Okay, technically Today is Wednesday and not Thorsday but it is Ron Frenz' 63rd birthday - so usually we start the month of February with a Ron Frenz tribute post - and I doubt I can write more than the intro before midnight so it will be Thorsday when I have to take a break.
Now I was not sure if I should and could write a Ron Frenz post Today.
First up there are still two posts from last year I have to finish and two more I started this year. Secondly I mentioned Ron Frenz a lot lately because the writer on his THOR run was Tom DeFalco who also wrote one of my favorite FANTASTIC FOUR runs with the great late Paul Ryan and I finally got to do my first FANTASTIC FOUR FRIDAY WITH PAUL RYAN post .
Longtime readers already know this but since it may be new to first time visitors : I am a big fan of Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz. Especially when they work together like in their THOR run that followed on the heels of Walter Simonson´s epic revitalization of the title. Because they came in right after one of the best THOR runs ever a lot of people skipped their issues and dimiss them which may be one reason why I like it so much.
I know it borders on sacrilege but for me it is a guilty pleasure I rate even above the Walter Simonson THOR run . And in fact when I had to get rid of my comicbook collection I had no problem selling my two Artist´s Editions of Walter Simonon´s THOR but I just couldn´t get with the idea to sell all of my issues of the Tom DeFalco / Ron Frenz THOR run.
Tom DeFalco also wrote MC2 titles like AVENGERS NEXT, JUGGERNAUT 2, AMERICAN DREAMER, FANTASTIC FIVE, Wolverine and Psylocke´s daughter WILD THING, LAST HERO STANDING and LAST PLANET STANDING but I never did a spotlight post on them. There is however another MC2 title, the best known one SPIDERGIRL and I wrote two posts about the book in 2017 since he teamed up with Ron Frenz again and another one in 2022 .
Speaking of Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz teaming up on spider - books they also did a lengthy run on AMAZING SPIDER - MAN when I started to get into reading american comicbooks and was still buying all my issues at the international press newsstand in Stuttgart. So I wrote two tribute posts to that and especially in homage to the platin blonde mercenary Silver Sable who for me is one of the most criminally underused female characters in Spider - Man history. Thankfully she had a big part in the Assassin Nation Plot storyline during Todd McFarlane´s run on the title .
Which brings us to their collaboration on THOR and Eric Masterson, about whom I wrote four posts. The first one back in 2014 in which we covered everything from THOR 383 - which was the first issue of Tom DeFalco and a SECRET WARS tie in - up to Thor´s epic battle with the Celestials and Captain America ( Back then wearing the red and white costume that would become the U.S. Agent´s uniform and going by the name The Captain. And you can read about his fights with Iron Man in my Bob Layton Iron Man spotlight posts ) lifting Mjolnir for the very first time.
I wrote my second Eric Masterson post in 2015 in which we continued our journey making a jump to THOR 430 covering the broad strokes of THE SOUL SHROUD SAGA. My readers had to wait for my third Eric Masterson post until 2017 but for that they were rewarded with the full issue 433 which is the first outing of Eric Masterson as the official new Thor. There is also my Mark Texeira GHOST RIDER tribute post from 2014 in which I wrote about how I had stopped reading THOR and started again because of THOR 430 which was the second part of a story that guest - starred Ghost Rider and led right into THE SOUL SHROUD SAGA. Apropos, I have finally managed to start the series in 2022 but now that my complete archive is stuck in limbo I have no idea when - and if - I can continue it.
There are also two Ron Frenz posts with the nice pictures he posts on facebook and the second one is an all - Thor post that includes original art from his THOR issues. Last but not least I also did two posts about the work he did for Marvel Comics Distinguished Competition namely the famous Zap Superman and the SUPERMAN RED SUPERMAN BLUE storyline.
Coming back to the origin of this post I would have loved to continue my THOR : THE SOUL SHROUD SAGA but as I already mentioned that was out of the question. At least within the next 24 hours. On the other side I had zilch material for a Ron Frenz Superman post or a Ron Frenz Spider - Man post and since I had already done a Ron Frenz Spidergirl post just a few months ago it would have to be another Ron Frenz Thor tribute post.
Which got me thinking. While I had written a lot lately about the part of Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz THOR run when Eric Masterson gets involved I skipped a big part of what happened before. So I went back to earlier issues to see if I could find enough original art for a full - blown post.
As usual I tried to avoid re - posting material but I could not go over all 1,280 posts and only looked over my THOR spotlight posts so there may be some pages I already posted. For instance I could swear that I already posted the final page of THOR 428 with the Juggernaut ( guest - starring Excalibur ) somewhere in a special FRIDAY FIGHT NIGHT post but maybe that was just one I planned to do but never got around to write. In any case, I got enough for a post - in fact for two posts - so I hope you enjoy this journey in the way back machine to a time when the writers still knew what Thor was all about and didn't use the comicbooks as a vehicle for their own propaganda about sex, race, society or any other SJW bs.
So I was looking for a video from this run on COMICPOP but it seems there are not a lot of Thor videos to begin with and most of them are from the newer writers. Which might be a good thing since they mostly review either very good storylines or very bad ones. So this may either be a sign that this is not a bad run or - like I mentioned a few times - this is one that flies under the radar of most comicbook afficionados so it doesn't get a lot of play. Which might be one of the reasons I like it so much. In any case I DID find a video about one of the best THOR runs of all times and the introduction of one of the best supporting characters in the Thor universe, the goat - faced alien thunder warrior, Beta Ray Bill.
FEELS LIKE I'M RAGNAROCK ROCK ROCKING ON WALHALLA'S DOOR !
Here on TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN we like to go from one extreme to another and so we go from one of the best THOR comics to one of the worst Thor movies of all times Thor Ragnarok. Because you know that a movie can't end well when it starts as a vehicle for another super hero - in this case they initially wanted to do a World War Hulk movie - which you can't use in a solo movie because of contractual limitations and so you have to put him into other movies to be able to use him. Not that the parts that were about Thor were that great to begin with. By the way, when I called Thor Ragnarok ONE of the worst Thor movies of all times it was mainly because I am 100 percent sure that the upcoming Thor : Love and Thunder will be even worse since they are going to implement the worst THOR comics - once again - and make Jane Foster into the new Thor. By the way, is it just me or do Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman have zilch chemistry ? Their love affair looked forced in the first movie and it has only gotten worse with each new instalment.
