I want a Claremont / Byrne X - Men movie

If you are reading this you already know that the birthday post about Traci Bingham didn´t go up as planned - which might not be a bad thing - since this gives me the opportunity to do a more comic oriented post about the Chris Claremont / John Byrne / Terry Austin period of UNCANNY X - MEN.

There are few things all comics fans can agree to so this alone should tell you what a high quality the stories and the art of these stories have since they are collectively considered the gold standard all other creative art teams on the title strive to achieve ever since - successfully or not.

And if you have watched Comic Book Girl 19´s fantastic X - MEN : EPIC HISTORY videos ( and at this point I assume everybody who has only the slightest interest in X - Men has ) you know that one of the reasons why she started this series ( which will hopefully be continued so please go and support her channel ) is that while there have been a lot of X - Men movies in the last years that are really good - and another one coming with X - MEN : APOCALYPSE - up to this point there hasn´t been an adequate representation of the Chris Claremont / John Byrne X - Men.

I know there are some changes you have to make when you adapt a comic from the printed page to the silver screen and I applaud the efforts they have done to stay true to the characters but I still miss the version that I became a fan of when I read my first issues in the spanish translations.

Which - as was the norm back then even with spanish comics - was not at the start of the Chris Claremont / John Byrne X - Men run but rather in the middle of The Dark Phoenix Saga. Luckily I was able to find a few older issues so that I managed to get as far back as The Proteus Saga.

Which in my opinion doesn´t get nearly enough credit as it deserves.

Being overshadowed by The Dark Phoenix Saga this four part story from issues 125 to 128 of UNCANNY X - MEN was a first step into the dark and realistic stories that were to follow during Chris Claremont´s and John Byrne´s tenure on the book. It also filled in a lot of back story with Professor Charles Xavier and Moira McTaggert and gave Chris Claremont a chance to explore the characters as they really went through the ringer in this one. Especially Cyclops showed why he was such a great leader and it is because of these issues that he became my favorite character in the book. This was before he was transformed into a giant dick, mind you.

Yep, Wolverine was still human back then and could be rattled by the experience of going up against Proteus who could bend reality to his will.

Which was a perfect opportunity for artist John Byrne to really let loose.

To back up on the story a little - and this is the part with the spoilers for those who still haven´t read the Chris Claremont / John Byrne run - when we open in issue 125 the X - Men have split into two factions and each of them thinks the other part is dead. Which is the result of a fight against Magneto in his base in Antarctica which was engulfed by lava and in the ensuing chaos the team was separated. Jean Grey and the Beast escaped into the antarctic wilderness where they were rescued by a helicopter. The rest of the team was trapped underground and ultimately landed in the Savage Land. Which is one of the stories I would have adapted as a X - Men movie and not only because Storm has a nice outfit in that one. 

You have the whole prehistoric world backdrop of a lost civilization at the earth´s core which has inspired stories from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle´s LOST WORLD ( which is adapted ad infinitum ) to Mike Grell´s WARLORD.

Ever since JURASSIC PARK dinosaurs in movies are doable and much more exciting than the go - motion puppets or lizards with prosthetics that were used in movies when I was a kid. So in this story you have the jungle backdrop, you have dinosaurs, you have topless tribeswomen even if John Byrne could not do full frontal nudity because of the Comics Code 

and you have Storm taking a bath which is sadly cut short by Karl Lykos, a mutant who transforms into a half human half pterodactyl creature. Who calls himself Sauron, so nice Tolkien reference there Mister Claremont.

Here is the color version of this gorgeous splash page from issue 115 :



Back then the art team combo of penciler John Byrne and inker Terry Austin were really knocking it out of the ballpark on that book with each issue. Here´s another awesome double page spread fron that issue :

Once again - to compare - here´s the original art of that splash page.

