Tuesday, February 05, 2019

Baywatch sexbombs and bikini hardbodies

As the title says this spin - off post from this year´s birthday tribute to Ron Frenz - which is all about his run on AMAZING SPIDER - MAN ( and the blatant underusage of platinium blonde Power Girl Silver Sable ) features wall to wall boobs and incredible bikini beach bodies and it all started with Gabrielle Anwar who celebrated her 49th birthday on February the 4th.


I thought I had first seen her in Acapulco H.E.A.T. but it really wasn´t before Burn Notice that I saw her on a regular basis. Now I know that a lot of people say that they don´t understand what that show is all about but since I already explained everything there is to know about Burn Notice at length in this post let´s get to the real reason why I mentioned Gabrielle.

Cult tv bikini sexbomb Charisma Carpenter is best known as Cordelia Chase on Buffy and the spin off Angel although Today´s kids may better know her from her recurring role on Veronica Mars which means they missed a lot of scorching bikini scenes with Charisma´s huge 34D beach balls.


One of these days I´ll have to get the first season of Veronica Mars to find out how it all started since I came in at the tailend of that season - as usual. Besides Veronica Mars Charisma Carpenter was also in episode 11 of season 5 of Burn Notice where she showed that she still has the goods.


Charisma´s huge funbags alone are worth the price of admission . Daimn !

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We stay with tv sexbombs who know how to fill out a bikini with buxom Brandy Ledford who turned 50. TV audiences now may know her from Modern Family while my generation might remember her on Married With Children, High Tide, Walker Texas Ranger, Outer Limits, Viper or her recurring roles on Fast Track, Invisible Man, Whistler or Andromeda.

Like I said, people from my generation MIGHT remember Brandy Ledford from any of these shows but what we really instantly recall is that she went under the name Jisel for a time and was the Penthouse Pet of The Year 1992. Because she was not only in a plethora of nude pictorials she also provided the best parts of various PENTHOUSE videos like Penthouse Pet Of The Year Play - Off 1991, Penthouse : Dream Girls, Penthouse Pets 30 : 60 but most importantly Penthouse : Fast Cars, Fantasy Women. I remember back then it was a big deal when PENTHOUSE started releasing videos and they were always quickly grabbed at the video rental store.   


Now one reason why I wanted to pay homage to one of the biggest sex symbols from my teenage years is that I always brainfart that she also was on BAYWATCH HAWAII . Probably because Krista Allen always distracts me.

 
The bodacious Krista Allen played Clark Kent´s hot new teacher on SMALLVILLE, Jim Carey´s new neighbor with the big boobs in LIAR LIAR and the sexy oracle on CHARMED ( she was also in a series called Black Widow which had nothing to do with the Marvel character ) but she is probably best known for her role of Jenna Avid on BAYWATCH HAWAII.


Now my readers outside of Germany probably don´t know what BAYWATCH HAWAII is and for the longest time I thought it was a BAYWATCH spin off.


Like BAYWATCH NIGHTS. So I was very surprised when I went looking on amazon for that and couldn´t find it. That´s because in Germany they titled seasons 10 and 11 of the regular show BAYWATCH HAWAII which exists nowhere else. Only in Germany there is a BAYWATCH HAWAII. I do not know if they felt the need to give it an extra push because they exchanged the whole cast and relocated to Hawaii or they thought the german viewers would be too confused. In any case it was a weird thing.


One reason why I so often forget that Brandy Ledford was on the show is that they had like an all star cast of sex babes on BAYWATCH HAWAII. They really went for diversity and representation but not like the SJWs. They did it in a good way and besides various hunks and the aforementioned Brandy Ledford and Krista Allen they also featured another blonde, Brande Roderick, hawaiian born Stacey Kamano and redhead Simone McKinnon.


BAYWATCH was really big in the 90s and it is like THE ultimate babe tv show. No kidding. No other show had more actresses who were featured in Playboy or playmates. If there was a hot babe during the time the show was produced you can bet that she´s in - at least - one of the episodes.


David Hasselhoff is my hero for putting hot babes like nubian sex goddess Traci Banghim on prime time television even though he never took them up on various casting couch sex offers ( at least that´s what he says ).


Well, if that´s true he was probably the only one who didn´t get any as buxom blonde Pamela Anderson paints a different picture of the set of Baywatch in an article from 2003 . Pam admitted having steamy sex liaisons with all of her hunky lifeguard co - stars and often enjoyed some sextra - curricular activities with her cast mates in their trailers." I dicktamed all male cast members at least once. Heck, with the ultimate porn star body I had back then I could have any man I wanted and I used my fellow co - star David Chokachi like a breeding stallion. I vented all my nymphomanic deepthroat urges on him and literally turned him into a sex freak. Just ask Carmen Elektra, whom he used as his personal blow up sex doll during her short tenure on BAYWATCH. But everybody was having sex behind the trailers, in the trailers, around the trailers. " Colleague Geena Lee Nolin adds the cast's motto was " If the trailer's rocking, don't come knocking. "


Now I don´t know if this was still going on when BAYWATCH HAWAII was on but surely none of the female cast members would play second fiddle on this sex orgy merry go round. Kama Sutra instructor in spe Krista Allen for example played Emanuelle in eight made for tv movies . Because she did it when her incredible porn star body was in prime condition she was able to believable portray the french sex machine with the high moan factor who merciless milks men dry until they can´t remember on which side the doorknob is. The show had some strange 3D effects - because that was the new thing at that time - and the stories were not that great but it was all worth it to see Miss Allen get her freak on. Whoa, did she ever.


