Tuesday, February 14, 2017

A Happy Valentine´s Day with Paul Ryan

Even when it is not Friday I am late with the Flash posts but I hope it is not too late to wish all my faithful readers a happy Valentine´s Day.

Last year I did a special Valentine´s Day post about the worst break up in comic history EVER and this year I wanted to continue the tradition. But I could not find any information as it seems nobody has ever compiled such a list. All I could find were comics about break ups or comics about life after a break up or comics which are supposed to help you get over a break up. But no posts about break ups in comics. Either it´s something you don´t write about or there are no other bad break ups in comics ( who believes that ? ) or it is something that is ignored on Valentine´s Day.

I have to say Valentine´s Day was always a bit suspect for me especially the way little kids were forced into a popularity contest in the PEANUTS cartoons that is sure to make them spend a fortune for therapy later on. I mean, it must have been a sick individual that one day decided : " Hey, let´s have little kids write each other Valentine Day cards so that the kids who are not popular anyway can feel even worse. " So in this spirit of vain self adulation I thought about doing a post about my top Valentine honeys but lately the babe factor has reach a dangerous level and since these kind of posts can get out of hand very quickly I decided against it in the end.

So I could not think of any other bad comic book break ups from the top of my hat and since I couldn´t find anything online there was only one other direction : a post that fits in with the theme of Valentine´s Day.

Originally the plan had been to post FLASH 129 as a prelude to Valentine´s Day and then do something else Today but since I didn´t get to do my usual FLASH FRIDAY WITH PAUL RYAN post I am hijacking the whole thing and turning it into a Valentine´s Day Special. Now this is the third part of the Hell To Pay story line and if you have missed part one and part two of this you might want to go back and read those first. Like I promised in my last post this issue shows how a comic master like Mark Waid could have resolved the whole BRAND NEW DAY mess in five minutes although you have to keep in mind that Joe Quesada started with the premise of completely destroying the Peter Parker Mary Jane relationship. So he set Spider - Man up to fail from the beginning. Which could have been the topic of Today´s post now that I think about it. On the other hand I have always preferred to be positive and light a fire than to curse the darkness.

So instead of Joe Quesada´s bad imitation of the story here is how things SHOULD be done in comics. The hero gets to kiss the girl at the end. Yay !

By the way, now I know where DC front man Dan Didio got the inspiration that started the whole NEW 52 fiasko. Is anybody surprised at this point ?

Since the ever - growing list of links threatens to become overwhelming and unmanageable I have decided to include some even if they don´t have much to do with Today´s topic. Now the first ones do tie in even if it may be a bit late ( it´s from 2014 ) for this Best Art Ever gallery on COMICS ALLIANCE that´s all about Valentine´s Day. Continuing SCANS DAILY post on The Many Weddings of Dick Grayson is also two years old and I almost forgot The Cloud With The Lethal Lining from Adventure Comics 466 on DIVERSIONS OF THE GROOVY KIND written by Cary Bates pencils by Mike Nasser a.k.a. Michael Netzer and inks by Vince Coletta in all the posts.

A few days ago I thought about buying DC´s Superman : A Celebration Of 75 Years but thankfully I read Chris Sims´ post What DC´s SUPERMAN : A CELEBRATION OF 75 YEARS Says About How They See Their Flagship Character on COMICS ALLIANCE . I already have the Flash book and as I´ve written in an earlier post in my opinion Wally West gets the short end of the stick. It seems now that Barry Allen is the Flash again - in comic books and on tv - they want to forget it ever happened. That´s the only logical explanation why from over 200 issues of Wally West as the Flash they only picked four and not even four of the best ones. They picked his first appearance as the new Flash, one issue from the Rogues War, they DID pick one issue by Wike Wieringo but it´s the zero issue from ZERO HOUR which is not canon and a random annual that looks boring. There were other issues they could have picked that would have been better suited.

Judging from the amazon customer reviews the other books from this line don´t make much more sense either and it really bears the question under which criteria they picked the issues. It´s definitely not the best stories - maybe because they want to sell a line of Best of Flash books somewhere down the line - but also not stories that have not been reprinted before.

Well, according to Mr. Sims it is even worse with the Superman book as they seem to deliberately have picked stories that do not show us the Superman everybody knows and loves ( the one who always triumphs without going the easy way because he not only is an optimist but really smart ) and instead promote the new Emo Superman that seems to be all the rage Today in comics and movies who has to stoop to the level of the villains he fights, who seems to be insignificant and inconsequential in every story, a superhero wimp who throws in the towel whenever he is confronted with real world problems and who is sad and helpless most of the time. As I said, I´m thankful that I found Chris Sims review because that is not my Superman and it´s only one of the reasons why I don´t read any of the actual Superman books. And there is like a plethora out there.

Speaking of the current abysmal movie version of Superman, Jason Iaonne at CRACKED has 6 Specific Reasons Why Superhero Movies Ruined Comic Books, Jim Avery knows 4 Signs DC Comics Has No Clue How To Make Superhero Movies , there is Luke McKinney´s article on 5 Superheroes Who Should´ve Gotten Movies Before Ant - Man which for some reason does not include Terry Hooper´s favorite, Gilgamesh and David Christopher Bell has found 6 Bizarre Signs That Hollywood Is Stuck In A 10 - Year Loop . 

