TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: December 2025

So instead of starting with the videos for this years Mark Texeira GHOST RIDER birthday post I have decided to go over my material for Bart Sears - who as longtime followers of the blog know only all too well - who also celebrated his birthday Yesterday. And as my default setting for Mark Texeira is GHOST RIDER likewise my default setting for Bart Sears is of course Power Girl and by extension his run on JUSTICE LEAGUE EUROPE .

Now while I had enough material for a solo JUSTICE LEAGUE EUROPE tribute last year this year I have to include some material from other series Bart Sears has worked on. But don't worry, we are staying in the DC universe with some original pages from BATMAN - LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT ( one of the best and therefore also one of the most underrated Bat - titles ) and INVASION which is one of the big forgotten DC Comics crossovers where Bart Sears had one of his very first big gigs.

do the bart sears man

bart stuff

bart links

bart videos

keith giffen

bart sears drawing

five breast weather girls

nora sahinpasic returns

the og weather girls

stan lees dc universe

armageddon 2001

breast music reactions

joss whedon justice league

justice league fan film

syfy channel christmas movies

christmas with the duke boys

dukes of hazzard

Man, it all comes back to the Power Girls. Speaking of which, one of the hottest babes on tv was brunette man milking machine Catherine Bach .

So I went back to my old posts to do some of the old flim flam copy / paste magic where I reuse some of the stuff I have written previously and add some new stuff. I know, it´s kind of cheap but I don´t always have the time to write something completely new. And it makes it easier to include links to older posts for new readers. In any case I could not do it here because it seems that so far I have only mentioned her when one of the other cast members of The Dukes Of Hazzard had an anniversary or on Barbara Bach´s birthday as a lot of people get those two mixed up.

Barbara´s most famous scene is from Up The Academy, in fact her part in it is probably the only reason the movie is still shown on tv. I didn´t say that she´s best known for it because it seems people were again not looking at Barbara´s face because it is often credited to Kelly McGillis.

caveman barbara bach ringo star

yellow submarine animated movie and comic

beatles cartoon

the rutles german eric idle beatles parody

Catherine Bach deserves a long cult siren post of her own and in fact I did a special Valentine´s Day post for her over on my old boob blog but as usual I never got around to transfer it here. I will do an abbreviated version because the post also covered all the other actresses who played Daisy Duke on tv or in movies as well as Catherine Bach´s appearance in Cannonball Run II which as longtime readers know is one of my guilty pleasures. But we don´t have the time nor the space for all that Today.

As most people on the planet know Catherine Bach is best remembered as southern 40C - 22 - 35 sexsation Daisy Duke, the brunette brabuster with legs for miles almost up to her chin, two perfect puppies that are grade a centerfold material and an ass that won't quit on the show The Dukes Of Hazzard or as it´s known in Germany One Duke Seldom Comes Alone ( Ein Duke kommt selten allein ). The show was on german tv when I was very young but the only time when I saw it on a regular basis was many years ago when I came back home to Spain and there was nothing else good on tv at that time. So I saw a lot of The Dukes Of Hazzard as well as Sweet Valley High and Wonder Woman with busty Lynda Carter.

Talk about all babe tv. By the way, the perks of seeing Wonder Woman in Spain - or in the original version - is that only the Nazis speak german.

When you see it in Germany everybody you see is speaking german.

Now a lot of my visitors have probably never heard of Sweet Valley High but for me it will always be the show that helped me survive one of my worst summers. Back when I still lived the good carefree life in Germany ( although I didn't know it at the time ) we - naturally - spent the long summer holidays in Spain and blog followers from the first hour might remember me mentioning in my posts that we were in a really remote spot far away from anything that could closely be called civilization.

