TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: He said Captain Marvel I said wot d'ya want

Just when I have decided to make no new posts and concentrate my energies on finishing up the ones I have started the part about Captain Marvel or better Miss Marvel Carol Danvers and Brie Larson's rack attack guest hosting The Jimmy Kimmel Show in the bonus section of my very first DAZZLER spotlight ( and hopefully not the last ) gets longer and longer. And since I found a lot of original art from the OG MISS MARVEL series I had no other choice that to put it into its own post while I can.

Regular post visitors know how my posts usually work : I have something to talk about, I have chosen some art for the post, I then add my usual eclectic mix of anecdotes, facts, brief history lessons, my own opinions etc. in the introduction then we get to the original comicbook art and then there is the bonus section which includes more links, pictures, videos and even the kitchen sink. Like I said this is how it usually works.

But since this post started off in the bonus section of another post the stuff that is normally part of the introduction comes AFTER the art in this post. So with that said let's get into media res but not without adding that even though this started as part of the bonus section this doesn't mean that the art in this post is inferior. I would have posted it anyway but this way my readers just get to enjoy it sooner than planned.

As my faithful followers know I have a soft spot for underappreciated or forgotten comicbook characters and I have the feeling that with all the hullabaloo about Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel who is so important the original Carol Danvers / Miss Marvel gets the short end of the stick.

So to remind people out there that she used to be a cool character and not a total rhymes with witch like in the MCU movies let's take another trip in the way - back machine to the good old Bronze Age of comics.

show me the mooney

captain stuff

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Now when I first came upon the following videos I thought they were from a time when people would be actually excited to see Brie Larson play a Marvel character like the Dazzler but no, after watching the first video I realized that this was AFTER she had appeared in Captain Marvel and in Avengers : Endgame and this was Disney's way of damage control.

Reading all the news about how Disney makes one big box office flop after another you might get the impression they are not aware why they fail but there seem to be short moments where they realize something is wrong and try to fix it. Of course we are not talking about drastic things like writing a script that is actually good, fleshing out the characters and give them an important story arc - as we could see with The Marvels.

It seems in this case somebody said " Brie,honey, we have to change the way we present you to the audience or you won't have a movie career anymore. " and Brie went " I'm up for anything. What do you have in mind ? " and then the other person went " Well, I don't know if you can follow me but the other day I was reading some of the comments on the internet and it seems there are people out there who think you are hot.

And somebody told me that people - especially guys - like boobs, you know, but not only do they like boobs they also turn into drooling idiots when they see them and it shuts down their higher brain functions. "

And then Brie goes " Okay, but what does that have to do with me ? " to which the other person replied " Well, I don't know if you have noticed but you do have a pretty impressive pair of puppies so I thought we could just have you guest hosting some show - like the Jimmy Kimmel Show - and we put you in a dress with a cleavage down to your whazoo and you make sure to shake those big moneymakers into the camera.

And if you play your cards right everybody will be so mesmerized by your huge hooters that they will forget about your awful acting in the Marvel movies and automatically start to like you again. " and then Brie went " Do you really think it will work ? Men can't be that easy. " and the other person said " Believe me. They are and this will definitely work. "

And that's how Brie Larson - and her bonerinducing porn cleavage - guest hosting The Jimmy Kimmel Show came about. And Jimmy Kimmel also seems like the kind of guy to pull such a cheap publicity stunt. Or not.

Who knows how much Disney paid him ? Now I am not saying that Jimmy Fallon would not have done the same. As it is we will never know. But I always had the impression that Jimmy Fallon at least is genuinely happy for his guests while with Jimmy Kimmel I always felt there is something sinister behind his eyes like he is envious of the success of his guests.

In any case, you can't deny that Brie Larson does have a pornstar body and yep, those are some real all natural 38Fs guns she is sporting here.

Looking for the next Brie clip I came across a lot of videos about why everybody hates Brie Larson but there was one in particular where they are interviewing her, Don Cheadle and Chris Hemsworth ( you know the one I am talking about ) where it seems like Brie is living in her own world and suffers from the illusion that her character is stronger than the mighty Thor. Maybe it's just me but I always had the impression that Chris had a private discussion with her about who really is the strongest Marvel character at the hotel afterwards. In the bedroom. Where he slambanged her until she begged for mercy. Because if there is one thing you can say about Brie it's that she is absolutely doable which makes the thing even sadder. She could have done so much with that pornstar rack.

Now the question that is on everybody's mind is where the heck where those giant gazongas during Captain Marvel ? Because you know that if they had gone with a more 70s costume - which had an exposed midriff section - Brie's bouncing boobies could if not save the movie ( even her fantastic funbags don't have that much pornographic power ) then at least make sitting through the movie less of a mindnumbing torture.

One of the biggest problems with Captain Marvel - besides the costume and another female Marvel character trying to usurp the identity of a male hero - is that Captain Marvel or better said Miss Marvel has always been a character where even Marvel Comics doesn't know what to do with her. She doesn't have any memorable runs and they are constantly trying to update and upgrade her without knowing who she is or why readers should care for her. And it's not like she didn't have writers or artists of some renown working on her title. But it just never works out.

