Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Retro repost : cult siren Erika Eleniak

Today busty Baywatch beach body par excellence Erika Eleniak celebrates her 47th birthday so I thought it´s high time to re - post her. She has been in a lot of movies but she´s probably most famous for her sexy striptease in UNDER SIEGE which is what this post will be focusing on.

Which is also one of the reasons why I didn´t do a post about her sooner. Now longtime readers will already know that her striptease is on my Top Ten list of movie stripteases. I know, maybe it´s not on the official Top Ten or your personal Top Ten but it sure as hell is on mine. And one of my goals has been to do at least one post about all the entries on my list.

I also already had written a post about this on my old boob blog that´s probably still out there. Now you might ask yourself where the problem lies. Well, the thing is that I try to keep the post safe for work and most the pictures I had of Erika Eleniak were full frontal nudity or at least with a lot of exposed breast. Not that I have a problem with that. But like I said, I tried to keep the post safe for work and how should I do a post about a particular scene when I can´t post any pictures ? I know that it is totally doable since there are also other pictures from the movie but for me this would feel too much of a tease. I always hated it when writers put scenes in comics that involved nudity well knowing that the artist were never allowed to draw them and had to come up with a way to make it work. Which always never works. Because comics are a visual medium and if you fail to bring a visual gag over in a visual medium you have definitely failed. Whenever I read such a scene I was seriously ticked off.

So you might ask why I´m doing this post. Well, to tell the truth I have blogger and myself to thank for this. Since I figured out how to make screenshots I´m not depending on other people´s screenshots and I can do my own which are not that risky. Okay, some of them may be and I´ll probably include one shot of Erika Eleniak in all her stripper glory but only for scientific reasons, I promise. I also have already posted some pictures without having any reader complaints so I´m keeping my fingers crossed.

The other reason for doing such a post and hoping to keep it safe for work is that blogger now allows to post animated GIFs. So far the posting of GIFs was possible but you ran into trouble because blogger didn´t show it right. But now that´s possible so instead of filling this post with dozens of risky screenshots I can just post one GIF of her striptease and if readers have a problem with that they can just quickly scroll over it.

With all this in mind you might ask why I still feel the need to do this post. Well, this blog is also about giving tribute to all the neglected or forgotten cult sirens out there who bare it all ( so to speak ) to turn unbearable dreck into fun trash and who never get top billing or awards.

They never get credit or the big bucks but nevertheless they work hard and are prepared to show it all - unlike some actresses who are extremely hot but who will never get naked on screen - just so we can get a little something from awful movies that otherwise would be a waste of time.

And it´s not like I haven´t posted about hot sexbombs before. I did two entire posts about Baywatch colleague Traci Bingham ( a.k.a. Traci Banghim ) one of which included a lot of animated GIFs from Janet Jackson´s hottest wardrobe malfunction on Jay Leno´s Tonight Show ,

more than one post about cult sirens Markie Post and Heather Thomas , at least two about Jamie Lee Curtis sexy striptease on TRUE LIES ( one just for all the screenshots, this was before I could post animated GIFs ), also two on Salma Hayek with one mentioning her striptease on FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, one on Janet Jones and Leslie Easterbrook´s wet t - shirt on POLICE ACADEMY , one on fitness sexbomb Kiana Tom´s exposed bra on UNIVERSAL SOLDIER - THE RETURN, more than three about Wonder Woman Lynda Carter as well as italian soccer MILF extraordinaire Simona Ventura, Mistress of the Dark Elvira, Russ Meyer cult actress Tura Satana and I wrote about dozens of others including Joyce Hyser from the almost forgotten screwball comedy JUST ONE OF THE GUYS where I just had to include some full frontal. Anyway, the list is far too long to post here but you get an idea this kind of post is not unprecedented on this blog.

I just hope I don´t loose too many readers because of this. Although with the numbers of daily hits I have been getting lately I´m not sure if it could really do any harm. Things sure have gotten strange on this blog. I don´t know if it´s a matter of the topics I write about but lately things have gone from around 100 to 150 comments a day to five a week. Okay, most of them were just spam anyway and it´s kind of nice not having to spend hours every day deleting them but now I have almost no feedback. And the daily hits have dropped from almost 3.000 a day - sometimes even going over that - to barely above 750. I don´t know why that is but in the meantime I will soldier on. I promise. And if you have some time drop me a comment even if it´s only to show me that it still works.

Today´s only comic book related thing is that I cast Erika Eleniak for the role Hawkgirl in my Justice League movie, a topic that I hope to further elaborate on one of these days. If readers want to see that happening.

