TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN: This means war Wednesday with Joe Kubert

Today we have an unscheduled tribute for one of the masters not only of comicbook art but of art in general as we pay homage to Joe Kubert.

As I said, this post was not planned and as has become a habit I was looking for something completely different but somehow I ended up with a lot of incredible original Joe Kubert art - once again provided by the fine folks at HERITAGE AUCTIONS - and since my laptop keeps telling me that my OneDrive is full on a daily basis and I have only done two Joe Kubert spotlight posts I decided it's about time to complete the trilogy.

Now as should be apparent from the title the original art in this post is all from the war comicbooks Joe Kubert worked on respectably OUR ARMY AT WAR and STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES including issue 137 of STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES with the famous Land That Time Forgot story that is a favourite amongst fans, critics and creators alike and has therefore been revisited multiple times in the past including Darwyn Cooke's brilliant love letter to the DC universe DC : THE NEW FRONTIER.

rock and a war place

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the blueprint for enemy mine with dennis quaid

toshiro mifune double feature for some odd reason all movies in english that I include in this post get deleted

hogans heroes I never watched many episodes of the show since I never got the " let's poke fun at how ridiculous the horros of World War II were " humour the only exception to that was the comic The Stormtroopers - How Funny Was Daddy's Wehrmacht " which was required reading during my military service but the series was not so much poking fun at the german military machine during the second World War and more showing how little really has changed since then

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indiana jones in the army

hitler ruined the german language

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Coming back to the military, I thought about which episodes from tv shows I could add that were about the army or at least guys in uniform and it probably won't surprise any of my longtime followers that the first thing that came to my mind was the 4th episode from the 3rd season of The Fall Guy called Baker's Dozen since that was the first time viewers got to see 80s Power Girl Markie Post's 42C - 22 - 36 measurements in a bonerinducing bikini that didn't really leave much to the imagination.

In The Fall Guy Colt Seavers always tried to avoid Terri Michaels and the reason they gave was that the jobs she got him turned out to be more dangerous than she made them look. But if my bail bonds contractor was a walking sex machine like Markie Post with a fantastic bikini figure and long legs for miles up to her chin I would have taken every job she had.

Of course I would have waited until she was really desperate so I could get a higher price and I would insist that instead of paying in cash she would have to work it off in naturals. In the show Colt Seavers has an outdoor bathtub and I would have ended the episode with Colt using Terri as his personal blow up sex doll in the bathtub while Terri spreads her legs apart wider than a fillipino hooker with her rent money due.

I know that such a scene probably would not have passed the tv censors but if it would have been too much to show full frontal nudity with her they could have shown her back while she was sliding up and down on Colt´s hard boner. Or they could have shown Colt´s back so you could see Markie legs going high in the air and then opening up and slowly coming down on both sides of Colt´s back ending in a perfect split.

Then the camera could switch to the other side and the audience would see Markie´s back as she slowly takes her bikini top off. While she does the splits Terri would then press her naked breasts against Colt´s nude chest which would give us a great opportunity to show a lot of sideboob.

At this point Markie would start to really dicktame Lee Majors bending her torso all the way backwards and the camera would film her from above so we get to see her completely naked upper half. Normally you would see her nude breasts and nippels but I would have Colt grab Terri´s hooters and squeeze them. I don´t think I'd have had to convince Lee Majors to shoot the scene while I definitely would gotten Markie drunk.

The second episode where Markie Post appeared in a bikini was the 8th episode from season 3 called Inside Outside and we have Terri Michaels hitting the beach in an erection guaranteeing pink bikini that promptly gets the attention of a young and potent stud who immediately realizes that this ultimate men milking machine is way above the sort of buxom college bimbos he usually uses to become his private blow up sex dolls.

A high class sex machine like Terri with a pornstar body that doesn't quit can dicktame even the most well endowed breeding stallions and you can easily wear your dick out on such a deepthroat nympho. So he starts hitting on Terri who turns down all of his advances. Not because the idea of draining such a potent guy at the height of his sexual ability dry until the last drop is not a tempting idea - far from it as she is already going through all the positions she will use to milk him dry in her mind - but because as a lawyer she knows the sentence she faces for completely dicktaming a possible minor even if it happens with his express consent.

Anyway, they don't have time to get any further because when Terri goes for a swim she is immediately abducted by criminals who want to use her - as leverage against Colt Seavers that is. Terri is held hostage for the rest of the episode and sadly they make her put on a bathrobe. Although they also don't let her take off the bikini. Anyway, if it was me who had kidnapped Terri she would be lucky if I let her keep on the bikini briefs.

