For the last two days my blog has been under severe attack by someone or something that just kept flagging my posts as NSFW - I lost count at 60 - so I thought I ought to upload even more risky material and as longtime followers know asian 44D - 25 - 35 cosplay blow up sex doll Yaya Han is always good for that since it is only through an inhuman level of control that I manage to keep her posts from turning into outright pornographic.
Now you might ask why I said that my blog is under attack but with over 60 posts flagged as NSFW I don't know how else I should describe this.
And there are only two possibilities : the first one is blogger changed the software responsible for deciding if a post is safe for work or not and it just happened to be bad luck my blog suffered all of this. The second possibility is that someone decided that my life was not interesting enough and just started flagging posts as NSFW. What speaks for the second possibility is that a lot of the posts that have been flagged don't contain any material that could be seen as even slightly NSFW as they mainly contain comicbook covers and not even any with girls on them.
Another thing that speaks for option two is the fact that I recognized a lot of the posts that were flagged as NSFW since they were included in the links in some of the latest posts I have been working on. So you tell me what's more plausible : that blogger changed their software which flagged over 60 posts as NSFW even though the vast majority does not contain anything that could be even remotely be considered as NSFW or that somebody was bored and decided to flag every post he could find as NSFW and he was too lazy to go through the blog history ? Anyway, since all these posts have been judged as SFW before everything is back to normal now but at least we get another special Yaya Han post out of it.
Not that there is a shortage of Yaya Han posts here. From 2014 to 2017 I´ve written six posts on Yaya - two of them are pretty safe but the other four are absolutely not safe for work - and I keep mentioning her on various JLA casting posts and any other posts involving asian sexbombs like flex appealing Kiana Tom, Ava Cadell, Akira Lane, Miko Lee, korean wrestling knockout Gail Kim a.k.a. Die Geile Kim or 55KK ( !!! ) Minka .
For the longest time I promised my readers that my completely NSFW BIG YAYA HAN POST was still in the pipeline but I am not so sure now.
If it hasn't happened at this point I am not sure if I can do it now that I have lost access to my vast Yaya Han picture library. Thankfully I finished the first draft version of the post which means that it includes a lot of pictures that I need but with six posts that I still have to finish at this point I don't know if I will ever have the time to do it. In the meantime I have made two new posts about Yaya which showcase a part of Yaya Han's incredible anatomy that I have ignored way too often - her legs.
For some reason I didn´t get to do a birthday post for Yaya Han in 2019 so to compensate for that I did three new ones in 2020 ( since I couldn´t get all the new pictures with her I wanted to post into one post ) : the first one is a spotlight on her Eliza from Tekken Revolution cosplay, the second one has five more erection guaranteeing cosplays with the asian extreme ejaculation sensation and post number three has my selection of Yaya´s breast new cosplays mostly of Danganrompa´s Junko Enoshima.
And there is also a special Eliza / Chun Li spotlight post which was my first reader´s request Yaya Han post ever and part two of it right here .
Yaya Han also appeared in three other posts in 2021. The first one was supposed to be all about flexual dynamo Kiana Tom but as always things quickly derailed and it´s all about asian sexbombs but especially blow up sex doll Yaya Han and her giant - sized 44D oppai. As one post was not enough I decided to make a second Yaya Han spin - off post and this one is all about the erotic movie I would like to shoot with her, and with the third try I finally managed to write my planned Kiana Tom birthday post .
With these two posts you might think I have gotten everything off my chest but nonetheless Akira Lane had to share her latest birthday post with Yaya Han as I fantasized about a menage a trois with those two.
After getting the obligatory Yaya Han links out of the way you might ask yourself why this is a different Yaya Han post and the answer is that there will be not as much Yaya Han in this post as usual. And to explain the reason for that we have to go back in time. In fact we have to get all the way back to the year 2018 and the birthday post of blonde 37E - 24 - 35 beachbody. PLAYBOY's Playmate Of The Month of March for 1984 and frequent Andy Sidaris actress Dona Speir where I mentioned that with her boobs Yaya Han would be perfect for the role of the Lizard Lady.
Also known as Lily Lee the Lizard Lady is one of the main antagonists in Will Jacobs and Gerard Jones comic satire THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS.
Naturally the evil asian penetration sensation was so popular with the male readership that she got her own explicit adult spin - off series but sadly the art was not as good as in THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS comicbook and the best thing about the four issue limited series are the covers.
And if Busenwunder Yaya wasn´t born to portray the always scantily clad oversexed nympho with the XXL chest - especially when she is inked by Chuck Austen who pioneered erotic comics with series starring obscenely oversized boob queens like in STRIPS and HARDBALL. With her perfectly shaped overripe melons sexy Yaya looks like she stepped right out of the comic ready to break Lester Girls dick in with her asian sex techniques.
