You have read that right. One thing I have learned over the years is that you never know what you might find while doing your research. So while I was looking for some stuff about the german version of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN for my RETURN OF FLASH FRIDAY : DER ROTE BLITZ post I found a lot pages from the MARRIED WITH CHILDREN comicbooks which includes the time the Bundys were transformed into the Fantastic Four .
Longtime readers know that while Markie Post was practically in everything that was on tv in the 70s and 80s she became one of my ultimate sex phantasies on the show The Fall Guy which every male that was alive in the 80s remembers - and we will get to the reason why.
Like most growing teenagers I watched that show religiously but the biggest part of its appeal for me were sexbombs like Heather Thomas and Markie Post who didn´t appear as often in a bikini as I wanted to.
Well, Heather Thomas did since that was her main purpose on the show but Markie Post´s appearances in bikinis on The Fall Guy were very few.
THERE`S SOMETHING ABOUT HEATHER THOMAS - AND HER BLUE BIKINI
But The Fall Guy didn´t just have 80s Power Girl Markie Post they also put blonde bombshell Heather Thomas in the show from the beginning.
She played stunt body double ( and what a body it was ) Jody and her job was to keep male viewers hooked by providing eye candy. She was in all episodes except for an episode in the first season. Yes, fan service is not as new as some people might want you to think and Heather Thomas mainly got the part because of her absolutely amazing bikini body. OMG !
It took a few episodes before she could strut her stuff but once the tv guys got a taste of Heather it happened more often and the famous blue bikini scene was quickly added to the new intro of the second season.
For generations of adolescent young boys the only highlight of the week was the short moment when Heather appeared in her famous blue bikini.
I AM SUFFERING FROM ( MARKIE ) POST TRAUMATIC SEX SYNDROME !
Markie Post played bail bonds contractor Terri Michaels ( who replaced previous bail bonds contractor Samantha Jack played by Jo Ann Pflug ) beginning with Season 2 and at the beginning she played a minor role.
But Markie Post knew that she was destined to super stardom, so when the opportunity arose that one of the producers of the show who was a bit smitten with Markie appeared on the set she managed to set up a few meetings - just to discuss her role of course. Even though he claimed to be happily married the business meetings turned into private meetings which were quickly relocated to a secret no - tell motel where Markie slipped very potent illegal performance enhancing drugs into his drink.
Once the drugs had taken effect and the guy got a huge erection three times as big as usual Markie gave his pulsating boner a double breasted deepthroat massage until his member was hard enough to cut diamonds.
When he started to howl like a werewolf Markie knew she had him in her pocket and used her relentless body and her natural ability to spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker to give the lucky guy who was hung like a horse a Kama Sutra crash course with more than the twenty three positions in a one night stand pumping his cock like a breeding stallion.
Nobody knows which dickdraining techniques she used to milk him dry but in a recently discovered diary Markie Post had stated " just thinking about what I had to do in that motel room makes me sick and thankfully no one knows we fucked because if word ever got out to which sexual practices I submitted him I could get arrested in over fourteen states ".
After Markie had successfully dicktamed the guy six ways to Sunday during these weekend long squirt marathons he was only too eager to convince the rest of the guys in charge what a complete waste it would be to have Markie on the cast without letting her " show off what her Mama gave her " like they say and the rest is 80s tv history. So Markie got more involved in the stories and basically stole the scene from Heather Thomas as soon as Markie donned a bikini ( mainly in season three ).
In The Fall Guy Colt Seavers always tried to avoid Terri Michaels and the reason they gave was that the jobs she got him turned out to be more dangerous than she made them look. But if my bail bonds contractor was a walking sex machine like Markie Post with a fantastic bikini figure and long legs for miles up to her chin I would have taken every job she had.
Of course I would have waited until she was really desperate so I could get a higher price and I would insist that instead of paying in cash she would have to work it off in naturals. In the show Colt Seavers has an outdoor bathtub and I would have ended the episode with Colt using Terri as his personal blow up sex doll in the bathtub while Terri spreads her legs apart wider than a fillipino hooker with her rent money due.
I know that such a scene probably would not have passed the tv censors but if it would have been too much to show full frontal nudity with her they could have shown her back while she was sliding up and down on Colt´s hard boner. Or they could have shown Colt´s back so you could see Markie legs going high in the air and then opening up and slowly coming down on both sides of Colt´s back ending in a perfect split.
