Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Justice League casting alternatives - part 2

I can almost hear my readers give a collective sigh of relieve since this is the last post in my series on casting a Justice League of America movie.

And this is no hoax, no dream, no imaginary post either. No clones, no robots, no retcons this is the real deal. For our last Hurrah ! however I have to decided to throw everything in but the kitchen sink so we have singing sexbombs, latin bellydancers, german / british porn stars and an asian four way lesbian free for all that involves Yaya Han. Like we used to say in the 90s : Welcome to the JLA casting call, we hope you survive the experience. Severe nose bleeds and major spinal cord damage included.

Mariah Carey as Who Whatsoever ( as long as she´s in the movie )

Here´s our first candidate from the " I can´t believe I forgot to put her in my movie " section, the original Screaming Mimi ( you know this girl is a screamer ), Mariah " officially 38D but really a 40DD girl " Carey. Because the " official " breastsize of 38D is totally bogus. I mean around the time of The Annual Golden Globe Awards in 2010 her breastsize was officially confirmed as 38DD and by 2012 when she did the Christmas video with Justin Bieber her jingle bells had grown another few sizes bigger so they must have been 40DD or at least 39DD. Maybe a 39DDD. So maybe I´m biased here but she doesn´t look like a 38D woman to me, sorry guys.

Now aside the ever changing unrealistic breastsize, as readers of this blog know I have been a big fan of the cult siren - in every sense of the word - since forever and a day and I bet there was a whole plethora that was relieved when I made the decision to split my blog into a comic blog and a boob blog because they weren´t inundated by dozens of Mariah Carey posts anymore suffering all those hot pictures of the sex symbol.

Of course this meant I was given free reign to my obsession with Mariah Carey and to give you an idea : on the boob blog there where so many Mariah Carey posts that I had to create one big Über - post with links to all the other posts so I could put it in the links. Mariah Carey was the first cult sexbomb I did this for even before Halle Berry and Janet Jackson.

So it´s even more incredible that with all the sexbombs from movies, tv, music industry, showbiz and various men´s magazine I somehow managed to overlook her. I even made TWO versions of my casting call so I could put in more candidates. Still - no Mariah Carey. That´s just unforgivable. Which is the reason I absolutely had to mention her in my alternates post which is the least I could do. Like it says in the headline I have no idea in which role I would cast her but I would definitely put her in the JLA movie.

And if all the good roles are already taken I would even go so far as to create a new character just so I could have Mariah Carey in the movie.

Shakira as Supergirl ( Kara Zor - El )

This should have been another no brainer because normally you would take any excuse to put a hot latina masssita like la Shakira in a movie ( it´s not sexist when I say that because I have spanish roots myself ).

Scholars of aztec legends and mythology believe that Shakira was named after the ancient goddess of fertility and virility Shakeyoassrightherya whose name could be roughly translated with " goddess of the rotating hips that gives men huge erections and makes them last long time ".

Shakeyoassrightherya is not mentioned in many text but she is the secret daughter of Xochiquetzal, the goddess of fertility, beauty, female sexual power and pregnancy who is also the patroness of lovers and prostitutes. Xochiquetzal was the wife of Tlaloc, the god of earthquakes, thunder and rain but Tezcatlipoca, the god of wine lusted after her so her kidnapped her to have his way with her. Because Tezcatlipoca´s homeland was so deadly Tlaloc dared not go to Xochiquetzal´s rescue and for months the god of wine used her like a blow up sex doll until he could not get it up anymore and released her unharmed. Not many other goddesses had suck luck and it is said that when Tezcatlipoca got his hand on the extremely big breasted earth goddess Tlaltecuhtli he " ripped her in half ". Which is code for he sexually assaulted her and his swollen manhood was so big and hard the abused goddess felt like he ripped her apart. Despite her forced conception Shakeyoassrightherya was a very popular goddess in whose honor Youllsquirtalot the festival of sex and forbidden lust was celebrated where nothing was taboo and men could openly have sex with other men´s wives and female relatives, even if they were underage.

In the sacred ceremonies of procreation the beautiful priestesses would give all male tribe members of age the secret love herb viagraboner to drink before performing the forbidden dances. The thus entranced males were then chained to wooden seats ( in the beginning they strapped the males but under the influence of the erotic dances they broke free and ravaged the female tribe members ) and when their rockhard manhood was almost about to explode the priestesses would ride their throbbing boners long and hard. Until they had received many shots of manjuice.

This ceremony ensured the survival of the tribe for many generations. It is said that Shakira, being a direct descendant of those ancient aztec sex priestesses still knowns the forbidden lore of the secret dances of lust.

