Monday, May 16, 2016

Happy best bod in showbiz birthday Janet !

I was so preoccupied with other stuff that I totally forgot that my all time favorite sexbomb Janet " All Night Don´t Stop " Jackson has her 50th birthday Today. Since this hits me totally unprepared I am going to re - post her part of my SUBZERO edition of casting a Justice League movie.


I wrote this retroactively which means that I finished the post two and a half months AFTER her birthday but what good is a birthday post when it´s not dated at the birthday ? Anyway, initially I decided to give Janet her own post because of the many animated GIFs and I tried to keep this short but as usual I got carried away a bit. I included a long part about her silver spacesuit as Green Lantern Soranik Natu wears something similar.


This being a JLA casting post I should probably say something about Soranik Natu but as I still have some gaps in my GREEN LANTERN CORPS issues I haven´t read much with her. As for the GREEN LANTERN series I read the first two trades after the NEW 52 but then it got too dark and depressing for me. Geoff Johns used to be a good writer on JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA but here it´s just one braindead idea of the Guardians after another. The only good parts have been with Sinestro.

Janet Jackson as Green Lantern ( Soranik Natu )


As I have already cast Halle Berry, Beyonce and Mary Alejo I just have to include the best body in show business, Janet Jackson in this version.


And what better role than THE corps body, clevage lantern Soranik Natu ?

Janet has starred in a few movies so she´s a serious actress but she also has a body that makes pornstars jealous so I´d have to capitalize on that.


This is my " anything goes " cast so Janet will have to be in a scene where she´s totally naked, maybe with a bit of make up like X - Men´s Rebecca Romijn - Stamos as Mystique. Or at least she´s not wearing more than a bikini made out of shoelaces. Although Janet still has it I would pick her from when she shot Jermaine Dupri´s GOTTA GETCHA music video which I think never aired on german music television because it was too hot.

If you still haven´t seen it Janet plays a busty stripper ( well, I don´t know if it was planned as a busty stripper but with her huge melons it´s the only kind of stripper Janet can really be ) in a peep show who dresses up as a sexy school teacher ( school girl ? ) and here are some animated GIFs of her breast scenes. I posted the full video in last year´s post.


She looks good whenever she´s on stage like when she had the wardrobe malfunction going ALL NIGHT ( DON´T STOP ) on the Jay Leno show.


Man, she almost lost her pants and you really got an eyeful of her spectacular ass. You could even see her asscrack which was a premiere.


Nowadays every girl is showing some huge butt cleavage except Janet. which is a total bummer because she has the best booty ever. But she would have to do a scene with a lot of butt cleavage in my movie.


Heck, butt cleavage would definitely not be the only kind of cleavage Janet would show and we all know that she looks stunning in a spacesuit ( click here for more HQ pictures of Janet performing in her spacesuit on her Numbers One Tour from the official Janet Jackson website gallery ).


Usually I don´t have links for this but while going through my bookmarks I found some articles about her space suit concerts that I didn´t post.


Jude Bautista writes in his post YOUTHFUL AND HOT JANET JACKSON :

Janet Jackson has always been one of the sexiest women ever. Obviously the bone structure in her face and her body has the perfect proportion of voluptuousness. Fans go out of their minds when they see her in a hot latex, space inspired suit. The costume showed off her curves that fans have been longing to see and no one was disappointed. Her sexiness exudes the physical. It’s seen on her body and felt in her songs.

Joey Guerra follows in his article JANET JACKSON TAKES CONTROL OF RODEOHOUSTON with She looked incredible in a skintight silver catsuit, her hair chopped into a jagged bob. Even the headset mic was sexy.


And finally Chris Grey was very impressed by her voluptuous performance as he writes in LAST NIGHT - JANET JACKSON AT RODEOHOUSTON :

My first thought upon seeing Janet in that silver catsuit was very simple: Mama ! Clad in a sleek silver catsuit so tight it was a miracle she could even breathe, let alone walk, let alone shimmy, let alone writhe on the stage during FEEDBACK, let alone pull of the kung - fu dance moves of IF and RHYTHM NATION, Janet Jackson kicked whatever bad mojo lingered from her Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction straight out of the Reliant Stadium rodeo chute. Girl was smokin'. Check out the post´s slideshow .


