And that´s mainly because once again I was pretty sure I had already posted an entire issue only to find out that in reality I had PLANNED to post that issue but so far I had only posted a few pages of original art.
Anyway, there are a few things about Supergirl that I wanted to address but going through my posts I found out that I had only written about some of the things I had in mind. What I already wrote about are the problems with the Legion of Super - Heroes that arose from the 80s relaunch by John Byrne that erased her entire shared history with the Legion. I have also written about how poorly the Silver Age Superman treated her about which I will elaborate a bit more in this post. And before we journey any further I think I should stress that when I´m talking about Supergirl I mean the original version since I never got a connection Post Crisis Supergirl.
I have just started reading the THE DEATH AND RETURN OF SUPERMAN hardcover omnibus ( yes, I finally caved in and bought it and when I say " I just started reading " I mean " I have only read the first 590 something pages " ) and I kind of like the Matrix Supergirl character that John Byrne introduced in The Supergirl Saga ( I swear I´m still working on that post ).
Okay, her power set is different ( which was probably so he could retain creators rights for creating an original character ) but she has some of the innocence of the original. What I didn´t like as much was Peter David´s whole Earth Angel nonsense and the Fallen Angel fiasko ( I still feel ripped off because there is no way Peter David didn´t know he would loose all rights to his character if he ever revealed she was Supergirl ) and after that DC tried unsuccessfully to introduce one new Supergirl after another and each incarnation was worse than the one before.
I think the last version of Supergirl I enjoyed was the one in George Perez BRAVE AND THE BOLD because George just makes everybody shine. But let´s go back to the Pre NEW 52, Pre Crisis On Infinite Earths Supergirl.
There were basically three periods in her history. We have the SUPERMAN IS A SUPERDICK phase where the Silver Age Superman basically bullied her and didn´t want to have much to do with her. I mean, the whole planet of Krypton is gone ( except for Krypto, the superdog and the population of the bottled city Kandor ) and Superman sends the only living survivor - who also happens to be his cousin - to live all alone in an orphanage.
Okay, not all alone since there were a lot of other kids but it was still cruel because she had to disguise herself and had to keep her super powers a secret so she could be Superman´s secret weapon against crime. Which means Supergirl lived in an orphanage and only could leave if Superman had some secret mission - most often than not some errand he was to lazy to do himself - to carry out. All in secret of course. If you ask me he a big reason for this was that Superdouche was just afraid of the competition.
I think he was afraid that she was going to be better at being a hero than him. I mean why did she have to hide under a secret identity in a little orphanage where lots of people were coming by every day and she runs the chance of being discovered ? She could have been hiding as good - or even better - in a secret fortress of solitude in the middle of nowhere where nobody comes visiting because nobody has even the slightest idea where it is. No, the truth is Superman didn´t want Supergirl around.
He always acted like he was annoyed by the constant schemes of Lois Lane and Lana Lang to get him to marry them but I think he also enjoyed the attention and loved the idea of having two hot women fighting over him. Which could have been ruined if his cousin Supergirl were always hanging around. He didn´t want her to cramp his style since he was trying to score with them. I mean on one side you have the intrepid reporter gal who granted - did not use her amazing physique to distract from her well known face when she went undercover like in the John Byrne era - but still was kind of hot. And she was a girl from the big city which must have been intriguing for a boy from America´s heartland. At least according to what I know about people in America who think that people from bigger cities are better ( sexually ) educated than people from the small towns.
And on the other side you had the ravishing redhead whom he knew since he was little. Who was also hot and who was an expert at milking since she grew up on a farm. And I´m not talking about cows. When they were teenagers and Clark started to peep at Lana´s booming body with his x - ray vision he tried to prank her by sending her into the barn to milk a cow but instead of a cow it was a grown bull. But the prank backfired on Clark.
After Lana had entered the barn the bull started to make some strange noises that sounded like the neighbour´s stallion when they brought him to the breed mare and after a while she came out with two full buckets !
