Thursday, August 20, 2015

JLA casting Hollywood edition - Big finale !

Some of my readers may have doubted this day may ever come but this is the last part of my Hollywood Edition fantasy casting for the JLA movie.


Well, I had some doubts myself but since this post is rather long there is no part about the JLA comics and let´s get right to the candidates :

Monica Bellucci as Wonder Woman ( Diana Prince )


A woman with steel in her eyes, the beauty of Aphrodite and the ability to turn all men into babbling, drooling idiots. Yep, it´s a description of Wonder Woman but it also sounds pretty much like Monica Bellucci.


Monica Bellucci can fill out the Wonder corsage quite well with her 36C chest, and I wanted to cast her in a movie where she is not degraded, abused, forced into prostitution or raped like in most of her films.


Shheeesh, what´s wrong with the movie industry ? It seems the only roles for women with big breasts are either prostitutes or rape victims ( or raped prostitutes ) and one of the few movies where Monica is not a victim of sexual assault is the ASTERIX movie where she was Cleopatra.


Wonder Woman was in quite a few versions of the JLA so I could as well have put her in the first part. I think I´m going to do that in the special SUBZERO edition. But for now she´s here with the more current members.


Ninel Conde as Zatanna Zatarra


One of the favorites of male comic readers and female alike - at least judging by the number of bodacious cosplayers who dress up as her - this part is played by the actress from Mexico with the impressive 40C rack.


Ninel Conde is a mexican singer and actress and - with her incredible chest size of course - model who has starred in the very popular telenovela REBELDE which you can see in a lot of countries like Spain.


The show was on during one of my stays in Spain ( which tells you how long ago that was ) and first I thought it was a continuation of the mega successfull tv show REBELDE WAY starring the megahot Luisana Lopilato.


The argentine telenovela was even on german television but I missed the first chapters. It takes place in a prestigious private boarding high school for kids of the argentine elite and gifted children so singing and dancing is a big part of the curriculum. Luisana plays Mia Colucci who is a bit of a snob and queen bee at school ( her Mom is a famous fashion designer ).


Luisana shot to prominence when she displayed her booming underage body in a sexy dance number giving millions a feeling of guilt about their raging woodies caused by 16 year old Ms. Lopilato´s rumpshaking.



She filled out quite nice and millions of horny shutins could breathe a sigh of relief when she came to legal age and still had a booming body.


Luisana also played the latin counterpart of Kelly Bundy in the argentinian version of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN : CASADO CON HIJOS. There was also a german version but of course the german version sucked. 


But coming back to Ninel Conde, whenever I zapped into REBELDE there was something boring going on so I had to go to the internet to watch her parts on the show which was the mexican remake of REBELDE WAY.

Ninel Conde was born on September the 29th 1970 in Toluca which means that when I made the post with her red plunging cleavage dress from the Latin Grammy Awards she was around ...... 40 years ? ? ? Holy Makarel !


I bet if you look in the mexican dictionary under MILF ( or MMIGF in that case ) there´s a picture of Ninel Conde. And it´s a probably a foldout.


She also starred in FUEGO EN LA SANGRE ( Fire in the Blood ) and she has received the Golden Sun Award as well as the Golden Palms. Her singing career doesn´t seem to be unsuccessful either since she was nominated for a Latin Grammy Award in 2003 where she wore the red dress. I would like to post the complete set but that would bust the limits of this post.


Talking about busts and a complete set ( am I the undisputed master of the segueway or what ? ) I tried to find out the correct size of her breasts but since there are rumors that she had plastic surgery her cup size varies from 34C to 38DD to a whopping 40C - depends on the website you ask.


She could also pull off Wonder Woman or Catwoman but she also got the radiant smile, long legs and breathtaking cleavage for the Magic Maid.


Who could pay attention to anything she does on stage while transfixed by her mesmerising orbs ? I´m feeling my wand getting bigger right now.