As for Brandy Ledford, she appeares on a few top ten lists in regards to gratuitous scenes in movies since she started her career with the only nude scene in Demolition Man ( the scene is a bit weird and looks like it was only thrown in as an afterthought ) and besides her bonerinducing outings as a PENTHOUSE PET OF THE YEAR she also appears in Killing for Love where she delivers one of the best sex scenes in movie history .


That scene is what I always pictured happening behind closed doors between Dinah Lance a.k.a. Black Canary and Oliver Queen a.k.a. Green Arrow. Even though in the comics Dinah Lance´s natural hair color is black and the blonde hair is only a wig. Which is one of the reasons why she brushes off everybody who hits on her with blonde pick up lines. Anyway, I still imagine Brandy Ledford as the one who polishes Oliver´s long shaft.  


Speaking of baywatchable ultimate sexbombs, the most prominent on this blog is without any doubt natural born stripper starlet Erika " Double E " Eleniak who boobed out extremely after she left BAYWATCH much to the chagrin of the show´s producers. Erika is of course most famous for her incredibly steamy striptease in UNDER SIEGE so it´s no surprise that I re - posted her original cult siren entry in 2015 , in 2016 and also in 2018 .


Erika started on BAYWATCH where in one of the first episodes she got into trouble because of some raunchy pictures of her that were published.


Which at that time didn´t make much sense because her breasts were rather average and only grew to the enormous size she has been known for ever since in later episodes of one of the most successful series on the planet. I bet producer David Hasselhoff wished he had known this before.


So Erika Eleniak became the " queen of the mountain " on BAYWATCH with the biggest boobs around ...... until Pamela Anderson came around.

The most famous of a veritable plethora of incredibly hot women that went through the revolving casting doors of BAYWATCH is without any doubt Pamela Anderson and it is beyond belief that so far I have only mentioned her in the first ever Casting the Justice League of America movie post where I naturally cast her as Power Girl ( a role she was born to play ). Because Pam An was not only the very first candidate in my hugely popular SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL series over at my old boob - centric blog.


No, she also is on my TOP TEN MOVIE STRIPTEASE list thanks to her boner inducing wet & wild opening scene from the movie adaption of Dark Horse Comics BARB WIRE. Most of this was cut off in the german version which is one of the reason why the movie flopped so much in movie theaters while the video cassette of the original US version became such a huge success.


Anyway, I still intend to do posts for all of the striptease babes on my list but every year I have to postpone Pamela Anderson´s cult siren entry.


Like Pamela Erika appeared in PLAYBOY as the Playmate Of The Month of July 1989 although I´m not sure if the pictures where she wore part of a uniform much like the one she wears in her famous striptease got her the role on UNDER SIEGE. Anyway, Erika Eleniak was only the first of a decades spanning tradition of Baywatch babes who got photographed by Playboy like Vanessa Angel, Krista Allen, playmate / Penthouse pet / pornstar Teri Weigel, Jenny Mc Carthy, Yasmine Bleeth, Donna D´Errico, Kelly Monaco, Brande Roderick, Nicole Eggert , Mitzi Capture and Gina Lee Nolin among others. Most of them have been in Playboy and other men´s magazines.


Back to Erika Eleniak, she appeared in a few movies like BEVERLY HILL BILLIES, CHASERS ( where she had some pretty hot scenes ) , THE OPPONENT , STRIKE FORCE a.k.a. THE LIBRARIANS and BORDELLO OF BLOOD ( which got censored beyond recognition in Germany ) but she never achieved the level of success Pamela Anderson did. Not even Traci Bingham achieved that and she´s build like a porn star for crying out loud.


People always wondered if there was a rivalry between Erika Eleniak and Pamela Anderson and if that was the reason Erika Eleniak left the show.

There are two different versions of the story but I think this article from Jake Davis on FETCH SPORT - which also takes an in depth look at Erika Eleniak´s life and career - comes closest to the truth. According to Pamela Anderson when she auditioned for the role of Jordan Tate in UNDER SIEGE Steven Segal wanted to put her body to the test on the casting couch.

" When he saw me rehearsing the part where Jordan comes out of the cake he insisted on me giving him a personal strip show. He changed my costume to two strings of fabric thinner than shoe laces and after he got a huge erection in his pants he made me strip naked and wanted to act out a sex scene with me that was not in the script. And when I didn´t want to do it he told me that the next girl would get the role instead. " 


" I refused but Steven Segal convinced Erika Eleniak to let him use her as his personal blow up sex doll durnig the entire shooting of the movie. He fucked her brains out six ways to Sunday, That´s how she got the role."