And here are some articles from the media´s initial outrage about Janet´s perceived spacesuit wardrobe malfunction. Reading them you might get the impression that Janet Jackson´s breasts are going to invade China and begin their quest for world domination any minute now.

JANET STRUGGLES TO KEEP HER BOOBS UNDER WRAPS ( AGAIN )

Janet Jackson resembled the look of Katie Price as she narrowly avoided another ' wardrobe malfunction ' during a concert in Taiwan.

The 44 - year - old international sex symbol clearly hasn't been put off flashing the flesh, wearing a leather catsuit which barely contained her big boobs during a concert in Taiwanese capital Taipei this week. Luckily for Janet her sizeable assets remained under wraps this time – just.

JANET JACKSON NEARLY BOOBS AGAIN ON STAGE IN TAIWAN 



Janet Jackson gives fans an eye - popping display in her stage show - seven years after she boobed with Justin Timberlake at the Super Bowl. The 44 - year - old was in fine form in Taiwan as part of her Number Ones : Up Close And Personal tour that is taking in 35 cities across the world. But she threatened to burst out of her skintight silver spacesuit stage outfit, as she did in 2004 when she caused outrage by exposing a breast on live TV. An onlooker said: " Janet could hardly contain herself. "

JANET JACKSON BUSTS SOME MOVES


SINGER JANET JACKSON bursts on to stage at a gig - and almost pops out of her sexy catsuit.

The busty singer, who famously flashed a boob at a performance in 2004, wore the daring low - cut leather catsuit at a concert in the Taiwanese capital Taipei. MICHAEL JACKSON's sister, 44 ( and also 36D - 24 - 36 ), performed an energetic routine and kept herself just about covered up.

JANET JACKSON´S TIGHT RUBBER CATSUIT SCREAMS WARDROBE MALFUNCTION


While Rihanna is making headlines in North America with her sexy and almost naked outfits, Janet Jackson is getting all the attention in Asia with her tight rubber catsuit outfit. The 44 - year - old singer performed with erotically clad dancers in Taiwan last friday wearing a catsuit that brings back memories of her wardrobe malfunction in 2004. Luckily, the singer finished her Number Ones world tour set without nipple reveal. Rihanna should take style lessons from Janet. Being sexy onstage doesn't mean you need to be almost naked.

Janet Jackson narrowly avoids ANOTHER wardrobe malfunction in incredibly tight rubber catsuit

SILIKON GAU : JANETS XXL - DEKOLLETE DROHTE ZU PLATZEN 
 



Janet Jackson machte im Jahr 2004 auf sich aufmerksam, als sie damals beim Super Bowl ihren Busen blitzen ließ. Nun passierte ihr fast wieder ein ähnliches Missgeschick. Bei einem Auftritt wurden ihre Silikon - Brüste dermaßen gequetscht, dass das Dekolleté drohte zu platzen.

Letztendlich hatte sie aber noch einmal Glück. Beide Brüste blieben gut verpackt.


edit : Janet´s breasts are 100 percent silicone free. Reporters can´t believe a 44 year old has such great breasts without plastic surgery.

JANET JACKSONS DEKOLLETE PLATZT AUS ALLEN NÄHTEN

Science - Fiction - Outfit mit Mörder - Dekolletee: Bei diesem Anblick hätte sogar der sonst so taffe Captain Future Reißaus genommen!


Bei ihrem Konzert im taiwanesischen Taipeh sorgte sexy Janet Jacksons Push - up - Style für Bedrohungskulisse ohne Ende. Vor lauter Überdruck drohte ihr pralles Dekolletee regelrecht zu explodieren und die Sängerin samt Saal - Publikum mir nichts, dir nichts in den Orbit zu sprengen.