If you have never heard of the series, THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS is about Lester Girls, a poor guy who suffers from the same curse as his father before him, namely that he is drawn into a life of dangerous adventures, incredible wealth and mindblowing sex with the most beautiful women.
That does not really sound like a curse you might say. Well, it is for Lester Girls, since he soon becomes bored with this life and he would trade it all in for a quiet, boring life in his hometown Dullsville where he can just lounge in a hammock while finally finishing reading Tom Sawyer.
The only problem here is that there are hordes of unsatisfied women, vengeful enemies and shady spies and they all want a piece of Lester.
Really, if it wasn´t for Lester´s indian brother Apache Dick ( more a blood brother ) who selflessly relieves him of half the riches, naked women and adventure life would be completely unbearable. And if that doesn´t tell you what a crazy and funny comic series this is nothing will.
In this book nothing is sacred, everything is ripe to be sacrificed for a good laugh and the creators are constantly putting the mirror to the incomprehensible workings of our modern, consume - oriented society.
The series by Comico is the second volume and although it´s only four issues it totally delivers on the sex and exploitation part. Which is what got me interested in the series first since they have the Lizard Lady get her clothes off and submit poor Lester to an asian ejaculation squirt marathon session for which Yaya would be perfect since asian girls are naturally born prostitutes through decades of being sexually assaulted.
Those sweet lips are perfect for giving oral pleasure and we all know that when it comes to deepthroating rockhard boners nobody can hold a candle to asian girls. And those soft, giant boobs were just made to be wrapped tightly around a throbbing erection and milk those dicks dry.
And don´t get me started on those long, perfect legs. I bet they taste as good as they look and Yaya surely can spread them like a real pro as only the best asian strippers and pornstars can. She probably is a sex freak in the bedroom who can polish your meatpole until you squirt like crazy.
Aside from that there are plenty of other instances where the Lizard Lady is topless or at least doesn't wear a lot of clothing which would be also perfect for bigbreasted Yaya Han to showcase her oversized oppai.
Coming back to THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS, naturally the issues from the Comico run are the hardest to find which is the reason that the issues I found are some of the few that I kept from my once vast comicbook collection. With issue five the series returned to black and white and publisher Eternity and there was another series called THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS from Marvel´s Epic imprint in the nineties by Will Jacobs and Gerard Jones with pencils by Brett Blevins but that was just a watered down, censored version that never managed to achieve a fraction of the originals brilliance. Alas unlike the original TROUBLE WITH GIRLS series THE NIGHT OF THE LIZARD series is easily found in trade paperback.
And this is the reason why there will not be as much Yaya Han content in this post. We will focus much more on the comic parts because for the longest time I had to put writing this post on hold indefinitely because it was just impossible to find good scans from these series. But it seems that everything bad leads to something good because while I lost my entire Yaya Han picture library I found not only good scans from Marvel Comics THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS but also from the Comico comicbook.
And with the only 23 pictures per post rule there will be definitely at least a second part to this with more from the comicbook and Yaya.
Now since I don't have any links for this post ( I thought about including some random links but I feel without any context they are just wasted and better used in posts where they tie in to the topic of the post ) I want to start off this section with a different kind of Yaya Han video.
As you are probably aware of by now a big part of her appeal ties in to my sexual obsession with asian women - as well as the fact that she has a body that could easily multiply the sales numbers of any gentlemen's magazine like PLAYBOY, Penthouse etc if she decided to pose naked ( don't wait until it's too late Yaya, hint, hint ) - but she didn't become the top cosplay babe just because of her big breasts. Because if we can get serious here for a moment there are a lot of women in cosplay with big breasts and some of them have even bigger breasts than Yaya Han.
One that I have mentioned a lot is Busenwunder Angie Griffin who is one of the few girls on the planet who can give Yaya Han's 44D porn implants a run for their money with her 100 percent natural 46E twin torpedoes.
But she still has not reached the same level because besides having a body with more curves than the Nuernburgring Yaya Han always delivers immaculate cosplays. No matter if it's the design of the costumes, the sewing, the embroidering or the set design Yaya does it flawlessly and if Yaya is not good at something Yaya keeps pushing herself until she has mastered whatever she needs to do until she makes it look effortless.
Anyway, this video is all about set design for photoshoots - within a limited budget I might add - and I doubt that a lot of people read this blog to learn about cosplaying but there just might be a few comicbook afficionados out there who might get inspired to dress up for their con.
