Friday, January 23, 2015

Happy birthday cult siren Tiffani Thiessen

Since she´s celebrating her 41st birthday Today I thought it´s about time to bring the post about Tiffani Amber Thiessen ( Thyssen ? ) on this blog.

You see ? I always get this confused. I think it used to be Thyssen but because she didn´t want the Hollywood people to known she had german ancestors she later changed it to Thiessen. Or maybe that´s just the way they wrote her name in Germany. Anyway, this fastlaning sexbomb - who has the best natural breasts in Hollywood according to Howard Stern - has been scorching the tv screen for quite some time with her curvaceous hardbody and her big 37DD Beverly Hills to the delight of males worldwide.

I never was a big fan of the BEVERLY HILLS, 90210 show but that quickly changed when I saw wet Tiffani Thiessen´s booming breasts in a bikini.

Well, that and later Tori Spelling´s sexy dance in a skimpy leather outfit.

If you can call her wild fertility inducing movements dancing. She really was just shaking her big boobs in the general direction of the camera.

But that she did very effectively. I never was a big Tori Spelling fan but in that scene she really squeezed her breast into a tight leather top and just pushed them straight in your face. Now that´s what I call entertainment.

In that episode her prude boyfriend ( I thought he was played by Tom Welling from SMALLVILLE but that´s not him ) sees Tori getting filmed while shaking her ass like a total prostitute and he gets totally pissed off.

What a dork. If you see your girl doing a sexy dance like that you don´t get jealous or angry. You tell her : " You´re fantastic babe. And you know what ? You don´t need to change before coming home. Bring your tight leather outfit, the handcuffs and the dog collar, bring the heavy metal soundtrack and we will make our own private sex recording session. "

Man, if she got such stripper skills you should have her using them on you. And I´m sure shaking her ass and boobs is not the only thing she does like a total prostitute. Dude, I´m not a huge Tori Spelling fan but if I had caught her somewhere in that tight leather hooker outfit when I was at my sexual prime I would have given it to her until I´m pumped dry !

What I find a bit strange is how did such a scene get approved when her father was producing this ? Should I be concerned that Daddy dearest put it in the script or does this say more about his employees. Maybe some disgruntled writers just decided to put his boss´ daughter into a hooker outfit and let her dance for him as payback for sleeping with his wife.

" Okay, Tori, do you think you can move more like a prostitute ? And we need to make the outfit sluttier. This is supposed to be a rock video. "

Here´s the clip of that scene from episode 27 of season 6 STRIKE THE MATCH. I don´t think it will be long on YouTube so I made a few GIFs.

It´s in one of the two DVD sets I bought a while ago. The complete seasons have been pretty expensive for the longest time - between 40 and 50 bucks - so when they released them in two parts for under 10 bucks each I got the two most important ones. Of course now they have released new DVD collections where you get complete seasons for around 15 bucks so I have to see if I can still find the other part of the seasons I bought for less than what they now charge for a complete season. Damn.

One thing about BEVERLY HILLS that cracked me up were all the imagined problems these poor rich kids had. Because let´s face it, the rich kids may have problems too but at least they don´t have to worry about where they are going to sleep or where their next meal is coming from. Oh, my Dad won´t let me use the Mercedes and now I have to drive the Porsche to school. Or Brandon who always preferred his integrity to living in the real world. But the funniest episode - I really laughed out loud during this one - was when one of the kids realized that he became a drug addict. " But I can´t be a drug addict. Only poor people get addicted to drugs ! " 

Anyway, I now had two ( or was that four ? ) reasons to watch the show.

But while Tori got her big breasts from Daddy´s money Tiffani got hers from Mother nature. The show is always on reruns but I always miss it.

Nonetheless here is one of the most memorable scenes with Tiffani.

On an episode of Beverly Hills ( episode 28 of the 8th season in Amerika and for some reason episode 27 in Germany ) Tiffani falsely thinks her boyfriend is sexually bored and buys supersexy lingerie and a bag of sextoys. But since she is mistaken her boyfriend is rather scared of her.

In real life he would be all over her. I mean, if a sexbomb with such huge hooters like Tiffani would be in my bedroom wearing black lingerie and telling me : " I´m ready for anything. ANYTHING ! " ....... holy makarel !

Again, here´s the clip with that scene from YouTube :

Tiffani Thiessen also starred in SAVED BY THE BELL but I didn´t watch many episodes of the show. Even if both she and her co - star Elizabeth Berkley developed into supersexy bombshells. I remember my younger brother always watched it - they did marathons on Saturday mornings during the summer vacations in Spain - but I think I was always too busy with important stuff like reading comics or drawing superheroes or such.