Some of the comicbook afficionados reading this blog may remember that during the House Of M event Miss Marvel was one of the biggest and most beloved super heroines in the alternate 616 Marvel universe. And after things returned to normal Carol Danvers retained that knowledge and tried to get to that position in the real world but Marvel had no idea how to get there. At that time my younger brother was reading the MISS MARVEL series and as we tended to do I read his issues and vice versa so we could read more comicbooks with the same budget. And the issues were entertaining but nothing that I was getting overly excited about.

And it has been the same thing with Marvel Comics giving Carol Danvers the name of Captain Marvel and trying to make her a more important character. Because their biggest mistake is telling us she is the biggest and most important super heroine in the Marvel universe - instead of showing it. Comicbooks are a visual medium and while a lot of people will tell you that the story is more important than the art there is also some truth to the fact that in comicbooks you should never tell the readers things that are much easier to show through the art. I mean, Spider - Man is still the most beloved character in the Marvel universe.

Not the most important one, that is Captain America ( and you can read my reasons for that in this post and the german version of it ) but the most beloved . Because he is - or at least was when I was still reading Marvel comics - the greatest, just ask anyone. But he is not that popular because they tell you but because he has great stories with great art .

There are countless debates about what are the best runs of the various SPIDER - MAN titles or which are the top ten Spider - Man stories of all time because there are so many wonderful adventures to choose from .

With Miss Marvel on the other hand there are not that many interesting stories and even less really great ones. And it's not like she hasn't gone through weird stuff. I mean, when she was a member of the Avengers they let her son who impregnated her so she give birth to him take her to another dimension where he could use her like his blow up sex doll.

After he mindwiped her ( which is a story nobody wants to take credit for not even the people who wrote it ). Then when she was part of the X - Men's STAR JAMMERS the brood used her for sex - periments which did involved more tentacles than you can throw an Otaku at ( which makes even fans of Urotsukidoji II - Legend Of The Demon Womb feel weird ) that led to Carol becoming even more powerful in her Binary persona.

Now the process which gave her the new powers didn't wipe her mind but it made her emotionally disconnected from her history. So when she encountered another version of her son in the KANG DYNASTY story ( whom Kang apparently cloned by the dozen so he could discard any of them who met his disapproval ) who wanted to dicktame her because he was attracted for some reason she still recalled their fuck marathons in another dimension but at least the trauma didn't bother her anymore.

And I am not even mentioning when Carol Danvers took on the name Warbird and was court - martialled because of her drinking that had a negative effect on her effectiveness during the missions which led to her quitting the team which in turn made her cause a plane accident. After that her character was defined by her alcohol problems for decades. So yes, turning all that into Marvel Comics greatest super heroine is what I call a real challenge. Not that Marvel Comics accepted this challenge.

Instead they tried to cram her down the readers throats by going on and on how great she is while - at least that is what it seems from what I have read on the internet - she has turned into a more evil characters than the worst super villains but hey, she is a woman so according to the SJWs she can't be bad and that is just how all those stupid men see her.

For whom this character was not invented anyway. Which brings us to our next Brie Larson clip. Yes, this is her infamous speech where she basically destroys her career by explaining that some movies are not for straight white males and if they don't like them there must be something wrong with them not the movie. Now instead of just writing about it I wanted to include the full speech so you can make up your own mind.

One tip though, if you manage to watch the entire thing try to watch it again without the sound and focus on her boobs which she has squeezed very tightly into this corsage and which are just a few seconds away from busting out. And then tell me the second time wasn't more fun.

Now I don't want to analyse this clip to death but for me the first thing where Brie Larson makes an error of biblical proportions is to assume that an audience can fail. An audience can never fail. Because it is not the audiences job to make sure a movie works. That is the directors job.

He decides how much information the audience gets and he has to guide the viewer through the movie, even going so far as to take them by the hand and walk them through it if necessary for the movie to work. So if a movie " fails " it is always the directors fault and not the audiences. Now don't get me wrong. There are many movies that the audience didn't get for a long time. But those are not cases of movies failing but of movies not gaining financial success. Which are two completely different things.

The other wrong assumption Brie makes here is that certain movies are made just for certain people and so therefore they are the only ones who can identify with the main characters and the only ones who can properly judge them. It is the school of SJW brainwashing according to which people can only identify with people who are the same as them and that is why we need more representation and diversity in movies.

It is the same argument that states that LEAVE IT TO CHANCE can not be one of my favourite comicbooks. Because I can only identify with white, heterosexual males who have spanish ancestors who had to move to Germany to find work, in their late 50s, with two destroyed knees, a broken shoulder, failing eyesight, flat feet, overweight, short and bad smelling, old perverts forced to leave their home countries leaving all of their belongings behind to go into an exile in a world they never made.