And we are back to sexual stereotypes and the kind of video I would love to shoot with Yaya ( although with less clothing than these perverted pole polisher provided I can get her drunk enough ) because we all know that nobody can spread their legs as wide as them asian girls as Yaya Han herself has demonstrated in over a dozen of hot Chun Li cosplay shoots.
Speaking of mega busty asian oppai sensation Yaya Han bringing fighting games hottest sexbomb to live, since we already covered the lewd and almost pornographic brazilian Street Fighter comicbook adaptions - and I am using that last term loosely - we continue the series with the likewise rather adult brazilian version of the Mortal Combat comicbook. If I'm not mistaken Yaya already did cosplay as Kitana and she could repeat that role - although instead of her usual costume she would wear a micro - bikini that consists of two strings of dental floss that leave nothing to the imagination - and I would even volunteer to be the stunt cock who helps her " rehearse " the extremely explicit sex scenes - that for some strange reason only are in Yaya Han's script - during an asian ejaculation sensation marathon where I get to live out all my sex fantasies with her.
Speaking of lewd another hasian mega sexbomb who would fit right into a more adult adaption of Mortal Combat in the veins of the brazilian comicbook besides ultimate dicktamer Yaya is flexual Miss Bikini Korea 2019 Lim So Young and originally I wanted to include the bodybuilding blow up sex doll in this post but after trying in vain to bring the number of pictures of her to something below 23 ( which is my usual number for solo posts ) multiple times I decided to give her her own cult siren entry.
Man, I wish I could have met Lim So Young in my sexual prime then we could have had an iconic asian penetration sensation weekend ( and when I say weekend I mean one of those extended weekends that start on Thursday and last until Tuesday ) where this deepthroat dick draining expert just mercilessly milks my cock dry like she owed me money and we could have implemented some seriously dangerous positions. Asian nympho sluts like her will just completely ruin you for all other women.
But since we are on the topic of comicbook adaptions and Yaya Han's oversized oppais, for years I have been vetoing to have her as DC Comics most voluptuous super heroine ever potency problem solving Power Girl .
I mean in the TANGENT universe - which was a label where DC Comics re - created their heroes but only kept the names and changed everything else about the character - which is a parallel universe from the regular DC universe ( although at this point who knows what is still canon and which parallel universes still exists anymore ) there was an asian version of Power Girl even if she was very flat chested and her costume sucked.
But I am sure we can find somebody who can adequately play an asian Power Girl and if the costume is a problem maybe we can give her the famous - or infamous depending on your mileage - coconut bikini which consists of a very skimpy grass skirt, two strings thinner than shoelaces that leave nothing to the imagination and the tiniest coconut shells you can find that don't even cover up her areolas. Sans the coconut shells !
Now since we can't include the full Breakdowns storyline in the movie - which sadly is the only time Power Girl wore her bonerinducing coconut bra costume ( at least as far as I know since I am not up to date on the new JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA book although I doubt DC Comics will ever let it appear within a comic again ) - I would opt for the scene that was cut from the story and which was only in the first draft of the script.
In it Guy Gardner steals Kara's diary where he finds a passage about how she turns into a complete deepthroat addicted nympho slut who milks the nearest dick dry when she gets drunk. Guy promptly uses the info to get Power Girl plastered like 20 russians during a fake fertility festival on Kooeykooeykooey Island - where she is tricked into performing a sweat inducing fertility dance for hours while drinking lots of beer mixed with potent interstellar sex drugs containing pink kryptonite - until Kara is writhing in wild convulsions and foaming at the mouth. At which point Guy drags her to the nearest hut where he puts a wig on her and dresses her up in a nurse's uniform while she immediately starts to submit his already huge boner to a double - breasted deepthroat dick massage.
After a few hours of lubricating Guy's little guy until he becomes first the big guy and then the supersized guy Kara flies on his dick - literally - and rides him reverse cowgirl style until he shoots his load like a fire hose.
Or so he thinks. In reality Alan Scott showed him a useless trick because he knew Guy would try to use it to sexually assault his fellow female Justice League of America members and Power Girl's diary was a fake.
Because after finding out that Guy's new vuldarian heritage had turned his already huge monstercock into a giant horsecock that could give even the most well hung breeding stallions penis envy she devised this plan to get him to pound her pornstar body senseless without having to debase herself to having to openly ask the pervert to have sexual intercourse.
Speaking of Yaya Han and her oversized oppai, while she managed to use her impressive skills in costume making to build a successful career in cosplay and her own little cosplay empire it is still such an incredibly big waste that she hides her mouth watering melons under so much fabric and is squandering her investment in her new boobs when they could be put to such better use advancing mankind by massaging huge horsecocks.