I know that I posted some of the art in my Days of Future Past long gone by post but then I only had the colored versions and I wanted to add the black and white art. Okay, back to missed opportunities in X - Men movies I would have probably given my right arm to see Janet Jackson in that role but I guess I´m the only one who would had cast her for that role.



The same goes for Traci Bingham, who was my other default casting for Storm before Halle Berry got the role. It really shows how business savy Pamela Anderson is because from all the babes that were on BAYWATCH she is the only one who was able to garner that attention into a long lived career. Even if she too did some questionable movies. And it´s not that Traci Bingham was less attractive but she somehow only ended up making bad movies and even worse reality tv after BAYWATCH ( which I covered a bit more in detail in her birthday post which I will hopefully get posted ).



Staying a bit on the topic of missed opportunities in the X - Men movies I have to say that even if I´m a big fan of Halle Berry ( I own CATWOMAN on DVD ) I was a bit disappointed that she didn´t get to wear the classic " swimsuit with leather boots " outfit. Halle would have totally rocked that.

Another costume that would have looked good on Halle Berry is the big 90s anime shoulder leather costume Storm had during the Blue Team / Gold Team era but I guess it was too new wave / punk for Hollywood.

Speaking of punk, there is also Storm´s punk outfit with the mohawk when she returned from SECRET WARS and lost her powers. She was totally bad ass, fought Cyclops for leadership of the X - Men and won. 

So from all of Storm´s long and interesting history almost nothing of that made it into the movie adaptions and somehow Halle Berry ended up with the worst of all the costumes from the comics even though they had such a variety to choose from. It´s a real shame that they couldn´t find more to do for such an award winning actress who still looks fantastic at 49. 

But back to The Proteus Saga ( which is what I was talking about before going completely on a tangent ) at the start of the story the x - Men think that Jean Grey and the Beast are dead while they think the rest of the X - Men are dead. The remaining X - Men have their adventure in the Savage Land in issues 114 to 116 and Jean and Hank have their own stuff to deal with so like in every good soap opera they keep missing each other until Nightcrawler has a run in with Beast. Finally the X - Men team is reunited.

Just in time to go up against Moira´s parasitic offspring Proteus who has left a trail of dead bodies in his wake and resides in Moira´s abusive ex.

Because of his reality warping powers the X - Men have a hard time but in the end it´s Colossus who manages to vanquish the villain thanks to his vulnerability to metal. It´s a really character defining moment for Piotr.

To read more about The Proteus Saga Duy Tano at THE COMICS CUBE has a post that covers all this, BRONZE AGE BABIES has single posts on all the issues ( 125 , 126 , 127 , 128 ) and SCANS DAILY has a post on Shreds of Humanity, a back up story by Ann Nocenti and John Bolton in issue 32 of CLASSIC X - MEN, which is the series where I could finally read all the issues by Chris Claremont that were missing in my collection in their original version. This was long before Marvel Comics had so many trades.

Coming back to the UNCANNY X - MEN run by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, one of the reasons why I got hooked so easily by the series was that John Byrne really knew how to draw hot babes ( remember this shot of Jean Grey ? ). It was just at the time when I became interested in girls but was too young to buy the PLAYBOY so comic massitas were my porn.

Especially the issues with the Hellfire Club although I wasn´t so sure at that time what the whole deal with Jean Grey´s outfit was since you could see more of her when she was wearing a bikini. Yes, the full appreciation for the Emma Peel inspired corsage and leather boots came years later.

But more than that these were really great stories and it´s a shame that most of it never made it into the movies. Now I could say that there are millions of poor movie goers out there who will never get to experience the greatness that was the new X - Men in its full effect because while some may actually set foot in a comic shop to get The Dark Phoenix Saga most of them don´t realize that there are also preceding stories like The Phoenix Saga or The Proteus Saga which are also part of that big opus.

Yes, I said " I could say " because I think that if you are too lazy to read the comics it´s your own fault with all the different versions like digital comics or the hefty omnibuses in which all these stories are available.

