Ever since I included all natural 34E ( !!! ) - 24 - 34 bikini beach body par excellence Hannah Palmer in my DEFENDERS / Steve Englehart tribute I have been swamped with requests with more videos of the busty blonde.
Well, the thing is that I already included all the links for Hannah Palmer videos I had in that post but since I know that not everybody takes the time to go through all of the links I put up I am only too willing to post the top 5 Hannah Palmer videos - that don´t have an age restriction - here.
Especially since I couldn´t feature her on her birthday which was on the 18th of May. And to think that she´s only 24. Now seeing as this is a Thor post I can´t help myself and do an ASSENTIAL ASGARDIAN SEX GODDESS special edition of my momentarily on hiatus ( but hopefully not retired ) but still hugely popular COMIC BABE BATTLE series to see which roles bra - busting Busenwunder Hannah Palmer could play in a REAL Thor movie.
WHEN THE AXE HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT´S AMORA
Being a blonde doesn´t really narrow things down since most asgardian goddesses are blonde but let´s get down the list of the biggest babes in norse mythology. First we have Amora, who was Stan Lee´s own creation based in part on the roman goddess Venus and the norse goddess Idun so she stands for beauty and love but also for youth and fertility and who could refuse Hannah Palmer putting your fertility to the ultimate sex test ?
In the comics Amora started out as a villain but mostly as a foil for Thor whom she wanted to dicktame in the worst way ever since he spurned her advances. Aptly called The Enchantress - on one side because of her ability to enchant all male creatures but also for her enchanting porn star body - she always had her own agenda which sometimes put her at odds with Thor. Mostly when she supports Loki in his mischievious endeavors.
Her main henchman in most of her undertakings is of course stoic Skurge, the Executioner and it´s no big secret how she paid for his services since she once milked three dwarfes dry just to get a necklace she coveted.
Walter Simonson gave him one of the best farewells in comicbook history but his legacy was quite troublesome for Eric Materson and they don´t have treated him too well after that - neither in comics nor in movies.
The goddess Amora was based on - Idun - also had questionable stories in north mythology like being forced to become the harem queen of a frost giant who used her tireless body like a cheap blow up sex doll 24 / 7 which any straight male would do if he got his sweaty hands on Hannah Palmer.
So I think Hannah Palmer would be perfect for the role of the ultimate norse sex goddess since Amora possesses the superhuman endurance, speed, agility, reflexes, stamina, durability of an asgardian and her body can take a lot of punishment which coulped with her mastery of all kinds of crazy sex magic comes in quite handy during her midnight marathons.
Another role for Hannah Palmer is Lorelei because if Amora is the porn star of the asgardian pantheon Lorelei is her slutty nymphomanic little sister.
Based on the famous siren of german mythology who lured sailors to their death with her captivating song Lorelei has not quite the rep her older sister Amora has in regards to dicktaming male creatures but what she lacks in quantity she more than makes up for in quality. Failing the wisdom and restraint her older sister has she rather resorts to sheer enthusiasmn, a more blunt and direct approach, tireless teasing and last but not least a body that doesn´t quit. In her short career she has made both Thor and Loki her willing sex slaves - although the latter one only by mistake - so I could totally see Hannah Palmer as this asgardian sex goddess on acid.
VALKYRIE LIKE AN ASGARDIAN or METAL BIKINIS R US INCORPORATED
Last but not least - do I have to spell it out ? - we have the volupiuous Valkyrie and I am talking about the REAL nordic blonde Valkyrie here not whatever that awful abomination was which we got in Thor : Ragnarok.
By the way, another big mistake the movie made - aside from the worst handling of Skurge EVER - is that the Valkyries are NOT Asgards premier strike force in case of war. I mean, most of the agardian gods are gods of war and the only task of the Valkyries is to collect the deserving souls of those brave warriors who have earned themselves a place in Valhalla.
Anyway, with her incredible born for porn body Hannah Palmer would be perfect for the role of the original Valkyrie who was based on Brunhilde.
If she looked like Hannah Palmer it would be no wonder that Thor married her and extended their honeymoon forever in another alternate life. Plus Hannah Palmer would have no problem filling the Valkyrie´s metal battle bras with her torrid twin torpedoes. I always wondered which shape the Valkyrie´s breast had under that metallic wonder bra and if she had some space in there or if she basically had to squeeze her boobies in and was relieved when she could let them hang loose again once she took it off.