So there is no way that I could like a comicbook about a girl ( of all things ) whose father is the mystical protector of a town overrun by monsters and creatures who is all fired up to follow in his footsteps and who has her spirit crushed when he refuses to let her take up the mantle at the appointed time just because she is a girl ( since his vocation as the mystical protector of the city has claimed the life of his wife and he can't stand the thought of loosing his daughter too although our heroine does not appreciate it ) which sends her on a path to get involved in all kind of mystical misadventures just trying to get her Daddy's approval.

It could not be that I like the book because Chance Falconer is a fleshed out ( and I don't mean that in a creepy way although I did write about how Hollywood would turn the comic into an xxx - rated adult romp where she had to go up against japanese tentacle monsters ) character with strengths and flaws that goes on a hero's journey to become all she can be. It's not like everybody has Daddy issues or knows the feeling of never being good enough in your father's eyes. Of never getting that approval you crave so desperately. Be it in your personal life or at your job or anywhere where you have been told you are not good enough or what's even worse you are not allowed to do certain things because of your gender, nationality, religion, ethnicity or the colour of your skin.

Which I learned in Realschule is a crook because colours don't really exist. If you want to get scientific colours are something humans perceive because of the way their bodies work. Things don't have colours. We only think they have because we see them with our eyes.

Which function in a way where certain objects reflect or absorb certain parts of the colour spectrum so that to our mind they appear to be red or blue or yellow or black or white when in reality they have no colour at all. Colour is just an illusion our mind creates for us to cope with our environment. If we would see in the infrared spectrum instead of black or white or yellow people would seem to be red or blue or green. Or if we would see like dogs everything would be in black and white. So the whole skin colour thing ? A rigged game that we should have abandoned ages ago. I mean this is the 21 century for Christ. Time to get over it.

Man, this rant has gone on too long but I have to address the whole issue about the disproportionate discrepancy between male and female movie critics. First of all the LGTBLMAA community only makes up 9 percent of the whole world population but 99 percent of all super persons at Marvel Comics and DC Comics. So you are a fine one to talk about these things.

Second, I don't know how it is in Amerika but in Germany movie critics are not sponsored by the state. It is a job that you have to decide to take and while you don't need any real expertise for it it is often a thankless job so not a lot of people want to do it to begin with. Which may be one of the reasons why there are more men than woman critics.

Maybe women just don't want to do the dirty work. Or at least not as many women as men. Also movie companies don't decide who gets to review their movies and even if they did limiting the number of male critics who are allowed to review their movie would also be against the constitution because every movie critic has to be treated the same no matter which gender they have. Last but not least it sounds like a good idea to make it easier for women to become movie critics or to get more evenly matched critics to review movies but then this has to be done for all movies not only those that cater to women. At the end of the day it looks like men doing the work while women have to get off their butts.

And another sign of the intellectual bankruptcy of the big comicbook companies like DC Comics or Marvel Comics is that comic creators like Geoff Johns, Brad Meltzer, Brian Hitch and Gary Frank are forming their own creator - owned comicbook publishing company GHOST MACHINE .

captain links

Now I don't want to resort to old stereotypes about women and motor vehicles but our friend Brian Cronin over at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES has listed five examples of Miss Marvel - that is Carol Danvers before Disney decided to stick the character with the CAPTAIN MARVEL moniker out of copyright reasons ( they sold it to the public as an empowerment move to get her out of the shadow of the Kree - born warrior Captain Mar - Vell even though they never knew what to do with her since she has always been a female carbon copy of the original Captain Marvel since her inception which in turn only came about to prevent DC Comics from using the name in their comics much like Marvel Comics Wonder Man was their answer to DC Comics Wonder Woman ) - having troubles with cars either in her civilian identity or as a superheroine in the newest instalment of his series Drawing Crazy Patterns. And it's not only cars being in the way or such stuff but being outright attacked by flying cars.

Speaking of butts, is it just me or does penciller Jim Mooney put an overproportionate emphasis on Miss Marvel's bum ? Although it shouldn't surprise anybody with a name like Moon - ey. After all nomen est omen.

captain videos

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haley

GLORY, GLORY, HALEY - LUYAH or IF ONLY RUSS MEYER WAS ALIVE !

From ultimate killing machines from the future we come to the React channels resident ultimate sex machine Haley which is the one every red blooded male dreams of going up against in a " last horsecock squirting " deepthroat marathon. It has been a hot minute since I did a feature on her in my Gambit spotlight post ( and the follow up in my second post about the breath taking covers for DYLAN DOG ) where I was blown away because I hadn't realized what a huge set of melons Haley had developed . I was all like : " Daaaaiiiimn, when did Haley get a visit from the boob fairy ? Because these are some massive Russ Meyer sized melons. Did she have them done for a starring role in a porn movie ( one can only hope ) ? " Those are some impressive talents she displays. Also the preview picture doesn't help because she looks like the newest blow up sex doll.

