Sunday, April 10, 2016

My once again failed big Yaya Han post

Today cosplay queen Yaya Han celebrates her 34th birthday so I thought it´s time to write another post about the living blow up sex doll who is not only my personal number two sexual fantasy of all time but the wet sex dream of the entire geekdom with the power of her asian persuasion.

My number one on that list is of course the best body in showbiz, Janet " All Night - Don´t Stop " Action Jackson, because how can you beat this ?

So Janet does have a solo post besides three entries in my JLA cast .


Now the reason why Yaya Han has slowly but steadily made her way to the number two position on that wish list ( there are a few other much more explicit positions I would love to see Yaya Han assume and now that she has done an interview with PLAYBOY I hope we get to see her spreading her sexy legs in a nude pictorial ) is not only based on the fact that my chances of bumping into her at a comic convention in Germany are higher than of actually meeting any of the other sexbombs on my dream date list but also because she combines four of my favorite things in her. Asian sexbombs, women with big boobs, video games and comics. I mean, how many chicks do you know who bring their own Power Girl / Chun Li outfit ?

Plus, we know from her photoshoots as Chun Li that she´s a real professional when it comes to spreading them legs wide open.

Speaking about Yaya Han as Chun Li, I haven´t gotten around to start my series on comic covers I´d like Yaya to re - enact ( which is probably for the best since these post would most definitely be NSFW and go into the pervy creep / full blown porn addict direction - not unlike most of the times I mention hasian Yaya Han ) but I dream of her one day doing the bonerinducing shower scene from the animated STREET FIGHTER movie.

I know it will probably never happen especially since Yaya would object to such an explicit scene and it is nearly impossible to find a body double for a small hasian with such big hooters. Her outstanding omnipresent openly oversized operated olympic oral orgasm guaranteeing opai are unreal. I bet her boytoy is the luckiest guy on the planet since he is the only one who gets to experience the mega busty living blow up sex doll Yaya going full frontal on his mega rod with her giant 40D double airbags all soaped up.

Some readers may remember that I explained the three criteria for my selection of covers in this post and the cover below is in the top five because it meets all three : while it is kind of basic from a costume making viewpoint you could add something more to it, it is one of my favorite U - COMIX covers of all time and if done right it gives Yaya ample opportunity to show skin. If she wants to do it justice not only her sexy legs and some serious butt cleavage ( which Yaya Han hasn´t done so far ) are demanded she also has to squeeze her 40D gazongas into the mother of all cleavages with her nipples showing - another first for Yaya. Now no matter if Yaya does or does not decide to do that we know from her Power Girl cosplay that she´s an expert at filling out magical boob windows and cleavages.

And she already did a sexy doctor / nurse cosplay with her Super Sonico costume. Daim, that girl knows how to fill a uniform and I bet her fiancee was only too eager to play Doctor as the patient who suffers from a severe case of hyperspermia and nymphomanic night nurse Suckura Deepthroat has to pump out the excess semen. Hashtag " luckiestguyontheplanet ".

Man, every time I think I am ready to treat the subject of cosplaying professionally and objective Yaya goes and wears something like these outfits and turns me back into a drooling, uncontrollably horny idiot.

Boy, if Yaya Han´s body was not made for porn movies ( and with " made " I mean that Yaya herself got some breast enhancements ) I don´t know.

Ahh, when I just think about all of the things I would love to do to her.

So far I have only made two solo posts on her although I keep mentioning her on various JLA casting posts and any other involving asian sexbombs like Ava Cadell, Kiana Tom, Akira Lane, Miko Lee, Gail Kim or Minka and I swear the completely SFW BIG YAYA HAN POST is still in the pipeline. 

I don´t know what it is but hasians are my kryptonite. Now I don´t want to resort to sexual stereotypes about asian girls being natural prostitutes through decades of being used as sex toys by the male populace of the world but they just have the extra oomph that works better than viagra and makes you hear " Me so horny me love you long time ! " in your head.

It may be the genes or just magic but like the song says - her butt makes me so horny. Man, those asian butts are just too hot to resist. I am not an authority regarding if they have the best butts in the world but just the thought of some g - string clad asian sexbomb makes you hard as a rock.

Man, speaking about megahot sexbombs with the ultimate pornstar body there´s just gotta be a way how I can include megahorny cosplay goddess Yaya Han in the cast of my JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA fantasy movie.

