Yup, that cover looks like I feel and so far I haven´t been able to really get into the Christmas spirit. There were a lot of health problems in my family these last few weeks so I couldn´t even do some decent Christmas gift shopping. Thankfully I already had bought a few in advance but the ones I gave away on the Christmas dinner Yesterday were last minute - ish. I also couldn´t organize one of my famous BIG CHRISTMAS CONTESTS. I managed to compile all the free comicbooks I want to give away but I didn´t have the time to send them all to comicbook afficionados in need myself. And because the FANTASY STRONGHOLD comic shop here in Ludwigsburg has vanished without a trace I also can´t just dump them there. In any case, Christmas is already happening so it´s way too late to the BIG CHRISTMAS CONTEST now so I will have to wait until next year. What you don´t have to wait for next year is a selection of Christmas comic covers which range from the familiar to the weird. Enjoy and Merry Christmas to everyone !
To make sure I didn´t miss anybody over the holidays since I never get to make many posts during that time Today I went through the list but it seems there isn´t anybody on December the 21st. There are two cult siren birthdays from December the 22nd in my second post about Jack Kirby´s THOR issue 173 ( which includes the german black and white pages from HIT COMICS, original black and white pages and the color pages ) there is another birthday from December the 22nd in last year´s Christmas cover post but there is nothing important to add at the moment and I don´t have any videos that I could share. What I am going to share is the babe of the day which is none other than Joan Severance who celebrated her 61st birthday on December the 23rd and who finally got her cult siren entry last year ( which also contains another anniversary from that day ).
So far I had only mentioned Joan Severance as part of the cast of See No Evil Hear No Evil. The movie is not one of the better Gene Wilder movies, but it is still shown on tv and I guess it is mostly for the scene where Joan is topless in the shower. And I´m not saying naked because while Joan technically is naked in the scene we never get to see her lower body.
This MILF is a credit to model turned actresses everywhere. Why waste her statuesque, black - haired, high - assed beauty on getting married and raising kids somewhere back in your native Texas ? When her big acting break on network sensation Wiseguy failed to fire up an a - list career, the xxx - tra stacked sexpot promptly took her place at the head of the Bs.
Joan Severance graced the waves of late night programming with a body that just beckoned for some softcore action and made a staple of herself on premium cable movie channels beginning a creative partnership on Showtime's skintillating Red Shoe Diaries, where she was muff - baring muse to mentor Zalman King. King is the crown prince of skinsational erotic thrillers, and his expertise is epitomized in Lake Consequence .
Because you can´t do a post about Joan Severance without mentioning her best softcore movie Lake Consequence in which she plays a housewife whose sexual appetite gets ignited when she falls asleep in a worker´s trailer and embarks on a journey to debauchery and lots of wild sex.
Joan shined in an outdoor sex scene. She shined in an indoor sex scene. She shined wetly in a shower stall lesbo sex scene. Of course the real sexbomb of the movie is needy May Karasun who plays a living sex doll.
If she doesn´t look like a blow up doll come to life I don´t know. You want to push her against the wall and give it to her till your dick gives out.
Now I´m not so sure about Illicit Behaviour . It´s a crime story but it has been some time since I saw it and I couldn´t find reliable info on the web.
What is sure is that Jack Scalia plays her husband, a cop suspended for use of excessive force who takes his frustration out on her ( in the bedroom if he has half a brain ). Now either she turns to two other cops for help who then start slam - banging her brains out or she tricks her husband into killing her brother and then dicktames a guy from internal affairs to kill her husband. The thing with her brother is that when they were teenagers he started using his sister as his private blow up sex doll and she can´t get him to stop. So every time he´s in town he hammers Joan like a cheap prostitute just for old times sake - if she wants it or not. Naturally her hubby´s not too thrilled that her brother is wearing out his favorite sextoy and kills him. I think she then tries to get the insurance money for her husband ( if it´s the movie where she gets double teamed by the cops she asked for help ) or the insurance money and the inheritance.
Of course I have to mention that Joan starred in two non comic related movies as a superheroine namely in Black Scorpion ( 1995 ) and Black Scorpion II : Aftershock ( 1997 ) two tv productions that showed why superheroes who are not based on actual comic books suck in most cases.
Longtime readers know that one of my pet pevees on this blog is celebrating all the brave actresses who turn insufferable dreck into bearable entertainment by taking their clothes off or at least show what their Mama gave them and who don´t get enough recognition for that .
So I have to mention the one redeeming quality of Black Scorpion II : Aftershock : sexbomb Laura Herring who delivers one of the breast scenes of the movie . If she was my secretary I wound pound her body 24 / 7.
Back to Black Scorpion, both movies still were successful enough - after running on Showtime they naturally made more money in video sales - that they turned it into a tv series. Roger Corman produced the show and used the same plot on all episodes : some costumed bad guy wants to destroy Angel City until Black Scorpion stops him. There are between one and three hot pursuits ( always with lots of explosions ) and following the old Andy Sidaris formula all female roles are played by playmates like Patricia Ford, nubian sex goddess Traci Banghim , Lisa Boyle ( 17 in the series ), Athena Massey or the always present 90s soft sex legend Shannon Whirry .
