My Erlangen Diary part 3

As you have probably already noticed I didn´t get to post in the last few days. That is in part due to the fact that I was trying to free some space on my computer. Add to that the fact that I made the mistake to surf aimlessly so I ended up uploading tons of files and burning CDs left and right. Which has freed some GBs on my computer but which hasn´t helped with getting posts done for this blog.

The second reason is that I normally sleep a few hours directly after work because when I get home the computer is not always free so I take the chance to catch up on my sleep so I can post later. But in the last few days my brother insisted to let the sun in and let some fresh air into the bedroom - of course while I´m trying to sleep. This can´t be done in the seven hours BEFORE I get home or AFTER I´m done with sleeping. And it sure as hell it can´t be done when he´s alone there, sleeping and stinking up the room. I don´t know how it is with all you readers out there but I don´t sleep very good in a room that is bombarded with sunlight and a constant draft. When I was younger ( meaning very little, like when I was a little boy ) I had trouble sleeping with the lights out but over the years I got used to sleep in darker lit rooms. Now I can sleep best in absolute darkness and light just bothers me when I´m trying to sleep. Of course my brother has no such limitations being able to withstand the fiercest environment when he´s trying to sleep. No lights, no winds, no thunderstorms, no hail, no rain, no explosions, no earth quakes or apokalypses. I think it is not possible to wake him from sleep with conventional weapons. But enough of the deathlike state my brother enters whenever he sleeps ( the only thing that partly resembles this it the " odin sleep " of Marvel´s Thor comics ) and my sleep deprivation problems.

Just one last comment - in a case of an attack by aliens on earth and the following enslavement through mindcontrol I would be the only eartling who is immune to it. Sleep deprivation, changing the daily routine constantly, malnutrition, not getting enough water to drink, being constantly bombarded with insults and / or propaganda and undergoing grueling work ? Dude, that´s my daily bread and butter. Like Rick Jones once said : Try counting to one billion in the negative zone without going crazy.

But I really should get to the next part of my Erlangen diary since I´m not sure how often I will get to post in the next two weeks. The rest of my family will be in Spain on vacation which means that I will finally be able to get the comics back into my desk, label my videos and watch all the tv shows I have been taping like the last season of 24 ( which was shown like six months ago ) and six videos of CASE CLOSED. Since my brother will only be gone for only two weeks this will be my only chance to catalogue my videos and get them in order. So I guess I will spend the next two weeks in front of the VCR and trying to get as much done as is humanly possible without collapsing - leaving me no time for the column. So I want to post as much as I can this week between my preparations for next week. The first two things I will be doing this weekend after the rest of my family has left will be buying and drinking water till it comes out of my ears and making and eating one big salad ( meaning a real salad with green salad leaves in it and tuna fish and feta cheese - not just some tomatoes and cucumber and calling it salad ). So without wasting any more time let´s get to the next day of my diary :

DAY 2

Today I awoke at six o clock. We didn´t have any showering gel with us so I washed myself with the soap and a small pack of dove showering gel that the hotel provided us with. Which worked out pretty good. At the breakfast I finally saw the pool, which according to my brother is just as big as the pool in Spain. Since I haven´t seen that much of it because on my last visit to Spain it was constantly raining I had to take his word for it. For breakfast I had spiced ham and salami and no jam or nutella this time. After finishing breakfast I woke my brother and emptied the comics I bought yesterday from my suitcase. While my brother ate his breakfast I read the new issue of DIE KLEINEN MUTTERFICKER and then we drove to the Kongresszentrum where the convention was held. This time we found it rather fast but we were a bit early and had one hour till the con opened again. After half an hour the shopping mall near the Kongresszentrum, Galeria Kaufhof, opened and me and my brother took turns to buy the most important thing for the next days in Erlangen.

Which in his case was showering gel ( which he later on forgot in the car so we ended up using the small packs of gel from the hotel for the rest of our stay ), tooth paste, deo spray, water and - socks ! That´s right, socks. My brother has this strange obsession with buying socks whenever he gets the chance...which from his account stems from the fact that I never buy any socks. But that´s only because he buys enough socks for both of us and I normally spend most of my money on important things like comics. He wanted to share the water with me but I bought my own because he had only two bottles of water and I need one bottle of water per day at minimum. He bought some cheap water anyway that did not taste that good ( of course I sampled it before I went to buy my own ) so I decided to pay a little more and get some Volvic water with just a taste of orange and apple. The orange had a bitter aftertaste but apple was okay.