It is one of the great mysteries of the universe that has baffled wise men for decades how a natural born men milking machine didn't end up as a porn star and is using her genetical predilection to spread her legs like a professional philippino prostitute only in some scattered Chun Li cosplay photoshoots instead of pounding rock hard boners throughout the world.
And those full and soft wet lips could be doing what they are meant to do : give lonely boners countless hours of sexual pleasure by wrapping around them and spit - polishing the entire shaft until they are hard enough to cut a diamond before relentlessly deepthroating them and bringing them near the brink of exhaustion before squirting a huge load.
Apropos squirting a huge load, coming back to casting Yaya Han as Power Girl in an xxx - rated Justice League of America movie I would include a scene where the male JLA members are on a rescue mission for the JLA babes with the biggest boobs who have been kidnapped by slave traders to be sold as blow up sex dolls to outer space harems where brutal sex demons stretch them completely out with their many giant tentacles.
Somehow Guy Gardner manages to slip away from the others and thanks to a DNA sample of Power Girl ( which he wanted to provide to the new Toy Master to clone him an army of obedient Power Girl sex drones ) he finds her still tied up in the villains vessel where Mongul kept her for his private uses after he sold most of the other members ( except Big Barda and Starfire which he kept in storage ). While the rest of the team goes after the other women Guy stays behind to free Power Girl but as soon as they have left he uses the opportunity to piston pump the captive.
Speaking of using once in a lifetime opportunities to piston pump the ultimate Busenwunders I would definitely have to include my number one wet sex dream of all times, a. k. a. the breast body in showbiz, 40C - 23 - 36 men milking machine Janet " I'll Slamfuck Your Brains Out All Night - Don't Stop " Action Jackson - the nubian deepthroat blow up sex doll that walks like a prostitute who has three solo posts on my blog plus three entries in my CASTING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA MOVIE series in the movie even if it's just to spend a week on the casting couch.
She would be great as Nubia - a.k.a. the black version of Wonderbra Woman ( TM and copyright Kerosin Comics ) for whom I have already designed a special costume. And since Yaya Han plays Power Babe maybe I could trick her ... I mean persuade her to give me one of her patented asian lubrication sensation two hour long double - breasted deepthroat dick massages by betting her five bucks that she can't swallow the entire shaft. And like all naturally born asian sex nymphos she will get totally carried away once she tit - fucks my schlong like there's no Tomorrow !
Which would lead to the final scene I definitely would have to include where Janet returns to the bedroom five hours later only to find me slam - banging Yaya Han's brains out six ways to Sunday without mercy since I made another bet that she could have sex with me all night long and I would not come twice. And instead of money Yaya Han agreed to become my obedient living blow up sex doll for the next three months if she lost.
Anyway, Nubia - played by Janet Jackson - would not come in to tell Power Babe that the bet is rigged ( the catch is that the stipulation clearly states that I will not come twice and in fact I came over a dozen times and not only two times ) but to get her to share my monstercock.
We are keeping the topic of asian sensations going with a video about the big anime hype caused by Akira Toriyama's Dragonball Z in Germany.
For me this was an interesting time period to witness because here in Spain the Dragonball anime and the manga hit 20 years earlier then in Germany so I could experience the same boom that already happened here. Just like in Spain the comicbook afficionados, comicbook shop owners and comicbook professionals were first excited but very soon panicked that mangas and animes would just engulf the entire industry.
While I knew that was not going to happen and instead they would surely claim their rightful share of the entertainment market but once the big hype had calmed down the other kind of comics - european, american and german - would prevail. Because unlike Today american comics could compete with manga. Anyway, Dragonball Z became such a phenomenon that some didn't even realize that it was the continuation of Dragonball and of course both animes had to be censored for the innocent Kinder.
Now here in Spain Dragonball came out BEFORE the big manga boom - in fact it was one of the mangas that started the boom - so they were not accustomed to the tankobon format so instead of that they printed it in regular 32 page comics so the storylines went on for hundreds of issues.
They were printed in catalan - which meant you had to learn at least the basics of catalan to read them - with a red cover ( I think in homage to the red ribbon army ) and I remember that when my brother finally had the disposable income to buy comicbooks for himself he went to a comic shop in Barcelona and bought two full bags of those Dragonball floppies.
I think he got as far as issue 150 or 200 or something and he spent so much money on them that the shop owner gave him a bunch of free comicbooks. Man, Today's comicbook readers don't know how good they have it with the mangas where they print theses 500 pages pocket books.
