As usual first I don´t have any Bob Oksner material and now I have too much. If you have read this BLACK AND WHITE : MISTER MIRACLE post from 2018 you know that I planned to do some follow up post but that never happened. Why ? Well, for one I didn´t have the time but as I said I couldn´t remember where I put the folder. Now that that´s out of the way I still have the problem what to choose. So since this is just a spin - off post and not a full blown birthday post with all the bells and whistles you won´t find any material from ANGEL AND THE APE since I only have complete issues and I don´t want to break them apart. Also I could not put much material from other comicbooks Bob Oksner worked on here.
And because I want to showcase as much different series as I can in this post - since it has been one year without any new Bob Oksner posts - there also are no MARY MARVEL stories. With the rest of the material I have been luckier since there were issues where I only had saved a few pages. Of course the biggest part of this post is about Superman and Supergirl ( you did see the name of this blog, right ? ) but I have also included some stuff from other series like SHAZAM, STANLEY AND HIS MONSTER, SERGEANT BILKO, DOBIE GILLIS and LEAVE IT TO BINKY.
Now for those of you who never heard of Bob Oksner you can check out the post I linked to above since I have written about him at length there ( I really should have given him his own post ). I could copy paste some of what I have written here but I don´t want to repeat myself and bore my longtime readers. But now without any further ado let´s get to some new Bob Oksner material and I hope we can continue this topic sooner than next year. And I don´t have to change too much material around. Enjoy !
We continue our birthday list on October the 7th and we bring on the big guns with full bodied Fitness Championship and John Sherman Classic Bodybuilding Figure ( and what a figure it is : 34G !!! - 27 - 34 ) winner Celeste Bonin a.k.a. Celeste Braun who celebrated her 33rd birthday.
Now the name sure doesn´t sound familiar and that´s because she looked really different when she wrestled in the WWE under the name of Kaitlyn.
I know ! That´s what I said. What the heck ? It´s like we only got the kid´s version of this hot sexbomb. Leave it to Vince McMahon to screw you over without you even knowing it. I bet she would have had a lot more fans if she wrestled with her natural look. Anyway, as always the internet makes up for that. These are the videos with the best quality I could find.
WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS or ANDERE LANDERS, ANDERE TITTEN
We are staying with sexbombs who know how to squeeze their big talents and who would have made a fortune working the stripper pole with Judy Landers who together with her sister Audrey Landers was one of the hottest commodities of that 80s and who turned 61 on October the 7th.
Audrey is best known as Afton Cooper on Dallas which featured just a plethora of babes like Stacy Sanchez, Michelle Johnson, Priscilla Presley, Coleen Camp, Charlene Tilton, Deborah Shelton, Morgan Fairchild, Barbara Carrera, Tracy Scoggins, Claudia Christian, Lesley Anne - Down, Victoria Principal or Janine Turner . Still hot Audrey stood one cut above the rest.
Before the Hilton sisters, Mother Nature blessed us with the stunning Landers sisters, and if you were a teen in the 1980s, the only crack you were on was the roughly twelve inches of cleavage shared between Judy Landers and her sister Audrey. They helped keep the boob in " boob tube " for over a decade, with appearances on nearly every hit tv show requiring a dyed - in - the - scalp blonde with the breast - busting bikini to match.
WHEN IN ROME DO AS ROMANS II : AUDREY LANDERS, JUDY`S TITTEN
The 80s gave us a lot of the Landers sisters, mostly on the small screen, where they were often fashioned in as little clothing as possible and even less dialogue. It's hard to imagine though, or it's hard when you imagine, just how famous older sister Audrey Landers became playing the perennial bubbly blonde for our perpetually perky peckers. The sexbombs dazzled us with their own brand of twin magic long before the Bellas arrived on the scene and I must confess I prefer their version of it since here we got two sexbombs for the price of one while Bree is just a poor version of Nikki since she got her boobs inflated to pornstarsize. But back to the Landers.
Both of these blow up sex dolls would have been perfect in a Little Annie Fanny movie since with their perfectly shaped breasts, butts that won´t quit, legs almost up to their chins plus their lean and fit tireless bodies they were born for porn and back in the 80s they were the hottest blonde double d combo everybody fantasized about as two thirds of a sandwich.