YOU ARE MY FIRST THOR, MY LAST THOR, MY THOR EVERYTHING !
Speaking of instalments, we are coming to the first one of FILMSTARTS series of different Marvel movies from the time before the time when there was no MCU about the Incredible Hulk with The Return Of The Incredible Hulk which presented the very first live action version of Thor.
I remember that when this came out it was kind of a double edged sword for me because on one side it was incredible ( pun intended ) to see two of Marvel Comics mightiest super heroes in live action while on the other side I didn't like the changes they made to Thor. That said over time this version grew on me and I especially appreciate it more now as the films are moving more and more away from - the original - source material.
And I have the feeling I am not the only one who prefers this version to what we have to endure with each new Thor movie. But I guess like the ill - fated Shazam movies the crux here is that the guys in Hollywood have no filter in regards to what are good stories and just adapt what ever Today's self - inserting checkbox gender / race hires come up with.
Speaking of adaptions of nordic myths, the Nibelung Saga has also been reworked into THOR stories where Thor was reincarnated into Siegfried and the Valkyrie ( we will return to her later on ) as the bra - busting Brunhilde. I don't know if Odin did this on purpose to get them hitched up but the fact remains that in that timeline - which may have been completely eradicated and wiped out of existence - Thor slamfucked the living daylights out of the Valkyrie six ways to Wodansday and it never comes up in any of the Marvel comics whenever Thor and the Valkyrie find themselves on the same team. And I don't think it will in the current SJW comics because they always try to portray the women as infallible and perfect so I am not sure how well a pick up line like " Hey, Valkyrie, remember when we were reincarnated as Siegfried and Brunhilde and I dicktamed you like a cheap blow up sex doll wearing my dick out ? If not I could give you a quick - or not so quick - refresher course to jog your memory. " would go over with the toxic militant feminists that talk about comics ( and that's all they do because they don't BUY any comicbooks ).
Keeping the theme of works based on the nordic myths going we come to Walhalla and I don't know how many people in America have even heard of this danish film. I know that when it came to Germany it was a big deal and they even translated the comic series created by Arne Stenby and Henning Kure. The latter one also wrote the comic together with Per Vadmand, Hans Rancke - Madsen and Peter Madsen who was the artist.
On the other hand there are even things I have never heard of like The Loggerheads but since I couldn't find any episodes of Wickie it has to do.
LOKI IS NOT THE GOD OF MISCHIEF AND OTHER MYTH CONCEPTIONS
Speaking of adapting nordic mythology to feature films, as anybody who is more than just a casual visitor of the blog can attest to I am a big fan of Marvel Comics version of the thunder god . But since I have also read some nordic sagas I know that the way they represent the Asgardians is most often than not different or outright contrary to the original version.
One of the most blatant examples is Thor himself who in the folklore has red hair and a beard while Stan Lee and Jack Kirby depicted him as being blond and clean shaven. This was no doubt because they made a version how americans might see him who would naturally picture him as blond, handsome and clean shaven because that is the stereotype they ( and many other around the planet let's face it ) have of the vikings and the regular guy on the street sees somebody as Thor just as a viking god.
Most of them also think that Thor is a not a real god and only a demigod and for the life of me I have no idea where that came from. I have no proof but I do blame the THOR / Not THOR / Jane Foster is just taking everybody's place int the nordic pantheon crap they put into the comics.
Because Thor is a real god. A for real real god. His Dad is obviously a god - Odin, just THE biggest god among all of the Asgardians - and his mother was Gaea, nobody less than Mother Earth who is also a real goddess. So with both of his parents being full blown gods Thor is clearly also a god.
Heck, they even put it in the Marvel Comics that Thor's mother is Mother Earth which makes it even more f - word - ed up that Odin always gives Thor such a hard time for visiting earth so often instead of being on Asgard with his old man. Because earth is where Thor's mother lives.
So naturally he feels a bond with earth and all of his citizens and wants to protect them. They are literally his mother's people and since his Mom is the personification of earth anything that harms the planet harms her.
Which means that by protecting earth he is actually protecting his Mom and Odin is a real d - word for always hating on Thor and taking his godly powers away every 5 seconds because he wants to do right by his Mom.
And this happened all the time in the old comics. I swear, if Odin was not pontificating about how Asgard is the best ever and he most above all or moaning because Thor is on earth checking out them hot earth girls he is either taking away Thor's godly powers or busy sleeping the Odinsleep.
Which by the way when I read them I did not understand why somebody as powerful as the Allfather Odin had to sleep so much but now I am at the point where I most urgently would need to take more than just one powernap during the day but I can't. So I completely understand Odin now. With kids like Thor - who was thicker than a dunce sometimes - and especially Loki you need to replenish your energies from time to time.
That's another thing where the movies have spread false information and lies about Loki because since when is Loki the god of mischief ? He is not the god of mischief or lies, he is the god of EVIL. Simple as that. I know that everybody just loves Tom Hiddleston but that is not the real Loki.
The Loki in the comicbooks - and in norse mythology - is a bad dude who is constantly trying to kill Thor ( and any of the Loki supporters just read my first post on THOR : THE SOUL SHROUD SAGA where he callously tries to kill Eric Masterson's son to get Thor enraged enough to kill him ), all of the Asgardians - when he is not trying to rule them all - and destroy all of creation. As we have seen in Neil Gaiman's SANDMAN comics Loki is a character a lot of writers apparently identify with and as a result in every other company besides Marvel Comics they write Thor as a stupid brute so I know where the whitewashing - or in this case goodwashing - of Loki comes from but make no mistake. Loki is only the god of mischief if your definition of the word means obliterating all of human existence.
Now if we come to Hercules he's a real for real demigod because while his father was Zeus his mother was a mere mortal as Zeus learned early on that there are a lot of firecrackers here and earth girls are easy.