Since I bought way to much comics yesterday ( and the big comic fleamarket hadn´t even taken place since it was scheduled for Saturday ! ) I decided to try and get some sketches ( yesterday I got a sketch of Charon by Levin Kurio and a sketch of Aische and one of the little motherfuckers by the Dinter brothers ). At first I went to the table of SCHWARZER TURM where I had a quick chat with Robi ( comparing our t - shirts again ) and then went to the CARLSEN booth to ask how the requirements were to get a sketch from Humberto Ramos who was one of the main reasons I went to Erlangen and got a number for Ralf König. You always have to ask what you have to do to get a sketch which was one of the reasons why I didn´t even try to get some sketches from the PANINI booth since their requirements are like a mix between SURVIVOR and the LAS VEGAS GAMBLING TOURNAMENT.

If you don´t know Ralf König you probably don´t leave the house very much, he´s this guy ( or gay which term you like better ) who draws this hilarious comics about gay people. It doesn´t matter if you are pro gay or anti gay but his comics are ( the ones I read anyway ) damn funny because he´s just a master of situation comedy and timing always focusing on how strange the customs of heterosexual people must look to gays. A few of his comics have been adapted to film like DER BEWEGTE MANN or WIE DIE KANICKEL. Sorry, I don´t know the american titles. Anyway he´s know everywhere and I know his comics are translated to spanish by LA CUPULA and his stuff has appeared in comic magazines like EL VIBORA ( kind of the spanish version of HEAVY METAL ) which sadly has been canceled this year. So he´s pretty famous and I decided to get in line for a sketch while waiting for the start of the signing of Humberto Ramos. I had a quick exchange with the master ( I asked which comic was his latest one since everybody in line had a different book to sign ), got a nice sketch and a number for Humberto Ramos. My number was 39 so I didn´t expect to get a sketck at the first day but there were two signings sheduled for the following days so I counted on getting one eventually. I mean I especially bought the REVELATIONS hardcover from to get a sketch. Not that I minded, the art was mind blowing and I didn´t have the american issues, but it would be extra plus good to have it signed. I already counted on having to purchase it to get a sketch which ( as I mentioned in one of my earlier postings ) is one of the reasons I stop buying new comics published in Germany six months before Erlangen.

Since I had some time before the start of it I went looking for some comics and found the booth of Andi´s Comic Express where I gave them a big thank you for saving my comic collection and where I looked at the trades of Mike Grell´s JON SABLE trades. I didn´t buy them because I have to buy them one at a time because of my tight budget but I hadn´t had a chance to see the actual trades and I don´t like to buy comics without seeing them first. But I bought two issues of Kelley Jones´run on BATMAN. Then I went around the vendor tables buying some comics and went on to the signing. I stood in line for two and a half hours ( it was supposed to go for two hours but Humberto decided to add an additional 30 minutes ) but I didn´t get a sketch. At the end of the signing the people of CARLSEN told the remaining people in line that the numbers of today would be valid for tomorrow. The best thing about waiting in line for a sketch is talking with other fans and comparing the sketches from your sketchbooks. The worst thing is that you always are next to a person who loves all the comics you hate. In my case it was a die hard fan of the Ennisher. After the end of the signing for today I was pretty exhausted so I went to the stairs near the entrance where some pillows were spread out and a monitor was showing clips from animes. I sat down, listened to my jazztracks and made some notes into my diary ( by the way there IS a new episode online of RedJazzRadio - link in the link section of this blog ) which were the last ones I could make of this day and the next so for the rest of the second day and the third day I have to rely on my memory which is not sooo good.

If my memory is correct at the end of the day I met up with my brother only to find out that while I was pretty tired and only wanted to get back to the hotel as quick as possible he insisted on going to the meeting of the Comicforum, a german online message board. We had no idea where it was taking place but with the address and a city map of Erlangen I managed to get us there without many detours. Altough I was initially against it ( and the fact that my brother drank too much beer for my taste ) it was really nice. Of course I sat next to a femal gambit fan but as the night progressed we had a really good time the discussions getting more absurd and funny as the meeting progressed. During one of the conversations I realized that Gambit is in fact the Kenny of the X - Men, which in hindsight is one more reason for Marvel to let me write an X - Men comic because I promise to kill him off in the worst way possible in every issue. Now before you dismiss the idea of Gambit as the X - Men´s Kenny just think about all the things they have in common : nobody understands them because they have a speech impediment ( Kenny´s coat and Gambit´s accent ), they both come from poor white trash families, both wear stupid coats and their death is highly entertaining.

