Thursday, September 08, 2016

Happy birthday cult siren Heather Thomas

Today Heather Thomas celebrates her 59th birthday so I thought this is the right time to finally give her own post after mentioning her so often in my Markie Post re - posts. Maybe this will be just the part with Heather Thomas since the full post is too long, maybe I will just flip things around.


What´s funny is that I was preparing stuff for the annual Markie Post re - post but I totally forgot that I could use some of the material to finally have a separate post for Heather Thomas so while I was kind of preparing for this I also got caught unaware. I was preparing to make some new animated GIFs for Markie Post but because of something I forgot I had to take a break with cutting down the screenshots to a manageable size.

And when I wanted to continue with it I realized that I threw away the paper where I had written down to which formats I was cutting it down so I don´t know if I can finish it. The GIFs might turn out looking a bit wonky. In any case there are a few new GIFs with Heather Thomas which I will post here. Speaking about posting : if you tried to get here through a link from one of my partner blogs and it tells you that this post doesn´t exist there is a simple explanation for that. For some reason whenever I actualize this post to get it to look how I want blogger for some reason not only makes those changes it also saves a draft version of the post which naturally comes up before this post. I have no idea why that happens and if this will be a permanent thing which would be really annoying but you can still get to this post via the main blog link. 

As with my other re - posts I tried to do a shorter version but as usual it might have turned out to be in fact longer but I have added a lot of new stuff - since most of my readers have already read this in one form or another. Nevertheless you can of course check out the original post with 80s real live Power Girl Markie Post - right here. So it´s time to give this tv cult siren from my youth some props and take a stroll down memory lane.


BIRDS WITH NO FEATHERS or SHE´S NOT A MOANER SHE´S A SCREAMER 

Now there is this period in life where you are already interested in girls but because you´re still not 18 you can´t get the PLAYBOY, which in the times before the internet was a big thing. So as a pubertal boy in his prime you were looking for other stimulation which could be books, pulps, pin ups, BRAVO starpuzzles or comics with Black Canary in underwear.


THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD 166 pairs the Dark Knight Detective with the Blonde Bombshell in a tale called Requiem for Four Canaries written by Michael Fleisher with pencils by Dick Giordano and inks by Terry Austin.

Despite the top notch creators the issue is best known for the pages with Black Canary in underwear which at that time was pretty unusual, I think.


And in the story the Penguin only strips down Black Canary because he has another woman posing as her. You know, if I was a super villain I would strip every captured super heroine - just as a matter of principle. And I probably would not leave them underwear because you never know what kind of miniature gadgets there might be hidden. I think the last time I read something with the Penguin was when he was on BIRDS OF PREY during the Ed Benes run, and he was pretty much getting his perv on.


Follow the link to DAVE´S LONGBOX post on Black Canary´s underwear and you will see that I wasn´t the only one who studied this panel intensely.


So my age group had different sources for hot massitas and one of them was comics although in that regard not that much has changed. She may have worn many different costumes but Black Canary´s still a hottie.


Although with the NEW52 that may not longer be the case. My brother had the new BIRDS OF PREY book on his pull list but he has long since dropped it so I have no idea what´s up with Black Canary. I mean, those guys made Amanda Waller skinny so they might have fattened up Dinah.

And speaking about Dinah Lance, I´m a huge fan of the ARROW tv series and I was totally surprised that they turned her sister into Canary. They really pulled her character off very nice on the show even the costume.


On top of that she got some serious fighting skills, I mean she really kicks ass on ARROW. And Caity Lotz is one sexy babe. The scene where she´s drifting after the shipwreck were she´s just wearing wet underwear and you can literally see everything ? I almost creamed my pants only from watching that. And she has some impressive cleavage as Black Canary.


You know, there are a lot of posts that I have prepared but never get around to do and one of them is my TOP TEN BLACK CANARY COSPLAY, like most of my cosplay related posts. I have been postponing my big Yaya Han post and there is always something else coming up. I hope I can get to do another cosplay post before the end of the year but I doubt it.

 
Okay, back to the hot babes that were available to me in my youth. Like I said I found some of them in the pages of four colored funnybooks but most often it was television. There were a few tv shows that were indispensable if you wanted to join in the schoolyard conversations, which were must see tv. One of the shows we watched was THE FALL GUY , in german EIN COLT FÜR ALL FÄLLE - A Colt in any case - don't ask me, typical unrelated german translation at work here. The original title is a clever play on words since a " fall guy " can be a scapegoat who will take the fall for someone else so to speak, a stock character which is a two dimensional archetype on television or literally someone who takes the fall for someone else like a stunt man does for the actor in a movie.