AUDREY AND JUDY : BORN FOR PORN ? A PLAYBOY SHOOTING BACKFIRES
In real life neither of them were but they clearly were unaware of the general public´s perception of them as the ultimate sex symbols. Proof of that is the fact that they did a very tasteful but non - nude ( and non - paying, so thanks for that ) PLAYBOY pictorial for publicity reasons only.
They thought it would help the direction of their career and that the roles they would be offered would change from cheerleaders to more mature roles. Of course the incredibly sexy pictures had just the opposite effect since a lot of people had not actually seen the pictorial and just assumed they had done nudity and so all of the roles they were offered had nudity.
Like I said, for two such incredible sexbombs it´s astounding that they managed to life a life without sex scandals and they are both married and have two kids, Audrey has twin sons and Judy has two daughters. There have been a few attempts to do a reality show with the sisters but their everyday life turned out to be too boring for the networks and since they refused to spice it up to get more viewers nothing ever came out of it.
There was more about the Landers sisters in a recent post but because that part got longer and longer I gave them their own cult siren entry .
We are skipping the rest of the birthdays from October the 7th but there is a longer list in my FLASH FRIDAY : RACE AGAINST TIME - PART 4 post .
From the Landers sisters we come to another dynamic duo of buxom blondes who sing and while Judy and Audrey did only a somewhat disrobed but ultimately non nude pictorial Daniela Haak and Judith Hildebrandt from famous 90s eurodance project Mister President Mister had no such qualms and went full frontal when they bared everything within the pages of the german PLAYBOY magazine. Especially Daniela Haak was quite the natural since her hardbody was practically built for this.
To give you an idea of how popular they were in Germany at that time : not only were they inside in a raunchy nude pictorial, they also graced the cover of the June issue in 1998 which was the first time that somebody else than the Playmate Of The Year was pictured on a June cover. Ever.
They had hits like I´ll Follow The Sun , Up´n Away or Coco Jambo and had one gold album, one platinum album and one that went gold and double platinum, two gold singles and one that won silver, triple gold and double platinum. Now as with most eurodance acts a big part of their success was the way they dressed which included a lot of wonder bras ( which had their high point in the 90s ) and not much more clothing as they showed in their sexually charged live performances or on the talk show circuit like during their famous appearance on the Harald Schmidt Show back in 1998 .
That is a video I bookmarked years ago but because I never had the opportunity to include it in a post I held onto it. But now that I not only have found some of their PLAYBOY pictures - in good quality I might add - but also a download link for their late night appearance above I just had to put it on the blog fast because those things get deleted rather quickly.
Speaking about things I held onto for years, visitors of TALES FROM THE KRYPTONIAN who don´t wait until the posts are finished and check in numerous times during its completion might have noticed that the following part used to look completely different in the previous version.
That´s because I found the part below in the draft folder. Over the years I have been collecting a lot of stuff about Bayonetta and I DID go to all the work of collecting material and then putting it into a post. But then I had to cut the part with Bayonetta from the post - and I didn´t even get to actually write it - and put it into the draft folder to add it to the next post. But as usual all those life things happened and then there was no space in the next post and the next post and in the end it got lost.
Or not since here things are never forgotten, only postponed. Anyway, since this post was planned but then delayed I thought it would be fitting to include it. If I remember correctly the post where I originally wanted to post this went online in October and I also don´t want to wait any longer.
I have to thank the guys from Teens React for bringing her to my attention ( it´s long overdue that I post another video from that channel ) but I have to confess that I am not that knowledgeable about her or the game.
And while there are some people who see Bayonetta as unapologetically feminine, sexual and confident others think she is over - sexualised.
According to some her rise to fame was brought about by the unique and devilishly amazing hack - and - slash, combo - lade gameplay but I think it has more to do with Bayonetta´s physical attributes like her incredible walnut ass and there is no doubt in my mind that this is a game that is clearly geared to men and the developer know exactly what gamers want.
Butt it´s not all about the booty. Bayonetta also got dem legs - some say unrealistically long ones but since when have video game characters been realistic - to which the game pays tribute with plenty of crotch shots.
As if that wasn´t enough Bayonetta also is a real pro at spreading her legs like she´s auditioning for Die Rote Meile. According to what I found on the internet Bayonetta was born in Vigrid, a fictional european country but you can clearly see video game designer Hideki Kamiya´s japanese influence since Bayonetta displays the moves of a fillipino stripper.