Gotten all of this off my chest and coming back to my initial thought, you probably got the idea that I am a big fan of Marvel Comics THOR comicbooks but not so much of the adaption to the movie screen. For me the first THOR film was the only good one ( Although I always found the scene where Thor is knocked unconscious by a taser out of character as that gadget uses electricity and Thor is literally the god of lightning and thunder who who eats lightning bolts for breakfast and craps thunder and storm clouds. So a few volts should have no effect. But who cares about logic when we can have a funny scene even if Thor is not a funny character ? But all the other Marvel movies have funny bits so let's start an unfortunate trend that will ruin all of the following appearances of Thor in the Marvel cinematic universe. ). The second one was really bad as they could have chosen ANY other from literally a dozen of stories where Asgard is attacked by another pantheon ( one could have been the excellent WAR OF THE GODS story from the run by Tom DeFalco and Ron Frenz themselves ) and it would have been better than this but at least it was still Thor. With the third one not even accomplishing that which was a complete trainwreck whose apparent only mission was turning Thor into a version of Eric Masterson WITHOUT using the character of Eric Masterson. Since we want to have somebody LIKE Thor who can be funny and stuff but we will still call him Thor because nobody knows Eric Masterson and if we make an Eric Masterson movie nobody will go see it.
IF I COULD VALKYRIE THIS WAY I WOULDN'T NEED AN AFTER SHAVE !
As you can see by now I am very passionate about these things and one of the biggest brain - f - words of the third Thor movie - where they turned Thor himself into a Disney princess - is presenting the Valkyries as this badass assemblage of Asgardian warrior goddesses since nothing could be farther from the truth. But as I have already written about it ad infinitum - and because people may believe it if somebody else backs me up - here is a video stating not only that the movie depicted the role of the Valkyries completely wrong ignoring all the Marvel Comics and also norse mythology but that most of the depictions of the Valkyries in pop culture are wrong. Because no one takes the time to research who they really are and just makes a version based on the stereotypes in their head and what they know from other - and obviously - wrong sources.
So yes, the third Thor movie which is all that woke and - supposedly - all about empowering females does a really great job of further distorting the picture of the Valkyries in the public mass media. Good job SJWs.
With all that said regular blog visitors are probably going to accuse me of doing the same thing since I not only mentioned Marvel Comics teutonic titwonder metal bikini bearing nordic Busenwunder Valkyrie very often but I did a whole comicbook movie casting post which was basically just me talking about which role I could give to all natural 34E ( !!! ) - 24 - 34 bikini beach body par excellence Hannah Palmer in a THOR movie . And I am not. You know, sometimes I ask myself if anybody really reads what I write or if they just scroll down the post and look at the pretty pictures.
Because if you read the post you know it is about casting Hannah Palmer in a movie based on the Marvel Comics. So when I am talking about the Valkyrie I am talking about the way how she is depicted in comicbooks and not any comicbooks but the ones from Marvel Comics. Yes, in the post I am also talking about the OG Valkyries in nordic mythology but only to give my readers some accurate information - not as a basis for how she would appear in my movie. Which is completely fictional by the way. But yes, the casting I do is for a THOR comicbook movie and I refuse to watch Thor : Love & Thunder unless they show it on tv and I am really drunk. I mean out of my mind plastered. Maybe then I could stomach it.
Staying on the subject of the actual THOR comicbooks and my opinion on them I have also written about that ad infinitum and given this topic its own post but if you really want to know continue reading the Hannah Palmer post beyond the part with the Valkyrie because I go into detail how you could make the storyline where Jane Foster becomes the new goddess of thunder ( I refuse to call her the new THOR because that is the thunder god's name and not a title or job description proven by the fact that there have been a plethora of female versions of Thor in the Marvel comicbooks before this and none of them even thought about calling themselves Thor ) work and be also entertaining for readers.
AMERICAN GLADIATORS or DIAMOND IS A MAN'S BREASTEST FRIEND
Speaking about women who could play the Valkyrie - the one from the Marvel Comics comicbooks not the ones from norse mythology - in a movie I have to put real life Power Girl Erika Andersch whom guys from my generation know as Diamond, the blonde DD sexbomb of german descent with the killer body on American Gladiators high on that list.
Another big crowd pleaser were her warm up exercises which always involved her breasts in a big way. Thankfully the camera men were not as catholic as in prude Germany and so we got to see plenty of mega hot bouncing action. I´m sure she shot an entire generation of teenagers through puberty prematurely with her x - rated cleavage antics alone.
Daimn, I wish I could have had a physio therapist with her build during my rehab back in the day. I would have even paid out of my own pocket for a few tantric oral lingam massage sessions with such a dickdrainer.
Coming back from my Nuru fantasies to Diamond, the best part of the show was when she was in Hang Tough where you could see every inch of her porn body. She always did it so effortlessly and gracefully and I bet she could have given Spider - Man a few pointers about web - swinging.
Her opponent, Michelle " Rack Attack " Ramelot ( with a name that sounds like rammed a lot I´m sure she got worse nicknames than this ), also has nice airbags and I bet a lot of the guys dreamed of being in the middle of that sandwich while venting their sexual frustration pounding their exhausted girlfriend´s / fiancee´s / wife´s / secretary´s / teacher´s / co - ed´s / house maid´s / step sister´s brains out without mercy.
There is not a man on the western hemisphere whose loins were not afire and growing rapily when watching Diamond climb all over her opponent while wishing she would rub her body all over him - only to be interrupted when she finally managed to bring the contestants down.
Just when you had reached the point where you were hard enough to cut diamonds ( I may be permitted a small play of words here ) it was all over and with a bit of luck you had managed to record it with your vcr.
While you can watch the full episode 13 of season four and we have Diamond going up against Michelle Ramelot in Hang Tough at 18:55 minutes. Diamond is also one of the three female gladiators in Powerball at 33:45 minutes but there are no mamm - orable moments in that one.
We come to episode 15 of season 4 with Diamond in Assault at 23:50 minutes with a little feature on Erika with some footage of her in a black bikini. Diamond is also in Breakthrough & Conquer at 4:45 minutes with an incredible close up boobie flex - one for the ages - at 6:05 minutes while we don't get to see much of her in Sky Track around 10:25 minutes.
Our third prime example of Diamond in Assault is at 16:50 minutes of episode 22 of season 4 with some pokie action. On top of that we have Diamond in Powerball at 9:00 mins with her famous warm up boob flex.
Now we already have seven full episodes at this point and usually my limit with tv episodes from one series is one - five under very special circumstances - so we are well beyond my regular episode limit but I want to include another one so that I have all the breast episodes with Diamond in one post just in case I don't get to make a follow up feature.
