The reason why it took me so long to do this tangent post is that I had to finish a whole slew of other posts first including four brand new Yaya Han posts, seven posts in honor of PLAYBOY founder Hugh Hefner, a MOVIE RUMMAGE TABLE special with Steven Seagal and a new version of Marlene Mourreau´s cult siren entry . Which took longer than originally expected.
Because of all the life stuff one has to take care of because of the corona virus. Anyway, you might ask yourself why I did so many posts but the gist of it is that it is much easier to put everything including the kitchen sink into a post and then cut it up into sizeable chunks that become posts of their own than write one post and then keep adding to it because it was too short. Not that I don´t do my share of adding once the part from a previous post has become its own spin - off. And even if it does not sound logical it is also easier for me to finish up all the side posts first - no matter how long that may take - and then dive into the next long post.
So for reasons that will become obvious in the bonus section this post is all about Neil Gaiman´s brilliant SANDMAN comicbook and since we left off in our last SANDMAN post with Neil Gaiman´s incorporation of Jack Kirby´s Sandman superhero into his new series that´s where we pick off our trail.
We will come back to the topic of the SANDMAN universe in the bonus section and we are diving right into the celebrity anniversaries of the day for April the 11th with german Übersexbombe Ruth Moschner who turns 44. She got plenty of exposure - although not in the naked PLAYBOY pictorial way me and the rest of Germany´s horny males hoped for - since she started her career on Freitag Nacht News. Which was as much critique on politics and politicians as you are ever going to see on german tv sets.
Unlike America, where you have shows like The Daily Show where politicians are called out for their bs in Germany you can only do that as long as it´s supposed to be in the form of a joke or satire. Any real deconstruction of politicians gets you taken off tv very quickly.
Anyway, back to Ruth Moschner, despite playing Secret Agent DD on Freitag Nacht News for the longest time she was very secretive about her breastsize and the only thing she admitted was that it used to be more.
Now I have found a site that claims that Ruth Moschner is a B cup at best which is hard to believe when you have seen her titanic teutonic twin torpedoes in action. Well, if the website is right Ruth Moscher´s real measurements are 87 - 65 - 92 which for readers in the US are 34 - 26 - 36.
Who was indeed naked in an issue of PLAYBOY ( and who would have been in my seven part Hugh Hefner tribute post if I had only known it back then ) is Canada´s sexport Tricia Helfer who celebrates her 46th birthday.
The blonde blow up sex doll of german, norwegian and swedish descent really put the fiction in science as the Cylon sexmachine Model Six on the reimagined Battlestar Galactica show thanks to her 34C - 24 - 34 hardbody.
One of Tricia Helfer´s co - stars was one of the hottest hasians on tv, korean knockout Grace Park who turned guys crazy on Hawaii Five O. She played the toaster every male would love to use for breakfast in bed.
One of the things that always bugged me on Battlestar Galactica was the idea that the humans created the cylons. Although it would explain why two of the models were such hot sexbombs like Tricia Helfer and Grace Park. On the other side the cylons would never had to go to war against the humans because if you have an unlimited amount of copies of Tricia Helfer and Grace Park there is no male human who can resist you. I guess those toasters were still lacking in basic knowledge about horny humans.
Because there was an episode of Third Rock From The Sun where they tried to gain control of the world´s governments by sending in a squad of women who all looked like hot swimsuit models and when you have seen this episode and know that the toasters on Galactica have hot models like Tricia Helfer and Grace Park it makes the whole war against humanity and death to humans and violence thing seem unnecessary and over the top.
Speaking about Grace Park, right now they are showing the episodes of Hawaii Five - O without her and Daniel Dae Kim in Germany. And I have really tried to give the new team a chance but it´s just not the same.
Or better I WAS watching the episodes but it looks like the guys from SAT1 are determined to make it more and more difficult for me. That´s the network that shows the new Hawaii episodes first and it was on Tuesday.
Here in Germany the evening news are generally on at eight o´clock in the evening on all channels so 20.15 hours is when every movie or tv series starts. So in the beginning it was two episodes of NCIS - which is a show my Mom watches religiously and I kind of became addicted - followed by an episode of NCIS L.A. and one episode of Hawaii Five - O. Then they got rid of the NCIS L.A. episode and showed two episodes of Hawaii Five - O, at first two new one then a new one and an old one. So for the longest time Tuesday was one of the few days left when I still watched regular tv.
Then they started the new season of MacGyver and got rid of NCIS and NCIS L.A. altogether. And I thought " Okay, what I have seen of the new MacGyver show hasn´t been that bad and they have sex support babe Tristin Mays - who also has french, indian and african roots - to keep the male viewers hooked with her all natural 35C - 24 - 35 measurements so why not ? " Because her role is basically what the black dude, Wilt Bozer does but she can provide ample cleavage whenever things get too boring.
They also had the extremely big breasted afro - american aphrodite Reign Edwards on the show but I guess her all natural 36D - 24 - 36 pornstar body was just too hot for tv because they couldn´t get rid of her fast enough.