Which now that I think about it would be a great idea for a prank style of video with Busenwunder Haley. They would tell Haley that they would pretend she is a new kind of deluxe blow up sex doll and bring her to various clients and then they would be completely surprised when she starts to talk and that they would all jump out and do the big reveal.

Of course Haley would protest and claim that she looks nothing like a blow up sex doll - which is what all women say even if they do - but it would be the producer's job to convince her. And they could even say that the newer blow up sex dolls look more life like than previous ones.

Now the catch here would be that they would also prank Haley because they would tell her" customers " ( Which could be her fellow male co - reactors but I still have not decided. Because some of them could be reluctant to use their friend as a sex toy although most of them have probably dreamed about doing this ever since her twin torpedoes grew to such titanic proportions. ) that she is a new kind of interactive sex doll and they bring her to the best customers to work out a few kinks.

This is the new super deluxe model nicknamed" Dolly Part Em "for the most intense extreme sexual intercourse experience with extra large XXL sized breasts which has gotten great responses from the clients but that there were some incidents where the interface has malfunctioned and the doll has started to believe that she is not a sexbot but a real person who has tried to convince the customers to stop using and abusing her.

And that if it tries to tell them that she is not the ultimate men milking machine that they just have to ignore that and keep on banging her processors out that the system will re - adjust to its normal setting after they have cum inside her a few times. You see where I'm coming from ?

Anyway, we have the unsuspecting Haley doing her best impression of the ultimate living blow up sex doll ( not that she needs to strain herself much in that department because she looks the part without trying ) all excited about the big reveal who gets more and more stressed when the guys keep pounding her holes harder and harder with rising enthusiasm.

And we would have the lucky stiffs who were selected to participate in this scam who get to vent all of their sexual frustrations on a living blow up sex doll with a clean conscience thinking she is just a love machine.

The producers would tell wet sex dream Haley that it is a TRY NOT TO BREAK CHARACTER challenge to get her to go along to have sex many positions in with the horny perverts as long as possible when it's really a TRY NOT TO PASS OUT WHILE BEING SLAM - FUCKED challenge for Haley.

And they would tell the male participants that it's a TRY NOT TO TRY THE NEWEST SEX DOLLS video when in reality it is a TRY NOT TO BREAK A BIG BREASTED SEXBOMB WHILE DICKTAMING HER challenge. It goes without saying that in any scenario the guys win and Haley is bound to loose.

After the guys have used Haley for a few days drilling every orifice of her bonerinducing pornbody with their gigantic members squirting until they can't get it up anymore the producers would come to take Haley back and they would act all surprised because the skit did not go as intended.

Even though it did go as planned but of course they could not tell her.

I don't know if they should reveal to the participants at the end that it was a real person - maybe they could say that there was an unfortunate mix up and instead of the new sex doll model they got a visit from one of the females engineers who was a former pornstar and based the look of the sex dolls on herself - because then the guys would feel awful or if they should do something different like arrange for a " chance " meeting between Haley and the guys to see the sheer shock on their faces when they see that there are real women looking like that in the real world.

We could also try and convince nubian sex goddess Jair and fillipino hooker - in - training Jayka to partake in the social experiment so that Haley does not get suspicious that she is the only one who does it and it would be even convincing because some prefer black or asian sexbots.

Now I went back to find out how on earth an old breast fixated pervert like me could have missed Haley's huge hooters and first of all there are a lot of videos I missed and there were a lot of videos where she was hiding her giant - sized woman - things under a thick shirt or sweater.

Which was probably for the benefit of her male colleagues and I have to give props to the guys ( at the same time I am giving Haley a standing ovation ) for being able to keep it together when they are in an episode with Haley. Because I could not sit at the same table as such an ultimate sex goddess without spending the entire episode drooling all over her oversized oppai - even if she would let me play with her titanic twin torpedoes for a few hours before the shooting starts to calm me down.

They still must be fully erect throughout the entirety of the episode and you know that if they don't outright drag Haley to the nearest corner to vent the accumulated sexual energy their girlfriends have to bear the brunt of it. I mean, Haley is like natural viagra at this point and since it has been a while since she presented her new and improved hooters all the other girls like my future wife Jair or phillipino prostitute in training Jayka must already know what's up when their guys film an episode with Hailey. Which means they are probably doing a few hours of stretching with a special emphasis on doing the splits like a stripper in advance so they can maybe survive the coming sexual onslaught in the bedroom.

And I am not saying that Jair and Jayka are not ultimate sex machines who are experts at milking huge horsecocks until the last drop. They say black don't crack but Jayka is also especially gifted when it comes to draining giant monstercocks since it is common knowledge that all asian girls are natural born blow up sex dolls and no woman can hold a candle to them asian bitches who can suck a bowling ball through a waterhose and there simply is no competition when it comes to deepthroating. Like the old chinese proverb says : " Life does suck but asian girls swallow. ".