I´d even bend the rules a bit and have her as the Outsiders´ Katana. She was a great character and they even brought her back in the ARROW tv series even if they gave her a different costume. I don´t know much about the NEW 52 version but she looks like a cheap Kabuki clone ( and shame on you if you don´t know to which comic I´m referring here ).

BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS has always been a personal favorite of mine - not in the least because of Jim Aparo´s great art on the book - and now that the first twelve issues are going to be reprinted in hardcover at the end of February 2017 I should do another post about them. So far I have written a general overview of the series and done posts about the first issue and their Christmas issues but I still have material for more posts.

Since I already casted asian pornstar Miko Lee (  a.k.a. the human dick suction pump ) as the Cassandra Cain Batgirl Yaya could give her some combat training during which they would get their skintight clothes all wet and transparent before ripping it to shreds. Naturally the two naked asian beauties would end up in an imprompto " duel of the double dildos - last nympho cums screaming " marathon sex session impaling each other´s sweat soaked tireless bodies again and again and again without mercy.

Speaking about exotic sexbombs, since Kiana Tom is also in the movie as the female post CRISIS Dr. Light I should try to include her in the scene.

I´m not sure if Kiana would do too explicit sex scenes but she probably would not have a problem getting naked for the camera as she not only posed nude for the PLAYBOY but did it when her body was at it´s prime.

She only got to show her boobs - and not even her naked boobs - in Universal Soldier 2 and I bet she has the stuff to go the full monty.

Now I have an idea that would work and include the hot Akira Lane : she could be Judomaster - the new female version from Geoff Johns´ LSA run back when he wrote great stories - and spar with sex Batgirl Miko Lee.

Because of her superior oral skills she was a trainer for fluffers - women whose job it is to get male porn actors ready to perform when they can´t get it up anymore - and even handled a few emergency cases. There is no male who can resist Miko´s asian charms which has led to a few problems because most of her on screen partners can´t stop performing. And there have been many times where the frustrated director and crew have gone for a three hour lunch break while leaving the camera rolling so they could get everything on tape while Miko was engaged by up to four porn actors.

And while she is often booked with gay actors - porn productions often use them in regular movies because they can last longer as they normally don´t get aroused by sexual intercourse with women - there are a few who refuse to work with her after she turned a few gay actors straight. 

Coming back to planning this lesbian fourway asian all star sex marathon while they have their double dildo climax battle Katana ( Yaya Han ) and Dr. Light ( Kiana Tom ) would do the same and the respective winners - and losers - would take on each other in another bout. So in any case you have four asian sex queens furiously going at it twice and the viewer would win in the end, no matter how the individual battles turn out.

And there just has to be a way how we can get Yaya Han to wear the same outfit as Akira Lane below. Can you imagine Yaya Han´s king sized XXL breasts with the areolas of the nipples being totally visible in that mesh shirt and her naked butt only covered by a tiny string of dental floss ?

I bet sexbomb Yaya Han really knows how to work it - or twerk it !

Holy twin torpedoes, Yaya Han is one of the celebrities where looking for fake nude pictures on the internet is just an enormous waste of time since whatever you may find can never be as good as the real thing.

People always say I exaggerate with Yaya Han´s breastsize but according to internet sources she´s a 40D - which to tell the truth does not tell me that much. So she is a 40D but then her cupsize is 36D ? How does this work ? I know that women wear shoes two sizes too small but I would think with breast you would pick a bra that fits, right ? That´s confusing.

Anyway, the consensus seems to be 40D with Yaya Han on most internet pages. Now in centimeters that is 102 which means that keeping in mind she´s only 5 foot 1 ( 155 centimeters, about my height ) most porn stars don´t measure up. I remember there was a girl in PLAYBOY when I was in school who was the same height as Yaya Han and she only had a 95 centimeter bust but because of her height she looked like she could easily star in a Russ Meyer movie. And Yaya got 7 centimeters more of boobs !

Speaking about nude pictures of Yaya Han there are some pictures of banker / model Li Ling Ling from Singapore a.k.a. Busty Singaporean ( 38DD - 25 - 34 ) on the internet which were supposedly " leaked " by an IT person who was repairing her laptop. For some reason these pictures are on various adult websites under the title of " nude pictures of Yaya Han "

Now as you can see above this woman has an impressive chest but it´s only 38DD. Yaya is two sizes bigger ! Then I thought about asian porn star Hitomi Tanaka as Yaya´s boob double but I guess that´s taking it too far.

Although I definitely would try to find some way to put her in my Justice League Of America film maybe as Cheshire, Lady Shiva or sorceress Circe.