And this is all I´m going to say about this topic Today but I´m sure there will be more posts about the Chris Claremont / John Byrne run on X - Men in the future. When I have finished with this post I will try to finally get the Traci Bingham post online although I will probably change some of the pictures as I have used some of them for this post and I try to avoid posting the same pictures over and over again if possible. Next here will probably be my post about how Power Man and Iron Fist met Doctor Who.

As usual there are many websites to give thanks to and mention which were helpful during the making of this post or I found them while looking for something completely different and they still have something which might interest my readers. The impromptu outdoor danger room session from UNCANNY X - MEN 127 is the topic of two posts, one at SCANS DAILY and one at COMIC BOOK RESOURCES which also has posts on The Top Five " Bang ! You Dead ! " moments in X - Men comics , The Many Dead Loves of Wolverine , That Time Wolverine " Fought " a Little Lisping Girl Robot Bomb and the anniversary 50th issue of WOLVERINE by Marc Silvestri.

For a bit more background info SUPER MEGA MONKEY`S MARVEL COMICS CHRONOLOGY has a post on UNCANNY X - MEN issues 111 to 117 and iFANBOY has the famous page from UNCANNY X - MEN 142 where a sentinel kills Wolverine. Many thanks and kudos go out to all you guys.

We start Today´s video section with the first issue of The Proteus Saga and you can find the other issues ( as well as many more ) on YouTube.



I talked a lot about Chris Claremont so here he is on Comic Culture.



Another video with Amy Dallen about ... well, it says in the title that it´s about WOLVERINE & THE X - MEN ( which was one of the few good series left at Marvel before they relaunched it ) but the biggest part is about Amy going to the zoo to look for new students for the mutant school.



Since most of the videos from the X - MEN cartoon are of a questionable quality due to their restrictions Today´s cartoon related video is the Nostalgia Critic´s examination of the first episodes of the cartoon. And I have to agree, without the rapping wannabe juvenile delinquents from the german version the title song is totally Airwolf. By the way, not only was The Proteus Saga adapted in the cartoon - although in a much diluted version - one of the characters was Morph who was on EXILES and met another version of Proteus in one of the alternate realities they visited.



This is from an episode of The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon I just watched and it´s the best musical impressions ever. Ariana is not " grande " where her height is concerned but her voice is " grande ".



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What´s in store for 2009 ? Part 2

Time to continue our look at what Marvel has planned for 2009.

more of the dark and more Avengers

When CIVIL WAR was announced it seemed that it was just a run - of - the - mill - crossover like dozens before. Well, this year the fallout from the event that changed the landscape of the Marvel universe seems to continue with DARK AVENGERS.


Well, I thought NEW SECRET DEFENDERS.....ahem, I mean " Bendis NEW AVENGERS " and MIGHTY AVENGERS were dark enough. Obviously Marvel doesn´t share my opinion so there is a new title. Like that´s what we really need. Another title. And more of the grom and gritty. I guess it´s true that it gets a whole lot worse before it gets better.

Okay, let´s not get too hasty in comdemming the title. It´s got Mike Deodato Jr. on pencils which means I finally know where he went off to after his THUNDERBOLTS issues. I can´t say much about the story because I don´t read too much previews and now that Marvel also has stopped providing MILE HIGH COMICS with preview pages ( because Marvel can´t give stuff away for free even if it multiplies their sales ) I can´t get it there neither. As it´s a new book it has the 3.99 price tag and I really love Mike Deodato......but not that much.

What´s more since this is going to be one of the " hot " titles the first trade will probably be out one month after issue six. So I´m not sure if I should put it on the pull list. Another thing I find weird is the variant cover for issue 3. I mean the regular cover is a full frontal boobity shot of Morgaine LeFay while the variant is.....Hawkeye ?


Okay, am I the only one hearing Cartman´s voice in my head ?

" Hawkeye or boobies ? "

" Hawkeye or boobies ? "

" Hawkeye on one side boobies on the other Side . Hmm, decisions, decisions. "


I think somebody should explain the concept of variant covers to Marvel. Or maybe not.