ROLLING THUNDER IN HER VEINS LIGHTNING BETWEEN HER THIGHS
Now you might think that we are finished but thanks to her handling in the comicbooks and pretty soon the movies there is yet another female character from the THOR comics for which I would consider Hannah Palmer : none other than Jane Foster but as always I´d put my own spin on it.
Ever since they started the lamebrain storyline in which Thor suddenly is no longer worthy of wielding Mjolnir - all because of something that would in reality make him even more worthy - and Jane Foster becomes not only the new Thor because of her cancer I have thought of a way to turn it into a story that would be less crazy and more entertaining for readers.
So in my story we would have nubile night nurse Jane Förster who not only is used and abused as a sex toy by all the doctors and her superiors because of her incredible pornstar body but also is sexually assaulted by her horny male patients on a daily basis. It also doesn´t help that Jane works in a sex clinic and mostly handles cases of patients with gigantic horsecocks who suffer from an excelarated sperm production so she has to deepthroat them until they shoot their load because otherwise their balls would explode. Of course most of the pervy patients take advantage of the situation and force Jane to have sex with them many positions in.
Jane´s luck seems to change when she finds Thor´s mystic mallet in her locker and activates the power of Thor. Which she does by stroking the hammer instead of striking it. And when I say stroking it I mean putting the hilt between her big boobs and stroking it until it has grown to twice its normal size. When it´s starting to bulge all over Jane realizes that the hilt is bound too tight and after removing the band Mjolnir´s pulsating hilt is revealed. Before Jane can react it shoves itself down her throat until it squirts a big load and tranforms Jane Förster into Donnarwetter the new goddess of thunder complete with a slutty costume that covers nothing.
Jane first uses her newfound powers to exact revenge on all who have abused her in the past before turning her attention to Thor´s rogue gallery. Which she mainly defeates by letting them have their way with her - which is almost her undoing when she has to go up against such serial rapists like the Wrecker or Mister Hyde or the incredible Hulk - and then smacking them over the head with her hammer after they have come.
All the while Mjolnir grows stronger with the hilt becoming bigger and bigger and turning from its original form into more the shape of a penis.
To trigger the tranformation Jane is also forced to more explicit sex since simply stroking it and giving it a blowjob very soon stops being effective.
Now Jane has to spread her legs wide open and let the hammer pound her without mercy for hours but Mjolnir´s agenda is revealed when it ensnares Jane with msytic bonds and bangs her brains out six ways to Donarstag.
As it turns out it was all planned by Mjolnir who used one of Loki´s old schemes to make Thor unworthy so it could appoint a female human to become the new god of thunder - even using forbidden dark magic to change its own inscription - and it would transfer Thor´s powers to her.
Then it would siphon them off again through sex. It had not originally planned it this way but after seeing what an absolute immortal blow up sex doll Jane Förster is in her asgardian form Mjolnir decided to use her as a breed mare to birth it a male body so it could rape first all the other female asgardians and then all other female goddesses in the universe.
I´m not sure how I would have resolved the whole thing - probably with the triumphant return of the real Thor and Jane Förster going either back to the sex clinic where she gets abused even more or becoming a porn star or turning her adventures in Asgard into an adult movie - but that would be my general idea. Which closes this part about Hannah Palmer.
As regular visitors know I posted videos of her before and those that do not have an age restriction get taken down from YouTube pretty fast .
That´s when you know that you are hot : when your videos get plastered with age restrictions - though she is not naked not even partially - or are deleted very fast. The thing is I am not quite sure how the whole age restriction thing works because I also found versions of the very same videos I included here that had it. For me that sounds very arbitrary.
Since I have already given you my version how Jane Foster becomes the new god of thunder I thought why not kick it old school ( which is not a surprise for regular visitors ) and go back to 1978 to see how Don Glut, penciler Rick Hoberg and inker Dave Hunt handled the story of Jane Forster finding the hammer of Thor and becoming Thordis, the goddess of thunder in What If .... Jane Foster Had Found The Hammer Of Thor ?