Although they probably would have to let her wear the bikini top to appease the tv censors. That's probably also the reason why one of the guys hates women and the other one is too interested in convincing Colt Seavers not to testify to do anything with Terri. I mean, realistically if two guys had an absolute Busenwunder that looks like sexy Markie Post captive for two days ( ! ) they would spend the first day taking turns at drilling each orifice of her body and the second day they would be tag - teaming her 24/7. Now for the longest time I couldn't see the episode and if I did I never remembered the ending so I made up one for me.

In it Terri Michaels had learned through her ordeal that life is too short to let opportunities slip by. So after the whole deal is over she uses her contacts as a lawyer to track down the young stud who tried to hit on her and goes to the bar where all the college boys go to in her best " fuck me " dress that shows off every inch of her spectacular body. All of his peers are speechless - especially when she leaves with him to a five star luxury hotel at a secret location where she drags him to a special soundproof bedroom so nobody can hear him screaming at the top of his lungs when she makes him squirt like a fire hose for the next two weeks.

And Markie Post could have drawn from her own life experience for that scene since she did something similar to get a bigger part on the show.

Markie Post played bail bonds contractor Terri Michaels ( who replaced previous bail bonds contractor Samantha Jack played by Jo Ann Pflug ) beginning with Season 2 and at the beginning she played a minor role .

But Markie Post knew that she was destined to super stardom, so when the opportunity arose that one of the producers of the show who was a bit smitten with Markie appeared on the set she managed to set up a few meetings - just to discuss her role of course. Even though he claimed to be happily married the business meetings turned into private meetings which were quickly relocated to a secret no - tell motel where Markie slipped very potent illegal performance enhancing drugs into his drink.

Once the drugs had taken effect and the guy got a huge erection three times as big as usual Markie gave his pulsating boner a double breasted deepthroat massage until his member was hard enough to cut diamonds.

When he started to howl like a werewolf Markie knew she had him in her pocket and used her relentless body and her natural ability to spread her legs better than a fillipino hooker to give the lucky guy who was hung like a horse a Kama Sutra crash course with more than the twenty three positions in a one night stand pumping his cock like a breeding stallion.

Nobody knows which dickdraining techniques she used to milk him dry but in a recently discovered diary Markie Post had stated " just thinking about what I had to do in that motel room makes me sick and thankfully no one knows we fucked because if word ever got out to which sexual practices I submitted him I could get arrested in over fourteen states ".

After Markie had successfully dicktamed the guy six ways to Sunday during these weekend long squirt marathons he was only too eager to convince the rest of the guys in charge what a complete waste it would be to have Markie on the cast without letting her " show off what her Mama gave her " like they say and the rest is 80s tv history. So Markie got more involved in the stories and basically stole the scene from Heather Thomas as soon as Markie donned a bikini ( mainly in season three ).

Speaking of which, the last and final episode where Markie Post appears wearing a bikini ( at least to my knowledge please let me know in the comments below if you know otherwise ) is episode 21 from season 3 called Undersea Odyssey which sadly hasn't gotten the 4k treatment yet.

But I have posted the regular version on the blog before so my regulars have already seen it. And damn, Markie Post seems to enjoy showing off what must have been one of the best set of legs on tv at that time. Like the old saying goes : my legs are my best friends ( especially when guys try to assault me ) but even the best friends must part sooner or later.

80s Power Girl Markie Post is probably the best known cult siren on the blog because not only have I done many re - posts of her original post .

I also keep mentioning her in other posts and her original post is in a Top Ten Posts widget that appears on every post. Since I have done so many different versions it is not so tragic that I did not do a re - post the last years even though I did the last version of her cult siren entry in 2016 .

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the remake of the movie that inspired the stuff from 1988 featuring erika eleniak

DON'T HASSLE THE HOFF : BANGING BUSTY BAYWATCH BITCHES !

