By George ! Crisis on Infinite Earths - part 2

After the herculean task of finishing seven posts at once ( remind me to never do that again ) I am trying to get back to a semblance of normalcy around here so I am continuing with a new series I started last December.

Wow, that already seems so far away. It´s frightening how different things were in December 2019 and I am not only talking about the lockdown.

There have been a few severe blows I had to suffer in my personal life - which may have been one of the reasons why I might have been avoiding this topic. Because while it is a hell of a story there are a lot of people dying in these issues - not only super heroes - and while that makes for good storytelling in real life there are no miraculous resurrections, reset buttons or do - overs. Anyway, enough with the doom and gloom, I don´t want to bring my readers down in these already depressing times. Since I have a lot of catching up to do - as always - I want to get as many quick and short posts in the can as possible so I am starting with posts where I have already prepared the necessary material. There are even a few posts which I lost - or better misplaced - so I will be trying to put them on the blog as well. One last thing, I don´t know if I mentioned it in the first post but these posts are neither meant to be an in - depth analysis nor will I be posting full issues ( except for one or two but you can probably guess which ones ). These is more original art by George Perez plus some other pages I found while doing the research for this. And now let´s continue with the story in question and in this post we will cover issues 2 and 3.

Now before we come to the bonus part - which is almost entirely about fighting - there are a few links I have to add which I forgot in the first part of this. I have no idea why but I completely brainfarted on the guys from COMIC GEEK SPEAK and their Crisis Tapes episodes. Probably because they don´t do as many episodes as before. Anyway, with a lot of cities under lockdown you might want some additional information and these are just what the Doctor ordered. As you may have noticed I have not written very much about the mother of all crossovers which is not only because I still don´t want to spoil things but also because the fine folks of COMIC GEEK SPEAK have done a much better job. Heck, they have nine footnote episodes where they discuss everything around Crisis on Infinite Earths ( click here for episode 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 and 9 ) before they come to the actual issues and even then they have to do split it into two parts ( issue 1 part 1 / part 2 / issue 2 part 1 / part 2 / issue 3 part 1 and part 2 ).



We start the entertainment section with the birthdays I missed since my last post and on March the 8th we had Cynthia Rothrock who turned 63.

She was not only one the biggest martial arts ladies of the 80s and 90s, the sizzling sexpot was the main inspiration for Mortal Combat´s Sonya Blade.

Today´s SJW´s are always talking about female empowerment but back in the 80s Cynthia Rothrock was living it as she was not only a trailblazer for women - not only was she the first woman to be featured on the cover of a martial arts mag the still undefeated five time World Karate Champion who holds five black belts was the first to win a man´s championship - she also got paid to beat men up. And the better and more thorough she beat them up the more she got paid. That´s like the ultimate feminist dream.



In all seriousness, at a time when most caucasians were cast in Hong Kong movies as either the villains or comic relief she played the main heroine.

Which brings us to Today´s Cynthia Rothrock movie Tiger Claws or how it is called in Germany Tigerkralle. Now while it is an apt translation the german title was also chosen because in Germany Enter The Dragon is called Der Mann mit der Todeskralle ( The Man With The Claw Of Death ) so there is the connection of the Tigerkralle with the Todeskralle. And while I don´t want to say that the Cynthia Rothrock vehicle is up to the quality level of the classic Bruce Lee movie it does feature Bolo Yeung as the villain ( who reprises his role in the sequel ). But more than that the real reason why I chose this movie is that I think this was the first time that Cynthia Rothrock brought out her sexier side and boy, does she ever.

The movie opens on a typical metropolitan street where we see a big breasted hooker with black hair being followed by well, a slightly creepier and a less hygienic version of me. While we don´t exactly know who he is we get the impression right away that he is somebody who is obviously up to no good and doesn´t care if the busty hooker notices him following her.

We also see a police guy who is not very good at being undercover keeping tabs on the hooker who is obviously their bait for the pervert. But he gets distracted by some ass and I have to call foul on this because the hooker he was supposed to follow is way hotter than the woman who manages to distract him. Anyway, the hooker ends up in a deserted back alley where the guy who has probably not showered in a month makes some unwanted advances to her to which she responds by beating the crap out of him !

