Thursday, July 08, 2021

By George ! Crisis on Infinite Earths - part 4

It seems that the more things change the more things stay the same since I also had technical difficulties when I posted the third installment of this.


As always I have to cut stuff from the main post - again - if I want to finish it and since I already did a spin - off post for hasian ejaculation sensation Akira Lane it´s only fair to do a comicbook related post for one of the other celebrity birthdays of June the 9th. So we get our George Perez post after all. Since our main post is all about Marvel Comics we continue with our fourth part on the mega crossover CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS.

It´s also our newest George Perez tribute series. Anyway, before we come to the pages of issues 6 and 7 we have a callback to issue 3 because as always I find some of the best material AFTER I have finished the post.


For those who have missed part 1 and part 2 of this series these posts are neither meant to be an in - depth analysis nor will I be posting full issues.

Except for one or two but you can probabbly guess which ones. This is more original art by George Perez plus some other pages I found while doing the research for this. Well, as I wrote in my first post on this series, I will try to keep the 23 pictures per post rule which means that in some posts the 23 pictures will include the original art AND the correponding color pages. In others not and this post is of the former variety. Speaking of which, issue 7 is one where I am going to post the full issue and since the pages from issue 6 are not enough for a full post and all the pages from issue 7 surpass the 23 pages by far I am including the first part from issue 7 here. The rest of the issue will probably be split up between our next post and the one after that. But now let´s continue with our story in progress.

It´s back to cult sirens with buxom brunette Adrienne Barbeau who celebrated her 76th birthday on the 11th of June and who has been in such cult movies like John Carpenter´s Escape From New York and The Fog and the first Swamp Thing adaption which I prefer to the second one.


I know that there are people who like the second one better because of the overall campy atmosphere and the better special effects but give me Adrienne Barbeau over Heather Locklear any day. Granted, they had Penthouse Pet of the Month Monique Gabrielle in the second one who catapulted herself into the top ranks of cult sirens with her performance in Emanuelle 5 but they didn´t give her much to do. Would it have hurt so much to have a scene where the two annoying boys we have to stand the whole movie peek at her naked ? Or at least let her wander around in her underwear or a bikini. What a blatant misuse of grade - a babe material.


Speaking of which, while Adrienne Barbeau appears in Creepshow her performance is sadly not as sexy as in Cannonball Run where she played one of the Lamborghini Babes and her main function was to show her deep cleavage as often as possible. Now that director knows his job.


Longtime readers know that one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .


But as much as I like to feature these squirtstorm guaranteeing sweaty skin flick sensations, born - for - porn leg spreading dicktamers, stripper pole polishing professionals and talented tittilating torrid teenage teasers I don´t always have the time, space or even necessary material to feature them properly and have to console myself with re - visiting them on the few occassions where I get to mention them or on their next birthday.


Now if you have seen Cannonball Run you will remember the hot waitress with the extra - large double whoppers in the opening scene whose name is not in the opening credits, in the end credits or on any internet page ( and believe me fella, I´ve looked ). Well, just recently I found a clip with some scenes of Farrah Fawcett from the movie and her scene is also in there. So far I just called her The Busenwunder Waitress but now I can tell you that her real name is Vickie Reigle. Now in Germany Vickie is not really a good name for a woman - just ask german singer Nikki who had to suffer a lot of dirty jokes because of her name ( what rhymes with " Nikki ? " ).


Adrienne Barbeau was destined for boob fame from the moment she began her career as a go go dancer for the mob and in the Off Broadway nudie musical Stag Movie thanks to her 36D - 25 - 36 measurements.

She had the biggest boobs on sitcom tv during the 70s when she played the daughter of Bea Arthur´s tit - ular firebrand on Maude where the small screen could barely contain her huge melons in such episodes like The New Housekeeper, Walter´s Ethics, Walter´s Crisis, The Slumlord, Carol´s Promotion, The Election, Maude´s Facelift but especially The Case of the Broken Punch Bowl and Maude´s Big Decision and I´ve never seen so much boner - inducing bouncing action on prime time tv as in Maude´s Musical.


