Sunday, January 10, 2016

Happy birthday to Janet Jones Gretzky !

Today Janet Jones Gretzky celebrates her 55th birthday so I thought it´s time to re - post her entry. The plan was to re- post the entire post and pimp the original post with some GIFs I had made the last few weeks.


But I guess that it´s true what they say about the best laid plans of men and mice because after adding all the GIFs the strain was too big and the page did not load completely anymore. So I had to cut a lot of stuff and pictures. Thankfully I had saved the original post which I restored and as there was too much I had to cut for this version this has turned into the re - posted version which is mainly about Janet Jones. I will probably have to do three new posts : one for Janet Jones, one of Leslie Easterbrook and one for Becky Mullen which will concentrate on the part about them although it will incorporate stuff about the others. I´m not sure to which extent until I have finished them but you can find the original post here .

The post about Janet Jones started as a way to give props to one of the unsung heroines that transform otherwise unwatchable b - movies into bearable entertainment. It was also a possibility for me to talk about the POLICE ACADEMY movie franchise and a whole lot of other stuff. Janet is of course best known for appearing in POLICE ACADEMY 5 - ASSIGNMENT MIAMI BEACH in a stunning white swimsuit presenting her best assets and she´s one of the reasons people still watch the movie. Or at least wait for the parts with her in them to be over before zapping to something else.


Nowadays nobody really watches the complete movies anymore because thanks to a seemingly neverending number of sequels Hollywood has managed to completely ruin the franchise. I remember seeing the first one in the theater and coming out pretty overwhelmed because at that time it was really a novel concept. And I still think the first part holds up pretty well. Not that it´s the big cinematographic gem but it´s funny and entertaining if you haven´t seen the gags repeated in the other sequels. It sure launched a few careers since it brought Steve Guttenberg a big career boost and gave Bubba Smith and Michael Winslow their big break.


Although I have to confess I´m not sure what Michael Winslow is doing right now. I know he did some really bad german movies starring Thomas Gottschalk and written by Thomas Gottschalk ( who else would cast Thomas Gottschalk in a movie who didn´t owe him a favor ? ) but also better stuff like SPACEBALLS and ROBOT CHICKEN. Steve Guttenberg was pretty big in the 80s and 90s but to the current generation he´s probably best known for playing corrupt town mayor Woody Goodman on VERONICA MARS with the lovely Kristen Bell in the lead role of plucky successor to Nancy Drew, Veronica Mars. I guess I just appeared on all search engines because I mentioned Kristen Bell. Speaking about VERONICA MARS, Charisma Carpenter also has a part on the show who is of course best known for playing Cordelia on BUFFY and later on the spin off ANGEL.


Besides VERONICA MARS Charisma Carpenter was also in episode 11 of season 5 of BURN NOTICE where she showed that she still has it.


Which brings us to Enrico Colantoni, who plays ex - sheriff / ex - private eye / new sheriff Keith Mars and he also was on an episode of BONES which is the new series of David Boreananz who plays FBI agent Seely Booth and who also played Angel first on BUFFY and then on ANGEL. And Kim Catrall - who later on had more SEX AND THE CITY - also appeared in the first POLICE ACADEMY movie. Like I said, it was pretty good but with each sequel the quality has gotten worse and worse and the only good parts were the ones with hot babes like Janet Jones who is the only reason anybody can suffer through these pieces.

The other reason is Leslie Easterbrook who plays megabusty police officer Debbi Callahan Callahan and had her best scene in POLICE ACADEMY 4 - CITIZENS ON PATROL where she was in a pool with a wet t - shirt .


There have been some requests for HQ GIFs of the scene but these are the best I could find. If you find any in better quality please let me know.


Leslie Easterbrook´s secondbest clip is in POLICE ACADEMY 5 when she´s on the plane and two boys stare at her cleavage thinking her fast asleep. If you pay attention you see how she first yells at them. But then when they try to check her out again you can see her flashing a proud grin and pushing her boobs up a bit so they can get a good eyeful of her melons.

Which shows what a sense of humor Callahan has and that despite everything she´s still proud of her quite distracting breasts .