And since we haven´t had enough of secret invasions, secret illuminatis and behind - the - scenes movers and shakers with all the stuff involved with the Osborn Supremacy :

Doctor Doom! Emma Frost! The Hood! Namor the Sub-Mariner! Loki! They're the members of Norman Osborn's secret Cabal of villainy, united in common cause as they move to change the very landscape of the Marvel Universe! Now, in five all-new stories, learn how each member of this sinister syndicate intends to capitalize on the situation-and perhaps how they intend to deal with each other should it prove necessary!


Another 3.99 book that sounds like AVENGERS ILLUMINATI - only without Jim Cheung´s awesome pencils. Not that the stories were anything but boring and 90 percent pure WTF ? So now we really need more of that ? And am I the only one who´s slightly creeped out by female Loki ? Foki ? What ? I don´t know. Yes, Loki was always described as a kind of hermaphrodite in the original folk tales and having characteristics of both sexes. But it´s one thing to read about it in a book and another to see something like this in the comic continuity. I guess I´m just too used to see Loki as a guy in the pages of Marvel comics. This book is definitely a candidate for first taking a look at it when I see it in the comic shop.

more superheroes become superheroines

But wait.....there´s still more WTF to come. Foki ( Floki ? ) is nothing compared to....ta da da daaaa.....the NEW BLACK PANTHER ! Now with 100 percent more boobies !


As a comic reader who is reading comics for more than 20 years now I can tell you there´s a simple sign for when a comic publisher is at the end of the creative rope. And that´s when they introduce female versions of their comic characters. And I don´t mean books like SUPERGIRL, BATGIRL, SPIDER - GIRL or SHE - HULK. No, comic companies have always done female counterparts of their male heroes with sometimes mild success and - in a few cases - with really spectacular results.

No, what I mean is the " Oh no, Superman ( or the Punisher or any other comic character ) is suddenly a girl ! Who is she and where did she come from ? " Can you get more unoriginal ? I remember back when Rob Liefeld ( can´t believe I really mentioned that name on my blog ) was doing a month where all male heroes were suddenly chicks. Man, what a total gimmick ! Everybody was getting on his case. And now Marvel´s doing it.

The Black Panther is back.....and she´s badder than ever. Who is she ? Who cares ? Can somebody explain to me what was wrong with the Black Panther we had ? Okay, the sales might not have been as good lately. Which could have something to do with the fact that the art mostly......sucked. No, really. I have been reading the book since the relaunch because my brother has it on his pull list and apart from the issues by Scott Eaton there hasn´t been good art since John Romita Jr. left after ISSUE 6.


It´s always the same : comic publishers start a new title with a lot of hype, superstar artists and lots of expectations. Then after six months - I mean the first trade - the hype is gone taking with it the star artist, the high sales position and everybody is scratching their heads why fans leave the book in drones. You just can´t sell a title on their reputation of past glories alone. You have to put out a quality product if you want a permanent connection with the reader.

more totally different and all - new superheroines

Speaking of superheroes being suddenly superheroines this brings us to superheroines suddenly being totally different superheroines. Which brings us to one of the recurring topics on this blog : SHE - HULK. Why can´t they just let it die ? I think we all have accepted that Marvel.....well, basically they just don´t know what to do with the title. Other than completely destroying it. Finally Peter David had a good idea although you have to ask yourself why the idea of an " all girls team " is always the last thing he comes up with.

That was the case with SUPERGIRL where it got cancelled before he could implement it ( which basically happens when writers think they need 50 issues of buildup before they can share their really good ideas ) and in SHE - HULK he only got it in in the last issues before cancellation. I mean it was also in the restarted HULK book so obviously Marvel knows that it´s something that attracts readers.