We already have all the other snippets with Diamond from the video above in the previous episodes but we are still missing the part from the preview picture and Diamond's breast part is in episode 5 of season 4 at about 32:50 minutes in a promo for Human Cannonball which starts at 35:00 minutes with a nice victory pose boob shaking at 35:35 minutes.
Diamond is also one of the three gladiators in Powerball right at the beginning of the episode with some bouncing action and in Breakthrough & Conquer at 5:15 minutes with her signature warm up chest pumps. The episode also has a small feature on gladiator Siren who is deaf at 20:15.
Now I have to cut this short and leave the rest of the Diamond episodes from season 4 for the next time but not before including another video that tells you everything about the history of American Gladiators. I also have to mention that in my opinion American Gladiators was one of the most feminist shows of the 90s because it not only showed women of different body types as beautiful and athletic it also did not treat the female contenders as less worthy than the male participants by having them compete in the same disciplines instead of making up different disciplines for the men and the women like some of the modern shows.
Last but not least there is something the video doesn't mention - maybe they don't know - which is that in Germany we got a fugly muppet on steroids to host the show and I don't know for the life of me why. Why ?
Anyway, American Gladiators and DD Diamond was one of the best things in the 90s and if this show with male and female gladiators at the peak of human condition who look like gods don't fit right into a post about Thor, the nordic god of thunder and lightning I don't know what does.
Speaking of powerful beings, we continue our series about those famous ads that appeared in the american comicbooks I had ( back when I had a comicbook collection ) with 1980s Power Lords. Which also had a three issue tie in mini series from DC Comics written by Michael Fleischer and some early pencils by Mark Texeira and for more Mark Texeira artwork just check out my upcoming Mark Texeira GHOST RIDER spotlight post .
TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE : SUPERMAN BLUE AND SUPERMAN RED
Since I mentioned the Zap Superman in the Ron Frenz link section here is a video by our good pal Crayton about where you can find the complete saga ( including the Superman Red / Superman Blue part ) in the german comics for those that missed it and are interested to find out what the hullabaloo is about and if it is really as bad as some make it out to be.
For me personally this was a very interesting idea because if you can see beyond the gimmick it is basically a story that ponders the question what exactly makes Superman a super man. Is it his persona or is it his powers ? And would he still be our Superman if he had a different set of powers ?
What defines us as persons ? So it is really a What If ? or Elseworlds saga but it is taking place in continuity. Sadly the story was cut short because of an upcoming anniversary so we had to get Clark into his familiar duds and restore his classic look and super powers but it was an interesting deconstruction of one of the biggest cultural icons of the 20th century.
JUSTICE LIKE LIGHTNING - ENTER MARVEL'S MIGHTY THUNDERBOLTS
From Thunderstrike it is not far to Thunderbolts, one of the best series Marvel Comics has published that also had one of THE best unexpected twists at the end of the first issue ( and which I won't spoil because you either already know it and love it or you will find out in the video ) where I was jealous that it landed on my brother's pull list and not mine.
But I got to read his issues and he really deserved to get first dibs on the book because he was a much bigger Mark Bagley fan than I was and so suffered through the dreadful second clone saga. Man, that was a rough patch. Anyway, with the way Panini translated the comics back then ( I have written about one of their worst translations in this post ) I was really surprised that they did not call the comicbook ZUNDERBOLZEN.
From Marvel Comics Masters Of Evil we come to Monsters - the tv show that is - and regular blog visitors may remember that I already posted the episode with mega stacked 42D - 22 - 36 blaxploitation icon Pam Grier in my first spotlight post on classic Warren Comics VAMPIRELLA .
So Today it's the turn of all natural 40D - 25 - 36 Busenwunder Adrienne Barbeau a.k.a. the biggest boobs on 70s sitcom best known as one of the Lamborghini babes from Cannonball Run and someday I might even get to post the episode featuring the 42C - 24 - 38 sexxx - orcist Linda Blair .
ADRIENNE BARBEAU SAYS : DON'T GO POKIN' IN THE OKEFENOKEE !
Longtime readers know that one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .
But as much as I like to feature these squirtstorm guaranteeing sweaty skin flick sensations, born - for - porn leg spreading dicktamers, stripper pole polishing pros and talented tittilating torrid teenage teasers I don´t always have the time, space or even necessary material to feature them properly and have to console myself with re - visiting them on the few occassions where I get to mention these babes or on their next birthday.
Now if you have seen Cannonball Run you will remember the waitress with the extra - large double whoppers in the opening scene whose name is not in the opening credits, in the end credits or on any internet page ( and believe me fella, I´ve looked ). Well, just recently I found a clip with some scenes of Farrah Fawcett from the movie and her scene is also in there. So far I just called her Busenwunder Waitress but now I can tell you that her real name is Vickie Reigle. Now in Germany Vickie is not a good name for a woman - just ask german singer Nikki who had to suffer a lot of dirty jokes because of her name ( what rhymes with " Nikki ? " ).
Adrienne also guest starred in Teacher's Aide from the 80s Twilight Zone tv show - which I included in my Halloween post about EC Comics Al Feldstein and you can read more about cult siren Adrienne Barbeau - as well as Bendis SUPERMAN and DC Comics SWAMP THING in this 2019 post.
And speaking of SWAMP THING, Today we have a double feature with a review of and the full Swamp Thing movie by Wes Craven. Attentive visitors to TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN might remember that I already included this movie in a previous post but since the second Swamp Thing movie I posted just recently has already been deleted from YouTube I'll keep re - posting the movies as long as I can find them in good quality.
I know that there are people who like the second one better because of the overall campy atmosphere and the better special effects but give me Adrienne Barbeau over Heather Locklear any day. They had Penthouse Pet of the Month Monique Gabrielle in it who catapulted herself into the top ranks of cult sirens with her performance in Emanuelle 5 but they didn´t give her much to do. Would it have hurt so much to have a scene where the two annoying boys we have to suffer throughout the entire movie peek at her naked ? Or at least let Monique wander around in her underwear or a bikini. What a blatant misuse of grade - a babe material.
In any case, here is the movie for your enjoyment although I think they cut out Adrienne Barbeau's nude parts to avoid the age restriction on YouTube. And don't worry guys, we will meet up with Monique Gabrielle as well as Adrienne Barbeau further down the bonus section of this post.