But even sexual pocket rocket ( here good things really do come in small packages, boy ) Jayka is no match for the boys since a dick that has been aroused by Hailey's humongous double airbags for a few hours stays erect for days no matter how many times you make it squirt and you know that Jayka and Jair's boyfriend will be drilling their pornstar bodies without mercy like they owed them money, almost pounding them into a coma.

Which is why the producers always make sure to tape the episodes with Haley on Thursday or at least on Friday so that the boys have the entire weekend to vent the pent up sexual energy in a nonstop penetration marathon during which they slam - fuck Jair and Jayka's brains out six ways to Sunday without mercy like two crazy breeding stallions on crack.

Well, Haley has been paired up with Jaxon a few times and there seems to be good chemistry there ( no wonder with such a captivating view ) but even he couldn't help getting a good eyeful of her massive money makers and she probably wouldn't be adverse to teach him the joys of sex with a big breasted woman since it seems that every female person out there wants to dicktame Jaxon in the worst way. At least that is what it looks like in the comments. And you know that if Haley ever really used Jaxon as her new boytoy she would totally destroy his dick.

And he would probably enjoy every second of it because who wouldn't want to be the love slave of a big - breasted love machine like Haley ?

Now I have never made a secret that I am sexually obsessed with Power Girl. There are dozens of posts dedicated to DC´s Maid of the Mighty Mammaries and while I haven´t written one recently I started a new series about one of my favorite artists from my earliest comic reading days. And while the first post was all about Joe Staton´s contribution to the GREEN LANTERN ( or GRÜNE LEUCHTE how he was called in Germany and at that time I was reading mostly german comics ) my next ones were about his version of Power Girl - which I had to split into two posts, the intro and the main post - since Joe Staton not only drew all of the stories of Power Girl or the Justice Society of America but everything on Earth 2. For those who want to check it out I managed to do a follow - up post with a lot more Green Lantern art by Joe Staton just in 2020 .

Since then I have written two additional posts, my third Joe Stanton GREEN LANTERN post and one with all the original art that I could not include in the post but which is worth posting because it is from such comic legends like Mike Grell , Gil Kane , Brian Bolland or Dave Gibbons .

Last but not least definitely check out my post from 2021 about the best Green Lantern of all time, space and parallel universes : Guy Gardner.

I would say " to make a long story short " but I think it´s already too late for that. Anyway, on my old boob blog I had a series called SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL of which only a few select posts have found their way here.

Back then I started the series to prove not only that women with such big breasts like Power Girl ( at least when she is drawn right ) exist in the real world but that they are not so uncommon like feminists ( this was before SJWs ruled the earth ) would like you to believe. As longtime visitors are more than aware of Power Girl is my favorite female comic book character and not only because of her huge breasts ( although they don´t hurt either ) or her conveniently placed magical cleavage window.

She is also a non apologetic, pro active woman who is not only a female carbon copy of her male counterpart which is a nice change of pace.

It is also no big secret to anybody who has visited the blog more than a few times that I have a sexual obsession with women with big breasts - especially blondes - which is apparent not only because of the already mentioned posts from my SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL series but also from the countless posts on blonde cult sirens with massive melons or their features in the bonus sections of my posts like this blow up sex doll.

I admit it, a blonde men milking machine like Haley with her giant - sized woman things checks all of my boxes. I want to motorboat her huge gazongas for hours, I want Haley to massage my dick with her double airbags in the worst way, I want to ram the entire shaft of my hard cock down her throat and I want to spread her legs like a phillipino hooker and slam - fuck her brains out six ways to Sunday. And I want to dicktame her with my throbbing manhood and wear my dick out on her.

But that doesn't mean that I don't respect her as a person. Because one thing is my sexual obsession and another thing is that even if I want to do that it will probably never happen. And I don't have to tell you how infinitely slim the chances are that a poor wretch like me ever gets to take an absolute sex goddess like Haley to Poundtown. So this is more of a mental exercise and meant as a sign of endearment like my SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL posts which are my celebrations of the female body.

On the other side there are some things that I find really annoying and outright insulting to Haley and what I mean first and foremost are all those negative comments that can be found in the comment section of every video Haley appears in lately. And I am not talking about such comments like " Wow. Them boobies. ", " I love Haley's big - emoji for apples, melons or any other fruit - " or " Blond kitten has some juggs. "

Which are just rude. But it seems that kids nowadays are so used to not facing any consequences for anything they do online that they have no filter, just like Peter Griffin from Family Guy. I always thought the guy who thought him up must be a really disturbed individual but I started to pity Seth McFarlane when he commented in an interview that he never has to invent any material for that character because he went to college with a dozen of Peter Griffin's who have no filter and just said whatever came to mind. Apparently the same is true for commenters on YouTube.

