As I already mentioned in previous posts I didn´t read THE DARING NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERGIRL by Paul Kupperberg and Carmine Infantino ( you can find links to read all of the issues over at the SUPERGIRL : THE MAIDEN OF STEEL blog in my post about the second issue of Mark Waid and George Perez brilliant THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD run ) until recently when it finally came out in trade. A big reason for that was that when it came out I wasn´t so keen on Carmine Infantino´s art when the issues came out. What I was very keen on was the 21st issue of that series by Eduardo Barreto that featured a stunning rendition of Supergirl. Even if the new aerobics inspired costume with the headband was not my favorite costume. I was always more of a puffed sleeves / hot pants guy.
It should be no secret to the regulars here that - at least for my money ( which DC Comics didn´t get, at least not for any new SUPERGIRL books ) - they never got it right after they got rid of the original Supergirl in CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS since they were always focusing too much on the girl and not enough on the super. Even when they announced the Supergirl tv show I was hoping against hope they would cast an actress with a little bit more " ooomph " instead of the millenial compatible SJW version we got.
Now this isn´t my first Supergirl rodeo. I wrote about the problems with the Legion of Super - Heroes that arose from John Byrne´s 1980 relaunch that erased her entire shared history with the Legion and how poorly the Silver Age Superman treated her plus I have gone over all the different phases of Supergirl´s publishing history in this post on Jenny Poussin´s 34th birthday whom I cast as one of my Supergirls in the finale of the SUBZERO edition of my CASTING THE JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA MOVIE series. I´m sure Kal - El would love to poussin pound her into submission.
Speaking of my fantasy casting, I envisioned none other than Lindsay Lohan as the regular Supergirl and she even got her very own JLA CASTING post which not many cult sirens have. Of course I would take her from her best time when her big boobs were so out of control that Disney had to shrink them down digitally in Herbie Fully Loaded. At least in the close ups which makes for a weird watching experience because her breasts are smaller the closer she gets. In all the scenes where she is farther away or wearing a baggy t - shirt her melons are huuuuge. Like in the scene below.
I remember the height of her racktastic development when every man, teenager, prepubescent boy or horny shut - in used her underage rack as jerk - off material / viagra substitute dreaming about putting her booming teenage body to the test. She was every male´s wet fantasy and there was a website that had a countdown to her eighteenth birthday when it would be finally legal to have wild marathon sex orgies with Lindsay Lohan.
I bet she helped a lot of young kids hit puberty a few years early through her films and she would have sold the fact that pervy Golden Age Hillbilly Superman wanted to use Supergirl as his blow up sex doll in the worst way since her own Dad lusted after her. Which came out when he was thrown out of the Scores strip club in Manhattan because all the strippers he tried to order looked like Lindsay Lohan. To which I say : Why does this strip club has so many strippers who look like Lindsay Lohan and what are the prices ? I guess Lindsay would have liked to hide out from the papparazzi on the secluded farm of Ma and Pa Kent like the post Crisis Supergirl did.
Speaking of the perks of living a simple country life I put hipshaking cult siren Shakira - who was named after the ancient aztec goddess of fertility and virilityShakeyoassrightherya - in my Casting The Justice League movie alternates post since you can believe that she grew up on a farm as she is definitely good at milking. Only instead of milking cows she´s milking the well hung stable boys dry when she´s not busy practicing her deepthroat techniques on the breeding stallions gigantic members. And before you call foul I have to remind you that Silver Age Supergirl had flying super horse Comet which walked like a three - legged man and which she dated.
And since I just featured her in the post about the Hostess Fruit Pie ads from Harvey Comics Yesterday I am keeping it shorter than usual but I have to mention Elizabeth Berkley who revealed her real stripper nature in Showgirls ( she was practically dicktamed for this role by the horny cast members - and also producers - of Saved By The Bell who took turns slambanging her senseless when they were not busy using Tiffany Amber Thiessen as a blow up sex doll ). The movie was called a flop when it first come out but in the meantime it has become a cult classic mainly based on Elizabeth´s stripper moves which left me no other chance than cast her as one of my alternate choices for Nympho Supergirl from Earth XXX in my second alternatives post for casting the Justice League movie .
She would get a different origin in which her rocket was bombarded by the radiation of pink kryptonite which turns all female kryptonians into super horny blow up sex dolls. Because of the long exposure to the pink kryptonite the effects would be permanent ( instead of only temporary like usual ) and Nympho Supergirl would have different powers like sex strength, peep vision, erection vision, perv hearing, orgasmic flight, ovaric speed, tantra healing, kama sutra flexibility, sex olympics stamina, multiple position memory, fellatio breath and deepthroat breath. I would say she also has the power to give all men giant erections making their pulsating dicks hard enough to cut diamonds as soon as they look at her but with Miss Berkeley´s super sexy stripper moves that´s a given.