Anyway, now we were up to two episodes of MacGyver followed by the brand new show Reef Break ( with brabusting 38D - 24 - 37 mega MILF Poppy Montgomery who would be perfect for the role of DC Comics Knockout ) and one episode of Hawaii Five - O. Then they changed the schedule again to one episode of each show but at least that means I can go to bed earlier, right ? Wrong. Last week they changed it again to just MacGyver and Reef Break and this week they started off at 20.15 with two hours of Celebrity Big Brother followed by two hours of Celebrity Big Brother - The Talk. I am really trying to find out what happened to Grace Park´s character of Kono on the show but I am fighting windmills here.
GIVING THE DEVIL HIS DUE or BETTER THE DEVIL YOU DON´T KNOW
Now the reason why I included this part is that it gives me a chance to write about one of my new favorite tv shows Lucifer where Tricia Helfer appeared in season 2. Now I don´t want to say too much about that because I don´t want to spoil anything and I want to write more about the show itself anyway. Which as some people may not know is based on a comicbook that spun out of the Sandman series written by Neil Gaiman.
As somewhat of a Neil Gaiman devotee I have written a few posts about him but if you never heard of Sandman you may check out my latest two posts on the series. Anyway, I always try to watch any adaption of Neil Gaiman´s work to movies and tv but after American Gods turned into a gay sausage party I was a bit reluctant to watch Lucifer. What didn´t help the matter was that - as Hollywood always does because Hollywood knows better than all the creative people who invented the damn thing in the first place and all the people who worked on it since - they made some changes to the story. This is not a spoiler because they say it in the first episode but our main protagonist is Lucifer Morningstar, a.k.a. the devil.
And because he sees himself as the good guy - which is the reason why he uses the name of Morningstar instead of one of the other names there are for the devil - he always dresses in white. But of course the tv people had to change it to black and totally screw up how Lucifer presents himself.
I don´t know why the movie and tv people always have to put characters in black that don´t dress in black in the comicbooks. It´s just ridiculous.
Shouldn´t they be going for diversity ( pun intended ) instead of making everybody look the same ? Anyway, so there was that and I wasn´t going to give the Lucifer tv show the light of day but then he had a cameo in the CW´s Crisis On Infinite Earths crossover event ( kudos for keeping that guest appearance under wraps ) where he looked like an interesting character. So I bought the first two seasons as a Christmas gift last year and because I don´t like to give presents unseen I watched the episodes.
Now I was ready to hate the series but I loved it and the main reason for that is Tom Ellis who plays Lucifer and who really kills it. He can perfectly do funny, sexy, angry, serious and everything inbetween and the one brilliant thing is that they made the whole show about Lucifer and his Daddy issues because that is something we can all relate to. The rest of the cast is equally brilliant - including Tricia Helfer - but Tom Ellis is just too much. Plus he is a really great singer. So far I have watched the first four seasons and I have heard that a lot of people think the third season is the worst but I was just too happy to see Tom Welling again ( who also appeared in SMALLVILLE and the aforementioned CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS crossover ) to care. I guess one big thing why I enjoy Lucifer so much is that I never actually read the comicbook so I don´t know what else they have changed. In any case this series has my seal of approval.
The longest videos about Lucifer are compilations, trailers like the one above or reaction videos to the episodes but even those can get taken down and I wanted to include a longer video with Tom Ellis. And as coincidences would have it a few months ago I found an episode of the new Hercule Poirot show - which my Mom never gets tired of watching like everything by Agatha Christie - where Tom Ellis makes an appearance.
Now I always try to look at the positive side of things and since Grace Park is not on Hawaii Five - O anymore and Lucifer wrapped up with the fifth season they would both be available for a Battlestar Galactica reunion.
We are coming to somebody else who is blond, often dressed in bright colors and had Daddy issues, none other than second generation wrestler Dustin Rhodes a.k.a. Goldust who turns 51. Like our Lucifer Goldust was always accompanied by an ultimate sexbomb with a pornstar body that kicked ass, Marlena a.k.a. Terri Runnels, the original wrestling MILF before the term MILF was even invented. Torrid Terri always looked like the small version of a blow up sex doll - the travel version that fits in your suitcase.
She was always at Goldust´s side sucking seductively on a big cigar while every male in the audience fantasized about being in the cigar´s place getting some oral deepthroat lubrication from Terri. She also wasn´t above using her naked breasts to distract her man´s opponent although sadly none of these great moments of wrestling history were captured on film.
Another great television moment in wrestling history had to do with the consequences of a fight in which Golddust lost Terri Runnels to Flying Brian Pillman and all the wrestling fans wishes came true when he made her wear a skimpy leather porn outfit. I don´t know if he really used Terri like a fillipino prostitute in his hotel room to vent his uncontrollable sexual stamina and nobody´s talking about it so we can get no real confirmation.
The line between manager, valet and sex slave has always been blurry in wrestling and it is a well known fact that Arne Anderson used Tylene Buck as his personal blow up sex doll because he claimed he could help her with her career and other members of the NWO - no pun intended - like Scott Hall frequently used all the valets for shall we say recreational purposes.