THERE´S SOMETHING ABOUT HEATHER THOMAS - AND HER BLUE BIKINI

The series had everything a good tv show needed : a cool main character, car chases, fisticuffs, explosions, shooting, monkeys, dangerous stunts, a lot of celebrity guest stars and the hot hardbody of Heather Thomas.


She played stunt body double ( and what a body it was ) Jody and her job was to keep the male viewers hooked by providing eye candy. She was in all episodes except for an episode in the first season. Yes, fan service is not as new as some people might want you to think and Heather Thomas mainly got the part because of her absolutely amazing bikini figure.


It took a few episodes before she could strut her stuff but once the tv guys got a taste of Heather it happened more often and the famous blue bikini scene was quickly added to the new intro of the second season.


For generations of adolescent young boys the only highlight of the week was the short moment during the intro of FALL GUY where sexbomb Heather Thomas appeared in her famous blue bikini ( if she - or later on Markie Post, or both of them - didn´t wear a bikini in the episode ).



Jody was the female sidekick to main man Colt Seavers ( played by Lee Majors ), a very capable and sexy young woman who Colt saw as his equal or at least like a surrogate daughter. Which was a bit frustrating for her since I think she had a crush on him which he - of course - never realized.


I´m not sure what Lee Majors is doing at the moment, the last two things in which he appeared that I know of was the BEN 10 live action movie ( which I sadly missed ) and his cameo on the final episode of Season 1 of HUMAN TARGET where he played OCC - Original Christopher Chance.

But Jody Banks was the reason guys watched THE FALL GUY.....well, apart from Colt who was just too cool. Which is something that I realized later when the show was in reruns. When it first aired I couldn't watch many episodes but later on I caught them in the rerun. And I realized that Colt suffers from what many writer refer to as the " Superman Syndrome ".

It is the effect certain characters like Superman have on some writers - because he's perfect and invulnerable it's difficult to get the reader to connect with him and they don´t know what to do with him. Which can lead to strange storylines, relaunches and ultimately even to reboots.

If a character is never in real danger and is perfect in everything he does - nobody cares for him. He's boring. Colt can do whatever he decides to do he's always the best. Which is the reason why when you watch the episodes the second time you realize that Howie Munson is the real hero.


That's right. Howie is the one who is not perfect. Quite contrary ! You can almost be sure that he fails no matter what he tries. What makes him the hero is that he keeps on trying no matter how often he fails. Studying was apparently not his thing so he decided to do the most dangerous stuff he could think of - becoming a stunt man. He just jumps into the pool without looking if there's any water in it.

And yes, that's the comic relief in most episodes but for me Howie personifies the guy who accomplishes things through sure determination and endurance. He has no super powers like Colt but he just puts on the Superman costume and tries to fight Lex Luthor. When you see the show the first time as a kid you want to be Colt because he´s just perfect but when you watch it again after you´re older you begin to admire Howie.

Another thing I only got when I saw THE FALL GUY for the second time was who the people Colt knows are. When I first saw the show I didn´t know most of the famous people on the show with a few exceptions.


I knew some of the actors or actresses but with most people I only knew that such - and - such was a famous singer, actor, director or whatever because it was mentioned in the episode. Yes, I have to admit that when I first saw the Elvira episode ( " October The 31st " episode 7 of Season 4, in which Jody Banks is Elvira´s stunt double and I have to say, either Heather Thomas has way bigger boobs than Elvira actress Cassandra Peterson or she used a ridiculous amount of  padding to achieve Elvira´s trademark cleavage ) I had no idea that she was a world famous horror hostess. Which in no way diminished my enjoyment of said episode.


When I first saw the series the fact that Colt had two jobs ( stunt man and bounty hunter ) was a bit strange for me but seen from Today´s perspective - where most people have to do two or more jobs to make ends meet - the show was more visionary that I thought. Colt was the prototype of the modern Twentyfirst Century Man so to speak.

