Thursday, July 28, 2016

Happy showgirl birthday Elizabeth Berkley

Today one of the hottest screen sirens, showgirl Elizabeth Berkley who reached cult status for baring everything in SHOWGIRLS celebrates her 44th birthday so I thought it´s about time I gave Elizabeth her own post.

So far she was part of a birthday post on Tiffani Amber Thiessen where as baffling as it may seem I actually wrote about Tori Spelling - okay, mostly about her sexy dance in a leather hooker outfit on Beverly Hills 90210.

If you can call her wild fertility inducing movements dancing. She really was just shaking her big boobs in the general direction of the camera. But that she did very effectively. I never was a big Tori Spelling fan but in that scene she really squeezed her breast into a tight leather top and just pushed them straight in your face. Now that´s what I call entertainment.

What I find a bit strange is how did such a scene get approved when her father was producing this ? Should I be concerned that Daddy dearest put it in the script or does this say more about his employees. Maybe some disgruntled writers just decided to put his boss´ daughter into a hooker outfit and let her dance for him as payback for sleeping with his wife.

" Okay, Tori, do you think you can move more like a prostitute ? And we need to make the outfit sluttier. This is supposed to be a rock video. " 

I started watching Beverly Hills 90210 on the basis of Tori´s constantly growing boobs which was a product of her Dad´s financed surgery and blow up sex doll Tiffani Amber Theissen´s exploding chest which was a product of nature. The buxom brunette of your wet pervy dreams has been scorching up the tv screens worldwide with her curvaceous body and her ├╝berdeveloped 37DD Beverly Hills and it helped a lot that Tiffani was often in bikinis or leather hooker outfits much to the delight of horny prepubescent boys and the rest of the male population on the planet.

Those directors got it made, they just go " Okay guys, in the next four episodes Tiffani dresses up as a prostitute. And she has to do at least one striptease and two nude sex scenes in each episode. Which is really necessary for her character. Oh yeah, and send her to my trailer for .... extreme rehearsal. We have to go over the scene ... orally. " Those horny perverts are to thank for that Tiffany was so often in bikinis on that show.

Coming back to Elizabeth Berkley I wanted to do another of those posts I can either link to or re - post every year which really makes things much easier for me. Because aside from the post about Tiffani Amber Thiessen and Tori Spelling she was also one of my alternatives in my CASTING A JUSTICE LEAGUE MOVIE series as the evil nymphomanic twin of Supergirl.

She could be Kara Fok - Me, the Nympho Supergirl from Earth XXX. She could have a different origin in which her rocket was bombarded by the radiation of pink kryptonite which turns all female kryptonians into super horny blow up sex dolls. Because of the month long exposure to the pink kryptonite the effects would be permanent ( instead of only temporary like usual ) and Nympho Supergirl would have different powers like sex strength, peep vision, erection vision, perv hearing, orgasmic flight, ovaric speed, tantra healing, kama sutra flexibility, olympic stamina, multiple position memory, fellatio breath and deepthroat breath. I would say she also has the power to make all men horny as soon as they look at her but with Miss Berkeley´s super sexy stripper moves that´s a given.

Besides her part of Nomi Malone on SHOWGIRLS Elizabeth Berkley is also famous as Jessie Spano on SAVED BY THE BELL and she was the student body every red blooded male wanted to tap. Sadly I didn´t watch many episodes of the show even if both she and her co - star Tiffani Thiessen developed into supersexy bombshells. I remember my younger brother always watched it - they did marathons on Saturday mornings during the summer vacations in Spain - but I think I was always too busy with important stuff like reading comics or drawing superheroes or such.

Speaking about marathons with such a pair of incredibly hot sexbombs on the show it´s no wonder their male colleagues mimiked the relationships on the show by relentlessly banging their brains out behind the scenes.

Word is Tiffani was at times tagteamed by actors and even the producer and Elizabeth was especially needy about becoming her substitute in those marathon sex sessions where she was used like a blow up sex doll by all male actors. Like she had a lot of catching up to do, maybe because she played such a good girl on the show she needed them to relentlessly drill that part of her into submission to let the inner nymphomaniac free.

In any case it´s a big part of pop culture I never had access to so I don´t have fond memories of Elizabeth Berkley and Tiffani Thiessen from that.

Man, who could have known they would turn into such ultimate sexbombs ? Boy, getting them at the same time, now that would be a hot sandwich !

Especially Elizabeth Berkley who showed some very impressive skills in SHOWGIRLS. She not only can lick the chrome off your steelhard pole she also has the all important " pumping pelvic thrust " move down to pat. I bet that comes in handy with that portable casting couch she allegedly has and I would not mind being at the receiving end of that a few hours. 

