I hope you have a happy STAR WARS DAY !

Now that I have taken care of the pop culture relevant birthdays from April the 27th up to May the 3rd ( and if I have missed any I will have to take care of them next year provided I am still alive and I can still work on the blog from my new residence ) it´s finally time for STAR WARS DAY !

Regular visitors of TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN know that I don´t like to repeat myself so because last year´s STAR WARS DAY post was all original art I wanted to do something different this year. I still have original art in this post but only two pieces and I absolutely had to include these two.

For the rest of the post I wanted to feature all of the things that - at least for me - made the STAR WARS universe cool. Right now the quality of the STAR WARS movies and the spin - offs is pretty low with ROGUE ONE and THE MANDALORIAN being the only exceptions. So because I don´t like to dwell on the negative I tried to cram everything that is cool into one post.

Which was not very easy but as I already mentioned we have a few days to cover in the bonus section so I am expecting a few more STAR WARS post.

Especially since I only included one STAR WARS cosplay picture. But come on, by now you must know that Yaya Han is obligatory. Anyway, I had all the material for a special SLAVE LEIA post prepared but then the death of Carrie Fisher put a dampener on that. At the moment enough time has passed that I would consider putting it on the blog. And that´s enough of an introduction so let´s get to the good stuff and May the 4th be with you ( for all those who still don´t know how STAR WARS DAY came to be ) !

Well, as you may have noticed I wrote several posts that took care of all the birthdays I deemed noteworthy between April the 27th and May the 3rd. Initially I wanted to use the opportunity to make an ALL STAR WARS post without any birthdays but I just had to include all natural 36D - 28 - 36 news presenter Kate Garraway who celebrates her 53rd birthday Today.

To say that I am disappointed with the latest Star Wars releases would be an understatement and you know there´s something wrong when cheap Star Wars rip - offs from the 80s are more entertaining than the new films.

Regular visitors know that I am partial to the original Marvel Comics Star Wars comicbooks - especially since that license saved Marvel Comics - but there were some Star Wars comicbooks from Dark Horse Comics I enjoyed.

Of course one of the best things about the original Star Wars trilogy was Carrie Fisher´s metal bikini outfit in part three which not only became the stuff of horny fanboys wet dreams all over the planet but also created its own cosplay sub genre. Come on, what would comic conventions .... or movie conventions .... or science fiction conventions .... or any kind of convention .... be without a smattering of hot sexbombs dressed up as Slave Leia ? Originally I wanted to include a video of 20 girls celebrating the 30th anniversary of Star Wars : Return Of The Jedi by dressing up as Slave Leia but you can only watch it on YouTube so you have to click this link .

Speaking of which, there are a lot of prank videos on YouTube and I am not a big fan of most of them because they often do horrible or at least very hurtful things to complete strangers but here is one I can get behind.

Now I know how this looks like but don´t let the preview picture fool you ( Although which costume would you have chosen to get the most clicks ? ). There are a lot of Star Wars cosplays in this video not just Slave Leia.

Time for another video with the rack - tastic Angie Griffin, one of the few female cosplayers on the planet who can give walking blow up sex doll Yaya Han and her huge hasian sexsation 40D porn implants a run for their money with her giant - sized ( and 100 percent all natural ! ) 41E double airbags.

Daimn, no disrespect to Scarlett Johansson but Angie is my choice for Black Widow and I bet her huge melons would turn Bucky into Fucky.

If the Black Widow had a body like that in the comicbooks it´s no wonder that Captain America insisted on interrogating her himself after she defected to the West to find out if she was still spying for the russians.

In an undisclosed motel. For a few months. Daimn, maybe it´s just me but Natasha Romanoff lost a lot of sex appeal when she stopped being a russian spy who used her special KGB sex techniques to get intel from hapless american studs with huge horsecocks. It´s the same with figure skater Katarina Witt ( and what a figure : 36C - 24 - 36 ). Ever since the fall of the Berlin Wall and the reunification of Germany she lost a lot of her sex appeal. On the other side she has done a few PLAYBOY shootings since then which we would not have gotten if she was still in East Germany.

Anyway, coming back to Busenwunder Angie Griffin I included this video for two reasons - okay, make that four reasons : it´s not just a cosplay video but also a baking tutorial and it´s a different cosplay than just Slave Leia. I have to say though, daiiiimn, Darth Vader has some big ass death stars ! Is it just me does Angie Griffin look especially hot in black leather ?

Speaking about huge, impressive things and Star Wars, I know that The Mandalorian has started its second season but right now I don´t have the necessary space on my laptop for the new episodes and with all the tough breaks I had to swallow this year I didn´t keep up. Thankfully I managed to avoid spoilers which hasn´t been an easy task. With a bit of luck I can get all the new episodes until the end of the year since being able to watch them would be a great help making this year´s Christmas time bearable.

