Since I did write / am writing this in advance this post ( and the first part ) will go back to the draft folder as soon as they are finished but do not fear - they will be on the blog at the time of Halle Berry´s actual birthday.
Halle Berry as Green Lantern ( Soranik Natu )
I haven´t been the first one to cast Helle Berry as the exotic Lantern who has artists draw her cleavage ( and her supple breasts ) bigger and bigger.
As one of the newer Green Lanterns, she polarized readers. There were those who feared that she got the " Power Girl treatment ", meaning that Soranik steadily " busted out " more and more. She seemed to get larger in the " chesticle region " with every new issue - and the very open - front uniform she wears was filling up rather fast. On top of that the opening was getting larger and larger and dropping way below her navel. She's beautiful, sure, but she's also smart enough not to be flying around in something that might make her oversized boobs pop out at any second.
And then there were those readers who would like nothing better than to see her strut her stuff and let her boobies bounce up and down. Now that never happened in an actual comic book but I have to say Soranik Natu´s torpedoes brought me back to the Green Lantern Corps. I hadn´t planned on reading the series but when I saw this cover I was back in the fold :
Soranik quickly became a fan favorite for being a strong, independent female.....and of course her cleavage. But the artist of the next picture was really enthusiastic about her chest and it seems she is wearing - or better : falling out of - Guy Gardner´s uniform. She does look a bit like Salma Hayek which would account for the huge rack he put on Soranik.
One thing I wanted to mention is that the idea to make her a doctor in her civilian identity only sexed her up even more. Since unknown times doctors and nurses have always been in the top three for sexual fantasies together with stewardesses and cheerleaders because they have special knowledge about the best ways to make a guy squirt until he is drained.
I casted Beyonce as Vixen which went against the new JLA comic from that time since Ed Benes obviously based her appearance on Halle Berry.
And knowing what a big fan I am of Halle Berry you might think it obvious that I would do the same. But they do that with a lot of female black characters in comics and I don´t want to cast Halle in five different roles.
Voted the sexiest woman on the planet I just had to add Halle and since there just has to be a Green Lantern on the team I´m killing two breasts with one stone. Although I have to put in her contract that the cleavage has to be - at the very least - open to 2 inches below her belly button.
Or since Hollywood always tweaks the costumes because they think they know better than the artists that originally created the characters we could have this finally working for us and put Halle Berry in a slightly skimpier Green Lantern uniform that lets her show off her breast assets.
That way we could finally forget the CATWOMAN fiasko. Who would have thought that a movie with Halle in such a nympho sex outfit could tank ?
I mean the movie was waaay too tame for Catwoman. The stripper outfit sure helped a bit - less clothing on Halle Berry is always a good thing.
But without any doubt the whole tone was wrong. Even the animated version of Catwoman is more of a horny slut than Halle Berry was.
Halle Berry has one of the best butts in Hollywood without any doubt.
But the producers of the CATWOMAN movie fumbled the ball on this one.
There was a news report - that I consider a fake - that on the set Halle Berry´s Catwoman costume ripped various times due to the physicality of her role, doing backflips and whatnot and her boobs popped out one time.
Now why wasn´t this in the DVD extras ? I´m always highly suspicious if something like this is in the news but there is no boob footage. Because they sure as heck have footage of all the things nobody wants to see.
I think what CATWOMAN needed was more nude Halle, not necessarily to the extent of MONSTER´S BALL but at least as much as in SWORDFISH .
Going topless didn´t ruin her career even if it wasn´t her best movie.
Man, too bad this was before the NEW 52 because there they turned Catwoman into a horny slut who had sex with Batman. Not that they didn´t have sex before - that was the whole thing why Batman always gave Selina Kyle a pass. You know he was giving her the Batpole. But you didn´t see it. Anyway, this would have been one of the few instances where something good came out of the NEW 52 and there clearly were plans to get more sexual with Catwoman which were for some reason nipped in the butt as these unused pages from CATWOMAN show.