Afterwards we went to the SCHWARZER RITTER with a few of the Comicforum people. There was not much room at the table so I sat down at the next table where some time later three other comic fans ( two guys and a woman ) joined me. We got to talk and I found out that they were MOSAIK fans who had come all the way from Leipzig to the convention. The woman was especially impressed that I, as a superhero comic reader, knew who the ABRAFAXE were and we had a good exchange till another guy sat down at our table who was weird at the beginning ( I am always suspicious of people who start singing without any apparent reason ) and who got really annoying over a short period of time. He was really starting to insult the guys from Leipzig till we told him to shut up. After being thrown out he even tried to get back in but we all decided to call it a night and head back to the hotel.

The others wanted to call a cab but I insisted that they let us drive them because in our conversation we found out that we were staying at the same hotel ( what a coincidence ). Which sadly meant a long walk since our car was still where the meeting of the Comicforum had taken place. But we arrived at the hotel safe and sound where some of their friends were still up and we were introduced to them ( one of them was the husband of the woman ), had a short conversation but went to bed pretty quick.

So although I didn´t like the idea of going for some beers we met some nice, fellow comic fans. But I fear that´s all we have time for today. I hope I can post more of what happened the next two days in Erlangen tomorrow.

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FLAME ON !

My Erlangen Diary part 2

As I wrote yesterday the next station for me was the Zwerchfell booth. The latest issue of DIE KLEINEN MUTTERFICKER had just beeen released. For those of you in Germany that don´t know the comic ( yes, I mean you two ) it´s a comic about three twelve year old hardcore hip hoppers trying to keep it real - in Heslach ! The comic is just hilarious, especially if you know someobody who is exactly like that ( Shout out to my peep Thorsten keeping it real in Eglosheim, beyotch ! ) but is totally oblivious to it. The best part was the translation of original gangster slang to german. Of course the comic was produced by the Dinter Bros, who draw half the comics released by Zwerchfell. They are a comic instituion and have gone from being simple authors and artists to talent scouts, motivation coaches and all around contact person of Zwerchfell. Not to mention that they are acclaimed movie writers for such movies as THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING LOSERS.

The new issue 5 seems to almost have sold out which is not surprising for me. Additionally to the brilliant comic there was also a CD included with the special edition for the comic salon with music from the german band ISCHEN IMPOSSIBLE ( Ischen is german slang for girls ). All I can say that on the first day there were enough copies available. But I didn´t pass the booth so often because you had to take the stairs to reach the second floor where many of the independent publishers were. Which probably prevented a lot of comic fans to get there.

My third station was of course the table of SCHWARZER TURM ( BLACK TOWER ) where Robi already invited me to a seat. Now Robi is one of the best german comic authors and I think we met for the first time when they had no table in Erlangen. Just a suitcase full of comics between booths. At that time I was already a big Robi fan, not only because he wrote most of the stories for MENSCHENBLUT ( the best comic anthology for adults at that time ) but because he had been HORST BRACK a.k.a. DER BESTRAFER ( which in german means THE PUNISHER ) one of the hosts of CATCH UP one of the best wrestling shows in german television ever. Any wrestling fan who was watching at that time still gets misty eyed when it´s mentioned. So when I met Robi for the first time it was like meeting your favorite comic book writer and wrestling celebrity at the same time.

Now since that time me and my brother had a long relationship with Robi and the guys of SCHWARZER TURM talking comics, thinking about various projects together and such stuff. They even convinced us to get to the comic action last time we were there and I also translated two spanish comics to german for them. Which haven´t come out just yet because of reasons I won´t get into now. But it´s always nice to talk with Robi because he just knows his stuff and you can learn more by listening to him tell about writing comics than by reading several books about the subject. The only thing that bugs me is that he somehow always manages to outdo me with t - shirts. No matter what cool and rare t - shirt I sport.....his is always better.

So I sat down and had a little chat and got the first issue of LUNA the new hit series by Robi and Toni Greis. For all male readers I don´t have to explain much more since everybody knows them from their previous series ALRAUNE. It was even released in the states so don´t pretend you never heard of them. I´m onto you, fella. Now unlike ALRAUNE this new series is not straight porn but of course it has lots of beautiful naked women which is Toni Greis´trademark. And the story by Robi of course sucks you right in. I only was thumbing through the issue when I was at the hotel later and before I knew it I had begun to read half the issue. The stroy ( as far as I could ascertain from the parst I read ) is a science fiction story that takes place on a planet where women are cultivating food and all contact to males is strictly forbidden. Of course a romance develops between one of the females and a member of the male tech staff who supervise the technical equipment. Which naturally leads to all sorts of trouble that leads to a dangerous decision at the end of the first issue. I have no doubt that this series will be another top seller for SCHWARZER TURM.

