A cult siren spin off : the Landers sisters !

Once again a part of the post has become longer and longer so I have decided to give these two Hollywood hotties their own little post.

It also is a chance for me to post the clips of Audrey and Judy Landers which I have included in previous posts in the form of links. Although it is more a chance for my readers since I am pretty sure most of them don´t bother checking out the links so these videos will be brand new for them.



One of the problems of writing for such a long time on these posts is that things can change while you are trying to finish them. Sometimes you can go back and fix them but sometimes you can´t so we have a little callback in this post. You may remember that in my last post I mentioned Audrey Landers who was a cast member of Dallas and who together with her sister Judy Landers was one of the hottest commodities of that time.

Before the Hilton sisters, Mother Nature blessed us with the stunning Landers sisters, and if you were a teen in the 1980s, the only crack you were on was the roughly twelve inches of cleavage shared between Judy Landers and her sister Audrey. They helped keep the boob in " boob tube " for over a decade, with appearances on nearly every hit tv show requiring a dyed in the scalp blonde with the breast busting bikini body to match.



The 80s gave us a lot of the Landers sisters, mostly on the small screen, where they were often fashioned in as little clothing as possible and even less dialogue. It's hard to imagine though, or it's hard when you imagine, just how famous older sister Audrey Landers became playing the perennial bubbly blonde for our perpetually perky peckers. The sexbombs dazzled us with their own brand of twin magic long before the Bellas arrived on the scene and I must confess I prefer their version of it since here we got two sexbombs for the price of one while Bree is just a poor version of Nikki since she got her boobs inflated to pornstarsize. But back to the Landers.



With their perfectly shaped breasts, butts that won´t quit, legs almost up to their chins plus their lean and fit tireless bodies these blow up sex doll were just born for porn and back in the 80s they were the hottest blonde double d combo everybody fantasized about as two thirds of a sandwich.

Which makes it even more astounding that they never did porn or even explicit sex scenes. To top it all off there are no juicy behind the scenes rumors of the sisters where you might expect some wild foursomes going on at the set of Dallas with Audrey Landers, Larry Hagman, Patrick Duffy and Victoria Principal ( or any of the hot sexbombs like Stacy Sanchez, Michelle Johnson, Priscilla Presley, Charlene Tilton, Deborah Shelton, Coleen Camp, Morgan Fairchild, Barbara Carrera, Tracy Scoggins, Claudia Christian, Lesley Anne - Down or Janine Turner who appeared there ).







Or at least some stories about crazy marathon sex orgies after shooting Madame´s Place or whatever show Judy Landers was shooting since she was clearly the one with the ultimate porn star body. Don´t get me wrong, Audrey´s body was nothing to scoff at and she has the prettier face. But while Audrey has " bedroom eyes " her sister Judy has " sex eyes " - she knows that you want to have sex with her and it´s only a matter of  time.

Plus, she has those pronounced cheeks you only get from years of oral sex.

So it´s no wonder that the more sophisticated looking Audrey landed on Dallas and Galactica while Judy mostly got the parts of the dumb blonde.

In real life neither of them were but they clearly were unaware of the general public´s perception of them as the ultimate sex symbols. Proof of that is the fact that they did a very tasteful but non - nude ( and non - paying, so thanks for that ) PLAYBOY pictorial for publicity reasons only.

They thought it would help the direction of their career and that the roles they would be offered would change from cheerleaders to more mature roles. Of course the incredibly sexy pictures had just the opposite effect since a lot of people had not actually seen the pictorial and just assumed they had done nudity and so all of the roles they were offered had nudity.

Like I said, for two such incredible sexbombs it´s astounding that they managed to life a life without sex scandals and they are both married and have two kids, Audrey has twin sons and Judy has two daughters. There have been a few attempts to do a reality show with the sisters but their everyday life turned out to be too boring for the networks and since they refused to spice it up to get more viewers nothing ever came out of it.



I have a few more clips to add and I want to start with the comedy Stewardess School, one of Judy Landers best known movies. She later appeared in Dr. Alien a.k.a. I Was A Teenage Sex Maniac which got some kind of a fan following but I could not find a good clip from that movie.



Since the videos above are much more in favor of Judy I wanted to add another one with Audrey from Dallas. I still haven´t finished to watch the series because I made the mistake of taking a break. This is a show that was made to binge watch because it pulls you in completely and once you are out it is extremely difficult to get back into it. I think when I start again I have to go back to the famous episode in which Bobby Ewing comes out of the shower alive and well again. I don´t know how many episodes I saw beyond that but I have a feeling that this is the best point of re - entry. And it shows you how iconic this show is that even if you have never seen an episode of Dallas you know exactly what I´m talking about with the scene where Bobby Ewing steps out of the shower.