Then the camera could switch to the other side and the audience would see Markie´s back as she slowly takes her bikini top off. While she does the splits Terri would then press her naked breasts against Colt´s nude chest which would give us a great opportunity to show a lot of sideboob.
At this point Markie would start to really dicktame Lee Majors bending her torso all the way backwards and the camera would film her from above so we get to see her completely naked upper half. Normally you would see her nude breasts and nippels but I would have Colt grab Terri´s hooters and squeeze them. I don´t think I'd had to convince Lee Majors to shoot the scene while I definitely would gotten Markie drunk.
Now in the past I have never done a proper comicbook movie casting for Markie Post because for me she was just predestined to play Power Girl .
But another role that would have been perfect for her is nymphomanic Nymphini, the titular character of See Wolf's adult comic MAGICAL NYMPHINI in which our always horny protagonist with the body of a Playmate Of The Year uses a super vibrator / consolation penetration device called Maxima to take her to the peaks of sexual pleasure and when she climaxes she experiences the most intense sexual fantasies.
Mouthwatering manic men milking machine Markie Post would have been perfect for the role even if she would not have been in her sexual prime.
Because the comic was published in 1991 at which point Markie was 41 but she did Hearts Afire in 1992 and she still had a banging body there.
I definitely would have schtupped her if I would have gotten the chance.
Anyway, Markie really would have fit the role like the soft lips of a porn star wrap around a hard cock naturally as she had all the requirements : blonde hair, a tireless super bendable body that can entice the most perverse wet sex dream even in the minds of the most gay monks and not only could she spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker when the rent is due she also knew all the positions of such sexual instruction books like the Kama Sutra, the Ananga Ranga or the more modern Joy Of Sex by heart plus there were a few dozen she came up with on her own.
On top of that one of her favourite past times was helping prepubescent and extremely well hung underage boys go through puberty by giving them a double breasted deepthroat dick massage for a few hours before banging their brains out six ways to Sunday until they turn into drooling sex addicted serial rapists. And what would have made the movie even better is that Heather Thomas could have played horny Nymphini's less experienced but more sexually aggressive and sluttier little sister Sonya.
And speaking of Heather Thomas, thanks to her absolutely stunning 37C ( ! ) - 23 - 32 measurements and the exposure in The Fall Guy she became a famous pin up model with posters in every hormone driven boy's room.
Heather even managed to replace Raquel Welch on the number one spot.
80s Power Girl Markie Post is probably the best known cult siren on the blog because not only have I done many re - posts of her original post .
I also keep mentioning her in other posts and her original post is in a Top Ten Posts widget that appears on every post. Since I have done so many different versions it is not so tragic that I did not do a re - post the last years even though I did the last version of her cult siren entry in 2016 .
For some reason I thought they were playing american football in the episode of The Greatest American Hero but at least that explains why ultimate sexbomb Markie Post didn't play a cheerleader. For which she would have been a natural because she had the best set of gams on tv at that time and you know that she was a real pro at spreading those legs.
And even if she would have been considered to be - just a bit - too old to play an actual member of the cheerleading squad she could have been the coach because with her bonerinducing pornstar body she could have easily pulled off the role of the former head cheerleader ( with a huge emphasis on the " head " part because the only way to prevent the horny studs to completely stretch out her private parts during the post game viagra overdose victory fuck marathons with their giant horsecocks was to deepthroat them into submission ) who became famous, did a nude pictorial for PLAYBOY magazine and then went on to manage the girls.
Mainly to try and prevent the sex crazy players from sexually assaulting the cheerleaders 24 / 7 which backfired since she could only get a brief reprieve for them by letting the perverts take turns tag - teaming her like a cheap blow up sex doll since they were in their mega MILF phase.
Coming back to what they could have actually shown in the episode - if it was about american football and not baseball - they even could have included a scene where one of the girls becomes sick or has an accident ( which is code for the bastards ganged up on her and slam - fucked her brains out six ways to Sunday for days until she almost fell into a coma ) and Markie has to pinch hit for her and slip into the old costume again.