BEFORE HARRY POTTER AND KRABAT THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE
Coming back to the realm of myths and folklore we are taking a look at Disney's The Sword In The Stone which was called The Witch And The Wizard in Germany - probably because one of the highlights of the movie is a wizard's duel between Merlin and the evil Madame Mim which is the part everyone remembers even if he doesn't remember anything else - and it is listed here as an underrated classic. Which sounds strange to me because back in the day all the kids were anxiously awaiting the next animated Walt Disney movie and then everybody would watch them so everybody from my generation has probably seen it. Since we just had a movie about the Arthurian legend a while ago I won't mention that the movie makes the same mistake most movies about King Arthur make ( the sword in the stone is not Excalibur since Arthur received Excalibur AFTER he broke the sword he pulled out of the stone ) and only add that I always liked the films from this phase as they were still drawn by hand.
Maybe I am just weird or maybe it is nostalgia but I prefer a good old fashioned hand drawn animated movie - even if it is not perfect - to most of the computer generated animated movies. Not that there is something inherently wrong with them - a lot of them are really well done - but it just give you a special feeling when you see a movie that was done 100 percent by hand without using any computer programs. As something of an artist myself I can appreciate the craftsmanship in that.
Speaking of craftsmanship, I don't get to write about Walt Disney movies that often so I wanted to use the opportunity to add a funny behind the scenes video about how they did voices and sound effects back then.
While it would have been nice to include a classic Walt Disney movie in this bonus section there are of course none on YouTube. What I did find however is a new Mickey Mouse cartoon show I didn't even know existed.
Of course they make a new version for the younger generations because sadly they are not used to the looks of the classic cartoons so to most of them they look kind of wrong. That's one of the things I noticed watching the Teens / Kids React videos ( I guess I don't have to explain to regular blog visitors what the other thing is ) that they are so used to Today's computer generated 3d cartoons that everything else is labelled as bad animation even if it is actually of a higher artistic quality. But I guess every generation has its own set values with which it judges everything.
Speaking of new things for new generations when I initially added the following video ( which for the me from the future that is writing this words was 10 months ago ) it was just a nice segueway to our next cult siren feature as Martin Short - one of the most underrated entertainers in showbiz - teams up with country super star Shania Twain to do one of THE best renditions of a Disney song. But now there have been several attempts to bring old Disney classics to the big screen in a live action version ( since I have not seen most of them I am not going to comment on the quality of those films ) and the question I have is how can this be so good and how can it be that nobody at Disney seems to understand why this works and how it can be applied to the new movie versions ?
I FEEL LIKE A MAN LOOKING AT SHANIA WHO FEELS LIKE A WOMAN !
But that will be a topic for another post ( quite literal since I already included a video of the new live action adaptions in one of my upcoming posts, and yes, I am keeping it vague on purpose just in case the original video is deleted so I can replace it ) while we focus on positive things and one of these is most definitely canadian cock drainer Shania Twain.
Whom I mentioned before so - as I tend to do when I have written about somebody or something - I went back to avoid always writing about the same things but it seems I have not written that much about her at all.
I distinctively remember that I planned to elaborate more on her but apparently I never got around to do it like a lot of things on this blog.
The only thing I have mentioned so far seems to be her music video Man, I Feel Like A Woman and very little beyond that. And make no mistake, I am also including it here because even though I have already included it in previous posts it does not count as a re - post if I find a new version in a higher quality. But we will come to that later on. Okay, Shania Twain.
Why do I suddenly feel like I am in the episode of Rick And Morty with the floating alien alien head where it goes " Show me what you got. " ?
Anyways, I probably don't have to explain how mega successful she is since she didn't get the title of " Queen Of Country Pop " for nothing and she is not only the best selling female artist in country music history but her third album " Come On Over " from 1997 is recognized by Guinness World Records as the biggest - selling studio album by a female artist.
Speaking of nicknames and titles, when I went looking for some pictures I could add to this little mini featurette ( as frequent visitors of the blog know my old picture archive self destructed ) I came across her cover for Rolling Stone and I was very surprised to see her billed as " the girl next door ". Okay, apparently that is the kind of image she is giving off - probably because her boner inducing 40C - 22 - 36 measurements are all natural - but in which kind of neighbourhood does the guy who wrote this live that such ultimate sexbombs like Shania Twain are living next door ?
I guess it must be a strip club which would make kind of sense since country rock musician Steve Earle famously labelled Shania Twain " the world's highest paid lapdancer " because of her sexy music videos which apparently were too much for the old country and western gatekeepers.
Which I guess means that Steve knows a lot about country music but also about lapdancers because to tell you the truth I couldn't tell you what a lapdancer makes in a day so I would have no idea if Shania Twain earns more or less than the highest paid lapdancer - who doesn't sing. Which is probably even more difficult to find out now with the way female singers have been getting more and more risquee and explicit in their videos.
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Anyway, back to what I was saying, as somebody who only had Shania Twain on his radar because of her music videos on Mtv. That's right, this was in my Mtv watching days when you could still watch music videos and cartoon / anime shows on Mtv. Plus I was a big fan of their dance show The Grind because of the many sexy non - professional female dancers on that show and you can read more about that in these posts .
I never knew about the whole controversy that when Shania started out some people neither liked her blend of country and western music with other genres like pop nor her sexy way to dress or her music videos.
Which from Today's standards look pretty tame ( that said " Man, I Feel Like A Woman " is still a very arousing video but more on that later on ) but for the times were deemed way too sensual and a lot of her critics complained that she used her sex appeal to sell records. Well, in the words of the poets " If you got it flaunt it. " or " Those that can do, and those that can't complain. " Aside from an interloper who disrupted the status quo of the genre Shania was heavily criticised for her revealing clothing and in particular for exposing her midriff section so much which was subsequentially labelled as " the most famous midriff in Nashville ".
Isn't it funny how often people are accused of endangering the status quo as if that was a good thing ? I think most achievements in history came out of somebody changing the status quo although what may be good on a grand scale may not always be good on a small scale. Maybe it's just me but in the past few years I have made the observation that most of the changes in my personal life have not been for the better.