Coming back to the Black Scorpion tv series for the fans of comics there are also guest appearances by Adam West, Sam Jones or Lou Ferrigno.
Since Joan Severance was not interested in reprising her role of Black Scorpion Roger Corman tried to get Julie Strain but it seems the tv guys knew all of her naughty movies ( who would have thought ) so the former Miss Kansas Michelle Lintel was cast who didn´t have Julie Strain´s box office pull - or her measurements - but who seems much more sympatico.
Sexbomb Julie Strain was in most erotic movies from that time and she appeared in a lot of Andy Sidaris movies but since we had Wendy Hamilton in Yesterday´s post - about issue one of CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS - we had all the Andy Sidaris links in that post so I will try to keep it short here.
Julie Strain debuted in FIT TO KILL, where she played the evil Blue Steele, then she portrayed bad girl Jewel Panther in ENEMY GOLD and bad girl Black Widow in THE DALLAS CONNECTION . The movie is also known under the title DEADWORKS and features two sexbombs who were in a few of Andy Sidaris´ later movies : Julie Strain and Julie K. Smith a.k.a. Julie & Julie the double rack attack. There are two great scenes ( among others ) in DALLAS CONNECTION : in the first one Julie Strain is tying a guy to a chair and stripping to make him ultrahorny - before killing the poor guy.
And because she wanted a recurring role in DAY OF THE WARRIOR and RETURN TO SAVAGE BEACH Julie Strain became federal agent Willow Black.
And for those that moan about me bringing up Julie Strain in a comicbook blog and think it is only because of her connection to Andy Sidaris movies I want to mention that the 41D Penthouse Pet Of The Year 1993 not only starred in over 100 movies, she was also married to Kevin Eastman who created the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES with Peter Laird and was Editor in Chief of HEAVY METAL. Plus she was the inspiration for the main character in the 2000 animated HEAVY METAL movie sequel F.A.K.K. 2.
This is a video I had intended for another Andy Sidaris re - post since both Julie Strain and Julie K. Smith appear but the quality is not that good so I am going to include the first part - which has much better quality in any upcoming Andy Sidaris posts. That said I really wish this one was in better quality because besides the aforementioned Julies this also has a third sexbomb. By the way, there is a scene in this movie where Julie K. Smith uses her magical powers - at least that is what they want to make us believe - to enthrall a guy, make him forget what he came to do and then pour gasoline over himself and light it. Now while that is horrible it is not really magic. Because in the scene Julie K. Smith dangles her big boobs - in a tight leather top - into his face while she is " using her magic powers ".
And I have to say that if she shoved her double d´s into my face I would also completely forget whatever I was doing and do whatever she tells me because all my blood is not in my brain anymore. That´s not magic - that´s just the power of perfect breasts to turn strong men into drooling idiots.
And I just wrote a spin - off post with all the usual links to Janet Jones Gretzky and real live Power Girl Leslie Easterbrook who had the most famous scene in Police Academy 4 - Citizens on Patrol in which she emerges from a pool in a wet t - shirt . And while the obligatory Andy Sidaris actresses / playmates / sexbombs like Roberta Vasquez , Ava Cadell , brunette Cynthia Brimhall, Dona Speir , Julie Strain , Shae Marks , Julie K. Smith and Samantha Phillips are mentioned the main part is about blonde brabuster Monique Sluyter and the obligatory plethora of Tutti Frutti girls .
Now usually I just include a short part with them in the posts but this time I did a somewhat longer version so I could include all the new download links I found while writing this post. I just recently included a whole slew of new ones but those are just for compilation and mixes while these new ones are not only for entire episodes - which are always ultra rare - but for german episodes which are even rarer . Some of them even include my favorite Tutti Frutti girl ( whom you can see just below ).
Speaking of my favorite Tutti Frutti girl, she would have been right at home as one of the bootyshaking sexbombs in Massive Töne´s Cruisen ( although she would be wearing more clothes than on Tutti Frutti ).
Speaking of big Christmas balls, it´s been ages since I posted a video with Tara Babcock. So fitting for the season here she is sporting a Christmas corset and her 36E jingle bells will surely get you in the Christmas mood.
Speaking of the season to be jolly, I am re - posting The Star Wars Holiday TV Special. I have posted this before and it always gets taken down by George Lucas henchmen but thankfully there are more than enough persistent guys who upload it again. At this point I am not sure what is cringier to watch : this or the latest Star Wars movies. What has a cringe factor of zero is The Mandalorian and I hope we get a second season.
Speaking of hope, the first Star Wars movie A New Hope ( for me it will always be just Star Wars ) underwent a few changes before it hit movie theaters and what some people may not be aware of is that there actually exists a comic which adapts the first draft of the science fiction classic.
Speaking of alternate versions, Today´s movie video is Brandon´s cult movie review of the turkish Star Wars knock - off ( Döner Wars ? ).
I´m all out of Star Wars cartoons to post so here is another adaption of Charles Dicken´s A Christmas Carol, this one is from 1971. Sorry, but I couldn´t find it in better quality. Merry Christmas, Hanukah etc everyone !
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