As Adrienne Barbeau recalls : " What I didn´t know was that when I said my lines I was usually walking down a flight of stairs and no one was even listening to me. They were just watching my giant breasts precede me. " 

The ultra bosomy brunette was also cast in numerous made - for - tv films and guest appearances on cleavage - enhanced shows show as The Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Valentine Magic on Love Island as well as a very memorable braless dash on Battle of the Network Stars . In her biography Adrienne claims : " I actually thought CBS asked me to be on Battle of the Network Stars because they thought I was athletic. My husband clued me in : who cared if I won the race, as long as my tits bounced when I ran. "

The popularity of Barbeau´s 1978 cheesecake poster confirmed her status as a sex symbol. While reviewers have sometimes criticized her acting ability, Barbeau´s popularity stemmed partly from what critic Joe Bob Briggs referred to as the " two enormous talents on that woman " and her typecasting as a " tough broad ". Barbeau refused offers to appear topless in PLAYBOY, although she has appeared nude in High Society, films and Off Broadway plays. Despite her initial success, she said at the time that she thought of Hollywood as a " flesh market " and that she´d rather appear in films that " explore the human condition " and which " deal with issues ".


You can read more about Adrienne in this post which also touches on Brian Michael Bendis´s Superman and Swamp Thing - in comics, movies and tv.


Staying with DC Comics on June the 12th we had the anniversary of the late great Len Wein who also has one post on the blog dedicated to him.


When I wrote the post in 2016 Len Wein was still alive but I am glad I got to give props to one of the greats in his time. He has done everything, from writing classic moments in comic history like the first appearance of Wolverine or the new X - Men team for that matter ( people forget that he got the book started and then handed it over to Chris Claremont ), or the iconic Swamp Thing series with Bernie Wrightson. He also edited THE NEW TEEN TITANS by Marv Wolfman , George Perez and Romeo Tanghal.

Len Wein also co - created THE HUMAN TARGET together with Carmine Infantino . Christopher Chance´s first appearance was as a back up story in ACTION COMICS issue 41- with inks by Dick Giordano - which you can find in this post which is all about HUMAN TARGET in comicbooks and tv.


Next up we have comic master Jordi Bernet who turned 77 on June the 14th. I have written about the series he worked on like JONAH HEX or TORPEDO in various posts and in 2018 I wrote two posts : part one which contains the riskier artwork and part two which has all the stuff I would label under boys adventure. From all of his work the only album I still have is CLUSTER and that only because I had a copy in Spain. If I ever make it to a spanish comic shop - or manage to order some comics through amazon Spain or a spanish online comic shop - I hope I can find some TORPEDO hardcovers as well as some copies of his adult series CHICCA BANG BANG.


Although they will be missing the convention sketches I had in my copies.

Back in Germany I had some softcovers, some hardcovers, some floppies as well as the full collection of Jordi Bernet´s TORPEDO 1936 ( which is his best known comic series ) which were five pocket - sized hardcovers. In Spain all his stories were collected into one complete hardcover edition while the german edition had a lot of additional info and behind the scenes stuff. I almost bought the spanish edition but according to the reader reviews on amazon the printing and the binding is not so good.


Next we have a callback to my post on John Byrne´s AVENGERS run with Salma Hayek´s boobtastic appearance at the 2020 Golden Globe Awards.


According to internet sources the latin sex godess´ measurements are - all natural - 36E - 25 - 37 but here it looks to be much more. Anyway, at the moment Salma is married to a rich guy who just drowned her in expensive jewelery so you know what women really want. And you can find more pictures, videos and animated GIFs with Salma in my old cult siren posts .