Coming back to our JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA casting the Supergirl I always think about is the original since I never got a connection the Post Crisis Supergirl. I kind of liked the new Matrix character that John Byrne introduced in The Supergirl Saga well enough ( I swear I´m still working on that post ) even after Peter David´s Earth Angel nonsense and the Fallen Angel fiasko ( I still feel ripped off because there is no way Peter David didn´t know he would loose all rights to his character if he ever revealed she was Supergirl ) but after that DC tried unsuccessfully to introduce one new Supergirl after another and each incarnation was worse than the one before. I think the last one I enjoyed was the one in George Perez BRAVE AND THE BOLD because George just makes everybody shine. 

So understandable I never thought about Shakira in that context but after seeing this picture I was like totally - DUH ! She absolutely looks like the hot girl next door who grew up on a farm and you know she´s good at milking - only instead of cows Shakira milked all the local teenagers dry. She also was the erection guarantee who got the stallions ready to mount the mare with her superior oral skills when the sex drugs didn´t work. In case the sex drugs worked too good - or the breeding sessiom had to be rescheduled for whatever reason - she also had to use her special skills to help the worked up stallions release the accumulated sperm. Which had the unwanted effect that some of the stallions became more interested in the foreplay and after sessions with Shakira than anything else. A few times some disgruntled co - worker whose sexual advances Shakira had declined sabotaged the whole thing and later gave the stallion a sex drug overdose so he would mercilessly drill her for hours, wearing her out.

How come I never made the connection ? Because Supergirl is so lame in the comics while Shakia rules. However it could work to cast the ultimate rumpshaker ( who gave Beyonce stripper lessons ) as the maid of steel.

I´m just not sure if I wouldn´t cast natural born pornstar Elisabeth Berkeley as Supergirl. I just have to find a way to bring her into the movie. Maybe as the evil nymphomanic twin from another universe.

She cold be Kara Fok - Me, the Nympho Supergirl from Earth XXX. She could have a different origin in which her rocket was bombarded by the radiation of pink kryptonite which turns all female kryptonians into super horny blow up sex dolls. Because of the month long exposure to the pink kryptonite the effects would be permanent ( instead of only temporary like usual ) and Nympho Supergirl would have different powers like sex strength, peep vision, erection vision, perv hearing, orgasmic flight, ovaric speed, tantra healing, kama sutra flexibility, olympic stamina, multiple position memory, fellatio breath and deepthroat breath. I would say she also has the power to make all men horny as soon as they look at her but with Miss Berkeley´s super sexy stripper moves that´s a given.

But sexbomb Elisabeth not only can lick the chrome off your steelhard pole she also has the all important " pumping pelvic thrust " move down to pat. I bet that comes in handy with that portable casting couch she allegedly has and I would not mind being at the receiving end of that a few hours.

Man, speaking about megahot sexbombs with the ultimate pornstar body there´s just gotta be a way how I can include megahorny cosplay goddess Yaya Han in the cast of my JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA fantasy movie.

I´d even bend the rules a bit and have her as the Outsiders´ Katana. She was a great character and they even brought her back in the ARROW tv series even if they gave her a different costume. I don´t know much about the NEW 52 version but she looks like a cheap Kabuki clone ( and shame on you if you don´t know to which comic I´m referring here ).

The BATMAN AND THE OUTSIDERS series has always been a personal favorite - not in the least because of Jim Aparo´s great art on the book - and one of these days I really have to do a proper post about that.

Daimn, just check out the size of those opai on Yaya Han. We have to get her to do full frontal nudity in the JLA movie, her body was built for it.

Since I already casted asian pornstar Miko Lee (  a.k.a. the human dick suction pump ) as the Cassandra Cain Batgirl Yaya could give her some combat training during which they would get their skintight clothes all wet and transparent before ripping it to shreds. Naturally the two naked asian beauties would end up in an imprompto " duel of the double dildos - last nympho cums screaming " marathon sex session impaling each other´s sweat soaked tireless bodies again and again and again without mercy.

Speaking about exotic sexbombs, since Kiana Tom is also in the movie as the female post CRISIS Dr. Light I should try to include her in the scene.

I´m not sure if Kiana would do too explicit sex scenes but she probably would not have a problem getting naked for the camera as she not only posed nude for the PLAYBOY but did it when her body was at it´s prime. 

She only got to show her boobs - and not even her naked boobs - in Universal Soldier 2 and I bet she has the stuff to go the full monty.

Now I have an idea that would work and include the hot Akira Lane : she could be Judomaster - the new female version from Geoff Johns´ LSA run back when he wrote great stories - and spar with Batgirl Miko Lee.

