TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: A Weird Wednesday with Bernie Wrightson

We definitely are kicking of the new year in style with a long overdue spotlight on the original SWAMP THING series by comicbook legends Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson. And I'm saying " long overdue " because while I have done a solo post about all the great series Len Wein has worked on during his career I never got to do one about the late Bernie Wrightson.

Of course I have included some original art by Bernie Wrightson as often as I can but it was never enough for a proper spotlight post. Longtime followers of the blog know that I also mentioned one of my favourite DC Comics heroes co - created by Len Wein THE HUMAN TARGET a number of times and while most people see him as a third - stringer he managed to be adapted into two tv shows ( in the first one Christopher Chance was played by famous rock star Rick Springfield after whom the town in The Simpsons was named ) not counting his appearances in the Arrowverse.

Likewise I have mentioned SWAMP THING in a lot of posts but so far we haven't done a spotlight post on it. So you might wonder what prompted me to amend this gross oversight and as attentive blog followers know I have been adding a lot of Alan Moore related content to my year - end post for 2025. Because I almost never get to write about him. And I know that everyone has an opinion about him but my take is that while he can be quite vocal about his dislike for certain things he has written some of the greatest stories in comicbooks that have changed the comicbook industry quite a few times. So I am willing to cut him some slack and on this blog it's all about concentrating on the bright side of life anyway. In any case, Alan Moore's list of groundbreaking comicbook series of course also includes SWAMP THING and I was about to do a spotlight on that since there was enough original artwork from that series in my folders but when I saw that there was also enough for a spotlight on the original run by Len Wein and Bernie Wrightson I just had to go all old school first.

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wes cravens swamp thing with ultimate cult siren Adrienne Barbeau but don't get too excited since they have cut out all of her nude scenes for YouTube

ADRIENNE BARBEAU SAYS : DON'T GO POKIN' IN THE OKEFENOKEE !

All natural 40D - 25 - 36 Busenwunder Adrienne Barbeau was clearly destined for boob fame from the moment she began her career as a go go dancer for the mob and in the Off Broadway nude musical Stag Movie.

She was also married to director John Carpenter ( you can't fault that man's taste ) and appeared in Escape From New York after making her movie debut in The Fog alongside natural born 38C - 22 - 34 striptease blow up sex doll and scream queen JaMILF " Freezeframe " Lee Curtis .

While Adrienne Barbeau appeared in other horror movies like Creepshow she is best known as one of the original Lamborghini babes alongside bonerinducing blonde Busenwunder Tara " what rhymes with " Buckman in the original Cannonball Run movie from 1981 where her main purpose is to distract the highway patrol - and the male audience - by opening her zipper and flashing her impressive cleavage as often as possible.

Now if you have seen Cannonball Run you will remember the waitress with the extra - large double whoppers in the opening scene whose name is not in the opening credits, in the end credits or on any internet page ( and believe me fella, I´ve looked ). Well, just recently I found a clip with some scenes of Farrah Fawcett from the movie and her scene is also in there. So far I just called her Waitress Busenwunder but now I can tell you that her real name is Vickie Reigle. Now in Germany Vickie is not a good name for a woman - just ask german singer Nikki who had to suffer a lot of dirty jokes because of her name ( what rhymes with " Nikki ? " ).

Coming back to living blow up sex doll Adrienne Barbeau, the bra - busting brunette soon became famous as the biggest boobs on sitcom tv during the 70s when she played the daughter of Bea Arthur´s tit - ular firebrand on Maude where the small screen could barely contain her huge melons in such classic episodes like The New Housekeeper, Walter´s Ethics, Walter´s Crisis, The Slumlord, Carol´s Promotion, The Election, Maude´s Facelift but especially The Case of the Broken Punch Bowl and Maude´s Big Decision and I have never seen so much boner - inducing bouncing action on prime time tv as in Maude´s Musical.

As Adrienne Barbeau recalls : " What I didn´t know was that when I said my lines I was walking down a flight of stairs and no one was listening to me since they were just watching my giant breasts precede me. "

The ultra bosomy brunette was also cast in numerous made - for - tv films and guest appearances on cleavage - enhanced shows as The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Valentine Magic on Love Island much to the delight of her million of male fans as well as a very memorable braless dash on Battle of the Network Stars . In her biography Adrienne claims : " I actually thought CBS asked me to be on Battle of the Network Stars because they thought I was athletic. My husband clued me in : who cared if I won the race, as long as my huge tits bounced when I ran. "

The popularity of Adrienne Barbeau´s 1978 cheesecake poster confirmed her status as an international sex symbol and the rest is boob history.