From super well endowed latinas we come to another favorite subject of mine with 11 Forgotten Old School Superhero TV Shows although I have to mention that the term " superheroes " is used in the broadest sense here so they can include The Crow, Robocop and Highlander. But this list also includes 90s The Flash and Swamp Thing so I´m letting it slide this time.


Coming back to exotic sexbombs with titanic twin torpedoes, as much of a horny old pervert as I might be, even I can´t watch every tv show that is out there. Especially with all the stuff happening in real life right now - and I mean right now right now - and my time on the internet being severly limited because of performance issues ( I am talking about the laptop, get your mind out of the gutter ) it´s getting harder and harder to keep up with tv. Also with the whole pandemic thing, leaving Germany and having to get rid of most of my earthly belongings I tend to look for tv shows with more comedy than drama. I have enough drama in real life.


What I am trying to say with this longwinded segueway is that there are reasons why I never watched Orange Is The New Black. So yes, I have been living under a rock and thus I have never heard of dominican - american all natural 37E ( !!! ) - 24 - 36 blow up sex doll Jackie Cruz. How this ultimate born - for - porn bra - buster managed to not end up in adult movies and landed a gig on prime time tv is a miracle future generations must ponder.


After seeing a few interviews with her I am tempted to check out her show but I am not sure if she is allowed to strut her stuff on american tv.


Also I am still burned by Hinter Gittern - Der Frauenknast. Even though it was produced by the same geniuses who gave us the one - striptease - per - episode whack off bonanza called Die Rote Meile they managed to eliminate all of the things why guys watch Women Behind Bars movies while keeping all the stuff that guys fast forward through in these films. 


Speaking of tv shows with more comedy, we continue our series about Conan O´Brien´s trip to the nation that birthed k - pop from our last post.


Another callback to our lat post with former gymnast Katelyn Ohashi who certainly gets no complaints in the bedroom. The flexible femme fatale has no problems pounding pulsating horsecocks into submission with her skills.


I already posted Ozzy man´s second review of Katelyn Ohashi´s famous routine that forced millions of women around the globe to up the ante with their dicktaming skills. But I don´t think I posted the first review.


Hard as it may be ( pun intended ) it´s back to comicbooks with another unearthed gem of comicbook history from Comic Tropes : India´s first super hero who blatantly used DC Comics and Marvel Comics properties.


It has been ages since I posted a video with blonde XXL Busenwunder and real life Power Girl Oana Andoni from romanian tv station Pro TV because despite the rumors that she is still on tv I have not found any new clips.


But don´t fear, my faithful followers, I got your fix of globe trotting giant gazongas right here as a new big breasted Busenwunder is ready to be inducted into the hallowed halls of boob fame. It´s none other than Sonia Edde and like top heavy newscasting boob queen Eva Chaloupkova Sonia hails from the Czech Republic. Like with a lot of big breasted news women I could not find out Sonia Edde´s measurements so if anybody out there has some information on her please let me know in the comments below.


What I do know is that with her giant sized double airbags she probably worked her way through college as a stripper under the name Melanie Melons and in a perfect world she would have become a famous porn star.


While Sonia could have easily been the star in a Power Girl movie like the aforementioned Oana Andoni unlike Oana Andoni she did pose naked for the PLAYBOY. Although she did not do full frontal nudity. Anyway, with her XXL - sized twin torpedoes Sonia guarentees full customer satisfaction and usually when I induct a new addition to my ever growing list of the breast women on tv I do an animated GIF but since my laptop is on the Fritz I have to wait with doing that until I can get it fixed or buy a new one.


In the meantime you have to make do with the preview pictures of the videos which I think give you a good idea of her breast features especially the one for the last video and yes, she really is taking off her jacket and yes, she really is only wearing a black bra underneath it that does not leave much to the imagination. How, I wish Oana Andoni would have done something like that but I guess the most we got to see of Oana was the wardrobe malfunction where she wore a very transparent top and showed the audience more than she intended to . Now on the other side Oana Andoni was on the regular news which are more serious and she could not have pulled off a stunt like Sonia Edde even if she had wanted to. Now I can´t understand anything what is said in these clips but I am going to go out on a limb and say that the news show Sonia Edde is hosting is more of a tongue - in - cheek news show more like the czech version of The Daily Show. If John Stewart was a blonde blow up sex doll with giant chesticles.