But like I said, we want to focus on positive things so let's get back to Shania Twain. Back then I was still living in Germany - which should be obvious but I am mentioning it to put things in perspective - and country music was not a very popular music genre amongst the broad masses and for a country star to make waves up there it really took a lot of effort.
I don't know how this happened because I remember hearing a lot of american - and german - country music from groups or artists like Willie Nelson, John Denver, Dave Dudley or Truck Stop. I dare you to mention Truck Stop to anybody from my generation and they will remember such songs like " Take it easy altes Haus " or " Ich moecht so gern Dave Dudley hoern " which everybody knew even if they were not country music fans.
But for some reason country music lost a lot of prominence in Germany. I have no idea if that was because it did not get as much airplay time on the radio but somehow it faded out of the collective consciousness and it took a really big hit to make it popular again. Which brings us back to Shania Twain. Ah, I can almost hear all my readers sighing with relief since they were starting to wonder if I would ever get back to our topic.
But that is what always happens when I can't copy / paste material I've already written and start diving into my memories of the days of glory.
Now with Shania Twain I can admit that I don't know that much about her so I had to rely on wikipedia and other sources of information but on the other side I don't want to copy her entries there. Because what would be the point of that ? Maybe one day I will have the time and material to do a full blown cult siren ( which in her case is meant quite literally ) post but until then I am trying to keep it short and just mention a few of my observations. Especially since this part is already getting way too long.
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And too detailed. One thing I mentioned a few times is her song " That Don´t Impress Me Much " which I always found to be very hypocritical because first she lists all these things that according to her are not the way to impress her like good looks, a fancy car, money or a job with a certain social status and then she went and married her producer who probably had all of the above. Plus he could help in her music career.
Which teaches us that if women say that certain things don´t impress them they mean these things alone. BUT if you have them coupled with something they can profit from then it´s a whole new ball game amigo.
Like I said, that is my personal impression based on my own experiences with women over the years and maybe I am totally off and reading too much into it and it may have nothing to do with Shania Twain herself.
Like the old saying goes " Do what I say not what I do. " Which brings us to the video I have to mention without fail before wrapping things up.
Man I Feel Like A Woman is without a doubt Shania Twain's breast video even after all this time and the biggest proof of that is that Mtv felt the need to censor it because apparently her exotic centerfold body ( sadly she never did pose for PLAYBOY even though she was clearly born for porn ) for which Shania Twain can thank her irish and french descend was too much to subject their unsuspecting male viewers before midnight.
Shania was the first country artist to fully understand and exploit Mtv's style and possibilities by cultivating a sexy video orientated image that appealed to both country and pop audiences and it's funny that a lot of her critics accused her of having not much to offer besides her obvious sex appeal and that she was using her sexy videos to sell her records.
Which I found a bit archaic since international sexbombs like british 40D - 24 - 33 bra buster Samantha Fox a.k.a. the world's most famous page 3 girl and italian 40D - 24 - 36 milking machine Sabrina " Bouncing Action " Salerno had used the same old tried and true formula a decade earlier.
Just to give you an idea how far behind the times those country boys are. Anyway, in the case of her erection inducing music video Man I Feel Like A Woman the sex symbol who had been a timid tomboy in school ( thankfully she filled out quite nicely much to the chagrin of her former classmates who would have loved to have Shania Twain as part of the cheerleading squad so they could dicktame the living blow up sex doll without mercy ) learned that Mtv may turn as quickly against you if they think your videos are dangerous for their audience. Although I am sure that having the video only be on heavy rotation after midnight made it even more popular with the male viewers since that was better than not getting to see Shania's breast parts. So it worked for her in the long run.
Coming to spanish singer / actress / tv presenter Edurne she does rip off her jacket and shirt during her live performance of Shania Twain´s smash hit Man, I Feel Like A Woman on Tu Cara Me Suena but everybody who has seen the video knows that Edurne is wearing a corsage underneath.
Which her heaving busom fills out quite nicely. She became known in Spain as a candidate on the casting show Operacion Triunfo in 2006 and as part of the cast of Mas Que Baile, the spanish version of Strictly Come Dancing and she has gone on to present the tv program Todo Va Bien and represent the country of Spain at the Eurovision Song Contest 2015 with her song Amanecer. Edurne has now come full circle as she is one of the judges on Got Talent España. By the way I have mentioned it in previous posts where I added videos from Tu Cara Me Suena but this show is not the same as Lip Synch Battle so besides dressing up and having to do a spot on celebrity impersonation all of the contestants are singing live.
By the way, if anybody knows from where the picture below of Shania Twain wearing a dress with a simply staggering cleavage is it would be much appreciated if you could let me know in the comments below.
After so much sex appeal we need a breather before our next cult siren and so we continue our series about Krabat with a video for my german audience about the life and times of sorbian author Jurij Brezan who wrote the original Krabat books. Which are quite different then the book by Ottfried Preussler which every kid in Germany had to read in school.
As promised we return to Monique Gabrielle ( and you can read more about her in my second birthday post in tribute to James Robinson from 2020 ) with Deathstalker II where she gets to feature her breast ass - ets much better than in the aforementioned Return Of Swamp Thing movie.
Which is no wonder since the second Deathstalker movie was directed by none other than Russ Meyer fan Jim Wynorski so it's no surprise all the nasty bits in this review had to be covered up. Speaking of nasty bits, I have to give a shoutout to Toni Naples who plays Sultana and surprisingly doesn't have a nude scene in the film despite being built like a pornstar.
Speaking of incredible sexbombs, strangely enough the last time I did mention german cult siren Sandra was in the aforementioned post where I did the THOR movie casting for ultimate beachbody Hannah Palmer but since I already mentioned Sabrina Salerno and Samantha Fox it's only fitting to include my third 80s pop crush that starts with the letter " S ".
She was one of the biggest pop stars in Germany during the 80s and 90s ( she sold over 30 million records worldwide ) and she started her career as lead singer of the pop trio Arabesque before she was discovered by music producer Michel Cretu who launched her solo career. He married her and strangely enough celebrates his birthday on the same day as her.
The video I posted was with Sandra's band Arabesque but only one song and in low quality. Well here we have better quality and 18 of her hits.