On top of that one of Bayonetta´s special powers is that she can make clothes - out of her hair. That´s right if you thought the lusty red locks of Medusa were sexy hold onto your Lederhosen because you have seen nothing yet. When Bayonetta needs a new outfit her black hair just flows over her body - which of course has to be naked for that to work right - and presto changeo. In a hyper sexual transformation that puts even Sailor Moon to shame Bayonetta makes all little gamer boys dreams come true.
So all things combined Bayonetta was programmed to have the perfect bubblebutt and probably the longest legs in gaming which she not only can spread like a professional stripper she also gets semi naked ( since there is no full frontal nudity as her naughty bits are always covered up ) a lot.
Speaking about Bayonetta´s bonerinducing moves, there is a part in the game where she encounters a Doppelgänger and the only way to prove who is the real one and who is just a cheap copy is - you guessed it : an ultra sexy dance off. I´m not so sure if it really makes sense but I´m not complaining either because you get to see two leatherclad, longledded sexbombs high - kicking it like there´s no Tomorrow for the price of one.
In the end it doesn´t solve anything since the two babes are too evenly matched and they have to resort to fighting to resolve the issue but they put on quite the show. I don´t think they do birthday parties though.
And if you think that´s all of the dancing that takes place in the game you are only partially right because there is an after credits ( and when I say AFTER that part is meant quite literally as not only does Bayonetta shake her ass like JaMILF Lee Curtis in her famous striptease from TRUE LIES, the camera also gives us a long zoom on her rotating buttcheeks ) where Bayonetta does an erotic victory / fertility dance ( wrestling fans from my generation may be experiencing flashbacks of Paul Orndoff ) that turns boys into men, gay men straight, straight women into lesbians and MAY just change how Zack Snyder thinks about post credit scenes in movies.
I have included two videos with Bayonetta´s superior dance ( I wonder how many people out there got that reference ) and the first one has the best quality but there is also a scene with some guy before that so you have to skip that to get to the good part. Nice preview pic by the way.
The second video is just the dance part of the ending. Which is 3 minutes and 30 seconds of uninhibited, unadulterated, sexually charged dancing with several partially nude bits, wall to wall gyrating hips, chest bumps, flexing butts and spreading legs culminating in a frenetic erotic crescendo that finishes with an explosive finale of orgiastic moves that would make professional strippers blush. If you are one of those guys who don´t mind if movies are cut ( meaning censored ) in Germany by up to 30 minutes this will show you how much you can miss in only 3 minutes and a half.
Since I planned to post this part a few things have happened like the infamous PLAYBOY shoot with Playmate Of The Month For October 2012 Pamela Horton. Now I am not sure but I think they were made around the time when PLAYBOY thought it would be a good idea to stop publishing nude photos. Accordingly the issue didn´t really give the audience what they wanted especially since they could get raunchier material from the game. A lot of people said the PLAYBOY pictures looked like bad cosplay so here is a video to show you how a good Bayonetta cosplayer looks like.
With the last videos we return to the part with the Landers sisters. Born for porn actress Judy Landers appeared in the trashy Dr. Alien so here is another sci fi movie with sexy aliens which has been labeled a schlock classic although in my opinion undeservedly. Not only was it written by Dan O´Bannon, directed by Tobe Hooper with special effects done by John Dykstra and the music was written by Michael Kamen and Henry Mancini it also starred Patrick Stewart and french 37C - 24 - 37 sexbomb Mathilda May who is completely naked through almost the entire movie.
Since this is the 100th episode and unlike most movies that are reviewed on Brandon´s Cult Movie Reviews it is actually good there are two parts.
I also mentioned Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elders Little Annie Fanny which is usually just a cheap excuse to post the link to my post about the comic as well as the scattered pages where I don´t have a complete story. But in this case I actually found a video about the comicbook which is ultrarare.
The title of that comic was of course based on Harold Gray´s iconic comic strip that was so popular that it was adapted to radio shows, movies, broadway shows and musicals. Which deserves a post of its own. Since I never can post all of the Christmas videos I bookmarked Today´s cartoon video is Little Orphan Annie´s A Very Animated Christmas. I am not sure if this is canon though because most of the cast acts out of character and we have an adult version of Annie while the strip ended with a cliffhanger that was never resolved ( well, it was in 2014 within the DICK TRACY comic strip by Mike Curtis and Joe Staton ) in which she had been kidnapped.
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I guess I´m just too busy to have time for hate.
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