Anyway, reading the spanish Dragonball comics in catalan was not that difficult for fans of the anime because you could only watch it on the catalan tv station TV 3. Which is the reason that to this day the intro to Drangonball sound weird to me if it's not the original catalan opening.
Now I am kind of old school when it comes to anime so I am more a fan of the original Dragonball anime than Dragonball Z so the opening to that show is not as engrained into my brain but for consistency's sake here is the version in catalan. Which just by chance happens to be sung by the delightful Lidia Bao who manages to do a surprisingly animated performance even without any clips from the anime and definitely check her out - I mean check out her channel - for more great music videos.
We return to fighting games with Battletoads one of THE most difficult console games to play ever that tried to cash in to the success Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was creating in the 1980s entertainment industry.
While I never played the game myself I remember seeing the ads for it on many comicbooks from my former collection and I did find a video from the React Channel where you can at least see how it is played. Plus I know that a big part of my readership will be relieved that I don't go on one of my usual rants about the hot Teens React babes and wet t - shirts.
While the Battletoads cartoon - singular because they only made one episode that was so bad that it never got picked up for syndication - is not in the upper echelon of video game cartoon adaptions I wanted to include it for completists sake. Especially since the fifth instalment of Saturday Morning Cartoon - Action Max also includes episodes of Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, Biker Mice From Mars, Bucky O'Hare & The Toad Wars, Galaxy Rangers, Ultra Force, Comouter Warriors and Video Power.
Sometimes the stars align through mysterious forces and the pieces of a puzzle you didn't even know you were trying to solve fall into place. In this case first it was the episode of Danger 5 I came upon on the Shout ! Studios channel where I found a lot of videos I have posted on the blog.
As I was not familiar with the series I put it on the back burner until I found the following video on my YouTube suggestions and thought " Isn't that one of the series for which I just found an episode ? " and both of them went onto my list for further use. Well, while going through the episodes of tv shows to find one that could fit the topic of this post I remembered that THE TROUBLE WITH GIRLS is also kind of an absurdist comicbook and Lester Girls has some adventures as part of a spy team.
As I am writing this part it is one year and one month later than when I started this post and I still have not found the time to watch this episode ( what can I say, I am a busy man and the time I spend on the computer gets shorter each week ) so I hope Danger 5 is as entertaining as it looks.
Coming from dangerous 5 to sexy 5 we have another batch of videos with czech real live Power Girl Sonia Edde and if any of my readers out there might feel a tinge of a guilty conscience because you can't help yourself but stare at her huge melons and don't hear a word she is saying don't beat yourself up over it - wait, what did you think I was going to say ? - because you are supposed to get an erection from her juicy cleavage so you don't pay attention to how bad the news are. But it's not only that Busenwunder Sonia's giant - sized double airbags make professional porn stars envious, they make sure that you get a huge boner by purposely arranging her jewellery - especially her necklaces - in such a way that it automatically draws your attention to her mouthwatering mammaries.
Don't believe me ? Well, check out these videos which are not the only but the most blatant examples of her necklace directing the male gaze towards her big boobs that could be put to better use massaging hard cocks. But I guess her boss gets plenty of that if he has half a brain cell.
From huge oppai we come to more asian sensation with a rare double feature on the blog starting with a Videobuck review of the classic Nine Deaths Of The Ninjas starring martial arts ninja movie icon Sho Kosugi.
The older followers of the blog may have seen Sho Kosugi in the tv series The Master, the Cannon Films ninja trilogy Enter The Ninja, Revenge Of The Ninja and Ninja III : The Domination ( which we will all cover on the blog ), Ninja Assassin, Pray For Death - where he also plays a ninja - or the movies where he doesn't play a ninja like Shogun Warrior, Rage Of Honor, Black Eagle where he goes up against Jean - Claude Van Damme or 1989s Blind Fury opposite Rutger Hauer who plays a blind swordsman.
And before you think asian cinema is just martial arts and ninjas Brian Tenold reviews the hard rock zombie alien invasion comedy Wild Zero.
And speaking about asian music groups that slap hard, now that I have already substituted it with another music video I found the k - pop music video with a car for my post about asian fitness sensation Lim So Young .
But Lim So Young is not the only hasian lubrication sensation where all I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom on her boom boom and for some reason I can't quite put my finger on ( although I know where I would put some other part of my body that looks a bit like a finger only much bigger on if I ever got a hold of her ) this video was ingrained into my memory.
I don´t know what it is about them butt asian girls are my kryptonite !
And I don´t want to resort to racial stereotypes that all asian women are natural born prostitutes because of decades of sexual assault but they have the extra oomph that works better than viagra that makes you extra hard - instead of rock hard you get hard enough to cut diamonds - and makes you hear Me so horny me love you long time ! in your head.