So I always made sure to stock up on books, comics, movies, music and any other kind of entertainment because you have to keep in mind this was long before everything was readily available thanks to the internet and streaming platforms. Now I don't remember if that was the summer where I went to Spain in hopes of finding a job here while my mother had the secret agenda to get me to cold turkey comics but somehow I had already read everything I had brought with me and watched every movie and there also was not much on tv so I was starving for any kind of entertainment that included hot women. Unfortunately my parents had the sole power over the remote control and the only time to wrestle it away from them was when they were making dinner. Which means that I was stuck with prime time tv which back in those days was not known for including a lot of scantily clad women. You have to remember that this was before 24h nonstop television and naked chicks going at it on HBO.

But as fate would have it I discovered Sweet Valley High, which would have been your average teen show if not for the fact that it had two incredibly incredible sexbombs with tight hardbodies that make men go crazy as the main protagonists who were twins to top it off. Brittany Daniel played sexy Jessica Wakefield while her real twin sister Cynthia Daniel - whom you might know from her role in The Basketball Diaries with Leonardo DiCaprio - played Elizabeth Wakefield. The show really helped me through some rough and hard ( and getting harder by the minute ) times and on some days a scene with Brittany or Cynthia Daniel in a hot outfit - or even better a bikini - was the highlight of that day.

Since animated GIFs go only so far and can't come even close to the real thing here is the full scene with Brittany Daniel. At least I think it is her because that's the name on the video but seeing as they are identical twins it could also be Cynthia Daniel. By the way, like always I tried to verify their measurements - just so I don't write anything wrong I could find Brittany's measurements which are listed as 40B - 24 - 35 but I could find nothing about Cynthia. Maybe people just assume that because they are twins they have the same measurements. Which I am not quite sure if that's how it works. Although I gladly would offer myself to make the sacrifice of finding out through an extensive wet t - shirt measuring with a hard - pounding menage a trois deepthroat session with both of them.

Anyway, here is the full episode from which the scenes with Brittany in a bikini were taken and you can watch all 4 seasons of Sweet Valley High on this very YouTube channel even if the picture quality is not the best.

So the only thing I knew when I wrote my first post on Catherine Bach was John Schneider, who plays Bauregard " Bo " Duke and Superman´s adoptive father Johnathan Kent on Smallville has a german background.

And there was an episode where Tom Wopat - who played Luke Duke - visited Jonathan Kent on Smallville where he played an old friend.

What I learned through my research is that Catherine Bach´s real name is Catherine Bachmann ( it´s probably Katharina Bachmann ) and that her father is german and her mother mexican. Which may explain her drop dead gorgeous looks. There were a lot of germans on that show.

Another thing I didn´t know about Catherine Bach is that she also was a fashion trendsetter. You probably know all this but for someone who did not grow up in America it was a big surprise to learn that the name for the cut - off shorts Catherine is wearing on the show is Daisy Dukes. That is right, they were named after the hot woman that made them famous.

And to think that they were originally planning to get a girl that looked like natural 44E - 20 - 36 viagra substitute Dolly Parton ( not that there would have been anything wrong with putting a Busenwunder like Dolly on the show ) and that Catherine almost turned down her shot at the role because her former talent agency told her she was too " exotic " looking to have a future in television. But thankfully she got a call from screenwriter Bob Clark who convinced her to try out for the Daisy role.

Two weeks after her audition Catherine Bach was on a plane to Georgia to make her debut as Daisy Duke. Since the higher ups were looking for a different kind of girl to play the role Catherine Bach was snuck into the audition by Gy Waldron - the creator of The Dukes Of Hazzard - on a day when the producers and business people were out so she got the part before anybody could say no. Of course once Warner Brothers found out they tried to recast the role with a different actress even after the show had already started airing but once the show - and especially Catherine Bach - proved popular with the audience the studio had to back down.