So yes, that is annoying because there should be a difference between what you think and what you write in a comment section but that is just the internet. What I find more disrespecting are two kind of comments, the first one about " Haley needs to put some clothes on. " which now and then are made by men ( I guess either gay men or men who have a phobia of big breasts ) but mostly come from women who have no problem body shaming other women whenever their wardrobe or body type does not align with their own preferences although I suspect that it is the female equivalent of penis envy. Like the saying goes the envy of those who have not. And quite often they add that Haley parading her bigger breasts gives them " cringe " and " second hand embarrassment ".

What is even worse are the comments that " they liked her better before she had her breast augmentation " which is really a slap in the face. As any comicbook fan knows there are always those fans who will say about a certain artist that " they liked their older stuff better ". Which can be a legitimate point because different people like different things and it is just natural that something as distinctive as a style changes over time.

So when you grow accustomed to a certain style that is what you want and you may not like it when suddenly everything looks different. And that is okay. But as any artist can tell you it is impossible to go back to a style that you used ten or twenty years ago. You may try to copy it and you will succeed to a certain extent but it will not look the same. But this weird comment of " I liked your older stuff better. " has become so commonplace that I sometimes use it myself when I get sketches from artists ( which hasn't happened since the pandemic ) because of the look I get when the " older stuff " I mention is the work they did one or two years ago that looks basically the same. What I want to illustrate with that rant is that you can't go back to the way things were. Not with the style in which you draw and most definitely not with the way you look.

More than disrespectful it is insulting because it implies that another person is more qualified to decide how you should look than yourself. On top of that it is automatically implied Haley had some plastic surgery.

Which could be the easiest explanation but not the only one. There are plenty of reasons why women suddenly develop bigger breasts and I remember that 41E ( !!! ) - 26 - 38 Playmate Of The Month Of May in 1993 and Playmate Of The Year in 1994 Busenwunder Anna Nicole Smith never had particularly big breasts until she got pregnant and then it was like " Bang ! " her body tried to catch up and they didn't stop growing until they had become the size of two huge melons. So Haley just may have been pregnant and her body underwent some changes after that.

But even if there is no other explanation and Haley really had a breast augmentation that was her own decision and people should accept that since it is her own body we are talking about. Who has read my blog over a longer period of time knows that I have always said that ultimately it is everyone's own decision if they want to have plastic surgery and if they feel they are happier with bigger breasts more power to them. And not only because I'm an old horny perv who prefers women with huge racks.

I don't know how often I have written about ultimate sexbombs like the hasian star of my wet sex dreams 44D - 25 - 35 cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya Han who gave herself giant - sized porn implants or amazing ASMR Amy who supersized her funbags to a 36F cupsize and I have always said that it should be their own choice if they want bigger boobs and other people should respect that ( even though it is a crime against humanity that Yaya Han hides her giant gazongas under so much fabric instead of using them to the benefit of mankind worldwide to make porn movies ).

The same goes for what kind of clothes they wear - be it in videos online or in public - or how much of their body they show. I get that when your own body is inadequate compared to such a banging hardbody like Haley or you were raised with a really strict set of moral values this can make you uncomfortable. But thinking that you can dictate how people should behave, think, look or dress that is how the Nazi regime started. And I can say that because I was born in Germany and lived there for over 50 years. So nobody has to educate me about Nazis. Thank you very much.

You know, now that I am looking at these pictures again I realize that the current reigning boob queen of " Tits React " Busenwunder Hailey would be a perfect match for Elisa Bett's roommate since she not only has the gigantic tits to fill out Power Girl's boob window without breaking a sweat but has become what can only be described as " Russ Meyer's wet sex dream ". Man, all the things I would do with living blow up sex doll Haley and ultimate men milking machine Jair if I was 20 years younger.

In my latest Jair spotlights I have done the obligatory comicbook casting where I put Jair into the role of Vicky Spritzfest ( which would be either Victoria Squirthard or Victoria Squirtproof in the english translation ) the Busenwunder reporter with legs for miles almost up to her chin for the channel NOTZUCHT TV who would have been introduced in the third issue of my - at this point - discontinued adult comicbook series called VERSAUTE BETTGESCHICHTEN even if Jair's boobs are bigger than Vicky's.

Vicky - who is constantly getting into situations where she ends up naked and is more often than not used like a cheap blow up sex doll by many guys on camera ( which explains her extremely high ratings amongst the male audience ) when she is not sexually assaulted by all her perverted colleagues - gets into all kind of shenanigans and ends up competing in a wet - t - shirt contest ( after her camera guy paid two drunk college students to splash her with water and then rip off her t - shirt during a live broadcast ) with the stipulation that she will do a photoshooting for PLAYBOY magazine if she ends up winning or is amongst the five finalists.

There are also five prices the tv station offered as incentives for the viewers to vote for Victoria - which range from a body painting class where the lucky winner gets to apply the paint with his hands ( or any other body part he chooses ) to re - enact afro - american 40E - 25 - 37 sex machine Halle Berry's famous sex scene from the Oscar winning " Monster's Ball " ( only in this version he is joined by the director and the tv station boss to turn it into a triple pussy penetration orgy ) to an all expenses paid weekend at a the honeymoon suite of a five star hotel with Victoria decked out in the tiniest lingerie from the - appropriate - Victoria's Secret catalogue, handcuffed, gagged and tied to the bed.