Well, just six months ago I wrote a lengthy part about all things David Hasselhoff - from 1985's tv movie Terror At London Bridge ( where David co - starred with 40D - 25 - 36 Busenwunder Adrienne Barbeau ) to his portrayal of the OG white Nick Fury in Nick Fury : Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. ( where he appeared alongside brunette 40C - 25 - 35 oral sex addict Lisa " Lucky Lips " Rinna and blonde 38B - 24 - 35 bikini beachbody Sandra Hess ) and everything in - between like the obligatory KNIGHT RIDER video, an episode of Inside Of You with sexy 38B - 24 - 33 cult siren Angie Harmon who wanted to play She - Hulk in a movie and whose acting career was jumpstarted by David Hasselhoff who insisted that she auditioned for the female lead role in BAYWATCH NIGHTS after meeting her on a flight plus the mandatory part about BAYWATCH with a special spotlight on afro - american 40D - 22 - 32 aphrodite Traci Bingham - in the bonus section of my spotlight for Miss Bikini Korea 2019 contest winner Lim So Young .

But for some reason - was it laziness, foresight, dormant ESP or divine intervention - I didn't include the usual part about Erika Eleniak. Man, BAYWATCH really was big in the 90s and THE ultimate babe tv show.

No kidding. No other tv show had more actresses who were featured in PLAYBOY or playmates. If there was a hot babe during the time the show was produced you can bet that she guest starred in one of the episodes.

David Hasselhoff is my hero for putting hot babes like nubian sex goddess Traci Banghim on prime time television even though he never took them up on various casting couch sex offers ( at least that´s what he says ).

Well, if that´s true he was probably the only one who didn´t get any as buxom 44E - 22 - 34 blonde Pamela Anderson paints a different picture of the set of BAYWATCH in an article from 2003 . Pamela admitted having steamy sex liaisons with all of her hunky lifeguard co - stars and often enjoyed some SEXtra - curricular activities with her cast mates in their trailers." I dicktamed all male cast members at least once. Heck, with the ultimate porn star body I had back then I could have any man and I used my fellow co - star David Chokachi like a breeding stallion during the insemination season. I vented all my nymphomanic deepthroat urges on him and literally turned him into a sex freak. Just ask nymfo Carmen Elektra, whom he used as his personal blow up sex doll during her short tenure on BAYWATCH. But everybody was having sex behind the trailers, in the trailers, around the trailers. " Colleague Geena Lee Nolin adds the cast's motto was " If the trailer's rocking, don't come a - knocking. "

One of the most prominent sexbombs on this blog is without any doubt Erika Eleniak who boobed out extremely after she left BAYWATCH much to the chagrin of the show´s producers. So it´s no surprise that I re - posted her original cult siren entry in 2015 , in 2016 and also in 2018 .

DID STEVEN SEAGAL USE ERIKA ELENIAK LIKE A BLOW UP SEX DOLL ?

People always wondered if there was a rivalry between Erika Eleniak and Pamela Anderson and if that was the reason Erika Eleniak left that show.

There are two different versions of the story but I think this article from Jake Davis on FETCH SPORT - which also takes an in depth look at Erika Eleniak´s life and career - is closest to the truth. According to Pamela Anderson when she auditioned for the role of Jordan Tate Steven Seagal wanted to put her bonerinducing body to the test on the casting couch.

" When he saw me rehearsing the part where Jordan comes out of the cake he insisted on me giving him a personal strip show. He changed my costume to two strings of fabric thinner than shoe laces and after he got an erection in his pants he made me strip naked and wanted to act out a sex scene with me that was not in the script. And when I didn´t want to do it he told me that the next girl would get the role instead. "

" I refused but Steven Seagal convinced Erika Eleniak to let him use her as his personal blow up sex doll during the shooting of the movie. He fucked her brains out six ways to Sunday. That´s how she got the role."

Erika Eleniak for her part denies these wild sex orgies ever happened.

" I learned a lot on the shoot watching Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey work. It was a hard shoot and I spent many hours in Steven´s trailer. Yes, he was merciless drilling me but not during sweaty fuck marathons that lasted all night long where he relentlessly pounded every orifice of my body. We were just rehearsing scenes not sex scenes that were more explicit than porn movies. All these rumors that Steven tried to break me in with his giant member are just a product of Pamela Anderson´s sick fantasy. But it still was an incredible learning experience for me. "

Now this is a case of a lot of " she said / she said " and I don´t know who tells the truth and who is lying. So I am just going to list a few important facts and let my readers come to their own conclusion. Fact number one : various female co stars of Steven Seagal like Brenda Bakke have gone on record that he tried to use his position to get them to assume the position. Fact number two : it has been 95 percent confirmed that 90s erotic sexsation Shannon Whirry - who later became famous for doing it for real with her male co - stars on camera like in her movie Ringer - had to go through all of the positions for her debut role in Out For Justice.