Who would also make a splendid Enchantress is spanish sex goddess Marta Sanchez and we could have hot Hannah Palmer as Lorelei with the sibling rivalry where they hit Thor and Beta Ray Bill ( the reason why they chose him over any other Asgardian is that while he may have the face of a goat other body parts of his antomy have more in common with horses ) with the potent schlongus longus hardasiron lastallnight sex spell so they can use them in an ejaculation sensation last nympho standing competition.
Anyway, Marta Sanchez would be just perfect for the part of the more experienced asgardian sex goddess and here we have her top five stage outfits. Which means I did not pick the videos for the picture quality but for the quality of Marta´s outfits. Also as always I depend on videos other people uploaded to YouTube so if your favorite Marta Sanchez outfit is not represented it may be solely for lack of an adequate video. Speaking of which if you know any other hot videos with Martha Sanchez that I should be putting up on the blog please let me know in the comments below.
We start off with a dress that´s so short that it´s basically just a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, second we have an outfit worthy of the dicso costumes of the Legion of Super - Heroes which I have no idea how it passed the censorship regulations - although they were cutting down on the restrictions for tv during that time or blow up sex doll Martha may have used her porn star body to bang the tv censors into submission - followed by just one of her many transparent outfits. This one covers the least and next we have Marta really rocking that skintight leather skirt showing us her bASSt ASS - ets and speaking of leather we have saved the best for last with Martha Sanchez skimpy leather outfit for Lili Marlene which put her on the map as Spain´s premiere sex symbol during the 80s.
One thing that made the original Thor stories by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby and Vince Coletta so interesting was that only part of it was based on norse mythology, gods and monsters, the other parts were divided between adventures on earth where Thor dealt with street level crime or super villains and outer space where he encountered strange civilizations and living planets. It's in the spirit of the latter one that I am starting Today's science fiction section with a double feature about Robocop rip - off Robo Vampire that throws vampires into the mix to add insult to injury.
Now you might think using your Wii Sports controller with your tv screen is state of the art technology but in the 80s there was a science fiction show where kids could use toys to interact with their tv set : Captain Power & The Soldiers Of The Future . Mainly produced to sell toys the show failed to garner a wide audience as science fiction fans were put off by the goofy sounding Captain Power while parents were turned off by the dark themes of the show. The series not only influenced a lot of later science fiction shows it is also where J. Michael Straczynski - famed comic writer of such fan favorite series like RISING STARS and MIDNIGHT NATION ( you can find my list of Top 5 Comicbook Series By J. Michael Straczynski in my Gil Kane At The Movies post from 2016 ) - developed the ideas that would later become the science fiction classic Babylon 5.
Speaking of Babylon 5, while I am more a Star Trek - Deep Space Nine fan ( for those wondering why I am comparing those two shows, in Germany they were broadcast at the same time slot and while you could watch both if you taped one with your vcr - kids, ask your parents or better grandparents what a vcr is - you had to decide which show you would watch and which you would tape so you could watch it later and in my household Star Trek - Deep Space Nine always won ) they did have some decent sexbombs on the show like 40C - 25 - 35 Uebercougar Tracy Scoggins ( who really caught my attention as Cat Grant on Lois & Clark - The New Adventures Of Superman which also starred the best Lois Lane EVER, not so desperate housewife 38C - 22 - 32 sexbomb Teri Hatcher ) as well as 36B - 25 - 38 science fucktion cult siren Claudia Christian who earned a prime spot in my TOP 10 MOVIE STRIPTEASE list for The Hidden.
The film is still shown on tv mostly because of the raunchy striptease by Claudia Christian who is best known as Babylon 5's hot Commander Susan Ivanova. Although I doubt Claudia wore anything as skimpy as this on it.
In the movie bi - sexual Claudia plays a stripper ( a role for which she was born ) who gets taken over by a sex addicted alien parasite and the first thing the alien does with the stripper´s pornstar body is literally fuck a guy to death. Which apparently she tried to re - enact with Kyle MacLachlan for a few weeks in a nearby no - tell motel where Claudia used her relentless body to pump his giant boner dry many positions in.
Coming back to Captain Powers & The Soldiers Of The Future, while the tv series didn't have as much success as hoped it was successful enough to be adapted into a video game and even a two issue comic series from Continuity Comics written and penciled by none other than Neal Adams.