When I first watched the Case Closed anime I found it a bit creepy that a grown man like Kogoro Mouri was still such a raving fan of teenage pop idol Yoko Okino but after seeing a few live performances by different k - pop groups I must say their stage shows are really sexually charged .
These k - pop idols sing like angels, look like playmates, they move like strippers and the suggestive and extremely provocative dance moves of their shows would make anybody but the most seasoned porn stars blush.
On top of that the audience often gets a glance at these blow up sex dolls underwear - if they are even wearing any - and if not their outfits are often so tiny that they don´t leave anything to the imagination being strained to their maximum by the k - pop star´s booming bodies boobies so that they are only mere seconds away from a wardrobe malfunction .
Speaking of ultimate k - pop dicktamers with bodies that give porn super stars booty envy and mega skimpy outfits that leave very little to the imagination bordering on a wardrobe malfunction ( which sadly did not happen in this case although I would wager that if it had they would have cut it out of the video and ASS it is I am surprised they left ASS much ASS they did in the music video ) as longtime followers of the blog know I have always said that asian girls - and especially when we come to the sub category of k - pop stars - have the best formed most perfect bubblebutts in the world and this video - once again - proves my point.
ASS I said, I finally found the video so I can tell you that the girl who passed the Ultimate K - Pop Booty World Championship with flying colors with what must be the bASSt ASS in k - pop history that could give even latin booty queen Jennifer Lopez a run for her money is Yura from Girl's Day which is embarrassing since I already featured them three times .
Although I have to say that in my defense Yura didn't display the superior asian bubblebutt penetration booty qualities she showed in this video.
The name of the song is Female President and for all the k - pop fans - or just admirer of the female asian figure - I am including he full video here. There is also a dance version you might want to check out and yes, that is the same preview picture as in the video above butt let's be realistic for a moment : which screenshot would you choose ? I mean, with a butt like that Yuri could really run for president and if I was her campaign manager that would be the picture on her campaign poster.
She could run for the presidency of The United States of Assmerica as the senator of Arkans Ass representing the cities of Assville, Babesville, Bald Knob, Bendownville, Best Fuck, Biggerrectum, Bonerville, Buff City, Cuming Wiener, Damesville, Da Fine Butt, Fuckherman, Holy Mountains, Jackoffville, Head Hill and surely Yellville but not Ass Flat or Ass Down.
Her election battle cry would be ASS much ASS you want she would be doing a lapdancing tour with the rest of the asian sex goddesses of Girl's Day of all 52 states and her campaign pledge would be to leave no hard boner without a submissive asian lubrication deepthroat nymphomaniac and free double breasted dick massages at her victory ejaculation party.
I would vote for her and I predict that she would win by a landslide - or more accurately said a tidal wave from all the Yuri - gasms she's causing.
As usual I have included Girl's Day top five live performances ( starting with the bottom and working up our way to the top spot ) or in this case the places from number two to six since their number one performance of Female President was blocked and can only be watched on YouTube .
speed racer
meteoro in spain
game show
mahler
kinder
melone
mack the knife
ferienprogramm re upload
cobra
We have a rare internet find with Brigitte Nielsen's smash hit Every Body Tells A Story on italian tv in 1987 and in high quality to boot. The first time I saw Brigitte Nielsen perform that song was on WETTEN DASS with Thomas Gottschalk. Brigitte´s performance on that show made quite an impression on me back then. My brother liked to tell the story about how mesmerized I was by her corsage outfit that when he asked me how I liked her singing afterwards I said : " Did she sing ? I don´t remember. "
Of course regular blog visitors are already familiar with 1980s 46E ( !!! ) - 23 - 37 sex symbol extraordinaire Brigitte Nielsen since I mentioned her in the first post about italian pop sensation Sabrina Salerno and in my MOVIE RUMMAGE TABLE WITH EDDIE MURPHY SPECIAL post . She was one of the busty centerfolds alongside Angela Cavagna, Danuta Lato or - most famously - Samantha Fox who tried to turn her notoriety into vinyl gold.
So she wanted to cash in on that popularity and tried her luck together with Falco from Vienna best known for his worldwide number 1 single ROCK ME AMADEUS. They sang BODY NEXT TO BODY although Brigitte Nielsen´s real contribution to the video clip was shaking her enormous moneymakers in a little black shirt that was barely bigger than a napkin.
I remember staying up late at night way beyond my bedtime to secretly tape the video because they didn´t show it on tv before midnight.