Which naturally has become a lot skimpier since her last cheerleading routine but since Markie's body is still banging and she is more flexible than a teenager she can show the sports fans that she still has the goods.
Anyway, since there obviously is no american football in the episode I wanted to at least include a video with cheerleaders and the first thing that came to mind was David Lee Roth's A Little Ain't Enough from 1991.
It was very difficult to find one that is not only in a good picture quality but also has the right frame size and this one even has a little interview at the beginning. Now one thing that has bothered me for ages is that I never could find out the identities of the girls in the video but I'm pretty sure the first girl in the gym sequence is the aforementioned Teri Weigel.
And while the hot babes in the music video are the main reason to watch this they are also the reason why the uncut version of the video was only shown on Mtv after midnight ( and not the midget in blackface as some might think because back then nobody gave a f - word about that stuff ) if you have any information on the sexy girls - especially the redheaded Busenwunder at 2:47 ( man, I wanted a double breasted deepthroat cock massage from this ultimate dicktaming machine so bad and if I had met her in person I would have spent at least a week wearing my dick out on her giant gazongas in a non - stop squirt marathon because back then I was in my sexual prime ) - please let me know in the comments below.
DAYWALKERS, SEXY VAMPIRES, SORCERERS AND ROBBERS OH MY !
Coming back to movie adaptions of Marvel Comics classic books, since I already posted all german videos about the Fantastic Four movies this one is about Blade, one of three movies that brought a renaissance of Marvel movies - four if you count Men In Black as a Marvel property.
Staying on the subject of vampires we have one of the weirdest movies with Ken Russel's The Lair Of The White Worm - based on the story by Bram Stoker of the same name - that has early roles for Hugh Grant, Peter Capaldi and blonde 34C - 23 - 33 bikini beach hardbody Catherine Oxenberg who is best know for the Baywatch rip - off Acapulco H.E.A.T. ( about which you can read more in my upcoming tribute post to Steve Rude's NEXUS ). The highlight of the movie is however Amanda Donohoe as Lady Silvia Marsh, one of the sexiest vampires - and vamps - in history.
We are continuing our series on Krabat with a review of the book by Otfried Preussler which is the one all german kids read for school.
Staying with Otfried Preussler we have the Augsburger Puppenkiste, the most famous marionette ensemble in Germany presenting Raeuber Hotzenplotz based on another bestseller of Otfried. Funnily enough this book - and the two following - owe their existence to Krabat because when his first attempts to write the story were unsuccessful he decided to write a funny book instead of it. And the rest as they say is history.
99 THINGS I MISS ABOUT GERMANY or STUTTGARTER HOMESICK BLUES
Another original of german pop culture who has reached cult status is Schimanski played by the late Goetz George and for your enjoyment we have the 158th episode of Tatort - one of the longest running german crime fiction tv shows that started back in 1970 - Two Kinds Of Blood.
This was the 8th Schimanski adventure and the reason why I choose this episode is that it not only is the only one that has a comicbook adaption by our friend Martin Frei it is also the only Tatort comic as far as I know.
With a FANTASTIC FOUR themed post I would be remiss if I didn't mention The Shield, one of the best tv shows that nobody watched with Michael Chicklis in the lead role who played everybody's favorite blue eyed idol of millions Benjamin J. Grimm a.k.a. The Thing in Bernd Eichinger's F F movies ( which still are the best adaptions of Marvel's First Family ).
In this gritty series he did a complete 180 on his role from The Commish.
Thank god for the preview pictures because otherwise this bonerinducing performance by the Fernsehballett Sexbomben could have been lost in the shuffle as the best part starts around the 45 second mark. These videos are way too short and with 16 pairs of legs that seem to go on for miles I just had to rank this in the top five. Man, as trained dancers they are real pros at doing the splits and just thinking about all the sex many positions in I could have done with 16 ultimate men milking machines if I only had met these girls in my sexual prime, it really boggles the mind.
To calm things down we have underground artist Gerhard Seyfried with Zwille. Like Schimanski Gerhard Seyfried was a big part of the german youth / counter culture in the 1980s although Schimanski was Ruhrpott - based from Duisburg and Gerhard Seyfried is a real Stuttgarter original.