The next phase in Supergirl´s history was what I like to call the WEIRD & UNFORTUNATE phase and that´s putting it mildly because when Supergirl was not busy disguising herself ( hmm, there really was a lot of that going on ) and kissing Jimmy Olsen to lift the curse of the werewolf Superman instead of being a Superdick tried to put his big superdick into Supergirl.
Yes, Superman and Supergirl were kissing cousins in the worst way. In ACTION COMICS 289 in the story Superman´s Super - Courtship Supergirl tried to hitch up Superman with female members of the adult Legion. As these attempts all failed Superman confessed that if he ever married he would prefer someone like Supergirl. And the only thing that prevented Superman from doing this was not the feeling that this might be wrong but because there was a kryptonian law against it. And it got even worse when Superman finally fond a suitable candidate in Staryl who looked like an adult version of Supergirl. They didn´t end up as a couple as Earth´s sun was like kryptonite to Staryl but Superman was all ready to get busy with a Supergirl lookalike. Because he had a taste of her kissing skills.
That´s right, way back in ACTION COMICS 260 in the story called Mighty Maid Superman has had enough of Lois constant attempts to get him to marry her so he finds himself Mighty Maid whom he intends to marry.
Which would be fine if it wasn´t Supergirl in disguise whom he kissed.
According to Superman it was all part of a plan to prevent some aliens who hated Kryptonians from killing them both but I think he could have found a way to defeat them without the need of Supergirl dressing up like his sex fantasy. I mean, really, padding ? It´s a safe bet that he was trying to give her a Power Girl sized chest because you know that´s where the padding went. Supergirl is just lucky that they only kissed a lot because I think Superman would have tried to convince his cousin it was necessary to consummate the marriage or otherwise their cover would be blown.
Man, Silver Age Superman really was determined to get into his cousin´s pants whom he tried to turn into his personal living blow up sex doll.
It´s a wonder he never slipped Power Girl a kryptonite roofie and tied her to his bed in the Fortress of Solitude to use her as his helpless lust slave.
I´M GONNA TAKE MY SUPER HORSE AND RIDE ´TILL I CAN´T NO MORE
Anyway, this weren´t even Supergirl´s worst dates because she also made out with her super horse which had turned into a guy. Is it just me or does this sound like the plot of a porn movie ? Typical girl meets horse story.
You can just imagine the conversation she had with Batgirl about this.
Supergirl : " No, you don´t understand. It´s not like a real date because this guy is really a horse, I mean he used to be my super horse Comet. "
Batgirl : " Oh, I understand all right. You are having a date with a guy who is part man and part horse. And I bet I know which part of his body is like a horse. I´ve had dates like that. At first they are shy and insecure but then they get an erection and are hung like a horse. And before you know it you are tied to a bed while this guy tries to break you in. "
Supergirl : " You got it all wrong. I didn´t say he´s hung like a horse. I said he USED to be a horse but now he walks like a man. I mean he is a man. "
Batgirl : " But you also didn´t say he´s NOT hung like a horse. Excuse me, a SUPER horse. Which means he is probably more than SUPER hung. And all I´m saying is : once a horse, always a horse. So don´t be surprised if your friendly super pet turns into a super horny breeding stallion. "
The writers from that time had an unhealthy fixation with super powered pets like Comet, the super horse, Streaky the super cat, Beppo the super monkey and Krypto, Superman´s super dog that also came from Krypton.
Why do I have the feeling that without any editorial supervision those guy would have given us stories about intergalactic cock fighting arenas ?
The third phase in Supergirl´s history was in the Bronze Age where she was pretty much emancipated and accepted as a super heroine within the super hero community with powers that were only surpassed by the Man of Steel. I´m not sure if that was before the period in which she seemed to have a different costume every issue. Speaking of her costumes my favorite was the one with the puffed sleeves and the hot pants since most artists drew her with a stunning physique rivaling that of such movie stars like Raquel Welch with the bullet bra, hourglass figure and long legs.
One of those artists was Jim Aparo and he really drew a sexy Supergirl.