Erika Eleniak for her part denies these wild sex orgies ever happened.

" I learned a lot on that shoot watching Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey work. It was a hard shoot and I spent many long hours in Steven´s trailer. Yes, he was merciless drilling me but not during sweaty fuck marathons that lasted all night long where he relentlessly pounded every orifice of my body. We were just rehearsing scenes not sex scenes that were more explicit than porn movies. All these rumors that Steven tried to break me in with his giant member are just a product of Pamela Anderson´s sick fantasy. But it still was an incredible learning experience for me. "


Coming back to BAYWATCH, go go dancer Carmen Electra was one of my favorite sexbombs on that show. She is in the special Baywatch edition of Casting the Justice League of America movie where I cast her as original Batgirl Barbara Gordon and she had to share the post with Erika Eleniak.


Just last year I finally managed to get the DVD of Baywatch - Hawaiian Wedding - which I haven´t gotten around to rewatch yet - but Carmen hula dancing with a coconut bra alone is worth the price of admission.


Speaking of which, our next candidate is Lisa Eichhorn who turned 67. With her tight ringlets of blondness, soul - probing gaze, mouth quavering with passion set in a strong chiseled chin, uncompromising emotress Lisa Eichorn would seem to be a natural for small - screen stardom. Lisa has filled recurring roles on both All My Children and Feel the Heat, but for the most part her artistic expression plays on the stage rather than in front of TV or movie cameras. When Lisa has ventured into film, she's left her shirt behind in at least a quartet of pics, starting with Yanks ( 1979 ).

Eichorn's claim to boob fame though was in Opposing Force ( 1986 ), where she plays the busty air force lieutenant who undergoes a very special kind of training in a prisoner of war exercise. The sadistic commanding officer of the isolated island where this takes place gets off on breaking soldiers and since he never had a female prisoner before he brutally rapes Lisa.


When the other candidates in this exercise realize that the guy has gone completely off the rails things get real very quick but in the end they manage to bring this abuse of power to justice. The character played by Lisa though decides to leave the military life behind. Back when the movie came out it was criticized for being unrealistic but like with so many other things seen from Tdoday´s point of view it almost seems a prophetic film.

We are staying with gorgeous ladies on screen with Tom Tayback who celebrated his 68th birthday. Okay, he´s not a gorgeous lady and he only starred in four movies but the reason why I instantly recognized him is that one of them was Greg Hyppolite´s Undercover Heat with über bodacious Athena Massey as sex starved undercover cop Cindy Hannen.


Even if the story is nothing new - a female cop has to go undercover as a callgirl to find a serial killer - Undercover Heat is one of the best erotic movies I have seen because it has the perfect blend of crime, suspense, erotic and humor that few directors of this genre achieve. It also has a nice pacing of five minutes of story development followed by five minutes of erotic scenes and so on. But the biggest reason why this movie is so entertaining is the stunning Athena Massey and her spectacular body ( of which you can find more NSFW GIFs in my post about Elizabeth Berkley ).


The character Athena plays is a somewhat repressed woman who never had much time besides her police work to explore her sexuality but as she goes undercover she makes up for that in spades. The plan going in is that her superior will send her clients so she can keep her cover and give him regular status reports. But as they sometimes come too late - to their appointments that is not as in relayed ejaculation - the sex depraved bombshell is already busy sexperimenting with the other potent studs.


There is even a threesome with a client and his big breasted wife so this movie has it all. So this is my recommendation for the day and if you haven´t seen it yet you definitely have to check out Undercover Heat.


Since I got to mention Chuck Norris´ Walker Texas Ranger in the post I want to include a video I tried to put on the blog for quite some time.



Likewise the only comic book that got a shoutout in this post is Green Arrow which benefitted hugely from trying to stop being Batman with arrows. Since then it has always been a progressive comic and I can only urge all comic readers who read ( or didn´t ) Mike Grell´s groundbreaking Green Arrow : Longbow Hunter but skipped the ongoing series. Mike Grell only did the writing and covers but it´s still one of the best series of DC´s emerald archer and they finally started to reprint it in affordable trades.



Speaking about winning forms, we could not have a post with so much talk about bikinis without one of those popular 1990s bikini contest shows.



Which is my smooth segueway to David Hasselhoff and one of his many appearances on german tv as a big pop culture icon. Maybe this will help my readers in the states understand why he still is so popular over here.



Another thing that ties in nicely with popular things and all this 80s / 90s coolness is Thundercats one of the best cartoon shows ever made.



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best


I hate remakes of tv shows - I didn't like the new CHARLIE`S ANGELS at all - and I just don't see the point of going back and doing the same thing over again. BAYWATCH was fun and successful, probably because we didn't know what the heck we were doing.

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