Now Catherine's Daisy Duke outfit is on display at the Smithsonian even though she wasn´t sure she could wear her shorts on the show. And I´m saying " her shorts " because she made many of the costumes she wore by hand particularly those seen in early episodes, including tops, the tight fitting red bikini seen during episode one, One - Armed Bandits, that was immortalized in the opening credits and her famous trademark Daisy Duke cut - offs that launched a fashion craze in the early 80s. As it couldn't be any other way the studio wasn't too happy about those either and to satisfy the tv censor board Catherine Bach had to wear pantyhose underneath them to ensure she didn't accidentally expose more than her legs. But instead of detracting attention the hose highlighted her legs and drew even more attention so you can thank tv censorship for that.

Catherine shot to sex symbol status as Daisy Dukes, insuring her legs for a million dollars and posing for a poster that sold five million copies.

Catherine Bach revealed that Warner Brothers wanted her to follow the same formula as Farrah Fawcett but she felt that audiences wanted an all - american country girl. When the studio refused to pay for her poster unless she did it their way Catherine Bach took charge and posed in her famous shorts and a homemade red and white top and one of Catherine Bach's friends shot the famous poster in an hour - from start to finish.

Now with such an ultimate sexbomb like Catherine whose mindblowing set of breasticles were just made to be wrapped tightly around a hard cock and massage it until it gets as hard as unto a thing or iron before spreading her legs wider than a phillipino hooker and pump it reverse cowgirl style until it shoots buckets like a fire hose milking it dry until the last drop on the set of a hit tv show with two such incredible hunks like John Schneider and Tom Wopat at the height of their sexual powers and what's more important durability there must have been unbelievable ejaculation sexation pentration marathons going on were they took turns wearing their dicks completely out on Catherine. But according to her she never had any interest to be a " kissing cousin " despite being single at the time the later part of the show aired because she just couldn't get past the fact that her two co - stars were like brothers to her in real life.

So I don't know if I completely buy the statement there never happened anything between them especially keeping in mind where The Dukes Of Hazard supposedly took place and all the things that happen between hot sisters and brothers in that part of the south and I'm also not sure if when John Schneider and Catherine Bach describe their relationship as friends but purely platonic if they are using the normal definition of the word platonic or more the Hollywood definition of platonic which is " we f - word and a lot, but we are not married, at least not to each other ".

If it was me I don't know if I could resist the temptation to slam - bang the brains out of an ultimate men milking machine Like Catherine Bach seven days to Sunday until I had completely dicktamed her to become my willing personal blow up sex doll - even if she had been my cousin.

She also thought Daisy Duke was better than the boys. In 1997 Catherine Bach told Entertainment Weekly : " Whatever Daisy did, she could shoot better, drive better, do everything better than a guy. Whenever the guys were in trouble she stepped in. She wasn't acting tough, she just was. "

jessica simpson daisy duke

jessica simpson boots

jessica simpson music videos

jessica simpson on jay leno in a f - word me dress

jesus was a carpenter too starring wings hauser

I love her giant - sized XXL double jairbags

studio alf see through

always my santa

hasian sports

loni anderson

loni anderson on easy street

Now the original tv episode I had included here has been deleted but I found something even better : a Nick@Nite broadcast with the Christmas episode of WKRP In Cincinnatti with former 38E ( !!!!! ) - 25 - 36 living blow up sex doll Loni Anderson which are almost impossible to find.

There also was another Nick@Nite broadcast with an episode from that show but sadly that one was blocked for watching it on other websites.

Addressing the elephant in the room, when I said former I didn't mean the " blow up sex doll " part but her 38E cupsize which she reduced to a mere 38C. Regular blog visitors might remember that I wrote about Loni Anderson - and her co - star in the too short tv show Partners In Crime all natural 38D ( !!! ) - 23 - 37 cult siren Lynda Carter - in my first post about Larry Hama and Marc Silvestri's run on WOLVERINE and that it got so long that I decided to cut it down to size in the WOLVERINE post but not without giving it its own spin - off where I included a lot of material from William Messner - Loebs and Mike Deodato's WONDER WOMAN run.