While I made a reference to twin magic Audrey and Judy Landers are not actual twins, in fact Judy was born two full years after Audrey. They still managed to play twins in some movies. Not in Ghost Writer though where Audrey again played the classy one and Judy took on the role of sexbomb.



Now I thought about going through all my bookmarked music videos to find one that does not feature Audrey Landers and still somehow fits the feel of this post but that could have taken a few days. I wanted to add one with Audery but at the same time I didn´t want to post one of her cheesy Schlager songs from german tv. Luckily I found this clip from an episode of MacGyver no less where she apparently plays a rock star doing an anti drug video. I might be going out on a limb but does Rock Against Drugs really work ? Isn´t the motto Sex & Drugs & Rock´n Roll ? I mean Audrey Landers definitely has the first and the last one covered here.



Coming to Sex & Drugs & Comic Books, while the underground comix movement started in the USA in the 1960s it wasn´t until 1980 that the Volksverlag was founded and classic artists like Gilbert Shelton, Bill Griffith or Robert Crumb reached a wider audience in Germany through their cult publication U - Comix. So for germans who grew up in the 80s watching Dallas and reading underground comix goes hand in hand. Or joint in hand.



One of the reasons why I back dated this post to the same day when I started the Bob Layton Iron Man post ( when actually I am writing this three days later ) is that instead of having to deal with more birthdays I have missed I get to cherry pick the videos. Granted, it can be difficult to choose the right videos but on the other hand I can select some unique findings or videos that always fall to the wayside. So for this post I have selected one from Phantom 2040 which I always skip in favor of another video about Lee Falk´s famous creation ( which was one of Bob Kane´s inspirations for Batman ) because I already posted one or two episodes somewhere. But with all the posts I made I don´t have the time to go back and find them and they may already been erased. With that in mind I am putting up the first five episodes for those readers that might have missed it and even if the other videos are still on the blog the show is that good that it warrants repeating it. Unlike the godawful tv version. 



Speaking of unique findings, for this post I want to take a break from the horror anthology movies so I am closing things for Today with the first episode of Nowhere Man, a show I have never heard of and naturally found while looking for something completely different. Maybe some of my readers can help me out with this since I have no idea if it was good.



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My own ward, Speedy, is a junkie !

Thorsday with Jack Kirby : Thor 173 part 1

When I wrote in my last Jack Kirby THORSDAY post that I was going to continue with THOR 173 I thought I could get all the pages into one post. And while my cry for help to find more original art pages from that issue have been widely ignored by the internet I found all the colored pages.

Now with the added pages - and the pages I already posted in this post and which I´m including to have them all together - it is a total count of 48 pages and that´s just too much for a single post. Also that way I do not have to think about what I am going to post in next week´s THORSDAY post. Unless something else comes up but that goes without saying. So like in previous posts I´m including the german black and white pages, the original art pages in english and the color pages of which I could only find the splash page in a german version. I hope you enjoy this and please contact me if you know where I can find pages in additional languages.

Time to end the first part as Thor is ready to entertain the crowd. With a bit of luck we can continue this next week. With just a few links that we will cover in the fun block let´s head straight to the celebrity birthdays and comedian Sarah Silverman who turns 46. Initially I was going to post a different video with her - that I had already bookmarked - when I came across some animated GIFs from this year´s Oscars. I had totally forgotten how Sarah had squeezed her big 36C boobs almost up to her chin. Talk about when push comes to shove. That´s squeeze as squeeze can.

Usually I only post one video per candidate but I could not find a video that contained Sarah´s full controversial speech so I´m posting two.

For a country that had to make it´s own Bond knock off movies with Austin Powers to get over the fact that the greatest spy in the world is NOT american ( and let´s face it american´s are the only ones who find these movies funny ) they took Sarah´s stabs at the spy who allegedly loved her very badly. But I think that is a problem with women in comedy in general : too much of their comedy routines have to do with what I would diplomatically describe as pillow talk, the performance of previous male acquaintances in that area or generally bashing men. Maybe I´m generalizing here but there is always the looming threat of being seen as anti female if you do not find a female comedian funny. If you are not laughing then you are a sexist. Like with the new Ghostbusters movie.