While reviewers have sometimes criticized her acting ability, Barbeau´s popularity stemmed partly from what critic Joe Bob Briggs referred to as the " two enormous talents on that woman " and her typecasting as a " tough broad ". Barbeau refused offers to appear topless in PLAYBOY, although she has appeared nude in High Society, films and Off Broadway plays. Despite her initial success, she said at the time that she thought of Hollywood as a " flesh market " and that she´d rather appear in films that " explore the human condition " and which " deal with issues ".

You can read more about Adrienne in this post which touches on Brian Michael Bendis´s Superman and Swamp Thing - in comics, movies and tv.

return of swamp thing with heather locklear and monique gabrielle

I know that there are people who like the second one better because of the overall campy atmosphere and the better special effects but give me Adrienne Barbeau over Heather Locklear any day. They had 34D - 24 - 34 Penthouse Pet Of The Month Of December in 1982 Monique Gabrielle in the movie who catapulted herself into the top ranks of cult sirens with her performance in Emanuelle 5 but they did not give her much to do.

Her part was completely wasted. If you have a famous Penthouse pet and skin flick veteran like Monique Gabrielle in your movie a nude scene should be obligatory. I mean, it doesn't have to be a sex scene - although that would have been nice and Monique more than proved that she was born for these kind of scenes in Emanuelle 5 - and if I was her boss I am slam - banging her brains out in the worst way eight ways to Sunday on a regular basis even if I had to make up an excuse like it's for stress relief.

Also since in the comicbooks the main villain Arcane was always creating all kind of monsters to fight Alec Holland, the Swamp Thing, we could include a scene where there is a security breach in the facility and since Monique Gabrielle's character is the security chief she and Arcane too go immediately to investigate the source of the disturbance. When they do arrive all the creatures have escaped their holding cells and so Arcane leaves Monique Gabrielle behind who is then assaulted by dozen of horny sex beasts who penetrate every orifice in her body with their thick, giant tentacles. Arcane watches - and records ( for scientific reasons only ) - the entire ordeal but decides not to get himself involved on the chance that one of the monstrosities manages to impregnate Monique Gabrielle who then could give birth to a creature who can defeat Swamp Thing.

But even if we don't take advantage of all the possibilities the comicbook alone offers us to include a sex scene would it have hurt so much to have a scene where the two annoying boys we have to suffer throughout the entire movie peek at her naked pornstar body while she is taking a bath ?

That way there would at least a good reason for them to be in the movie : as a cheap excuse to see ultimate blow up sex doll Monique Gabrielle naked. Or at least let Monique wander around in sexy underwear or a skimpy micro bikini. What a blatant misuse of grade - a babe material.

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swamp thing tv show first episode with science fucktion cult siren Kari Wuhrer who really knows how to scorch up the solver screen with her bonerinducing 38C - 24 - 33 measurements

Kari is best know for her role of Maggie Beckett on sci fi cult show Sliders. She was put on the cast as the boner guarantee for the male audience and they got more than their money´s worth in the Wild West episode where she´s almost spilling out of her snug saloon girl corsage.

When I cast Kari Wuhrer as Gypsy in my Casting the JLA movie series Gypsy hadn´t appeared on The Flash. So when I chose Kari for that role Gypsy´s super powers did not include vibing between dimensions but when people read it now they might get the impression that I chose Kari because of the tv show where she was sliding between the dimensions.

Kari Wuhrer also did some voice acting as Black Canary in Justice League : Crisis On Two Earths, Silver Banshee in Batman Unlimited : Monster Mayhem, Vixen in the tv series and Vixen : The Movie and last but not least Barbara Gordon and Pamela Isley in Batman : Gotham By Gaslight.

Other comicbook related work includes Mike Allred's MADMAN spin - off movie G - Men From Hell and the voice of Maria Hill in The Avengers : Earths Mightiest Heroes ( which is still THE best adaption of the comic books ), Marvel Heroes, The Marvel Experience and Disney Infinity 3.0.

Kari also was in Hot Blooded, a really bad movie that doesn`t even have full frontal nudity. Nevertheless it´s one of my favorite movies with Kari because she looks really hot in this one. You get to see a lot of cleavage and boobs and in the first sex scene on the bed you can see her sexy ass.

And because one scene where she´s at a gas station and pulls down her leather top to make the desk clerk horny. She´s really pulling it in all directions so you get to see her full boobs. I have no evidence but I swear I can see some nipple. I bet Kari had to do this scene a hundred times as the crew was sabotaging all takes just to see her boobs again.