ME SO HOMERUN ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME or SWING BATTER BAE HYE
Coming back to the episode of The Greatest American Hero with 80s 42C - 22 - 35 Power Girl Markie Post, the videos with sexy cheerleaders I had included in this post have been deleted ( so I hope you watched them when they were still up ) but thankfully I found a video with sexy 2019 Musclemania sports model Bae Hye Young wearing a snug baseball outfit although I am pretty sure that this is not the standard baseball uniform.
As usual here is a longer video with Bae - she comes in around the 6:50 minute mark - and I don't want to resort to racial stereotypes like all asian girls are natural born blow up sex dolls but the majority of the dick drainers in this event have the perfect bubblebutt and Bae is definitely no exception. I really would hate to be a judge for this event because every other contestant is a mindblowing Fickstute although I guess the perks of getting a private session with these nymphomanic sex machines - only to judge them properly of course - may be worth any blue balls.
WE ARE FAMILY I GOT ALL MY BIONICS WITH ME WE ARE FAMILY !
We have another callback to Markie Post although a less obvious one as she is best known for her role of bail bonds contractor Terri Michaels on The Fall Guy with Lee Majors who in turn played Colonel Steve Austin and the best way to describe one of my favourite cartoon shows from the 80s The Bionic Six is The Fantastic Four meet The Six Million Dollar Man.
Since there are no full episodes of Bionic Six on YouTube - at least none in good quality - we go with one of the first animes that was shown on german tv. Although back then we didn't know this show was an anime.
As attentive blog visitors may remember I already mentioned The Strangler Of The Tower in my last post in regards to producer Erwin C. Dietrich since it was one of his big hits in the vein of the Edgar Wallace movies before he concentrated on producing soft sex movies. I bet the casting couch sessions ... I mean the casting process for those movies was more fun especially the ones starring german all natural 38D ( !!! ) - 24 - 33 Busenwunder Ingrid Steeger ( and you can read more about her in my upcoming Frank Thorne / RED SONJA tribute post ) which since then have garnered cult status at movie festivals and the home cinema alike.
But Erwin C. Dietrich did not stay in the field of soft sex movies - as lucrative as they may have been. He also had a lot of success with World War II movies like The Wild Geese, Codename : Wild Geese, Escape To Athena, The Sea Wolves, The Commander and Commando Leopard.
Coming back to 1966s The Strangler Of The Tower, like The Nylon Noose it also stars Dietmar Schoenherr best known as Commander Cliff Allister McLane in the sci - fi cult series Space Patrol a.k.a. Space Ship Orion.
A few weeks ago ( well as I'm writing this but still a few months in the future from when this post first was published ) I came across a video with the best german songs for the 2000s which made me realize that while the videos with the german Fernsehballett are really something else I want to also feature more contemporary german songs. And I am starting with band / artist Seed ( whom I may have already featured decades ago ) which was a big surprise because I never expected a german band to incorporate reggae sounds so flawlessly into their soundscape. Also when they dropped their first album they put the entire german music scene on notice. That's how you do a debut album.
IT'S THE END OF THE UNIVERSE AS WE KNOW IT AND I FEEL FINE !
Coming back to the Fantastic Four, we have a video about HISTORY OF THE MARVEL UNIVERSE by Mark Waid and Javier Rodriguez, one of the few highlights in the current pile of garbage that is published by Disney.
Maybe it's just me but every now and then there still are a few scattered projects done under the Marvel Comics umbrella ( although a lot are by other publishers like TASCHEN or IDW ) by people who unlike most of the woke representers and self inserters who are ruining Marvel have a great respect for the original creators and a great love for the characters who just want to tell a good story which reminds us all why Marvel Comics was called "The House Of Ideas ". But not only does this give you the grand tour of the history of the Marvel universe Javier Rodriguez pages are wonderful pieces of art that could be admired independently and every page of this book could be framed and displayed in an art gallery.
Speaking of the Marvel universe, the aforementioned MAN OF BRONZE also has posts on artist Dave Bardin's old school floating heads pictures of the heroes of Marvel and their respective villains and equally nice companion pieces for the DC universe . And apropos those two rivalling universes, newer comicbook afficionados may not know this but there was a time when the sales got so low that in an desperate attempt to save their companies DC Comics and Marvel Comics worked together pitting their heroes against each other in the now classic DC vs Marvel mini series which during the course of the story fused their heroes together and created what may be one of the best things ever to come out of a cheap publicity stunt / money grab : the Amalgam universe.
