted the other version in one of the following / preceeding posts - god, it´s so complicated when I write the posts out of order. I wonder how the Doctor keeps his head straight with all the wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.

Since one of Today´s topics has been the problems women have with their bodies I get to include one of these videos I bookmark because I find them of the utmost interest eve if I´m not sure if I can ever post them.

The big urban legend is that men impose certain expectations on the way how women should look but in reality it are the women themselves who set up these impossible standards. If you have followed this blog for a longer period of time you know that I may say that I am attracted to certain women more than others. But also that those women don´t all fall into the same category of body type and that I never said that all women should look like that. I mean there are so many different women who all are beautiful the way they are and I could never decide on one way that all women should look like because no matter which one you chose there would always be someone who doesn´t fall into that category and who could live without Demi Moore, Erika Eleniak, Sabrina Salerno, Miko Lee, Elizabeth Berkley, Leslie Easterbrook, Akira Lane, JaMILF Lee Curtis ?

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

I wanna SEXplore you, put my hands up on you. I wanna feel your SEXplosion and I'm gonna take you on a SEXcapade, it's so sensual, incredible, just let Damita Jo, oh ! What you wishin'; SEXhibition !
If you listen, we'll be drippin'. I'll drive that ASS, feel the SEXsation,
feel the pulse and vibration, babe, no need for a SEXplanation. Give
it to you : SEXhibition ! I'll drive that ASS crazy, relax, it's just SEX !

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