For me nobody in Hollywood has eclipsed Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman so far which I have elaborated at length in various posts. I wrote the first one way way back in 2011 which I split into two posts. A very short one on Lynda Carter and a longer one on the Wonder Woman tv series of which I did an updated version with a lot HQ animated GIFs in 2016.

In 2019 I did a Wonder Woman post with a lot of stuff about Lynda Carter but also some original comicbook pages and in 2020 I even managed to write two Wonder Woman posts, one about Don Heck´s tenure on the book ( which also includes Nubia or how she is more often called Black Wonder Woman ) and one about the Wonder Woman comic Rich Buckler did for Power Records. I still don´t know if this was from a pre - existing comicbook or if Rich Buckler did this exclusively for Power Records. If anybody out there knows please let me know in the comments below.

And last but not least I managed to write a post about the great late Gene Colan's run on WONDER WOMAN on the fourth of July from 2023.

Oh, I almost forgot, I finally managed to make a post about mod squad Wonder Woman - you know when Diana was stripped of all her powers, learned karate and fought crime in a white Emma Peel like catsuit - in 2024 and I did a pretty Wonder Woman centric post for JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA MONTH this year from Dick Dillin's tenure on the book this year but that post has gotten a NOT SAFE FOR WORK age restriction that I haven't been able to get rid of so I can't put up a link for that last post.

Now since I have already written so many times about Lynda Carter but only about Loni Anderson five times - none of them cult siren entries - I want to take a few moments to go through the highlights of her vitae.

BORN FOR PORN : EARLY BLOOMER LONI ANDERSON ( 37D AT AGE 14 )

The blonde bombshell was especially popular with all the boys at her school after she developed an incredible 37D bust at the tender age of 14 but her 37D - 20 - 32 measurements drove all guys in her town crazy.

Because of her giant boobs she was at first merciless teased by her female classmates but that turned into envy once Loni began to draw the unwanted attention of first all the boys and then all male teachers.

BORN FOR PORN 2 : SOMETHING BIG JUMPING UNDER YOUR SHIRT !

She had to ask to be exempted from gym class because the boys always were reaching under her shirts which were too short to contain her tits.

And when she partook in strenuous physical activities where her giant gazongas naturally were bouncing up and down like crazy the boys were distracted so much that quite a few injured themselves. Especially swim class was a disaster since Loni was sexually assaulted in the shower by the entire male part of her class after they saw her boobies in a bikini.

Thankfully the gym teacher intervened at the last second who managed to pry her away from her sex craved classmates and escort her to the teacher's shower. Were he made sure that she finished showering and since the poor girl was still under shock he soaped up every inch of her booming body himself. He also made sure that the overzealous boys hadn't stretched her out too much by giving her a test run afterwards.

BORN FOR PORN 3 : MY MILKSHAKES BRING THE BOYS TO THE YARD

After that all the horny guys from her class ganged up on her every day during recess and shoved her into a secluded part of the school yard to take turns openly fondling her huge breasts until the school bell rang.

This went on for a few months until groping her boobs was not enough and Loni had to massage their huge boners with her huge rack. Naturally it wasn´t long before the bastards started shoving their huge horsecocks down Loni´s throat which turned into the daily recess blowjob bonanza.

ONLY THE LONI : THE SEXUAL BLOWJOB TAMING OF MISS ANDERSON

Things seemed to improve when seven boys two classes above Loni scared all the perverts away but her hopes were quickly dashed when she learned that they only did that to use her as their personal blow up sex doll. Which she found out the hard way when they crashed a field trip and bound and gagged her before she could do anything. Then they dragged her to the back of the bus and hid under some left behind sports equipment and as soon as everybody had left the guys stripped off Loni´s clothes and tied her to the last bench where the erect boys took turns.