Later on the degenerates from Misfits In Action subjected Tylene to all night sex position warfare and she really served under canadian Lance Storm who together with the other members of Team Canada tag teamed relentlessly pumping the busty blonde until she became a willing member.
It is also common knowledge that Billy Kidman drilled Torrie whenever he could while the rest of the Filthy Animals really lived up to the name by taking turns banging Torrie Wilson´s pornstar body into submission when they were on tour. Which was on three hundred ( that´s right, 300 !!! ) days of the year. Rumor has it Konan was especially eager at taming Torrie.
Besides participating in the usual badly shot WWE Diva videos like Divas in Hedonism , Divas Tropical Pleasure or Postcards from the Carribean ( the only WWE Diva video I can really recommend is Divas Undressed because the main part is a competition and therefore they could not screw this up ) another of Terri´s greatest moments in wrestling history was when she competed in the Miss Rumble Contest during the Royal Rumble in 2000.
Not only did she wear a suit that left little to the imagination - her entire backside was practically naked - she also knew what the audience wanted and leaned wide over the top rope to the point where she almost fell off.
I also have to give props to nubian sex goddess Jaqueline who seldom got as much play as she deserved for being an afro american wrestler with huge melons. Her swimsuit barely covered anything and her giant 38E milkshakes were in full effect. Of course the WWE had to ruin the end - like they do in most bikini, swimsuit, wet t - shirt or other Diva contests that could arouse their audience - by bringing on some old wrestling fossils. I don´t know why they have to be so giant erection stoppers.
And you can read more about the other NWO girls who also got bucknaked in the IRONMAN Swimsuit Spectacular videos like April Hunter in the second part of this year´s tribute to wrestling Sexbomber Tylene Buck .
And we are continuing with sexbombs on german tv with someone who has been on the blog before. Unlike Ruth Moschner Simone Thomalla who celebrates her 55th birthday has posed nude in PLAYBOY and she also showcased her physical attributes in various movies and the neverending crime show Tatort although she is most famous for participating in the ALS ice bucket challenge. She wore a very thin white shirt and as was to be expected her boobs were completely exposed. What was not expected was in which phenomenal shape her breasts were in and everybody was commenting on how fantastic they are for a woman of her age. Longtime readers may remember that I mentioned the whole thing in this post .
Simone was 49 at that time and there was a bit of a scandal - like always with these kind of things - and there were a lot of wild accusations from shameless self promotion ( which it was and it obviously worked ) to exhibitionism. Which sounds weird to me because where is the problem with a stunning looking woman getting naked ? It was a bit ridiculous since Simone Thomall had already been naked in PLAYBOY at that point anyway.
Speaking of which, while Simone Thomalla´s nude pictorial is spectacular she did make the mistake of not doing nude pictures at a younger age.
Our last birthday - or better anniversary - shoutout goes to the late Irv Novik and I have to confess that I was never the biggest fan of his work.
Nevertheless he was one of the artists who returned Batman to his gothic roots during the Bronze Age with writer Frank Robbins and besides illustrating many memorable stories of Batlore like Bruce Wayne Rest In Peace, The Ghost Of Wayne Mansion, The Ghost Who Haunted Batman, Shadow Of The Cat, The Cat Who Would Be King, This Way Lies Madness, Asylum Sinister, This One´ll Kill You, Batman ! or Angel Or Devil ? in Batman 216 which finally revealed butler Alfred´s last name he co - created the Ten - Eyed Man in Batman 226 and the Spook in Detective Comics 434 with Frank Robbins, launched the Denny O´Neil penned The Joker series and drew the introductions of future Teen Titans member Duela Dent in Batman Family 6 and the Electrocutioner in Batman 331.
You can find 13 Batman splash pages by Irv Novick from these iconic stories on 13TH DIMENSION and there are more celebrity birthdays from April the 11th that I didn´t address because I don´t have anything to add in my first Yaya Han birthday post from 2018 . Staying with the Dark Night Detective, Today´s cartoon video is Mask Of The Phantasm which is not only the best animated Batman movie but possibly the best Batman movie ever made.
The campy Batman tv show was a huge ratings success so that it was only natural that other people wanted to cash in on that and what could be better than a movie about a Batwoman with less restraints than Batgirl ?
Since we have already established that Tom Welling was on Lucifer here is the Smallville Reunion Panel from the Wizard World Virtual Experiences 2020. Let´s hope these kind of conventions are only a temporary thing.
We have had Our Army At War so to keep the religious theme going here is swedish 90s dance music group Army Of Lovers with Crucified and when I first saw the music video I didn´t pay any attention to the lyrics or the music because I was mesmerized by the group´s female lead vocalist Camilla Henemark who was the face as well as the boobs of the group.
Her voice was not that of an angel but her body was definitely made for sin and watching Camilla´s huge melons straining in her tight corsage gave me dirty ideas about which hard part of my body to put between them.
If you haven´t creamed your jeans at this point I can´t help you as we end the post with something funny. We all have enough stuff to drag us down.
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What good is democracy if you can´t get what you want ?
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