While you can find episodes of Captain Power & The Soldiers Of The Future the quality is very low so I opted for the spanish dubbed one.
Oops, spoke too soon, there actually is an episode in english !
We continue with another toy based tv show, Robotix co - produced by Marvel Productions and animated in Japan by Toei Animation. The show was part of the Super Sunday cartoon program which also included Jem And The Holograms, Bigfoot And The Muscle Machines and Inhumanoids.
A franchise yours truly is more familiar with is Perry Rhodan, Germany's longest running science fiction pulp novel series and while I have posted a few videos about the series - including the awful Perry Rhodan - S.O.S From Outer Space a.k.a. 2067 AD movie from 1966 I have not posted a video yet which explains who exactly this famous Perry Rhodan guy is.
Next up we have - as the old saying goes something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue with Killraven, Marvel Comics take on Orson Welles' famous radio drama War Of The Worlds which was a new take on the science fiction classic by H. G. Wells. Which some folks say was a real live broadcast of an invasion from Mars which was covered up later and exposed as a hoax. Be that as it may, the reason why it's old AND new And borrowed etc. is that Alan Davis presents his own take on this alternate history of the Marvel universe ( of which the old Marvel Comics were chockfull like the X - Men's Days Of Future Pasts or the one with Deathlock ) without taking away or denying the stories by Roy Thomas, Gerry Conway, Don McGregor, Neal Adams and P. Craig Russell.
Now everybody who has followed this blog over a longer period of time knows what a huge fan I am of Alan Davis - especially his more personal work like Excalibur , Clan Destine or Superboy's Legion - and to see him do a book I have come to appreciate over the years was a real treat.
What was even rarer was to find this standalone story - which could have easily been released as an original graphic novel - untouched by all the SJW things going on at Marvel at the time. It's a fun read with a solid story and great art by one of my favorite artists that reminds you why Marvel rose to such a prominent place within the comicbook industry.
We come to something with more mainstream appeal with the iconic Battlestar Galactica tv show from the 80s. While it didn't have as much success as Star Wars in the cinemas it was a big hit on the small screen and it took Star Wars a few decades to come up with its first tv show.
Now I know that there are some Battlestar Galaktica comics but I never felt the need to read any of them. There is an Artist's Edition of Walter Simonson's work for that title and I have seen some art online but I think it's too early in his career for me and there is no nostalgic attachment like in his Manhunter series with the late Archie Goodwin. So even if I was allowed to spend money on comicbooks again I doubt I would buy it.
As a big fan of the original series I was reluctant to watch the Battlestar Galactica reboot but the series turned out better than expected. I was watching the marathons they did on german tv but at the tail end I lost some episodes so I never learned how the story ended. Truth to tell they did have some decent actors like James Edward Olmos ( who will always be Lt, Castillo from Miami Vice for me ) plus some stunning sexbombs like 40B - 24 - 33 real life Power Girl Katee Sackhoff or Canada's sexport Tricia Helfer who even got naked inside an issue of PLAYBOY magazine.
The blonde blow up sex doll of german, norwegian and swedish descent put the fucktion in fiction as Cylon sexmachine Model Six on Battlestar Galactica show thanks to her bonerinducing 38C - 24 - 34 hardbody.
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One of Tricias co - stars was one of the hottest hasians on tv, korean 38B - 25 - 35 knockout Grace Park who turned guys crazy on Hawaii Five O.
She played the toaster every guy would love to use for breakfast in bed.
One of the things that always bugged me on Battlestar Galactica was the idea that the humans created the cylons. Although it would explain why two of the models were hot sexbombs like Tricia Helfer and Grace Park.
On the other side the cylons would never had to go to war against the humans because if you have an unlimited amount of copies of Tricia Helfer and Grace Park there is no male who can resist you. I guess those toasters were still lacking in basic knowledge about us horny humans.
Because there is an episode of Third Rock From The Sun where they try to gain control of the world´s governments by sending in a squad of women who all look like bikini models and when you have seen this episode and know that the toasters on Galactica have hot models like Tricia Helfer and Grace Park it makes the war against humanity and death to humans and violence thing seem unnecessary and over the top.