One of the female teachers returned early and tried to stop them from using Loni like a cheap prostitute but because she was very young and had perfect tits like a pornstar and the hot body of a Playmate of the Year with legs for miles almost up to her chin the boys had wanted to slam - fuck her in the worst way for years. So they simply overpowered her, stripped her naked and tied her together with Loni with her huge boobs squeezed against Loni´s massive melons. Then they tag - teamed both stacked sexbombs with renewed vigour to see how loud they could make them scream until the first of the students started coming back.

They tried to report this but this only brought more attention to Loni´s already booming pornstar body from her teachers who started to make her stay late after class for special oral assignments while it was open season on the teacher who was now sexually assaulted by all her male students and colleagues alike on a daily basis. They drowned her in cum.

BORN FOR PORN 4 : STRIPPING LONI ANDERSON´S PRIVATE LESSONS !

She worked her way through school by secretly winning beauty pageants by day and stripping under the name of Lay Loni at night and when she was 18 she had to become a teacher to support herself and her baby.

She tried working as a babysitter but quickly had to give up that career since all of her clients were either pervy guys who looked much younger then they actually were and lied about their age to get Loni to spend the night in their room where they could use her like their blow up sex doll.

Or boys who really were underage but had already developed a huge cock and used every dirty trick to get blowjob world champion Loni to deepthroat their dicks for hours and grant the perverts sexual favours.

That said a natural born men milking machine like Loni Anderson who was trained from a very young age to drain dicks like a fillipino hooker could have probably handled being relentlessly used as a sextoy by horny liars and early bloomers alike. But on top of that abuse the man of the house insisted on getting a piece of the action once he laid eyes on her.

If she wanted to get paid she had to indulge his sexual cravings and the real reason why she quit the babysitting gig was that every assignment ended with Loni completely naked in the bedroom screaming at the top of her lungs while a sweaty drunk guy brutally assaulted her pornstar body, drilling her in every hole like she owed him money. And she just couldn´t take it anymore getting her brains slamfucked out six ways to Sunday by a serial rapist and his Daddy all night long seven days a week.

HOT FOR TEACHER : WELCOME TO DEEPTHROAT HIGH SCHOOL LONI

Not that she had it any easier as a teacher since most of her pupils were prepubescent megahorny boys who tried to take advantage of the fact that Loni was home schooling them and needed the money doing their best to make her change subject of her classes from english to sex ed.

Even when she managed to persuade them to stick to english their ideas of classic literature was along the lines of Fanny Hill, Lady Chatterly´s Lover, History Of O, Diary Of A Nymphomaniac, Memoirs Of An Ex - Nun With Pent Up Sexual Needs or Joy Of Sex and for film study they went with Russ Meyer movies and tried to re - enact the sex scenes with Loni.

And when they were not trying to openly assault her sexually they were drooling all over her cleavage since the thermostat was set so high that Loni had to open all the buttons of her shirt she could without her boobs popping out. At the end of the class her shirt was so sweaty that it would fit her body like a second skin and she learned very early on not to wear white shirts because it would show her full nipples or to come into the reach of her pupils because they would immediately rip Loni's shirt off.

BORN FOR PORN 5 : YOUR BODY WAS NOT BUILT FOR RADIO LONI !

Best known for being married to Burt Reynolds and playing the highly - paid, sexy, intelligent, and incredibly efficient receptionist Jennifer Marlowe on WKRP in Cincinnati which turned her into a sex symbol overnight Loni was hired for the part after a decade of unemployment because the producers saw a photo of her in a stunning red swimsuit.

The show suffered through the Nielsen ratings during its four year run but had a strong and loyal following among teenagers and young adults thanks to it´s main attraction. Later on Loni played Jane Mansfield, the role she was born for alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger and appeared in the episode Of Guilt, Models And Murders on The Incredible Hulk show.

BORN FOR PORN 6 : TEAMING UP WITH WONDER WOMAN LYNDA !