Anyway, that enough public announcement stuff so after a rather long winded intro let´s hear it for celebrity birthday babe Erika Eleniak :

Originally posted on Wednesday, March 25th, 2009

Retro babe of the week : Erika Eleniak strips on Under Siege

Time for a dive into the vault for some awsome striptease goodness courtesy of the ever so popular RETRO BABE OF THE WEEK series. Today´s contestant is playmate and Baywatch babe Erika Eleniak whose claim to blow up sex doll fame is her incredibly hot striptease on UNDER SIEGE .

Erika started on Baywatch where in one of the first episodes she got into trouble because of some raunchy pictures of her that were published.

Which at that time didn´t make much sense because her breasts were rather average and only grew to the enormous size she has been known for ever since in later episodes of one of the most successful series on the planet. I bet David Hasselhoff wished he had known this before.

So Erika Eleniak became the " queen of the mountain " on Baywatch with the biggest boobs around ...... until Pamela Anderson came around.

Like Pamela Anderson she also appeared in Playboy and was the playmate of July 1989 although I´m not sure if the pictures where she wore part of a uniform much like the one she wears in her famous striptease got her the role on Under Siege. Anyway, Erika was only the first of a decades spanning tradition of Baywatch babes who got photographed by Playboy like Vanessa Angel, Krista Allen, playmate / Penthouse pet / pornstar Teri Weigel, Jenny Mc Carthy, Jasmine Bleeth, Donna D´Erico, Kelly Monaco, Brande Roderick, Nicole Eggert , Mitzi Capture and Gina Lee Nolin among others. Most of them have been in Playboy and other men´s magazines.

Back to Erika Eleniak, she appeared in a few movies like BEVERLY HILL BILLIES, CHASERS and BORDELLO OF BLOOD ( which got censored beyond recognition in Germany ) but she never achieved the level of success Pamela Anderson did. Not even Traci Bingham achieved it and she´s build like a porn star - in fact none of the other cast members of Baywatch did.

Carmen Electra is the only one who was anywhere near the success level of Pam and she also was in Playboy numerous times. A coincidence ? 

Erika Eleniak had some pretty hot scenes in CHASERS but my favorite movie with her is UNDER SIEGE. Which by the way is called ALARMSTUFE ROT ( Condition Red ) in Germany. That´s what you get when you use german words that make no sense in german - they have to come up with a different name. And that was one of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to find stuff about her until I figured out the original title.

Under Siege is one of the better Steven Seagal movies which means that his acting is not as bad as in other movies and it also has big stars like Tommy Lee Jones, Gary Busey and Nick Mancuso. The plot is simple but even though he only beats up smaller guys ( Did you notice that in most movies Steven Seagal only fights people who are smaller than him ? It makes it hard to take him serious. ) it´s a pretty decent action movie.

But the reason why I really like the film is of course Erika Eleniak and her sexy striptease after she comes out of a cake. She really shows some talent there which makes the fact that she never continued in that direction just more tragic. Ahh, the career she could have had stripping.

You can say what you want about Steven Seagal but he sure does have an eye for talent because it has been said that he included Erika Eleniak.

And if that rumor is true he has earned my eternal gratitude for giving the entire world one of the best striptease ever. And her manager who persuaded to take this part and use her stripper skills to the benefit of mankind. I bet he got something out of the deal as well. I know that if it had been me there would have been a few private sessions of rehearsing.

Of course the fabulous strptease is not the only scene where Erika struts her stuff because not only does she have wonderful breasts - she also has a tight derriere. There is also the scene in which she arrives on the ship where she steps out of the helicopter and has something on her shoe.

Erika leans forward to get it off,showing some good cleavage while all the horny sailors stand around drooling, hoping to get an eyeful. I guess they didn´t have to give the male actors much directions on this one.

She than walks past the viewer and the camera zooms in on her incredibly sculpted round and firm butt checks moving and shaking. Holy makarel !!!

Wow ! That has got to be one of the best butts in movies of all times together with sexbomb Kelly Overton working her butt crack in TEKKEN

and - of course - the spectacular Halle Berry in THE LAST BOY SCOUT .

And here´s Erika with her sexy striptease thanks to Steven Seagal who had the balls to include her in the script. I hope he at least got some.

Even if not I bet the strip was one of the scenes they had to do the most takes of. Steven probably had to relieve himself afterwards - if he didn´t get honey Erika to join him. In any case, it is Steven Seagal´s best movie and the one most liked by movie goers so in the end it was for the best.