Usually I don´t go for skinny chicks but I would love to get Grace Park on the casting couch for a long weekend auditioning for Nymphomanic Ex - Nun With A Lot Of Sexual Catching Up To Do. She got the whole asian persuasion thing going for her and I don´t want to use racial stereotypes but asian girls really do have the best bubblebutts in the world. I doubt there is any male alive who can resist Grace Park wiggling her whotsit.
When I was still in school we used to call girls with a body like Grace a carpenter´s wet dream : flat like a board but really a lot of fun to nail.
We are going back in time to 1961s The Fugitive Planet - original title The Phantom Planet where we visit the far flung future of 1980 and the only cast member I know is Richard Kiel best known as Moonraker's Jaws.
Staying with 1960s sci fi stuff we have the most recent releases of Jim Starlin's grand Captain Marvel space opera that redefined the character and introduced such important characters that many only know from the Guardians Of The Galaxy MCU movies like Thanos or Drax the Destroyer.
Now when I said that Star Wars didn't venture into tv land for many decades that is only true for life action since they released the Star Wars : Droids and Ewoks cartoons in 1985 and as surprising as it may sound the latter one lasted until 1987 while the Droids cartoon ended in 1986.
Apropos 80s tv, while it started in the 70s Charlie's Angels lasted until 81 and the original episode I posted - which were actually two because the story where their boss Charlie is kidnapped was a two parter - has been blocked by YouTube as well as most of the episodes I had bookmarked ( including the ones with the famous scenes that assured the show a place in the boob tv hall of fame ) but I found one in good quality with the OG team. For me there has been no adequate new version only attempts of varying degrees of failure especially the movies with Drew Barrymore.
First off Hollywood's incomprehensible fixation of re - imaging old crime tv shows as campy comedies completely ruins any attempts of the movie to be taken seriously. And while Cameron Diaz and hasian Lucy Liu may make passable angels under other circumstances the inclusion of Drew Barrymore is the final nail in the coffin of this train wreck of a film.
When I first heard about the movie I thought which sick individual thought that casting a talentless, unattractive hack as one of the best known sexy icons of feminism was a good idea. Then I read that Drew Barrymore was one of the producers and it all started to make sense.
Now as bad as the first of this movies is the second one is almost harder to watch for all the wasted potential. Because while they had natural born 38C - 27 - 36 stripper Demi Moore in it she was not the main focus.
Which in turn caused the movie to perform not as good as expected and so the third movie - which would have been the story how Demi Moore's character became one of the angels and then was betrayed by Charlie ( which is her whole motivation in the second movie ) - was never made.
I have to give Drew Barrymore grudgingly kudos for reaching out to Demi Moore in the first place but I can't shake the feeling that she didn't take it well when she was - naturally - upstaged by a living blow up sex doll.
As it is we have some memorable scenes of Demi Moore in a bikini from that movie and there's always Striptease the role Demi was born for .
Now I wasn't sure if I should keep the following part in this post because the initial video that got the thing going ( and which I used to make the animated GIF below ) has been deleted and since my old laptop has now finally left his mortal coil all GIFs I made in preparation are beyond my reach but I think I will post the surviving parts because this was already in another post and then I had to cut it out because that was too long.
Okay, where do I start ? I don't know if I already mentioned it but back in Germany I saw a few episodes of Undercover Boss and they also show the spanish version here. So far I have not been able to watch any because I am not in control of the remote control which is good for my followers because I would become instantly addicted and finishing posts would take even longer than it does now. So I was looking for some episodes and probably because I had watched a video about breastaurants - just to include it in one of my posts - the YouTube algorithm suggested one from an episode of Undercover Boss with the big breasted blonde blow up sex doll below who works at Twin Peaks. Now I don't know if they have any establishments like this in Spain but if they do and they have waitresses like Chloe working there I definitely mneed to go out more often. Holy twin torpedoes Batman, that's what I call a double whopper !
Anyway, after watching the video I did a little research and found the full episode - although not in the best quality - and spend a lot of time making GIFs. With my old laptop constantly on the Fritz and paint not working properly I could not cut the screenshot stills so I could not make HQ GIFs but I did the best I could do and included the longest one in the post. And then I had to cut it from the post where I had initially included it and then the first video which had the best quality was deleted - no idea why since the full episode is still on YouTube - and that was that.
