I must confess that I don´t remember any of these because - as longtime followers of the blog know - the very first american comicbooks I got were handed down to me from an uncle and he was not into DC Comics. He was more an AVENGERS, CONAN, IRON MAN guy. As in the Marvel Comics post I couldn´t put all of the DC Comics Hostess Fruit Pie ads into one post so I have tried not to put too many ads with the same hero - or heroine - into this post. Of course the most popular characters appear in the most ads - which is why there are a lot of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman ads - but I was a bit surprised how many AQUAMAN Hostess ads there were.
On the other hand we are all victims to the urban legend that Aquaman was always more of a joke within the ranks of the Justice League of America and that he was not a popular member because that was how he was mainly painted before the NEW52 series by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis.
The truth is that Aquaman was a pretty good seller who not only was one of the few DC books that got through the DC implosion unscathed but when DC Comics had to reduce it´s number of superhero books after they lost their popularity after World War II the only superhero titles that were still published were Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman.
Also for a while AQUAMAN was one of DC Comics highest sellers especially around the time when Jim Aparo was penciling the book. There were some groundbreaking stories and people forget that Aquaman was not only the first superhero to get married but also the first comicbook where a member of the main cast was killed off and not brought back to life.
But enough with the DC Comics 101, here is the first part of the DC Comics Hostess Fruit Pie ads and going by the sheer number of ads left my next post will be either about the Archie Comics or Harvey Comics ads.
I´M GOING LOCO FOR COCO´S GIANT - SIZED ( 39DD !!! ) COCONUTS
But let´s get to the reason why guys really read my posts opening our litany of brabusting buxom celebrity birthday babes on March the 17th.
Can I say that I really envy rapper Ice - T ? Not only is he an award winning musician, iconic rapper and accomplished actor he also is married to a real life blow up sex doll Busenwunder Nicole " Coco " Austin, who turned 41.
Coco is the personified wet dream of every black man : a white sex freak built like a sister with an ass that just won´t quit who openly confessed to being a deepthroat nymphomaniac and jumping her man from behind the sofa as soon as he comes home to dicktame his pulsating manhood.
And you don´t have to wonder who was the inspiration for lyrics like :
My dick was harder than a bulletproof vest when she started pourin baby oil on her 39DD chest. Now, I ain't no sucker on the weak tip but let me tell you, she was on some motherfuckin sex trip. She spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker, then she did a backflip, landed on my dick, faster than I could say " No ! " It was like a rodeo. I was with a sex nut, she sweated and she grinned with delight, this girl had crazy plans for the night. This girl tried to kill me, put me to the test, took me within a inch of my life, rode me like the Wild West, I came so hard almost passed out.
Since she looks like the original Bart Sears Power Girl with her 39DD - 23 - 45 measurements I cast her in that role in the first part of the Subzero edition of my Casting the Justice League of America movie post series .
Speaking of the b - word, Brittany Daniel turned 44 whom most people know from Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt 2, It´s Always Sunny In California, Just Shoot Me !, Club Dread, That 70´s Show, That 80´s Show or Dawson´s Creek but for me she will always be the buxom blonde twin who saved my summer.
Longtime readers may remember my post from my return to Spain and how far away from everything it is back home. I don´t know if it was during the time when my mother tried to get me to cold turkey comics but one year there was really not much on tv and as I had already read all the books and comics I had brought from my last trip to civilization so I was starving for entertainment in form of movies and tv especially involving hot women.
Unfortunately my parents had the control over the remote at that time so the only chance to wrestle it away from them was while they were making dinner. Which meant I was stuck with prime time tv shows which were not really known for including a lot of scantily clad girls. You have to remember this was pre - 24h nonstop tv and naked chicks going at it on HBO. But as fate would have it I discovered Sweet Valley High, which would have been your average teen show if not for the fact that it had two incredibly hot blonde sexbombs with hardbodies that make guys go crazy as the main protagonists who were twins to top things off. Brittany played Jessica Wakefield while her real twin sister Cynthia Daniels - whom you might know from her role in The Basketball Diaries with Leonardo DiCaprio -
played Elizabeth Wakefield. This show really helped me through some rough ( and hard ) times and on some days a scene with Brittany / Cynthia in a hot outfit - or even better - a bikini was the highlight of that day.
Since they are twins they both celebrate their birthday Today so I want to be fair ( especially since I can´t be sure who wore which outfit in which scene and both are damn hot ) and say thanks for the mammaries to both.
WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS or ANDERE LANDERS, ANDERE TITTEN
Our last birthday for March the 17th is Patrick Duffy who turned 71 and is best known as Bobby Ewing in Dallas which featured just a plethora of hot babes like Stacy Sanchez, Michelle Johnson, Priscilla Presley, Coleen Camp, Charlene Tilton, Deborah Shelton, Morgan Fairchild, Barbara Carrera, Tracy Scoggins, Claudia Christian, Lesley Anne - Down, Victoria Principal, Janine Turner or Audrey Landers who together with her sister Judy Landers was one of the hottest commodities of that time. They knew how to squeeze their big talents and could have made a fortune working the stripper pole.
Before the Hilton sisters, Mother Nature blessed us with the stunning Landers sisters, and if you were a teen in the 1980s, the only crack you were on was the roughly twelve inches of cleavage shared between Judy Landers and her sister Audrey. They helped keep the boob in " boob tube " for over a decade, with appearances on nearly every hit tv show requiring a dyed - in - the - scalp blonde with the breast - busting bikini to match.
WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS II : AUDREY LANDERS, JUDY`S TITTEN
The 80s gave us a lot of the Landers sisters, mostly on the small screen, where they were often fashioned in as little clothing as possible and even less dialogue. It's hard to imagine though, or it's hard when you imagine, just how famous older sister Audrey Landers became playing the perennial bubbly blonde for our perpetually perky peckers. The sexbombs dazzled us with their own brand of twin magic long before the Bellas arrived on the scene and I must confess I prefer their version of it since here we got two sexbombs for the price of one while Bree is just a poor version of Nikki since she got her boobs inflated to pornstarsize. But back to the Landers.
Both of these blow up sex dolls would have been perfect in a Little Annie Fanny movie since with their perfectly shaped breasts, butts that won´t quit, legs almost up to their chins plus their lean and fit tireless bodies they were born for porn and back in the 80s they were the hottest blonde double d combo everybody fantasized about as two thirds of a sandwich.
AUDREY AND JUDY : BORN FOR PORN ? A PLAYBOY SHOOTING BACKFIRES
In real life neither of them were but they clearly were unaware of the general public´s perception of them as the ultimate sex symbols. Proof of that is the fact that they did a very tasteful but non - nude ( and non - paying, so thanks for that ) PLAYBOY pictorial for publicity reasons only.
They thought it would help the direction of their career and that the roles they would be offered would change from cheerleaders to more mature roles. Of course the incredibly sexy pictures had just the opposite effect since a lot of people had not actually seen the pictorial and just assumed they had done nudity and so all of the roles they were offered had nudity.
Like I said, for two such incredible sexbombs it´s astounding that they managed to live a life without sex scandals and they are both married and have two kids, Audrey has twin sons and Judy has two daughters. There have been a few attempts to do a reality show with the sisters but their everyday life turned out to be too boring for the networks and since they refused to spice it up to get more viewers nothing ever came out of it.
There was more about the Landers sisters in a recent post but because that part got longer and longer I gave them their own cult siren entry .
But as astonished as I am to see myself write this - maybe it´s the fatigue - I think we already have more than enough hot women in this post so instead I want to talk about a different tv series. Long before he voiced Steve Trevor on Justice League Patrick played another super hero, the only equivalent of Aquaman or Namor we were going to get on tv screens.
Yes, that´s right. I´m talking about the aquatic anachronism, the deep - sixed defender, the nomadic nautilus, the water warrior of the waves Mark Harris a.k.a. The Man From Atlantis which not only had a sadly short lived tv series but also a brief seven issue comic book series by Marvel.
Man, with blonde Brittany and Cynthia Daniels on Sweet Valley High, the brabusting Landers sisters and now The Man From Atlantis this part feels like a part of my childhood. Which basically is the whole idea behind this section : me rambling about the things of Yesteryear. And apropos, I kinda liked The Man From Atlantis. It was not high entertainment - most stuff that was on tv at that time wasn´t - but despite the formulaic antagonism of the evil Schubert ( which for some reason never came up in music class ) it was entertaining and I was not too discerning as long as I got to see a super hero on tv. Or at least the tv producer´s version of a super hero.
You can read the first issue on DIVERSIONS OF THE GROOVY KIND ( and when I say the first issue this includes feature articles, pin ups and the letters page ), SPACE : 1970 has a cover gallery from that series plus the original black and white art for a Mark Harris pin up by the great Gene Colan, PLAIDSTALLIONS has some pages from the UK comic that was published in the Look - In magazine, for a lengthy article on Look - In visit Mark West´s STRANGE TALES website and last but not least the tv series is on ME TV list of 15 Forgotten Sci - Fi And Fantasy Series Of The 1970s.
We are skipping the rest of the celebrity birthdays from March the 17th since I already covered them at length in my fourth post about Mark Waid and George Perez brilliant run on THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD. Coming to my usual selection of bonus videos we start with one about comicbooks and another man from Atlantis, since contrary to popular belief Geoff Johns was not the first writer who took a more badass approach to Aquaman.
For my spanish readers who have somehow missed the subtle link above I want to include another episode of Un, Dos, Tres A Leer Esta Vez in the hope that somebody knows the name of this extremely gifted massita.
Un, Dos, Tres A Leer Esta Vez main goal was motivate people to read more ( I would have been extremely motivated if the blow up sex doll above with the huge melons would read to me in bed - and do other things ) and each episode was about a classic book. The episode with the subtle link is about Arabian Nights ( thus the bigbreasted sexbomb dressed up as a bellydancer ) and this one is about The Picture Of Dorian Grey. Those who don´t understand spanish still might want to check out the breast part of the show - which starts at 1 hour and 48 minutes - and any information about the identity of the brabusting blonde above is most welcome.
Speaking of women with giant - sized twin torpedoes who were born for porn I know I didn´t want to post more videos from SyFy Wire with Jackie Jennings because I am fed up with the media acting like the current state of animation is the non plus ultra and ridiculing any cartoon show that was done in the last millennium. I prefer a hand drawn cartoon that has a few flaws but character over a flawless 3D CGI animation with no soul that is so hip nowadays. I wanted to keep the aquatic theme of the bonus section going so since I already posted something with Street Sharks - and pirates - here is a video about a cartoon show I was not aware of : Tiger Sharks.
Even if it means we have to endure Jackie Jennings who really she was born to massage throbbing erections with her mouthwatering milkshakes until they become harder than unto a thing of iron. Watching the video I couldn´t shake the impression that her huge melons were too distracting in previous videos which is why she is trying to hide her two impressive talents - hashtag sweater puppies. If you want to see more of her breast features check out her video about MYSTERY MEN where she shows the only two reasons why she got her job and maybe somebody can make a GIF of her that I can include in future posts. It´s really unbelievable that so far nobody has made one considering the sheer size of her breasts.
We are closing out with the unplugged version of A Day At The Seaside.
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A fish should swim thrice : in water, in sauce and in wine.
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