In any case, I had this on a video tape on a loop and I must have heard the words " This material just does not breathe ! " a hundred times.

Like I said there is no full frontal nudity in this cineastic masterpiece but you get a bit of sideboob in a scene that was heavily cut on german tv.

They cut parts from when she´s using a whip to get into the mood and pours hot wax on his body. They also cut some parts from where she´s on top of him which I didn´t know until I found the movie on the internet.

Damn you, germans for keeping Kari Wuhrer´s sideboob away from me !

Shooting this scene took a whole week because Kari´s on screen partner Kristoffer Ryan Winters got a huge erection every time the blow up sex doll rubbed her naked breasts all over him ( especially when her nipples were hardening ) and climaxed a few times before the end of the scene.

The lucky stiff ( in every sense of the word ) was so smitten with Kari that he agreed to not getting paid during the filming of the scene and slipped director David Blyth some cash so he wouldn´t stop shooting.

Day after day they would try to capture the scene - at least Kari did since Kristoffer was only interested in getting a full chest massage with Kari Wuhrer's awesome tits - and while Kari tried to be a professional and do her part Kristoffer squirted more and more as Kari desperately slutted it up more with each take in the hopes of finally getting it done.

In the end Kari found out what was happening and almost fucked him into a coma during a weekend long non - stop marathon sex orgy where she made him squirt his load so many times that he couldn´t get it up.

The next day they resumed shooting the scene they luckily nailed it ( no pun intended ) with the third take because by the fourth Kari´s perky porn puppies had gotten Kristoffer hard enough to cut a diamond again.

Which he more than proved when he dropped in unannounced in Kari's trailer afterwards and slam - banged the living daylights out of her six ways to Sunday. Now the good news was that Kari managed to shoot the scene by almost fucking him into a coma. And the bad news was that Kari only managed to shoot the scene by almost fucking him into a coma.

Because after spending a week of tricking Kari into rubbing her naked body - and especially her perfectly perky sweater puppies - all over his body combined by experiencing what Kari really can do in the bedroom when she lost all inhibitions and released her inner nympho Kristoffer had gotten a real liking to using Kari as his personal blow up sex doll.

So if she wanted to finish the picture ultimate men milking machine Kari Wuhrer had to indulge his sexual cravings and when she was not lying on her back spreading her legs wider than a seasoned phillipino hooker after the shooting she was busy deepthroating his gigantic manhood or even giving him a double breasted deepthroat dick massage between takes.

While the sexual favours she had to grant him during the day stayed on a relatively even level the nightly sex - athlon olympics quickly escalated and his urges became more and more perverted. To make things worse Kristoffer started using performance enhancing drugs so he could stay erect all night much to Kari's chagrin who had to suffer his sexual assault helplessly while he relentlessly pounded her porn body into submission.

Coming back to Sliders I may be going out on a limb but I think I am one of the few who thinks the show got better when Kari Wuhrer joined the ensemble. Which is in part because she's one of my all time tv / movie crushes but on the other hand there are a lot of problems with the first seasons nobody mentions. You have people go on how great the first seasons without Kari were but for me there were a lot of things that never made sense to me. Like them always standing around and giving longwinded speeches after opening the slide portal to the next world.

Aren't these things open for only a short time ? But instead of jumping in as fast as they can they stand around, go shopping or read a newspaper.

Then also did anyone notice that they always said that they could not get involved and change things but in the end they always did it ? The worst at this was Wade and she was a character I hated because she was so annoying with her hippie mentality. So when they got rid of that flat chested drama queen after the introduction of Kari Wuhrer I wasn't sad.

They tried to turn it into a show with two wild guys and two sexbombs but let's be real here Sabrina Lloyd just wasn't in Kari Wuhrer's league.

So this is not the first time I brought up Sliders or Kari Wuhrer - as my longtime followers can attest - but something that completely slipped my mind until I came across an episode is that four years before Jerry O'Connell played teen prodigy Quinn Mallory on Sliders he wrapped up the show My Secret Identity ( Ultraman, My Secret Me in the german version ) where he played a teenager who suddenly gets super powers.

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Now the best part of HEAVY METAL is of course the last story with sultry amazon warrior Taarna - which is why they left it for the end because the best part always comes last - and I was looking for good videos with her but of course you can't find her best and breast scenes on YouTube.

Although after going back and re - watching the movie they turned out much shorter than I remembered. If that is because they censored the german version - which would not surprise me - or because I remember things differently than they really happened is a question I can't answer.