RAGNA ROCK AND ROLL AROUND THE CLOCK WITH WALTER SIMONSON
Like I mentioned earlier, finding videos about the Tom DeFalco / Ron Frenz THOR run is pretty difficult so I wanted to include something that still ties in somehow to the nordic god of thunder even if it is not the version that is published by Marvel Comics. One THOR run that is not only beloved by comicbook afficionados and critics alike but above that considered one of the best runs that can stand up to the original comics by Stan Lee ( we don't want to forget his contribution especially since his part in the creation of the Marvel universe is often downplayed because the media focuses so much on him ) and Jack Kirby is Walter Simonson's run on THOR but that is not the only Thor comic Walter did.
Like Jack Kirby before him - who took his ideas about the Ragnarok of the norse gods and what came after to DC Comics to create his FOURTH WORLD epos after Marvel Comics didn't let him implement them in the monthly THOR comicbooks - Walt Simonson did his own version of a THOR comicbook at IDW under the title RAGNAROCK. My brother had the first two hardcovers and I am not going to say too much about it but if you like Walter Simonson's art and the nordic myths you will love this book.
YOU DON'T KNOW JACK or HOW MANY ( AUTO ) LICKUS DOES IT TAKE ?
With as many different books Jack Kirby did at Marvel Comics and DC Comics you could say that he was kind of a Jack Of All Trades which is my not so subtle segueway to our next video because there actually exists a show of that very name which I have to preface with the warning that it does not tie in to the Jack character that spun out of the FABLES comicbook series from Bill Willingham who had his own spin - off series.
Like me you have probably never heard of the Jack Of All Trades tv show so luckily Forgotten Television has a video on the subject to educate us.
Jack Of All Trades stars Bruce Campbell who is probably best known for his role as Ash in the Evil Dead franchise or Sam Axe in the sadly very underrated tv espionage series Burn Notice which I can't stop pimping.
Now I know that a lot of people say that they don´t understand what that show is all about which I find really perplexing because it has a pretty straightforward plot compared to a lot of other tv shows which have far more complicated plots but which obviously nobody has a problem with. So I will - once again - explain the basic plot and maybe somebody out there can tell me what is difficult to understand about it.
First up what is a burn notice ? Well, according to the show it is spy code for when a spy agency disavows a spy - mostly because he has failed on a mission or the mission parameters have changed or for whatever reason - and cuts all ties to them. Maybe you have seen the Mission Impossible tv show from the 70s with Leonard Nimoy or the movies with Tom Cruise.
Remember the part about " As always, should you or any member of your IM Force be caught or killed the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. " from Mission Impossible ? Well, that is what happens to our main character. He is on a mission when suddenly he gets the burn notice and without any resources or funding from the agency he is stuck in his current location. Which luckily for him and everybody involved is Miami which means we can have a lot of bikini clad sexbombs without further explanation like ultimate 40D - 24 - 34 bikini busting brunette Busenwunder Charisma Carpenter in the 11th episode of season five.
Cult tv bikini sexbomb Charisma Carpenter is best known as Cordelia Chase on Buffy and the spin off Angel although Today´s kids may better know her from her recurring role on Veronica Mars which means they missed a lot of scorching bikini scenes with Charisma´s 40D beach balls.
One of these days I´ll have to get the first season of Veronica Mars to find out how it all started since I came in at the tailend of that season - as usual. Besides Veronica Mars Charisma was in the aforementioned episode of Burn Notice where she showed she still can deliver the goods.
In Germany only the first three seasons of Burn Notice have come out on DVD and right now I´m halfway through season 2. I´m not sure if I should wait any longer to see if they will do the rest someday or just get them through imports. Now that I´m invested I want to know how it plays out and there is even a spin off with Bruce Campbell´s character Sam. In any case Charisma´s funbags alone are worth the price of admission. Daimn !
Okay, we have to get back to the plot of Burn Notice but Holy Hooter Paradise, Batman ! I wanna spend my next vacation ( if I ever get to have a vacation again ) between those two mouthwatering melons.
Right. Burn Notice. So our main guy is marooned in Miami without any funds, contacts and any explanation why he got disavowed. So he tries to find out why he got the burn notice in the first place BUT since he has no money he has to take the odd job to help people out. And the only contacts he has is an old spy acquaintance - played by Bruce Campbell - who is also working for the federales to spy on him and an ex girlfriend who knows all about guns and bombs who is a terrorist and has ties to the IRA. Not that complicated a plot I think. I mean, if you look at it 90 percent of all action tv shows are about persons who had a job, then quit or were fired and had to do odd jobs to make ends meet and who have adventures along the way. Most of them have another layer added like they used to belong to a ninja clan, or work for a super secret spy agency or the government but I don't see how the premise of Burn notice is different from Raven, Magnum : P. I. , The Ninja Master or Dark Angel.
But that's not what I want to talk about Today. Bruce Campbell also played the popular character of Autolycus on Xena : Warrior Princess and on Hercules : The Legendary Journeys. In the latter one he was in one of the breast episodes ever with 40C - 27 - 37 bodybuilding Busenwunder Cory Everson as Atalante who sadly only appeared in two more episodes.
Because in episode 16 of season 2 called " Let The Games Begin " Cory plays the role of hot MILF aunt. Her nephew Damon is the typical bored juvenile delinquent who doesn´t pay his aunt Atalante much attention - until she not only turns out to be an old acquaintance of Hercules but a total sexbomb. Which is revealed when during an attack her robes are ripped off to reveal her chiseled boner - inducing physique that is only barely covered by what looks like a cross between a greek battle suit for Aphrodite and a special sado maso outfit right from Victoria´s Secret.
This immediately jumpstarts not only Damon´s puberty but also his sexual obsession with his hot aunt. Which tells us two things. One, the idea of having sex with your aunt may be older than we think and two, while being a lazy juvenile delinquent in training he's not a peeping Tom.
Because you know that if Damon had spotted Atalante soaping up her playmate bikin body under the shower he would have spent all his time trying to get her drunk enough to tie her to his bed and bang her brains out six ways to Sunday. Keeping in mind that he´s at that age when you can stay hard for days he would have a field day / week dicktaming his busty aunt with his giant monstercock until she is his obedient sex slave.
He would not know his own strength and a less experienced girl would be seriously hurt but with Atalante being in the peak physical condition she is in she would not only remain unharmed but even moreso enjoy getting slam - fucked many positions in by her nephew´s relentless horsecock.