Anyway, I thought that nubian Busenwunder Jair with her huge chocolate melons would be a good fit for the role but as always the most obvious choice didn't occur to me which is the star of the series nymphomanic exhibitionist Elisa Bett ( not sure if I will call her Elisa Bed or Elisa Bad in the english version ) a. k. a. Halle Berry of Stuttgart whom I based - at least her physical aspect - on a certain sex goddess I will not name.

Originally she was my template for Elisa Bett because that way I could make my wet sex phantasies kind of real but I have to admit that Jair would also be a good fit since she was born for porn. Even if I never get to make the xxx - rated movie version of VERSAUTE BETTGESCHICHTEN.

Speaking of which what I could change would be that instead of her buxom roommate being the completely fictive 44D - 25 - 35 cosplay blow up sex doll Jaja Han ( TM and copyright Kerosin Comics and all affiliated companies ) who should not be confused with the real and non fictive ( at least I hope that she isn't ) 44D - 25 - 35 cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya Han it would be Bailey who looks like Haley's big breasted younger twin.

With that said there are five scenes from the comics ( some from the issues that have come out and some from the issues that were planned but haven't come out yet ) that I would definitely have to put into the movies especially if I could only find somebody who could believably portray the completely fictive wet sex dream Bailey Busenwunder ( hint, hint ). Now the first one is of course the scene where Jaja Han - Bailey now - is doing a pole dance wearing the same outfit as Akira Lane in the picture below which so far has only been included in the bonus section.

There were plans to get a variant cover done by a german artist well known for his erotic comics that I had contacts to but for reasons outside of both of our control that never materialized. In any case the story here would be that an always horny comicbook artist ( which is in no way a self insert for yours truly ) persuades Bailey to pole dance for charity and as a responsible guy I have to .... I mean this guy has to pull down Bailey's slip to make sure nobody gets to see her private parts when she is using her natural ability to spread her legs like a phillipino prostitute.

The second one is the scene in which the comicbook artist convinces a slightly inebriated Bailey to do a fertility dance wearing only Power Babe's ( TM and copyright Kerosin Comics ) grass skirt - which keeps sliding down - and coconut bra from the JUST TITS LEAGUE OF AMERICA ( TM and copyright Kerosin Comics ). Without the coconut bra of course.

Number three would be the opening scenes of the second issue where our clever comicbook artist manages to tie up Bailey who is dressed up as Power Babe and rip off most of her costume as inspiration for his next story. But once he gets an eyeful of her spread long legs and her sweaty private parts he gets carried away and lives out his sexual phantasies.

The next scene is one with Elisa Bett - finally a scene with Jair - who is dressed up as Wonderbra Woman ( TM and copyright Kerosin Comics ) in which she walks in on Bailey dressed up as Power Babe who is giving me ... I mean giving the comicbook artist who is not me a two hour long double breasted deepthroat dick massage. Because he bet her five bucks that she could not swallow the entire shaft and like all blonde sexbombs she got totally carried away once she had started titfucking his schlong.

Which would lead to the final scene I definitely would have to include where Jair returns to the bedroom five hours later only to find that now the comicbook artist is slam - banging Bailey's brains out six ways to Sunday because he made another bet that she could have sex with him all night long and he would not come twice. And instead of money she agreed to become his living blow up sex doll for the next three months.

Anyway, Elisa Bett - played by Jair - would not come in to tell Bailey that the bet is rigged ( the catch is that the stipulation clearly states that he will not come twice and in fact he came over a dozen times and not only two times ) but to get her to share the comicbook artist's monstercock.

And that is the end of my little rant ( which probably nobody is reading at this point ) so I will get off my metaphorical soapbox and the last thing I want to say to Haley is to not be discouraged, to ignore those comments and keep doing what you are doing. There are always those who want to bring beautiful, happy, positive people like you down but there are even more who appreciate everything you are doing. And like somebody more intelligent said " The best revenge is living a good life. "

didn't plan this

best crossover ever

making

wild

if the redhead in the music video looked familiar that's because it's Jessica Hahn who was involved in a sex scandal with famous tv angelist Jim Bakker appeared nude in PLAYBOY magazine and also in an episode of Married With Children and

more famous female guest stars on married with children and I already covered the late 39E - 24 - 36 bra - buster Becky Mullen as well as bonerinducing 44E - 22 - 34 Baywatch babe Pamela Anderson in my RETURN OF FLASH FRIDAY : DER ROTE BLITZ post since they do appear in the same episode also in my post about the parody comicbook QUANTUM QUARTETT where the Bundy family gains the powers of THE FANTASTIC FOUR I have written about Playmate Of The Month April in 1986 Teri Weigel whose perplexing 40E ( after her breast augmentation !!! ) - 22 - 34 physique and protruding torpedo shaped sweater puppies made her quite popular and world famous r - rated 42D - 23 - 39 former 80s mega porn star Traci Lords who appeared twice on the show and 35C - 22 - 35 blow up sex doll Kim Anderson if it is really her

christmas episode

glow

ALL THE MASTERS KNOW THAT YOU NEED THE G.L.O.W. TO GROW !