So many happy returns Erika and thanks for the mammaries !

Today´s post has been all about a tv cult siren and playmate that I wanted to do a post about for a very long time so I thought it´s only fair that the first video is also about a telenovela icon and playmate : Aylin Mujica.

I don´t have time to go into all the details here but the 40 year old starred in MARINA ( a telenovela that helped me a great deal ) and another with possibly the best title ever SIN TETAS NO HAY PARADISO ( without tits there is no paradise ). Now you may think that I´m crazy writing about 40 year old tv stars but 40 is the new 24 and Aylin just did a photoshoot for the mexican Playboy where she showed : she still got it.

But since I know there are a lot of non believers out there here is a video.

Since this post was about stripteases our second clip is from BAILANDO PARA UN SUENO ( Dancing for a Dream ) which is the version of Dancing with the Stars from Argentina. Only the female contestants have bigger breasts, wear less clothing and instead of dancing they are stripping.

Last year I posted a striptease by ├╝bersexbomb Virginia Gallardo so this year it´s Belen Francese´s turn. The quality of the video is not as good but once again it goes to the limit of what you can show on television. 

A totally different show is TU CARA ME SUENA from spanish television which could be roughly translated as YOUR FACE LOOKS FAMILIAR although the spanish term " me suena " means something like making sounds or music if you take it literally. So it has kind of a double meaning since people - mostly celebrities - dress up and perform as famous singers.

Because it´s a spanish tv program and not a german one it´s an original idea and most of the performances are quite good. There is one who does an Adele performance almost better than the real thing but Today´s clip is Anna Simon with Kylie Minogue´s I CAN`T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD.

Anna Simon is another tv cult icon I wanted to do a post about for a long time but as always I haven´t gotten around to - not yet. As with Aylin Mujica I can´t explain everything about her but she´s a tv institution in Spain. I tried to find a particular clip on YouTube but since I could not find it here´s an animated GIF from one of her best shows. Ay oma, que rico !

But don´t fear here is a clip from the cult show TONTERIAS LAS JUSTAS where Anna appeared in a tight pink top to celebrate the 100th episode.

A stereotype many latin women have to deal with is that most foreigners think all latinas have black hair. Just ask Sofia Vergara. Anna is a natural blonde but in one episode of OTRA MOVIDA - another comedy / news / gossip show - she wore a black wig and she looked so stunning that her male co hosts kept hitting on her for the length of the entire episode.

At the moment Anna is one of the hosts of ZAPEANDO together with Cristina Pedroche and Ana Morgade which is the trifecta of hot tv babes.

Or at least one of the trifectas since there are so many hot sexbombs on spanish tv. I really have to do a post about this one day. Anyway, I only find short clips on the internet but this one is almost 15 minutes long.

If you ask me how best to describe Ana Morgade then I would say she´s like the spanish version of Tina Fey only with a DD breast size - at least.

She has a rapier wit, a great sense of humor and a body like a centerfold which is the reason why I included this last video. The cleavage on the shirt is not very deep but hold out till the end of the video where she moves a lot and you can see that there´s a lot jumping under her shirt .

Last year I put a whole bunch of Ana Morgade videos here so there´s no need for me to add more. Instead I´m posting three videos with massita Ximena Cordoba who´s possibly the hottest weather girl on the planet. In the first video Ana Morgade does the flamenco version of the weather forecast and in the final one she plays water war with Frank Blanco.

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

Como a cualquier mujer latina, por alguna razon, a algun lugar se nos tiene que ir la grasa que comemos, Yo soy una mujer muy comelona, a mi me encantan los tacos, y mi cuerpo naturalmente, accumula toda la grasita que me como en mi trasero, asi que es normal que tengo un culo espectacular.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Jasmine, Yaya and Akira - not the manga

It´s time to put the kids to sleep and make sure the girlfriend or wife is busy watching some estrogen heavy sitcom because here´s another part of my SUBZERO edition of casting the Justice League of America movie.

Today´s first candidate is for the Black Canary but since I have already covered her secret origin at length in this post her part is rather short.

Which is a blessing because the part with Akira Lane ( and the video section ) which was originally part of an all asian post is rather long. But I think my decision to put women with different looks in the posts was the right one so let´s get right on without the usual comic related intro :

Krista Santoro as Black Canary ( Dinah Lance )

Krista Santoro a.k.a. Carmen Rossi is a canadian fitness / adult model ( our second canadian is Jenny Poussin ) and she was born on November the 29th in 1985. Her measurements are 36DD ( 34E cupsize ) - 24 - 36.