Catherine Bell as Catwoman ( Selina Kyle )


I had cast her as Hawkgirl since she looks a lot like her and even has the same hair. But it makes more sense to cast Catherine as Catwoman.


I mean even her name is Cat. Okay Cat - herine, same difference. I never understood why Harm was always trying to get together with other women on JAG when he had such a total knockout right next to him. The entire male staff of the base was probably falling all over each other trying to score with her - except for Harm. It was as if Harm was doing everything he could to avoid good sex. Well, some people can´t be helped. The short australian dude knew right away that she was prime marriage material but it would never have worked since she really wanted to be with Harm.


The jugs of JAG would look good as Seline Kyle lounging at the pool in a micro bikini made of dental floss or in the skintight Catwoman costume.


I don´t think she would do topless or even nude scenes, but if I can´t get her to wear the sado maso costume from the Halle Berry movie at least I have to put the same stipulation in her contract as with Halle. The zipper has to be open - at least - two inches below the bellybutton at all times.


Who knows, we might get an encore performance with the blue bikini.


Here´s a clip with Catherine Bell´s entire blue bikini scene :



As you can see I wrote this when Catherine Bell was on JAG but it seems staying with the military roles has paid off since ARMY WIVES seems to be another huge success. And speaking about huge : Catherine still got it.


Another thing on my " to watch " list are her The Good Witch movies.


And that´s the final part of my Hollywood casting for the Justice League movie so next time it´s back to my special SUBZERO edition of this.

Yes, I said back to the special SUBZERO edition because I already posted Roberta Vasquez ( Big Barda ), Cynthia Brimhall ( Maxima ) and Monique Sluyter ( Fire ) in the JLA MOVIE CASTING : ANDY SIDARIS SPECIAL post.


Anyway, like I explained previously the SUBZERO edition is not dependent on if the candidates have been in any Hollywood movies and porn movies count as acting credit since you also need skills for those. Not necessary acting skills but those actresses also are very talented so there are a few pornstars in there which made finding pictures that were really hot but at the same time also still safe to post on the blog difficult in some cases.


I also had to split the two original posts into various parts and I can´t say how many I´m going to end up with. In any case if you liked the posts so far it´s only going to get better and much hotter in the next installments and if you don´t like these posts just skip to the comic posts inbetween. 


Today´s post was for the biggest part about latina sexbombs so here´s another video of Luisana Lopilato´s sexy dance on the telenovela REBELDE WAY, just in case the one I posted above gets deleted.



And we´re staying with telenovela sexbombs with the next video that has Ninel Conde as Jane and busty Gaby Ramirez with an incredible cleavage.



Speaking about incredible cleavages one reason why I posted the next video where Ninel Conde´s huge melons almost pop out of her yellow dress is that you can watch it in high resolution, which you should do.



Since I probably never get the chance to mention her in another post here´s Francisca Undurraga with what must be the best exercise I have ever seen. If she was in my physio group I would go at least every day.



Usually I put a cartoon with the Justice League into these posts but I just couldn´t find a good one with La Liga de la Justicia or Los Super Amigos. Since the other videos are from latino tv I wanted to post a latino video of the Justice League since there are some things that sound better in that version like Ciudad Gothica instead of Gotham City or are just weird like Batman´s secret identity as Bruno Diaz. But since I could only find small parts here is a longer video : QUIEN ES EL PASAJERO No 11 ?



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Death in comics : Alpha Flight prelude

You probably expected the second part of MARVEL VISIONARIES - CHRIS CLAREMONT and I have to say it would have been easier to continue with that since I already have all of the pictures prepared. But I like to write about comics while they are still fresh in my memory and I just finished reading ALPHA FLIGHT CLASSIC 2 so it´s time to do my introduction to the little superhero team from Canada that could a.k.a. Alpha Flight.


Because there is at least one post in my DEATH IN COMICS series coming that deals with deaths - and resurrections - in the series and I have to explain a few things before I can go into that without any tangents. And any day I get to wax nostalgic about John Byrne´s work is a good day.