That´s a big part of pop culture I really never had access to so I don´t have fond memories of Tiffani Thiessen and Elizabeth Berkley from that.

Man, who could have known they would turn into such ultimate sexbombs ? Boy, getting them at the same time, now that would be a hot sandwich !

Especially Elizabeth Berkley showed some impressive hip thrusting skills in SHOWGIRLS. I bet this was useful when she was on the casting couch.

Although widely labeled a " flop " the movie more than made its money back on video and DVD sales. I mean who is going to see a movie in the cinema where you want to rewind or see some scenes in slow motion ?

Besides Elizabeth the movie also features Rena Riffel who was also in such erotic classics like STRIPTEASE ( number two on my strip Top Ten ),


So even as SHOWGIRLS is considered a really bad movie by movie critics ( yeah, and we all know how much they know about movies ) it´s still shown on television and is on the top ten list of best movie striptease.

I really have to thank Paul Verhoeven for discovering Elizabeth Berkley´s dormant stripper qualities. We always knew she was absolutely hot but who could imagine what a natural born pornstar she would turn out to be ?

But back to Tiffani. In BEVERLY HILLS, 90210 Tiffani Amber Thiessen ( I´m still referring to her as Tiffani Amber Thiessen although she goes with just Tiffani Thiessen now - maybe because her initials were TAT and she was tired of all the " tit for tat " or " tat got tits " or " tat´s big tats " jokes ) often wore bikinis or at least bikini tops or had to dress up as a prostitute because the script ( = the drooling director ) demanded it.

Those directors got it made, they just go " Okay guys, in the next four episodes Tiffani dresses up as a prostitute. And she has to do at least one striptease and two nude sex scenes in each episode. Which is really necessary for her character. Oh yeah, and send her to my trailer for .... extreme rehearsal. We have to go over the scene ... orally. " Those horny perverts are to thank for that Tiffani was so often in bikinis on that show.

But she dressed more conservative on FASTLANE. Although the show was an absolute abomination of bad acting, bad writing, illogical plots and characters without profile I suffered through it in the hopes of seeing some hot scenes with Tiffani but they were few and far between.

She also was on an episode of JUST SHOOT ME but I don´t know the show and only saw the clips of the episode online so I can´t add much more.

As for movies with Tiffani, I have seen SHE FOUGHT ALONE ( where her ex - boyfriend and BEVERLY HILLS co - star Brian Austin Green played a role ), which is your run of the mill rape drama although Tiffani has some good scenes in it, SWEET DREAMS, where she is topless but still covered and you can almost see a nipple and her strip in SON IN LAW is really the only reason to watch the movie. Unless you´re a Pauly Shore fan. The movie was called SCHWIEGERSON JUNIOR in Germany because Yahho Serious´ EINSTEIN JUNIOR had just been a huge success in cinemas.

There are two Tiffani Thiessen movies on my " to watch " list and the first one is THE LADIES MAN also starring THE FRESH PRINCE´s Karyn Parsons.

I don´t know anything about the movie besides some clips I´ve seen but it has Tiffani in lingerie so I´m already sold. What more do you need ?

The other is HOLLYWOOD ENDING and I don´t know much more about that movie except that Woody Allen plays a role opposite Tiffani Thiessen. And that´s really all I can say about Tiffani Thiessen as I´m sure part of my readership is already appalled by this. In any case, many happy returns !

I thought I had to post just comic related videos in this section but now that I already posted that I couldn´t find the videos on YouTube they are up again. But since you never know how long they will last - and it took a lot of work making these GIFs and looking on the internet for them - the GIFs are going to stay on the post. And the videos are not good quality.

The first one is a compilation will all the best of Tiffani Amber Thiessen.

The second video is in response to the scene with Tori Spelling in the leather hooker outfit. Now THIS girl moves like a born bellydancer.

And speaking about bellydancers, one of the best is Didem Kinali or simply Didem from Turkia. She gained some measure of international recognition since she started appearing on the live Turkish variety tv programme the İbo Show, hosted by İbrahim Tatlıses. Brought up in Gaziosmanpaşa, she is of romani descent, her mother immigrated from Thessaloniki, also a belly dancer, and her father immigrated from Yugoslavia, a drummer.

There are a lot of videos with Didem Kinali on YouTube but I picked this one because you can watch it in the highest possible resolution, which is really what you want. And because I found a GIF so if it ever is deleted ...

And to close things out for Today here is spanish tv hottie Paula Prendes. That´s a really nice pair of ........ ponytails you got there ! Masssitaa !

I can´t end this post without a cartoon and I think the GEN 13 movie fits perfectly with Today´s topic. I had totally forgotten that this existed !

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

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