Another thing about THE FALL GUY I found strange - or better about american tv series in general - was how many people were bounty hunters. It didn´t strike me as a very safe profession : you are chasing bad guys and criminals, you risk personal injury and a single stray bullet can get you into an early grave. Despite this all there were dozens of tv series with bounty hunters in it long before Dog, and in RENEGADE even the main character who was on the run from bounty hunters was a bounty hunter. By the way, if you don´t know RENEGADE ( oh, how I envy you ! )  you should avoid at all costs unless you´re a really big fan of Gambit or Lorenzo Lama´s wife Kathleen Kinmont who´s real centerfold material.


Anyway, a former cop who is on the run from bounty hunters and works as a bonty hunter. Isn´t that the worst idea ever ? I mean, how does he know that he´s not going to meet another bounty hunter while he´s hunting a fugitive and then the other bounty hunter suddenly recognizes him from the wanted poster : " Hey, I know your face. You´re that other dude the police is searching. You´ve got a bigger reward than the guy I was after in the first place. I think I´m going to bring you in instead. "

Not that RENEGADE was the epitome of logic but how did they miss this one ? And they even had an episode in which all the bounty hunters met.

What I didn´t know was that all one has to do is absolve a one week course and pay a 50 Dollar fee to get a bounty hunting license. And if you are after the right guy the reward money is more than you can earn in a regular job. If that´s a possible career for you check out the wikipedia page about bounty hunters , read the FAQs about How to become a Bounty Hunter or visit the main page of Be A Bounty Hunter.com .

My favorite part is Can a felon become a bounty hunter ? because the answer reminds me a bit of those Radio Eriwan jokes we used to tell in school. In general, the answer is " no " but there are exceptions.........

HEATHER THOMAS´ MISSPENT YOUTH ( YOUTHFUL BODY THAT IS )

But back to Heather Thomas . Thanks to her absolutely stunning 37 ( ! ) - 23 - 32 measurements and the exposure in THE FALL GUY she became a famous pin up model with posters in every boy's bedroom from that time.


She even replaced pin up goddess Raquel Welch on the number one spot.


Careerwise Heather just didn't manage to cash in on her popularity with her mostly male audience because she didn't want to use her physical attributes to succeed. It was what made her famous in the first place but Heather thought she could do without it. Which is often a mistake.

When you have managed to position yourself in the business - no matter in which niche - it's very hard to have success when leaving that niche.


Heather had managed to place herself in the top spot as " hot blonde bikini babe " but when she tried to enter the " actress with a body like a playmate of the year who doesn't take her clothes of " sector there were already hundreds of actresses there - with far better acting abilities.

It's the same thing that happened to the LADY DEATH comic.


Through the hard work of many years CHAOS! COMICS managed to put her in the top spot for hot comic chicks in the HORROR / GOTH / FETISH section. But that wasn't enough so they changed her white skinned goth bikini look to a more normal looking caucasian blonde woman.


The only problem was that she was now competing in the same sector as Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Jessica Rabbit, Lara Croft and all the other hot comic babes. And the others had decades to fortify their fan base.


So she lost most of her old fans and didn't win many new fans. Sometimes it's better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a big pond.


Nowadays Lady Death has returned to her horror / goth roots but I don´t know if her readership is back to the old numbers. I used to read the series mainly because of the art by Ivan Reis who became more popular when he went on to draw books like GREEN LANTERN, BLACKEST NIGHT, BRIGHTEST DAY, the surprisingly good rebooted AQUAMAN ( one of the few NEW52 books worth reading ) and JUSTICE LEAGUE but the latest issues of LADY DEATH haven´t reached the quality level of her glory days.


Like Lady Death Heather Thomas tried the big pond only to become a small fish and the high points of her career were her parts in THE FALL GUY and the screwball comedy ZAPPED where she showed her lingerie.


Beyond that she appeared in CYCLONE and RED BLOODED AMERICAN GIRL, the last one being soooo 80s but not in a good way : it has all the worst cliches from the 80s. It also combines the cheapest SFXs available at that time and a really bad collection of awful dialogue and bad ideas. Two hours of my life I´ll never get back and THANK GOD that genetics went in a totally different direction. Watching this was actually painful !

MARKIE POST : HABEAS CORPUS MAMMARIUS MAXIMUS FANTASTICUS

Anyway, beginning with season two another hot babe appeared on THE FALL GUY : Markie Post. She played bail bonds contractor Terri Michaels who replaced Colt´s previous bail bonds contractor Samantha Jack played by Jo Ann Pflug and boy, what an improvement that was. What a tomato !