Which he did on THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD on two occassions : issue 147 and 160. Now issue 160 is the second teaming up of Batman and Supergirl and that is the issue I thought I had already posted in a previous Jim Aparo spotlight. And to avoid this from happening again I am now putting it on the blog - including the original cover art that I found online as usual.
Man, that´s the Batman I really miss in comics right now. Not the infallible Superbatman who has a contingency plan for everything but the one who used his skills as a detective to find the bad guy and who could MacGyver himself out of a deadly deathtrap only with the rope the criminals tied him up with and one of his boots. By the way, is DC ever going to release the fourth LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT - JIM APARO volume ? While I don´t care much for the cover of the third volume it is so far the best where content and printing is concerned ( I really liked his issues towards the end of the run better and at least half the issues in the second volume are printed badly - at least in my copy ) and I think we only have one more volume to wrap this up. I mean, they already did three volumes of the Outsiders and Jim Aparo did that after THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD.
Now I have mentioned once or twice that the entire DARING NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERGIRL by Paul Kupperberg and Carmine Infantino series has finally been released in two trades and while I wasn´t always a big fan of Carmine Infantino´s art but I could not wait to read this run.
Much more than any post crisis incarnation which - to be blunt - have all been annoying and very disappointing. My brother used to read one of the newer series and there was a point where things got almost interesting but after two issues they returned everything to the status quo. And don´t get me started on the Peter David Supergirl - as - an earth - angel crap where he expected readers to wait fifty issues before the big payoff.
Anyway, ever after CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS DC had no clue what to do with Supergirl which is also apparent in the second issue of Mark Waid and George Perez THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD ( which you can read in this post ). Thankfully Mark Waid is a competent enough writer so that you can still enjoy Supergirl despite her obvious lack of any kind of personality and she´s not that annoying. In the story we have Green Lantern and Supergirl team up which leads to some friction because Hal Jordan is just so full of himself and thinks he´s god´s gift to women and Supergirl is just being Supergirl. She is just being friendly while he thinks she is coming on to him - since he is such a super stud that no woman can resist him - and when he tries to brush her off gently she is understandably offended. Yup, Superman was not the only one who could be a superdick sometimes.
Or maybe it´s another of these frequently happening cases where a guy has trouble understanding the mixed sexual signals women are sending.
One last thing I want to mention before closing the book on Supergirl Today ( man, when did this become a marathon session ? ) is that they don´t very often show the difference between Supergirl and Superman concerning that she really is the last survivor of Krypton while he is a survivor who comes from Krypton. Because apart from the Silver Age where Kal - El had machines with which he could travel back in time and experience everything that happened on Krypton Superman grew up on earth and had no idea about kryptonian society or culture. Supergirl on the other hand lived on Krypton as a child and experienced everything.
That´s one of the things they adapted really good in the Supergirl tv show where she is constantly making references to kryptonian holidays or the kryptonian food she´s missing. They should do a lot more of this but of course the whole thing where they didn´t want to show Superman during the entire first season threw a big monkey wrench into that. It does pop up in the comicbooks from time to time but she really is Superman´s first and best source about how people lived on his home planet. Man, we really have amped the Superman related content of the blog, first with the latest spin - off about John Byrne´s revamped Superman ( and the Robert Davi movie rummage table spin - off which also includes the part of my JUSTICE LEAGUE movie casting with natural born stripper Elizabeth Berkley and Lindsay Lohan so we will skip it in this post ) and now this.
Okay, there was not a lot of Jenny Poussin in this post but as I said in the intro the main purpose of this was to get some things about Supergirl off my chest ( no pun intended ). For those who want to know more about the canadian porn star you can use the link at the top to go to her original cult siren entry or check out the re - post I did in 2016 which is basically the same except that it includes a few more birthdays from July the 19th.
Speaking of blondes born for porn and birthdays, I also want to include Audrey Landers in this post who turned 63 on July the 18th because I think she - or her sister Judy - would have made a heck of a Supergirl.
WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS or ANDERE LANDERS, ANDERE TITTEN
Audrey is best known as Afton Cooper on Dallas which featured just a plethora of babes like Stacy Sanchez, Michelle Johnson, Priscilla Presley, Coleen Camp, Charlene Tilton, Deborah Shelton, Morgan Fairchild, Barbara Carrera, Tracy Scoggins, Claudia Christian, Lesley Anne - Down, Victoria Principal or Janine Turner . Still Audrey who together with her sister Judy Landers was one of the hottest commodities of that time stood one cut above the rest and they surely knew how to squeeze their big talents the right way. They could have made a real fortune working the stripper pole.
Before the Hilton sisters, Mother Nature blessed us with the stunning Landers sisters, and if you were a teen in the 1980s, the only crack you were on was the roughly twelve inches of cleavage shared between Judy Landers and her sister Audrey. They helped keep the boob in " boob tube " for over a decade, with appearances on nearly every hit tv show requiring a dyed - in - the - scalp blonde with the breast - busting bikini to match.
WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS II : AUDREY LANDERS, JUDY`S TITTEN
The 80s gave us a lot of the Landers sisters, mostly on the small screen, where they were often fashioned in as little clothing as possible and even less dialogue. It's hard to imagine though, or it's hard when you imagine, just how famous older sister Audrey Landers became playing the perennial bubbly blonde for our perpetually perky peckers. The sexbombs dazzled us with their own brand of twin magic long before the Bellas arrived on the scene and I must confess I prefer their version of it since here we got two sexbombs for the price of one while Bree is just a poor version of Nikki since she got her boobs inflated to pornstarsize. But back to the Landers.
Both of these blow up sex dolls would have been perfect in a Little Annie Fanny movie since with their perfectly shaped breasts, butts that won´t quit, legs almost up to their chins plus their lean and fit tireless bodies they were born for porn and back in the 80s they were the hottest blonde double d combo everybody fantasized about as two thirds of a sandwich.
AUDREY AND JUDY : BORN FOR PORN ? A PLAYBOY SHOOTING BACKFIRES
In real life neither of them were but they clearly were unaware of the general public´s perception of them as the ultimate sex symbols. Proof of that is the fact that they did a very tasteful but non - nude ( and non - paying, so thanks for that ) PLAYBOY pictorial for publicity reasons only.
They thought it would help the direction of their career and that the roles they would be offered would change from cheerleaders to more mature roles. Of course the incredibly sexy pictures had just the opposite effect since a lot of people had not actually seen the pictorial and just assumed they had done nudity and so all of the roles they were offered had nudity.
Like I said, for two such incredible sexbombs it´s astounding that they managed to life a life without sex scandals and they are both married and have two kids, Audrey has twin sons and Judy has two daughters. There have been a few attempts to do a reality show with the sisters but their everyday life turned out to be too boring for the networks and since they refused to spice it up to get more viewers nothing ever came out of it.
There was more about the Landers sisters in a recent post but because that part got longer and longer I gave them their own cult siren entry .
Reading these posts you might think that there is some random name dropping involved just to add a few more links but in most cases it´s a lead - in to something that will come up later in the entertainment section. In this case it´s a video about Harvey Kurtzman, who not only created PLAYBOY´s Little Annie Fanny but also the famous MAD magazine.
Which saved EC Comics after the rest of the comics industry had banded together to practically put them out of business through the comics code.
I´m a big fan of the obscure and weird especially if it falls into what may be categorized as the more trashy side of pop culture so Today´s in flight movie is The Fantastic Argoman from Italy. You could describe the main protagonist as the Anti - Superman and I´m not sure if I would call him a hero. Like with the Danger : Diabolic movie I posted in earlier posts the lines between heroes and villains seems to be blurred in italian culture.
Originally I had posted a review of the movie but since our last video is also a review I replaced it with the full movie ( which I found through sheer luck ) since I didn´t want to have two similar videos in this post.
One of the best comicbooks out there is The Legion of Super - Heroes and since it has been a while since I pimped the original cartoon show - and all the links I included in the post to watch the episodes have been disabled - here is an overview of one of the best and most underrated shows ever.
New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best
A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse.
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