And before we start I should probably mention that there are going to be some spoilers. So if you want to avoid those better get all three volumes of the ALPHA FLIGHT CLASSIC trades and read them before continuing.

ALPHA FLIGHT ORIGINS or IN THE ALPHA THERE WERE THE X - MEN

Now when I say introduction I don´t mean that I´m going into all the details how the glory that was John Byrne´s ALPHA FLIGHT came into being or an exhaustive post on the history of the team and its members.

There are other websites out there who do that far better than me and you can find the ones I came across during my research for the post in the link section as usual. No, if you know this blog a bit you might expect a post that´s a touch more personal and the only history I´m exploring here is my own history with this book. As many comic readers and Marvel zombies at a time when that was a term of endearment and pride I first saw James Hudson a.k.a. Weapon Alpha´s debut in UNCANNY X - MEN 109 ( which I probably read in the spanish version by Edicionés Vertice or those awful pocket books by the german publisher Condor Verlag ) when he tried to repossess Wolverine´s ass back for the canadian government.


That didn´t work out too well and all James Hudson managed to do was injure Moira MacTaggert, which peed off all the X - Men but especially Banshee and Wolverine and he narrowly evaded capture thanks to a trick that should not be revealed to comic readers for more than six years. 


Yes, as incredible as it sounds to Today´s comic readers UNCANNY X - MEN 109 was published in February of 1978 ( back then they still came out only every two months ! ) and ALPHA FLIGHT 17 which retold that story from James Hudson´s perspective hit the newsstands during December 1984.


Leave it to John Byrne to recycle almost an entire X - Men comic in the pages of Alpha Flight. But then we´re talking about a guy who had the balls to sell Marvel almost an entire issue of blank pages with word balloons and sound effects. So it should surprise no one that he reused the cover of UNCANNY X - MEN 109 for the cover of ALPHA FLIGHT 17.


Now I think that was around the time when James Hudson changed his hero nom du guerre from Weapon Alpha to Vindicator and as anybody who has ever had to deal with the government or its institutions or officials knows they never forget and they can hold a grudge like nobody which obviously was true for the canadian government in the Marvel universe.

Because in the pages of UNCANNY X - MEN 120 and 121 he was sent back to America to bring those canadian taxpayer´s investment in Wolverine home and this time he was aided by a team of canadian superheroes.


Or at least part of the team that should appear in the pages of ALPHA FLIGHT as neither Marrina nor Puck had graduated from Beta Flight yet.


This also didn´t end well for Banshee who was still suffering from a raw throat after blanketing the entire island of Japan against an earthquake beam of Moses Magnum. He lost his powers for quite some time and it took him years to recover. What ever happened to the luck of the irish ?


Back to Alpha Flight, it seemed like it was the end for the team - and it was at least in the pages of THE UNCANNY X - MEN. But being a canadian himself John Byrne could naturally not let this team of homies from the great north rest and on August 1983 they got their own ongoing series.

ALPHA FLIGHT ISSUE 20 or THIS IS THE PART WHERE I CAME IN

Now I would like to say that I was there from the beginning but the truth is that I read most of the first year in those cheap spanish trades that basically were five single issues glued together with a cardboard cover.

The reason why I wanted to write this special prologue post is that the very first american comic I bought of a newsstand was ALPHA FLIGHT 20 which not only introduced villain Gilded Lily but also Aurora´s new look.


She adopted this new look to further distance her from her twin brother Northstar with whom she had a falling out at the time. I don´t think it was yet revealed that Northstar was gay but somehow it was in the open.

Back then her powers were that she could fly and move at great speed and when she and Northstar touched hands they generated a blinding flash of light - which they had no control over. So when Aurora wanted to become more independent from her brother fellow teammate Walter Langkowski a.k.a. Sasquatch was more than thrilled at the prospect of getting rid of her pesky brother ( he was shagging Aurora at that time and I´m sure there´s a joke somewhere in there ) and decided to pimp her powers.