This appearance on the german music program Peter's Pop Show with Peter Illman - the first presenter of famous or rather infamous Formel Eins - must have been not so long after Brigitte Nielsen did Body Next To Body with Falco because she is wearing one of the outfits from the music video. Sadly it's not the napkin shirt which really would have worked the audience into a masturbation frenzy. I am not sure if I posted something of this before but this video is of much higher quality than whatever I might have posted in the past this also has Brigitte's full performance.
With a body made for xxx movies Brigitte set out to conquer Hollywood where the ultimate love making machine slam - banged the Terminator's circuits out like there is no Tomorrow. After polishing Conan's giant sword she defeated swedish Uebermensch Ivan Drago through sexual knockout and became Mistress of the Universe turning He - Man into her Boy - Toy.
Finally she went the distance with Rocky's rockhard boner lasting much more than the obligatory fifteen rounds and engaged in grueling all out position warfare against Rambo dicktaming Alex Foley along the way.
But while her absolute domination in Tinseltown's bedrooms was without question it didn't translate into box office success and while she starred in a few good movies she had to resort to showcasing her nude body in a few lesser skin flicks much to the delight of Brigitte's drooling male fans.
A movie that deserves its bad rep is Beverly Hills Cop 2 not only because it´s the best example of how Hollywood used to make sequels - do the same as in the first movie just add more movie stars and more explosions without understanding why the original formula worked - but also for the blatant misuse of sexual stallion Brigitte Nielsen who was in her prime.
I mean as bad as Cobra ( or City Cobra as it was called in Germany ) was at least it had a photo session with Busenwunder Brigitte. Somehow she never managed to fulfil her obvious potential as a superior Sexbombe.
With boobs bigger than Big Barda , the sexual attraction of Power Girl , the rampant libido of slutty Catwoman, longer legs than the leather clad black bra outfit 90s prostitute Wonder Woman drawn by Mike Deodato Jr. and the overt sexuality of the OG Starfire by Marv Wolfman and George Perez ( not the toned down versions of the cartoons and tv shows ) you might think it would be child's play to put Brigitte in a comicbook movie.
Able to leap herself with huge pulsating horsecocks in a single bound, getting strange visitors from an extinct civilization hard like unto a thing of iron faster than a speeding bullet, pound their strangely formed but surprisingly effective at making earth women climax ( almost as if aliens have been visiting earth to use women for sex - periments for countless centuries ) extremely flexible appendages without mercy like a powerful locomotive and making those big tentacles squirt a strange white liquid that when coming into contact with exposed human skin could turn even the most chaste nun into a deepthroat addicted and horny nympho slut without end like a mighty river having her become the undefeatable superheroine she was between the sheets on film should have been a no brainer but her luck with comicbook movies wasn´t much better either.
Her She Hulk movie ( which as bad as it could have turned out would have still been much better than the tv show we finally got ) didn´t make it out of the planning stage and her Red Sonja movie is really bad.
First off since the movie studio already had to pay Marvel Comics for usage of the character of Red Sonja created by writer Roy " The Boy " Thomas and artist Barry Windsor - Smith they didn' want to pay the heirs of Robert E. Howard for using Conan The Barbarian so instead they called him Kalidor and turned him into a wishy - washy Conan light milktoast.
Which was a big problem because he was featured prominently on the movie poster so people expected to get a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Red Sonja while he was only a secondary character. The second big problem - at least for the comicbook fans - was that the producers of the movie also didn't go for Red Sonja's iconic itsy - bitsy chain mail bikini and instead gave her a costume that covered up a lot of Brigitte Nielsen's fantastic hardbody which also robbed the movie of a lot of its potential.
Speaking of Brigitte Nielsen's bonerinducing pornstar body, somebody who immediately realized her potential was Arnold Schwarzenegger who went on record in his memoirs that he used Brigitte like a blow up sex doll during the shooting of Red Sonja - which added more fuel to the already heated rivalry between the Terminator and Sylvester Stallone.
Because not only were they in a competition who would be the bigger action star and earn the bigger box office, Arnold also was infamous for duping Sylvester Stallone into making movies that he knew would be flops like Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot ! and now he banged the living daylights out of a sex goddess that Sylvester was interested in taming.
When Arnold Schwarzenegger ended his sexual encounters with brabuster Brigitte she immediately set out to turn Sylvester into her docile italian breeding stallion and she succeeded getting a first meeting by slipping a naked portrait picture with her phone number under his hotel room door.
And once they met Brigitte Nielsen milked him completely dry in a ejaculation sensation marathon until he could not get it up anymore.
Sex machine Brigitte literally banged Sylvester's brain out six ways to Sunday in the worst way because after their divorce Sylvester claimed to have suffered from temporary insanity during their heated relationship.