Now I had finally bought my first comics and was ready to delve into the comic book buying massacre. One comic dealer that always was at the Stuttgart comic fair ( and who got me free tickets the last time I was at the Comic Action ) had a complete run of Green Arrow by Mike Grell, but with a price of 2,50 to 3 EUROs per issue this was just way above my spending limit. Luckily I later found a dealer who had some issues for 1 EURO each so I could get 45 issues, although with some huge gaps. I also could close some gaps in my collection all for 1 EURO or less. I got the GREEN LANTERN MOSAIC issues I was missing, some Teen Titans issues by George Perez, the complete miniseries of TWILIGHT by Jose Luis Garcia Lopez, the complete ADAM STRANGE series by Adam Kubert, the trades of LONGSHOT ( because of the Modern Masters book about him - I wanted to make a special post about him after reading it but I never got around to it ) and KRAVEN´S LAST HUNT ( one of THE best Spider - Man stories written. EVER. ) for half price and some ASPEN and SOULFIRE comics from Michael Turner. When he started the new series it was just typical that somehow I managed to subscribe to the one series he was NOT drawing. All in all when the first day of the convention had ended I was pretty exhausted and just wanted to get back to the hotel.

But of course my brother had other plans than to relax at the hotel pool. He wanted to catch a movie but since the eight o clock showing of X - MEN 3 THE LAST STAND ( yes, I still hadn´t seen it - so sue me ) had already started we decided to get something to eat. We had to walk a while ( which you should be prepared for whenever you leave the house or go somewher with my brother ) but we finally arrived at the HÜHNERTOD ( chicken death ) where my brother had no problem ordering but somehow everything I wanted to eat was already sold out. So it was more like : " No, no calamares, no hamburgers, no cheesburgers, no chicken burgers, no burgers at all. Also no chicken mixed plate and no chicken wings. And no chicken at all. Except for the chicken nuggets. " So I just asked what was left and ordered some salad and chicken nuggets. My brother gave me some of his calamares which were really good but ( of course unbeknownst to me at that time ) not the best I should eat in Erlangen. Naturally Sanchez overindulged himself with the beer which is one of the reasons I don´t like to go with him anywhere because he just knows I don´t like to drink. Which for him is normally the signal to get plastered because he counts on me picking him up at the end and playing the part of designated driver. I really don´t like driving that much and because of his refusal to eat at Mc Donalds or Burger King ( which doesn´t extend to eating all food he can get his hands on whenever me or my brother bring some of the stuff home ) we always have to go to new restaurants. Because otherwise we would know what to expect and how the food is. And that would be too easy.

After we had finished our meal we went to see X - MEN 3 which I really liked. I mean I´m happy as long as Gambit does not appear in a X - Men movie but it was really action packed and very daring. I didn´t miss Nightcrawler since the movie versions of Beast and Angel were all very good. I wonder who the protagonists of the next movie will be since they have now assembled the founding members Cyclops, Beast, Marvel Girl, Iceman and Beast. Naturally my brother was still worked up after the movie so we went to the SCHWARZER RITTER ( BLACK KNIGHT...I think it was named in honor of the famous member of the AVENGERS ) where he had to get an alcohol free beer. Now for me alcohol free beer makes as much sense as going to the movies and closing your eyes. Beer doesn´t taste that great and I only drink it with the right meal. There´s nothing better than drinking an ice cold beer with your schnitzel on a hot summer day - but alcohol free beer ? You can´t even get a decent buzz which for me is already half the fun. If you can´t afford to get drunk - drink coke !

Now the SCHWARZER RITTER is the most infamous bar in Erlangen with a large history with the comic salon of Erlangen. Whenever something wild, crazy and illegal happened it happened here. So it was no surprise that Wittek from the comic label Alligator Farm signed Sanchez right arm with a marker in bold black letters proclaiming " cojonsel " in retaliation for his alcohol abuse. We went back to the hotel afterwards ( which we found a little easier this time ) and that was the end of our first day in Erlangen.

Tomorrow I will write about our second day and whom we met on our second visit to the SCHWARZER RITTER.

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CRIMINALS ARE A COWARDLY AND SUPERSTITIOUS LOT, SO MY DISGUISE MUST BE ABLE TO STRIKE TERROR INTO THEIR HEARTS. I MUST BE A CREATURE OF THE NIGHT, BLACK, TERRIBLE... A...A...BATMAN!