But that shows you how things can go. Back then Latoya was the sexy one while Janet was the shy, demure and almost tomboy like little sister of Michael. Boy, how things change. Janet´s body really developed in all the right places and when she busted out people quickly forgot about Latoya.
Originally posted on Friday, 4th of September 2009
Now the post on my old boob blog about Latoya Jackson started innocently enough with a picture of what I assumed to ge Janet Jackson although I wondered if her breasts had grown three sizes ( at least ) since I last saw her. I even made a banner with this picture but didn´t think much about it. I tried to find the picture in a better resolution but there is nothing.
The only weird thing was that the name tag on the picture was " Latoya " so the next time I was looking for pictures of Janet Jackson I also looked for pictures of Latoya Jackson. And lo and behold there she was and indeed she has quite a bigger chest than Janet. So I thought instead of the usual COMICBABE BATTLE isn´t it time for the ULTIMATE SEXBOMB SUPERBATTLE to decide who is the hotter Jackson Janet or Latoya ?
This is the big one, baby. The rumble of the racks. The thriller with the killer body. Sister against sister in a last hardbody standing match.
FIRST ROUND : THERE´S SOMETHING JUMPING UNDER YOUR SHIRT
Latoya Jackson clearly has a bigger bust than Janet as her big gazongas stretch any shirt to the limit of the breaking point although sadly no wardrobe malfunctions occurred which would give us definite proof.
Now while Janet doesn´t have such huge torpedoes as Latoya she makes a valiant effort and at least shakes her money makers for all they are worth. And let me tell you they are worth a lot. She also has an awesome butt cleavage in this one. But since this is kind of the basic round which serves as a baseline for the rest of this contest I have to ignore Janet´s butt and judge this alone on breast size and so I have to concede this round to Latoya. I just wish they had done some wet t - shirt pictures.
Winner first round : Latoya Jackson
SECOND ROUND : BUSTING OUT or I´M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT
Here is where the competition really starts. Now with Latoya I have to make this decision based on the pictures I found because there are no GIFs where you can see her with an open shirt or some cleavage. And judging from the picture Latoya should win this although both are 35C according to the internet but judging by the pictures Janet could easily be a 36D which would make Latoya a 38D or at least a 36G ( for Giant tits ).
Making this decision is really very hard ( no pun intended ) because what Janet is missing in sheer size she makes up for for having perfectly shaped breasts which we could even see during her famous wardrobe malfunction. She goes all in, squeezing her soft, juicy boobs into shirts that are two sizes too small and pushing up what can be pushed up.
Like when she had her live appearance on GOOD MORNING AMERICA in her ultimate F - word me now ! - outfit. How is it that all the clips of that are in bad quality ? Whenever there is something happening we don´t want to see like stars without panties or makeup there are a gazillion cameras around but the live appearance of a major pop superstar on one of the biggest morning shows gets only filmed with crappy material ?
Anyway, I was close to give this one to Janet but Latoya wins this round by a nipple´s width because at the end of the day I would choose her to hacerme una cubana how they say in Spain ( named after the fact that in Cuba the women made the cigars by rolling them between their huge breasts ). Janet gets points for trying but Latoya just eclipses her.
Winner second round : Latoya, bonus point for Janet who is close second
THIRD ROUND : ON STAGE or THE BOOBS THAT MEAN THE WORLD
This round in a new addition because it´s also an important aspect to judge the Jackson sisters adequately. Here things like stage presence and stage outfits come into play and Latoya is at a clear disadvantage here. Her best days on stage are behind her and although she had a booming body back in the day and some very risque outfits finishes second. I have found a clip from a more recent live appearance and there is a whole lot of shaking going on ( it looks like she has some big water balloons ) but it´s nowhere near Janet Jackson´s level of on stage blow up sex dolliness.
Now in this discipline Janet really shines because this is what she was born to do. On stage she can show everybody why she was dubbed the best body in showbiz. Her shows are spectacular, her scandalous outfits fit for any pornstar in training and her highly suggestive dance moves would make a nymphomaniac blush. She really knows how to shake it.
