Wednesday, September 26, 2018

A cult siren spin off : the Landers sisters !

Once again a part of the post has become longer and longer so I have decided to give these two Hollywood hotties their own little post.


It also is a chance for me to post the clips of Audrey and Judy Landers which I have included in previous posts in the form of links. Although it is more a chance for my readers since I am pretty sure most of them don´t bother checking out the links so these videos will be brand new for them.



One of the problems of writing for such a long time on these posts is that things can change while you are trying to finish them. Sometimes you can go back and fix them but sometimes you can´t so we have a little callback in this post. You may remember that in my last post I mentioned Audrey Landers who was a cast member of Dallas and who together with her sister Judy Landers was one of the hottest commodities of that time.


Before the Hilton sisters, Mother Nature blessed us with the stunning Landers sisters, and if you were a teen in the 1980s, the only crack you were on was the roughly twelve inches of cleavage shared between Judy Landers and her sister Audrey. They helped keep the boob in " boob tube " for over a decade, with appearances on nearly every hit tv show requiring a dyed in the scalp blonde with the breast busting bikini body to match.



The 80s gave us a lot of the Landers sisters, mostly on the small screen, where they were often fashioned in as little clothing as possible and even less dialogue. It's hard to imagine though, or it's hard when you imagine, just how famous older sister Audrey Landers became playing the perennial bubbly blonde for our perpetually perky peckers. The sexbombs dazzled us with their own brand of twin magic long before the Bellas arrived on the scene and I must confess I prefer their version of it since here we got two sexbombs for the price of one while Bree is just a poor version of Nikki since she got her boobs inflated to pornstarsize. But back to the Landers.



With their perfectly shaped breasts, butts that won´t quit, legs almost up to their chins plus their lean and fit tireless bodies these blow up sex doll were just born for porn and back in the 80s they were the hottest blonde double d combo everybody fantasized about as two thirds of a sandwich.


Which makes it even more astounding that they never did porn or even explicit sex scenes. To top it all off there are no juicy behind the scenes rumors of the sisters where you might expect some wild foursomes going on at the set of Dallas with Audrey Landers, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy and Victoria Principal ( or any of the hot sexbombs like Stacy Sanchez, Michelle Johnson, Priscilla Presley, Charlene Tilton, Deborah Shelton, Coleen Camp, Morgan Fairchild, Barbara Carrera, Tracy Scoggins, Claudia Christian, Lesley Anne - Down or Janine Turner who appeared there ).







Or at least some stories about crazy marathon sex orgies after shooting Madame´s Place or whatever show Judy Landers was shooting since she was clearly the one with the ultimate porn star body. Don´t get me wrong, Audrey´s body was nothing to scoff at and she has the prettier face. But while Audrey has " bedroom eyes " her sister Judy has " sex eyes " - she knows that you want to have sex with her and it´s only a matter of  time.


Plus, she has those pronounced cheeks you only get from years of oral sex.


So it´s no wonder that the more sophisticated looking Audrey landed on Dallas and Galactica while Judy mostly got the parts of the dumb blonde.


In real life neither of them were but they clearly were unaware of the general public´s perception of them as the ultimate sex symbols. Proof of that is the fact that they did a very tasteful but non - nude ( and non - paying, so thanks for that ) PLAYBOY pictorial for publicity reasons only.







They thought it would help the direction of their career and that the roles they would be offered would change from cheerleaders to more mature roles. Of course the incredibly sexy pictures had just the opposite effect since a lot of people had not actually seen the pictorial and just assumed they had done nudity and so all of the roles they were offered had nudity.


Like I said, for two such incredible sexbombs it´s astounding that they managed to life a life without sex scandals and they are both married and have two kids, Audrey has twin sons and Judy has two daughters. There have been a few attempts to do a reality show with the sisters but their everyday life turned out to be too boring for the networks and since they refused to spice it up to get more viewers nothing ever came out of it.



I have a few more clips to add and I want to start with the comedy Stewardess School, one of Judy Landers best known movies. She later appeared in Dr. Alien a.k.a. I Was A Teenage Sex Maniac which got some kind of a fan following but I could not find a good clip from that movie.



Since the videos above are much more in favor of Judy I wanted to add another one with Audrey from Dallas. I still haven´t finished to watch the series because I made the mistake of taking a break. This is a show that was made to binge watch because it pulls you in completely and once you are out it is extremely difficult to get back into it. I think when I start again I have to go back to the famous episode in which Bobby Ewing comes out of the shower alive and well again. I don´t know how many episodes I saw beyond that but I have a feeling that this is the best point of re - entry. And it shows you how iconic this show is that even if you have never seen an episode of Dallas you know exactly what I´m talking about with the scene where Bobby Ewing steps out of the shower.



While I made a reference to twin magic Audrey and Judy Landers are not actual twins, in fact Judy was born two full years after Audrey. They still managed to play twins in some movies. Not in Ghost Writer though where Audrey again played the classy one and Judy took on the role of sexbomb.



Now I thought about going through all my bookmarked music videos to find one that does not feature Audrey Landers and still somehow fits the feel of this post but that could have taken a few days. I wanted to add one with Audery but at the same time I didn´t want to post one of her cheesy Schlager songs from german tv. Luckily I found this clip from an episode of MacGyver no less where she apparently plays a rock star doing an anti drug video. I might be going out on a limb but does Rock Against Drugs really work ? Isn´t the motto Sex & Drugs & Rock´n Roll ? I mean Audrey Landers definitely has the first and the last one covered here.



Coming to Sex & Drugs & Comic Books, while the underground comix movement started in the USA in the 1960s it wasn´t until 1980 that the Volksverlag was founded and classic artists like Gilbert Shelton, Bill Griffith or Robert Crumb reached a wider audience in Germany through their cult publication U - Comix. So for germans who grew up in the 80s watching Dallas and reading underground comix goes hand in hand. Or joint in hand.



One of the reasons why I back dated this post to the same day when I started the Bob Layton Iron Man post ( when actually I am writing this three days later ) is that instead of having to deal with more birthdays I have missed I get to cherry pick the videos. Granted, it can be difficult to choose the right videos but on the other hand I can select some unique findings or videos that always fall to the wayside. So for this post I have selected one from Phantom 2040 which I always skip in favor of another video about Lee Falk´s famous creation ( which was one of Bob Kane´s inspirations for Batman ) because I already posted one or two episodes somewhere. But with all the posts I made I don´t have the time to go back and find them and they may already been erased. With that in mind I am putting up the first five episodes for those readers that might have missed it and even if the other videos are still on the blog the show is that good that it warrants repeating it. Unlike the godawful tv version. 



Speaking of unique findings, for this post I want to take a break from the horror anthology movies so I am closing things for Today with the first episode of Nowhere Man, a show I have never heard of and naturally found while looking for something completely different. Maybe some of my readers can help me out with this since I have no idea if it was good.



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best


My own ward, Speedy, is a junkie !

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