But double jointed Elizabeth not only licks the chrome off your steelhard pole she has the all important " pumping pelvic thrust " move down to pat.
I bet that comes in handy with that portable casting couch she allegedly has and I would not mind being at the receiving end of that a few hours .
While the pre Crisis Supergirl is my favorite one it´s not like there haven´t been a lot of trial and errors getting there so here is a video about one of the first attempts at a Super Girl. Which has something to do with Jimmy Olsen. Is it just me or did DC Comics get away with any crazy ideas as long as they did it in the Superman´s Pal Jimmy Olsen series ? Send someone through time by sitting on a bomb ? Let that crazy kid Jimmy Olsen do it.
Now I bet we all wish the Supergirl feature film with Helen Slater and Peter O´Toole would have been just another of Jimmy Olsen´s crazy adventures ( and yes, the actor who played Jimmy Olsen in the Richard Donner SUPERMAN movies was in this too ) but no, it really happened.
That cineastic train wreck is responsible for the fact that it took so long until we got a Supergirl tv series but that didn´t stop Tinseltown from producing a show about Superboy in the 90s. Which I have not seen.
Speaking of women of steel, to stay in shape in these trying times here is another workout with ultimate fitness guru / blow up sex doll Zuska Light.
I picked this one because of her outfit which emphasizes Zuska´s slender midsection ( just look at those ill abs ), it being one of the few available in a high resolution and because the workout includes dive bombers. The videos with her doing push ups are great but the ones where she does dive bombers or downward dog are the best and when you see her spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker and work her pelvis you can imagine how she used to thrust boners into submission when she was still doing porn. I bet she made all guys come buckets and wore their schlongs out.
Another bonus of the video is that she gets so tired that she doesn´t pay attention to the camera guy who shamelessly zooms in on her sweaty body, especially when doing those dive bombers. I bet she can´t get too tired during the workouts because otherwise she is sexually assaulted by her entire crew. Those perverts have no qualms about dicktaming her in the shower because they know she used to milk giant horsecocks dry for a living. And no matter if you actually do the exercise or just watch her doing it I am guaranteeing that at the end you will be covered in sweat.
Deciding which video to post was a toss up between a workout with Zuska and one with Vicky Justiz. But besides the fact that I could post two when I´m going with Zuska I also remembered that there are a few bikini try on videos with Vicky who has one of the best butts on YouTube.
Likewise I was racking my brain which music video I should include in this post but in the end I thought since we already have a lot of busty blonde sexbombs in the post why not go with balkan bra buster Andrea Teodora ?
The buxom 36D bulgarian who has appeared in Maxim as well as posed nude for the bulgarian PLAYBOY would have fit perfectly in an Andy Sidaris movie. And as further proof here is Andrea´s music video Miss California.
Speaking of Miss California, longtime followers of the blog know that I have to use every opportunity to mention the California Bikini Girl Contest series of which the best parts were added to The Bikini Open. They spawned not only the California Foxhunt Bikini Contest but also the California Foxhunt Lingerie Contest, the California Foxhunt Flashdance Contest - although I am not entirely sure what the criteria were for the last one - and a wet t - shirt special that sent ratings through the roof.
Of course a lot of girls had recurring appearances in these contests ( the producers of the tv shows had various hot girls on call for the taping which explains why the hottest girls didn´t always win - but more about that some other time ) and besides Pamela Paulshock you could see blow up sex dolls like Mercedes below , busty blonde Pamela Brown , ravishing redhead Julie Fulkerson or Brooke Thompson and in her case things could get confusing because she sometimes started under the name of Brooke and other times as Brandi , Bridget or Michelle. But while you could get her names mixed up there was no mistaking Brooke´s 36DD - 24 - 36 body.
This is the kind of women´s movement I can´t get enough of, Mercedes !
I´m slowly running out of videos from the California Girl Bikini Contest series but don´t fear, there are plenty of other bikini contest videos.
Since I also don´t like any of the new incarnations of Supergirl in the cartoons ( don´t get me started on Disney´s SUPER HERO GIRLS ) here is the History Of Comics On Film with The World´s Greatest Super Friends.
New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
We all have our little faults. Mine´s in California.
No comments:
Post a Comment