She probably got that from Leslie Easterbrook, the voluptuous actress who portrays Callahan and appears in most of the POLICE ACADEMY movies, who seems like the kind of actress I’d love to have lunch with. She knows exactly what kind of movies she’s in, and plays the part with a vicious commitment unseen in most comedies of this ilk. She’s perfectly o.k. with being objectified and in interviews seems amused and tickled at some of the things she’s had to do. Pragmatic, flirty, professional and practical, Easterbrook is one of the stars of the POLICE ACADEMY series and may well be one of the women who influenced my fixation on confident blondes with big breasts that kick ass like Power Girl.


Leslie´s Callahan was kind of empowering for women, she was strong, intelligent, kick - ass tough as nails, independent and secure in her sexuality. Physically she was superior to most men who came across as rather stupid and one - minded most often suffering - or inflicting upon others - heavy injury while being distracted by her centerfold curves.

Now back to playmate Janet Jones Gretzky who was a few times on the cover and inside of PLAYBOY magazine


and yes, she that famous icehockey player´s wife.

As her appearances in the pages of PLAYBOY have proven she´s one hot masssita and since she looks absolutely boobielicious in a swimsuit she takes over Leslie Easterbrook´s part as eye candy - at least partially. In an X - Men movie I would cast Janet as Dazzler.


Or she could play my favorite X - Girl Tabitha Smith a.k.a. Boom Boom ( because of her big Boom Booms ) since they could be twin sisters.


And so you can get idea what that would look like here are some scenes from POLICE ACADEMY 5 - ASSIGNMENT MIAMI BEACH with Janet Jones in a white swimsuit or just watch the movie. If you do don´t be surprised to see Rene Auberjonois who played Odo on STAR TREK - DEEP SPACE 9.


Janet Jones, whose film credits include BEASTMASTER, STAYING ALIVE, THE FLAMINGO KID, A CHORUS LINE, AMERICAN ANTHEM and A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN also did a workout video where she wears a white suit. 


White really is her colour. I guess I would have bought her workout tape and I wouldn´t have regretted it from the short clips I was able to watch.


Janet really shows her best parts ( like her perfectly sculpted ass !!! ) and in some instances there is some nipplage visible through the thin fabric.


The tape is available through amazon so there still must be some demand for it. I´m not sure who can play it since the only way to get something equipped with a VCR is one of these combo machines that have a DVD player and those are going out of style as everything is Blue Ray now.

Speaking about hot PLAYBOY covergirls / centerfolds : Pamela Anderson hasn´t made a workout tape ( her most famous tape is more kind of a home video ) but she was on an episode of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN with Becky Mullen of which I found some GIFs while doing the research.


It´s the episode where Al is having these dream sequences with first Becky, then with Pamela and then with both fighting over him but each time it´s about to get interesting Kelly - of course - wakes him up.


I really can´t decide who´s hotter in the episode, Pamela or Becky. I mean Pamela is Pamela, my very first candidate for the SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL series but Becky is nobody you would throw out of bed either. The scene when she takes off the business suit is just extremely sexy. WOW !


Becky appeared in a few erotic movies like SINFUL INTRIGUE, which is extremely difficult to find because there seem to be at least ten movies with this name and you want to get the right one. In the movie she´s a hot babe who gets taken advantage of by her bad boyfriend who makes her do some hardcore stuff which she´s not comfortable with.

Basically he treats her like a prostitute which is not okay. Even if she has the measurements to be the centerfold of a certain publication for men I already mentioned twice in this post you should treat her with respect. But her husband is not even trying, I mean no flowers, no presents, no nice dinner, just " Slut up, wife ! " and then it´s " Wham, bang, not even Thank you, Ma´am ! " What a dork. On top of that he cheats on her with every other woman he comes across like his nymphomanic hasian porn masseuse Mai - Ling ( really, like there are no other names for asian women, but that´s Hollywood for you ) played by ultrahot Chona Jason, who gives him a special massage - one of the best scenes of the movie.


Oh, there is one decent guy in the movie who has the hots for Becky Mullen - her neighbour - but of course she keeps him at a distance and only does it with him out of pity when he´s ill. Just like in real life.


The guy who treats her like a prostitute gets to do her every which way day in and day out the whole year while the nice guy finishes last.

There´s some kind of murder story involved but the important thing is that Becky Mullen gets to strut her stuff and wears some kinky outfits. If you have a chance you should watch the movie, it´s quite entertaining and the story doesn´t distract too much from the erotic parts of it.