Although widely labeled a " flop " the movie more than made its money back on video and DVD sales. I mean who is going to see a movie in the cinema where you want to rewind or see some scenes in slow motion ?

Besides Elizabeth the movie also features Rena Riffel who was also in such erotic classics like STRIPTEASE ( number two on my strip Top Ten ),

BOUND CARGO, DARK CONFESSIONS or the fantastic UNDERCOVER HEAT starring sexbomb extraordinaire Athena Massey as a sex starved cop.

Even if the story is nothing new - a female cop has to go undercover as a callgirl to find a serial killer - UNDERCOVER HEAT is one of the best erotic movies I have seen because it has the perfect blend of crime, suspense, erotic and humor that few directors of this genre achieve. It also has a nice pacing of 5 minutes of story followed by 5 minutes of erotic scenes and so on. But the biggest reason why this movie is so entertaining is the stunning Athena Massey and her spectacular body. The character she plays is a somewhat repressed woman who never had much time besides her police work to explore her sexuality but as she goes undercover she makes up for that in spades. The plan going in is that her superior will send her clients so she can keep her cover and give him regular status reports. But as they sometimes come too late the sex depraved bombshell is already busy sexperimenting with the potent studs. There is even a threesome with a client and his big breasted wife so this movie has it all. 

So this is my recommendation for the day and if you haven´t seen it yet you need to check out UNDERCOVER HEAT. But coming back to Elizabeth Berkley even as SHOWGIRLS was considered a really bad movie by critics ( yeah, and we all know how much they know about movies ) when it came out it was still shown constantly on television the following years and landed on the top ten list of best movie striptease which made it one of the top guilty pleasures of movie fans. Due to a fan following that has only grown wider with the years it has even reached trash cult status.

I really have to thank Paul Verhoeven for discovering Elizabeth Berkley´s dormant stripper qualities. We always knew she was absolutely hot but who could imagine what a natural born pornstar she would turn out to be ?

Since there are no other celebrity birthdays Today worth mentioning I get to pick all the videos for this post so I decided to include a few that did not fit into previous posts like this one of sexsational Rosie Perez on The Late Show with David Letterman where she almost pops out of her dress.

Daimn, Rosie is one of the hottest MILFs in showbiz ( and the " M " stands for " mexican " here ) and her breasts literally get bigger each year. I mean this appearance was in 2005 and when you look at her now she´s making actresses curse and pornstars envious with her giant 37E ( !!! ) melons.

But I´m not the only one who is fascinated by Rosie´s rapidly rising rotund rack as they were even immortalized in a song by Kanye West much to the chagrin of Rosie : " I'm a woman of a certain age, if you're gonna mention me in a song, have a little respect. He mentions my breasts. When you walk down the street and you have 15 - year - old boys ... they're like, ' Yo, Rosie, D's D's, Rosie Perez,' it's no good." I´m not sure what being a woman of a " certain age " has to do with it, because strangers singing about the size of your breasts would have you uncomfortable at any age. 

My next video also is a call back to an earlier post because when blonde bombshell Berta Collado celebrated her birthday at the beginning of this month I didn´t have a video but you find all the good stuff afterwards. In the video Berta is doing one of her famous impressions, this time of Sanziana Buruiana, founder of the political party The Beautiful People.

The 23 year old playmate has some brilliant ideas about how to improve the tourism industry in her native country of Romania like only hiring hot sexbombs as tourist guides and make tiny bikinis their official uniform.

While I can certainly get behind the idea I´m not so sure about her other proposals like having overweight citizens pay extra taxes - 10 Euros for every kilo. She would fine adulterers with 100 Euros, which would be a big economy boost if all the tourist guides really were hot bikini sexbombs not to mention the skyrocketing demand for no - tell motel rooms. One last thing, people who tell jokes about blondes would be thrown in jail.  

Somebody who could easily be one of these new bikini tourist guides is Kate Owen and I´ll gladly take this dance number as her audition tape.

And we´re staying on the subject of hot dance numbers with South Korean girl group Ace of Angels or AOA. When I first watched the Case Closed anime I found it a bit creepy that a grown man like Kogoro Mouri was still such a raving fan of teenage pop idol Yoko Okino but after seeing a few live performances by different j - pop and k - pop groups I must say their stage shows are really sexually charged. The girls wear the tiniest, tightest outfits and the suggestive and provocative moves do the rest.

Since I found the animated GIFs first it was quite difficult to find out the names of the bands and from which live performances they were made but after going through several videos I think I found the best ones.

Speaking about anime shows here is the Top 5 Adult Anime list and like in previous posts adult in this case means not porn but nudity and violence. These are more sophisticated shows for the discerning anime viewer.

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

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