This is a no - brainer. Krista is hot, she´s blonde and the first thing I thought when I saw the pictures of her in fishnets was : Black Canary.

No, really. She looks perfect for the role of kick - ass martial arts specialist Dinah Lance who even became the JLA chairwoman for a time.

What a great ass in the shot and it even looks like she´s screaming.

And you know that Black Canary is a screamer and not a moaner. I guess that´s what Ollie really means when talking about her " canary cry ".

Black Canary has always been the designated " whack - off material " for the male readers, why else have her dress look like a hooker outfit ?

I mean the new costume doesn´t have the complete prostitute look that her Silver Age dress had but they kept the leather jacket and fishnets.

In Germany she was even translated as BLITZSCHWALBE which sounds almost like BORDSTEINSCHWALBE which is german slang for a hooker.  

I looked for more info about her but there´s not much on the internet and most websites are repeating the same stuff or not safe to post. The only one I can link is the CARMEN ROSSI WIKI which has some useful data.

Kari Wuhrer as Gypsy ( Cynthia Reynolds )  

I wanted to include another of my favorite sci fi sexbombs in the Justice League cast after Jeri Ryan and Jolene Blalock in the Hollywood edition.

Kari was put on the cast of SLIDERS as the boner guarantee for the male audience and they got more than their money´s worth in the Wild West episode where she´s almost spilling out of her snug saloon girl corsage.

Kari could also use her musical talent in the role - Kari had started singing in nightclubs as a teenager and signed a record deal with Rick Rubin who released her debut album Shiny in 1999. Kari wrote most of the songs on the album herself and played the guitar and the flute on several tracks.

As for her sexy stripper moves I´m not sure if she had any formal dance training. Maybe she´s just a natural. Anyway, Kari got some mad skills.

She also was in HOT BLOODED, a really bad movie that doesn`t even have full frontal nudity. Nevertheless it´s one of my favorite movies with Kari because she looks really hot in this one. You get to see a lot of cleavage and boobs and in the first sex scene on the bed you can see her sexy ass.

And because one scene where she´s at a gas station and pulls down her leather top to make the desk clerck horny. She´s really pulling it in all directions so you get to see her full boobs. I have no evidence but I swear I can see some nipple. I bet Kari had to do this scene a hundred times as the crew was sabotaging all takes just to see her boobs again and again.

" Sorry, Kari. The sound was off. And could you push your boobs together a bit more when you pull down your top ? No, you almost don´t see it. "

In any case, I had this scene on a video tape on a loop and I must have heard the words " This material just doesn´t breathe ! " a hundred times.

Like I said there is no full frontal nudity in this cineastic masterpiece but you get a bit of sideboob in a scene that was heavily cut on german tv.

They cut parts from when she´s using a whip to get into the mood and pours hot wax on his body. They also cut some parts from where she´s on top of him which I didn´t know until I found the movie on the internet.

Damn you, german tv for keeping Kari Wuhrer´s sideboob away from me !

Coming back to the Justice League movie casting she already played a sexy gypsy in the Stephen King movie THINNER so who am I to argue ?

Another bonus is that Kari has already gone full frontal in previous movies so nude scenes or scenes where she wears a bikini should be no problem.

So far I haven´t done a solo post on Kari Wuhrer - although I mentioned the Wild West episode of SLIDERS before - and as far as Gypsy goes you can look for previous posts of the Justice League casting for my thoughts on her. She will be mentioned in the upcoming DEATH IN COMICS - THE DEATH OF MISTER MIRACLE post and in any posts about the Detroit League. IF I ever manage to get my hands on some of those issues.

Akira Lane as Dr. Light ( Kimiyo Hoshi )

The female version of Doctor Light was introduced in the classic CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS and she never got much screen time in the JLA.

There´s also not much to add about this character since the Hollywood edition, she was included so I could cast ultrahot asians like Akira Lane.

With so many asian sexbombs to choose from I went with flexible Akira Lane because she got an ass that won´t quit. This girl is better than viagra and if it´s not over after five hours please consult your Doctor !

Akira Lane is an extraordinarily beautiful young lady born to a Hawaiian father and Japanese mother who  grew up in Japan, attending American schools on the islands of Okinawa, before moving to the United States at the age of eighteen where she became the lead cheerleader at her school.