As the sex offender ( billed as Psycho Rapist in the credits which sounds a lot like those cheap 80s sexploitation movies ) is captured and arrested by the police guy - who arrives only after everything important went down which is a staple of movies as well as real life - we learn that the busty hooker was only wearing a black wig and that it´s really Cynthia Rothrock in disguise who . . . whoa wait a minute. The hooker IS Cynthia Rothrock ?

When did she get such huge melons and where has she been hiding those amazing sweater puppies all the time ? I did a bit of research and it is rumored that she got some enhancements ( 34C - 25 - 34 )  but when I first saw that movie I was not prepared for Cynthia´s giant double airbags.

At that moment I was ready to see Cynthia Rothrock slutting it up a few notches and going undercover to use her hardbody to lure more sexual predators into a trap - with the occasional smart one getting the upper hand on her so we see some hot sex scenes or at least Cynthia naked - but my hopes were dashed pretty quick as we learn that she was just on loan to the vice police for this case and there will be no encore performance.

So we have to say goodbye to Cynthia´s hooker outfit but she makes up for this with a nice pink sweater and boy, does she know how to wear it.

The plot of the movie is told very quickly : because of a series of murders using the Tiger Claw technique the resident martial arts specialist of the police and Cynthia Rothrock are brought in to investigate. This being the 80s the guy is of course played as a loner who doesn´t want a partner ( they still do that in cop movies ) and especially not a woman because this kind of work is too dangerous. So Cynthia has to prove herself to her new partner and ultimately they become a good team. I don´t remember if they also become romantically involved but it´s possible. I mean, she is built like a brick sh*t house and with that haircut and the way Cynthia stretches out the sweater I´m getting almost Power Girl like vibrations.

In any case, the main appeal of the movie lies less in the intricate story and more in the execution. Especially the parts with Cynthia Rothrock who shows that she not only has great martial arts skills and a great rack but also the great ASS - ets to go with it. Ming - Na Wen redeemed herself later through Marvel´s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. but I still think that Cynthia Rothrock would have been a better Chun Li in the Street Fighter movie.

Now I was a bit disappointed that we didn´t get to see more of Cynthia Rothrock in this movie but it totally not her fault. As I only learned later was Cynthia Rothrock always wanted to do riskier scenes and was willing to show more skin ( after all what is the use of training your body to physical perfection if you can´t show it ? Especially if you are an actress where your body is one of your main factors determining what roles you get and what you are paid. ) but that her agent always vetoed it who for some reason thought it would hurt her market value as a female martial arts star if she did nude scenes. Thankfully Cynthia did manage to get her way in many Femme Fatales issues much to the delight of her male fans.

And she was finally allowed to strut her stuff on screen in movies like Fatal Passion, Undefeatable and especially Sworn to Justice which does not only star Cynthia in the title role of a woman out on revenge but also was produced by her. So you know that it is going to kick ass. It also shows ass since the top heavy blonde is aware what movie goers want and so shows a lot of her body. She even serves up a brief look at her twin trophies in a lovemaking scene. It’s her only skin onscreen to date, so enjoy it guys !



Speaking of busty blondes taking off clothes in martial arts movies, while I´m a big Cynthia Rothrock fanthe best part of China O´Brian II is Melanie Good with legs that almost go up to her chin who is better than good. Or is it she is good at being bad since she plays a stripping contract killer ?



Rick Steiner celebrated his 59th birthday on March the 9th and the thing I always remember is the time they brought hasian Leia Meow to the ring.

Not only did she have a porn name she also had the huge oppais for it.

Leia a.k.a. Kristina Laum was the manager of the Jung Dragons and she always got lots of attention for her hot outfits although she also has wrestling skills and could put a Frankensteiner on Jamie Noble if necessary.

Leia started at ECW under the name of Kimona Wanalaya and besides a lesbian kiss with Beulah her biggest claim to fame was her infamous hot striptease during a long intermission after the ring broke at an ECW event.

Which was the reason why she quit ECW. Not that she had a problem with stripping. Born in Seoul, South Korea as Kristina Laum she was adopted at two years old by a couple that was very abusive so by the time she was 13 she was removed from their influence and bounced around foster homes to homeless shelters. At the age of 16 she went to court and managed to be emancipated by the state so she could live on her own, graduate high school and work different jobs. It was at one of these jobs as a stripper that the 18 year old Kristina met Raven who had a gig at the strip club as a DJ. After inspecting the merchandise for a few days he invited her to a wrestling event where she drove all fans crazy although she even though she was not a part of the show. Never let it be said that Paul Heyman doesn´t have an eye for the ladies because he hired her on the spot.