She surpassed Latoya in this category since she took her shirt off. I don´t recall Latoya doing that although she had some outfits that were close.
And don´t forget Janet´s other bonerinducing performances like her live appearance on WETTEN DASS ( which I missed and it took me years to find it online ) where her gorgeously glistening giant Jackson twins shot a whole generation of prepubescent little boys into puberty prematurely.
Plus she got an ass that just won´t quit which is when her outfit from the first round gets her more points for Janet´s spectacular butt cleavage.
You could also get a good look at her firm, round buttocks during the season finale of American Idol where she performed a medley of Again, Nothing and Nasty. Not to mention Janet´s impressive XXL milkshakes.
And don´t think that she has lost any of her sex appeal. As she clearly showed on her last tour she´s better than ever at squeezing her big boobs into skintight outfits even if she did not have a wardrobe malfunction this time. But not for lack of trying. By the way, this was another instance where there was no camera around when we need it. Will there even BE a video of her latest live tour ? So far I have only seen crappy footage.
Winner round three : Janet with bonus points for butt cleavage
FOURTH ROUND : PICTURE PERFECT or MY ANGEL IS A CENTERFOLD
In this round we take a look at photos, pictures, magazine covers and posters and Latoya has been on the cover of PLAYBOY and naked twice.
Janet has sadly done no nude pictures so far but her covers don´t leave much to the imagination either. And she has a body pornstars envy.
Here we see Latoya Jackson squeezing her titanic tits together tightly.
Here is a cover with Janet in a similar pose, but she´s completely topless.
Even if Janet never did nude pictures ( a crave crime against humanity ) she has the better pictures and I have to concede this round to her.
Winner fourth round : Janet by far
FIFTH ROUND : SEX, BLOW UP LOVE DOLLS AND VIDEOTAPES
This is also another category I added to compare the two contestants adequately. For Latoya I had to search quite a while and I did not find any animated GIFs from her music videos so I had to go to YouTube for help.
Now that is not bad but Janet got this one also clearly in her pocket for showing her bonerinducing body in dozens of hot videos. Not mentioning her Airwolf appearance as a busty stripper ( well, I don´t know if it was explicitly planned as a busty stripper but with her huge XXL melons it´s the only kind of stripper Janet can really be ) in a peep show who dresses up as a sexy school teacher ( school girl ? ) in Jermaine Dupri´s Gotta Getcha video. Janet´s performance is so hot it hasn´t been shown on german tv to this day. Here are some animated GIFs of her breast scenes.
Daimn, Janet really let´s her inner sex freak loose reign. But not only does she win this one but if I take into account how her big beach balls almost pop out of her shirt Janet retroactively wins the second round too.
Winner fifth round : nympho Janet, again with a huge difference
FINAL VERDICT : THE BEST THERE IS THE BEST THERE WAS
Now in my initial post I had only four rounds which lead to a tie so I had to factor in a few things. But in this sex doll confrontation Janet clearly has the upper hand over her sister. While Latoya wins the first round Janet almost ties in the second round and even wins it retroactively. Even if she didn´t she wins three out of five rounds with bonus points for her butt cleavage. So if I also take into account that Janet´s breasts while being smaller than Latoya´s breasts are real, Janet´s face has aged better than Latoya´s and that Janet beats out Latoya where the rest of the body is concerned the title of ultimate sexbomb has to go to Janet Jackson.
Which doesn´t mean that I wouldn´t taken the chance to jump Latoya´s bones. Better yet would be a special Jackson sandwich with me in the middle of Janet and Latoya. Can you say double DD motorboat party ?
And we´re staying black with our next celebrity birthday as ex - Spice Girl Melanie Brown a.k.a. Mel B a.k.a Scary Spice celebrates her 40th year. Today´s tv addicts know her as one of the hosts of Lipsynch Battle UK.
I thought about how to make the segueway from Latoya Jackson and Janet Jackson to Mel B but then I remembered that Mel did her version of Janet´s famous cover for the Rolling Stone magazime a few years back. I already have quite a few homages to that cover and I would have done a DEJA VUE post about that if making this post hadn´t taken me so long.