We stay on the subject of hot sexbombs with Never Too Young To Die which besides John Stamos, KISS´s Gene Simmons, Bond for a day George Lazenby and Robert Englund also stars Prince blow up sex doll Vanity and the terrificly tittylating Tara Buckman who played the other Lamborghini babe beides the aforementioned Adrienne Barbeau in Cannonball Run.


It´s back to the small screen with another episode of Inside Of You featuring Smallville´s Lionel Luthor, the incomparable John Glover.


With the next video I am not sure if I have not posted this before but just in case I didn´t, here is the tv movie Dead Man´s Island from 1996 starring science fiction legend William Shatner, bodacious blonde 44D - 28 - 40 beach body Morgan Fairchild ( from FLAMINGO ROAD fame but she also appered on FLCON CREST and DALLAS ) and 40C - 24 - 38 cult siren Barbara Eden ( best known from I DREAM OF JEANNIE with Larry Hagman who later on became famous as J. R. Ewing on DALLAS ) but most importantly world famous r - rated 42D - 23 - 39 babe / 80s mega porn star Traci Lords

 

Fun fact : not only does the film count ex - porn star Traci Lords amongst its cast who appeared in two episodes of Married With Children it also has David Faustino who is best known as Bud Bundy from that iconic sitcom.


To Today´s generation Traci Lords is that hot blonde with the killer body who guest starred twice on Married with Children, ( that old tv sitcom Ed O´Neil used to do before Modern Family ) who used to be a porn star while guys from my " time period " knew her as the hot chick who had her boobs done and lied about her age to do porn with 16. Traci was one of the big stars during my teenage years because of her youthful looks, her titanic twin torpedoes and her penchant for oral stimulation especially the deepthroat blowjob sex techniques. Her soft, full lips were just made to be wrapped tightly around a rockhard erection and suck it without mercy until the lucky stiff squirts his brains out while screaming her name ( or something that is very similar to her last name ) at the top of his lungs.


Now you might think there is no way that Subzero can continue the topic of controversial boobs with a well known children´s movie like Walt Disney´s Fantasia but I remember a controversy because you could see some naked animated breasts in the Night On Bald Mountain segment.


As usual I tried to find out more but the only thing I could find were articles about the removal of the apparently very racist character called Sunflower. So if you have a copy of Fantasia check out if it´s the naked boobs or the non - naked boob version. Anyways, for those who never heard of Fantasia, it was released in 1940 as Walt Disney´s third animated feature film consisting of eight animated segments set to pieces of classical music. The soundtrack was recorded using muliple audio channels and reproduced with Fantasound, a pioneering sound system developed by Disney and RCA tht made Fantasia the first commercial film shown in stereo and a precursor to surround sound. The general idea was to mix it up every few years by including new segments with new ontemporary music and taking out older segments but because the costs were too high so the idea was abandoned. They only did it once if they did it at all.

There was also the idea to do a sequel but that plan also was scrapped.

You might think that with all the Marvel Studio money plus the money from Lucasfilm franchises like The Mandalorian Disney would finally get to it but it seems this is not a high priority. But what else is new ? I mean, with all the cash from the Marvel Studios Disney could sell the Marvel comicbooks for one dollar or less but instead their prices are constantly going up.


Closing things out we have one of my favorite bands and I have so many reasons to want to turn back the clock that I won´t go into details because if I did I would spend the rest of the week rolled up into a ball.


New to the blog ? Everything you need to know about TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN : top ten posts / more posts of interest / best of the best


Don´t worry about senility, when it hits you you won´t know it.

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