Mega endowed Hitomi certainly has the ability to turn all men into horny, drooling pigs even without any magic tricks - well, besides boob magic.

Still I´m not giving up hope as there has to be someone out there who is in Yaya Han´s league and can double for her. I would really like to meet someone like that for a special weekend session on the casting couch.

Coming back from the faked Yaya Han to the real deal I´m not sure what my strategy for this post should be but now that I have put all the rated x comments in this one I hope I can finish my regular SFW Yaya Han post.

These are videos I definitely posted before but they are my two favorite videos with Yaya Han in her Chun Li costume. They are both high quality so you can watch them in full screen mode which I recommend since you may risk missing the best parts - Yaya Han´s " twitching " - otherwise.

Since this post is more a Best Of and seeing as there are no videos of Yaya as War Goddess Enyo I wanted to include her best Power Girl interviews.

Since I also wanted to include a video I haven´t posted yet here is Yaya Han as the evil queen from Snow White which she designed herself.

Speaking of hot asian sexbombs, Jamie Chung celebrates her 33rd birthday and although I didn´t know she and Yaya Han shared a birthday I had both of them in one post when I cast Jamie Chung as the Cassandra Cain Batgirl in one of my rare Casting the Justice League of America movie solo posts.

We are staying with hot screen sexbombs as Steven Seagal turns 64 and it´s probably no big surprise that my favorite Steven Seagal movie is Under Siege. Which by the way is called ALARMSTUFE ROT ( Condition Red ) in Germany. That´s what you get when you use german words for a movie title that make no sense in german - then they have to come up with a different name. And that was one of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to find stuff about the movie until I figured out the original title.

Under Siege is one of the better Steven Seagal movies which means that his acting is not as bad as in other movies and it also has big stars like Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey and Nick Mancuso. The plot is simple but even though he only beats up smaller guys ( Did you notice that in most movies Steven Seagal only fights people who are smaller than him ? It makes it hard to take him serious. ) it´s a pretty decent action movie.

But the reason why I really like the film is of course Erika Eleniak and her sexy striptease after she comes out of a cake. She really shows some talent there which makes the fact that she never continued in that direction just more tragic. Ahh, the career she could have had stripping.

You can say what you want about Steven Seagal but he sure does have an eye for talent because it has been said that he included Erika Eleniak.

And if that rumor is true he has earned my eternal gratitude for giving the entire world one of the best film striptease ever. And her manager who persuaded to take this part and use her stripper skills to the benefit of mankind. I bet he got something out of the deal as well. I know that if it had been me there would have been a few private sessions of rehearsing.

Since I don´t have a Steven Seagal clip at the moment ( and you can´t find any of Erika Eleniak´s good scenes on YouTube anyway ) and Erika appears in the Tales From The Crypt : Bordello Of Blood movie - she regrettably leaves her clothes on for the whole movies even though she could easily play the joint´s most popular prostitute with her booming porn star body - here´s a Behind The Scenes documentary about the cult horror tv series.

Max von Sydow celebrates his 87th birthday and he has been everything on the big screen from the father of Anne Frank to the father of Robin Hood, Siegmund Freud, David, Jesus, an exorcist, Emperor Ming, a king who hires Conan to find his daughter, another king who hires Christopher Columbus to find America ( although that happened more by accident ) and Judge Fargo. It´s too bad that he hasn´t been in the good Dredd movie, you know, the one with Olivia Thirlby as Psi Judge Anderson.

The only negative thing I can say about the movie is that Olivia´s nude sex scene was way too short and filmed too much out of focus. Also I don´t think we got to see what the perverted perp really wanted to do with her.

Of course Psi Judge Anderson and Judge Dredd first appeared in the legendary british comic series 2000 AD and that´s a gap in my comic collection I still have to close. So far I have only read the Judge Dredd comic that DC put out and what was in the Free Comic Book Day issues.

The last birthday shoutout goes to the late Omar Sharif who appeared in the epic movie dramas of my youth like Lawrence Of Arabia or Doctor Zhivago, which is where I got all my knowledge about russian culture from.

Since we haven´t had a cartoon video yet and Yaya is into anime here is the second episode of Samurai Champloo. By the way, since I decided to alternate between both series the next anime video would be episode three of Samurai Jack but the way these videos are disappearing I´m not sure if I should continue since I have no desire to constantly re - up them.

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To head - butt a cop is the dream of every Frenchman.

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