She became Raven´s valet in the ring and his blow up sex doll at home.

Which brings us back to her striptease. On the 22nd of June 1996 during the ECW Hardcore Heaven 96 the ring broke during the fight between Tommy Dreamer and Brian Lee and to keep the fans from rioting while the crew fixed things for the next fight Paul Heyman told Kristina to go on stage and do a striptease. He promised her they would not film it but of course they taped every second of it and not only was in included in the Extreme Warfare Vol 1 VHS tape, it was one of the main selling points.

Plus to add insult to injury Kristina never got a penny from all the sales.

So she quit wrestling until 1999 when she resurfaced under the name of Leia Meow with Rick and Scott Steiner when they were called the Varsity Club. Now I don´t care under which name the Steiner Brothers wrestle since they are a top notch tag team but because of the college boys angle Leia Meow dressed up as a cheerleader . As we all know the real purpose of the cheerleaders is to endure the adrenaline charged sexual assault of the jocks at the post game victory parties / sex orgies and behind the scenes the Steiner Brothers used Leia in the same capacity. The brutes tag teamed the poor girl merciless on a daily basis and indeed it was while stretching her out that Scott came up with the Big Poppa Pump persona.

Maybe someone out there can help me out and knows from which match the animated GIF above is and where I can find the video on YouTube.



The cheerleader gimmick was short lived and for six months she was paid to stay at home until she became the manager of the Jung Dragons with a dominatrix gimmick, her trademark scantily clad porn outfits and a riding crop. Speaking of riding, while her days of being used as the Steiner´s sex toy were over she had no time to sigh a breath of believe since her new proteges Kaz Hayashi and Jimmy Yang were only too eager to bang their new manager´s brains out. They pumped her six way to Sunday using some really perverted Urotsukidoji kind of stuff to dicktame her hard.

Coming back to Rick Steiner his brother Scott is the more successful one who became a member of the NWO as Big Poppa Pump. Besides Rick´s own entertainment value his appearances always were a highlight because he was accompanied by a bevy of mega hot blow up sex dolls, his so called freaks, which included swimsuit Busenwunder Midajah O´Hearn who appeared in the IRONMAN Swimsuit Spectacular videos number 2 and 3 .

And you can read more about the other NWO girls who also got bucknaked in the IRONMAN Swimsuit Spectacular videos like April Hunter in the second part of this year´s tribute to wrestling Sexbomber Tylene Buck .

Okay, that was a lot more than intended about Leia Meow and not that much about Rick Steiner but I always get carried away with asian blow up sex dolls. To make up for that here is an episode of Catch Up with the Steiner Brothers. As for the celebrity birthdays from the 9th of March, you can find more of them in my THE RETURN OF FLASH FRIDAY WITH PAUL RYAN post from 2018 and also in this THORSDAY WITH ERIK LARSEN post .



Now there may be some people who are not that much invested in wrestling ( and I have to admit that I am not watching the current kids show of the WWE ) and who don´t like that I write about it so much in a blog that is supposed to be about comicbooks. But there have been quite a number of comicbooks about wrestling - some of them based on actual persons while others like the ones from the Hernandet brothers are not - even if the early ones were not very good. Speaking of which, there is a review of the first issue of Marvel Comics WCW comicbook from the 90s by Matthew Peterson on MAJOR SPOILERS and one of the fourth issue on CANADIAN BULLDOG´S WORLD ( there are supposedly more reviews but the links don´t work for me ) if you want to know how bad it got. By the way, while looking for pictures of Rick Steiner I came across a lot of WWE comicbook covers that are homages to famous Marvel Comic covers.

Does anybody know if this is a real thing, if this is really happening, is it just a promotion gimmick or is Mick Foley really writing a new WWE comicbook ? I will put some of these covers in one of my next posts.

There still are no episodes of Mucha Lucha on YouTube and since all clips from the WWE / Scooby Doo specials are short here is Challenge Of The Super Friends which was the closest to a Justice League cartoon we got.



And we are closing things out with one of the best fight songs Fight To Survive on one of the best martial arts movies soundtracks Bloodsport.



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

All the hoochies say there´s nothing finer than Scott Steiner !