Now, all of this might not be interesting but the reason why I´m even mentioning it at all is that besides having parts on almost every tv show from RENEGADE to CYBIL to MADtv to PACIFIC BLUE to HUDSON STREET to HIGH TIDE to BLACK SCORPION and appearing in Andy Sidaris´ HARD HUNTED movie she also played the part of Sally, the Farmer´s Daughter.

Not on Playboy Late Night or in an erotic movie but on the first season of GLOW, Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling one of the few shows with female wrestlers shown on german tv. At that time as a wrestling fan you took what you could get and I´m not sure if the show was really that serious.


 Although there was this one episode where one of the female wrestlers had an accident and sprained or dislocated her elbow and they kept repeating that footage over and over during the show. Which was really freaking me out. There were some weird characters on the show and I remember having a thing for Palestina who had quite a big rack.


This is the clip with the best quality I could find on YouTube where she goes up against Olympia. Man, I totally forgot that she never wore a bra.



I think GLOW aired around the time when the legendary CATCH UP show was on RTL presented by Joe Williams and Horst Brack der Bestrafer ( Horst Brack the Punisher, obviously named after the MARVEL character ).


While the wrestling matches ( NWA, CWA and WCW ) were interesting the best parts were the banter between straight man Joe Williams and heel Horst Brack. And of course the highlights of the shows was the interview section BRACK´s PRANGER ( Brack´s pillory ) where Horst Brack either buttered up his guests or trashed them depending on whether he liked them or not. But Horst Brack wasn´t just like most people all talk and even participated in a few wrestling matches. I tried to find the legendary fight against Rene Lassartesse but the only video I could find was this one with a tag team match between Horst Brack & Rolo Brazil vs Rene Lasartesse & Indio Guajaro.



Horst Brack a.k.a. Rochus Hahn a.k.a. Robi is also a prolific comic writer who wrote such german cult comics like MENSCHENBLUT, DR. DIPPERZ ( the german version of Dr. House only this one really IS insane ), HORST, LUNA, ARSINOE or ALRAUNE. One of THE coolest guys in german comics.


I remember that every time at the INTERNATIONALER COMIC SALON ERLANGEN he was nominated for best writer or best comic with his newest publication from SCHWARZER TURM and most of the times won.

Since I managed to slip Power Girl into this sexist post here is a video of cosplay queen Yaya Han as Power Girl which I may have already posted.


What is interesting in the video is that even if they choose a woman to interview Yaya she still can´t help but look right at her boob window. I always tried to avoid looking at women´s breast in a too obvious way but since I read that 90 percent of women look at another woman´s breast first I have gotten a bit more relaxed about it. I mean I know why I look at a woman´s breast, it´s a biologic imperative, genetically imprinted for the survival of the species and can´t be helped. But why does a woman look at another woman´s breasts first ? To check out the competition.



Because the previous video may be a re - post here is another cosplay video where villain Fan Boy gets the upper hand against Power Girl.


The video is not that funny but the woman who plays Power Girl really fills out the magical boob window. I think it´s Vegas PG but I´m not sure.



Today´s first music video is an animated video of the song The Devil Went Down To Georgia by Primus. At least I think it´s by Primus but there´s also the same video on YouTube as the Rednex´s official video.



What I DO know : this is the original version by The Charlie Daniels Band.



Another version of that famous song some people may be more familiar with is The Devil Went Down To Jamaica from The Muppet Show.



From cult sirens to cult tv shows, we close Today´s post with another episode of CatchUp featuring Joe Williams and Horst Brack, Der Bestrafer.



New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

9 comments:

Ray Dwyer said...

Crrrrringe! I thought this was a comic book blog and found this sexist trash. Please. Remember your blog is potentially being seen by all ages not just your creepy buddies.

SUBZERO said...

If it´s okay for them to read about lesbian Batwoman and gay Iceman I think they can handle wet t - shirts.

Ray Dwyer said...

Hey. What a strange homophobic throwback you are. The comics you refer to are not sexualised, unlike your soft porn images of women.

SUBZERO said...