Then while they have their double dildo climax battle Katana ( Yaya Han ) and Dr. Light ( Kiana Tom ) would do the same and the respective winners - and losers - would take on each other in another bout. So in any case you would have four asian sex queens going at it twice and the viewer would win in the end, no matter how the individual battles turn out.

And there just has to be a way how we can get Yaya Han to wear the same outfit as Akira Lane here. Can you imagine Yaya Han´s king sized XXL breasts with the areolas of the nipples being totally visible in that mesh shirt and her naked butt only covered by a tiny string of dental floss ?

Sarah Young as Dawn ( later Manitou Dawn )

Like Darlene Silva this is not really the introduction of a new candidate but merely a re - shuffling of already existing participants of my JLA cast.

If I would cast Darlene Silva as Green Lantern Soranik Natu in my Justice League of America movie the slot of Dawn would be vacant and I´m sure that Sarah Young could portray the role of the squaw with the killer body.

Not only because the striking resemblance and because she looks terrific in the indian bikini above but like Dawn Sarah Young´s breasts began to grow to exceptional size at the age of 11 and she had her first sexual experience with 13. She wasn´t used as the tribal consolation girl by the elders like Dawn but her growing breasts began to draw the unwanted attention of her male classmates who constantly tried to fondle them.

She had to ask to be exempted from gym class because the boys always were reaching under her shirts which were too short to contain her tits and when she partook in strenuous physical activities where her big boobs were bouncing up and down the boys were distracted so much that quite a few injured themselves. Especially swim class was a desaster since she was almost sexually assaulted in the shower by the entire male part of her class after they saw her all wet in a bikini. After that the guys from her class ganged up on her every day during recess and shoved her into a secluded part of the school yard to take turns fondling her breasts.

Like I said, Sarah then had her first sexual experience at the age of 13 with a 22 year old boy and the fact he was willing to risk a jail sentence for having sex with an underage girl tells you what a booming body she must have had. While the boy surely must have had the sexual experience of a lifetime deflorating the teenage Sarah it didn´t impress her much. It wasn’t until about a year later that she became truly sexually active with the realization that she especially enjoyed having sex ( preferably with a stranger ) in public places : the prospect of being caught simply adding to the excitement; and Sarah Young was caught on numerous occasions.

On one such, two police officers who were returning from patrol found her having sex in front of the police station but instead of reporting it they hid and enjoyed the show, taping the whole thing with a camera. After Sarah had finished the police officers came out of hiding and - with a huge grin on their faces - let her off with a warning. On another occasion, the ticket collector of the train she was traveling on interrupted her and her partner having sex in one of the compartments. But after seeing Sarah Young´s titanic bare tits he just checked their tickets and left.

By the age of 15 Sarah had, by her own admission, after a succession of boyfriends and one - night stands, become the school nymphomaniac. You know, men often use the term nympho but when a girl admits it it´s not a little, she´s a full on sexually - assaults - men - in - public sex nympho.

I don´t want to say Sarah was predestined to become a pornstar but she was one of the biggest figures in Germany´s porn market when I was old enough to watch porn not only because of her voluptuous figure which would be a major factor in her increasing popularity. At a time when it was still unusual for a british model to feature regularly in hardcore pornography, Young starred in over 200 films alongside some of the best known porn actors of the time, winning a number of industry awards

She was the first porn actress to earn $1,000,000 for a single film and in 1992, Sarah opened her first sex shop, situated on the Am Klagesmarkt, Hannover, named Sarah Young Erotic Markt. There would eventually be eleven such shops located in various german cities where you could get her high gloss porn mags and tapes. And a big part of her success was that she was the first one who made porn videos for a price that horny teenagers like me could afford. I mean, new tapes. Because back in those days you could buy used porn videos at the video store ( ask your parents what those are ) but those were watched hundreds of times and only seconds away from combustion. She was a guest on many german talk shows during the 1990´s where she spoke reasonably fluent german.

So Sarah Louise Young was only a natural choice for my Justice League of America movie be it as Dawn or as Wonder Woman like in my original casting where the part about here got so long that I had to give it a post of its own . In any case I would pick Sarah from her glory days and as a pornstar she would have no problem getting it on in front of the camera. The annual encounter with the guys from the Justice Society of America like Mister Terrific would definitely be different from what they told us.

And speaking about porn stars from my misspent youth Carolyn Monroe would be perfect as Power Girl and she also would have no problem doing explicit nude scenes. The scene below is from one of her best movie Les Menteuses ( The Liars ) which uses the so called " Rashomon effect " in which three versions of the same event are shown. In the movie two old friends - Carolyn Monroe and the equally hot Beatrice Valle - meet and tell each other their sexual escapades. The first version is what the woman in turn tells what has happened which is the completely sexed up version.   