Als hätte ihr Busenblitzer bei ihrem Auftritt vor 90 Millionen Zuschauern des Super Bowls 2004 nicht gereicht, erinnerte Jackson bei ihrem Taipeh - Konzert an eben diesen. Froh konnten die Zuschauer da nur sein, dass diesmal kein Justin Timberlake mit auf der Bühne stand, der der 44 - Jährigen noch den letzten Textilfetzen von der wogenden Brust reißt.


Ziemlich gewagt : Janet Jackson presst sich in " Astronauten " - Outfit

Jetzt wird es eng - Quetsch - Busen - Alarm auf dem roten Teppich

But there are also people like Ryan Creed on BUZZFEED who proclaims that The World Needs Janet Jackson´s Boobs Now More Than Ever ! , Taylor Harvey also misses Janet Jackson and lists 15 Iconic Moments That Janet Jackson Fans Will Never Get Over and Aylin Zafar tells you why Jane Jackson Has The Best Music Videos In The History Of Music Videos


The video section in last years Janet Jackson birthday post was all about sex symbol Janet Jackson so if you want to see all the clips of Janet´s appearance on the german late night show ANKE hosted by Anke Engelke and the likes just click the link for the old post. Daimn, Miss Janet !


ANKE was a late night show that has been cancelled since I first wrote this - as most late night shows don´t work in Germany if they just copy the american originals. The host was actress Anke Engelke who I am told is somewhat of a comedian. The fact she had a show called LADYKRACHER seems to support that theory but I have watched a few episodes and I´m still waiting for something that´s remotely funny. It´s not that I don´t believe in women who can be funny but I never understood the big hype about Anke since she is not nearly as funny as Lisa Fitz or Sissy Perlinger.

Anyway, her abilities as a comedian notwithstanding I thought she did a very good job of interviewing Janet Jackson, so for that DANKE, ANKE !


Some people ask me : Subzero, why you always do dem birthdays ? Well, on one side I can´t always include all people who have a birthday but sometimes it´s hard to find videos that fit the theme of the post. And in those cases the birthdays can be a nice way to reduce the bookmarked videos. Not that it helps with Megan Fox who is the youngest with 30.


I´ve seen her on Two And A Half Men, Transformers and Jonah Hex but none of these were really good so I avoided Jennifer´s Body and Michael Bay´s Turtles. Maybe she´ll be in a good movie somewhere in her career.

Next up is Tori Spelling who turns 43. As baffling as it may seem I actually wrote about her - okay, mostly about her sexy dance in a hooker outfit on Beverly Hills 90210 - in a birthday post about Tiffani Amber Thiessen.


If you can call her wild fertility inducing movements dancing. She really was just shaking her big boobs in the general direction of the camera. But that she did very effectively. I never was a big Tori Spelling fan but in that scene she really squeezed her breast into a tight leather top and just pushed them straight in your face. Now that´s what I call entertainment.

What I find a bit strange is how did such a scene get approved when her father was producing this ? Should I be concerned that Daddy dearest put it in the script or does this say more about his employees. Maybe some disgruntled writers just decided to put his boss´ daughter into a hooker outfit and let her dance for him as payback for sleeping with his wife.

" Okay, Tori, do you think you can move more like a prostitute ? And we need to make the outfit sluttier. This is supposed to be a rock video. " 


I started watching Beverly Hills 90210 on the basis of Tori´s growing boobs which was a product of her Dad´s financed surgery and Tiffani Amber Theissen´s exploding chest which was a product of nature. It helped a lot that Tiffany was often in bikinis or leather hooker outfits.

Those directors got it made, they just go " Okay guys, in the next four episodes Tiffani dresses up as a prostitute. And she has to do at least one striptease and two nude sex scenes in each episode. Which is really necessary for her character. Oh yeah, and send her to my trailer for .... extreme rehearsal. We have to go over the scene ... orally. " Those horny perverts are to thank for that Tiffani was so often in bikinis on that show.


Speaking about hookers, besides appearing on Beverly Hills 90210 Tiffani also was on Saved by the Bell with Elizabeth Berkley who revealed her real stripper nature in Showgirls. The movie was called a flop when it first come out but in the meantime it has become a cult classic mainly based on Elizabeth´s stripper moves which left me no other chance than cast her as one of my alternate choices for the Nympho Supergirl from Earth XXX in my second alternatives post for casting the Justice League movie .