There is also another comic adaption for which Halle would be perfect but since that part is rather long I have decided to do a spin - off post for my casting of Kevin J. Taylor´s The Girl so I can include more about Yaya Han.
Coming back to my JLA movie Halle Berry definitely would have to take it all off, plus a hot nude scene with Guy Gardner or another Green Lantern Corps member ( no pun intended ) or at least a shower scene with Arisia.
Naturally as a director who takes his job seriously I insist on rehearsing all explicit scenes with Halle Berry just to assure the integrity of the movie.
Ah, the sacrifices we make for art. It´s hardcore . . . I mean a hard job.
Or there might be a special interrogation scene involving the Yellow Lanterns from the Sinestro Corps who do a full cavity search on Soranik. Which they already hinted at in the SINIESTRO comic with this nice scene.
Although I have to admit that I am not up to date with things in the Green Lantern corner of the DC universe since Geoff Johns went totally off the rails and the whole NEW 52 and REBIRTH didn´t help either. So I am not quite sure where Soranik Natu stands now and who is giving who a full cavity search. Not that it wouldn´t work if Soranik made two giant, extra long yellow double dildos to tame Arisia or she could use her superior oral skills ( women from Korugar have ten times longer tongues than earth women ) to subdue Guy Gardner with a seven day deepthroat marathon.
What I somehow always brainfart on is that officer Alex Wilde, one of the major sexbombs from one of my favorite comic book series ever Erik Larsen´s SAVAGE DRAGON was clearly modeled after Halle Berry.
I know, she looks rather white on the picture above but she´s of hispanic heritage and supposed to be colored with a much darker skin tone here.
Since the first issue Alex was the one I hoped Dragon would end up with but something always came between them getting together. And when I say " something " I mean of course writer Erik Larsen. First it was that they were both working together, than Dragon was together with the superheroine Rapture, than Alex was with the superhero Dart and they only ended up together when Savage Dragon returned to Chicago from a long absence. He was working with the S.O.S. and Alex was still on the police force so they were not co workers and could finally get down to it.
Anyway, Alex and Savage Dragon were just trying to get over their past relationships ( by having lots of conscientious sex ) so that didn´t last long. Later on it seemed as if Alex and Dragon were finally together.
But as always things were more complicated : the Dragon that was using Alex like his blow up sex doll was an impostor from a parallel universe.
( click here for the full six pages of this back up story from issue 132 )
Now I wouldn´t mind using Halle Berry as my personal blow up sex doll - even if she was just an impostor from a parallel universe - but this is all for this part. So for more Halle Berry content use the link in the text above.
We are starting the video section ( since we don´t have any links and not much text I can´t call it the entertainment section ) with another great video. This is one of her best but sadly shortest performances which is probably the reason why the creator of this clip felt the need to mix it up.
With these kind of posts it is difficult to find an appropriate cartoon video but you can watch this one and pretend it´s Halle Berry working that pole.
Now since I mentioned Catwoman in this post I wanted to include this video of cosplayer Ani Mia to show that Halle Berry´s costume in that movie was not the skimpiest Catwoman costume that was ever made.
Coming back to the subject of pole dancing, this is a song that would work exceptionally well with Halle Berry girating her porn star body. I chose the censored version because while the part with the bikini babes at the pool is much shorter there is more of the hot babes dancing on stage - which is the part I like best. I can just imagine Halle Berry dancing in that outfit while her twin torpedoes are stretching out her tight yellow shirt next to Janet Jackson , Yaya Han , Salma Hayek , Demi Moore , JaMILF Lee Curtis , Samantha Fox , Tylene Buck , Elizabeth Berkley , Tiffany Amber Thiessen , Erika Eleniak , Leslie Easterbrook , Sabrina Salerno , Jolene Blalock , Jeri Ryan , Kiana Tom , Ava Cadell , Akira Lane , Miko Lee , Gail Kim or Minka .
Normally I include some of the riskier movies in these posts but it seems I already posted all the good ones or they are reserved for other posts. I didn´t want to close with a video from a bikini contest since I have put many of those in the regular posts so here is The Bikini Carwash Company.
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