Now while the process managed to retain Aurora´s power of creating a flash - although not as bright as before - the unexpected side effects was that when she ans Northstar now touched both their powers were canceled out for a brief period. It also reduced her speed from potentially above light speed to two times the speed of sound but managed to change her genetic make up to cloak her from mutant detection devices. So I guess you have to take the good with the bad. In any case with the new powers came a new look which has always been one of John Byrne´s strong suits.


I won´t lie, part of the reason why I decided to buy this comic instead of an issue of THOR written by some guy I never heard of ( I think his name was Simon Walterson or something ) with art by Sal Buscema was Aurora.


Don´t get me wrong I was a diehard John Byrne fan at that time as most readers of american super hero comics were and it didn´t exactly hurt that she was mostly wearing a bikini in this and the following issue. 


Although I didn´t get to read issue 21 until much later since it was still a few months until I had found out how to get issues of US comics through the foreign press newsstand at the main railway station in Stuttgart.


When I became a regular customer the next issues of ALPHA FLIGHT I could lay a hand on where between issues 25 and 27 which was long after Guardian´s death in issue 12 ( yes, James Hudson had changed his name again ) and smackdab in the middle of their rematch with Omega Flight. 


Like with most comics from this period I´m not entirely sure in which order I read them and where I bought them. But it´s a safe bet that I found ALPHA FLIGHT 21 either at the Comicbörse in Stuttgart or the International Comic Salon in Erlangen because those were the main sources of american back issues for me at that time. What I DO know is that I definitely got issue 25 at the newsstand as well as issue 28 which not only was the end of John Byrne´s run on the title who switched with the creative team of INCREDIBLE HULK, Bill Mantlo and Mike Mignola.

ALPHA FLIGHT 28 also crossed over with one of my favorite companywide Marvel tie - in stories, the granddaddy of them all : SECRET WARS II.


Granted, it only crossed over for all of two pages but it was apparently enough that the money grubbing bastiches from Disney - or was it still Marvel at that time - chose to include it in the SECRET WARS II  omnibus. Which means that I get an extra issue with gorgeous John Byrne art out of the deal. It looks like Gordon Gecko was right : greed really works.

And that´s where this post ends and we will continue talking about ALPHA FLIGHT 28 either in an upcoming SECRET WARS II post or in an upcoming DEATH IN COMICS post since there are still many ALPHA FLIGHT issues to cover concerning the death and possible return ( curious ? stay tuned ) of James Hudson a.k.a. Weapon Alpha a.k.a. Vindicator a.k.a. Guardian.


Next up is the final installment of my Hollywood casting the JLA movie which includes actresses from Italy, Argentina and J.A.G.s Catherine Bell.


Now I know some people will be relieved about that but don´t skin the cat before the baby has fallen into the well or something like that because we still have the JLA CASTING : SPECIAL SUBZERO EDITION coming up which are eight more posts, not counting the Andy Sidaris special and the Janet Jackson post which I decided to retroactively post on Janet´s birthday. So you see we still have plenty of hot cult sirens to uncover before continuing our regular more comic related posts with the second part of MARVEL VISIONARIES - CHRIS CLAREMONT. Or something completely different.

Before coming to the usual bells and whistles at the end of the post I want to do something I haven´t done in a long time, namely pimping a book. I recently purchased three books from Fantagraphics new artist centered EC collection and one of them, Sucker Bait and other stories by Graham Ingels is still available at a bargain price of 16.53 EUROS at amazon.de. 


The regular price tag on this book is 28.99 Dollars so it´s almost at half price. As usual you should not wait too long before ordering it because there are only two copies left. Now if you don´t know who Graham Ingels is you can check out this page from Fantagraphics which has a video of the book or you can read this post by Jason Sacks on COMICS BULLETIN which has many art sample pages from the book by Graham Ingels :

Graham Ingels is the poet laureate of the EC horror comics. His stories are some of the most iconic of the entire line, full of newly revived corpses, horrific villains and some of the scariest moments that have ever been put down on the comics page. When fans think of EC horror, chances are that they think of " Ghastly "'s phantasmagorias.