The second version is always what the other woman thinks has happened which is a slightly tamer version of that. And the final version is the reveal what really happened which mostly involves having no sex at all.

In any case I always pictured the scene above is what really happened between Power Girl, Flash and Animal Man when they were in that hotel in Bialya on their undercover mission in JUSTICE LEAGUE EUROPE issue 4. 

What can I say ? I was doing my military service in Munich at that time which meant I had a lot of free time on my hands, a room for myself, a vivid imagination and there were practically no women around save those I saw on tv or in comics. So naturally the idea of Animal Man using some kind of pheromones for a threeway with Power Girl piqued my interest.

Since the Supergirl part is the longest part of this post we´ll start the links with the SUPERGIRL : THE MAIDEN OF STEEL website where you can read the best Pre Crisis Supergirl of all times Beyond the Silent Night from CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS 7 which is posted in it´s entirety. You can also find a lot of other Supergirl stories from all kind of era like THE NEW ADVENTURES OF SUPERGIRL or the 4 issue mini series with the Matrix Supergirl. Beyond the Silent Night is also featured in COMIC BOOK RESOURCES post about The Greatest Supergirl Stories Ever Told !

For more CRISIS goodness SUPERGIRL COMIC BOX COMMENTARY has comments on CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS 4´s 30th anniversary and THE DORK REVIEW has George Perez´ JLA / Avengers & Crisis Secrets.

Coming from one Maiden of Steel to the next somebody really went and made a blog all about Power Girl in the aptly named POWER GIRL 1976 where he posted everything you can find about her although the last post is from September 2012. Not that there has been much Power Girl worthy stuff to post since the NEW 52 flushed her character down the toilet. And I don´t know if it´s worthy but COMIC BOOK RESOURCES´ Things That Turned Out Bad series takes a look at Power Girl´s Magical Virgin Pregnancy for everybody who hasn´t delved into that can of worms.

Since I mentioned Jim Aparo and The Brave And The Bold in this post ( and I´m probably never going to get the chance to do a post on it ) here´s the 325th installment of Comic Book Legends Revealed about the secret hints about the next issues guest star Jim Aparo hid in some of his issues of The Brave And The Bold . Speaking of neat things that happened in that series COMIC BOOK BRAIN has a post on issue 124 in which Jim Aparo, writer Bob Haney and editor Murray Boltinoff appear and Jim Amash´s interview with Jim Aparo from Comic Book Artist 9 . Last but not least since I talked about goddesses a lot and sex symbol Mariah Carey is in the post it´s fitting that I found 11 Times Mariah Carey Looks Like A Goddess in The Beautiful Video which has some animated GIFs.

We start Today´s video section with german Schlager Power Girl Antonia aus Tirol who not only has a big cleavage in this performance but also plenty of bouncing action. I´d put my Knackwurst between her Schnitzels. 

I know I already included the GIF from Universal Soldier - The Return where you get to see Kiana Tom´s famous bra but for all who haven´t seen the movie here is the best part from it. They really could have given her more scenes ( especially bikini scenes ), talk about having talent on your hands and not doing anything with it. What a waste of a hardbody.

The bra in Cassandra Rizzi´s video may not be as famous as Kiana Tom´s bra but the last video about getting bigger breasts was very popular with readers - guys seem to enjoy them especially for some strange reason.

While I still try to fathom that one I must say when she´s all dolled up Cassandra Rizzi looks like she should be in my Justice League casting.

She could be a contender. Anyway, here´s her upbra video review for the time when girls need those extra cupsizes for cosplaying or clubbing.

I would say cosplay queen Yaya Han clearly needs no artificial methods to enhance her famous " porn boobies " but despite various rumors on the internet her implants might not be as big as many may hope for as you would know if you have seen the video I posted where she explained which bra to buy to push your cosplaying to Power Girl cleavage levels.

Nevertheless Yaya´s bosom is incredible as one can clearly see in this video. You have to pay close attention to catch her " twitching ". Yaya demonstrates an astounding level of muscle control - know what I mean ? 

These posts are my one chance to post videos I could normally not include because they are not safe for work like this compilation of the 15 sexiest Kpop videos of 2015 although a few of these videos do not really fall into the " sexy " category and more in the " cute as a button " category. Now for those who don´t know Kpop is an abbreviation of korean pop which according to wikipedia is a musical genre originating in South Korea that is characterized by a wide variety of audiovisual elements. Which is true if with " audiovisual elements " you mean a lot of Sir - Mix - A - Lot´s olde ye booty shaking which is obviously quite essential to Kpop and one of the main reasons why it has become such a worldwide phenomenon so quickly.

I know that when I saw my fist Kpop videos it took me almost a week until I had satisfied my procreative urges. Daim those erotic korean pop stars.

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

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