So it made perfect sense to pair her with ultimate tv sex icon Lynda Carter in Partners In Crime. The premise of the show is that both were married to the same man and meet for the first time at his funeral. They inherit a mansion and a detective agency and after solving his murder it is decided upon that they will continue working at the detective agency ( and as models ) to pay the mortgage on the mansion they inherited.

BORN FOR PORN 7 : A STACKED CAST - BUSENWUNDER LONI ANDERSON

Now before going any further I have to give kudos to any guy - fictional or not - who manages to get married not only to lustful Loni Anderson but also to sex machine Lynda Carter. I wouldn´t call it an upgrade to go from Lynda Carter to Loni Anderson because Lynda Carter is one of my all time tv crushes but on the other hand if you have to pick somebody as a bang substitute for Lynda Carter you better hope to get someone of the calibre of Busenwunder Loni Anderson who has such an incredible body that she was tapped to bring three Hollywood Hall of Boob Fame All Stars to busty live : Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield and Mamie Van Doren.

BORN FOR PORN 8 : A STACKED CAST - NO WONDER BRA FOR LYNDA

Man, no matter why they finally got divorced ( he probably couldn´t keep up with those ultimate men milking machines ) the wedding nights with these incredible sexual goddesses must have been beyond epic.

Although the term " wedding night " might not be appropriate since he probably didn´t let them leave the bedroom for two weeks during which he fulfilled every wet sex dream he had until they wore his schlong out.

Not to mention the other perks of marriage like coming home after a hard day of work only to find one of these dicktamers waiting for him or being able to work out frustrations in the bedroom. And I don´t mean with his fists but through sweaty sex marathons. Man, can you imagine what a crazy bedroom fury young Lynda Carter must have been between the sheets ? Not only did she have a body that could easily multiply the sales numbers of any adult magazine - as she more than proved in her segment of the 1991 made for tv movie Posing : Inspired By Three Real Stories also known as I Posed for Playboy - with her dancer background Linda was extremely flexible and could not only do the splits at the drop of a hat but also bend her nubile body in all kind of imaginable ways.

By the way, if you haven´t done it by now do yourself a favour and check out Bobbie Joe And The Outlaw which contains the only nude scenes of then 25 years old Lynda Carter in her prime. In any case having two of the hottest commodities of that time on the same television show alone should've been worth the price of admission so why did the show tank ?

BORN FOR PORN 9 : LOST IN SYNDICATION - BOOBS vs GOOD WRITING !

Well, besides the two actresses being stoked to work on the project and willing to put their breast foot forward the series was plagued by a literal litany of problems ( all of which you can read at detail in Eric Grigs article The Case Of The Partners In Crime Curse over at POP TRASH MUSEUM ) starting with airing the episodes out of order to capitalize on Vanessa Williams guest - starring in episode two to replacing the original creator with hacks who turned a character driven show into cheap jiggle tv only interested in sex appeal and amping the T & A factor to the max.

Not that there´s anything wrong with that. If I had been the producer of it there would have been an obligatory 5 minutes minimum bikini scene with both actresses wearing the tiniest bikinis I could get past tv censors in every episode which would have been balls to the wall cleavage fest with the girls going undercover as lingerie models or high class escorts ( you can´t have women of class like Lynda Carter and Loni Anderson go undercover as simple street hookers since their cover would be instantly blown because they attract a superior clientele without trying hard ).

But the fact is despite Lynda and Loni doing their best to entertain while wearing hot outfits on the show - with Loni wearing the more revealing ones and even a white bikini in one episode - and having impressive guests the show never got high ratings and only lasted for 13 episodes.

ART IMITATING LIFE : LONI ANDERSON´S INFLUENCE ON COMICBOOKS

Beyond that Loni Anderson had a big impact on pop culture although in a more subtle and more lesser known kind of way since a lot of comicbook artists - with John Byrne and Paul Pelletier being the most obvious ones ( the second of which should be no surprise to any comicbook afficionado worth his salt since he started off imitating John Byrne´s style ) - based the look of their female protagonists on Loni Anderson´s facial features.