Well, I could make the same comment about being heterophobic. I don´t know what a sexualised comic is supposed to be but they are propaganda for homosexual / lesbian lifestyles and while I don´t think comics are automatically read by kids I can´t accept this logic that readers are adult enough to cope with these themes yet some harmless pictures they can see in a PG rated movie will scar them for life.

Ray Dwyer said...

Propaganda? What rubbish! They're merely presenting gay lifestyle choices as equal to hetero choices. That's EQUALITY and FAIRNESS not propaganda. Real propaganda was the years of presenting gays as unnatural or ignoring their existence.

Ugh your site and attitude stinks.

SUBZERO said...

But gay lifestyle choices are not equal or we would not have been having this conversation. It´s an alternative but it´s not the norm or normal. It is not equal and that is not fair but also something one can´t ignore.

And the way those issues are now forced into every comic book if that´s not propaganda than I don´t know. Like people are now saying the theme of UNCANNY X - MEN is homosexuality because they are different and homosexuals are different so it must be about homosexuality. Well, newsflash, not everybody who is different is homosexual. But thanks for being as bigoted as the rest of the world.

Ray Dwyer said...

If you weren't homophobic you wouldn't even mind gay characters being in comics. It's normal for THEM therefore it's normal and no one should object. Your stance on it is like a racist saying he doesn't like a black Captain America or an anti feminist saying he doesn't like a female Thor. It's the story that's important and if gay, black, or female characters allow them to explore a new direction then bring it on! At the very least it exposes what bigots people like you are, getting annoyed at superhero comics for having gay characters. Ugh. That's pathetic! Grow up and enter the 21st century.

SUBZERO said...

I don´t mind gay characters in comics. One of my favorite comic books was ALPHA FLIGHT and they had one of the first gay characters of the Marvel universe, Northstar in it. But they did not at some moment decide he was gay. It was in the comics from the beginning.

Another comic I really liked was YOUNG AVENGERS and guess what ? There also was a gay couple in it, Wiccan and Hulkling. And they also were gay from the beginning. Nobody said : " Hey, Wiccan and Hulkling seem to be good buddies, why not make them gay ? We could sell more comics that way. "

I don´t mind gay characters being in comics. And I don´t mind bringing in new gay characters to tell certain stories. Emphasis on new. If you just make a character gay despite his history and you couldn´t be bothered to look among the already existing gay characters out there who may have been used - or you make a character gay because you want the big headlines - that´s bad writing. And I´m not interested in that.

You say I´m a racist if I don´t like a black Captain America. Which I never said. I said I don´t like that they have made the Falcon the new Captain America. He is a good friend of Steve Rogers and has been his partner for a long time so it´s logical that Steve asks him to take up the mantle. But throughout his history Sam Wilson has always fought against being the token black guy on the Avengers - which is how he came on the team in the first place - and against being in Captain America´s shadow as just his sidekick.

Okay, maybe Falcon becoming Captain America is him stepping out of his shadow like When Wally West became the Flash. But I don´t know if it would not have been a better idea to introduce a new black character who could be Captain America. I mean, it doesn´t look to me like Sam Wilson REALLY wants to be Captain America. He doesn´t even wear the uniform. There have been a lot of different people who have been Captain America over the years. And guess what ? They all wore the Captain America uniform. Only Sam Wilson does not wear it. So is he really black Captain America or Falcon 2.0 who just calls himself Captain America ?

You can also call me an anti feminist ( which is an double entendre because feminists are normally against women ) but I also never said I´m against the ideaa of a female Thor. I wrote a long post about this and guess what - there have also been several people who were Thor, a few of them female. I´m not againt A female Thor. I´m against THIS female Thor. Why ? Because again, it´s bad writing. There have been female Thor´s in the past but so far it never meant the real Thor had to give up being Thor. Because he can´t. That´s like - pardon the expression - expecting a gay person to stop being gay. Thor is not his title or his job description or some trophy that can be handed around. HE is Thor. And yes, Thor is a guy for those of us who have read a book. And before you say : " Ah, you are just against women or gays or hosexuality or those issues. " I want to remind you that in those old books Loki was portrayed as male AND female as the same time. So your gender issues are not as new as you might think.

RoVe said...

Taking things back on track - in the Power Girl Vs Fan Boy, the PG cosplayer is definitely Vegas PG ;)