First settling in Norfolk, Virginia, where she attended Old Dominion University, Miss Lane ( a stage name she adopted in 2002 ) moved west to San Diego after spending spring break there and falling in love with the West Coast climate. She attended San Diego State University for two years, earning a B.A. in International Business, and went to work " selling financial plans to cheesy automobile dealerships and repossessing cars ".

Tiring of this line of work, she moved again, this time to Orange County, where she went to work in the hi - tech computer industry. Interestingly enough, her career began later in 2000 when - on a dare and slightly intoxicated by Tequila - she posed for a male friend who posted the pics to an online forum. Thank you mysterious guy we all are indebted to you..

Since then, she began modeling, eventually springing into the spotlight with the 2002 issues of the adult magazines Playboy ( June ) and Sexual Prime ( December ). Things snowballed from there, and today she not only has her own website, she also has appeared in numerous magazines, several films, and makes appearances all over the country to meet her growing legion of devoted fans. She even does personalized photo shoots.

Miss Lane would like to one day settle down, marry and have a family, though her career has priority until that happens. Despite her growing fame and popularity, she remains one of the sweetest and most accessible models in the industry today, and always takes time to personally answer her fan mail. Her passions in life are " music, love and, of course, MEN ! "

Trivia : Television work includes roles in such Playboy shows as Hip Hop Honeys, Naughty Amateur, 7 Lives Xposed, Weekend Flash, Sexy Urban Legend and Coed Carwash as well as appearances on 5th Wheel and the Canadian show Ed the Sock Show. Miss Lane has been featured in the 2003 Women of the East calendar for the month of March, the 2003 Erebuni calendar, and the July 2002 edition of Playboy magazine. Was named Miss Web Model for 2001, and won the Glamour Elite Site Award for 2001 and was the second runner - up as Model of the Year for 2002.

Hobbies include photography, gourmet cooking, rollerblading, kickboxing, karakoke, body surfing and aerobics. She also enjoys dancing ( Hip Hop, Salsa, Japanese Folklore and Hula ), sports ( especially golf ) and playing music ( piano & flute ). Okay, to get this straight : she´s a megahot asian model with a body that makes pornstars envious who cooks, does Hula Dance AND she´s an expert at blowing the flute ? This girl is too much.

So there are a lot of good reasons why Akira Lane gets the role of Dr. Light in this edition but I guess Today I´d probably just cast Yaya  Han.

Man, there´s just gotta be a way how I can have them both in the cast. I´d even bend the rules a bit and have Yaya as the Outsiders´ Katana.

We begin Today´s video section with another hot asian sexbomb I would have liked to include in my Justice League movie casting : Jasmine Mai. You may remember that the picture below was part of the NOT MY BIG YAYA HAN SPOTLIGHT POST - YET post which intrigued a few readers.

I always try to post something that ties in to the topic but I couldn´t find any of Today´s candidates Krista Santoro, Kari Wuhrer or Akira Lane - at least not any in good quality. As I said, the part with Akira Lane was part of an all asian post which I scrapped because after making various theme oriented posts I would have ended up with at least two all blondes posts.

So I put my asian Justice Leaguers into different posts to keep things a bit more balanced and not so boring. Also with my fixation on talented oral orientals I have to be careful these posts turn into porn - which is one of the reasons I still have not been able to finish The Big Yaya Han Post.

Okay, enough exposition, all efforts to find any good videos of the other candidates failed so I put the videos from that original post here since I already had more than enough videos on the other posts where I put the asian babes. The video section may be a bit hasian heavy but it can´t be helped. And I´m not complaining - I get to put these videos in a post. 

Our first videos are from import model Jasmine Mai at the EXXXOTICA NEW YORK in 2008. I wished it was in one part ( I´m counting this as one video ) but I´m just glad there is anything good with her on YouTube.

Our next video does at least take place somewhere comic related so maybe you have met Jasmine Mai at the 2009 NEW YORK COMIC CON.

I also wanted to include some videos of Jasmine Mai in action ( get your mind out of the gutter ) so here is one from a photoshoot in a blue bikini.

And finally, the piece de resistance, Jasmine in her white cowgirl outfit. It may be just my fetish for almond eyes speaking but she freaking hot.

I put a lot of Yaya Han on the post so I feel obligated to include some vids with her especially since I have no idea when her solo post will go up.

These are videos I may have posted before but they are my two favorite videos with Yaya Han in her Chun Li costume. They are both high quality so you can watch them in full screen mode which I recommend since you may risk missing the best parts - Yaya Han´s " twitching " - otherwise.

New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best

But, if the Gargoyle has a victim - and keeps touching him - for a long time - who knows what might happen ?