There were two glorious waves where the top tier talent of the industry gave us the recombined heroes we never knew we needed like Thorion Of The New Asgods by John Romita Jr., the Batman / Wolverine hybrid The Dark Claw, Lobo The Duck, Spider - Boy or Doctor Strangefate as well as a few - not as good - mini series about Extant, a meta human with the ability to travel between those two universes. In any case, continuing with the MAN OF BRONZE links there is also a post about artist Mike Becker who has some drawings of the Amalgam heroes as well as Aquaman, the Justice League of America, Avengers and the X - Men.
Continuing with my the spanish speaking part of my audience Today Ayer Nomas takes a look at the 1989 tv movie Made In Los Angeles and if some thing may seem familiar that's because it was the first draft for Michael Mann's 1995s thriller Heat with Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro and Val Kilmer.
Staying with cop tv shows we have S.W.A.T. a.k.a. S.W.A.T. Police Squadron in Spain. I found a few but this episode has the best quality.
SWORDS OF POWER or THE MASTERS OF JACK KIRBY'S FOURTH WORLD
Coming back to the topic of Arthurian legend and magic swords we take a look at the legendary swords from the iconic 80s cartoon to answer the question which was the most powerful. Apropos King Arthur and magic swords, there are still people out there who believe that Excalibur was the sword in the stone. If you remember the legend correctly the young prince Arthur became king of England by drawing the sword out of the stone. But it was destroyed and THEN the lady of the lake bequeathed Excalibur to King Arthur. I have tried to look up the name of the first sword - I thought it was Caliburn - but there is conflicting information online. Some sources say that the first sword was Excalibur and after Excalibur got destroyed Arthur got Caliburn. There are some webpages where it is the other way around while others claim both swords are one and the same which means that the lady of the lake must have magically repaired the sword to give it to Arthur a second time. And there is even a third sword mentioned but let's not get into that. The thing is that the sword in the stone and Excalibur are not the same sword although with legends like these everybody can make up the version that he likes best.
One of the most famous swords in 80s cartoons is of course the sword of Grayskull a.k.a. the sword of power which in the beginning was only half a sword - with Skeletor wielding the other half - but that was dropped very quickly and came up very seldom. By this time the Masters Of The Universe movie with Dolph Lundgren has reached cult status and it is a guilty pleasure especially for comicbook fans. It is fitting that this video is in a post about a parody of Jack Kirby's FANTASTIC FOUR because the director was a big fan of Jack Kirby's FOURTH WORLD universe so instead of a He - Man movie that took place on Eternia he did his own version of the NEW GODS starring the characters from the Masters Of The Universe.
And that is the reason why they spend so much time on earth in the film.
Since I mentioned favourite versions earlier one of my favourite adaptions of Alexandre Dumas famous D'Artagnan And The Three Musketeers is without any doubt the spanish cartoon Dognatanian And The Three Muskehounds and you can find a lot of episodes - and in high quality - but with the latin american dubbing on this YouTube channel.
Slowly coming in on the home stretch we have another of those ads that were part of a gazillion of comicbooks with the board game Heroquest.
Frequent blog visitors know that the first JoBlo Spain video I included here was The Thirteenth Warrior with Antonio Banderas which tied in with the whole knights and swords theme of the post but since that one was deleted - for whatever reason - instead we have a callback to the previously mentioned Robert DeNiro with Ronin another underrated cineastic masterpiece. I don't know, I never would claim to have a very eclectic taste when it comes to movies but I constantly find some of my favourite films - which I always assume everybody has seen - in the section of forgotten movies or the best movies nobody has ever seen.
Speaking of which I am not even going to assume that anybody has heard of this horror cult classic, the first House film - or An Amazing House in the spanish translation - starring William Katt whom we also featured in this post since he played the main character in The Greatest American Hero. There is even a connection to Markie Post because the main villain is played by Richard Moll best known as Nostradamus " Bull " Shannon on Night Court where Markie Post played public defender Christine Sullivan.
Now I like to end posts with something more uplifting, entertaining and funny so here is another episode of Noches Con Platanito which is not only one of the funniest talk shows made for the latin community but they also have the best games ever. The preview picture says it all.
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