She would get a different origin in which her rocket was bombarded by the radiation of pink kryptonite which turns all female kryptonians into super horny blow up sex dolls. Because of the long exposure to the pink kryptonite the effects would be permanent ( instead of only temporary like usual ) and Nympho Supergirl would have different powers like sex strength, peep vision, erection vision, perv hearing, orgasmic flight, ovaric speed, tantra healing, kama sutra flexibility, olympic stamina, multiple position memory, fellatio breath and deepthroat breath. I would say she also has the power to give all men giant erections making their pulsating dicks hard enough to cut diamonds as soon as they look at her but with Miss Berkeley´s super sexy stripper moves that´s a given.


But sexbomb Elisabeth not only can lick the chrome off your steelhard pole she also has the all important " pumping pelvic thrust " move down to pat. I bet that comes in handy with that portable casting couch she allegedly has and I would not mind being at the receiving end of that a few hours. 


After this little sexbomb trifecta tangent we get back to the birthdays with David Boreanaz who nears the big five o with 47 years.  He is best known as FBI Agent Seeley Booth from Bones but he started his career on Buffy and later the spin off Angel together with Charisma Carpenter who also was on Veronica Mars. I have three seasons of Angel on my to watch pile and with any luck I can get the others before I start so I can binge watch them all. One day when I can find them on amazon I´m even going to watch the first season of Veronica Mars to find out how it all started.


Besides Veronica Mars Charisma Carpenter was also in episode 11 of season 5 of Burn Notice where she showed that she still has the goods.


This month I got some tv shows as a Mother´s Day present among them the first season of Burn Notice because I didn´t want to wait any longer. So far only the first three seasons are available in Germany while in the United States the series is already finished - with season seven I think.

Debra Winger turns 61, she´s best known for such movies like An Officer And Gentleman and Legal Eagles but she also played Wonder Girl on the 70s tv show Wonder Woman although I don´t think she looks back fondly on that role. Although to be fair she owes her employment to an error since Wonder Woman really never had a sister in the comics. I´ll have to rewatch those episodes now that I know that Yvonne De Carlo from The Addams Family played Wonder Woman´s mother Queen Hippolyta.


I guess this video comes a bit late since Brian Azzarello and Cliff Chiang have already wrapped up their run for quite some time now but I don´t get to write about Wonder Woman that often. At the moment I´m just glad that cliff Chiang´s PAPER GIRLS is finally available in trade form.



Pierce Brosnan has completed his 63rd year and not only was he the best James Bond after Sean Connery he also had one of the best Bond girls.


Halle Berry is in my regular JLA casting posts as well as in my alternatives since it would be a dream come true to direct her. Of course I would insist on personally rehearsing all the explicit sex scenes for hours after the rest of the crew has left the set - for the whole weekend. A very long weekend


Among my pile of unwatched movies is Dorothy Dandridge, who was a big inspiration for Halle Berry and here is a docu about her life that I found.



Move bad guy / anti hero Danny Trejo can look back on 72 years which started with the Andy Sidaris movie Guns among his earliest work.


Next we have a sad anniversary. Yvonne Craig would have been a bit older than Danny, 79 years if she hadn´t passed away last year. She was quite the looker and a big part of why the Batman tv show was so successful.


This is the last of the many films you can find on YouTube about the way from the comic books to the screen that I haven´t already posted.



Instead of a real cartoon video here´s another one that tests the knowledge of today´s teens. I could watch these for hours.



We can´t have a Janet Jackson post without at least one Janet Jackson video so the music video is one that´s really hard to find : Janet´s performance of Black Cat on the vma´s where she took off her shirt.


Janet has some crazy moves and I added the GIF because I don´t expect the video to last long. I have a backup but we´ll see which one goes. 



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
 

1 comment:

Ja D said...

Oh, Charisma Carpenter. I bought a copy of playboy many years ago just for her. Its a shame her career seems to have dropped off.