I don´t know what it is about them butt asian girls are my kryptonite !

 

 

And I don´t want to resort to racial stereotypes that all asian women are natural born prostitutes because of decades of sexual assault but they have the extra oomph that works better than viagra that makes you extra hard - meaning instead of rock hard you get hard enough to cut diamonds - and makes you hear Me so horny me love you long time ! in your head.

 

 

When I first watched the Case Closed anime I found it a bit creepy that a grown man like Kogoro Mouri was still such a raving fan of teenage pop idol Yoko Okino but after seeing a few live performances by different j - pop and k - pop groups I must say their stage shows are really sexually charged.

 

 

These k - pop idols sing like angels, look like playmates, move like strippers and the suggestive and highly provocative moves of their performances would make anybody but the most seasoned porn stars blush. On top of that the audience often gets a glance at these living blow up sex dolls underwear - if they are even wearing any - and if not their outfits are often so tiny that they don´t leave anything to the imagination being strained to their maximum by the k - pop star´s booming bodies boobies so that they are only mere seconds away from a wardrobe malfunction.

 

Now I have already posted about girl group Ace of Angels but it feels like that was ages ago so it´s about time to revisit them. AoA - as they are called in short - are no strangers to getting complaints as their stage wardrobe contains a plethora of colored tight leather pants and there are a few performances and / or videos were their dance routines were deemed too hot like with their hit Miniskirt. Or their song Confused where the couch had to be removed from the stage show because the girl´s antics on it were obviously more than a normal man can bare.

I have to say I´m glad there was such a fuss about it because it made me focus on Jimin, the group member who climbs on the sofa who otherwise might have slipped my attention. Which would have been a crying shame since this purrfect sex - kitten has the best behind in the entire group !

It´s too bad that she does not get more attention but she often gets overlooked because of sexy group member Seolhyun ( which is quite understandable ) who also does have a fantastic backside ( man, who hasn´t in this group ? ) and can gyrate her body like there´s no Tomorrow.

To make up for this unforgivable neglect here are a few videos showcasing Jimin´s - or is it Jiminy ? ( Maybe I´m thinking of Jiminy Cricket although Jimin can be my conscience any time she wants. Especially if I´m the only one who can see or hear her. Can you imagine getting visions of Jimin dry - humping a sofa with her perfect bubblebutt while wearing a g - string with less fabric than dental floss ? ) including a fancam video where she is flaunting her bASSt ASSets. And is it just me or did Jimin have a growth spurt in the last video ? In all of her stage performances and videos I have seen she looks like a B cup - at best - but here she is definitely a DD or even E cup. Daimn, just when you thought Jimin couldn´t get any hotter.

As you know a video with a sexy hasian is obligatory after the K - Pop section and since I don´t have any good ones with Yaya Han it´s Jenny Babas turn. This may be the last one I have left with her in a bikini ( homina, homina, homina ) so it´s high time to catch up with her. Man, this is my 1,200th post and I actually managed to make it a special post.

If that doesn´t call for a special celebration then I don´t know what will.

I already posted the german language version of Capricorn One but it was deleted. The movie plot is about a faked moon landing when the usual " astronauts in trouble " problems arise with the real thing. In the film they say they can fake it " this one time "  which I guess was because they did not want to give all the crazy conspiracy theorists too much ammunition.

When the first Star Wars movie came out there were no BlueRays or DVDs, not even videotapes ( you can ask your grandfather what those are ) and it would be many years until you could see it on tv. So aside from going to the movie theater there was no chance to see it again and the next Star Wars movie wouldn´t come out until a few years later. So we only had the Krieg Der Sterne comics by Ehapa to help us bide our time. But into that dark time came a shining light, a hero and savior to us all : Captain Future.

A lot of people don´t know it but the germans were pioneers in sci fi tv.

That´s right, six years before the first episode of Star Trek aired in West Germany Raumpatrouille a.k.a. Raumschiff Orion hit german tv screens in 1966. I remember that the monitoring desk of the spaceship Orion looked a bit like Doctor Who´s Tardis because the set designer just put anything they could get their hands on in it including a flat iron. And the music was very strange and the people danced in strange ways to it. If I had to describe it now I would classify it as slow techno. Maybe the people who made the show were more visionary than they thought. Now the longtime followers of the blog might say that´s old news and yes, I have written about Spaceship Orion before, but since all the episodes I posted have been deleted and somebody re - uploaded them to YouTube I think it´s about time for a re - post. I would include the new clips into the old posts but thanks to the new blogger interface that´s impossible now ( I bet you´re glad I re - upped so many videos when it was still possible ) so we start - again - with the first episode of this science fiction tv cult classic.

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Was heute noch wie ein Märchen klingt kann morgen Wirklichkeit sein. Hier ist ein Märchen von Übermorgen.