It's been a hot minute since I posted an episode of the pulse pounding bone crunching excitement of G.L.O.W also known as Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling a not so serious wrestling program that had the emphasis on entertainment and a lot of the women were actresses or models first and wrestlers later. While the wrestling was not on the same level as in other leagues it aired in Germany around the time when Catch Up presented by Joe Williams and Horst Brack " The Punisher " ( a.k.a. Rochus Hahn or Robi, the prolific writer of cult comics like MENSCHENBLUT, DR. DIPPERZ, HORST, ARSINOE, LUNA, ALRAUNE ) was the only german wrestling show.

Coming back to the gorgeous ladies of G.L.O.W. while not all of them were prolific wrestlers the great majority were models and aspiring actresses so sometimes it was hard ( and getting harder by the minute ! ) to concentrate on the fights if they included hotties like Tina Ferrari, Spanish Red ( who was a bit flat chested for my taste but more than made up for that with a fantastic ass ) or Ashley Cartier ( Who always read the letters of a fan called Tim in the comedic bits who apparently had a really dirty fantasy or was a serial rapist in training. But as the series progressed she seemed to enjoy his letters more and more going so far as to be disappointed when no letter showed up and I think they resolved the whole storyline when Ashley finally got to meet Tim in the hard flesh although we never got to see the sex marathon that ensued ).

But one of my absolute favorites was Palaestina who not only had the biggest tits on the show, she also looked like one of my biggest wet sex dreams from that time italian 40D - 24 - 36 cult siren Sabrina Salerno .

And like the sexual fantasy of an entire generation she always provided the viewer with a lot of bouncing action because she never wore a bra.

pardon my french

I didn't know there was a total recall tv show

alienation episode one

dat booty I just couldn't bring it dow to the usual five so enjoy the extra video and also make sure to check out her Victoria's Secret lingerie try on video because as bonerinducing as her micro bikini try on videos are and how much naked booty skin they show going up to the limits of what is allowed on YouTube nuditywise none of them got slapped with an age restriction so you know it must be good

question

filmation

special

lauf

kult

dudu

v besucher

automan

Now on past occassions I go with the first episode of a series but after checking out the imdb page for Automan I went with the second one because of a certain buxom barkeeper which the blog followers from my generation might remember from the Tom Hanks comedy Bachelor Party.

Back then they put the emphasis in screwball comedy on the screw part so there were a lot of hot massitas like uncredited blonde bombshell Angela Ames who could have easily starred in a POWER GIRL movie.

So it´s no wonder that among her sadly too few credits ( she passed away with only 32 years ) is the 1984 Jim Wynorsky skin flick THE LOST EMPIRE besides former 42F ( !!! ) - 24 - 36 blow up sex doll template Raven De La Croix who played the role of überbusty amazonian princess.

She would have been perfect for an xxx - rated WONDER WOMAN movie. I wrote more about Raven De La Croix in my first Justice League Casting Alternates post and you can find more about the Russ Meyer movie UP ! in this Alan Davis post about the Legion of Super - Heroes including some spiffy new GIFs of nymphomanic born for porn actress Janet Wood who tried to slam - bang her well - endowed homosexual ( ! ) co - star Robert McLane straight again in the worst way like a possessed phillipino hooker.

And while I have mentioned some of the well endowed actresses from his cult movies like 39D playmate Eve Meyer , 44F Busenwunder Uschi Digard or natural born indian 42F stripper Raven De La Croix in various posts I have only written solo cult siren entries for two of the greatest Russ Meyer muses : Haji and Tura Satana . Tura´s post is mostly about the cult movie Faster Pussycat ! Kill ! Kill ! ( The Devil Women of Tittfield in german ) although it touches on her other movies and has her full bio.

original

german version

vergessen

chibi maruko chan and I included this video because it has a better quality but fans of Chibi Maruko Chan might want to check out the official Chibi Maruko channek on YouTube which not only has more than one video but also epsiodes dubbed in german and english and

son vom sohn vom sohn

style again

melanie fabiano

top 5

action hero

the unknown kindergarten cop sequel with dolph lundgren

penelope ann miller and linda hunt who both are in kindergarten cop are also in the relic

arteaga

extranormal

Yep, regular blog visitor may have noticed that all the videos from Mtv's The Grind have been deleted which in this case is especially annoying since I had included the best of the breast Dana videos - you know the grind dancer who was merciless dicktamed by her brother ( check out my previous post for the lowdown on how he turned her into his personal blow up sex doll ) because she thought she could use her bonerinducing stripper moves on him since being his sister prevented him from getting a huge erection - although there are a lot of other sexbombs in the clips.