Melissa Etheridge turns 54 years old and usually I would post a video from The Voice or X - Factor but I found this one with the boss instead. Every time I´m at a music store I totally blank on the fact that I still don´t own a Bruce Springsteen CD. I always think maybe next time I will remember.
For an immortal Adrian Paul´s 56 years of existence is nothing more than the blinking of an eye, gone in a moment but I still want to congratulate him even if he´s not my favorite McCloud. That´s Christopher Lambert.
Like most succesful tv series there has been a comic book adaption of Highlander and if you haven´t read any of those - like me - you might want to check out T J Krul´s writers commentary about Highlander : Way Of The Sword 1 on COMIC BOOK RESOURCES or read the interview with Adrian Paul on TIME WARRIORS. Personally I think the tv series would have worked better if they had told it linear. I know that that way it could take a while before we come to the modern times but we already had that in the movie with a much better lead actor and I´m not a big fan of repeating in a tv series what already was done in a movie. And the big downside of starting in the present day and tell the rest of the story in flashbacks was that no matter how dangerous things got you always knew that the main character would survive it because he´s alive right now. Big mood killer. Anyway, since I couldn´t find the first episode - which has Christopher Lambert guest starring - in english as a complete episode here is the spanish version. As for the tv series it was okay until they brought the kid in and decided to make him an immortal too. Before that he was a special person who gave the viewers a unique point of view but then he changed into a younger version of the main character. Things got really ugly in this bad tv movie where this bad guy assembled a team of immortal killers who then sat at a table just waiting to be beheaded by him not lifting a finger. I mean, I´m no ruthless immortal killer but if you try to cut my head off I´m not just sitting there and let you do it, bubba.
Our next birthday is Robert Logan who turns74 and he was in 77 Sunset Strip. Which you guys must be tired of me mention over and over again.
Since he joined the cast later here is the first episode he appeared in.
We start the section of the dearly departed with Sebastian Shaw who played Anakin Skywalker in Return Of The Jedi. NOT Darth Vader. He was played by somebody else. And since I have already posted the best Darth Vader clip ever ( and don´t think that another STAR WARS burlesque clip is appropriate ) there is no STAR WARS clip Today. There will be however much more STAR WARS content in the future. For once because I still have to read STAR WARS : THE COMPLETE MARVEL YEARS volume 1 omnibus but also because I just got a lot of Disney´s new True Believers comics for 1 dollar among them issue 1 of STAR WARS by John Cassaday, CHEWBACCA, Dodson´s PRINCESS LEIA, DARTH VADER and VADER DOWN.
Today is also the birthday of comedy legend Bob Hope and like most big celebrities from his time he starred in his own comic book series.
I don´t think I have seen all of his movies but there are a few favorites of mine like Bachelor in Paradise, The Paleface ( His Two Gun Angel in the german version ) and Son of Paleface. This clip is from the last one with Roy Rogers and again cult siren Jane Russell and the movie is extremely difficult to find in Germany so if you see it somewhere grab it quickly.
Another near mythical figure from american pop culture is president John F. Kennedy who was also born on this day. The are probably not many historical figures who are involved in so many conspiracy theories like him, just think about all the things people have written over the years about his death or his relationship to film sexsymbol Marilyn Monroe.
He also appeared in Action Comics 309 where he disguised as Clark Kent to keep Lois Lane and Lana Lang from exposing Superman´s secret identity. I always found it strange that the president himself would do this instead of having somebody from the secret service cover for Superman but maybe they were buddies ? I mean if there is one president Superman would hang out with and talk about Marilyn and kissing Supergirl .....
Kennedy also appeared in a Superman story that was canceled because of his assassination and instead if it the story Luthor - Super Hero ! was published in SUPERMAN 168. The story later was printed in SUPERMAN 170 although the cover image featured the imaginary story If Luthor were Superman´s Father. You can read more about this on DIAL B FOR BLOG .
Now I couldn´t end this post without a Latoya Jackson video so here is an interview on Richard & Judy from the year 2009 with her and the twins.
New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
No comments:
Post a Comment