Fact number three : Pamela Anderson has never denied that she partook in the behind the scenes BAYWATCH fuck marathons so it would be weird that she would lie where UNDER SIEGE is concerned but openly admit that she tested every male BAYWATCH cast member's dick at least once.

Fact number four : Erika also never denied to have participated in the uninhibited BAYWATCH boning marathons where all the guys took turns at pounding her into submission until she deepthroated Billy Warlock into becumming her willing sex slave with whom she also had a relationship in real life. Fact number five : Erika Eleniak not only was the Playmate Of The Month July in 1989 she also enhanced her boobs to the size of two giant twin torpedoes to get the 34C - 24 - 32 measurements that left horny viewers drooling and gave all her male co - stars giant erections.

Fact number six : Steven Seagal himself put the role of Jordan Tate into the script of UNDER SIEGE. Fact number seven : Gary Busey went on record that Steven Seagal was extremely determined to have explicit sex with Erika and that he constantly tried to add a love scene to the script so he could really get down and dirty. Whenever Gary was on the set he took her under his wing but he wasn´t always there to protect Erika.

Speaking of the bra busting BAYWATCH bimbos, among all the things I had to sell or give away to move to Spain were not only the seasons of Baywatch with Carmen Electra but also Baywatch - Hawaiian Wedding .

Which was painful because I could not re - watch it and Carmen hula dancing with a coconut bra alone is worth the price of admission.

I still have not given up on a Yaya Han Power Girl coconut bra cosplay ( with the tiniest coconut shells you can find although compared to her huge 44D oppai all coconut shells look small no matter how big they are ) as she has already shown that she does a terrific Power Girl cosplay and she has no problem filling out the obligatory magical cleavage window.

As for Erika Eleniak, she appeared in a few movies like BEVERLY HILL BILLIES, CHASERS ( where she had some pretty hot scenes ) , THE OPPONENT, STRIKE FORCE a.k.a. THE LIBRARIANS and BORDELLO OF BLOOD ( which got censored beyond recognition in Germany ) but Erika never achieved the level of success Pamela Anderson did. Not even Traci Bingham managed that who is built like a porn star for crying out loud !

Then there is the tv movie Ed McBain´s 87th Precinct : Heatwave with Erika Eleniak as Detective Eileen Burke. I think I might have mentioned it before but with my unreliable memory I wanted to include it in this post if I didn´t. I think the series is a remake of an old black and white show .

During a heatwave the police are trying to catch a serial rapist who is working his way through the female populace and because Erika Eleniak is a walking wet sex dream her two - male - partners decide in true chauvinist fashion to use her as bait since she doesn´t let them bang her.

The good news is that the trap is successful at catching the criminal´s attention because who could resist Erika Eleniak´s banging hardbody ?

Sex offender or not. The bad news is that while Eileen´s partner are on a wild goose chase through the city the perverted perp pounds her into submission - not with his fists but his pulsating penis, penetrating the prolific playmate in a plethora of pornographic positions at his pleasure.

Naturally her partners are back when everything is over and because she is ashamed that she let a sex criminal get the drop on her like a rookie despite her police training and she let herself get raped she acts as if nothing happened ( plus if she admits what he did to her she would be taken off the case and could not get revenge ) making matters worse.

ALL DAVID WANTS TO DO IS ZOOM ZOOM ON ERIKA'S BOOM BOOMS !

I am not 100 percent sure that David Hasselhoff didn't get it on with his female co - stars because while he always insisted that he never agreed to the casting couch sex offers he got from the girls that does not mean that he never had sex with them once they were a part of BAYWATCH.

There are also insiders who claim that during the first year of the show the crew surprised David Hasselhoff with a special birthday gift : the mystery girl. This was a female cast member wearing only long black leather boots, long black leather gloves, a Robin style domino mask and a black dog collar and leash - for when things get intense - whom David would take for a test drive in his trailer before guessing her identity.

This soon became an annual birthday tradition and when it was Erika Eleniak's turn to spread her legs like a fillipino hooker she could not say no even though she was already slam - banging co - star Billy Warlock like a breeding stallion. It is not know if David recognized her right away or had any idea that it was Erika Eleniak but apart from Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson and Traci Bingham ( whom he turned into his nubian blow up sex doll and sexually assaulted on a daily basis ) this was the only time that he took five attempts to guess the mystery girls identity.