The problem was not an all female cast - Andy Sidaris always had leading ladies and he made the best adult action movies - the movie was just bad.

But back to Sarah Silverman, hot women and comedy : I have no illusions that I am a sexist. One thing I like about Sarah Silverman is of course her big chest. As a being that is genetically engineered to get sexually aroused by breasts which only increases with the size of the bosom in question for reasons of the survival of my species I can´t even feel guilty about it. That doesn´t mean that there can´t be women who are sexy AND funny like Tina Fey, Ana Morgade, Anna Simon, Berta Collado or Ivonne Reyes prove.

And there are times when they are not funny. Now I did not find Sarah´s skit particularly funny or in good taste but it certainly didn´t deserve the negative response it got with people going so far as stopping watching the Oscar show. We are after all talking about a fictional character here.




Since we are on the subject of controversial persons, ex Marvel head honcho Joe Quesada celebrates his 54 birthday and since I am almost completely out of reading Marvel comics ( or better NEW Disney comics since I will still buy Bronze Age Marvel comics ) after finishing the last trade of Mark Waid and Chris Samnee´s Daredevil run The Autobiography Of Matt Murdock I don´t follow the Marvel news as closely as I used to do.

Because it´s just too depressing. Anything Disney puts out now seems like a lackluster rehashing of stories that we have already seen from better writers and better artists. I just ordered three Silver Surfer paperbacks and once Mike Allred finishes his stint on that book I am done with new Disney comic books. I might complete Hawkeye but there is nothing else that is even remotely interesting now. Coming back to Joe Quesada I first became aware of him when he was doing Ninjak at Valiant and later his own thing with Ash. I always liked his art style and he still seems to be genuinely excited about comics so I can´t be mad about him as a person. 

As a creator and especially as an editor he had some strange ideas like that Peter Parker must not be allowed to age beyond the starting point of Stan Lee and Steve Ditko and he must remain youthful and unmarried to appeal to young readers. Which is the biggest load of crap I have heard.

What made Spider - Man so interesting was the fact that Peter Parker GOT older, found a job and married. He grew as a character over time. Other heroes in comics didn´t get to do that. And anybody who thinks life gets less interesting and complicated when you are married with children is still single. Also the whole argument backfires as it doesn´t really help readers who are married with kids relate to a carefree, single guy hitting single bars to pick up women and still looking for a job. In any case if you want to read something really great by Joe Quesada check out Guardian Devil by Kevin Smith - where Joe provides the art - or Mask In The Iron Man with art by Sean Chen. The last one is like a class of Comics 101 because Joe opens every issue with the exact same words but by juxtaposition with different pictures he achieves to fit it into a new context each time.



It´s back to small screen entertainment as Charlene Tilton turns 58 who is best known for playing J.R.´s sexual overactive niece. Lucy Ewing may be one of the reasons why it´s called " the boob tube " as the short sexpot with the 35D bust size strut her stuff to the delight of male audiences.

She starts out as an underage nymphomaniac jailbait who sleeps her way through the hired help - a role Charlene Tilton was born to play thanks to her short height and unproportionally large breasts - but becomes a much more balanced character throughout the series. Intellectually you wonder why the guys that work at the Southfork Ranch jeopardize their jobs by giving it to the boss´ grandniece but once you get a gander at Charlene´s spectacular physique you can´t deny her solid arguments. You can find out more about the original series on DALLAS REVIEWED and for more cult show madness SUPERSOAPS has 20 Urban Legends Of The 80´s Supersoaps.



Woody Allen celebrates his 81st birthday and I have not seen most of his latest movies like Hollywood Ending where he starred opposite Tiffani Amber Theissen. Tiffani also starred alongside Aaron Spelling´s daughter in one of the tv shows he created and the reason why I´m mentioning that is that he also produced Dynasty which was the competition to Dallas.

Tiffani Amber Theissen is well known since this fastlaning sexbomb - who has the best natural breasts in Hollywood according to Howard Stern - has been scorching the tv screen for quite some time with her curvaceous hardbody and her big 37DD Beverly Hills to the delight of males worldwide.

I never was a big fan of the Beverly Hills, 90210 show but that quickly changed when I saw wet Tiffani Thiessen´s booming breasts in a bikini - which was a product of mother nature - and Tori Spelling´s growing boobs - which were a gift of Daddy and the best plastic surgery could buy. There was a special episode that got my attention in which Tori Spelling was dancing in a leather hooker outfit while shooting a rock music video.