If you have seen the variant cover by Arthur Adams you know on which AVENGERS story from the 70s this is based but I have to ask myself : Really, Marvel ? You need 40 years to come back to that ? You only JUST NOW realize that you should do a follow up ?

For years I have prophesied the end of the SHE - HULK title because Marvel doesn´t know how to do it. Is it really so hard ? I mean the last issues of HULK have shown that you CAN have good artists like Frank Cho and Arthur Adams working on a book without forcing them to do 22 pages a month. I think the basic idea is that Marvel is unclear on it´s target audience with this book. I guess they are not unaware that the title is mostly read by males even if they have clearly no intention to cater to that audience since neither the stories are what guys like to read nor the art is geared towards them - aside from the issues done by Paul Pelletier.

On the other hand I don´t think it´s really targeted at girls.


I mean where are the horses ? If you really want to be successful in capturing the female audience you have to include horses. Sounds like a cliche but if you look at successful comics in catering to this audience you can see that it´s true. It may be a coincidence and not intended for that purpose alone like in NEW MUTANTS but it works. And where are the horses ? In HULK. Yes, the Valkyrie appeared in the pages of SHE - HULK but not her flying horse.

Now it could be that the artist can´t draw horses but than he shouldn´t be on a comic book for girls. Unless it´s not a comic for girls. But then for who is it ? Anyway, seeing as Marvel has clearly no idea who their readers are and what they might like - add to that the sudden realization that they never really tapped into the potential of Thundra - their idea for a restart on SHE - HULK seems kind of desperate.

In the spirit of the old MARVEL TWO IN ONE they just mash SHE - HULK and THUNDRA together and I really don´t want to speculate with which new name the internet community will come up for her. Shundra ? Thulka ? Sunk ? I know that it has something to do with the RAMPAGING HULK special which is all of a sudden required reading.


Way to kill two comics with one atomic bomb.

more relaunches

Speaking about relaunches brings us to EXILES 1. Yes, after cancelling the first EXILES series with issue 100 ( we don´t want those three digit issue numbers ) and restarting the whole book as NEW EXILES under the pen of Chris Claremont they have just cancelled it again. Only to bring it back again in the hopes that it will stick the third time around. Now I haven´t read THAT many issues of the EXILES franchise - only the first issues that were covered in the MONSTER from PANINI where they basically fumbled all the FUCK YEAH !- moments and the run where Paul Pelletier did the artwork. I have already sold the issues from that period that were not done by Paul Pelletier since I have to start selectioning the parts of my huge comic collection I intend to keep.

And I have to say compared with the rest the final five issues that were written by Chris Claremont show a huge decline in quality. I really don´t want to say that Chris Claremont is only rewriting his old UNCANNY X - MEN scripts again and again. But how many times can you bring THE TERROR from the CAPTAIN BRITAIN books and EXCALIBUR back ? And always with the Psylocke. I know she´s his favorite character and every time somebody kills her he brings her right back. I like her too. But we all know the drill : Psylocke comes back, Psylocke goes to another dimension, Psylocke has to go up against that dimension´s Slaymaster and we all have to re - read the whole Psylocke / Slaymaster soap opera all over again. Really, it´s not even funny anymore.

So now Marvel tries it again.


This time without Chris Claremont and without good artists like Paul Pelletier or Tom Grummet. Or it may be just to raise the cover price to 3.99 since Marvel seems to have the policy only to raise the prices for new books ( at least at the moment ). But - they brought Blink back. And that´s what really counts. Maybe I´m totally off and Jeff Parker writes really good stories and Salvador Espin has made a huge jump in his artistic evolution - we´ll have to wait and see for that.

Wow, this and the last part have really turned out quite negative. But at first sight it seems there is not much good that has been announced for this year. I´ll have to continue the review of 2008 to post some postitve content. Or maybe there will be something cool in the third part. Anyway, as always a more uplifting picture to end this post : pantsless Namor. In the spirit of FREE WILLY the avenging son let´s his little submariner roam free. More power to him.


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