Along with his brilliant depiction of the dead, Ingels was equally adept at drawing the lives of the living (
and those who were soon to be dead ), nearly always in the midst of a spell of fury, confusion or fear. Leafing through Fantagraphics's glorious collection of twentyfive of Ingels' 110 EC horror tales, Sucker Bait reveals page after page of characters screaming at each other, or crouching in fear, or screaming in unfathomable horror. The most fearsome images may have been Ghastly's famous animated corpses, but the real terror was in the faces of those dealing with evil.


Link time : COMICS IN CONTEXT has a short recap of of the Alpha flight series with covers from the John Byrne run although it seems the site hasn´t been updated since 2006 - which explains why it says there are no trades of the book. BIFF BAM POP also talks about Titanic Teams : John Byrne´s Alpha Flight and my spanish readers might want to check out 





Our first video is an X - Men / Alpha Flight fan film I found a while back. Not the worst fan film I´ve seen although it needs a bit of polishing.



Speaking of fan projects here´s the trailer for a Captain Future movie by a german production company. So far there has been no further news but even if it will be extremely difficult to fulfill the expectations of Captain Future fans worldwide I´m hoping for the best. This really has potential.



Since I mentioned the cult horror comics from EC here is the original TALES FROM THE CRYPT movie from 1972. This may be a re - post ........



My next video is in lieu of the passing of Yvonne Craig ( you can find a full post on COMIC BITS ONLINE ) who was most famous for portraying Batgirl on season 3 of the 70s BATMAN tv show. Since I couldn´t find Mars needs women and I´m not so sure about Ski Party here is 7 Women from Hell where she co - starred with Cesar Romero who played the Joker. 



Now this is the point where I usually post a cartoon video, mostly a really bad one from the 80s or 90s. But Today I want to do things a bit different.

After seeing this video by Nostalgic Critic I want to feature some of what I consider to be the best kids cartoon shows. While I agree that there are some really good cartoon shows for kids out there I disagree that shows like ADVENTURE TIME or REGULAR SHOW are among them. So far I have seen some episodes and they not only have some of the worst art I have ever seen I am not sure that kids are really their target audience. While it may be that they contain longer more complex storylines all episodes of ADVENTURE TIME or REGULAR SHOW I have seen so far have to do with dating, girls or a combination of both which is definitely not something kids would be interested in. At this age most boys think girls are yucky and most girls have other things on their minds than boys. I think this is something adults think are interesting for kids, those that have forgotten their own childhood. It´s like in those countless movies people make about their school years that have to do with trying to get the first kiss which is a complete mindfudge because most of my time in school was all about comics, books, sweets, tv shows and toys. Yes, there came a time when I became interested in girls but by that age I wasn´t a kid anymore.


I was what you call a teenager, so these new shows are not really for kids but rather for teenagers. Also, while I don´t think kids will freak out if there is a gay character on a tv show there is a thin line between being unafraid to show a particular sexual lifestyle in a tv show and the gay / lesbian / bi - sexual brainwashing that is going on in the moment and ruining not only young kids minds but also characters like Hercules.  



So the first show for kids I want to recommend is a bit older but one of my favorites : BOB MORANE, based on the french comic which was based on the novel series by Charles - Henri Dewisme. I didn´t know this but there even was a black and white tv series produced in the 1960s.



Back to the cartoon series, my first Bob Morane video is in french and I picked this because it´s almost one and a half hours long. The song at the beginning is BOB MORANE by french rock group Indochine created in 1981.



Since we are talking tv shows this is the first episode in french.



I couldn´t find the first episode of Bob Morane in german so here is Folge 2 instead called Operation Wolf, mostly for my german readers. Achtung !



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best