As for Erika Eleniak's experience it seems the combination of sex drugs and alcohol wiped her memory because when she was later asked by a girl what she remembered from the party she said that she must have blacked out after one of the guys gave her a drink - she suspected it may have been spiked - and that somebody must have had one hell of a time wearing his dick out because she could not walk for a week afterwards.

Thankfully her boss David Hasselhoff was very lenient in that regard and gave her plenty of time to recuperate even though she had to grant him a few sexual favours for that. Which strangely enough caused her a few flashbacks of getting her brain slam - banged out six ways to Sunday.

And for more on baywatchable babes like Erika Eleniak ( who is of course most famous for her incredibly steamy striptease in UNDER SIEGE ), Krista Allen ( best remembered for getting her freak on as french blow up sex doll EMANUELLE in 8 made for tv movies ) or natural born go go dancer Carmen Elektra check out my latest BAYWATCH SPIN - OFF POSTS.

speaking of giving head

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I'm not even trying to make a funny segueway to the next busty blonde bombshells who has caused erections around the world. It's somebody I have not mentioned in a while, none other than mega MILF Christina Aguilera a.k.a. XXXtina Arschguilera in Germany - for obviASS reasons.

Aside from having a great voice Christina also has a booming body which was always popping out of her clothes exposing some great cleavage long before she cranked it up to the max when her titanic twin torpedoes just exploded due to her pregnancy. The yellow press changed her nickname from XXXtina Aguilera to XXLtina Aguilera thanks her giant 44E double airbags which were in everybody´s mouths ( of course just figuratively ).

The whole world was flooded with a veritable plethora of hot pictures of the blonde Busenwunder and I had to do two posts on my old boobblog to fit them all in. It´s a real shame the überinflated cult siren did not use the opportunity to shoot hot music videos with her giant - sized melons.

She could have believable played Power Girl and she would not have had a problem filling out the magical boob window with her huge milkshakes.

Christina Aguilera is one of my all time sex phantasies so it may strike some readers as strange that I haven´t done an entry for her in the cult siren hall of fame since she has earned that in spades - not only because of her boner inducing pregnancy boobs - but all her sexy pictures, music videos and live appearances before this and since. But you have to keep in mind that with a birthday that close to the holiday season - which for me is always extra busy - it may take a while before I can cum to that.

I have to admit I am not up to date with Christina Aguilera. Like so many others it is difficult to keep up now that cult sirens are not such a high priority on the blog. I mean they are still an integral part of what I like to call " the fun section " and in fact often seem to dominate the posts so much that you might get the impression they have taken over but the number of pure cult siren posts or re - posts has gone down drastically.

this was a line I enjoyed and even though I had most of the issues I got the omnibus because it was sold dirt cheap

samantha got back

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yep I also thought I was done with serbian living blow up sex doll dara bubamara but then I came across a few more videos of hers - including the one where she is wearing the bonerinducing Marilyn Monroe lookalike dress where her giant boobs almost pop out that alone makes her a prime candidate for my currently discontinued SEARCH FOR POWER GIRL series so here is another top 5 of her breast music videos

coming back to the topic of oral sex it is difficult enough to find an episode without age restriction

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Now I don't think my brother reads my blog but just in case that he does I wanted to include a video for him. Isn't it funny how some tv shows can become a big part of your life but once they are over you do not think much about them ? But once you hear the title music you are back again at that time period. For me one of these iconic shows was definitely Midnight Caller ( translated as Nighthawk in Germany because that was the nome de plume of the main character in the show ) with Gary Cole.

It's funny Gary Cole has been the lead in two of my favourite tv shows of all times, Midnight Caller and American Gothic with brunette 38B - 25 - 35 MILF brabuster Brenda Bakke whom I mentioned earlier as one of the actresses who has gone on record that Steven Seagal tried to get her to assume the position - or many positions so to speak. And I don't want to condone this kind of behaviour in any way but I also cannot blame him.

If I would have been in his place and had the kind of influence to get an ultimate men milking machine like Brenda Bakke to spread her legs like a fillipino hooker I don't know what kind of things I would have done.

Coming back to Gary Cole, he has done a lot of voice acting and besides being Kim Possible's Dad and Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law he has lent his talents to animated DC Comics properties like Batman Of The Future, Batman : Under The Red Hood or Justice League bringing such diverse characters like Harvey Dent a. k. a. Two Face, Commissioner Gordon, Black Adam or Jim Corrigan a. k. a. The Spectre to life, no pun intended.