The plot of the episode is that Hercules and Atalante initiate the olympic games to end the battles between the Spartans and the Eleans so Damon pretends to be interested in the games. But it´s all a ploy to check out his aunt like in the scene where they arm wrestle and he loses because Damon is too busy staring down her cleavage, drooling over her boobs.
But coming back to Bruce Campbell's character Autolycus, when it was announced that the network wanted to expand and that Bruce Campbell would get his own tv series everybody thought that was what they were going to get - The Autolycus TV Show - with the guy they love. But like all comicbook companies who take a popular character and then change everything that made them so popular in the first place until its almost unrecognizable the tv show did not star Autolycus. Instead it starred a different character named Jack who was basically the same character but in a different historical setting. As could be expected the Hercules and Xena fans were not amused and the series did not have as high ratings because it threw out its biggest potential for having success.
IF I HAD AN MC HAMMER I'D HAMMER IN THE MORNING I'D HAMMER ...
Hammer time ! Man, it had to happen at some point. You don't know how much I was waiting to include this in one of my THOR posts. But for the longest time I did not have the necessary material so I had to bide my time but finally the day has come when my two favourite hammer guys meet. Or at least are in the same post. And for those who still haven't figured it out I am talking about Thor the god of thunder and rapper MC Hammer. Who at one point was in a cartoon show called Hammerman.
And to tell you the truth, I knew of this cartoon - since there were some ads in comicbooks - but I don't think I have seen any episodes. Thankfully that huge gap in pop culture knowledge can be fixed and for my non - spanish speaking friends you can find a few original episodes on YouTube.
Now MC Hammer's career has had its ups and downs ( and if there are people out there who have no idea who he is get ready because you are in for one huge rabbit hole dive about which I am only going to say : " Can't touch this. " ) but since we like to focus on the positive here I am including the breast music video from the zenith of MC Hammer's musical career with some talented nubian rumpshakers. In fact this video is so good that the uncensored version was only shown on Mtv after midnight.
Speaking of dicktaming sexbombs who could earn a real fortune on the stripper pole, while El Intermedio is on before midnight that doesn't take away from real life Power Girl Sandra Sabates sex appeal ( unfortunately I could not find out her measurements so if somebody can help me out in that department please let me know in the comments below ) which is almost oozing through the screen. Initially I wanted to say that it has been a hot minute since the last appearance on the blog of the ultimate wet sex dream of the entire spanish nation but so far she hasn't gotten her little showcase so I am including the breast videos I have of her right now in the hopes of being able to post more of her in the near future.
Speaking of women who were clearly born for porn but through a cruel twist of fate never made adult movies - at least not in the xxx - rated kind - I promised you we would return to Adrienne Barbeau and just so that the spanish speaking part of my audience doesn't feel left out we have another review of a cult classic with this brabusting brunette cult siren : Escape From New York ( or how it was called in Germany The Rattlesnake since Kurt Russell's character's name in the movie is Snake Plissken ) directed by her then husband John Carpenter. Who is one hell of a lucky guy because he got to bang Adrienne's brains out six ways to Sunday for five years. One of the breast parts of the movie are Adrienne Barbeau's massive melons who look even bigger than usual in what must be one of the most plunging cleavages in science fiction movie history.
Even Drago Dolph Lundgren can't help checking out Adrienne Barbeau's bonerinducing boobs. But seriously, I just had to place Dark Angel a.k.a. Angel De La Muerte directly under this video because it really lookes like Dolph is sneaking a peek at Adrienne's perfectly shaped sweater puppies.
Man, Today we really are having a best of video store revival with such classics like Walhalla, Swamp Thing, Deathstalker II and now Dark Angel.
And I don't want to diminish Dark Angel by calling it a best of video store contender but 1990 was just a great year for action movies. As proof of that here are the top 10 action movies of 1990 for my german audience.
Speaking of hot contenders, we are continuing our series of videos from the Miss Korea Bikini competition but we are shifting from 2019 ( where Lim So Young won and there will be a solo post about her along the line ) to the year 2020. Where we start right of the bat with the second one who comes in in the jokey outfit because she is one lean mean men - milking machine if I have ever seen one. Homina, homina, homina. I bet she knows all about dicktaming wild stallions. I would like to use her for an asian insemination weekend as my personal breed mare. Now as hot as she is my personal favourite comes in at 5:27 minutes ( the sexbomb on the right side of the preview picture with the bow and arrow ) who not only has a fantastic bubblebutt ( and that's saying a lot since all girls in this competition have asses that won't quit ) but that sideboob at 5:43 minutes, daiiimn girl ! That's what I call having convincing ASS - ets.
It's no wonder she was one of the three finalists although she did not win. I have to say that the fencing outfit the first girl in this video chose ( the mega busty blow up sex doll below on the left side of the preview picture ) didn't do her any favours because it completely hid her boobs.
You can see in the bikini round what a huge rack she has and if she hasn't had them made those giant gazongas are even more impressive. I can't imagine the amount of throbbing monstercocks that have squirted hard without end while being massaged by those massive mega mammaries !
Speaking of monsters and coming back to the topic of this post, maybe some of the more knowledgeable readers out there may remember that time when Thor was turned into a frog ( by his brother Loki so Loki could become the leader of Asgard like evil gods tend to do ). Well, here we have a movie about evil frog monsters plus the same swamp setting as in the Swamp Thing. You see, everything comes full circle in these posts.
This video on the other hand does not tie into anything in this post.
There are some performances of the MDR Fernsehballett where it is appropriate for some posts because of the song or the costumes but that is not always the case so sometimes I am just going through the list, starting with the best ones and leaving the more weaker ones for last.
Also with all the other videos with hot sexbombs focusing on big breasts and bootylicious butts we also have to give equal time to dem sexy legs.
Apropos overdeveloped oppai queens, we have our next batch of videos with real life Power Girl Sonia Edde. By the way, just a small reminder : I still could not find out her measurements so if anybody has more info on our chzech blow up sex doll please let me know in the comments below.
Last but surely not least we are closing out this pop culture trivia / cult siren section of the post with an episode of Un, Dos, Tres, Responda Otra Vez which has become something of a fixture and there were a few that might have fit the bill but I went with the one with the highest quality.
New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
Odin !
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