Especially in Paul Pelletier's early work you can see the signature traits that mark Loni Anderson as an expert of oral sex : perfect blowjob lips made to be wrapped around a rock hard erection and those pronounced cheekbones women only get from decades of excessive deepthroating.

BUILT FOR SEX : MY EARLY LIFE or HOW TO GET A HEAD IN SCHOOL

On which Loni Anderson got a "head start " ( sorry for the bad pun ) from an early age since her breasts almost exploded to the aforementioned almost inhuman 37D bust after her 14th birthday which enticed her male classmates to start her oral education. At first they were content taking turns motorboating her every day during recess in a secluded part of the school yard until groping her was not enough and Loni had to massage their pulsating boners with her booming teenage titties. Naturally it wasn´t long before it turned into the daily recess deepthroat marathon.

At this point seven delinquents from her school who were 18 noticed Loni and as soon as they got a good eyeful of her overdeveloped double airbags almost popping out of her microscopic bikini - at least it looked that way in comparision - they decided it was about time to take a more active interest in improving her oral skills. So after the incident at the field trip I mentioned where they savagely dick - tamed the underage Busenwunder and a teacher with perfectly shaped breasts who had tried to help her in the back of the bus every day after school they insisted on giving Loni a ride home. This ride of course included a detour to their club house and special soundproof " taming room " where they forced her to swallow their massive monstercocks for hours - a skill set that would come in handy during her college years as the " head " cheerleader but especially in her acting career. Loni was grade a casting couch material.

BUILT FOR SEX 2 : PRIME CASTING COUCH CANDIDATE LONI ANDERSON

Loni didn´t want to get her roles that way but very few studio execs had much faith in her abilities as an actress so she had to swallow her pride and use what Mother Nature had given her in abundance to get work.

But her pride was not the only thing Loni had to swallow as every horny guy in Hollywood with a bit of influence lined up to put her body through the paces once word got out what an incredible dick - drainer she was.

Loni´s days were completely booked with couch auditions and they often lasted into the night when they were relocated to the honeymoon suite of a luxurious five star hotel where three influential movie people would take turns pounding Loni´s pornstar body into submission without mercy.

Thankfully she had a lot of practice spreading her legs like a hooker during her school days because it was the only way for her to get roles.

Loni was constantly in a horizontal position because even if they had planned to give her the role she had come to audition for from the start she still had to spend countless hours on the casting couch taking it in every position because they just couldn´t let the once - in - a - lifetime chance pass to slam - fuck an ultimate breed mare like Loni Anderson.

She was just destined to be a sextoy for men because even if there was a decent bloke among them who hadn´t planned to take advantage of Loni all his good intentions flew right out the window as soon as she entered the audition room and he got a look at her bonerinducing body. Then his basic instincts would kick in and he would ravage her until the morning.

At first Loni managed to avoid being sexually assaulted thanks to her superior deepthroating abilities but those horny perverts were not always satisfied with an hourlong blowjob and whenever she failed to completely drain them things would turn serious. And when you think they dicktamed Loni hard as a brunette that was nothing compared to the upcoming sperm storm she was subjected to as those serial rapist were sent into a fuck frenzy when Loni changed her hair color to blond.

She was merciless assssaulted by huge monstercocks from all sides which relentlessly penetrated every orifice of her body and stretched out all her holes. On top of that the brutal attacks were so overwhelming that she was completely helpless againt them and had no choice but to try and endure. They literally drowned the poor gal in cum and at one point things got so far out of control Loni had to take self defense lessons.

BUILT FOR SEX 3 : GOT MYSELF A WALKING, TALKING LIVING DOLL !