 
At the beginning she played a minor role but one of the producers must have realized what a waste it is to have somebody like Markie on the cast without letting her " show what her Mama gave her " like they say Today.


So she got more involved in the stories where she stole the scene from Heather Thomas as soon as she donned a bikini ( mainly in Season 3 ), like in the scene below from " Inside, Outside " episode eight of season three.



Markie was just as hot in a bikini as Heather if not hotter. If I would have had to pic one at that time I don´t know who I would have chosen.


TV viewers got a first look at Markie Post´s 36 - 24 - 36 measurements on THE FALL GUY in the episode " Baker´s Dozen " in Season 3 episode 4



NIGHT COURT was another of my favorite series from the 80s although as usual german television policy kept it from reaching a big audience in Germany. Like NORTHERN EXPOSURE it was on after midnight and I don´t know what the translators did smoke when they came up with HARRY´S WUNDERSAMES STRAFGERICHT ( Harry´s woundrous criminal court ).


I guess they went for that option because in Germany there is no such thing as a night court. In Germany court sessions take place during the day and if you have read Kafka´s THE TRIAL you know that bureaucracy is more important than speedy justice. Here you have to wait for justice until the sun rises. In America the system of night courts was started to battle the overwhelming flood of street crimes in the 80s - at least that´s what I think but I couldn´t find any webpages to verify that.

The series NIGHT COURT was quite funny and had Saturday Night Live comedian Harry Anderson as the unorthodox Judge Harold T. Stone, John Larroquette as lecherous prosecutor Reinhold Fielding Elmore ( Tomar - Re on GREEN LANTERN FIRST FLIGHT and Mirror Master on THE BATMAN ), Richard Moll as bailif Nostradamus " Bull " Shannon and various others.


Richard Moll not only appeared in THE FALL GUY in an episode called " The Human Torch " he also had appearances on SLEDGE HAMMER, THE DUKES OF HAZARD COUNTY and SMALLVILLE. He´s also a very prolific voice actor who did Two Face on BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES and BATMAN AND ROBIN, the Abomination on the 60s INCREDIBLE HULK cartoon, Scorpion on NEW SPIDER - MAN and Java on JUSTICE LEAGUE. I have included his iMDb sheet because his resumee is just too damn long. The show is also famous because Brent Spiner from STAR TREK had his first big break on it.



Now while Markie got to show her goods in THE FALL GUY the producers were much more timid in NIGHT COURT. There were a few occasions in which she had a hot outfit but mainly she wore a business suit - even if it could not conceal her best assets. Her absolutely stunning physique was often addressed in the show by guys constantly hitting on her - which was the realistic part. If she were a public defender I bet that all the guys in town would get into all kinds of trouble just to have her defend them.


But don't despair true believer. There was Christine´s Friend, the 17th episode of the 4th Season, in which Markie showed what she's capable of. The plot was that she tried to go against her image by dressing more sexy and of course it didn't work - at least in the show. In real life : DAIMN !!!


Now this was clearly just a cheap plot by the writers to explain why a hot sexbomb like Markie didn't show more skin - especially since she had already done so in FALL GUY. And it wasn't that she didn't look as hot as before. No, quite the opposite was true. But I didn't mind because at least she showed a cleavage window in that episode to rival Power Girl.


Man, I can just imagine if they had done a Power Girl movie with her back then - ah, the countless missed possibilities of bared bodaciousness.


Now with THE FALL GUY there is at least a chance that you have seen the episodes and the show might even be in reruns on german tv stations.


The DVD collections were released pretty late, Season 1 on January 2008 and Season 2 on November 2008 with no release date for Season 3. 

 
Because the rest of THE FALL GUY still is not out on DVD since I last re - posted this here are the other two episodes with sexbomb Markie Post in a bikini ( that I know of ) Inside, Outside and Undersea Odyssey.




One last thing I have to mention about Heather Thomas : when I went over her imdb rap sheet I saw that she was on the SWAMP THING tv series and at first I thought they meant the cartoon show. But no, there really was a real live SWAMP THING tv series. How did I not know this ?



I wanted to add the episode from which the scene of Heather Thomas in the blue bikini that was used in the intro was from but since I could not find that here is another episode with Heather Thomas in a blue bikini.



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