What hasn't been deleted is the photoshoot with Chloe ( I think her last name is Johnson but I'm not sure since I could not find out much about her and the short bios I found don't even include a picture so there is no way to know for sure if it's her. Anyway, if somebody out there knows more about her - especially her measurements that would be extremely helpful - please let me know in the comments below. ) for the 2014 ( god, I am always the lasy one who finds out about these things ) Twin Peaks calendar probably because it is extremely short. I tried to find a longer video about her but since the breastaurant is called Twin Peaks most of the videos you find are for a 1990s murder mystery tv show .
Which funnily enough also starred Kyle MacLachlan whom I mentioned earlier because her starred in The Hidden alongside Claudia Christian.
Man, Kyle really got to bang some grade a born for porn sexbombs during his career since not only Claudia Christian tried to re - enact the scene where she literally fucks a guy to death with him in her trailer nobody can tell me that he didn't drill all natural 38C - 22 - 35 showgirl Elizabeth Berkley without mercy during their uninhibited sex scenes in the pool .
Speaking of ultimate blow up sex dolls with hot hooter action, initially I had included a video from one of the Hooters girls beauty contests - talk about a stiff competition - but it seems that while I was working on my Halloween tribute to EC Comics Al Feldstein ( which has been flagged as NSFW 25 times by a sexually repressed woman ) somebody uploaded the 2018 Miss Twin Peaks National Bikini Contest Championship competition.
Today's music video for my german readers are actually two and the first one is kind of of a return engagement since the front woman of euro disco band Arabesque is none other than Sandra who had a long and super successful career under the tutelage of her husband Michel Cretu.
Since the video with Sandra is very short I am including a rare internet find : the 50th episode of Formel Eins. As longtime followers of the blog know the episodes disappear quicker than afro american 40E - 24 - 37 aphrodite Halle Berry's clothes at a wet t - shirt contest and as usual some parts had to be cut but we still have Kajagoogoo, Eddie Grant, Howard Jones, Wang Chung or Re - Flex and live Herbert Groenemeyer.
Speaking of quickly disappearing clothes that was a fixture of the women with Adriano Celentano who had huge success in german movie theaters.
We are staying in Germany with Three's Company or how they called it there Jack Of Hearts With Two Queens. The show stars the late John Ritter who was one lucky dude because he got to co - star with jiggle tv superstars 34C - 24 - 34 rack attack Joyce DeWitt and blonde 40D - 22 - 38 brabuster Suzanne Sommers. And while they both deny any sexual relations with him ( at least that's what they have to say out of respect ) both of them affirmed that John had sex with a few female guest stars.
On top of that he got to work twice with one of my biggest tv crushes of all times 80s 37C - 22 - 35 real life Power Girl the late Markie Post, first on Tricks Of The Trade ( where Markie Post portrays a hooker, a role she clearly was built for but seldom played ) and the tv series Hearts Afire.
80s Power Girl Markie Post is probably the best known cult siren on the blog because not only have I done many re - posts of her original post .
I also keep mentioning her in other posts and her original post is in the Top Ten Posts widget that appears on every post. Since I have done so many different versions it is not so tragic that I did not do a re - post last year even though I did the last version of her cult siren entry in 2016 .
This is my second video with a cover version of Bill Wither's evergreen Lovely Day and I'm not sure which one I like better. So I'm flipping the script around and now the ball is in your court so to speak : which one do YOU like best ? is it one of these two, the original or another cover version you like best ? Please do let me know in the comments below.
We continue the videos for my german readers with Inspektor Gadget and I have to confess that I never watched many episodes from the cartoon. My younger brother was more into the show. I did watch the movie with Matthew Broderick and thought it was okay for what it was.
Last but not least we have german kabarett cult show Scheibenwischer with the late Dieter Hildebrandt and originally I had included a different video. The problem with a lot of the videos is that in most cases I only get to watch them after I have posted them and I just found out that the Best Of Scheibenwischer was not from a special show but a compilation of best scenes without any connection which on top stopped 30 minutes into the video. So instead here is the very first episode of the cult show.
Just so my spanish oyeescuchas don't feel left out I am closing Today's post with another episode of Noches Con Platanito. Que lo disfruten.
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