Coming back to Loni´s impact on not only pop culture but culture in general, comicbook artists weren´t the only ones who took inspiration from her mindblowing physique. And since she already looked like a walking talking blow up sex doll it was only a matter of time before a company met the demand of Loni Anderson sex dolls. The first one was a 11 1/2 inch prototype doll for the IDEAL TOY COMPANY that never went into production while the second one to bear her distinctive features was a life - size blow up sex doll that not only went into production but was constantly in rotation to meet the high demand. It was one of the bestsellers and throughout the late 70s and 80s the " Loni Anderson " was one of the most sold love dolls in 52 states - including bible belt states - and was the most popular doll with truckers and state prison inmates.

BORN FOR PORN 10 : CASTING A LONI ANDERSON COMICBOOK MOVIE

Now since I haven´t written much about Loni Anderson up to this point I haven´t done the obligatory super heroine movie casting and the obvious choice would of course be my favorite super heroine of all times, DC Comics Maid of the Massive Mammaries with the magical boob cleavage window, the one and only, often imitated never duplicated Power Girl.

Not only because she´s my favorite but also because Loni Anderson in her prime state would have been one hell of a Power Girl. Talk about a missed opportunity. Power Girl always worked best when paired with Guy Gardner so my Justice League Of America movie would include one of Guy´s usual schemes to have sex with Power Girl. Only I would flip the script on its head and this time it would be Power Girl who instigated the whole thing to get Guy Gardner to slam - fuck her brains out six ways to Sunday like there's no Tomorrow by using ye olde " fake diary with a passage about how Power Girl turns into a cum crazy deepthroat addict when she is drunk " schtick. And the whole thing would take place on Kooeykooey island during the fake fertility fest Power Girl arranged.

That way I could get Busenwunder Loni Anderson to wear Power Girl´s famous coconut bra - without the coconuts of course. Anyway, that would be the obvious choice and if there´s one thing that my longtime followers know me to be than it´s anything but obvious. So my choice for Loni would be Princess Projectra from one of my all time favorite super hero teams - the Legion of Super - Heroes - and I would put her into her 70s disco outfit which is basically one big cleavage from her neck all the way down to one inch above her private parts, boots and a cape. Which I am sure Loni Anderson could have pulled off without breaking a sweat.

As for what kind of scenes I would see her in I have already written about the secret sex orgies the Legion girls celebrated behind closed doors in this LEGION OF SUPER - HEROES post so click there to read more and this way we could add a few of my favourite sexbombs to the cast.

loni anderson animated

toni camille christmas

the british avengers

emma peel in the avengers

torrie wilson

trish stratus ringside

trish stratus and molly holly

sable

glow episode with palestina in battle royal

german wrestling legend otto wanz

survivor series 1991

patrick macnee in thunder in paradise

hulk hogan rock and wrestling

the two breast reasons to watch wrestling

santo meets frankensteins daughter

santo and blue demon versus doctor frankenstein

usually I include an episode of german cult wrestling show catch up but there are not that many episodes left and I wanted to post a wrestling show that includes blonde busenwunder sable

justice league toys

justice league cartoon

best of justice league

full cast reunion

old school cartoon

hellboy christmas

scrooged bill murray

capricorn one

they have not done the 70s yet so this is the earliest we got

german power girl cindy breuer

hatari

schlefaz

since most baywatch episodes have been deleted

automan folge eins mit patrick macnee

lola astanova

german christmas traditions

am laufenden band mit rudi carrell weihnachtsfolge

started with a christmas episode

space firebird

fernsehballett weihnachten

scrooge 1970

the storyteller

juliana bonde

With such an ultimate men milking machine like Juliana Bonde it should be no surprise that some of her videos on YouTube are censored - like some of the videos I included above - and that there are uncensored versions on YouTube. Which of course have an age restriction. Besides Banho De Espuma and Competicao De Bumbum there is Bate De Vontade ( the last video above ) and Oi Amor ( the next to last video from above ) which not only has an uncensored version but also an uncensored version without the annoying special effects. Of course I included both versions.