The yellow press often claimed that Brigitte just used Sylvester but they didn't know that besides boosting her career tremendously she also used him like a sex toy - keep in mind that Brigitte towers at 6 foot 2 over Sylvester Stallone with 5 foot 10 - during their endless squirt sessions.
Not that I think Sylvester minded being dicktamed by men - milking machine Brigitte in their epic hardcore sex many positions in orgies.
I mean, which red blooded male wouldn't love to be used as a walking dildo by awesome danish amazon Brigitte Nielsen during her prime ?
Especially once she got her huge melons pumped up even bigger thanks to the wonders of the best plastic surgery money can buy. That must have made Sylvester even more enthusiastic about breaking in Brigitte.
Because he had to keep in shape for his movies Sylvester was also at his physical peak and Brigitte has gone on record that he would constantly and relentlessly pound her like a jackrabbit during the mating season.
One thing that always bugged me about Red Sonja was that her origin didn´t make much sense. In the comicbook she was granted superior strength as long as she was undefeated by men in battle. Which means that in the case when she needed more strength the most - namely when some guy got the upper hand on her - the goddess would deny her that.
Which for me is just a sexual assault waiting to happen. It´s almost like this goddess wanted the biggest, longest, hardest, baddest, most brutal and perverted delinquents to use Sonja like a cheap blow up sex doll.
Now it´s been a while since I last saw the first two Beverly Hills Cop movies ( I have seen the third one once and you couldn´t pay me enough to watch it again ) and I don´t know if it´s old age or if they cut in in the german version ( for which I could not find any proof at the websites where censored movies are listed ) but while I can vividly remember the scene at a strip club in the first movie I completely blanked on the fact that there was a scene at a strip club in the second Beverly Hills Cop.
I wasn´t able to find out the name of the real life stripper in Beverly Hills Cop, only that she recommended the song that plays in that scene, Nasty Girl by Vanity. I did however find out the names of the two women who play the strippers in Beverly Hills Cop 2. The first is Teal Roberts and she strut her stuff in the 1984 comedy Hardbodies and The Last Boy Scout with afro american natural born 40E - 25 - 37 stripper Halle Berry .
Coming back to Brigitte's massive mouth watering mammaries, one thing that I haven't mentioned yet - and of which a reader thankfully just reminded me is that she also appeared in the italian romance fantasy adventure Fantaghiro - The Cave Of The Golden Cave where she played the evil busty Dark With and her melons were just beyond huge in that.
Closing out things with Brigitte we have her performance of My Girl / My Guy on the dutch popshow Countdown with a nice wardrobe malfunction that she sadly notices halfway through the number. Thankfully it happens again right away since there is no controlling the prime sweater puppies.
stallone
time
rogue trooper
speaking of war escape to athena from 1979 which has a really stacked cast and I am not saying that because of claudia cardinale and stefanie powers since it stars such heavyweights like roger moore telly savalas sir david niven elliot gould richard roundtree
roy thomas
mcgyver
atlantis
sky surfer
strike force
thailand part one
banner
quote of the day
4 comments:
Yeah the problem is that you have to label your blog as "Adult Content" as there are AQI Bots that have certain criteria they look for in photo content. I had to take your link off CBO as three times I got a warning and the final time I got so pissed I demanded blogger explain what was going on. The only answer I have ever received from them since 2011 stated "Pornographic content found"
I looked all over my page -nothing. Then I notice4d the blog roll and a clip from your blog (not a still but a clip) showing a sex clip. I removed that and my blog suspension was lifted in 25 minutes.
You dirty, dirty boy! :-)
Yes but there is no clear line. Like I said there were a lot of posts flagged as NSFW that had no content that was in the slightest objectionable. What some old issues of Jack Kirby's ETERNALS or Gene Colan's DOCTOR STRANGE are suddenly pornographic ? They just flagged posts all over the place. In past instances I knew there was risky stuff in my posts but that's the deal when you are blogging. Now it seems somebody or something was just playing russian roulette.
And please, I prefer to think of myself as a dirty old man. I haven't been called a boy in decades.
If you wanna talk about Brigitte Nielsen's knockers, you really need to see her in Fantaghiro. They are INSANE in that. Look up the post on the Female Villains Wikia.
Well, I have seen that but I couldn't find a good video on YouTube that I could post so I didn't mention it. Plus these posts tend to get a bit long if I really start to delve into those things ( and I don't mean just Brigitte Nielsen's breasts ). But it's nice to see that there are people out there who share my interests. Maybe I ought to do a full cult siren entry for Brigitte Nielsen one of these days when I don't have so many unfinished posts to do.
Post a Comment