Last but not least, for those who think this post has not enough hot babes check out some GIFs of 41E hardbody Abigail Ratchford washing a mini in a bikini on THE JOBLO NETWORK and speaking of bikini babes, GIF PLANET has some GIFs and bikini pictures of the sensational Kate Upton. LISTAL has a nice Jessica Lucas GIF collection, KING MAG has the 5 hottest Christina Milian GIFs ever - which are still not as hot as this giant - sized HQ GIF of Rihanna´s almost - wardrobe malfunction on SNL, apparently you have to re - evaluate your life if these 11 GIFs of Katy Perry don´t arouse you but for the best body in all of showbiz go to the JANET GIFS tumblr .

Since we only have one other birthday in our entertainment block Today I want to mention horror movie cult siren Hazel Court, whose anniversary was on the 10th this month about whom I wrote a long post last year. Since there is nothing I can add to improve the post at the moment I did not do a re - post but all who´ve missed it might want to follow this link .

As somebody who experiences this special day from scripture rather than from real life experience I am not sure to which extent horror movies fit the occassion but since I posted The Masque Of The Red Death last year here is another one with Hazel Court, Doctor Blood´s Coffin from 1961.

One reason why I keep doing the birthday section is that there are so many things that interest me that a lot of them fall to the wayside and it´s only for the post research that I remember Roger Langridge´s 50th birthday. I pimped his Thor and Snarked books but after that I somehow lost track. Well, it seems like he has been busy as the writer of Dynamite´s Mandrake The Magician and a new Betty Boop series. He also did a 4 part mini series for Boom ! called Abigail And The Snowman I knew nothing of.

As it has been quite a while since the book came out I could not find anything about it on YouTube but here is the intro to a show called The Slammer. I think this is a british show ? Maybe Terry Hooper can explain.

Even though I decided against doing a Top 10 list of my Valentine´s Day dream dates I had to include real life Power Girl Erika Andersch whom guys from my generation may recognize as Diamond, the blonde double D sexbomb of german descent with the killer body on American Gladiators.

Not only to continue the tradition of including Power Girl in the FLASH posts ( Erika Andersch was my first reader request in my SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL series ) but also because so far I could not put the video on the blog. As usual I had started doing the GIFs myself but then something else came up and I had to postpone it again and again which Diamond obviously didn´t like very much. That is one reason why she was so popular with the male viewers : her XXL - sized, round ... crazy eyes.

With her overdeveloped chest which she displayed freely thanks to her tight uniform´s generous cleavage Diamond would have been perfect as Power Girl and she oozed more sex appeal doing something as simple as climbing up a ladder than other women have being completely naked.

And I´m sure her warm up exercises shot an entire generation of teenagers through puberty prematurely. Daimn, I wish I could have had a physio therapist with her build during my rehab. I would have even paid out of my own pocket for a few tantric oral lingam massage sessions.

Coming back from my Nuru fantasies to Diamond, the best part of the show was when she was in Hang Tough where you could see every inch of her body. She always did it so effortlessly and gracefully and I bet she could have given Spider - Man a few pointers about web - swinging.

Her opponent, Michelle " Rack Attack " Ramelot ( with a name that sounds like rammed a lot I´m sure she got worse nicknames than this ), also has some nice airbags and I bet a lot of guys dreamed of being in the middle of that sandwich at night while venting their sexual frustration mercilessly pounding their exhausted girlfriend´s / fiancee´s / wife´s / secretary´s / teacher´s / co - ed´s / house maid´s / busty stepsister´s brains out.

There is not a man on the western hemisphere whose loins were not afire and growing rapily when watching Diamond climb all over her opponent while wishing she would rub her body all over him - only to be rudely interrupted when she finally managed to bring the contestant down.

Yes, just when you had reached the point where you were hard enough to cut diamonds ( I may be permitted a small play of words here ) it was all over and with a bit of luck you had managed to record it with your vcr.

God, I feel old. So that all those unfortunate souls who have never experienced Erika Andersch here is the best clip I could find on YouTube. And I don´t expect this to last very long so don´t wait too long with watching it. How goes the saying : Diamond is a man´s best friends.

And no, I´m not implying anything by posting this video right after Erika Andersch but come on, which audition should I pick for a Valentine´s Day post if not the one that has Valentine in the title ? Just listen and enjoy.

We can´t end without a Flash video so here is one from Batman - The Brave And The Bold with 3 Flash Family members, including Jay Garrick.

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

Don´t make me angry. You wouldn´t like me when I´m angry.


Terry Hooper-Scharf said...

No TV so I don't watch it but I do know that The Slammer is a BBC TV childrens talent show. "The Slammer" is UK jargon for prison. I never got why it had to be set in a prison. Van Buren the Magician was on two (?) episodes. Known in the 1980s as Andy Yoxall he was a small press stalwart and behind Hardware and other zines.

SUBZERO said...

Well, maybe they thought it would be a good idea to show the kids where they could end up if they went into showbiz ? Something like the SCARED STRAIGHT program in America where they take school kids to visit inmates in prison.

Terry Hooper-Scharf said...

yeah most popular kids entertainers of the 1960s to 1970s are now in jail