If you can call her wild fertility inducing movements dancing. She really was just shaking her big boobs in the general direction of the camera. But that she did very effectively. I never was a big Tori Spelling fan but in that scene she really squeezed her breast into a tight leather top and just pushed them straight in your face. Now that´s what I call entertainment.

Those directors got it made, they just go " Okay guys, in the next four episodes Tiffani dresses up as a prostitute. And she has to do at least one striptease and two nude sex scenes in each episode. Which is really necessary for her character. Oh yeah, and send her to my trailer for .... extreme rehearsal. We have to go over the scene ... orally. " Those horny perverts are to thank for that Tiffani was so often in bikinis on that show.

Speaking about hookers, besides appearing on Beverly Hills 90210 Tiffani also was on Saved by the Bell with Elizabeth Berkley who revealed her real stripper nature in Showgirls. The movie was called a flop when it first come out but in the meantime it has become a cult classic mainly based on Elizabeth´s stripper moves which left me no other chance than cast her as one of my alternate choices for the Nympho Supergirl from Earth XXX in my second alternatives post for casting the Justice League movie .

But double jointed Elizabeth not only licks the chrome off your steelhard pole she has the all important " pumping pelvic thrust " move down to pat. I bet that comes in handy with that portable casting couch she allegedly has and I would not mind being at the receiving end of that a few hours.

One last thing about Tiffani Amber Thiessen : I do not know if I have already posted this in any of my previous posts but GUYSPEED has 27 GIFs of Tiffani Amber Thiessen and you can find 37 GIFs of her at COED com. Just be sure to check out the first link first because it has all GIFs on one page while you have to click through them one by one in the second link. 

We return to comedians as the first candidate in our Dearly Departed section is Richard Pryor, one of the most important and influential stand up comedians of all time. Of all the things that have been said about him like seminal comedian of the last fifty years David Chapelle describes it the best : " You know those, like, evolution charts of man ? He was the dude walking upright. Richard was the highest evolution of comedy. "

After I found the picture above I had to find out who the hot blonde was and after a bit of research I found out that her name is Teresa Ganzel and that she co starred with Richard Pryor in the movie The Toy from 1982.



Bursting with bosomness and a sly, kittenish sense of humor she often played ditzy, busty blonde bimbos and became famous as a recurring cast member of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, having replaced the late Carol Wayne as the Matinee Lady in the popular Tea Time Movie skits. You might remember that I mentioned Carol Wayne in Mike Zeck´s birthday post and if you missed that you absolutely HAVE to google Carol Wayne.

The blonde bombshell with the mega inflated body of a living blow up sex doll predestined for the adult industry ( her exact body measures are not known but it is assumed that they were around 39DD - 24 - 35 ) made dreams come true when she did a nude PLAYBOY pictorial in February 1984.

With a curvaceous body that must have been the envy of most porn stars of that time she had many fans who followed her guest appearances on such television shows like I Spy, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. , The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. or The Fall Guy. She had roles in the movies Gunn, The Party and Heartbreakers in which she had a nude scene. Carol appeared in many sketches on The Red Skelton Show but she gained her greatest fame for her 100 plus appearances as the Matinee Lady between 1971 and 1984. In Love American Style she played a secretary that constantly distracts her boss with her big gazongas . She would´ve made one hell of a Power Girl !



So both Carol Wayne and Teresa Ganzel got famous through appearances on Johnny Carson and I did find a clip with Richard Prior from the show where he is promoting Superman III ( which was called Superman III - The Steel Lightning for some reason ). This is a comic blog after all and it was not the worst Superman movie. Speaking of Superman movies I´m not sure which I would rate lower, Superman IV - The Quest For Peace ( which at least has a real Superman with Christopher Reeve ) or Man Of Steel.



Our final birthday salute also has something to do with comics as it goes out to french artist Morris who created one of the most famous cowboys in pop culture. I read most of this poor, lonesome cowboy´s adventures through the library and I have to say that I like his later art style much better than his early stuff. There are of course a lot of great albums so it´s hard to pick personal favorites but I was always fond of the ones most would consider classics like Calamity Jane, The Bounty Hunter, The Tenderfoot, anything with the Daltons but most of all The Stagecoach.

As the only interview with Morris I could find was in french and I do not consider the tv series with Terence Hill a good adaption I almost posted an animated Lucky Luke movie ( of which I have not seen any so I don´t know which one is the best - or if there even is a best one among the entire bunch ) when I remembered this video from Das Phantastische Project.



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